I do NOT own anything, but the plot.
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Your love of this story is blowing me away – as always, thank you!
Nalo a loaʻa
-loosely translate to "lost and found"-
CHAPTER TWELVE
With a sigh, Danny pulled himself out of his bed. Working with minimal sleep, he knew he was in for a long day and just the thought of Steve being a few feet away did very little to calm his churning stomach.
The sight of Grace stood in front of the couch watching over Steve the moment he entered the room didn't help matters either.
"Morning, Monkey," Danny said, pressing a kiss to his daughter's temple. "You're up early."
"Danno," Grace started, without retiring a good morning. "I've never seen him like this."
She'd been staring at Steve for a while, watching every line on his face not relax at all during his sleep. All she could see was the way his face looked when Danny had brought him inside, the tear tracks, the lost look, and the forgotten issues between them.
In actual fact, Grace had never seen her uncle shed a tear. In all the years they had been a family, Steve had always been tall and strong and stoic. Even in the face of the worst, Steve never broke character, his naval background producing the rod for his back.
"Me either," Danny admitted in a sombre tone.
"It's scary," Grace admitted, sinking onto the corner of the coffee table to watch over her Uncle Steve. "I didn't sleep much."
"I heard you..." his admittance was soft, but it was also a show that while his daughter hadn't slept, neither had he. "We both kept watch over him."
"Not that he's moved much," Grace chided with a sigh. "This is bad, isn't it?"
Danny nodded and bit his lip.
"How do you want to play it?"
Shrugging, Grace hugged herself a little tighter. She had thought long and hard about the next steps she would take, remaining tentative with every option she took. She knew that she loved her Uncle Steve, but she was hardened by his death, as if a part of her had gone with him to the grave. The fact that was all a façade hurt more because shards of her were with him in the ground and she didn't know if she would get those back.
Taking notice of Grace's silence, Danny decided to lead the way.
"C'mon, Monkey, let's go make breakfast."
When Steve came to the first thing he took notice off was the hammer continuously smacking every inch of the inside of his skull. There was no reprieve and opening his eyes only intensified the pain, and as his eyes focused on his surroundings, he couldn't help the groan that fell from his dry lips. Pushing both heels of his hands into his eyes, he forced himself to sit up and take stock of his next moves.
Seeing Danny's living room made his heart sink into his stomach, and he knew the quicker he left, the easier it would be. The last place he wanted to be was here, around Danny and around the kids. It was the only place he had wanted since he came back. The true epicentre of his Ohana started with his best friend and ended with the kids, but he knew that it wasn't fair to be here.
So, he decided to creep out while Danny was occupied in the kitchen, his voice trailing through the house, Grace's laughter following soon after. Putting his feet into his boots, he tied them up as quickly as he could and searched his pockets for his cell and keys. Spotting them both on the coffee table, he folded the blanket he didn't remember having placed on him, set it down and silent crept to the front door.
He'd deal with this fallout later away from Grace and Charlie.
"And just what sort of halfway house do you think I run here, McGarrett?"
Steve cringed, closing his eyes as his hand hovered over the door handle.
"Did you really think you could sleep on my couch, have my son stare at you for almost an hour waiting for you to wake up and leave before me and my daughter could serve breakfast?"
Turning slowly, Steve met Danny's gaze across the room and all but sunk against the front door to Danny's house.
"I thought I might have overstayed my welcome."
Danny thought he had a rude awakening last night, but seeing how unsure of his place Steve had become was something else. He swallowed hard, hating to see a man who would grin and bear every insult and dig that would come out of Danny's mouth, now look lost in a place he could call home. This wasn't right.
"Thanks for letting me crash, but I don't wan-"
"If you say you don't want to overstay your welcome again, I'll grab my handcuffs and cuff you to a dining room chair and let Charlie force feed you."
As if on cue, the sound of feet running on wooden floor echoed through the house.
"Uncle Steve!" Charlie yelled, cutting through Steve's hungover while simultaneously flinging himself at the man in question. "You're awake! I waited forever for you to wake up! I have all these new toys to show you! Are you done with the special mission?"
Steve looked stricken, unsure of how he should deal with this moment, not wanting to push Danny. He cast a look at his best friend and Danny gave an almost non-existent nod. With a slight confirmation, Steve crouched down to Charlie's level.
"Hey Buddy, yeah, I'm done with the mission."
"Good!" he announced loudly. "Where did this one take you? Did you get hurt?"
"Er, yeah, I was hurt, but I'm all good now," Steve said, trying in vain to keep himself positive. "And I was a lot closer than you'd ever believe."
"Oh, so you did bring back anything?"
"Charlie!" Danny scolded.
"Sorry, Buddy, I wasn't allowed to do any shopping," Steve replied, trying his hardest to be convincing. "I would've if I could have."
"Dad! It's all burning!" Grace called out suddenly.
"Crap!" Danny reacted to Grace's panic. "Get his butt onto a chair, Charlie. I do believe breakfast is done!"
"Danny," Steve started.
"Na uh, butt in chair now, Steven," Danny ordered, giving both Steve and his son a stern look. "Charlie, use as much force as necessary to see superman does as he's told."
"Okay, Danno!"
Steve felt Charlie's hand wrap around his. The shock was almost too much for him to fathom, and before he could react, Charlie was dragging Steve through the house and into the dining room. The table was already set for four people, breakfast was already waiting in the way of fresh fruit and drinks.
"You're here, Uncle Steve," Charlie ordered, forcing Steve towards his normal seat.
Knowing he couldn't do anything but listen, Steve sunk into his seat and watched Charlie dart around the table to take his place next to Danny's usual spot. The dryness in his mouth and throat intensified as he realised that Grace's seat was next to him – like it normally would be. He gulped harshly as Danny and Grace's talking got closer, the smell of food wafting through with them.
"Buon appetito," Danny declared as plates were set down.
With his mouth practically watering at the sight of the pancakes, Steve curled his arm around his stomach. His hangover was kicking his ass, but what was paining him most was the familiarity of this setting - Danno and his kids and breakfast weren't a first for Steve, it was a regular occurrence, but now he felt he had no right to this.
"Hey Babe?" Danny called out from the head of the table. "You'll feel better when you eat."
"We made your favourite," Grace tried, giving him a small smile, but she hesitated to use his token nickname. "Banana and chocolate chip pancakes."
"With extra chocolate chips!" Charlie exclaimed proudly.
Steve knew he should react to Charlie, show him some enthusiasm but instead the pit in his stomach opened up and he felt the walls closing in. With the entire Williams's family watching him, he felt like he couldn't breathe. For something he wanted back so much, Steve could only think about leaving them.
"This isn't right." Scratching his head, Steve couldn't give into one moment of peace when everything felt so out of place. "I have to go. I'm sorry."
Abandoning the table, Steve felt his head swim with the movement as his hangover kicked up a notch.
"You need to eat," Danny admonished, following Steve. "You nee-"
"No!" Steve cut up off, his own voice ramping up his headache. "No, what I need to do is get out of here."
"Honestly, Steve, you don't."
"You didn't want me here, Danny." Steve started off slowly, coming to terms with his new life. "You said that yourself and then I gate-crash because I couldn't hold my liquor." His closed his eyes and softened his voice as he added: "Grace didn't even want to see me."
It'd just be easier if he had never come home.
Grace's words were forever a litany of torture combined with her father's and they were eternal punishment. While Danny may not know Steve heard the conversation between father and daughter, Steve took it to heart.
The idea of forcing more suffering on the Williams' trio physically pained Steve and that phantom pain blanched across his chest again. Rubbing a hand over his ribcage, Steve went for the door handle.
"You even so much as caress that door handle and you can count your right to this house permanently revoked."
"Danny," Steve tried to argue.
"Steven," Danny replied, with mocked seriousness as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I mean it, Steve. You leave, don't look back."
"This isn't right," Steve started, his eyes meeting Danny's as he started to turn around. "The kids…"
"Prepared breakfast with all of your favourites," Danny replied, applying emphasis where necessary. "Not mine, not theirs, but yours, so take from that what you must." He watched the man for a moment. "C'mon, Babe…"
Even with the gentle coercion, Steve still looked unsure.
"Look, Steve, you're hungover and I know you didn't bring a spare change of clothes, but you should eat then you can have a shower and lay low here for the day."
Steve resisted the urge to leave, but he knew he had to. What Danny had done this morning had already pushed the boundaries when Danny said to give them time and he didn't even remember breaking them.
"Uncle Steve?" Charlie called from behind them. "Don't leave. Please."
And Steve felt his will start to break under that soft tone, but the inner turmoil was enough to make him pause for thought. He wanted to stay here and remain in this house until he felt better equipped to deal with the outside world, but it was serving as a reminder that while this was a safe place for him, it was ruining what it was for Danny and his kids. He hated to feel like an imposter, but with all of the baggage he had brought back with him, Steve was reticent to concede.
"You're really not dealing too well, are you?"
Steve could only scoff at his partner's observation.
"I know I've not exactly been the support you needed ... I've been a right SOB, to be honest, but last night really opened my eyes to what happened to you."
Rubbing the nape of his neck, Steve replied, "You don't even know the half of it."
"Then don't you think you need to tell me?"
"Would you listen if I did?" Steve asked, his entire demeanour lacked hoped.
"Eventually," Danny softly admitted, his tone showing he wasn't proud of himself. "I was broken after you left, Steve. I have a chance to make up for that … and I'm trying, and if that means I start by using your favourite breakfast and my son to do it, so be it."
"It's getting cold," Charlie sulked, unable to see the seriousness of the moment.
Steve studied Charlie's pout, one that mirrored his sister's that was for sure.
"We better get eating then, hadn't we?"
While his reply was quieter and not as powerful as normal, Danny deflated upon hearing Steve give in, and he didn't care if he was doing it Charlie's sake or not, the fact that he wasn't running was steps in the right direction.
"C'mon, Charlie," Steve said, placing a hand onto the child's back to guide him back. "Let's eat."
Triumphant, Danny followed, taking Grace's phone off her as he walked passed and setting it on the sideboard. He exchanged glares with her, but she gave hers up when she realised she wouldn't win.
A few moments passed, the family eating in harmony, the calm settling, the kids talking when Steve gazed across the table and saw Charlie smothered in chocolate, a giant smear trailing up his cheek. Clearing his throat to withhold his laughter, he caught Danny's gaze and nodded to the blonde child who was merrily eating his pancakes.
"You know, Bud, you're meant to eat it, not wear it," Danny mused, laughing as he leaned across the table. "What sort of mess is this?"
Charlie shrugged, uncaring of the mess he was making.
"It's good, Danno!"
"He's got a point," Steve joked.
"Always knew it was your influence that would lead my kids down a road of total depravity," Danny argued with an eye roll, only to focus and see Charlie getting chocolate on his neck and collar of his shirt. "Don't move from this table, you two, let me clean Charlie up and we'll resume breakfast."
It happened in quick succession – the change in the atmosphere. The very moment Danny was gone it was like the air in the room dissipated and Steve became hyperaware of Grace and with it, he kept remembering what she had said outside of the Palace.
It'd just be easier if he had never come home.
Danny could have created any form of a distraction, but when the dust settled, the aftermath was always going to be the same. The trails of destruction were not ones that could be healed with pancakes and smoothies, and while Danny may have become his closest ally, Grace was added to the casualty list with Cath and Mary.
It'd just be easier if he had never come home.
The same comment looped in his brain, and he couldn't handle the buzzing of his own emotions. Being here was taking away Grace's sanctuary and Steve felt a complete dick about forcing himself into their lives because he was too intoxicated to go drown his sorrows at home where no one had to see.
Clearly feeling the uncomfortableness of it all, Grace shifted in her seat before she got up and walked away from Steve, leaving him sat at the table all alone. When he heard the door to Grace's room slam, he jumped. Although he hadn't finished his breakfast, Steve took the moment to leave, shooting Danny a text to thank him.
It'd just be easier if he had never come home.