I do NOT own anything, but the plot.
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As always, thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy what's to come!
Nalo a loaʻa
-loosely translate to "lost and found"-
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Steve was well aware of the blood pressure cuff tightening around his arm as he resurfaced back into consciousness, but with that came his awareness that his pain meds were wearing off and his stomach was doing angry somersaults. Evening his breathing, he tried to abate the growing nausea, but he soon realised that was a futile task.
"Hey Steve, you waking up?"
Danny's voice bit through the haze, and Steve willed his eyes to open, the light immediately forcing his headache to elevate.
"Hey," he said softly, leaning over the side of the bed. "How you feeling?"
Not answering, instead gulping harshly, Steve moved his hand slowly towards his face, wanting to get rid of the nasal cannula under his nose, just so he could feel a little more freedom.
"Leave the equipment alone, McGarrett," Danny reprimanded, his hand knocking Steve's away from reaching the oxygen tube. "You're a fully grown animal, you should know it's there for important reasons."
"It's annoying," Steve managed.
"So's your aneurysm face, but I put up with looking at it."
Steve grunted on a laugh but regretted it as his abdomen ignited with fire and he groaned at the uncomfortableness of it. As pain collided with mounting nausea, he could feel the rising need to vomit and didn't know if he could fight it away any longer.
"Steve?" Danny suddenly asked, watching Steve's expression change.
"'m g'nna be s'ck," he muttered miserably, his hand flying to his mouth.
Instinctively, Danny reached for the pink plastic bowl on the table and placed it under Steve's chin as the first gag happened. Painfully, Steve had twisted his body, so he was hugging the bowl, his body convulsing with dry heaves. It was mere seconds later; Steve was bringing up what very little he had in his system and Danny was pushing the call button for the nurse. Soothingly, he rubbed Steve's arm as the injured man moaned at the discomfort it was pushing onto his body.
Right now, Danny was pleased Kono and Chin had taken the kids for breakfast. As much as he hated witnessing it, he knew Steve would've died if the kids saw him like this. Glancing up in time to see the nurse enter the room he was amazed that while hurried, she looked calm at the urgency now surrounding her patient.
"Help him, please," he desperately ordered.
She took one look at Steve and rushed out of the room, coming back almost as quickly as she left. In quick, succinct motions, she injected clear liquids into Steve's IV, the sympathetic frown knotting on her face.
"I've given him something to help with the nausea and I've topped up his pain meds," she advised Danny and turned to her face, her face smiling warmly at Steve. "That should help, Commander."
Steve was yet to reply, the retching had caused his stomach muscles to crunch and tighten and the incision on his side was paying the price.
"What's caused him to be like this?" Danny asked, glancing from Steve nonchalantly clinging into the pink bowl as if his life depended on it.
"It's most likely the concussion combined with the anaesthesia." Stepping beside Steve, she made sure he hadn't dislodged anything, before turning her entire attention to Steve. "I'll grab another bowl so we can get rid of that one."
"Thanks," Steve grumbled, miserably. "Urgh," he moaned into the bowl. "Sorry, Danno."
Looking up from the bowl, Steve's ashen face was cover in beads of sweat, but the apologetic gaze made Danny's heart thud a little harder in sympathy.
"You're sorry?" Danny guffawed.
"Yeah, no one needs to see this," he managed, praying his stomach was calmer.
"Right, Gentlemen, let's get things cleaned up a little," the nurse stated, taking the used bowl, quickly replacing it with a clean on. "I'll be right back, but hopefully the meds I gave you have started to kick in."
As quickly as she was gone, she was back, this time taking to Steve's other side, Danny still lingering nearby.
"Think you're good enough to lay back, Commander?" she asked, her tone soft.
"Steve … please, just call me Steve. Not Commander."
In all honesty, Steve hated his rank more often than not nowadays.
"Okay, but only if you call me Sarah," she mused with a sweet smile. "We can get rid of all formality seeing as you're mostly under my care for the duration of your stay here."
"Seems fair," Steve agreed, allowing her gentle yet firm hand to guide him back to the pillows. "Shit," he grunted as his body reacted to the movement.
"The meds I gave you should help any minute now, you just need to breathe through the pain," she coerced him, her voice very much like her touch. "How are you really feeling, Steve?"
"Is that a trick question?" Steve asked gruffly, his voice rough with his discomfort.
"I suppose it is," Sarah replied, laughing lightly. "Am I okay to leave you in Danny's hand?" she asked, and Steve closed his eyes only to nod. "If you need me, I'm just outside at the nurse's desk."
"Okay," Steve replied, and felt her move away, muttering something softly to Danny. "You okay?" Steve grunted as he went to sit up, but Danny pressed him back against the pillows. "Kids? The team? You all okay?"
"Steve, none of us are in a hospital bed," Danny replied, cocking an eyebrow. "Only you would ask a stupid question like that."
"Franklin," Steve started.
"Is not your problem," Danny uttered, knowing how stupid that sounded. "Chin and Kono took the kids for breakfast." He washed the little bit of colour wash from Steve's face. "Yeah, thought you'd have that reaction with that hit to your noggin."
Looking down the best he could through a heavy gaze, Steve groaned at the sight of his leg – bandaged and braced and settled on a couple of pillows. While not quite as severely secured as it had been five months previous, he was fairly able to ascertain that life would be difficult while he tried to recover what progress he had lost in one evening.
"You won't be rattling cages and climbing trees for a bit, Babe." Danny's words were matched with a sympathetic pat on the thigh. "Think you can simmer down the urges enough to recover?"
"We'll see," Steve remarked, a watery smile on his lips. "So go'n, what's the damage?"
"Well, aside from the bullet wound to your side, your kidney is compromised, your knee and thigh bone, too." Danny observed his partner, watching how he tried to digest the short version of his injuries. "Not quite the original laundry list you had, but it's trying hard to beat it. Well, according to the doctor's prognosis, it's piggybacking off the last list."
"So'can see," Steve grumbled in a slur, sighing heavily. His fist gripped the sheets while his mind tried to mentally rally, and the drugs started to numb the pain. "D'dn't want to do this t'you guys either."
At hearing those words, Danny felt his gut clench.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"We go from b'rely talking to me like this," Steve lamented, looking down at his broken body. "D'dn't wanna do this to you lot."
Danny watched Steve drift off to sleep and didn't feel settled by what his partner had just said. In actual fact, it made Danny realise he wasn't even near mending the bridges between them.
When he next woke up, Steve was first aware of the extra presence in the room, and he felt his heart clench at who could possibly be there. All he kept thinking about was how everyone reacted to him being home and here he was physically trapped in a hospital bed. Numbed by narcotics, he was only thankful his brain wasn't clear enough to think of much more. Forcing his eyes open, Steve decided he had to face the music.
"Welcome back, Super SEAL," Danny greeted as he watched Steve's eyes open. "How you feeling now? Any better?"
"A little," he said, his voice a mere croak.
It was as his vision focused, Steve realised Grace and Charlie were standing a few feet away on the opposite side of the bed.
"Here… have some of this," Danny ordered as he reached for a small tub with a spoon in it. "Grace just got some ice."
Steve took a spoonful and sunk into his pillows, allowing the ice to melt. As he came more aware of his surroundings, Steve also couldn't forget the headache and the accompanying aftereffects of a concussions. He gulped against the dizziness, hoping the kids wouldn't notice, he knew Danny spotted it before Steve had even paid enough attention, but he could deal with that - for now.
"Do you need me to get Sarah?" Danny asked softly, not sure if Steve was nauseous or about to puke. "She can give you something."
"No," Steve managed, closing his eyes. "I'm okay."
"Are you really okay?" Grace asked, standing a few feet from the bed.
Steve looked at the distance and his heart sank. Maybe he had imagined her talking to him when he had first woken up. Maybe it had been a moment of fantasy in the turmoil he had found himself in. A drug induced fantasy where everything okay.
"Yeah, I will be," Steve assured, a hand coming to rub his forehead wincing when he hit the bruising to his temple. "In a few days, everything will go back to normal."
Whatever normal was anymore.
"Steve?" Danny asked, moving to Steve's injured side. "Everything okay there, Super SEAL?"
"Yeah," he lied, but the pit in his stomach continued to grow.
"You're an appalling liar considering the line of work you're in," Danny deadpanned, gazing down his partner with a cocked brow. "What's going on, Babe?"
"You can go home," Steve coerced Danny. "I'll be fine here on my own."
Danny winced, confused by the sudden coldness coming off Steve. In the last few hours, Steve had burned through so many emotions, been shot and stabbed, and very nearly died again. Remembering their conversation before Steve had fallen asleep, Danny steadied himself, preparing for the battle ahead. Glancing at his daughter, he gave her a reassuring smile before taking charge of the situation.
"Have you become so accustomed to your own company you can't even pretend to play nicely with others?"
"It's not that," Steve started, not sure how to carry this conversation on without hurting anyone. "You've all got better things to do than sit around a hospital."
Danny watched Steve retract into himself, preparing for them all to walk away from him.
"Steve?" Danny started, unprepared to leave this hospital room until he was kicked out. "Do you want to be alone?"
Looking away, Steve didn't reply.
"You've now also forgotten to speak ... didn't realise brain damage was so delayed in you navy folk."
"There are better things to be doing than being here," Steve commented, beating around the bush. "With me."
"It was a simple yes or no question... should I get a doctor to come and check your ears?"
Feeling like a cage animal, Steve tried in vain to not react, but he couldn't help it. Everyone would leave eventually, and Steve wanted to do it on his say so, not anyone else's. He didn't want to wait in the quicksand and wait to drown again.
"Damnit, Danny!" Steve yelled and tried to push himself up weakly.
His act was futile, and he regretted moving when he resulted in grunting when a pain shot down his leg and his hand went instinctively to the source of pain. The fire in his side suddenly shot up, debilitating him.
"Jesus, Steve!" Danny reacted.
"Danno said everything I learned with the Aloha Girls finally paid off," Grace quickly worried, her voice wobbling slightly. "What's wrong?"
Steve's eyes shot to Grace, and he took in the nervous stance she'd taken.
"Nothing," Steve feebly replied, breathing through the pain. "Nothing's wrong. I moved too quickly that's all. I'm fine."
"And he's back in the room," Danny chided with an eye roll. "Would it hurt you too much to actually admit some pain, Superman? You're not fine but you will be fine. Now stop lying to Grace..."
"I'm fine," Steve bit out, giving Danny a death glare.
"I can't win with you," Danny muttered, throwing his arms up in exasperation as he began to pace.
"Uncle Steve, is your leg hurting you? What about your side? Your head?" Grace asked, taking a few steps forward. "Do you need any pain meds?"
"No, Grace, I promise you I'll be fine," Steve said tenderly. "I just moved too quickly and pulled on my leg a bit."
"I'm going to get Sarah," Danny muttered, nervous at Steve's suffering.
"Danny, stop, I really am fine … I've dealt with worse," Steve admitted, flexing in the bed to help lessen the pains. "Everything will be fine."
Steve didn't know if he was saying to himself or to comfort those in the room.
"Danno?" Charlie's soft voice carried through the room as he approached his father's side.
"What's up, Bud?" Danny asked, picking him son up. "You feeling a little left out?"
Charlie just bobbed his head, but kept his eyes directly on Steve, his gaze soft, lips pinched. He suddenly got shy as Steve narrowed his gaze on the little boy.
"What's up, little man?"
"You're hurt," Charlie pointed out, looking down at his uncle's leg. "How are you meant to take me swimming with that on?"
"Ah, Charlie," Danny started.
"We'll find a way," Steve said before Danny could get any further.
"While you're in the Ritz of hospital rooms you can think again," Danny observed. "I want to know what you did to deserve a room like this considering I'm the one that's usually taking the bullets."
"What am I doing in a room like this?" Steve asked, frowning as he tried to make sense of things through his pounding head. "This doesn't even look like a hospital room."
In fact, it was large, spacious with seating for families to gather, a large television sat on the wall, and a decent view of Hawaii from the large expanse of glass in the corner of the room. Even the sheets were of a better quality.
"The governor made some calls, pulled some strings and you lucked out," Danny explained, grinning. "Do you want me to get a nurse to help with that headache you'll tell me you don't have?"
Steve grinned. "No, I just want to lay here in the peace. If that's okay with you three?"
Peace for Steve wasn't sheer silence. It was the spaces in time that were filled with people around him, the hustle and bustle of life, and the feeling that he wasn't alone anymore.
"That's more than okay with us, Steven."
Later, while Danny kept Charlie occupied, Grace sat curled up in a chair directly next to Steve's bedside, watching the monitors as they documented her uncle's steady vitals. It was Sunday, and the kids didn't need to be home for a while yet, but Danny had long suspected Grace wasn't moving for a while yet, so he sat on the couch and allowed Grace and Steve some quiet time.
"You can go home, you know, Gracie?"
Tearing her eyes from the rhythmic lines and noises, Grace's eyes focused on Steve's tired ones, and she frowned. She didn't uncurl from her position; she didn't even move an inch.
"Is that what you want?"
"Doesn't matter what I want," Steve replied, his words gentle in the room. "I told you I would work for your forgiveness, but if you don't want to be here, I don't expect you to stay here."
"I don't want to leave."
Her admittance was soft, but her gaze was holding strong.
"Are you sure?"
Grace gave a small head bob and pushed herself up in her seat.
"I won't mind," Steve coerced.
It wasn't a total lie. Sure, watching her leave would hurt as much as when she fled the breakfast table days ago, but he would take it.
"I've been horrible. And you heard what I said to Danno when I first saw you. How can you even look at me, Uncle Steve?"
Tears lined her lashes and one by one they started to drop down her cheeks. Curling up tighter Grace rubbed her cheeks along her knees, willing herself to stop crying before a sob could unravel.
"Gracie, you had a right to be mad," Steve comforted her, watching her eyes continue to well up with tears. "You're allowed to say things because of that."
"I don't wish you'd never come home, though," she started to say, her lip wobbling. "I'm really happy you came back, Uncle Steve. Like really, really happy."
"I'm happy to be home, too," Steve admitted, tenderly, hoping she hear every ounce of truth to that statement.
"Monkey, give the giant oaf a hug and make friends again."
Both Steve and Grace's heads whipped round to see that Danny had paused reading to Charlie, merely to intervene with the conversation.
"What? It's what you both want."
"Why does Gracie not like Uncle Steve, Danno?" Charlie asked, confusion marking his expression. "They were always best friends."
"Best friends, huh?"
Charlie nodded his head vigorously. "Mmhmm, he takes her out running and surfing, and helps build the bestest sandcastles!"
"What about me?"
"What about you, Danno?" Charlie asked, looking innocently up at his father. "You read bedtime stories to us, but Uncle Steve puts on silly faces and voices. Plus, he's taller so I can touch the sky more when I'm on his shoulders."
"He's got a good point with that one," Steve agreed, making Grace laugh.
"What is happening here?" Danny exclaimed. "Disowned by my own children for a neanderthal."
"Just admit you can't beat the best, Danno," Steve mentioned, giving Danny a cheeky little grin.
"The best? The best?!" Danny exclaimed.
"Danno, you're breaking up the moment," Grace pointed out, grinning at her father. "Do you want us to make up?"
"You make up and you can go live with him, too, I'm officially disowning you both," Danny threatened, starting to tickle the little boy in his arms, the book abandoned.
"No! Danno! No!" Charlie exclaimed, giggling at his father.
"I'll stop if you take it all back and call Uncle Steve a big fat nincompoop," Danny offered Charlie a moment of mercy, his fingers still tickling his small frame.
"Uncle Steve's a big fat nincompoop!"
Steve laughed at the sight, drinking it in. He had fought for moments like this, dreaded losing them, and prayed he wouldn't have to remember them, but could, instead, live them again.
"I am really sorry," Grace said, seating forward in her seat, gaining Steve's attention again. "I don't know how I can make it up to you."
"Giving me a hug is a very good start," Steve jested.
"Can I?"
Steve hated how cautious Grace was with him, so without the need for words, he put his arm out, showing her the space of the bed beside him was open for her to climb on if she needed to. He would forget about the pains on the left side of his body for just a moment of feeling his niece giving him even half of the cuddles she used to. He was bone tired, heavy with drugs, addled with a concussion, but he would wait to crash until he got his and Grace's relationship back onto an even ground.
Grace didn't need telling twice, she gingerly climbed onto the bed, mindful of every tube and wire, and hugged her uncle best she could as he lay in the hospital bed, but she couldn't withhold the tears and started to sob against his shoulder.
"Oh, Gracie," Steve soothed and looked to Danny who looked on worriedly. "You don't have to cry."
"You almost died," she murmured into body. "It sucked the first time, Uncle Steve."
"Yeah, can't say it was much fun for me either."
Flashing a glance Danny's way, Steve was frowning at Grace's distress, but Danny refused to move, allowing Steve the moment to handle this alone.
"I really am happy I'm home," Steve whispered, tightening his arm around her body as she began to calm. "I can take losing the navy but losing you lot is unimaginable."
"What about Mary and Catherine?" she asked, snuggling in closer.
"One thing at a time, Gracie," Steve sighed, closing his eyes. "For today, this is enough."