Chapter 124: Epilogue
I'm late. It was a sobering thought, one that rattled Clarke to her core, but at this point, there was no denying it, not putting it out of her mind. She was supposed to have put a red dot on her September calendar days ago. A week ago, at this point. And she hadn't. No red dot because . . . no period. Her period was late.
For the sixth time that morning, Clarke flipped back to her August calendar, counting the days one by one, wracking her brain for some type of explanation that could make sense. Maybe last month she'd accidentally put the dot on the wrong day. Maybe that was throwing her whole countdown off, and she wasn't late at all. Maybe she'd be sitting in bio today and just get that sense that her period was kicking in. She had tampons in her purse. She was ready.
No matter what crazy theories she invented in her mind, not one of them was as plausible as the simplest one. As much as she didn't want to think about it, didn't even want to consider the possibility, she'd slept with Finn last month. And because she'd had a couple drinks in her, she hadn't been as adamant about him using protection as she should have. It was stupid. It was so stupid. She felt like an idiot.
There was only one thing that was going to clear up the confusion, something she could do later today. For now, though, she still had a class to get to and an exam to somehow attempt to complete.
As she sat in biology, working through her first test of the semester, she had to force herself to focus. It wasn't easy material, and she hadn't exactly done a lot of studying the past few days on account of . . . being distracted. She took some educated guesses when she wasn't sure on the answer, though, and ended up being the first to walk up to the front of the room and hand it in. It definitely wasn't her best, but hopefully it'd be enough for a solid B. She could study harder for the next one, do better, hopefully bring her grade back up to A.
She was already sitting in her next class when it dawned on her that she'd completely neglected to do an essay question on the back of that test. That was a quarter of the exam grade right there. And she'd just left it blank.
She had to get up and leave the room because . . . it was just too much. In that moment, making a mistake like that just felt like the end of the world. She started thinking about all sorts of outlandish possibilities, like dropping out of that class and late-registering for an online one. Or maybe just dropping out altogether. It wasn't like she was actually wanted to be a doctor anyway.
The worst part about her day was how busy it ended up being. She totally spaced out on lunch with Raven, then spent her whole afternoon in a mandatory clinical up at the hospital. She actually ran into her mom while she was walking through the halls with her class, and her mom reminded her about tomorrow night. Clarke just nodded, but her brain was so full that she didn't even remember what tomorrow night entailed. Some kind of event? Fancy fundraiser event for the hospital? Yeah, that sounded about right. She was supposed to go pick her dress up from the dry cleaner after she got done here. But she had a more important thing to go pick up now, and everything else just sort of seemed insignificant in comparison.
The clinical went longer than it was supposed to, so it was already nearly 6:00 by the time she was able to get back in her car and leave campus. She headed straight for Walgreens, determined not to back out this time. Yesterday, she'd been so close to pulling into that parking lot, but she'd talked herself out of it, hoping that if she just waited one more day, she'd be able to put a red dot on her calendar. No such luck.
When Clarke walked into Walgreens, the first thing she did was ask to use their bathroom. She just wanted to check one more time to see if anything had . . . shown up in her underwear. But nope. Nothing. She was even later now than she'd been that morning. Great.
The bad part about buying anything from that pharmacy was that everyone who worked there knew her mom, and by extension, most of them knew her. She had to believe that they would be professional, though, and keep her purchase completely confidential. Still, in an effort to disguise what she'd come there to buy, she grabbed a few random vitamins, some hand sanitizer, Band-Aids, and a toothbrush all before swiping a home pregnancy test off the shelf. The nice woman at the checkout counter didn't comment on anything and told her to have a good night as she left. Clarke . . . didn't see how that was possible. She had to take a pregnancy test tonight. Alone. Again.
She headed straight home after that, totally neglecting to make the other stop that she needed to. Not that the dry cleaning place would still be open anyway. She'd have to rummage around her closet and find some old dress, but it wouldn't be the one her mom had requested that she wear. Her mom would definitely comment on it. Just some passive-aggressive remark like, "Oh, you chose to wear that one," or "I thought you were wearing that one I like." So it was lovely that she had that to look forward to.
I'm pretty much fucked, she thought as she trudged up the steps to the front porch of her beach house. Everything sounded so nice and peaceful out there on her own little expanse of sand. Waves stuttered towards the shore, and the late summer wind whispered against her ears. But Clarke's mind was a hurricane. In fact, as she walked inside, she felt like her head was spinning, going around in circles with everything she'd neglected to do that day. The essay question on the back of her biology test, for starters. Picking up her dress for tomorrow night's charity event. Meeting Raven for lunch. Just one thing after another. It wasn't like she'd woken up intending to flake out on so many of her responsibilities, but . . . that was just the kind of day she'd had. And the day wasn't over yet.
Stress was nothing new for Clarke, so she tried her best to talk herself down from it as she lumbered up the stairs, her purse in one hand, the white Walgreens sack full of junk in the other. Just email Jaha. He'll let you come in during his office hours and do the essay, she told herself. You can try to pick up the dress tomorrow, and Raven's your best friend. She won't be mad. Even as she talked herself down from everything bothering her, her stomach still felt knotted up with nerves.
Her bedroom was such a beautiful sight. Not only because it was a beautiful room, but also because she just felt like lying down on that big, queen-sized mattress, crawling under the covers, and finding some trashy but addictive reality show to watch all night. Would've been nice.
Breathing a heavy sigh, she tossed the sack on the plush chair next to her television's display case and debated what to do next. She supposed she could change into something comfy, not that the jeans and black tank top she was wearing were uncomfortable. Or she could call her mom and re-confirm what time she was supposed to be at the gala tomorrow night. Or she could jump in the shower, try to wash off all the bad parts of the day.
Not one of those things was the most important thing to do right now, though.
Fortunately, life brought her a distraction in the form of an unmistakable ding, the same ding that sounded whenever she got a new text message. All too eager for something to take her mind off of everything else, she unzipped her purse, rummaged around inside for a few seconds, and then took out her phone.
She almost dropped it right away.
No way, she thought, staring at the words on the screen in astonishment. No freaking way.
She clicked on the message notification, and there on the screen was a little blue word bubble from a number that hadn't texted her in years. From a person who hadn't texted her in years. And yet here, right now, were two words that brought her right back to a simpler time.
Hey, Princess.
Staring at her screen, stunned, she wondered if she was seeing things. She even blinked her eyes a few times, just to be sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. But Hey, Princess stayed right there, never changing, almost daring her to attempt to formulate some kind of coherent response. As if she could even do that.
She could hardly believe it. It'd been so long that she didn't even have his name and number stored in her phone anymore, and to be quite honest, she was impressed if he still had hers. More than likely, though, he'd had to ask someone for it. Right? Not that it mattered. He was texting her. Two words, but it was enough.
It was Bellamy.
...
As they quietly crept up to the nursery door, Clarke asked, "Do you think she knows?"
"No," Bellamy said. "To her, it's just another normal day."
Clarke wasn't so sure about that, though. Avery had been a little squirrely last night, almost like she knew that waking up in the morning would be the start of a big, important day for her.
"You ready?" Bellamy asked.
She nodded, and together, they counted down, "One, two, three," then threw open the door to the nursery and exclaimed, "Happy birthday!"
Their little girl was already awake, standing, in fact, in her crib, and started to jump around and wriggle when she saw them.
Giving her husband a look, Clarke said, "She knows," and walked over to the crib to lift the excited little birthday girl out.
Mornings sometimes took longer now than they had when Avery had been an infant. Now that she was no longer limited to just crawling, she liked to just take off and start running sometimes. They kept the stairs gated off at all times, for safety, but that didn't stop her from trying to climb up onto it. She'd recently gotten really good at standing up all on her own, and she was taking full advantage of her new ease of mobility.
The best tactic for mornings was usually for one of them to diaper duty while the other took a quick shower. Then they swapped, and the person who'd taken the shower first fed her breakfast. She was a fast eater, so at least they were able to keep the morning routine moving along.
Of course, on a morning like this, Clarke put a little more effort into getting herself ready than she normally would have, so it slowed the whole process down. "Okay, I think I'm ready," she announced, emerging from the bathroom with her makeup now applied. She found Bellamy sitting on the floor with Avery, leaning back against the bed while she rubbed a brush against his head. "What's she doing?" she asked.
"Styling my hair," he replied. He seemed perfectly content to just sit there and let her use him as a human doll. "Now Avery, I would like to look very pretty."
"Well . . . I've seen your hair look worse," she joked.
"Maybe she'll be a hairstylist someday," he suggested, but right after he said that, she threw the brush down and waddled towards the door. "Oh, maybe not."
"We got a runner," Clarke said, ready to chase after her little girl, but luckily, their big golden retriever darted in front of the door and blocked her. "Good job, Picasso," she said. The dog came into the room, forcing Avery to go back, but she didn't seem to mind. She loved cuddling up with and crawling all over her furry companion.
"Picasso, really? Snuggle time right now? We gotta get her dressed," Clarke said, unable to not marvel at how gentle that big canine was with her. "That dog is like a third parent, I swear," she said to Bellamy. When they had adopted Picasso, it had been primarily because of his therapist's recommendation that a pet might be a great source of anxiety relief. But she'd ended up being Avery's most reliable babysitter. She treated her like a little puppy and liked to help take care of her.
"Good dog," Bellamy said, petting Picasso's head. "We gotta take her back from you, though."
"Yep, come on." Clarke lifted Avery off of the golden retriever's back, which provoked a feisty reaction in the little one.
"No!" It was loud, it was shrill, and it was one of her favorite words.
"Yes, you can snuggle with your doggie later," Clarke told her.
"No!"
"Hey, now, none of that," Bellamy said sternly. "You want your birthday present, right? Right?"
Avery got quiet and made a sound that sort of sounded like Yeah.
"Yeah? Then you gotta be good," Bellamy said. "No screaming, okay?"
She mumbled something unintelligible in response but was no longer fussy when Clarke set her down on the bed.
"Look at me," Bellamy said, grinning, "the disciplinarian."
"It's not fair," Clarke whined. "You've got that big, deep voice. She listens to you more." All in all, though, Avery was still a very good kid. She listened to her mommy, too, but sometimes she liked to test the limits with her a little bit more. "Alright, baby, arms up," Clarke said, showing Avery what she wanted her to do.
Avery mimicked her, and Clarke lifted her pajama shirt up over her head. It was time to get her dressed in another one of her super cute outfits. Hopefully it fit, because the dress they'd had her wear for her baptism had ended up being a little too small. It was hard to predict when her growth spurts would happen.
"I can't believe she's already one," Bellamy said, sitting down on the side of the bed.
"I know. Just think, a year ago today, I was in pure agony, pushing a whole person out of my body." Clarke shuddered exaggeratedly at the memory. "How did I ever do that?"
"I don't know, but it was gross," Bellamy said.
She shot him a look as she continued to dress Avery.
"I mean, it was beautiful," he corrected, "but when I looked down there, it was . . ." He correctly interpreted that look as a warning that he needed to change his tune, so he said, "The beautiful miracle of life. I'm so proud of you, baby."
"Damn right you are." She smirked, then sat back and surveyed Avery's outfit. "Oh. My. God," she said, in awe. "You are the prettiest little girl I've ever seen."
"And the sweetest," Bellamy added.
"And the smartest." Hopefully she didn't grow up to be big-headed, because they both bragged her up a lot. "Is it your birthday?" Clarke asked her in a baby talk voice.
Avery squealed.
"Yes, it is. And do you know how old you are? Do you know?"
Avery looked at her curiously for a moment, then shook her head. It was amazing how easy it had become to communicate with her.
"Can you hold up one finger like this?" Clarke said, demonstrating. "One. Can you say that?"
"Waa," Avery said, holding up one finger.
"Very good," Clarke praised her. "You're one. You were born one year ago today."
"Best day of our lives, Avery," Bellamy told her.
"Yep. The very best day." It was crazy how a whole year had gone by so fast. Sometimes she wished she could pause or at least slow things down. But she and Bellamy were both doing their best to savor every moment, cherish every memory. Including the ones they would make today.
"Okay, for real, you need to fix your hair before everyone gets here," she told her husband, "because she is not gonna be a hairstylist."
He smoothed down the mess atop his head and asked, "Better?"
She shook her head.
"Avery, what did you do to me?" he groaned, standing up. He headed into the bathroom and said, "Oh, god," when he took one look at himself in the mirror.
Meanwhile, Avery looked like she wanted down off the bed, so Clarke set her down, noting how she picked up the brush she'd used on Bellamy, then scampered over to the dog. Picasso was such a good sport that she let Avery brush her, didn't growl or even move a muscle.
"Maybe she'll be a vet," Clarke mused.
"Hey, I wouldn't hate that," Bellamy said from the bathroom. "Vets make lots of money."
They did, more than Bellamy and Clarke would ever make combined. They got by, though, especially now that she had more students. And the school, anticipating another solid season, had given Bellamy a pretty generous raise.
They must have woken up at just the right time, because all three of them were ready to start the party when the guests started showing up. Aurora, Octavia, and Lincoln were the first ones there, mostly because Octavia insisted on having some quality time with her niece at every family get-together, before anyone else showed up. She was still on a mission to get Avery to say the name that they shared, but she still wasn't making much progress. She wasn't deterred, though, because the minute she got there, she planted herself on the couch and started in on the same old lesson.
"Oc-ta-vi-a," she kept saying over and over again, even though all she got in response were noises. "Come on, A, you got this."
"Give it up, O," Bellamy told her as he and Lincoln re-hung a few of the streamers that had fallen. "She can say about ten words now, and your name isn't one of 'em."
"Which ones is she saying?" Aurora asked.
"Ma-ma, Da-da, no—that's a big one—and kind of like a yeah sound," Clarke replied. "She kind of says Duh for dog. Bu-bu means bunny. She says hi and bye. Oh, what did she say the other night, Bellamy?"
"Sounded like go," he said. "But then she pointed to the washing machine, so . . . I don't know if she wants to go in there, but that's not gonna happen."
"Oh, she's starting to get thank you," Clarke added. "Say something nice to her, Octavia."
Her sister-in-law smiled and said, "Avery, you're super cool, just like your aunt."
"Now what do you say?" Clarke prompted her. "Someone said something nice to you. What do you say?"
Avery thought about it for a moment, then said, "Tan-too."
"You see?" Clarke exclaimed. "You hear that?"
"Uh, I think you guys are hearing things," Octavia said. "All I heard was tattoo. Your baby wants a tattoo. Well, guess what, A? Uncle Lincoln has plenty of those, and your aunt's gonna get one, too."
"No, she's not," Aurora said.
"Yes, she is," Octavia declared defiantly. "Lincoln, show her some of yours."
He rolled up his sleeve and flexed his bicep showing off one of his inked designs there, but Avery just crawled down off the couch instead of paying much attention. "She's not interested," he said.
Clarke got down on the floor with Avery and tried to clean up the mess she was already making with her toys. "She gets really sucked into these blocks," she said. "Sometimes she'll just load up an entire bucket, and then she just dumps it all back out again."
"Man," Octavia said, watching her enviously, "I wish I was so easily entertained."
The front door squeaked open, and an obnoxious voice that could only belong to Murphy bellowed, "Did somebody say something about entertainment? The party has arrived!"
"And the party's fiancée is embarrassed by him," Raven said as she came inside. "Your parents are out there, by the way. It looks like they brought a lot of gifts."
"I'll go see if they need any help," Bellamy volunteered. He and Murphy did some kind of bro handshake that Clarke just did not understand on his way out the door.
"Who else are we waiting for?" Raven asked, plopping down on the floor with Clarke and Avery. "Is your dad here?"
"No, he and Alyssa couldn't make it," Clarke said.
"Oh, is she still having bad morning sickness?"
"Yeah, but she's through the first trimester now, so that's a good sign." Like everyone in their family, Clarke was feeling cautiously optimistic that her half-sibling would make it this time.
"Good," Raven said. She took out her phone, looked through their group chat, and said, "Oh, Harper and Monty are on their way. Jasper's running late. I'm not surprised. Miller's . . . bringing a boyfriend? Ooh."
"Not just any boyfriend, either," Clarke said. "The doctor who delivered Avery."
"Oh my god, seriously?"
"Yeah." It was a small world. Or at least a small town. Apparently Miller had met Dr. Jackson at the gym, and they were really hitting it off so far.
"Well, at least you know he wasn't turned on when he was looking at your lady bits," Raven said.
"True." Although if it was really as gross as Bellamy said it was, then she was pretty sure no doctor ever got turned on.
When her mom and Kane walked in the door, accompanied by Bellamy, all three of them were loaded down with bags and boxes. "Hi, everybody," her mom greeted. "We may have gone a bit overboard with gifts."
Oh, dear God, Clarke thought, feeling like this party might run an hour or two longer than she'd anticipated.
Once everyone was there and had gotten their chance to hug and play with the birthday girl, they all gathered up in the living room and started in on the presents. Toys galore, everything from dolls to trucks, stuffed animals to monsters. Miller came through with a squishy football, which she seemed very eager to play with, and of course Bellamy had to test it out with her. He stood across the room and threw it at her, just a light, underhanded pass, and she clapped excitedly whenever it landed right on her lap.
Avery was very interested in every gift. She wasn't content to just sit there on the couch and let her parents open them for her. She wanted to do it herself, but that sometimes took her a while to figure out, especially when people had used too much tape on the packages.
"Alright, tear it. Big strong tear," Bellamy told her as she scrunched up some wrapping paper in her tiny hand. She pulled as much of it off as she could, but not enough to reveal anything. "Ooh, there you go. Good job," Bellamy said. "Here, Daddy can help you." He peeled back some of the paper and took out a book. "What do we got here? Oh, look at this, Avery," he said. "It's a princess book. Who's this from again?"
"Us," Clarke's mom said
"She'll love this. She loves books," Bellamy said. "Thank you. I'll read it to her tonight."
"Is this the most you've ever read in your life?" Octavia teased him.
"Yeah, pretty much."
Clarke took the book from him and stacked it on the crowded end table with the other gifts. "Alright, we'd better keep this moving if we ever wanna get to the cake," she said. "What's next?"
"Well, she's reaching for this one," Bellamy said, picking up a bright pink sack that said Happy Birthday on it. "Who's this from?"
"That's actually from Grandpa Griffin," Clarke's mom said.
Avery made a few noises and started to bounce and jiggle excitedly, reaching for the sack.
"Grandpa Griffin, huh? Let's see what it is," Clarke said, taking the sack from Bellamy. "Can Mommy help you with this one?"
"No," Avery said.
"No? Well, I'm gonna help you anyway." Clarke opened the sack, pushed the tissue paper aside, and pulled out the most adorable little guitar she'd ever seen. "Oh, Avery, look at this! Look what you got!" she exclaimed, kind of wanting to play with it herself. "It's a baby guitar." It had buttons instead of strings and was super light-weight and colorful. "That's so cute!"
"Does it actually make noise?" Bellamy asked, reaching over to press the largest button. A loud twanging sound emanated from the toy, and Avery must have liked it, because she started to press buttons, too. There was a twang, a yeehaw, a whistle sound . . . a whole cacophony of noise. "Oh, shit, that's gonna get annoying," Bellamy predicted. "She'll love it, though. She loves all her toys."
"Yep," Clarke agreed. Hopefully there was something that would allow them to turn the volume down on it, but other than that, it looked pretty fun. "Okay," she said, noticing that they still had a small pile of presents left to unwrap. As much as everyone loved Avery, they were looking like they needed a break. All the toys were probably starting to look the same to them, so Clarke said, "I know we still have a few more gifts left, but who's hungry? I'm hungry."
"Let's do cake, yeah," Murphy said, practically bolting to the kitchen table.
"Cake," everyone else echoed in agreement.
"Oh, here we go," Bellamy said, lifting Avery up. "You ready for this brand new dress of hers to get ruined?"
Clarke definitely wasn't, so she put not one but two bibs on Avery after setting her down in her high chair. Bellamy brought out the cake—Princess-themed, of course. What else?—and set it down in front of her, and she just stared at it confusedly, not sure what it was. He put one big candle right in the middle of it, lit it, and then everyone started to sing. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Avery! Happy birthday to you!"
"Woo!" Clarke exclaimed, bending down to kiss Avery's left cheek at the same time Bellamy kissed the right one. "Let's blow out your candle now," she said. "Here we go!" She and Bellamy blew it out for her, and Avery clapped her hands excitedly. "Yay!" Clarke said, hoping that Murphy was recording all of this. Not only was her dad going to want to see the video, but she was going to want to rewatch it over and over again herself.
Bellamy took the candle out, swiped some frosting off the bottom of it, and showed Avery that she could eat it. "Good stuff, see?" he said. "You wanna try some?"
"Oh god, she's just gonna shove her face in this thing, isn't she?" Right after Clarke said that, Avery dug both her hands into the center of the cake, grabbed two big handfuls of it, and brought her hands up to her face, smearing it all over. "Oh, there she goes."
"It's okay, I made a separate cake for all of us," Aurora assured them.
"Can we all eat it like that?" Murphy asked. "'cause that looks pretty fun."
Of course, none of them ate their cake quite like Avery did. In fact, Clarke barely ate any at all, because she was so concerned with trying to keep her daughter at least somewhat clean. They didn't want Avery to get sick, so they took the cake away from her before she had too much. Bellamy finished opening up the rest of the presents while Clarke took Avery into the bathroom to wash her up. She didn't like that one bit and threw a little bit of a temper tantrum, but once she walked out of that bathroom and was able to pounce on Picasso, she was fine.
Just as Clarke had predicted, their friends looked exhausted when it was time to leave. As much as they all loved Avery, they weren't used to the energy of a one year old for such an extended period of time. They were all practically zombies as they walked out the door, except for the grandparents, who knew from first-hand experience just how tiring it was to raise kids.
Octavia was the last to go, for as much as she insisted on being the first one to hang out with her niece at family gatherings, she also insisted on being the last one to say goodbye to her. "Bye-bye," she said, bending down so she was eye level with Avery. "Can you say bye, Aunt Oc-ta-vi-a?"
"Say bye-bye," Clarke said, rocking her sleepy little girl. "She's so tired."
"I bet you guys are, too," Octavia said.
"Oh, we're used to it by now," Bellamy told her.
"Well, nap when she naps. See you guys tomorrow."
"Bye," Clarke said.
Bellamy shut the door as soon as she was gone and sighed. "Ah, we did it."
"First birthday party in the books. Can you imagine how tiring it's gonna be when she's turning, like, twelve?"
"Oh, god," he groaned.
"That's sleepover age. Be ready."
"Well, we got a couple more years 'til then." He took Avery from her, lifted her up in the air, and said, "A couple more years."
"Yeah. I was about to say, 'Maybe she'll only wanna have a few friends over,' but then I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, she's Bellamy's kid. She's gonna be popular.'"
"Prom Queen," he smirked. "I'm calling it now. And valedictorian. 'cause she's so smart."
"We'll see." She looked at the mess in their living room—wrapping paper and bags and toys everywhere—and the mess in their kitchen, and she really didn't feel like cleaning any of it. There was one part of this very special birthday that they hadn't quite gotten around to yet, but now that it was just the three of them, the timing was right. "Hey, before we put her down for a nap, let's take her out on the beach a little bit," she suggested.
"Yeah? You think it's warm enough?"
"Oh, definitely." It was a bright, sunny day. And this one last thing that she had planned would be a lot better out there than it would be inside a house that desperately needed cleaning. "We don't have to go in the water, though."
"Alright," he said. "Beach time, Princess. Beach time before nap time. You always like that."
"You go ahead," she told him. "I'm gonna use the bathroom really quick, and then I'll be right out."
"Okay." He put Avery up on his shoulders and then ran outside making airplane noises. She laughed all the way out the door.
Alone at last, Clarke hurried upstairs to get what she needed. Picasso went with her, able to jump the baby gates while she had to step over them. Clarke went into the bedroom, knelt down, and reached underneath the bed to grab one last gift, one that she'd wrapped up last night and kept secret on purpose. Unlike the other gifts they'd gotten her, Bellamy didn't know what this one was. But he was about to.
She left the dog inside the house and headed out onto the beach to join her family. The outdoors always perked Avery up, and indeed, although she'd been about to fall asleep just a few minutes ago, now she was running around, bending down to pick things out of the sand.
"What'd you find?" Bellamy asked as he followed her around. "Is that a seashell? I think it is. You found some treasure, Avery."
"I found something, too," Clarke said, waving around the box in her hand. "One last present we forgot about."
"Where was that?" Bellamy asked.
"Upstairs."
"It's one of ours?" He looked confused. "I don't remember wrapping that."
"That's because you didn't wrap anything," she reminded him, handing the gift to him.
"Oh, true. Avery!" he called, motioning her over. "Come back over here. You got one more present." He plopped down on the sand, and Clarke sat down next to him on her knees, so excited for him to open it up and see what was inside. So excited.
Avery tripped over her own feet as she tried to run towards them, but she got herself right back up and waddled the rest of the way.
"Daddy's gonna help you open it," Clarke told her.
"Come here." He put his arm around her little waist and pulled her close as he shook the package. "Uh-oh. Feels like clothes. Sorry, kiddo."
"No, I think this one's the best present," Clarke said confidently. In fact, she knew it was. Without a doubt.
"You hear that? She's hypin' it up." Bellamy tore open the wrapping paper as Avery watched. "Let's see what we got here," he said, lifting the lid off the box. "Okay, it's . . ." He pulled out the pink and yellow onesie, holding it up. "World's . . ." He trailed off after reading the first word, then just stared at the other words in disbelief. World's Best Big Sister. It was perfect.
His eyes got wide. His hands started to shake. His mouth dropped open a bit like he wanted to say something, but all he could get out was a stunned, "Clarke?"
She could only imagine what he was feeling. It had to be similar to what she'd felt when she'd seen those two pink lines on that strip, but it had to be different for him, too.
There were tears in his eyes when he asked. "Does this mean . . ."
She nodded excitedly. "Yeah."
"She's gonna be a big sister?"
Again, she nodded, starting to cry a little now. "Yeah, she is."
"You're . . ." Bellamy set the onesie down in the box, pointed at her stomach, looking like he was about to start sobbing any minute, and just barely managed to ask, "We're having a baby?"
She had to laugh at how shocked he was, because it was adorable. "Yes, we're having a baby."
"What? No way. Come here." He immediately enveloped her in a hug, his whole body shaking with a range of emotions as he held her. "Clarke. I can't believe this."
It'd definitely happened quickly. Just two months ago, they'd made the decision to start trying, and now, here she was, eating for two again. "Are you crying?" she asked him.
"Hell yeah, I'm crying," he said. "Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so happy."
"Me, too." She'd wanted to tell him so badly all day, but this had just seemed like a more memorable way to do it, rather than just blurting it out.
"We're having a baby," he said, pulling back from the hug. As if he still couldn't believe it, he said it again. "We're having a baby?"
"Yes!" This one would probably have really dark hair and brown eyes, like him.
"And she's gonna be a big sister," he said, scooping Avery in towards his side. "World's . . . Best Big Sister," he said, shaking his head as more tears came out. "Holy crap. You're gonna be a big sister, Avery.
"Yeah, Mommy's got a baby in here," Clarke said, touching her stomach. "Maybe a little brother. Maybe a little sister."
Avery reached her hand out like she wanted to feel.
"Yeah, go ahead," Clarke said, inviting their daughter to touch her stomach. It was still flat, nothing even close to any kicks or movements yet. She wasn't far along at all, but still . . . she and Bellamy had a baby in there.
"Oh my god, Clarke," Bellamy said, putting his hand down next to Avery's on her stomach. "Is this real?"
"Yeah, it's real," she said, understanding why he felt the need to ask it. It did feel like a dream. "I took a test last night. I wanted to tell you, but I also wanted to surprise you."
"No, I'm glad you did," he said. "This is . . ." He wiped his eyes, shaking his head in amazement. "You're pregnant?'
"I'm pregnant," she said. "So I hope you don't mind going through that whole crazy process all over again, 'cause it's gonna happen."
"I don't mind. You know I don't mind." He put his arms around and hugged her again, gently hugging Avery in between them this time. "I'm so excited. I'm so happy," he said. "God, I love you. I love you so much, Clarke."
She felt that love radiating off of him, off of every inch of him. And it wasn't just for her. It was for Avery, too, and for the new baby. A brand new little piece of them. "I love you, too," she whispered as the happiest of tears streamed from her eyes and down onto her cheeks.
It was a strange feeling to be so sure, so certain that this was what the rest of their lives had in store for them. But in that moment, Clarke knew it to be true. Moments like this, feelings like this . . . this was why they were together. This was why five years hadn't been enough to keep them apart. After everything they'd been through, she wasn't naïve enough to think that every day would be as joyous as this one, but a lot of them would be. And even on the hard days, in the dark moments, the times where it felt like nothing was going right, what she had with her family would always still be there. Constantly.
"I love you so much," Bellamy said again, and she wasn't even sure who he was talking to this time. Her, Avery, the baby . . . maybe all of them. His strong, warm arms encircled them as he rejoiced and cried, never letting go. They just sat there on that beach together, holding on, being happy. All four of them.
THE END