*A/N - Sorry for the bit of delay. I was on vacation but I will be back to regular updates! Thanks to your kind comments and enjoy!

"Who?"

The word echoes in Bucky's mind.

Peggy recovers faster than he can.

"Your name is Steve. Steven Grant Rogers. Does that sound familiar to you?"

Steve shakes his head.

Bucky feels like the wind has been knocked out of him and sits down heavily. Peggy shoots him a "get it together" look and she sits primly on the edge of the bed.

"That's alright. You've been through quite a lot, it makes sense your brain is having a hard time remembering. Do you know what year it is?"

Another head shake.

"Do you know where you are?"

Another head shake.

Peggy nods thoughtfully. "Do you remember your mother's name?"

There's a hesitation this time. Bucky can see him searching for the information, but it doesn't come, just another head shake.

Bucky deflates but Peggy stays relatively cheerful. "Not a problem. We will fill you in once you're all better."

Bucky watches Peggy's eyes rove over the blackened burn streaks, bruises, and bloody irises on the man in front of her. The inspection by Peggy would have made his Steve blush, but this Steve just stares back with almost a cold glare.

Bucky's eyes follow the same pattern, Steve looks like he should be dead, the red puckered wound on the side of his head is a stark reminder that he was dead. A vice-like grip settles around Bucky's heart. It doesn't matter if Steve never remembers, he's alive, and that's enough.

—

Peggy leaves shortly after Steve falls back asleep.

"Phillips," is the only word she says before leaving, her eyes lingering on Steve's face with a pained expression. Bucky's nodding even though she's already gone. He wonders how Phillips will respond.

When she returns, she beckons him to come outside the tent. He reluctantly stands up and lets Steve out of his sight.

"Phillips about blew a gasket." She says grimly. "I think we're starting to realize more and more that none of us, even Erskine, really knew the effects of that serum." Her expression turns pained. "I want to talk to Howard about it, tell him what happened—" she takes a deep breath, and Bucky knows she's picturing Steve being shocked over and over, "and get his scientific opinion. But I wanted to ask you and see if you thought that was okay."

Her thoughtfulness about checking to see if he thought that would be invading Steve's privacy touches him.

"I think that's probably a good idea." His fingers pull at the uniform he's been in for the last 5 days. "If anyone is going to have any idea… I mean— he worked with Erskine the closest right? That's what Steve always said. The science part of it. So I think that's fine." She nods in agreement and she walks off to Howard's lab tent.

He watches Steve sleep, and dozes himself. When he wakes up a few hours later, he's disheartened to see that none of Steve's injuries have improved. Bucky looks at the burn marks and the bruising. It takes time to heal injuries this severe, even Steve, but there should be some improvement. Truthfully it looks worse.

He hears Peggy give a soft whistle and he stretches, leaving Steve alone for the second time.

"What did Howard say?"

She shakes her head and the grim set of her eyes tell him he's not going to like the answer. He looks at her and her expression turns a bit unsure. "The commandos.. I haven't— I wasn't sure. Do you… did you want me to tell them?"

"I'll tell them." He says, "they should hear it from me."

"Right, that's what I assumed as his second-in-command. I just wanted to check."

"Thanks, Peggy. Will you stay with him while I go let them know?"

Her eyes set and he knows she won't leave his side until he returns.

He heads off to find the team, trying to think of what he's going to say.

—-

He walks past Phillips' tent as the man exits. They lock eyes and the man's face turns a shade darker. He may not have been there through the torture, but he saw Steve's body hanging from those chains.

Somehow the fact that Steve's body can heal from that is a terrifying proposition. The man gives a curt nod and steps past him towards the Officer's Tent.

He keeps walking. He's about to pass the mess tent when he hears a noise.

He listens and hears 5 distinct heartbeats. He takes a deep breath and enters.

The sound of the tent flap is muffled as he enters. Dugan is sitting on the ground, up against a table, eyes closed, bottle in hands, but unopened.

Morita is laying on top of a table, arms crossed over his eyes and if Bucky's eyes are right, slightly shaking.

The rest are sitting around a table, not speaking.

Jones, who hails from their same city, has his head resting on the table.

"Um…" is all he manages to get out before Dugan is on his feet and grabbing his arms.

"I'm going." His voice is gruff with emotion. "I don't care what Phillips is going to try to say. I'm going with you back to New York. I'm helping carry that casket."

Bucky is so taken aback by his impassioned statement that he misses Morita coming up next.

"I'm going too. They can't stop us."

"We're all going." Jones says, eyes laser focused on Bucky's. "We're not leaving his body's side until he's in the ground."

Bucky chokes out a sob and Dugan misinterpretes it as grief. He pulls Bucky in and is crushing him with a hug.

"We're going with you. You won't have to do this alone. I know he didn't have any more blood family but you were his brother and I'd like to think we became his brothers too."

"Stop." Bucky gasps, "You can't"

Dugan pulls back, "can't what?"

"You can't take him to a gravesite!" His voice is desperate and he can't think.

"I don't care what Phillips says!" Dugan shouts, grabbing his shirt front and shaking him, "we'll steal a plane if we have to, we're not leaving him to be buried alone! Not after what he's done for us!" Dugan's expression is terrifying and it rips the words right out of Bucky's mouth.

"No, you can't because he's not dead!"

The room goes still. Dugan is still holding him up, his feet almost off the floor and he can hear Morita's stuttered breathing.

"Barnes." Calls Falsworth, ever the calm one. "What are you saying?"

"Steve's not dead."

Dugan drops him, almost shoving him back. "If I didn't know you loved Steve more than any of us I'd say that's a sick joke."

Morita's eyes are accusing as he points a sharp finger at Bucky. "He can't be alive. I watched that guy shove that pike into his temple and shock his dead body. You carried him home. He had no pulse!"

"I know!" Shouts Bucky, tearing at his hair, "I don't know how to explain it. One second he's dead and the next I'm hearing him gasp for air and waking up!"

They stare at him and something in his face must have them believing him because the next sound is a joyous howl out of Dugan. He's about to push past Bucky to go find Steve when Bucky remembers the other important part.

"Stop. WAIT."

The boys halt and look at him.

"He… he can't—- he doesn't…"

"He doesn't what, Sarge?"

"He doesn't remember anything."

"Anything? Like the torture?" Morita asks, eyes widening.

"No, he doesn't remember anything."

"Us?"

Bucky shakes his head.

"You?" Jones asks incredulously.

Bucky's throat tightens as he shakes his head no again.

"Not even himself." He whispers.

Denier curses something in French.

"But why?" Falsworth asks.

"I think I might have an answer for that." A new voice says. They turn towards a grim Howard Stark who stands at the opening, hands shoved into his pockets.

No one moves or speaks so Howard continues.

"Peggy just filled me in. My best guess is that when that jerk shoved that pike into his temple it obviously caused what should have been irreparable brain damage and death. But then he—" Howard's face pinches and Bucky remembers that this guy is a mechanical engineer, not a doctor, and he's not used to first-hand violence. "When he sent the last jolt of electricity through Steve, the metal was like a lightning rod and for lack of a more delicate term it fried his brain."

Someone gags, Bucky isn't sure who because he's too busy staring at Howard.

"You think…" Bucky starts.

"Will he remember eventually?" Dugan interrupts, finishing his intended question.

Howard's face morphs from pained to something more wary, shoulders shrugging.

"Listen, every time I think I understand the serum, something else happens that makes me feel like a putz. I wouldn't have thought Steve could heal the way he did from what he went through, but he did. So maybe I think he won't get his memories back, but what do I know?" He shrugs his shoulders but his eyes stay grim. And Bucky realizes this is the first time he's ever heard Howard admit to a lack of knowledge about anything scientific.

"Sergeant Barnes!" A female voice that Bucky knows very well has him running out of the tent. He almost slams into her as he dashes around the corner.

He's gripping her arms and she's wide eyed.

"What happened?"

"He's awake and—" her throat catches, "he's—"

"Peggy, what happened?" He tries to stay calm, but he can feel his heart racing.

"He was sleeping, and then he woke up, and I tried to talk to him again, but he wouldn't speak, and I asked if everything was okay, and he shook his head no."

Bucky's eyes furrow, not sure where this is headed.

"And when I asked him what was wrong he pointed down at the wound where the man stabbed him in the side, where he used it to shock and burn him?" Bucky nods, his throat tight.

"So I asked someone to go—" her voice cuts out and he can hear the commandos standing behind him, on edge. She tries again, "he got so angry, but I could tell he was scared! He doesn't know what's happening!" Her nose and eyes scrunch in anguish and he clutches at her arms to steady himself. "I need your help—"

A shout rips through the air and suddenly there's running and yelling. All their eyes turn in the direction and icy realization drips down Bucky's back at the direction it's coming from.

"Steve."

—

When he rounds the corner, he's expecting to see the tent where Steve is, he's not expecting a crumpled mess of fabric and tent poles, and he for sure isn't expecting the wake of destruction leading away from it.

He's running and his legs are moving faster than his brain. He hears footfalls behind him but he ignores them. How could he have left Steve alone? Of course he'd be confused and disoriented when he woke up. He grits his teeth and runs faster.

The obvious trail ends at a river about 2 miles outside of camp. He searches the banks of the other side but somehow Steve's muscle memory of how not to leave a trace is intact because Bucky can't tell which direction he headed. He screams at the sky and is punching his fists into a tree when hands grab his shoulders, yanking him back.

"Barnes." Falsworth says, somehow still calm, or at least pretending to be. "We need to regroup and figure out where to look."

He's numb as the group stands beside the river, watching the flow of water race over the rocks.

Someone else comes running up. A private that Bucky doesn't recognize.

"Sergeant Barnes, sir?" The private asks, saluting.

"What." He snaps.

"Mr. Stark said to tell you that Captain Rogers had been in the middle of receiving a new formula for pain when he left the camp."

"A new formula? What the hell is that supposed to mean!" Bucky snarls, sending the kid skittering backwards.

"Sorry, sir. I'm not sure, he just told you to come back so he can fill you in."

"Come back!" Bucky shouts, "and waste all that time? We need to start searching for him now."

The private just looks at him with fear clearly written across his features.

"Sarge, you gotta go." Dugan's deep voice rumbles. Bucky turns to protest but Falsworth jumps in and cuts him off.

"We will start a search grid. There's 5 of us and you know we're going to be searching each quadrant thoroughly. Whatever Howard needs to tell you might help us find him."

"Go, Sarge." Jones says, already eyeing the other side of the river. "If we find anything we'll have Denier run it back, but you'll be back searching with us in no time. So go."

Bucky stands there for a moment longer before taking off.

"I'm not waiting for you." He yells back at the Private who is standing there gape mouthed.

He doesn't hold back, now that there's no one to see him, he runs at full speed, not as fast as Steve, but fast enough.

—

He makes it back to the camp in minutes. Howard doesn't even seem to register the fact, but Peggy's face is wary.

"Weren't you by the river?" She asks, looking down at her watch.

He ignores her and turns on Howard. "What the hell did you cook up, and what did it do to Steve!?"

Howard has the wisdom to look ashamed and he holds up his hands in surrender.

"Now hold on," he says, "the formula I was working on isn't ready, and I told my assistant that, but he didn't know the difference. When Carter asked for something for his pain, the idiot didn't come ask me, he just accidentally gave him the unfinished one." Bucky can feel his anger starting to rise and he has to do everything in his power to keep his hands from reaching out and throttling the engineer. "The pain medication he gave to Steve was really powerful, too powerful. I've been overdoing it trying to figure out how to work backwards because I can't figure out how to focus it on just the pain receptors in the brain."

His teeth are grinding down hard, "I don't know what that means, Stark."

"Well, when I tested it on myself I got knocked out for a day and a half and when I came too I was really confused and had a hard time processing any information."

Bucky takes a deep breath. Howard had willingly used himself as a test subject to help Steve, however hairbrained it turned out to be. And Bucky knows Steve would be mad at him if he killed Howard, so he won't. At least not yet.

"So tell me what I need to do to find Steve."

"He's probably really confused about where and who he is, on top of the already prominent memory issues he was displaying. He probably won't be feeling pain for a while but that concerns me because his other injuries weren't healing and he's liable to hurt himself more…"

Peggy lets out a frustrated sigh. "None of that is helpful to finding him now, Howard."

"Geez, Pegs, I'm gettin' there." He tugs on his suspenders and looks at the mess of a tent surrounding them. "What's something that Steve always did as a kid?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you guys were kids, did he ever get lost?"

"Not really. We barely left our neighborhood."

"How 'bout when you played games as a kid, did he have a favorite hiding spot?"

"He always liked high places, like fire escapes or he'd hide in tight places because he could fit."

Howard's face lights up, "bingo! Our Steve's not really there right now, but his instincts are, and he can speak and move, so his brain remembers certain commands. When you go into basic instinct mode because you lack more specific information, you revert to old habits. So, I'd search for small spaces he'd try to cram himself into, or high areas like in trees."

Peggy looks skeptical, but Bucky doesn't have any other ideas, so he nods and takes off.

—

He's about halfway back to the river when Denier comes running into sight.

"Barnes!" The man calls, his eyes wild.

"What?" The fear ratchets higher and he picks up speed and Denier turns around mid stride and begins leading Bucky.

"We found him, he was-" Denier starts speaking wildly in French and Bucky only gleans the fact that Steve was somewhere high up on rocks or a cliff, he's not sure which but Denier isn't done. He's panting as he keeps repeating one word.

"Fighting. Fighting."

"Steve is fighting?"

"Yes!"

"Who?"

"Us."

Bucky starts running faster, but has to back off when he starts to pass Denier.

"Faster, Denier." He growls.

The French man is panting but just nods and picks up the pace.

—

The shout of pain is what Bucky hears first. It's only a split second later he recognizes that it's not Steve's, it's Jones'.

He crosses into a small clearing and stumbles to a stop. Steve is standing in the center, his back towards Bucky, he has blood on his fists and Jones is holding his nose and backing away.

Falsworth is unconscious on the ground, a huge bruise forming on his forehead.

Morita has a growing black eye and is favoring his left leg.

Dugan steps forward, his right arm looking stiff, in a defensive crouch but he's speaking.

"Cap, you don't have to fight us, we don't want to hurt you. You're not being captured." The calm and reasonable tone Dugan is speaking in surprises Bucky, but he listens as he continues. "Please just come back to the camp, you're hurt, we can help you."

Steve's shoulders are tense and they don't relax. Dugan takes a step forward, hands raised in surrender when Steve sees the movement and charges.

Dugan barely ducks the first blow to his face but can't avoid the punch to his gut, which has him flying backward. He sits down heavily, groaning but Steve doesn't stop. He steps closer and pulls Dugan off the ground, tossing him sideways into a tree.

"Steve!" Bucky calls out, shocked at his friend's violence.

The man doesn't respond, and Bucky curses the fact that he doesn't even know his own name.

He leaps forward, jumping onto Steve's back, trying to get him to stop attacking Dugan.

Steve tenses under him and Bucky sees his hands coming up to grab him off his shoulders. He slides down, landing on the ground and kicking at the back of Steve's knees with the heels of his feet. Steve is thrown off balance, falling backwards, but Bucky stands up, steadying him, wrapping his arms around Steve's to try to hold them down. Steve fights against the hold for a moment and he almost gets free but Bucky manages to grab onto his wrists.

The visceral growl that erupts from Steve's throat makes everyone else in the clearing still. An inhuman sound like an animal caught in a trap. Then Steve tenses as if he is expecting something to happen. It's only a half second later that Bucky realizes his mistake. Steve's wrists are still swollen, bruised, and bloody from being strung up by them in chains and he's now holding Steve tightly by them. He lets go immediately and Steve whips around to face him. Any chance of reasoning with him is gone as absolute loathing is written across Steve's features and the unfamiliar hatred from his best friend makes him step backwards. He opens his mouth to apologize but doesn't get the chance.

Steve's hands move too quickly, grabbing his shirt front and belt. He's tossed high up into the air, arching down and slamming through tree branches.

He feels his shoulder give as he lands but ignores it. He's back on his feet, pushing his shoulder back into its socket, and running back towards his friend who is facing him, fists raised. He tries to speak again but receives a heavy punch to his jaw instead. He reels backwards and falls heavily. His brain feels the slightest bit dazed from the strength of the punch. He's never been punched by Steve with any sort of brute strength and it is not a pleasant experience. He narrowly avoids a kick to his side and he scrambles to his feet. He's turning back to face him when a knee slams into his chest and his back is crashing into the ground again. He wheezes, trying to catch his breath. Only his enhanced body saving his chest from being crushed under the force. He twists around but Steve is no longer after him. He's turned back to Dugan and Morita who are standing across the way. The fear in Morita's eyes has his adrenaline spiking and brain clearing.

He runs in front of Steve, holding up his hands.

"Stop!" He cries, ducking the first two punches. "Please, just trust us," he steps backwards, Steve's eyes are clouded and blank, purely in combat mode.

Only his innate sense of how Steve fights and his enhanced speed keeps him alive.

He finally goes on the offensive and pushes Steve backwards. Steve's lip curls in rage and they truly start fighting now.

Bucky dodges, rolls, and does anything his can to avoid being killed by Steve. All while trying to talk him down.

"Stop! Please! We're on your side!"

He takes an uppercut that has his feet lifting off the ground. The cry of pain leaves his lips involuntarily. The sound has Steve hesitating for the briefest moment and Bucky doesn't miss the look of confliction that crosses his friend's face.

Something like hope flashes as Bucky's mind races. He continues to fight and speak to Steve, trying to convince him to stop fighting but he waits for his next chance.

Finally Steve throws a kick that he could dodge, but he doesn't, taking the full force to his already bruised chest. He bellows out in pain, falling to the ground and clutching at his ribs.

As he hears Steve step closer he makes another anguished cry of pain and scrunches his eyes closed.

He can hear Steve's heartbeat going wild, and he waits for the next blow, but it doesn't come. He barely opens one eye and sees Steve standing there, still in an attack position, but stock still. His eyes are glassy, clutching at his head.

"Steve?" He says softly. Bucky grimly admits it's probably the sound that draws his friend's attention more than the actual name but Steve's eyes find his. Bucky can see the cloudiness in his friend's mind. "Steve, I know you're confused, but it's me, your best friend. I don't want to fight you, and I know you, you don't want to hurt us. In fact, you've done everything you can to keep us from getting hurt. So please, just come back to camp with us and we'll get it sorted out."

Bucky takes in his friend's appearance. His chest exposed except shreds of the blue uniform they hadn't even changed him out of yet. Bare footed and if his skin isn't bruised or burnt it was bleeding. Something shiny on Steve's hip reflects sunlight and Bucky realizes it's a piece of shrapnel poking out of Steve's skin from the initial grenade explosion. His jaw clenches and he tries to ignore it, dragging his eyes back to Steve's face.

"Steve." He says again, more commanding. "You need medical attention. And we're not leaving you until you come with us. You're our Captain. We're your team." Steve stares at all of them. Something crosses his face and it has Bucky speaking without thinking.

"None of us are going to fight you." He kneels, hands at his side, completely defenseless. If Steve wanted to, he could snap Bucky's neck with his speed and strength without him being able to stop him. He hears the others follow suit, kneeling behind him in a v formation. They wait, defenseless in front of one of the most lethal men in the world. Bucky hears their steady heartbeats and it calms him, they'll wait as long as Steve needs.

Not more than a minute later, Steve is moving from an offensive attack position to a relaxed position. His hands fall to his sides and he stands there, uncertainty crossing his features.

Bucky breathes out a quiet sigh of relief and he hears the others do the same.

He doesn't move just yet. "Do you believe us?" He asks. Steve stares at him, and only gives him the briefest of nods. "Are you in pain?" Bucky eyes Steve's battered body and can't imagine the amount of healing it will take to return it to normal. Steve's head shakes no and he hears Falsworth sigh in disbelief.

"Okay, we'll I think that's the pain medication talking, but you need help. Will you let us take you back to camp?"

Steve hesitates, he looks at them and his inspection is strange because there's no recognition of them in his gaze. But he nods in agreement and Bucky breathes out.

"I'm going to stand up now, okay?" Bucky says, shifting his weight so he can pull himself up. He's stiff and sore but he manages to stand up straight. The others follow and they step cautiously forward.

"We're your team." Bucky explains, pointing to each one. "I'm your second in command, Barnes. This is Dugan, Falsworth, Morita, Jones, and Denier. You're Captain Rogers and we work as a special unit out of the Strategic Scientific Reserve." He watches as Steve's eyebrows furrow and he remembers what Howard said about having a hard time processing information. "We'll tell you more when we get back to camp. Will you let us help you walk back?"

Steve hesitates but then nods. Relieved, Dugan and he step up beside him and take his arms over their shoulders. It isn't until they're helping him walk back to camp that he feels Steve's muscles shaking. He tries to not touch any burn marks or wounds but there isn't much space.

They hobble back to camp, receiving strange looks as they drag Steve to his and Bucky's tent. They set him down on his bed, leaving him to a doctor and Howard who has appeared looking a little green at the sight of Steve's body.

Dugan pulls Bucky from the tent roughly, shoving him further and further away out of Steve's earshot. Bucky's about to protest when Dugan's hand clenches his upper arms hard.

"What!" Bucky snaps.

"Has he spoken?"

Bucky is thrown off. "What?"

"Has Steve spoken?"

Bucky thinks back, "uh, just once, when he first woke up." Dugan's eyes flash black and his face twists. "What?" He asks again, more confused, why?"

"He's not speaking." Dugan says again.

Maybe it's the complete lack of sleep and emotional rollercoaster he's been on for the past five days but Bucky is still lost. "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me, Dugan."

Dugan growls and shakes him. "I thought it was strange at first when we were fighting with him. Even with Steve being as strong as he is, usually when we land a punch during sparring he does something— grunt or groan or cuss even. Morita got him good on his knee and nothing. I landed a punch to his gut before you got there and zip. It was the first time seeing him after he woke up, so I wasn't sure until I asked you."

Now Bucky's confused and annoyed. "Dugan, I swear—" Dugan growls and shakes him again.

"He's not making any noises, Sarge."

"Huh?"

"He. Isn't. Making. Any. Noise." Each word is punctuated by Dugan, nailing the thought to Bucky's brain and making him choke.

"Oh. Oh—"

"Yeah." Dugan's face is grim.

"But he did speak." Bucky says a bit desperately.

"Yeah, one word, right after he woke up from being dead. But you said you asked him questions after and he didn't know you or us?" Bucky nods. "But did he use words?"

"No…" Bucky says slowly. Then something occurs to him, "but wait. He made that horrible sound when I was holding him during the figh—" Bucky sucks in a breath mid-sentence. "After he made that sound I felt him tense, like he was expecting to get shocked." Bucky gags. "Why the hell does he remember that?"

"I'm not sure if it's a conscious thought. Remember after the last time that bastard asked him to switch? That was when Steve stopped speaking completely. For hours Steve refused to make a sound and I think that thought got burned into his brain. Noise equals pain."

Bucky rips himself out of Dugan's grip and turns away, running back towards the tent.

He bursts through the opening and sees Steve, sitting on a cot in just his underwear, his uniform a shredded heap on the floor. The doctor is looking over him, using a cloth to clean off 6 days of dirt, grime, and death. Peggy stands in the corner, her face unreadable. Phillips is standing next to her, eyeing Steve warily.

"Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers doesn't seem able to explain what took place. Do you care to report what happened?"

"A new medicine caused a problem and Captain Rogers had a misunderstanding. He left camp, and we found him and brought him back." Bucky says crisply.

"Care to explain why Falsworth has a concussion, Morita has a sprained knee, Jones has a broken nose, Dugan's shoulder is pulled and you look like a human punching bag?"

"No."

The answer gets a raised eyebrow out of Phillips but nothing more.

"I've finished the initial assessment." The doctor says quietly, handing a clipboard to Phillips. "I'll be back for the procedure in just a moment."

"Procedure?" Bucky asks.

"Shrapnel." Peggy says, eyes not moving from where they're glued, the wound on Steve's temple.

Bucky walks closer to Steve, sitting on the cot opposite which is his own bed.

"Hello." He says, and waits for a response, but Steve just stares at him. Phillips makes a disquieting sound at something written on the clipboard. Bucky ignores the disruption, but he watches as Steve stares openly at him. "Are you okay if we call you Steve?"

He looks back to Bucky and nods. Bucky smiles, trying to exude calm.

"Okay, great. Steve. My name is James Buchanan Barnes. You've always called me Bucky, but you can call me whatever you'd like. Is there anything you want us to know?"

When Steve doesn't respond, Peggy makes a small distressed sound in her throat and he can tell she's already guessed the reason behind Steve's lack of vocal communication. She's trying to stay composed and failing miserably.

Something in Steve's eyes shifts as he stares at Peggy in the corner. The admiration and shy adoration that is usually present in them, reserved for Peggy, is gone.

The doctor renters, a medical kit in hand.

"I've been informed that there isn't any anesthesia available." He says quietly.

Phillips nods and Bucky grits his teeth. "What about the other pain medication Howard mentioned? Can't he have something?"

"We're worried about it having the same mental effects as the last one." Phillips says, a strain in his voice that Bucky isn't used to hearing.

Bucky stands up. "After all he's been through we're just going to let him be in more pain?" The words are harsh and a little sharp but he can't believe that Steve is about to go through more suffering. Phillips opens his mouth to respond when a hand grabs Bucky's forearm. He turns quickly, his brain going a bit fuzzy from the motion and lasting effects of Steve's punch.

Steve is standing now, his bruised and battered body even more on display in just his underwear. A particularly bad burn streak running around his right thigh and running down to his ankle makes Bucky clench his fists. It's been almost three days since the last shock. Why isn't the serum healing these?

He finally meets Steve's eyes, and although there's no recognition, there is something calm in them, even with the blown out blood vessels coloring the blue a strange hue. The hand releases his forearm and Steve sits back down, laying onto his back and motioning for the doctor to start.

Peggy and Bucky stay through the whole thing, unwilling to leave Steve's side. Each shred of shrapnel that can be found is removed. Every burn is treated and wrapped if possible, every large gash is stitched closed and all the bruising is inspected for internal bleeding.

Bucky watches as Steve refuses to make even a single sound through the whole thing. His face stays impassive, and Bucky almost believes that maybe the pain medication is still working until he notices bloody tears drop out the side of his eyes and down into his hair. His hand reaches out without hesitation and grasps Steve's.

"I'm sorry." He rasps. "It's almost over." He looks up and the doctor and his voice gets quieter. "It's almost over right?"

"Yes, Captain Rogers is almost done." Steve's hand crushes his when the wound on his temple is examined and Bucky says nothing as he feels his pinky finger crack under the pressure.

"Okay. We're done." He doctor wipes the last bit of flood from his hands. "Captain, would you like a report?"

Bucky curses internally. This was something Steve had requested when he found out the doctor's didn't always tell him everything, just reporting to Phillips or whoever was in charge. Steve hated not knowing what was happening to him, so he'd requested the doctors to keep him informed.

Before Bucky can protest, Steve is nodding yes and the doctor speaks.

"The burns on your body have caused severe nerve and skin damage. Hopefully the serum will heal that, but so far I haven't seen much improvement. The stab wound to your side nicked a rib and there are some internal burns where the electricity burned around the knife. The bruises circling your shoulders and focused mainly under your shoulder blades and arms show indications of massive muscle tears and swelling." The doctor rubs at his eyes, trying to hide his distress, but all three of them watch as he wrings the cloth wrapped around his hands. "The temple wound is troubling as I can see that it's still an open wound and that concerns me about the possibility of infection along with the burnt and damaged tissue surrounding the area, since it doesn't seem to be healing too much. From the feel of your wrists, they have multiple fractures from the pressure put on them, and it seems like the serum was trying to heal them as you were still hanging from them, but they kept cracking from the weight of your body on them, and healing wrong. You can see the angle of them and your hands is off. They… they will have to be rebroken and set once the swelling around them has gone down." Peggy's eyes are closed, her face pinched. "Your eyes should heal—" he cuts himself off and retries. "Your eyes should be healing. The blood vessels are burst but the blown out pupils do look like they've returned to somewhat of a normal size in comparison to when I first examined your—" He's about to say body, but stops himself. "You— when I first examined you."

"Why isn't the serum healing him?" Peggy asks, her voice hoarse. Steve is staring a bit too blankly at the tent wall.

"I'm not sure," the doctor says, sympathy written across his face, "it could be that his body is prioritizing wounds, focusing most likely on his brain first. He needs rest to give his body time and to keep his strength up."

Bucky gasps, standing straight up and scaring the doctor from the sudden motion. "Peggy." He says sharply, "when was the last time Steve had any food. Or water?"

Her eyes grow wide. "He gave his last ration to Denier before we got sidetracked. That was…" she swallows, her voice thick as she stares at Steve who is just sitting there with no emotion on his face. "That was over 7 days ago."

—-

*A/N - I hope you are enjoying this story! I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts!