They both look at Steve who shows no indication of hearing them.

"How could we not have thought of this!" Peggy half growls as she throws herself out of the tent, heading for the mess hall. Bucky orders the doctor to stay with Steve until they return.

"And he just beat the crap out of us, half drugged. After being tortured for 30 hours and dead for 2 days. I don't understand how he can still be functioning."

Peggy glances back at their tent and sighs. "I'm not sure I would call that functioning. But I understand the sentiment. Has he remembered anything?"

"No." He sighs. "But…"

"But what?"

"He did pause." Bucky wipes under his nose, "when we were fighting and he landed a good hit and it made me cry out. Hurt like hell by the way. And when he kicked me the next time I really played it up and Steve stopped. Like he didn't like the sound of me being hurt, it helped me get through to him. So I don't know what that means. Maybe he remembers me, maybe he just doesn't like the sound of people getting hurt."

"But he didn't speak."

"You've guessed why?"

Her face pinches as they enter the mess tent. "Yes, I'm very much aware of why he might not want to make any noise."

They don't comment on that further as they gather any food the cook will let them take. They beg and plead and say it's for Captain America which just gets them an eye roll, but he finds an extra can of pears and a chocolate bar in his hands so he knows it must have been somewhat of a successful plea.

They walk back with arms full of rations. Bucky spots the commandos sitting in a circle around a fire, close to the tent. They nod at him and he nods back. If he needs them, he'll call.

Steve is asleep when they return and the Doctor is sitting there, staring at a particularly bad burn on his chest that they couldn't wrap. He looks up as they enter and nods his goodbyes, whispering that he'll be back in a few hours to check on him.

Bucky stares at his best friend and sets the food down quietly. "Should we wake him?"

The silence from Peggy lets him know that she's not sure. Is it better for him to sleep or to eat? "I think—" She starts. "He can sleep after he eats. I feel like getting nutrients into his body is our best bet."

Bucky nods and shifts forward, touching Steve's arm. Suddenly he's in the air, a hand around his throat and squeezing his neck. Blank eyes stare up at him and he struggles to get his fingers under Steve's grasp to loosen the hold.

"Steve!" Peggy cries out, "Let go! We're not here to hurt you!" When the grip doesn't loosen she throws herself in between Bucky and Steve, whose one arm is raised, keeping Bucky off the ground.

"Steve, look at me. We are your friends. We're sorry for startling you awake. But Bucky can't breathe. You are killing him." She glances behind her and Bucky's blue tinted face is all she needs to set her hands against Steve's bare chest, carefully avoiding the large burn streaks. "Please, Steve. Please let him go."

Something in her tone has him listening, but Steve doesn't set him down, he drops him. Bucky's legs give under the weight and he stumbles backwards, sitting down heavily and coughing. He drags in air and his throat burns from the effort. Peggy is calmly pushing Steve back down onto the cot. Once he sits back down, his eyes a bit far away, Bucky notices the dark circles under them.

Bucky coughs a couple more times and shakily stands up, walking over to the food. He finds a tin cup and fills it with water, draining it in one gulp. He refills it and brings it over to Peggy who is putting together a plate of food. The cool water does help soothe his throat a bit and he sits back down on the cot opposite Steve.

The man's eyes glance at him, but there is no thought behind them.

"Steve," Peggy says lightly. "We've brought you some food." She holds out a tin plate of canned pears, a can of meat with carrots, and a biscuit.

Steve's nose wrinkles at the food and he leans back. The color drains from Peggy's face. He should be starving, not wanting to eat is a bad sign.

"Steve." Bucky's voice is hoarse from his crushed wind pipes. "You have to eat."

He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. The universal sign for Steve unwilling to change his mind.

"Okay," Peggy says calmly, seeing the same stubbornness that Bucky was, "How about some water?" She holds out the tin cup and waits for him to take it.

"Your body needs water and food to heal. The serum—" Steve's eyebrows furrow, "needs help right now. You need a lot of extra food and water and your body hasn't had any for over a week."

Steve sits there, and Bucky is almost sure he's going to refuse to drink, but then his hand is reaching out and taking the cup, a slight tremor to it. He sips at it at first but then is gulping it down. When he holds it out, his eyes pleading for more, Bucky is thrusting the whole canteen into his hands and Steve drains it quickly.

"Okay," Bucky huffs, adrenaline at this small victory coursing through him. "You need to slow down, I don't want you throwing the water back up." Steve nods slowly, but Bucky can see just the glimmer of life setting into his eyes. "Will you try a little bit of food now?"

He nods and Peggy takes the biscuit, breaking it into small pieces and slowly handing a piece to Steve. He chews and tries to swallow, but something causes him to wince and he begins coughing, blood sprays out of his mouth and onto Peggy's uniform and outstretched hand. She recoils in surprise as Steve keeps coughing, struggling against the dry biscuit and blood that now drips from his chin.

Bucky grabs a rag from their wash bowl and is trying to wipe the blood off Peggy but she points at Steve whose cough is settling. He hands the rag to Steve who begins roughly wiping at his own face. Another canteen is found and Steve takes a swig from it, gently swishing it in his mouth and spitting it back into the tin cup. Bucky doesn't have to look at it to see the red hue.

"What happened?" He wonders. Steve looks at them, almost guiltily, and then opens his mouth, gently stretching his tongue out. Peggy gasps and Bucky barely keeps from gagging. Steve's tongue is half healed, a large cut across the top and bottom, biscuit crumbs stuck in between the muscle, leaking blood from where he bit it while being shocked, the teeth marks clearly visible.

"Oh," is all Bucky can think to say when he regains his composure.

"Take another swish of water." Peggy commands gently. "Then let's try something a bit less dry. I'm sure your tongue hurts quite a lot, but without food you will have a hard time healing it."

Steve nods slowly, and follows her command, swishing mouthfuls of water until it finally runs clear. Then she's handing him slices of canned pear and he's eating that, slowly chewing and swallowing, avoiding his tongue as much as possible. She opens up the can of meat that she has deemed wet enough to eat and starts to hand it to him, but Steve shakes his head.

"You're full?" She asks, disbelievingly. Steve shakes his head, putting his hand over his mouth and nose. Bucky's eyes alight on the can.

"It's the smell, it's too strong for him." She shuts the can immediately and searches for something else.

—

Steve sleeps more restfully that night, and he eats a lot more food the next morning. For the next two days he drinks water, eats copious amounts of food, and sleeps. Bucky only leaves his side twice. Once to change out of his now disgusting uniform and shower, and the other to update the commandos who slept around their fire outside Steve's tent.

—-

On day three Bucky wakes up alone in the tent. He stretches and reaches for his uniform shirt. When he notices Steve's cot is empty.

He bolts out of bed and flies out of the tent, spotting the commandos, all sleeping peacefully on their bed rolls. By the look of the sun it's barely past dawn. Steve was always an early riser, and Bucky mentally kicks himself for sleeping. He should have been trading shifts with someone to keep an eye on his amnesiac friend.

He takes off in a trot, passing a few sleepy soldiers on his way around the camp. It's only when he's come full circle that panic begins to set in. He wakes the commandos.

"Steve's missing."

They are on high alert immediately.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Last night."

"What was he wearing?"

"Just his army uniform pants, the doctor didn't want him covering his wounds yet."

"Alright men," Dugan calls out, "Search high and low, find the Captain and send a runner when you do."

They take off running, and Bucky can hear them calling out Steve's name. The rest of the camp is starting to rouse when Bucky finally catches the sight of a foot, hanging from a tree branch high above him.

—-

"Steve?" He calls as he nears the tree trunk that Steve is sitting up in.

Healed blue eyes stare down at him. He reaches for a branch to pull himself up when he hears a crack. Steve hangs down, letting go of the branch and landing gracefully with a soft thump on the ground next to him.

Bucky takes an involuntary step back. Something about the way Steve moves reminds him of a deadly predator and he can't help the tingle of fear that runs up his spine. The commandos haven't pointed to the gruesome hand shaped bruise on his neck, but he knows they've seen it.

"So, I guess you're feeling better?"

Steve straightens and wipes the bark off his hands. Bucky notices the dog tags that are now hanging from Steve's neck. Surprise flits through him, Steve doesn't usually like to wear them under his Captain's suit because they sit tight against his chest and the uniform is a dead giveaway for his identity anyways. He says nothing as Steve catches him staring at them.

Bucky stays a foot behind Steve as they return to camp. The burns and bruises are healing. He can see the marked improvement already even just from 10 hours ago. It's still a gruesome sight, but Bucky can't help but feel relieved that the serum is working as it should. He rubs some warmth into his fingers before asking.

"Hungry?"

Steve nods and Bucky leads him through the tree line and back into the camp.

Everyone they pass stares at them. Bucky grimaces but he doesn't fault them. Steve was never one to show off. And as far as Bucky knows, Steve's never walked around in less than full dress or uniform. So the sight of him shocks the other soldiers.

He glances at Steve. The purple, green, and yellow bruises blossoming from under his arms and around his back are the most eye-catching, but the dark black thick webs of burns and the puckered red wound on the side with the emmenating burn marks are real lookers too.

He thinks the soldiers are looking on in pity but soon realizes there's a sense of fear. His eyes study Steve again and he can't help noticing how huge Steve seems. His muscles, height, and now his dead stare are intimidating the other soldiers into backing away. The wounds that would have killed any other man are in stark contrast to the pale skin that surrounds them. He shakes off their fear and his own as he tells a young private to find Dugan and tell him to meet them at the mess tent.

Bucky leads Steve there, sits him down at a table and makes the motion for him to stay.

He runs over, thankful that the breakfast line is open and loads up two trays with more food than he thinks four normal guys could eat. He hauls the trays back to Steve and points at it. Steve obliges easily and begins eating. Barely pausing to breathe as he inhales his entire tray.

The commandos arrive shortly after, worry on their faces turning to shock at the sight of Steve, shirtless, wounds on display, dog tags dangling, as he shovels food into his mouth.

—

Bucky doesn't end up eating much, giving his portion to Steve who eats it without question. Something he would have refused to do before. The thought makes him a bit wary. How many times has Steve been still hungry and refused to ask for more?

The commandos are attempting a normal conversation, but eyeing Steve as often as they get the chance. He still hasn't said a word and when Morita asks him a direct question that is met with a dead stare, Bucky finds himself standing up and telling them he'll be right back. The glare he sends Jones makes it clear that Steve isn't to be left alone. Jones nods.

—

He's running. Past the outer rim of camp, past the trees, back to the river, back to the same tree he was punching when Steve first went missing.

He's bleeding and his knuckles groan at him but he doesn't stop. He's seen Steve do this, after a particularly bad mission, or when he's stressed and refuses to let anyone help. The thick crack that sounds through the clearing has him pausing, he looks up and jumps out of the way as the tree comes crunching down, branches slamming into the earth and sending pine needles flying.

He lets out a growl of frustration and sits down on the trunk of the now horizontal tree.

If it was me he'd be by my side every instant. Bucky grimaces, hands running through his hair and resting in his hands. He said he was fine with Steve being alive, it was enough and it was. Steve being alive is enough.

He says that to himself over and over. It doesn't matter if he never remembers. It doesn't matter if he never laughs at another one of Dugan's jokes, or smiles at Peggy shyly, or comes to Bucky for advice about a lot of things. It doesn't matter.

Then why does he feel so angry?

A heartbeat and boots makes Bucky look up. He watches as Falsworth enters the clearing.

"Everything okay?" Bucky asks, suddenly worried Steve has run off again.

"I think I should be asking you that question." The man says calmly.

"Is Steve okay?" Bucky snaps, not taking the bait.

"He's fine." Falsworth pauses and he shrugs, "Or he was when I left."

Bucky stands up, walking back to camp. Falsworth reaches out and grabs his shoulder.

"Barnes, if you need anything, you know the rest of us are here for you."

"What could I need?"

"Barnes."

"Monty, just don't." Bucky gripes.

"I know I wasn't there but—"

"You're right!" Bucky snaps, "You weren't there. You didn't see what they did to him. You didn't hear your best friend scream for hours, hours, Monty, and you didn't watch as the man asked Steve to trade places with each one of us, and hear him refuse, over and over even when he knew he was going to get electrocuted again." His voice is breaking but he can't stop. He's so angry, the rage at everything that happened, boiling over. "You didn't see him get stabbed and then watch as Steve gave up making any noise altogether even as the man burned him alive from the outside in!" Bucky reaches down and grabs a rock, throwing it hard towards the river. "You didn't watch as the man pierced Steve's skull and then shock him again just 'for good measure'." Repeating the words makes Bucky sick and he gasps for air, feeling his throat tighten and eyes start to water.

Hands are grasping his shoulders, but he shoves them away. He hits the ground with his knees and cries, Falsworth says nothing, just sits next to him, his hand reassuringly on Bucky's shoulder.

After a few minutes Bucky wipes his eyes. "You want to know what the worst part is?"

Falsworth eyebrows raise in question.

"I selfishly wish he remembered all of it, just so he would remember me."

He looks down, avoiding whatever reaction Monty has to his words.

—-

His eyes are dry when he walks back into camp.

He walks to his tent to find Steve inside. He's staring at all the art that is hanging, tacked against the canvas. He gestures at them in question and Bucky responds.

"These are yours. You're an artist, or you were going to be before you joined the army. You were going to art school."

Steve just listens, not acknowledging his words. Then he lays down and closes his eyes, falling asleep quickly, his breath evening out.

Bucky stares at the photo that Steve was staring at when he walked in, a sketch of Erskine, wearing a doctor's coat and smiling.

—

The memory flashes forward. He can still hear the heartbeats of the others in the room, and some part of him is curious how long they've been sitting there. But no one is stopping him and he's not finished, so he continues.

—

It is 11 days after Steve wakes up from being dead that Bucky thinks they make a breakthrough.

Steve's body is almost completely healed and Bucky asks if he wants to go for a run. Running was something Steve has loved to do ever since the serum. Before, he could barely go a mile before collapsing, now he could run for hours without breathing hard and he always loved to run ahead of the commandos and circle pack, getting rid of extra pent up energy that the serum supplied him with when he was well fed and rested.

Steve nods and they start off at a leisurely pace. When Bucky notices that Steve wants to go faster he picks up the speed, Steve falling into step. Something in his mind tells him that he's never actually tested his speed out against Steve's and he's just the tiniest bit curious.

After a few miles he puts on more speed, and more, Steve matching his stride at every turn. Eventually they start to curve so they can make a wide circle around the camp. They're crashing through the forest and winding in and out of trees, leaping fallen logs, and dodging low hanging branches, while still trying to maintain their break neck speed.

They come flying out of the tree line and back onto a dirt road. Bucky almost trips over his own feet when he sees a smile across Steve's face, a determined grin that Bucky hasn't seen in almost 2 weeks. He feels his own face break into a smile and spurs on faster, trying to keep up.

The camp is in sight when Bucky knows he's going to lose. His lungs have been burning for the last 3 miles and his muscles are protesting every move. Steve hasn't slowed down at all and he's almost three lengths ahead.

He slows down even more, not wanting to be seen going too fast, the memory of Peggy questioning him about the river crossing his mind. He watches as Steve crosses the boundary of camp and past the first tent, he hears a deep laugh of joy that has him sliding to a stop in shock.

His eyes freeze on Steve, who he watches flinch involuntarily at the sound he's just made. When no pain is forthcoming, he watches Steve relax ever so slightly and roll his shoulders, releasing the tension from the hard run. Bucky lopes over to him and gently pats him on the shoulder, pretending he didn't see.

"You got me beat, Steve." He says, "Not that there was any question. Not since the serum." He watches as Steve's eyebrows pull downward. He looks at Bucky and he can see the questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn't know what the question is.

—

"He laughed." He whispers to Peggy. She straightens at the words and pulls him further away from the crowd of soldiers.

"Tell me." She orders. He tells her about their run and how when Steve got back to camp he let out a laugh. He doesn't leave out the part about Steve flinching, expecting the pain, her face goes dark at this, but then he shakes her gently and reminds her that this is a step in the right direction.

"He made a noise and nothing happened. Now that's the third time. Eventually he's going to accept that he can speak without pain." Bucky lets his own words fill him with a glimpse of hope.

"I know. You're right. I just have never heard him be silent for so long before, it's eerie."

"Tell me about it."

—

He wakes up, on the 14th day to a horrendous groan. He's out of bed and at Steve's side in an instant.

"Steve? What's wrong?" Bucky has no time to be happy about the fact that Steve is making noise, because his friend is kneeling on the ground, hands clutching at his head and sweat pouring down his body. "Steve, talk to me, what's happening!" The panic is evident in Bucky's voice as his adrenaline races.

When another anguished groan splits the air and Steve crumples forward, Bucky shoots up and runs out of the tent.

"MORITA!" He shouts, hoping that they're still sleeping in the tent closest to them. He hears a shuffling and suddenly a dazed and groggy Morita is stumbling out of his tent.

"Barnes?"

"Wake the others, it's Steve. Get Peggy, get Howard, and get the doctor. NOW."

He rushes back into the tent, grateful that Howard had just returned last night from a trip back to New York. He'd had to fly back to deal with some business issues, but he also promised to bring back any relevant paperwork and supplies to help Steve's condition.

Steve hasn't moved from his fetal position on the ground, and Bucky grabs a blanket, covering him as he shivers. The amount of sweat is troubling because it takes a lot for him to need to sweat.

Footsteps come flying into the tent and he's being ushered back and pushed aside as more knowledgeable hands join the scene. Steve is gently pulled back up onto the bed and examined for any external triggers. When none are found, he hears the doctor and Howard whispering. After an eternity, Steve quiets down and falls back asleep.

"What happened?" Bucky asks as he follows Howard out of the tent. The commandos wait anxiously around a fire.

"I think… and the doc agrees, that it's his brain."

"What about his brain?" Peggy asks sharply.

"It's healing. But after what it's been through, I don't think it's always going to be a pleasant experience." He winces at his own words but Bucky just stares.

"Healing?"

"Yeah."

"Like he'll remember? That kind of healing?"

"Hard to say."

"Well do say something, Howard." Peggy huffs.

"I think that it can. Heal, I mean. But the brain is a tricky beast even before having a super soldier serum running through it. Maybe he will remember it all, or maybe he'll remember some, and maybe…" He doesn't say it but they can fill in the blanks, maybe he'll remember nothing.

—-

Bucky walks back to the tent and is surprised to see Steve sitting up, panting a bit, eyes clenched.

"Steve, is the headache back?"

"Just a little." Steve says hoarsely.

Bucky freezes, he wasn't expecting a verbal answer, which is why when it comes he inhales sharply, causing Steve to look up at him.

"You—" he doesn't know how to say it. "You're talking?"

Steve's eyes pinch again, a wave of pain coursing through him.

"What can I do?" Bucky asks, now hopeful that if Steve is talking, he'll never stop.

"Water." Is all Steve can manage to get out, but it's all Bucky needs. He grabs the canteen, unscrews it and gently places it in Steve's hands. He manages a few swallows before he's grabbing at his hair again.

—-

The headaches happen at random. Catching Steve off guard and causing him to go into a blank state, as if trying to escape from the pain.

After one headache causes Steve to trip and slam his head on the side of a wooden crate, leaving a new bruise and nasty cut, the commandos assign a watch schedule so that Steve is never out of eye sight.

—-

Morita quietly mentions that it's been three weeks since Steve woke up. Bucky grits his teeth, he doesn't need a reminder.

—

On the 24th day, Bucky begins to realize that something is very wrong.

He's been letting hope grow in his heart as the days pass. While each headache is a horrible experience to watch Steve suffer through, each one brings about changes in Steve that Howard and Peggy agree to be improvements.

He speaks more and more, no longer winces at his own sounds, and even moves about camp as if he knows where everything is. His wounds, other than the tiny spot on his temple, are healed and gone and he is back to running every morning.

But something is off.

The man who is returning to normalcy, is not the man that Bucky grew up with.

He watches as Steve walks, talks, and begins to act like every other soldier around him.