Tony wakes up from his half-sleep, dozing in the lab, to Friday saying something.
He scrubs his eyes and stretches. "What was that, Friday?"
"You told me to wake you after a full 3 hours of sleep." She states.
"Oh. Thanks, Fri."
He's scrubbing his eyes when the AI speaks again, her voice coming through the comms with a sense of urgency. "Boss?"
"Yeah?"
"Does Captain Rogers have a mission or appointment today?"
Only feels his adrenaline spiking and he doesn't even know why yet. "No, why?"
"Captain Rogers left the premises almost an hour ago."
Tony bolts up off his stool. "Left? Left where? With who?"
"Of his own accord. The tracker in his Shield is currently displaying his location." Security footage pops up of Steve driving his motorcycle through the front gate and out onto the open road. Tony can't think, something like terror coursing through him as his brain screams that the last time Cap left on his own was under the guise of a therapy appointment that had ended in his capture.
"Alert the team, I'm going after him."
He takes one step, grabs his gauntlets and steps onto the platform, The suit envelopes him and he's through the opening in the ceiling in less than 30 seconds.
—
Natasha is curled up on the common room couch, her toes stuck under Bucky's thigh, as it was warm and she gravitated towards warmth like a cat. Clint is on the kitchen stool eating some sugary cereal when Friday's voice pops over the comms.
"Mr. Stark asked me to inform the team that Captain Rogers left the premise and that Mr. Stark was going after him."
Natasha blinks and Bucky is gone, the stairwell door swinging on its hinges.
Her and Clint stare at each other for one second before sprinting after him.
Bruce, who was in the library, agrees to stay behind in case they need someone at base.
—
Tony is flying through the air, his speed increasing as Steve's seems to accelerate ahead of him.
"Why did I make that motorcycle so damn fast…" He mutters, annoyed. He snaps at Friday on the comms. "Why didn't you tell me when he left?"
She sounds miffed when she answers. "You did not place that alert in my current protocols. And I believe you wouldn't have noticed his absence for a while unless I had informed you when you woke up."
He's surprised at her response, and he shuts up, realizing she's correct.
—-
It takes him almost 30 minutes to catch up with the motorcycle. He blasts ahead and tries to fly close enough to get the man's attention but not startle him.
It only takes Steve a second to notice his presence and the motorcycle decelerates until it rolls to a stop. The Iron Man armor clunks onto the ground, in front of the handlebars.
"Tony?" Steve asks, blocking the rising sun from shining in his eyes with his hand, 'is everything okay? Did something happen?"
Tony's faceplate retracts. "You tell me? You okay?"
Steve's brow furrows, "um… yeah?"
"Where you going?"
"Just for a drive," Steve huffs. He's about to speak again when the Quinjet goes roaring overhead, passing them and looping around, landing in the field next to them and powering down. Natasha, Bucky, and Clint are out, running towards them, a bow in Clint's hands and his quiver on his back. Steve glances at Tony, looking more confused and now a little annoyed, "what's going on?"
Clint and Natasha approach, stopping just feet from them. "What's going on?" Natasha asks, her eyes staring at Steve with concern. Bucky looks positively on edge.
Steve huffs and throws his hands up in the air, still sitting on the seat of the motorcycle, "that's what I would like to know! What is going on?"
"You left the compound." Tony says slowly, swallowing with a dry throat.
"Yeah, and?" His clear confusion about their reaction reminds them just how much of his memories are missing.
"Did someone contact you?" Natasha asks, "Anyone ask you to meet them?"
"No." There's silence after his response and he glares at them, "guys, what is going on? You're acting like I'm not allowed to leave the compound." The tiny glance between Tony and Natasha has his shackles raising. "If you guys don't tell me what's going on right now." He stands up, kicking the kickstand into place to hold his bike. "Why are you guys acting like this? Why can't I leave on my own? What did I do?"
"It's not what you did, Steve." Bucky says, his face pinched, "It's what happened the last time you did."
The agitation in Steve's voice grows, "which is what?" He looks at each of them, his captain's face in place. "You need to tell me. I feel like I've been patient, waiting for you guys to be ready to tell me. But this is ridiculous. It can't be that bad." He says, his hand waving, out in a motion of disbelief. "You told me I didn't hurt any civilians, so what could be so bad that you don't want me to leave the compound alone?"
He's met with dead silence, which causes his face to grow dark. He slides his leg back over his bike, sitting down and turning the bike on, revving the engine. "I'll see you guys back home."
He turns around, taking off and leaving them to watch him disappear.
—-
He's in the shower when they make it home. They gather in the common room, filling in Bruce.
"He thinks we're overreacting." Tony sighs, his hand covering the top half of his face.
"Of course he does." Clint agrees, "we haven't shown him what happened to him."
"I think…" Bucky starts, his eyes on the elevator. "He's been remembering more without telling us. His brain is healing. We have to start soon, or it will be too late."
Only the sound of Natasha's nails tapping against the counter is heard for a moment. "I'm going to miss this carefree Steve." She sighs. "But I agree with Barnes."
"How about we have one more night out. A dinner out on the town. And we start tomorrow morning…?" Tony offers.
They nod, no one wanting to start the process of reminding Steve of the horrible things that had happened to him.
—
Even though he's confused about the turnaround, Steve agrees to go out with them to dinner. They drive into the city, in civilian clothes and with hats or oversized jackets to try to blend in as much as possible.
Everything's going fine. They order, the drinks come, the food comes, and they're at the tail end of their meal when it all goes wrong.
"Gentleman, and lady." Comes a voice that instantly makes everyone at the table freeze except for Steve.
They look up to see General Ross there with an aide at his side.
"Ross." Tony croaks out, wiping at his face quickly, "what brings you to this fine establishment."
"Oh, you know. This and that." He drawls, eyeing them with a predator's smile. "When the avengers ignore your calls and go on radio silence... I get suspicious that I'm being given the cold shoulder." He taps on the booth's table.
Tony and Natasha's facial expressions stay flat but Bruce winces. Ross' eyes train on him. "Then I get reports. Real strange reports from Alaska, and I'm over here thinking that you'll fill me in when you return from your unsanctioned mission. Then I hear about the karaoke bar and I get upset when my kiddos don't tell me they're back from their play dates."
Steve is looking at the group in confusion, he stands and holds out a hand to shake. "Were you our Government liaison for the mission?"
His words drop like a bomb, his team realizing their fatal mistake. They hadn't included a single memory about Ross when they had him under the machine. Ross looks at Steve, something unreadable flashing in his eyes before he looks down at Steve's extended hand.
"Rogers, what are you playing at?"
Steve looks a bit helplessly at the group, then back to Ross, "have we met before?"
"Ha!" Tony barks out, slapping the table, "geez Steve! I didn't know you were such a jokester!" He laughs again and his foot kicks Clint who joins in on the laughter.
"Oh, you should see your face, Ross! He got you good." Clint's face wearing a smug grin, "after you made him stay back the last time, you deserve it."
They're pushing it, they know, but Ross can't know. He can't. Ross' eyes narrow at them, trying to read their faces but Natasha just slides out of the booth, tapping Steve on the head as if he is being silly. "Like I told you, General. All the boys on this team are Drama Kings. I just never believed Steve had the actual guts to try to prank you." She pats Steve's arm, his eyes a pool of confusion, "Good job, Steve. I'm proud of you. Come on, let's go get some more drinks." She motions for Bucky to follow and drags Steve off to the bar before he can say anything to ruin their ruse. Bucky disappears after them and Ross turns back towards the table, glaring at each of them.
"I'm just supposed to believe that Rogers tried to prank me?"
"Come on, Ross." Clint drawls, "I know we all like to think that Steve is a goody-two-shoes, but you know he was committing felonies before he was 25 trying to get enlisted. You saw his tapes, he's a wild card. Although I am shocked he was so blatant in his distaste towards you. Although…. I get it."
Tony chuckles, keeping his eyes trained on Ross, trying to gauge his reaction. He's impressed with Clint, insulting the General just enough to make it seem like the truth. If they tried to flatter him the jig would be up.
"Well," Ross responds, his eyes still sharp, studying them, "Blatant distaste for me or not, I'll be by in the morning with a new therapist to clear Steve for a new mission. We had something come up, and I need him on active duty. I tried contacting Dr. Raymond but her firm says she up and quit. So, I am bringing in someone new tomorrow. If he's cleared, I'll brief him on the details. Evening, gentlemen."
He saunters away, his aide following him.
Tony is staring into the distance and Bruce is staring at the table. Only Clint is able to utter a response. "Well, shit."
—
After assuring Steve they would explain everything when they got home, they all secretly ran down to Tony's lab, leaving Steve thinking they were all changing into more comfortable clothes to meet back in the common room in 20 minutes.
"He's going to what?!" Natasha seethes, her eyes glaring at Tony.
"A new therapist. They want to clear him for a mission." His forehead is flat against the lab table, trying to let the cool metal bring his blood down from boiling. "We've been ignoring Ross for almost two months. I'm actually surprised he hasn't attempted something like this sooner."
"We can't let him." Bruce urges, "we need to think of something to get him out of this?"
"Like what?" Tony huffs, his arms waving but his head not leaving the table. "The only reason Steve didn't get to go on the last mission was because of Raymond, who's dead, in case you forgot—"
"Does Ross know about Beck?" Bucky whispers.
"No." Tony monotones.
"We didn't tell him, because it would have led to him exploring the scene and discovering the chair and any other valuable information he could get his slimy little hands on. It would also lead to more questions about why Steve was MIA. And I don't ever want Ross knowing about what Zemo did."
There's no arguments there.
"So what do we do?" Bruce asks, his hands scrubbing up and down his jeans.
"We need to fill him in on some details. He can't go into tomorrow blank about Ross, or a few other things."
"Friday?"
"Yes, Boss?"
"Will you ask Steve to come down to the memory room?"
"Yes, Boss."
"I hate this." Clint growls.
The resounding silence as they make their way up to the room is filled with their agreement.
—-
"So… I just… watch memories?"
"Yeah, Steve." Bucky replies, pulling on his headset. "When you… were injured… it took some of your memories and we need to fill in the pieces."
"How much of my memory is missing?" The concern in his voice is palpable, "what don't I know?"
"There's… quite the amount—" Natasha starts delicately. "But we're going to go slow and if you ever need a break you just tell us. Okay?"
His eyebrows knit together, "why do I feel like the only one who doesn't know what we're about to see?" He glances at each of them, guilt or tension on each face, "they're my memories right? How can you guys know them to show them to me?"
Bucky's hand finds Steve's shoulder, "do you trust us?"
"Yes." The answer is instant and something in Clint's chest twinges at the blazing sincerity behind the sentiment.
"Then let us show you, and you'll understand."
"Okay."
—
They'd already agreed about what to show him for this 'session'. They couldn't take too long because they wanted to be well rested and prepped for Ross' arrival tomorrow.
Natasha takes the first lead, showing any memory she has with both Ross and Steve in it, and some that are just her interactions with Ross. They aren't what one would describe as pleasant, but they're just memories. And Steve doesn't seem too agitated about them.
Then she goes into their capture, gently working their way through what Zemo and Beck did to each of them, not showing the memories, but just showing the room and the struggle they went through. Barnes showing up and their ultimate escape and rescue from Detroit.
They take a break and Steve pulls Bucky aside, "I don't get it, why don't I remember that stuff? Nothing happened to my head there that didn't happen to you guys—"
"We're not there yet, Steve." Bucky says quietly, his eyes not meeting Steve's. "We're not there yet."
—
They show him the memories of them back in the compound, about Ross and the tapes, and they never show Raymond's face, only allowing her voice into the memories. They show some of those memories, the happy ones they hadn't yet, or some of the lesser traumatic ones. They even show him the memory of them crowding around him on his bed after the memory of the commandos doing the same.
They notice that the memories seem to settle in his mind exactly as they're supposed to. Once they show him a memory, it's like he always knew it, only asking for context if there's missing pieces around the same time and they either fill in the gaps, or tell him that they'll show him later.
At around 1am, they call it quits.
"There's more, Steve." Clint informs him, "a lot more. But that's what you need to know for now, for tomorrow."
The shadows under Steve's eyes tell them he's worn out, and he doesn't fight their request that they call it for the night, even though he really hasn't gotten all his answers.
They shuffle tiredly to the elevator, climbing in and pushing their respective buttons.
They hit Bruce's floor first, and he's about to step off when Steve makes a sound in his throat, causing the scientist to turn back, looking at Steve questioningly.
"Um…" Steve ducks his head, "I know we shouldn't.. We're tired… but… maybe you guys would be up for heading up to the common room and watching something?"
It takes them all by surprise, but it shouldn't. This Steve still doesn't have his worst memories, his reservations about asking for help or admitting he misses contact.
Bruce doesn't hesitate, not letting anyone else answer as he steps back on and swipes the panel, clearing the floor requests and punching the button for the common room floor.
Steve looks a bit sheepish, "is that okay? I don't want to take up anyone's time."
Natasha smiles at him, "we'd love to, Steve. Something happy will do us good." The rest nod and soon they're settled on the couch. Steve in the middle, his arms behind his head as Natasha and Bucky sit on either side of him. Clint is squished up against Natasha and Tony's feet propped on the armrest by Bucky as he sits in a separate chair. Bruce is sitting on the ground, his back against the couch against Natasha's legs and his head is tipped back as he dozes.
Steve's trying to focus on the screen, a silly show about some community college. It is funny, but his thoughts are tied up with what they'd shown him tonight.
Bucky notices he's distracted but doesn't say anything, just sits there, his head against the cushion, keeping an ear out for changes in Steve's heart rate.
—
Tony blinks groggily into consciousness. Sighing deeply and stretching, a yawn forming unbidden.
He finally sits up, a crick in his neck from sleeping at a weird angle. He takes in the sight before and immediately pulls out his phone to snap a picture.
Bruce is vertical on the floor, Steve's legs laying over his torso. Steve and Barnes are sitting upright, their heads tipped back onto the couch. Natasha is curled up against Steve, her head against his rib cage, and his arm wrapped around her protectively. Clint is the wildcard, his whole body having shifted from sitting to lying, his head rests on Natasha's side but the lower half partially hanging off the side.
Several photos, and an order to Friday to save this security footage, he's up, making coffee.
He turns around to look at the group again when he catches Steve's eyes open, staring at the ceiling. He pours two cups and brings the other over to the couch. He hands the second cup to Steve, waiting for him to disentangle his arm to grab it.
"Thanks." Steve says in a deep, sleep-stained voice.
Tony responds dryly, "After all the cups you made me the last couple years? Especially those three a.m. ones—" He watches as Steve's fingers tighten around the mug handle and his eyes snap to Tony's.
"You know about that?"
"Yeah..."
Steve's nose scrunches and his head tips back, "I'm sorry, Tony." He says, his voice still gravelly with sleep, "I shouldn't have switched the machine. It was not mine to change out... I just couldn't figure out the other one, but I didn't want anyone teasing me about not being able to figure out new technology again, but that was selfish of me— " he's rambling again, but Tony's so caught off-guard by his response that he doesn't stop him. "—I didn't mean to invade your privacy about when you came up for coffee, I just knew I was at fault for changing the machine and I didn't want you to have to change your coffee habits because I was too stupid to figu—-"
"Stop." Tony rasps, his brain finally catching up with his mouth. "Steve, stop. That's not— you're not stupid— I wasn't calling you out, I was thanking you."
Tony can tell that everyone's awake now, Steve's voice rumbling them into consciousness. "Thanking me for what?" The soldier asks, confusion on his face.
"For going out of your way to make me coffee— for years. At every godforsaken hour of the day."
Steve shifts, his body sinking lower into the couch, like he wants to hide. "It's nothing. It was my fault in the first place."
Tony doesn't respond, just leans back and stares as the sun rises over the trees outside the giant window.
—
It's not until Steve has pried himself free from the couch to go shower tha Bucky speaks.
"Did any of you show him any memories of him getting teased about technology?"
The slow realization that this is something Steve's brain has filled in on it's own has them walking away towards their rooms. Leaving the common room with a tense silence.
—-
They all sit nervously, fingers tapping the glas stable in the conference room as they wait for Steve's evaluation to finish.
Almost an hour has passed and Tony is itching to listen to the bug he's planted in the room but Ross was watching him like a hawk, so he'd have to snoop later.
After 75 minutes, the door clicks open and the therapist, a tall, thin man, with glasses and a sharp nose steps out, a calm expression on his face. Steve exits, looking vaguely tired but content. He hears Bucky breath out in relief that Steve looks okay.
"Would you give us a minute, Steve?" The doctor says kindly, gesturing for the door.
Steve nods, his eyes landing on theirs before disappearing out the door. Bucky stands up and walks towards the door, "you don't need me here, if there's something I need to know, they can fill me in. I'll be with Steve."
He's gone before Ross can protest, which he doesn't anyways.
"So," Ross asks, addressing the doctor, ''Is he fit for duty?"
The man rests his hands on the back of one of the leather chairs. "Honestly? He seems not only ready for a mission, but eager. He was able to address the traumatic event of his capture without denial or trying to lessen the severity, he seems relatively unphased and well-grounded. I've read his previous evaluations and I will say I am astounded at his turnaround. I don't know what you guys have had him doing, but it's working. He doesn't show any alarming signs of the PTSD, depression, or social reservations mentioned in previous reports. It's like a new and fresh Captain Rogers. Whatever therapy he's been in is working." The therapist smiles, not noticing the avengers, remaining eerily calm at his words.
"So, that's a yes?" Ross pushes.
"Yes, you have my confidence that Captain Rogers is in the right state of mind for a mission. I give my full clearance."
Ross smiles, his grin thin and eyes glinting. "Perfect." He looks at the group, tapping the table with his pen, "tell Steve to expect paperwork on the mission in the next few days. We need this one done quic—"
"What do you mean, tell Steve to expect paperwork?" Natasha cuts in, her eyes pinned on Ross.
The man in question scoffs, "what the hell do you think I mean, Romanoff? Steve needs the paperwork because he's the one going on the mission."
Realization slams into them. "Wait—" Tony chokes out, "this is a solo mission?"
"What, did you guys drink stupid juice this morning? That's what I said last night, and it's what I'm saying now."
"He can't…" Clint starts, his eyes full of worry as his jaw is tight. It's a risk. A risk letting Ross know they don't want him to go alone. Or at all.
Ross' eyes narrow, "why not?"
When they don't respond right away, Ross glares at them, "you heard the doc, he's impressed with Steve's evaluation. So unless there's something you wanna enlighten me with?"
He leaves the question open ended, they stare at him, anything they say will lead to more questions they don't want asked or answered.
"Well, then that settles it." Ross scoffs, rolling his eyes. "You're being over protective of your leader, I get it. But the doc says he's good. And Rogers wants to go. Not only that, but we need him specifically on this mission. It's really only something he can accomplish and stay stealthy about it."
He nods at them, gathering his briefcase and disappearing through the door with a content smile on his face.
—
*A/N - Literally I can't thank you enough for your comments. Truly they make my day! I love when you guys react to characters or plots or dialogue. It's truly a writer's dream to have so much love for the story! So THANK YOU!