No, there ain't no doubt
Sirius would do anything to protect Remus. Anything.
Warning - off-screen domestic abuse and murder.
Sirius has always prided himself on being a great friend. He's loyal, more loyal than anyone. He's slipped up only once, letting a secret out, and he's regretted that every single day, even though that was years ago. He's worked hard to fix that, to make up for that, and he's earnt Remus' forgiveness.
And he keeps trying. Keeps showing that he's worthy of their friendship, even though he doesn't feel like he is. No, Sirius isn't deserving of people like Peter and James and especially Remus. He's not worthy of this happiness, and he's scared that one day his friends will realise that truth.
His self-doubts have lessened a little after moving in with the Potter family. Dorea and Charlus work hard to help him realise that his parents are full of cruel words. That his parents drag him down and make him feel unworthy. That he's not done a single thing wrong to believe that he doesn't deserve good or happiness in his life. That he deserves good friends, a nice life.
So he continues to strive to be the best of the best. When James has a crazy plan to get Lily's attention, Sirius helps, no questions asked. When Peter is stressed over upcoming exams, Sirius is there to quiz him on the answers. When Remus' health hits a low point, as it tends to do every so often, Sirius is there with bags of popcorn and films for them to watch, and offers to switch Remus' books at the library for him.
Somehow, he's the friend they all rely on. He's worked hard for that, but when he sees Remus start dating other guys, something twists in his gut because Remus deserves happiness, but why can't he find that with Sirius? Why does he date all of these guys that don't deserve him.
But he's there for Remus each time his heart gets broken. Each time one of them drags him down, Sirius is there to pick him up and tell him that he's amazing. One day… one day Remus will realise that there's a man out there that won't ever hurt him. He just needs to realize that the man is right in front of him.
Sirius can wait. He'd wait forever for Remus.
Sirius looks at his friend in the hospital bed and he feels sick. A black eye and bruises on his face, and Sirius doesn't want to consider the rest of him. There's a broken arm, a broken wrist, and when James tells him the rest of the injuries, it's all white noise because the anger rising inside of him doesn't allow words in. Remus looks so fragile, lying there.
"Fenrir?" he asks, spinning around. His words are sharp, full of the anger he's feeling, and James steps back slightly, eyes wide. He nods his head, the surprise fading quickly.
"They just moved in together a month ago," Peter mutters.
"The doctor said that there's some bruises that aren't… aren't as fresh as the ones that put him here," James mutters quietly. "This isn't the first time that bastard hurt him. Did he… has he said anything to you?"
Sirius shakes his head. His hands are clenched so tightly that he's sure his nails have pierced his skin. He thought Remus was happy this time. He doesn't like to interfere in Remus' relationships, because if Remus is happy, Sirius is… well, not exactly happy. But able to put his feelings aside for Remus. Remus is the most beautiful person he's ever known in his life, and Remus' happiness is the only thing that matters.
"He's not going back there," Sirius decides. "Fenrir's house… you pointed it out before, right? It's a bit out of the way?"
"Yeah, one by itself," James confirms, with a nod of his head. "No neighbours to… to hear…"
James trails off and Sirius shares a look with Peter. No neighbours to hear what's happening. To hear Remus' agony and calls for help. Only the postman the next morning, when putting post through the door, hears a weak plea on the other side of the door.
"They've arrested Fenrir?"
James shakes his head. "Remus is terrified," he murmurs. "Said someone broke in and attacked him."
"Maybe someone did?" Peter suggests.
Sirius looks at his friend and shakes his head. He's had a bad feeling about Fenrir for the four months they've known him, but Remus seemed happy and Sirius didn't want to say anything because of that. He had wondered to himself over the four months if his dislike of Fenrir was because he made Remus happy. If it was because Remus had agreed to move in with the other man.
Now he regrets not trusting his first impression. He'd have kept a better eye on Remus. He'd have pushed harder when Remus made excuses for a whole month not to see them.
"He's cancelled on us for a month," Sirius murmurs. "He said his health… he said Fenrir was looking after him. I think… I think he lied so we wouldn't see what Fenrir was doing to him."
James nods his head, and Sirius walks over to the bed. There's a machine with Remus' heartbeat. Remus hasn't woken up since being found. Sirius is terrified.
"I let him down," he tells the others, taking Remus' hand in his own. It's lifeless, and he can't help but feel around for a pulse on his wrist. The machines show Remus' heartbeat, but Sirius wants to be sure, no matter how irrational that is. "I have a spare room. He'll stay with me."
"I know you'll look after him," Hope says quietly. She walks into the room, her eyes on Sirius, and she takes his hand when she's close enough. "If he's with you, I know this will never happen again."
"If I knew—" Sirius starts.
"I know," Hope assures him. "He pulled away from everyone. We weren't to know."
Sirius silently disagrees. He felt that something was up. He should have tried harder. He should have done better.
And judging by the look on Hope's face, she regrets not doing more herself.
It's cold as they walk to the house. Sirius knows that Remus will never return here. He wants to get Remus' belongings for when Remus is conscious and ready to come home. Most of his books are still with his mum - Fenrir having insisted that there was no space for them - but Sirius wants to get the items that matter to Remus. Photos that he brought with him, his favourite blanket. That sort of thing.
Sirius is already planning the spare room for him. A new bed with the softest mattress to help Remus' back when he's ill. Shelves everywhere so Remus has all his books. Warm colours on the wall. A room so perfect that Remus will never want to leave.
Though if he does, Sirius won't stop him. He's almost resigned himself to the idea that Remus will never see him the same way.
It's not even seven and it's so dark out. The street lamps are few and far between and Sirius hasn't managed to let go of the anger when they reach the door.
They can hear the television as they approach. The light shines around the top of the drawn curtains.
Sirius doesn't trust himself. He shoves his hands in his pockets and allows James to take the lead. James reaches out and knocks on the door. They have access to Remus' key, but that's plan B. As James points out, they could get in trouble with the police for letting themselves in without permission, though Sirius is sure Remus will vouch for them. As Remus is still unconscious, however, asking for the stuff first might be the best option.
The door swings open and Sirius forces a blank mask on his face at the sight of Fenrir. The man is tall, large. Remus had no chance.
"We're here for Remus' stuff," James says.
Fenrir laughs. "No you're not," he says as though this is some sort of joke. "Poor cub. I should get another lock on the door so no-one breaks in again. Tell you what, I'll let you bring something to the hospital from me so he's reminded of me when he wakes up." He turns and heads inside, beckoning them to follow. "He'll be back here soon enough."
Sirius is shivering now. Shaking in anger. Fenrir isn't even trying to sound convincing. He's so sure that Remus will end up back in the house. Sirius would rather die than let Remus come back here. He'd give his life to protect Remus from this man.
James follows, so Sirius does too.
He's not letting Remus come back here. He's not going to let Remus be hurt anymore.
Sirius' chest is heaving as he looks down at the knife in his hands. He looks up slowly, his gaze going from the man on the floor, to James, who is staring at the scene in horror.
"He… he…"
"He came at you," James says, shaking his head, though he looks horrified. "Stand still. Don't move." He pauses, his gaze moving between the body and Sirius. "What is wrong with you? Murder shouldn't be the first way you try and solve a problem."
Sirius resists running out of the room. He's not even sure what happened. The knife was just there, and… Fenrir wanted to hurt him and Sirius didn't think.
"Dad talks about crime scenes all the time," James adds, his voice a little higher pitched than usual. "Do not drop that knife. Okay, don't… look. We gotta go."
"No, call Dad," Sirius says. "Tell him what I did. I… he said Remus liked it. He said… he said that Remus… he threatened Remus' life, James. He threatened yours."
"Mate, he said he'd hurt you too," James points out, but Sirius shrugs. He doesn't care about himself. He cares about James. About Remus. "He was about to do something to you. Where'd you get the knife?"
"It was on the counter here," Sirius tells him. He's not moving, but there's a puddle of blood. It's seeping across the floor quicker than Sirius could ever imagine. James advances carefully and presses his fingers to Fenrir's neck. "He'll be dead in a few minutes," he mutters before backing out of the room.
"I'm not drunk enough for this conversation," Sirius whispers. He can only stare, horrified.
The sound of the television stops, and he comes back, a tissue on his hand. "Don't touch anything," he says to Sirius. He's shaking, Sirius can see that. "Avoid the blood and move around him."
Sirius carefully walks around, avoiding the body. The blood. "Remus' stuff?"
"If we take anything, it'll prove that we were here," James hisses. "We need to get the fuck out. Away from here. We need… clean clothes. Gotta get an alibi or something." His hazel eyes turn to Sirius. "You're not going to be sent away for this," he mutters. "Someone has to protect Remus from all these bastards. That's you, Sirius. Let's go."
Sirius follows James from the room, careful not to touch anything. The knife is still in his hand, and he looks urgently towards James.
"We'll go around the back where no-one will see us. Dump this as far away as we can."
Personally, Sirius thinks that James has been watching way too many crime shows. But he says nothing. James is rational, and Sirius would have dropped the knife and legged it from the house, not caring if he walked through the blood or not. Not caring if he touched things.
James uses the tissue to open the door. When they're outside, he uses it to close it again, before handing the wad of tissue to Sirius. "That knife needs to be hidden," he hisses. "Don't wrap it in your clothes. Wrap it in the tissue for now. It'll stop the blood, and… and…" he hesitates. "Sirius, we just killed a man."
"I did," Sirius says, eyes wide. He feels sick. He just wanted Fenrir to leave Remus alone, but there's a dark voice inside of him telling him that Remus is safe now. Remus won't ever end up in hospital at Fenrir's hand.
The voice sounds a lot like his father's voice.
"We did. I was here. I saw him come at you, I could have acted faster." He points up the road. "Keep it hidden under your clothes or something."
"I was the one—"
"Sirius, you may have stabbed him, but I'm the one who is making you leave when you wanted to turn yourself in. I'm the one who has made the choice to leave the man to die in there," James hisses. "This is for Remus. We're saving each other, yes, but we're doing this for Remus. Imagine if he lives. Especially after this. If we call the police, I'll get off scot-free, but you'll be in prison. Remus will suffer, and you won't be there for Remus to reach out to. Remus needs us. You. It's always been you he turns to, and I'm not going to let Remus get hurt any more, and I know that you'd do anything to protect him too."
He pauses, before pulling Sirius' jacket open and grabbing the tissue covered knife and shoving it under Sirius' jacket. "And I'll do anything to protect you too. This was a bad person. We did a bad thing, but to a bad person. We'll have to live with that, both of us. But…" he trails off and takes a deep breath. "But it means that we've also protected our friend, and over time, maybe we can justify our actions."
Sirius nods. He's protected Remus, and suddenly he's not feeling so shaky, so panicked.
"Remus is safe," he murmurs. That makes him feel a bit better. That's what matters to him. Remus.
And he can't go to the police now, because James is an accessory, and he's not going to let James get in trouble. If this comes back on him, he'll say that James wasn't even there.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Sirius murmurs.
James shakes his head. "Not really," he admits weakly.
They don't encounter anyone for a while. They walk quickly and find themselves on the other side of town not long after, and James orders a take-away. Sirius stands outside with a cigarette, trying to calm himself. It's an alibi. The receipt will have a time on it. People see them out, acting normal. It's the best they can do.
The knife is hidden under his clothes, and he's freaking out ever so slightly. He's trying to remember what it was like a few years back, when he still lived at home and had to pretend. Had to put up a front. Had to act like things didn't bother him.
He grins and winks at some girls as they pass, their eyes on him as they whisper to each other, giggling. When James comes out, Sirius can see the strain on his face, though James hides it well.
"Let's go home. Make some noise," James murmurs. "We're not going to talk about this after tonight. Not to anyone, okay? Not Peter, not anyone."
Sirius is there when Remus wakes up. It's been two days since… well, Sirius doesn't even like to think about what he did. Though his actions are a weight. If Remus finds out, Remus may not forgive him and that's going to be the thing that breaks Sirius.
"Sirius? What…" Remus' voice is a low whisper. It's clearly painful to talk. Sirius wonders again against the bandages around Remus' neck.
"You're safe," Sirius tells him. "And this won't ever happen to you again."
Remus looks fearful as he meets Sirius' gaze, and Sirius feels angry as his eyes move over the bruising around Remus'. But he holds a steady gaze. "My spare room is ready," he adds.
"But… Fenrir…" and there's a flicker of fear on Remus' face, as though he's scared of Fenrir's reaction if he leaves.
"Sweetheart. Fenrir hasn't stopped by. Maybe it's for the best that you go to Sirius' place."
Sirius glances around and meets James' gaze for a moment, before turning back to Remus. His head has turned a little towards his mother now.
"Someone broke in," Remus says. It's clearly a lie. Remus can lie well when he wants, but Sirius can see through his lies because he knows Remus better than anyone. Remus is scared, it's evident on his face. He's scared of what Fenrir will do if he found out Remus told the truth.
"Remus," Sirius says softly. "I want you to stay with me. I'm not taking no for an answer."
Remus turns his head, and his eyes fix on Sirius for a long moment.
"Are you sure I won't be an inconvenience?" Remus asks. "I could… I could go back to mum's house. But…" he trails off. Sirius wonders if Remus is scared about Fenrir coming to Hope's home.
Sirius smiles softly. "Luv, you never are," he assures him. "My home is your home, okay? I've got the room ready for you. Stocked up the fridge. There's a mountain of chocolate in the cupboard - should last you a week, and of course, I've stocked up on teabags."
There's a hint of a smile on Remus' lips.
"What if there's… a problem?" Remus asks, so quietly.
"Don't worry about anything," Sirius tells him. "When they discharge you, you'll be safe with me. Like I'd ever let anything happen to you. I'll get an extra lock on the door to keep you safe if you want." He holds up a keyring with the keys to his house on them. "These are yours." Because he wants Remus to come and go as he likes.
Remus tries to smile wider, but he looks drained and exhausted. He looks like his eyes don't want to stay open.
"Thank you," he whispers, and the pair move away from the bed as Remus' eyes close and he falls asleep.
"You here for the party?" Sirius asks, opening the door. It's not really a party as such, because he doesn't want Remus to be overwhelmed. More like a little celebration for Remus moving into his place. Sirius spent the previous day painting, hoping it'd take his mind off everything. The walls are a plain egg-white colour, with a coffee-coloured feature wall. The bed was brought into the room the previous evening, ready for Remus today. Remus hasn't seen the room yet, and Sirius is excited to show him around later.
Charlus walks in, shaking his head. "Just following up some leads," he mutters. "Sirius… James, I need to talk to you both in a minute. But I need to talk to Remus first."
Sirius nods. He doesn't look towards James. He feels sick all of a sudden. He knows why Charlus is here.
"Remus, you're not the next of kin, but I'm here partially to inform you that we… well, we found Fenrir. He's dead. I'm sorry."
That's Charlus' polite voice. Charlus knows what happened to Remus. He's tried to talk Remus into pressing charges. He's not actually sorry that Fenrir is dead. He's sorry that it's something that could upset Remus.
Remus nods slowly. "When?" he asks, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Seven days - we believe it happened last Friday. Someone reported in that they have been trying to get in contact with him for a few days. They finally called us and we headed to the house to look for him and…" Charlus trails off. "It's a murder investigation."
Remus nods again slightly, shocked at the news.
"Sirius, James," he says, turning around. "Have you been to that house recently? We found dna from both of you. I just need to know where you were on Friday between six and nine. We're still trying to determine the time."
"Oh. We grabbed a takeaway that evening," Sirius says. "What time was that, James?"
"I think we got home for… not long after nine," James murmurs. "Uh… The Longbottoms can vouch for us, they saw us come into the house. I was talking to Frank for a bit about plants. You know how Frank is."
Charlus nods, "What about before that?"
Silence falls. Sirius glances around towards Remus, and Hope is staring at him. He looks away quickly, turning his gaze back to James.
"At mine," Hope says. "The boys came over to help me put together something I bought from Ikea. Normally Remus comes to help, but they offered since Remus was still in the hospital. They got to my house just before Home and Away started. You know how I love my show."
Sirius glances over. Hope is a most convincing liar.
"We were discussing Remus coming to stay here for a bit. I reached out to Sirius, asking if Remus could use his spare room for a bit. They were at mine for a couple of hours at least."
Charlus looks between the group, hazel eyes flicking from one person to the next. It's clear he's suspicious.
"They were at the house a few days before the… the incident," Remus adds, just as convincingly as Hope. "Fenrir wasn't there so I invited them in for a cup of tea. They… said that they were worried. Tried to convince me to go back home, but I was scared that Fenrir would… would go to my mum's house. I tried to convince them that I was fine, and… well, I should have listened to them. But they've been with me at the house recently."
"Alibis and dna explanation," Charlus murmurs. His eyes land on Sirius. "More than I need right now, but I'm glad that you've got them, just in case they are needed. Though, since you're both innocent, I'm sure you can stop looking like a deer in headlights." There's a pointed tone in his voice. "I'm sure someone like Fenrir was involved in something else that could've upset people—" He's clearly searching for any reason to turn the investigation in a different direction. Sirius watches him. This man is like a father to him. He's actually James' father, and it's clear that he's not going to let them go down for this.
"Drugs," Remus almost shouts. "He was dealing drugs and… and he owed some people some money. He… he scammed someone, though I wasn't in on the details. Just heard Fenrir bragging about getting away with it." He turns his attention to his mum. "I'm sorry. I didn't know until I moved in. I swear I didn't take any drugs. I stayed well away from all of that." His voice shakes, and Sirius almost smiles at how adorable he is. But he doesn't.
"I know you wouldn't have," Hope says, taking his hand in hers. "You're too sensible for that."
Charlus' gaze moves around the group again. "Tell me you disposed of the weapon where it won't incriminate either of you?" he hisses, his tone urgent. "Because we're going to search the lake behind the house."
"Haven't been near that lake in years," Sirius assures Charlus, shrugging his shoulders.
"Yeah, and… what weapon," James adds. James is a terrible liar.
Charlus nods. "Good," he mutters. His gaze moves to Remus, darting over the other man's face, before moving to his arm and wrist as though he's reminding himself of what Remus went through at the hands of Fenrir.
"With this new information, it sounds like this was a drug-related murder. We'll of course be following that lead," Charlus says. "Boys, I hope you're keeping your flats clean - no overflowing washing baskets?"
"Spotless," Sirius says. Charlus is checking that they've gotten rid of any clothes that could have dna on them, anything with blood.
Charlus nods again. "I'll see you both for dinner on Sunday," he says, glancing between them briefly. "Hope, always lovely to see you. You're both welcome on Sunday too. It's no trouble and you certainly won't be putting us out, before you ask."
Hope nods. "I'd love to. It's been a while since we've caught up. Tell Dorea I'll bring a nice dessert."
He smiles. "I will. Remus, hopefully you recover quickly. I'll keep you updated on what I find, and let you know when you can come to the house to collect your belongings. Or when you can send someone. I'm happy to handle arrangements for Fenrir's belongings, if it's hard for you to deal with. If you have any other information, like where the drugs were kept, you have my number."
Remus nods. "The bathroom. I'm not sure exactly where. But when people were coming to buy, he'd disappear in there for them."
Charlus nods again and says his goodbyes before he walks out of the flat, leaving the four of them alone.
James stays silent, his gaze on the wall, and Sirius turns his gaze to Hope and Remus.
"You were at my house on Friday," Hope says firmly, standing up. "I should be heading home now. James, my darling, I know Sirius offered to drive me, but perhaps you can? You look like you could use some air."
James nods, glancing towards Remus. Sirius follows his gaze, and Remus smiles slightly. Hope walks over and wraps her arms around Sirius.
"Thank you," she whispers in his ear. "Sometimes we have to do whatever we can to protect those we love. Your secret is safe with me, and I'll talk to James. He's a little shaken. You tell my son how you feel. You won't get a better chance. Stop brooding over him, my darling." With that, she lets go and follows James out of the door.
Only Sirius and Remus remain.
"You killed him," Remus murmurs. "You or James."
There's no use lying. Remus and his mum gave alibis. The truth is obvious.
"I did," Sirius confirms. "Don't blame James for this, it was my fault. He came at me after threatening James and you. He threatened me too, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that he can't hurt you anymore."
"Did you.. Sirius, did you intend to?" Remus asks "Did you go there to kill him, or…"
Sirius shakes his head. "We went there to get your stuff. I wasn't going to let you go back there. I mean, not 'let' but… you know what I mean." He lets out a breath. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. If he hadn't come at me, I think… I don't think I'd have done that, but I can't say for sure. I was angry, Remus. I've never been so furious in my life. I… I wanted to hurt him because he hurt you, and I was scared he'd hurt you again. But I didn't go in there intending to kill him, I promise you that."
Remus moves closer, and his arm wraps around Sirius in an attempt to hug him. "I was so scared. I thought he'd come for me. I thought he'd get you, if you were protecting me here. I was scared for my mum, but… but I'm not scared anymore. Thank you."
Sirius smiles, wrapping his arms carefully around Remus. "You know I'd do anything to protect you."
"I know. That's why I was so scared for you. You'd stand between him and me, and I'd rather take what Fenrir gives instead of you doing so. I'd do anything to protect you too. I'd even… go to an extreme."
"Because you love me?" Sirius teases.
Remus stills for a moment, before pulling back. "Sirius, is this you saying that you protected me because… because you love me?" he asks, frowning ever so slightly.
Sirius doesn't answer straight away. His love confession wasn't supposed to follow his murder confession. This isn't how it's supposed to go.
"I'd protect you anyway," Sirius finally says. "Peter and James too. But especially you. I knew something was wrong. You pulled away. I knew… something… I failed you again. I should've been there to stop it. I should have said I didn't like Fenrir and had a bad feeling about him, but I thought that it was me being jealous, so I dismissed that opinion. But he hurt you, Remus. I'm not going to let anyone lay a finger on you again."
"Sounds like you're avoiding the question," Remus says gently. "But it also sounds like you might actually… love me, and… well, if you do, you might like what I have to say about that."
"You're not going to laugh at me, shoot me down, tell me that we can only be friends?" Sirius checks. "Because I've been completely in love with you for years."
Remus' smile widens. "I thought I was stuck in your friend-zone," he says. "I've been in love with you… since… well, I suppose my crush on you was when I realised that I wasn't straight. You were my first crush, and… this is the best day of my life. You never let on that you felt anything more than friendship."
"But, I… I did something bad," Sirius murmurs. "I thought you'd hate me?"
"How could I hate someone who loves me so much that they'd do anything to keep me safe?" Remus asks. He steps closer once more, and leans in, his lips inches from Sirius' lips. "Besides, you were at my mum's house. Now, we've got some time before James returns…" his hand reaches up, his fingers carding through Sirius' hair at the nape of his neck, before Remus leans in, letting their lips meet.
The kiss lasts only seconds, and Sirius allows himself to feel happy for just a moment.
"I want this," he says quietly. "But not until this is all over, Remus. I don't want to start something, just to end up in prison."
"If you do go there, I'll wait for you," Remus murmurs.
"I know you would, but I would hope you'd go out and find happiness," Sirius tells him. "You've got a recovery ahead of you. I've got… well, I have to come to terms with what I did. We'll find our footing together, and once this… Fenrir thing is over with, I'm all yours. Or… well, or I'll be in prison."
"We'll get through this," Remus insists softly. "If you want to wait before starting this relationship, I'm happy to wait. But trust me, the day this comes to an end, you're all mine. And I'm not going to let go of you."
"I'll hold you to that," Remus says. "As for my recovery. You know that saying… what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and—"
Sirius groans. "Are you just going to use puns about killing every time?" he asks.
"Yes I am," Remus confirms with a grin.
Sirius hesitates for a long time. "One more thing. I never thought I was capable of… but I am. What if I hurt you?"
Remus shakes his head. "That'd never happen," Remus says. "I'm not afraid of you because I know you better than you know yourself. You'd do anything to protect your friends, Sirius. You'd never hurt any of us - I trust you with my life. For the first time in months, I'm unafraid."
Sirius nods. He'd never hurt Remus. He's just freaked out. He'd never hurt Remus, that's one thing he's sure about.
"We'll get through this all," Remus repeats. "Together." He leans in and their lips brush together gently, and Sirius wants to pull Remus close and never let go, but Remus backs away. This is them waiting to see what happens, but at least he'll have Remus at his side.
"I need to tell you that you're beautiful," Sirius says.
Remus' cheeks redden. "How about you show me around our place?" he suggests.
Remus lets himself back in the house with the set of keys from Sirius and heads to the kitchen. James has popped around for a cup of tea, and Remus is glad that James is there. He drops the newspaper on the table, making Sirius and James both jump. "Drug related murder," he says. "Mum called and said to pick up a copy."
"She's nice," James says. "That day in the car… she said that anyone who protects you the way… that way,.." he trails off, and Sirius gives him a smile. James is still coming to terms with what they did, still uncomfortable talking about it. Still living in fear that they'll be found out. Though that fear can come to an end.
Sirius glances at the paper, before turning to Remus. "How are you feeling?"
"Free," Remus says. "I've been living in fear of you being found out and taken away from me. But… but this case is closed now."
James nods. "Dad told me this morning. He knows the truth, but he's pretending that he has no clue. On that note… didn't you both say that you're not going to start a relationship until all of this was done and dealt with?"
"We did say that," Sirius confirms. It's been a month and they've only kissed once. Hope has her own key to the house and stops in often, as does James and Peter. Remus is looking better and he's much more his old self.
They've shared one single kiss, before agreeing to wait to make sure Sirius doesn't get arrested. Remus was more reluctant, insisting that no matter what, he wants to be with Sirius. But Sirius doesn't want Remus' life to be put on hold if he gets arrested.
Remus reaches for Sirius' hand. "James, as much as I love you, please go home and don't come back for… three days."
James smirks. "Whatever you say," he says. "Have fun, both of you. I think I'll pop over to see Regulus... " at Remus' curious look, he smirks. "We got to know each other pretty well over the last month," he says.
"Sex," Sirius mutters, clearly unimpressed. James scarpers quickly at that word, and the pair find themselves alone.
"We will," Sirius says, standing up and looking into Remus' beautiful eyes. "I've been thinking about this since that first kiss. I'm going to take you on an amazing first date, then bring you back here and hopefully get you naked."
"Sounds like a great plan," Remus agrees. "But first…" He uses his good hand to grab the front of Sirius' top and pulls him in for a kiss.
Sirius shifts closer, wrapping his arms gently around Remus, returning the kiss. It's one of the best days of his life, because he gets to be with Remus.
Sirius sits up suddenly, his breathing labored and he looks wildly around. Remus shuffles closer. "What's the matter, luv?" he asks.
Sirius tries to focus. The images of Fenrir still in his head.
"The dream again," he admits. "They're persistent."
Remus sits up, rubbing at his eyes. "I still have nightmares about him," he says, and Sirius nods. They help each other through those nightmares. The man might be gone, but the nightmares are still there. For Remus, the nightmares remind him of what he's been through. For Sirius, however, the nightmares are a reminder of what he's done.
"It was a nightmare, that's all," Remus whispers softly. "Should we have a cup of tea and talk?"
Sirius shakes his head. They sometimes get up and talk through everything. He's found out everything that Remus has gone through at the hands of the monster. He's talked about the night so many times, but he doesn't want to talk about it tonight. The nightmares incite the anger, the guilt. He knows he needs to find a way to atone for what he's done. He's just not sure how to do that yet. But he'll find a way.
"Tell me what you want," Remus asks gently. His arm stretches stiffly out. He's not long had the cast off, having worn it for two months. He reaches for the duvet, grabbing a handful of the red cover and pulls it up over them.
"All I want right now is to wrap my arms around you," Sirius says. Ever since the paper, he pretty much moved into Remus' bedroom (and not because the bed is so comfortable). Their relationship is moving slowly, but he gets to spend every night with Remus in his arms, and every night is perfect.
Remus smiles and leans in for a kiss. Just a simple brush of lips. "I'm here," he assures Sirius. "And I'm never going anywhere."
6099 words
Reviews are very much appreciated! :)
This came about because Bex gave me the writing prompt "accidental murder".
Days of the Year - 9th October - Curious Events Day: Write about an unexpected event
Sarcastic Month - 10. (dialogue) "I'm not drunk enough for this conversation."
Jewellery Month - 17. Key: (object) Key
National Author Month - 17. Genre: Murder
Indigenous Peoples Day - 1. Concho Indian Boarding School: (scenario) someone moving homes
Comic Book Day - 10. Batman: (dialogue) "What doesn't kill you makes you stranger."
World Farm Animals Day - 11. Goose - (trait) Loyal
Colours - 15. Coffee
Flowers - 3. Celosia: (dialogue) "It was a nightmare, that's all."
Crystals and Gemstones - 8. Opalite: (word) Persistent
Moony's Neon Cafe - Genre: Crime
Writing Club
Pokemon - 10. Growlithe: (trait) Loyal
Written in the Stars - 6. (word) brooding
Book Club - 4. Monsieur Defarge (trait) loyal / (word) incite / (color) red
Showtime - 12. When I First Saw You: (word) dream
Film Festival - 10. (Dialogue) "I know you better than you know yourself."
Lizzy's Loft - 19. Spend Your $$$ - Just trying to look a little more like myself
Elizabeth's Empire - 6. I Dreamed A Dream - Les Miserables: Prompt: (word) unafraid
Angel's Archive - 15. (color) Egg White
They Said What - 6. "What is wrong with you. Murder shouldn't be the first way you try and solve a problem!"
Lyric Alley - 6. And this time I think you'll know..
Artist Appreciation - 25. no body, no crime: Prompt - (plot point) covering up a murder - BONUS
Buttons - (emotion) 5. Furious
Resolution Evolution - 6. 6. Write a fic including one of the following words: Suspicious, Ominous, Chill(ing), Drift(ing), Peaceful
TV Spree - 19. (dialogue) "We got to know each other pretty well." / "Sex."
Sophie's Smut Bucket - 15. (dialogue) "Tell me what you want."
Race to the Top of Mount Potter - Checkpoint 4 - accidental murder
Insert Title Here - 17. Prompt: (dialogue) "I'm not afraid of you."
Potion Making - Ashwinder Egg - 2. (word) Chance
Celebrating Women - 9. Princess Leia (Star Wars): (dialogue) "I hope you know what you're doing."
Sandwich Day - Filling - 18. Bacon- (word) fragile
Fortnightly
Equals - 11. Love in Slow Motion - Write about feeling like time stands still / alt. "I need to tell you you're beautiful."
Scented Candle - 6. Light It Into Existence Candle - Write about the start of something
Writing Month