Harry thought that it felt weird that he was becoming such a close friend with Abraxas so quickly. He honestly hadn't expected them to have anything in common at all, especially not when he realized Abraxas was Lucius. But once they actually started having conversations that went beyond the realm of small talk, they found that they had quite a few things in common.
Harry, Blaise, Pansy, Draco, and Abraxas were hanging out on the Hogwarts grounds, enjoying the surprisingly warm October afternoon. They were all sitting in a circle talking, letting the sun soak into their skin for probably one of the last warm days of the season.
Harry was laying on his back on the ground, his arms behind his head as a pillow as the sun covered him like a warm blanket. He hummed in appreciation and relaxed into the ground underneath him, closing his eyes, and just basking in the light.
He couldn't remember a time when he was ever allowed to be this relaxed. 'Constant Vigilance!' as Mad-Eye had taught him. Growing up he had to always be on high alert, trying his best to survive his relatives and their treatment. Then, coming to Hogwarts and suddenly becoming the hero of the wizarding world who was going to save them all. Harry was just a child, but he had the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.
Now though? It felt like the pressures of being the boy-who-lived was lessening every day, and Harry was free to be… well, Harry. He let out a content sigh, and a small smile tugged at the edge of his lips as he let himself chill out.
Harry heard quiet chuckling, and even with his eyes closed he was pretty sure it was Draco.
"Hey Harry! What are you doing over there? Photosynthesizing?" Draco said only a moment later.
Harry opened his eyes lazily and threw his friend a carefree smile, "something like that, yeah."
Draco had been watching his friend as he bathed in the sun. He had been watching Harry slowly relax, bit by bit as the weeks passed and Voldemort was still 1000% dead. He laughed at Harry's response and shook his head.
As his head shook from side to side, he caught glimpse of somebody else watching Harry. He turned towards his father to see him looking over at Harry with a soft look, just watching the other exist peacefully. He raised an eyebrow to himself; he'd never seen Abraxas look at someone like that before… but why was he looking at Harry like that?
As if Abraxas can hear his thoughts, he averts his gaze from Harry. By the time Abraxas has turned towards Draco, a different look was on his face, and the younger blonde wondered if maybe he hadn't seen what he thought he had.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he would just have to wait and see how this all played out.
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Harry was out sitting by the black lake, watching the sun go down behind the trees of the forbidden forest. It was the end of October, and the air was starting to crisp up, it burned at the brunettes face.
It was Halloween night, everybody in the castle was celebrating. There were several different Halloween parties going on, and there was even a mini feast for them when they were in the great hall. Everybody was genuinely having a good time, except for Harry, that is.
Harry hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them, just staring out over the lake. It was 15 years ago to the day that his parents had been killed. He couldn't bring himself to celebrate like everybody else could. He had tried to stay in his dorm room, but his friends just tried to drag him to the Slytherin party in the common room, so he had left- he needed some peace and quiet.
He was sitting out by the lake for a long time before he heard somebody walking up behind him. He thought maybe he should turn around, but he didn't bother. He couldn't bring himself to care in his current state.
"Hey," came the soft greeting, then somebody was sitting down next to him. He looked over at the person in his peripheral vision, seeing long blonde hair draped over the other man's shoulders.
"Hey…" Harry responded, looking back out over the lake. They were quiet for a long time, just sitting together and watching.
"Does the holiday bring up bad memories for you?" Abraxas asked gently, his voice soft as it carried in the autumn wind.
"Not memories… but a lack there of I suppose." Harry responded after a moment, turning his head slightly so he could look at the blonde. "My parents died on Halloween night, and then every other year I spent the day in my cupboard while the Dursleys took Dudley trick or treating."
Abraxas frowned deeply at the explanation. "Your relatives treated you horribly." Was the only thing he could find to say. His frown deepened when Harry let out a little broken laugh.
"Yeah, you could say that for sure…" they were quiet again for a long while after that. The sun had long since been set behind the horizon. The wind blew and Harry couldn't help but shiver at the temperature.
He started a little when he felt a cloak being draped over his shoulders. He looked over at Abraxas who now just had his day clothes on. He gave Harry a half smile before just turning back towards the lake. Harry looked down at the cloak around him and he couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through him at the kind gesture.
He wrapped the cloak around his shoulders tighter before leaning over and resting his head on the blondes shoulder hesitantly. He was expecting to be shrugged away, but he was warmed when an arm came to wrap around his shoulders and pull him into the others side.
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Abraxas was sitting in the dorms one Saturday afternoon doing his homework when he looked up at the sound of somebody calling his name,
"Abraxas!" Harry called as he climbed the stairs. He practically slammed the dorm room door open when he reached it, his eyes quickly swiveling to look at him, a devilish glint in his eyes "you'll never guess what I just saw!" he grinned, coming to a stop at the side of the blondes bed.
Abraxas raised an eyebrow and let a small smile twitch at his lips. "And what did you just see?" he questioned, putting a quill in his book to mark his page before closing it.
"I just saw Draco Malfoy, Ice Prince of Slytherin, making out with-!" he was saying excitedly when he heard said blonde yell from down the stairs,
"Harry James Potter!" Harry jumped a bit but the grin on his face just grew tenfold. Draco finally skidded into the room, his hair all messed up and his button up shirt pulled out and a couple of buttons buttoned in the wrong place. Abraxas raised his eyebrows into his hairline at the sight of his son,
"Abraxas!" Draco looked horrified, panting a little from the run, "whatever he has told you, it isnt true!"
Abraxas' eyebrows just went further into his hairline, he turned back to Harry who was grinning like a lunatic.
"Oh, does somebody not want their cousin knowing they were snogging N-" Harry started to taunt, but as the name was about to leave his lips Draco lunged at Harry and tackled him to the ground. The blonde pinned Harry down, a glare plastered firmly on his face. Harry struggled to get up but was unable to do so.
"You have a girlfriend, Draco?" Abraxas asked as he watched his son and their friend, Draco's wide eyes swiveled over to him, a deep blush blooming on his face. Harry laughed at that,
"a girlfriend? Farthest thing from it!"
"Potter I need you to shut-" Draco was starting to say angrily but Harry beat him to it.
"I just caught Draco making out with Neville Fucking Longbottom in the hallway outside the room of requirements! Neville!" Harry finally blurted out, a huge grin across his face. Abraxas' eyes widened at the news, but he made no other reaction. He did laugh however when Draco groaned loudly and let go of Harry, so he wasn't being held to the ground anymore.
The laugh caught Draco off guard, he looked over at Abraxas with furrowed eyebrows, he was expecting some homophobic tirade, but he got laughter?
Harry stood and bounced a bit on the balls of his feet, an excited grin on his face. That was until he saw Draco's face, then his grin quickly turned into a frown.
"Oh shit…" he mumbled, "he didn't know… I just outed you, didn't I?" Draco couldn't even get a response out before Harry was apologizing profusely. When Harry finally stumbled out the last of his apologies, the room was filled with an awkward silence.
"So, Draco," Abraxas finally drawled, leaning back into the pillows on his bed. "Why have you never mentioned this before?"
Draco just looked even more confused, he went and sat on his own bed, pulling one leg up to hug to his chest, suddenly unable to look his deaged father in the face. He only noticed Harry had quietly snuck out of the room when he heard the door quietly click closed.
"I assumed being gay would get me disowned…" he admitted quietly. It was silent for a few moments, Draco only looked up when he felt somebody else sit down next to him.
Abraxas pulled Draco into a tight hug, "I'm sorry I made you think that that would be my reaction…" he said after Draco had hugged him back. Draco sighed a little bit and Abraxas could feel some of the tension ease away from his body. They sat like that for a long time before they pulled away, Abraxas couldn't help but give him a crooked grin,
"I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
Draco looked confused again for a moment, but his eyes eventually widened in realization and a laugh bubbled out of him.
Downstairs in the common room Harry jumped a bit at hearing the laughter, but he relaxed when he realized that that meant everything was okay between the blondes and he hadn't just destroyed their relationship.
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Abraxas was laying on his bed in the dorm room staring up at the ceiling. He moved his hands to cover his face and he groaned loudly. Some days this whole 'getting to redo your life from 16 up' thing was pretty cool, but right now it very much wasn't.
Lucius Malfoy had never been in love. An arranged marriage contract was written up between him and Narcissa Black when they were only toddlers. He knew growing up that he didn't have a choice, he would marry a good pureblooded witch and continue the Malfoy line. It was his 'duty', as his father put it.
So that is what he had done. He married Narcissa shortly after they graduated from Hogwarts, and only a few short years later, they were expecting Draco. He was thankful for the very least that Narcissa didn't hate his guts, it made co-existing with her much easier. However, both Lucius and Narcissa knew that they just couldn't love each other, so they decided to have an open marriage. They both took lovers, although Narcissa far more than Lucius; The man never really felt any inclination to do so.
During the summer before Draco's fourth year, the two decided that they simply couldn't live like this anymore, so they had divorced. He hadn't spoken to Narcissa since well before this whole deaging situation, but from what he understood, she was living with a longtime lover of hers.
But anyway… the point is that Lucius Malfoy had never been in love, so Abraxas Malfoy (Junior? the second?) certainly hadn't ever been in love before.
Except for now.
Abraxas Malfoy was falling in love with Harry Bloody Potter, and he couldn't do anything about it.
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Harry and Draco were hanging out in the boys dorm when Harry finally asked a question that he'd been wanting to ask for a while.
"So," Harry started after a pause in the conversation "when your father got lost in the department of mysteries, did he immediately wake up as 16 again, or did he have to de-age over time?"
"Oh, Severus said he just woke up-" Draco started to say before he paused and looked up at Harry with wide eyes. Harry just raised an eyebrow at him, "how did…?"
Harry couldn't help but snort at the look on Draco's face, "Draco, we've talked for hours about your lineage before, you even showed me a family tree once. The one flaw in your story is that your father was an only child," Harry laughed at the bewildered look on his face.
"Is it weird?" Harry asked then, and Draco finally found his words again.
"It was, at first." the blonde started, leaning back in his chair, "but we quickly fell into a brother like relationship. Which I'm very thankful for. And if I'm honest? It's nice to see him like this… happy. I like getting to know who he is outside of being my father." he looked up at Harry then and saw an interesting look on his friends face and in his eyes.
Harry just nodded a little bit,
"I like seeing him happy, too."
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Abraxas was out for a walk by the lake one sunny afternoon when he spotted Harry across the grounds. The young man was sitting just out of reach of the whomping willow's swings, staring at the tree. Abraxas was curious, so he set off towards the ex-Gryffindor.
"Hello, Harry," he greeted softly as he came to sit next to him. He received a weak half-smile from Harry in return. Abraxas frowned a little, "Is everything okay?"
Harry looked away from the blondes eyes, instead deciding to look down at the ground. "Yeah…" he started, sighing as he turned to look back at the whomping willow, "just reminiscing, is all…"
"About what, if you don't mind me asking?" Abraxas turned so he was looking at Harry more fully. He noticed the way the black hair danced gracefully in the autumn wind, and the way his green eyes shone when the light would catch them.
"My godfather…" Harry responded quietly, he pulled his knees up so he was hugging them to his chest and resting his chin on them.
Abraxas had heard Harry mention his godfather only one other time, but the topic had quickly been changed. "Sirius Black, right?" the blonde asked, remembering the events that led to his arrest. When Harry nodded Abraxas continued, "What happened to him? After he escaped Azkaban, that is." At the look on Harry's face, he wasn't sure the other was going to respond, but he eventually did.
"He was an Illegal Animagus," Harry started "He was on the run in his Animagus form for the entirety of my third year. I actually met him in person for the first time, down there," he nodded his head towards the opening at the base of the tree. "In fourth year, he was still on the run with nowhere to go, I didn't hear from him a whole lot that year, I didn't hear from anybody a whole lot that year…" he sighed and looked wistfully out at the grounds.
"And then fifth year came. And I was getting sent these visions from Voldemort that he had captured Sirius and was going to kill him to get to me. I was freaking out, so far all of the other visions I had had were real events, I thought this one was too… Me and some of my friends went to the department of mysteries to try to help, but we only made things worse…" Harry slumped over himself, trying to make himself as small as possible. "While we were fighting the death eaters, Sirius squared off with Bellatrix. We were near the veil, but we didn't think anything of it, we didn't know what it did…" he trailed off momentarily as his voice cracked in emotion,
"Anyway, Bellatrix shot a stunner at Sirius, and he fell into the veil. He didn't come back…" Harry finally finished, tears freely falling down his face now.
Abraxas listened to the story closely, he had been there himself, but it was different hearing Harry's retelling of the events that night. He saw the tears that fell from the green eyes, and he pulled Harry into a side hug.
"I'm sorry, Harry," he said sincerely. He just heard the other hum a little bit, acknowledging his apology. "Do you miss him?"
"Yeah… yeah I do…" Harry whispered. Abraxas turned and pulled him into a full hug this time; He sat like that for ages, just listening to the sound of the willow tree's branches swinging through the air as he comforted his friend.
-HHLL HHLL HHLL-
Abraxas couldn't sleep. He had been abnormally anxious all day, so he assumed that was why... Either way, he couldn't sleep, and he was very frustrated by it. He tossed and turned for a while in his bed, trying his damndest to go to sleep. He cast a tempus charm after what felt like ages, and he saw the clock flash that it was past 1 in the morning.
The man sighed and decided that if he wasn't going to be able to sleep, he might as well do something during that time. Abraxas sat up and slowly opened his curtains to see the rest of the dorm. When he saw that all the other boys were asleep, he sighed again and quietly got out of bed before making his way to the common room.
Abraxas went down to the common rooms with full intentions of getting some work done, but once he got out of bed, he felt restless, and he couldn't bring himself to sit down or sit still. He started pacing around the common room, walking circles around the furniture as his hands went into his hair and pulled at it. He normally wasn't like this… Normally whatever anxieties he had he could push out of his mind, but today he just couldn't.
Lucius Malfoy had not been a good man. He had joined Voldemort's ranks just 2 weeks after his 17th birthday, and at the time he whole heartedly agreed with the monsters opinions on blood status, as was trained in him by the original Abraxas Malfoy.
So, Lucius had joined the dark lords ranks and took that stupid mark and now he had to follow the orders he was given. It wasn't but a year or two after joining the dark lords ranks that he realized he didn't believe what he had been told for so long. He had tried to get out of it, but he was branded as that man's servant, and so long as he had the dark mark, he was a slave to the lunatic.
He did horrible things during the years he was under the dark lords control. It seemed like every day for the last 20-ish years had been his own personal hell and he couldn't do anything about it. Not while he had a wife to support and a son to raise. If he spoke out of turn, if he refused to do what the dark lord wanted him to, if he tried to do anything at all, his family was threatened. So, in the end, Lucius did as he was told, and it haunted him every second.
He didn't deserve this. Any of this. He didn't deserve a redo, he didn't deserve his friends, or his son, or his life for that matter. He didn't deserve the life he was being allowed to live; he didn't deserve a redemption arc. He was an awful man with an awful purpose, and he should have been the one that was killed in the department of mysteries, not Sirius Black.
Harry was finishing up the last bit of his transfiguration homework when he heard the rustling of bed curtains. He paused what he was doing and listened, wondering if he was imagining things. He heard a sigh and then somebody moving their curtains over to get out of bed. Harry continued to listen as whoever was awake slipped out of the dorm as quiet as possible. When he heard the door to the room close shut behind the person, Harry peaked out of his own curtains to see who was up at this hour.
Harry's eyes were led straight to Abraxas' bed, and when he saw the now empty space he frowned. The blonde had been noticeably on edge all day, to the point even Professor Snape pulled him aside to ask if he was alright. Abraxas, of course, put on a fake smile for all of his friends and insisted he was fine; but really his friends didn't believe him, but they didn't want to pressure him too hard. It was then that Harry decided he was going to go check, just one last time, if he was alright.
Harry got up and made his way down the stairs towards the common rooms. When he got to the bottom of the stairs and looked out into the room, he frowned deeply at the sight in front of him.
Abraxas was still pacing around the furniture, going round and round in the same area. He had his hands in his hair, gripping hard. His eyes were screwed shut and he was mumbling to himself.
"Abraxas?" Harry called softly. When he didn't get a response, he slowly went up to the man. He called his name a couple more times, but he never got an answer. He was incredibly worried at this point; he had never seen the blonde like this before. Finally, Harry stepped up to him and put his hands on his shoulders, effectively stopping him in his tracks.
"Abraxas!" he shook his shoulders for good measure, he watched as the blue eyes snapped open to look at him, and Harry noticed for the first time that he was crying.
Abraxas hadn't heard Harry at all, hadn't heard him come down the stairs or try to call his name. The only thing he could hear was the ringing in his ears and his godawful thoughts. He was brought back to the present when he felt somebody grab his shoulders and shake him. He opened his eyes quickly, and when he saw the brunette in front of him, he wanted to feel calmed, but he just felt worse.
"Abraxas," Harry started, moving his hands from his shoulders to cup his face, "Are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked incredibly worried.
Abraxas just started crying harder, "I shouldn't be here!" he eventually choked out. Draco had told him that Harry knew who he was, so he wasn't worried about saying anything incriminating in front of him.
"I'm a monster, don't touch me!" he tried to pull away from the ex-Gryffindor, but Harry wouldn't let him,
"A monster?" Harry questioned, moving when the other did, somehow in sync, "shouldn't be here? What are you talking about?"
"I went through the wrong veil!" he insisted, as if Harry were the crazy one, "the fates fucked it up!"
Harry was still confused, he hadn't quite put the pieces together yet, but he thought maybe he was getting there. He moved the two of them until they were able to sit down on one of the couches "the fates fucked what up?" his voice was gentle.
Abraxas looked so desperate for Harry to understand, "I was supposed to go through the death veil! It should have been me who died that night, not Sirius…" his voice faded out to a whisper, he looked down so that his hair was covering his face.
Harry heard Abraxas' explanation and his heart shattered, "Oh, Abraxas…" he whispered. He moved closer and pulled the blonde into a comforting embrace. Abraxas hugged him back like he would disappear if he let go.
They sat like that for a while, Harry holding Abraxas until he finally calmed down a little bit. "Hey…" Harry started gently, looking down at his friend. "Hey, I want you to look at me…"
Abraxas was starting to calm down from the high of his emotions, now he just felt stupid. He heard Harry ask him to look at him and he lifted his head slowly.
"You listen to me, okay?" Harry started when they locked eyes, he saw hesitation cross Abraxas' face but the other nodded slightly, "the fates didn't fuck up." his voice held no room for negotiation.
"But-"
"No buts. The fates didn't fuck up. You went through the veil that you were supposed to go through that night, as did Sirius." He started running his fingers through his hair, feeling warmed when the blonde leaned into his touch,
"No, he deserved the redo, not me…" he breathed, "I have done nothing but horrible things to so many people and it feels wrong that the good guy vanishes into the abyss while the bad guy gets a new lease on life…"
"you're not a bad guy-"
"I am!" he interrupted Harry this time, "I'm just a death eater, and as long as I have that god awful mark, I always will be…"
There was silence for a moment, before Harry took Abraxas' left hand in his. The blonde looked at him confused, but Harry gave him a small smile in return.
Harry pushed the sleeve on his left arm up, "finite Incantatum," he whispered, Abraxas winced and looked away, not wanting to see disgust on his friends face, or the disgusting mark itself. Instead, he felt trailing touches on his forearm.
Abraxas turned back to Harry, looking him in the eyes confused. The brunette nodded his head towards his arm, "What mark?" he asked softly,
Abraxas scrunched up his eyebrows, what mark? The large horrid black skull and snake tattoo that's what m- he was thinking to himself when he looked down at his arm. His breath caught in his throat when he looked down and saw the pristine, unmarked skin that sat there.
"What…?" he questioned, looking back up at Harry with wide eyes.
Harry continued to trace gentle lines across his arm, "Lucius Malfoy may have taken the dark mark at 17, but Abraxas Malfoy is only 16…"
Abraxas started to cry quietly, he hugged Harry tightly, burying his face in the brunettes shoulder.
Harry hugged back just as tightly, rubbing up and down his back at a soothing pace.
"You didn't know it was gone?" he asked softly, not in a mocking way, just an honest question. He felt his friend shake his head against his shoulder.
"I have spent the last 20 years keeping it covered and making sure I never looked at it. I've kept it under glamor charms for so long I didn't even notice…" he mumbled, finally pulling his head out of the crook of Harry's neck so he could look at him.
"Thank you…" he looked Harry in the eyes and felt butterflies erupt in his stomach and chest at the look Harry's giving him,
"You're welcome," Harry answered. He stood and reached his hand out to Abraxas to help him up. "Why don't we get to bed," he offers, Abraxas smiled for the first time that night and nodded his head, he followed Harry up the stairs to the boys dorm.
As he laid down in bed that night, he stared down at his forearm for a moment before he closed his eyes. He couldn't help falling asleep to the thought of Harry, and his arms around him.
-A/N-
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked chapter 3!
-HHLL