Recommended songs: Silver Lake Queen by Diplomacy

Prometiste by Pepe Aguilar (MTV unplugged)

AN: I don't own anything of consequence. The most suing me will get you is me having a breakdown but if that's what you want to see; I have one every third day, you could just see it for free.

WARNING: Talk of saggy chubby man body parts ahead. As a rather flat in all ways woman…..boob sweat is a thing no matter the perceived smallness of said parts. EW Maybe it's my neat freak, hate body fluids personality but I hate ITTTTT! Rant over

The pudgy, balding man that was the British Minister for Magic was trembling in his ridiculous purple and reflective silver pinstripe suit. He'd dressed to what he thought was the height of fashion. He'd matched his bowler to his tie and he'd had time to have a complete fryup before he was due at the Ministry. He'd thought it was going to be a wonderful day. He'd been wrong. The drops of sweat that rolled down his body from his armpits and between his saggy man boobs were starting to wet right through his felt suit. Minister Fudge mentally cursed Dumbledore and Severus Snape to hell and back. It was their fault he was currently waiting in silence with the two men before him.

Roarke and Ashur Lansing were complete opposites from their hair down to their choice of clothes. Roarke was American, his gleaming white blonde hair was cut short and gelled back in a common 1950s style. He could have played Captain America if Captain American had been almost albino. His crisp navy suit and maroon tie were made for cooler weather. Despite looking like a Roman God, his face was surprisingly shark-like. If Fudge had known Roarke was a solicitor, he'd have understood the expression. It would not have lessened his fear and would have increased it instead so maybe he was happier in his ignorance.

Ashur Lansing was a dark skinned and dark haired Aussie. He made his living appearing in men's fashion magazines and one glance at him let everyone know why. This man was smoking with a capital 'S'. His lightweight white silk shirt and fine linen trousers almost radiated heat. His waist length curls had made the young, bored secretary swoon like a sixth year. At the moment, Ashur's smoldering heat was oppressive and angry instead of seductive.

It was into this scene that Amelia Bones and Albus Dumbledore flood. Amelia was a very professional woman so no one other than her would ever know the face she made internally when she saw the two men. Albus, however, winced when the two men were introduced. He'd hoped to be able to call the young Mr. Lansing's family after forgiving some prank or other. Whatever this was about, he was definitely not going to like it. The newcomers, however, shared an enjoyment of the plump minister's discomfort. Once the brief introductions were over, Dumbledore took the first word.

"As glad as I am to meet my students' families, Cornelius knows how busy I am and wouldn't insist on a meeting if it weren't of the highest importance."

"Your man used Legilimency on our nephew." Roarke's voice was deep and bore an accent Amelia recognized from her world tour after she'd graduated. Roarke's cool appearance and Louisiana accent were oddly complementary and Amelia wondered if she could convince him to see London's sights before he left. It took her a minute to realize the gravity of what he'd said.

"What?!" She rounded on Albus, "Dumbledore! I told you that man was unfit!"

"Amelia, Amelia, you don't know which man they mean. Besides, how can we know for sure what they're claiming is true." He turned his twinkly blue eyes on the two Lansings, both of whom had stilled in the wake of the man casually calling them liars.

"Our nephew, Hawthorne Lansing has barely been in your school," the way Ashur said school made it sound like a den of iniquity, " and he has already reported being mentally attacked by your Potions Master. I believe his name is Severus Snape. As we all know, this means your professor is in breach of international laws. Every magical country views what he did as a criminal act. We are here to inform you we are formally calling for Madame Bones to arrest this man."

"I have no doubt you are doing things as you should, I just question the validity of this attack. How can we know the boy isn't lying? Severus is a strict teacher, one who asks much of his students. As you can imagine, this has caused many to accuse him of bullying and verbal abuse."

"Perhaps you've spent too long with undisciplined children left to govern themselves. Hawthorne would never lie to his family."

"Of course, my good sir, of course. But perhaps he has exaggerated the situation. Most people haven't the ability to feel a mental intrusion. Perhaps it was just a misunderstood headache?" Cornelius was not a very smart man. If the situation were not so serious, Amelia would have laughed as he quailed and shrank under the two handsome mens' glares.

"Our family is not in the business of raising uneducated, useless members of society. Hawthorne has mastered occlumency. He was mentally assaulted and forced to reinforce his mental shields until the man gave it up as a failed job. If you still refuse to believe our claims, we can have a certified Healer evaluate Hawthorne. That should be all the proof you need."

"Amelia is our Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She'll be glad to take your report, of course." Amelia mentally sighed. Every time Fudge even looked at her, she felt patronised. It made her skin crawl that such a pathetic, low magic man thought he had any power over her. Some day, she would remind him she didn't work for him and could put him in Azkaban. Someday.

"Albus, if you would floo Minerva and have them both brought in, we can start the interviews." Amelia could have sworn Albus' damned twinkles had faded.

"Now, are we sure we want to pull them out just as classes are starting? Severus has several classes each day and wouldn't thank you for missing an entire day's worth of teaching. Young Mr. Lansing has classes as well. We would be disrupting his schedule."

"Your man will be going to Azkaban, I doubt a couple of classes will make that much difference. And Hawthorne can make up anything he misses. As I understand it, he had Potions class today. I'd rather he not have to be near that man unsupervised." Ashur's voice was heavy with derision. Amelia almost smiled at the subtle tightening of the skin around Albus' eyes. The old man was angry at being ignored. He was too used to having his word accepted even in the face of proof and over law.

"Just floo Minerva, Albus! The faster we deal with this situation, the sooner you can know if you need a new Potions Master or not!" Fudge's voice warbled a bit but no one mentioned it. Roarke Lansing's glare hadn't strayed from the damp man for anything and it was driving him closer to tears by the second. Amelia relished in his discomfort.

Albus made a big show of getting to his feet and huffing as if it pained him. Amelia almost laughed as he settled onto his knees, blowing more hot air than the Hogwarts Express on September first. His kindly, fragile grandfather persona did nothing to convince the viewers from changing their minds. In fact, Ashur's glare was steadily darkening. If looks could kill, Albus would have already been set alight. His theatrics were making the entire process drag in and it was obvious neither Lansing would reconsider. The green of the fire gave the sweaty minister an odd tint that made him even more unattractive. The droplets of sweat that had started running down the sides of his face from his brow left shiny green tracks on his skin.

"What do you want, Albus? I'm in the middle of a class and left only a portrait to oversee the students." Amelia was surprised at the tone the Transfiguration professor used on the aged Headmaster. Albus seemed a little more genuine when he sighed again before explaining the situation to his Deputy. Amelia's eyes focused more on the Transfiguration professor when she realized she didn't seem as shocked as one would normally be when told a colleague had broken such an important law.

"Do you need me to accompany Severus at the Ministry while you deal with matters?" Albus sighed heavily (and dramatically) again and assented. The fire returned to its original colour as the woman closed the Floo connection. The heavy silence permeated the room for a minute before it was broken by the sound of china against china. Amelia frowned at the now shaking and damp Minister. His cup of tea clacked ungracefully against the saucer.

"Gentlemen, I believe this might be better attended to in my office. I must interview Master Snape in the DMLE for the sake of proper process, you understand. I'll have an Unspeakable join us there to vet the memory removal process."

Fudge's look of appreciation made Amelia queasy but at least she wouldn't have to keep looking at the pathetic man. The sigh of relief when Roarke's gaze finally left his flaccid face did not go as unperceived as he had hoped. The two Lansings followed Amelia out the door and Fudge sank into his ornate chair in relief.

Kkkkkkk

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Severus Snape had only been in the DMLE offices once before. It was a time he'd rather forget but hardly could when even the odors around him were reminding him of the soul crushing guilt and anguish he'd been going through during his previous stay. He kept his eyes trained on the back of the head of the Auror that had been sent to fetch him from Hogwarts. The tall man with the stern face seemed to hate him intensely but Severus was sure he had never met the man. He supposed he could be the father or elder brother of one of Severus' students but he didn't look like anyone in particular.

Looking up wouldn't have done him any good, he knew. The minute pause in sound from the occupants of each cubicle as they passed let him know that Severus' presence was not expected but had definitely been noticed. The last eight years of graduates had passed through Severus' hands as a teacher and so at least eight years of Auror Academy applicants knew and hated him. What would the point of looking around and perhaps locking eyes with those same people? Why would he want to see their satisfaction when they inevitably realized he was being led to the interrogation rooms?

Albus walked behind him, his angry gaze on Severus' made the back of his neck stand up. Severus was unsure whether Albus was angrier at Severus' actions, the Lansings, or the Auror that had been sent to escort them. Severus was not surprised at the appearance of the Auror an hour before the first class. It had taken less time than he'd expected for the Lansings to retaliate. Severus had no plans to claim innocence when they unavoidably questioned him.

The Auror Severus had been walking behind, opened the door and stepped to one side, letting Severus fully walk into the overly bright room. The interrogation rooms had very obviously been redecorated in the last ten years. Whoever had been tasked with overseeing the changes had tripled the enchanted light crystals. The entire room was bright white and cold and left him seeing spots. Despite his compromised vision, he did not miss the Auror stopping Albus as he tried to walk into the room.

"Interviewer and interviewee only."

"I assure you I'm fully qualified-"

"And yet you're not a licensed solicitor." The annoyed, stern tones of Amelia Bones interrupted Albus' no doubt self-important rant.

"Amelia, Severus needs-"

"The man needs a lawyer good enough to con the devil. If you're so invested, perhaps you should find him one." Severus followed the voice to the intimidating man. This was what Lucius desperately tried to be. "My nephew was subjected to unauthorized Legilimency by this man, we demand he be thoroughly questioned."

Severus felt an icy feeling make it's way down his back. Every old legend about the Lansing's he'd ever heard was suddenly at the forefront of his mind. The Lansings had come for him.

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