I. Therum
Like an oven, here, Williams thought as she brought the back of her palm up to strike a path along her forehead before returning it to cradle the sniper rifle she had leaning against a convenient half wall of discarded mining gear. She peered through the scope and watched the back of her commanding officer's head as she and the lieutenant huddled behind a low rock face and took turns pinging a Colossus with their pistols til it fell. Williams watched with no small amount of envy as the two made quick work of the remaining shock troopers; Kaidan with a well-timed overload attack from his omni-tool, and Shepard with a biotic warp. Despite their similar skillsets, the two made an alarmingly efficient team, especially with crowd control, and Ashley was left feeling somewhat dwarfed in comparison, with only her old-fashioned weaponry skills to rely on.
The geth had been hitting the drop team hard ever since they landed the Mako onto Therum. Ashley caught an infantry unit right in its big, bulbous flashlight head as it poked up for a surprise attack from a hidden spot behind the entrance to the old mineshaft, and the thing hit the deck like the scrap metal it was.
"Nice shot, Chief," she heard over her earpiece, before getting the confirmatory click over the radio, signaling her it was alright to move up and regroup with the others before descending into the tunnel together.
At Shepard's order, the gunnery chief had been hanging back, taking out enemies from a distance as Alenko and the commander worked their way through the synthetic hoard. It went against nearing all her instincts and training to let a pair of valuable biotics lead the charge while a perfectly good grunt stayed behind to play it safe in the rafters. Logically, Ashley understood the reason for her assignment covering the party's back had been a strategically sound one, keeping the heat off her superiors while simultaneously not putting herself in unnecessary harm's way, but in the pit of her stomach she couldn't shake the unsettling sensation that somehow, even on a mission to save humanity — hell, maybe even the whole goddamn galaxy — she was still managing to get stuck with the shit assignments. Still not quite trusted that she could take the heat. Still having to work harder than hard and be better than the best, if only to avoid suspicion.
Still a Williams. Still blacklisted.
Even if her new commanding officer seemed blissfully unaware of her family lineage when they stood earlier, between missions, cleaning their guns while making idle conversation in the ship's main cargo bay.
Of course, that wasn't the real reason. She knew that. The choice had strictly been a tactical one, and Williams tried not to be resentful of that fact. So far, Shepard and the Normandy crew had been just about the only marines she'd worked with who'd ever even bothered to treat the chief with any of the respect her rank and abilities deserved. Though, still, a small, nagging voice in the back of Ashley's head told her this was only due to her invaluable — and still somewhat mysterious and suspect — connection to Saren and his army of tinker toys.
The Normandy and Shepard's drop team showing up on Eden Prime when they did had been nothing short of an act of divine intervention, itself, as far as Williams was concerned. By the time they had found her, knocking off a pair of geth assault drones on the outskirts of the prothean dig site, she had already witnessed those fuckers take out her entire unit, and couldn't have told you if she had tried were she bubbling over more with rage or despair from that fact. Maybe that was why she'd been so eager to fall into line behind the strong and commanding officer when offered to show Shepard and Alenko to the unearthed artifact. Maybe that was why she had let her guard down after they had dispatched of the bombs and remaining geth units left to take out the colony and had secured the perimeter as well as the inert remnants of the ancient monolith. Maybe that was why as they waited for a response from the commander's ship, Ashley had wandered a little too close to the strange and ominous looking beacon that had seemingly started all her trouble.
It hadn't looked so special at the time. Just some slightly-glowing hunk of junk for the lab rats to drool over back in Citadel space, not much different from any of the beacons and towers she would regularly help set up on these little agricultural outposts to help aim an automated defense system or increase some colonist's extranet signal. Maybe it was just the fatigue and exhaustion and still dawning realization that she was the sole survivor of the 212 that had dulled her senses enough to not react. Thinking her eyes must have just been playing tricks on her. Trying to blink away what was surely a trick of the light when suddenly that old, unassuming structure seemingly started to glow brighter, burn hotter, and the world around her felt like it was beginning to shift. By the time she registered that the hum existed anywhere else but inside her own head, eardrums still ringing from the firefight, she was already fighting to keep her footing as some unseen undertow began to drag her in toward it. Began to hoist her upwards and drive something else in. Began to send some strange, surging, arching, aching pressure down around her temples and inside her. Behind her eyes, down her throat, beneath her fingernails, through her blood.
"No! Don't touch her! It's too dangerous."
And suddenly that world forced inside her — flooding her — begun to catch fire and burn. Flash and tear and rip and claw and scream and shriek inside of her. Rattle the walls of her skull and hammer against the hollow of her chest. A splitting pain cut through her like a knife slammed into an overripe fruit. Until — finally — her senses and her sensibilities were spent. Sucked dry and set alight. And all went dark around her.
And then? About fifteen hours pass her by and she's onboard an unfamiliar ship, reporting to an unfamiliar captain, with unfamiliar nightmares sailing through her mind.
And now? Well, naturally, as the marine told herself during her more pessimistic moments, even when she was finally worth something to the Alliance brass, was it really even because of her, or just some cruel trick of fate and timing?
The first thing Ashley noticed when descending into the mine were the row of fluorescent lights accenting the walls every few feet. Unlike the rest of the planet — which was seemingly falling apart and all but abandoned by both greedy pirates and corporations alike, left to rot in its own sequestering desert heat — someone had gone to great lengths to make these ruins here beneath the surface more visible. A carefully curated excavation. Not at all like that seen at the refinery. Williams wondered if this meticulous act of precision and care was the work of the geth, or the doctor they'd been sent to this hell-on-earth of a planet to find.
"Think we're good, Commander!" Williams called once they had successfully cleared out the geth at the bottom of the entrance shaft. She punched the door activation switch and it slid shut behind her with a loud hiss. If any more of those synthetic bastards tried to come after them now, they'd at least hear them coming. The threesome came to an elevator and saw up ahead an active barrier curtain not unlike the ones the geth had used on Feros. Though this one seemed somehow different. But, neither a tech or element zero expert, Williams couldn't put her finger on what.
"They must be more heavily fortified than we realized," Kaidan said as they stepped up to observe the large, walled off section of the ruin. The only way to proceed, it seemed, was to take yet another old and frankly less-than-faith-inspiring looking elevator that stood beside the walkway.
As she looked over the edge, Ashley felt her stomach drop. She elbowed the lieutenant beside her. "Dare you to spit over the side."
They rode down the first lift in terse silence and were instantly ambushed by several assault drones as they emerged onto the level below. Once the fighting had stopped, they came upon another large space blocked off by a large, glowing barrier. "The tiles in those holes remind me of a bathroom floor," said the lieutenant, unprompted. Ahead, the commander let out a shallow breath of a laugh in response. They took the next elevator down, only for it to malfunction and come to an unsteady stop one floor below. Sinister, hot, white sparks jumped out at them as they jumped from the lift and onto the platform. "We'll have to find another way back out," Shepard said, cooly, shielding her eyes with one hand as she drew her pistol with the other. Williams heard a few clicks in her radio as the commander fell silent and signaled to each her and Alenko how she wanted the team to move forward.
Were all A-teams like this? Ashley wondered, So level-headed in a crisis? She'd never had a chance to work with the cream of the crop before, always shuffled from one crap assignment to the next before this one, and some part of her still felt uncertain of her place beside the first human spectre's side. Even if she had been all bluster and bragging when last they'd spoke privately.
A voice called out in distress rips the gunnery chief from her thoughts as she, Shepard, and Alenko come upon another of the large barrier curtains. This one, with somebody hovering inside just beyond the mouth of the hole. An asari dressed in a standard science and medical jumpsuit, suspended in the air in a fashion not unlike the effect of the stasis fields Ashley has seen Lieutenant Alenko use a few times in combat.
"Are you… Are you real?" the scientist asks, before shaking her head, "Oh no, don't be stupid, Liara. Humans do not come here, you are hallucinating! And talking to yourself… ha… Oh, Goddess! I am going to die here!"
"Dr. T'Soni, I presume," Shepard mutters as she holsters her weapon.
"How long has she been here?" Alenko asks, following suit.
"Can you tell her to keep it down?" Williams hisses, keeping her rifle out and aiming it around the room in large sweeping gestures. She can feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "This place is crawling with geth!"
"You're rude for an hallucination," the doctor pipes in, eyeing the gunnery chief with suspicion, "My subconscious must be trying to punish me for being so stupid."
Shepard threw a brief glare over her shoulder. Oops, Ashely thought, and felt her cheeks heat a little. Didn't think she'd hear me behind that big bubble. She offers a half-hearted shrug. The commander just shakes her head before returning her attention to the mission and the woman they'd been sent there to save. "We're real enough," she tells her, "Stay calm. My name's Shepard. The office of Special Tactics and Recon sent me. I'll get you out of there."
The doctor laughs, dejected despite the reassurance. "A spectre? That's good. What else would I conjure up? A protector figure. Yes, perfect. Comforting."
Beside her, the lieutenant works to suppress a snicker. Shepard tried to ignore it. Rolling her eyes, she continued, "How did you end up in there?"
"Ah yes, the figment of my imagination wants me to retrace my steps. See if I can figure out where I went wrong. Alright, I'll play along — I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up. I ran in here and activated the defenses. The barrier curtains could protect me. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. I became trapped in here. You must get me out! Please."
"You shouldn't have been messing with technology you don't understand," Ashley hears herself saying, and earns herself another quick glare from her commander.
"I know how it works!" Dr. T'Soni insists, before shaking her head, "— Ugh! Calm down, Liara, you're yelling at figments of your imagination." She looks back up at the gunnery chief, "You almost had me convinced, there; I would not expect an hallucination to be defiant."
Ashley had a retort halfway up her throat when the commander raises a hand, signaling her to can it. "It doesn't matter what you think, we'll find some way to help you."
"Hm," says the asari, "Of course. What good is an hallucination if it can't offer false hope? Listen, if you are as real as you claim, find some way past the barrier curtain and to deal with the geth, then use the control panel to release me. If you're not real, then please leave me alone; I'm tired of talking to myself."
Seeing she wouldn't get anything else out of the young woman just then, Shepard motions to her team to regroup and work on solving the next puzzle.
"That explains why these barriers are so much stronger than the ones the geth have been deploying," Kaidan says, and they crouch low and begin scanning the area up ahead, "The technology isn't geth; it's prothean."
"They sure did build their tech to last," Ashley says, with no small amount of irony. She had the nightmares and head-splitting visions to prove it. "We should have asked her about her mother, Benezia. Seen what side she was on."
"She seemed just as surprised and scared by the geth as anyone," Shepard said, shaking her head, "If she was working for Saren, why would she have run and activated the security field? It doesn't make any sense."
"We won't get any more answers out of her in that state," says the lieutenant, "We've got to get her out of here. Get her some food and water. Who knows how long she's been stuck like that."
Up ahead, they heard gunfire and the telltale mechanical shriek of more geth troopers.
"Follow my lead," Shepard says, and leads the charge.
When they finally reached the doctor, she seemed to have regressed even further into her fantasy, saying, "Now I am hallucinating that you are inside the tower. I must be getting worse! Earlier, I even imagined I heard thunder."
"We used the mining laser to bore through," Shepard corrected, already heading over to the panel and cautiously eyeing how to deactivate the security field.
"You… bored through?" the doctor asked, before gasping, "You're real, aren't you?"
"Took you long enough," Ashley grumbled, and watched as the asari's cheeks and neck lit a deep purple that must've been a blush.
"I, uh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a hallucination! I thought I was going mad. Please, get me out of here. Before more geth show up."
Just then, Shepard managed to disarm the security device, and the stasis field dropped the archaeologist onto the hard floor with a loud thud. She grunted and stands, rocking slightly before dusting herself off.
"Any idea how we get out of this place?" Alenko asks her.
"There's an elevator back in the center of the tower. It should take us out of here, come on!"
The scientist claimed ignorance about her mother's work with Saren, something Ashley found hard to believe. Kaidan pointed out that as Saren was looking for the conduit, it wasn't unreasonable to assume a prothean expert could help him find it. But there wasn't much time for further speculation. Even as the elevator began to raise them out of the prothean tower, the entire structure began to shake. A seismic event triggered by the mining laser, the doctor hypothesizes. Just as her commander manages to get a signal through to the Normandy's pilot, an ambush emerges, headed by a krogan mercenary, blocking the exit.
"Surrender. Or don't, that would be more fun."
"In case you didn't notice, this place is falling apart!"
"Exhilarating, isn't it?" he said, stepping forward and cocking his shotgun, "Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields, now hand the doctor over."
The asari doctor cowered behind the marines, saying, "Whatever it is you want, you're not getting it from me."
"She'll stay with us, thanks," answered the commander.
"Not an option," said the battlemaster, "Saren wants her. And he always gets what he wants."
Ashley couldn't help but feel some pity for the woman, even if she did have her suspicions about her. "No! No! I won't go with them!" she had shouted, activating her biotics before ducking behind the lift's command console as a firefight broke out. All around them, the prothean site continued to shutter and collapse in on itself.
"We don't have time to deal with this idiot," Shepard growled with a fury the gunnery chief hadn't seen in her before, "Charge!"
"I like your attitude," laughed the krogan, and Ashley had to agree with him. She raised her assault rifle right as the lieutenant deployed a dampening field from his omnitool and managed to drop one of the geth charging them before it could get its kinetic shields back up.
It was a tough fight. One not made easier by the fact she had to keep checking over her shoulder to make sure none of the battlemaster's lackeys had gotten their synthetic claws on the asari. At one point, Ashely saw the blue glow of a biotic attack from over her left shoulder, and turned in time to see a geth shock trooper being thrown off the ledge behind her, having managed to sneak up behind her and raised up its gun to butt her in the back of the head. "Thanks, L.T.," she called out, before realizing Kaidan was nowhere to be found. Looking back around her, she saw the doctor unclench her fist as a blue glow around her person began to fade. The exertion of the strike seemed to drain any remaining strength she had in her, and the woman collapsed to the floor.
"Help her!" Shepard called out as she finished off the krogan. Ashley holstered her gun to its place on her back before ducking down and grabbing the asari up in a fireman's carry as they ran for the exit and Normandy's awaiting evac. We'll call that even, she said to herself as she felt the doctor gasp and grip her tightly as they made for the exit, only narrowly escaping the collapsing volcano around them as they went.
Back onboard the Normandy, Ashley barely had time to freshen up and get into a clean uniform before called to the debriefing. As she entered the comm room, the rest of Shepard's inner circle were already deep into conversation catching the asari up on the events prior to her arrival.
"Do you know anything about the Conduit?" Alenko asked.
Dr. T'Soni gave a weak shrug and answered, "Only that it was somehow connected to the prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."
"Damn!?" Williams said as she takes a seat and leans back to cross her legs, "I hope I look that good when I'm your age."
The doctor looked down, and Ashley could have sworn she saw another blush color her cheeks. When Shepard asked her to clarify, Liara went on to explain that to the asari she was barely considered more than a child. "That is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans."
She seemed bitter, Ashley thought, no stranger to unfair assessment and poor treatment by others beyond her control, herself.
"They were wiped out by the Reapers," Shepard stated before Williams had much time to dwell on the idea further, "A race of sentient machines."
"The 'reapers'?" T'Soni parroted with some hesitance, "But I have never heard of the— How do you know this? What evidence do you have?"
"I saw it," Ashley cut in, no small amount of venom in her voice as she eyed the young doctor, "There was a damaged prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned some crazy visions into my brain."
"We're… still trying to sort out what it all means," the commander added after a moment.
"Visions?" replied the archeologist, her eyes growing large, "Yes — that makes sense! The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. But the beacons were only programmed to interact with prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear." She looked at Ashley in a way that made the gunnery chief resist the urge to squirm a little. Something just shy of deference in her tone as she concluded, "I am… amazed you were able to make sense of it, at all! A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Miss Williams."
"This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit," Kaidan butted in after a brief but tense pause.
"Of course, you are right. I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me."
Make sure it doesn't happen again, Ashley wanted to bark, not at all interested in being gawked at like some kind of science experiment.
"And then there was the Cipher," Tali noted. Of all the aliens Shepard had brought into the mission so far, Tali was the one Ashley could stand the most. Maybe because Shepard had taken them on a few missions together, no doubt counting on their all but equal loathing of the geth to make for good fuel in a fight. And if that were the case, she'd been right. The quarian continued, "I'm not sure what that other asari did to you, Ash, but she did something."
"The Cipher?" said Dr. T'Soni as her head swiveled back to Ashley, "Another asari gave it to you? Hmm." She stood and took a few steps towards the center of the room in Ashley's direction, before pausing briefly. Despite herself, the gunnery chief felt herself tense up. She still didn't trust this lady. Not as far as she could throw her. Which, based on how easily she carried her off of Therum, would actually be pretty damn far. "I would like to try something…" she was saying, before turning to Shepard and adding, "With your permission, Commander."
The spectre turned and looked to the newest marine under her command, "Williams?"
Ashley was momentarily stunned by the commander's willingness to let this be her decision. And she felt a warmth gather in her stomach before it quickly turned to knots as she realized the rest of the crew was waiting for her answer. She sat back up straight and eyed the doctor, leerily, who failed to meet her gaze. "What is it?"
"One of my people gave you a deeper understanding of the visions, but you still cannot put all of the pieces together. I might be able to help you."
"How?"
"Like the asari who gave you the cipher, I can join my consciousness to yours. Maybe my knowledge of the protheans will help clarify your vision."
"Forget it!" Ashley spat, raising up her hands in defiance, "I already had my brains scrambled twice for this mission. Nobody's messing with my head anymore! I'm sick of these visions!"
Was she acting childish? Probably, but could anyone really blame her? When the asari on Feros — What had her name been? Shiala? — had finished her little mind mash, Ashley had come to with a splitting headache, twice as many weird visions, and still no more solid a grasp on what she had witnessed. Shiala had claimed she was sorry if the chief had suffered from the experience — Yeah, I'll bet, Ashley had told herself — but that it was necessary; now it seemed this T'Soni character was telling her the same thing.
"I understand your reluctance, chief," replied Dr. T'Soni, presently, with a tone in her voice far kinder than it had any right to be, "but the visions are already there. I only want to help you make sense of them. It may be the only way to stop Saren."
Ashley felt her stomach twist, and her eyes shot over to Shepard, but the commander just regarded her with a cool neutrality. Arms crossed, leaning back against the comm station with a practiced ease, as if the group were discussing something as mundane as where to go for dinner on their next shore leave. A part of Ashley wished the commander would just order her to do it, but, even knowing Shepard only the short time she had, she knew she wouldn't. It wasn't her style. And a small, infantile part of her hated her for that. No wonder the Alliance wanted her as the first human spectre, she told herself.
She clenches her fist and sighs, then stands and steps up to where the doctor and commander are standing in the center of the room. "Fine," she answers, "Looks like we don't have a choice. Just do it."
"Relax, Chief," the asari says, and steps closer, before her eyes turn dark and Ashley recognizes a shorthand of the phrase Shiala had spoken when giving her the Cipher, "—Embrace eternity."
Williams felt herself racked by another onslaught of violent imagery. Burning worlds, enormous and monstrous sounds and creatures, alien species she did not recognize fighting with unfamiliar weapons and technology. She came to with a gasp as both she and the doctor were released from the bond. It took her a moment to realize the commander had a hand on her back, helping to steady her.
"That was incredible!" Dr. T'Soni was saying, shaking her head and seemingly elated, "All this time! All of my research! Yet, I – I never dreamed-!" she seemed only then to regain her composure. Her barely suppressed excitement made Ashley ball her fist and resist the urge to sucker punch her right in the gut. But she bit back her temper. A marine socking an unarmed civilian? Not a good look, especially on a Williams. The doctor went on, "I am sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so… intense. You are… remarkably string-willed, Chief Williams. What you've been through — what you've seen — would have destroyed a lesser mind."
"Yeah, yeah, get to the point," Ashley said, fighting to ignore the way a heat was rising up along her neck as the tone of unearned deference again returned to the doctor's words.
"Did you see anything useful?" Kaidan asked, and the gunnery chief was thankful when the asari's inhumanly blue eyes ticked away from her for a moment to look over at the lieutenant.
"The beacon on Eden Prime," she answered, "must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are…" she shrugs, "are missing. The data transferred into the chief's mind is incomplete."
"More asari mumbo-jumbo." Williams muttered, standing and flexing her fingers as she fought against the sense that her stomach was bottoming out from under her. "Just another waste of time."
Beside her, Shepard placed a reassuring hand on the marine's arm before looking back to the asari and asking, "You're sure you didn't come across any clue or hint? Something we may have missed?" Shepard asked.
"Everything I saw," Liara answered, "You already know. But there was data missing from your vision. Saren must have that missing information. Perhaps he found another beacon. If we can find the missing information we can—" suddenly, the doctor looked pale and began to lose her footing. On impulse, both Ashley and the commander reached out to help her stand. The doctor looked faint and brought her hand up to the back of her head like a blushing bride, and Ashley nearly barked a laugh at the inherent melodrama of the pose.
"I'm sorry," she said, righting herself and pulling away from the hold of each marine. "I'm afraid I am feeling a bit light-headed."
"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?" Alenko asked, "Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you."
"It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with shock."
After some back and forth, the asari agreed to be looked at by the ship's doctor. Perhaps Ashley shouldn't have been surprised when Shepard added that she thought Liara should remain onboard — an offer she quickly accepted — before dismissing the remaining crew and having Joker patch her through to the council to send her official spectre report and mission updates.
As they exited the room, Ashley followed Kaidan down the stairs and towards one of the terminals he was often seen using during their time between missions. "Not sure I buy Dr. T'Soni's story," she told him as they watched the Commander escort the alien archeologist into the med bay, "About her and her mom not talking. Their family, right?"
"Not everybody's family is so close knit as yours, Chief," came a response that made the marine all but jump out of her skin as she turned to see the commander standing beside her. She hadn't expected her to walk out of medical so soon.
"Yes ma'am," she answered, on impulse.
"I think she's being straight with us," Shepard continued, "Or, at least, I don't think she lies very often."
"Yeah," Ashley said, her wicked streak emerging as she added, "She's probably really bad at it. Hey, want me to ask her about her sex life? Might be illuminating." Beside her, she sees the lieutenant smirk and shake his head, returning his attention to his work at the terminal in a somewhat halfhearted fashion.
"Don't be cruel, Chief," the commander says, before patting her lightly on the arm, "I don't think she's used to teasing, good-natured or otherwise."
"No fun, Commander," Ashley answers, rolling her eyes. She's about to walk away when the commander's hold on her arm tightens for a moment.
"Though—" Shepard continues.
Uh-oh.
"Since you're offering to talk with her—"
Oh, no.
"It might not be a bad idea for the two of you to spend some time together. She might be able to help us piece together some more information from your visions."
Ugh, me and my big mouth.
"And to check in on her, make sure she's doing alright after the joining and the shock of being stuck in those ruins by the geth for so long." Shepard pats Williams on the shoulder one last time before heading back up towards the stairs to the main bridge, calling out behind her with a wicked smile of her own, "Thanks for volunteering, Chief. Told you that you'd fit right in on the Normandy!"
"Damn it," Ashley mutters as she hears the L.T. snickering beside her.
"Better get on that, Williams. Pretty sure that was a direct order."
She thumps him in the back of the head before slumping off to the medical bay.
AN: Feel free to leave a kind word; they are very much appreciated!