AN: Please be aware that I've released the final chapters of the story all together, so be sure you are not accidentally skipping the first two parts of this three-part finale. Thank you & enjoy.
XI. Epilogue
"Let us twain walk aside from the rest;
Now we are together privately, do you discard ceremony,
Come! vouchsafe to me what has yet been vouchsafed to none—Tell me the whole story,
Tell me what you would not tell your brother, wife, husband, or physician."
-'To You.'
Walt Whitman
By the time resources could be gathered and a proper research team sent, Vigil, along with nearly all other indiginous technology on Ilos, was sadly inoperative. Few records were discovered, as most had likely been burned or otherwise destroyed by the Prothean research team before their final mission through the prototype relay. Ashley was reminded of the ancient city of Masada, whose occupants had burned anything of value and taken their own lives rather than letting Roman conquerors enslave them, but not without first leaving all their remaining food stores out and untouched on display as one final act of defiance to prove to their invaders that they had not died of starvation during the siege.
"It is a terrible shame," Liara said from her spot, kneeling not far from the Conduit, and she rose to meet the gunnery chief as she walked up, "that without records of its construction, this prototype relay is no less impenetrable than its Reaper-built counterparts."
There you go again, T'Soni, thought Williams with a smile, Using the word 'penetrate' like we'd all just be okay with that.
"Can't you, you know, crack it open and dissect it?" she asked as she circled around the base of the enormous structure, "I thought half the reason scientists could never really study the relays was because they couldn't risk any of them breaking."
"True," agreed the doctor, "But imagine asking a child to disassemble and reconstruct an FTL drive. The task would be nearly impossible without guidance." She shook her head as she looked on in awe. "The minds it must have taken to construct this." She paused. Then softer: "What I wouldn't give…"
"There aren't any prothean beacons around with a copy of the user's manual?" the marine teased.
Laughing, Liara shook her head, "None that I've seen, sadly. And even if there were, I somehow doubt our resident translator would volunteer herself for the task."
You could say that again! Ashley thought.
The headaches and nightmares had decreased to manageable levels. Enough that she'd been allowed back on assignment, at least, though not without strict requirements about speaking with an Alliance headshrink once every couple of weeks via long-range comm. Despite all of her symptomatology suggesting PTSD, Williams was still staunchly of the opinion that the lingering problems dogging her were simply a result of the Cipher and her various beacon encounters. But there were times when she'd talk about it, her nightmares or the events of Eden Prime, and she could see the conflict in Liara's eyes and knew that her lover was worried for her. But Ashley had been climbing the walls sitting in partial-outpatient in the Alliance hospital on the Citadel, and had all but outright bribed or threatened the doctors there to give her a clean bill of health.
Ultimately, the gunnery chief suspected it was Shepard's doing that got her put back on active duty, likely having charmed the staff into agreeing that a lite assignment would be good for the career soldier. Something simple and serene, like spending a month or so heading the garrison in charge of protecting a modest group of archeologists who'd gone to gather some hopefully-enlightening intel from Ilos.
Few seemed as interested in discoveries regarding the protheans themselves — other than the lead archeologist, that was — as they were the possibility of unlocking the secrets of the mass relays. Unfortunately for said lead archeologist, that more than likely meant that funding for the project would soon dry up, and the day was swiftly approaching when her team would have to pack their bags and meager findings and be off to greener pastures. Fortunately, Williams had received confirmation from secure channels that there was still a spot waiting for her and said archeologist back aboard the Normandy when that day inevitably arrived.
"We never did discover why the beacon on Virmire failed to react to anyone but you." The doctor's musing pulled Ashley from her thoughts, and she watched as Liara worried her lip in contemplation. "Possibly some kind of failsafe or security measure? To ensure the beacon was only accessed by a prothean mind? And you had already been marked by previous encounters."
"The beacon on Eden Prime activated just fine," Williams countered.
"That one had sustained far more damage. Its secondary systems may have been faulty or otherwise inoperational."
Not a pleasant thought when the thing in question had been messing around in my head, Doc. Williams wanted to tell her. "Yeah? In that case we better keep you far away from any more we may find. What with your track record with prothean security measures." The doctor scowled at her for an instant before catching herself, and Ashley made no attempt to hide her self-satisfied smile. "No boring lasers around this time, either. So, you know, watch out."
The asari rolled her eyes and Williams saw briefly the telltale flare of biotics activating before feeling an invisible force lightly shove her off-balance as Liara turned back to her work. She stood, scratching down notes into her field journal, and Williams searched the horizon for any signs of activity. Just how Liara was still taking notes on an inactive hunk of metal that hadn't so much as blinked its pilot light at them since they'd returned to the planet was beyond Ashley. But there was something endearing about the way her brow would crease in concentration as she'd go about jotting down some observation or wayward thought.
It was late in the evening, and the sky was a blazing red-orange as the sun set behind the grassy dunes. The rest of the research team had already retired to their temper tents, pitched along the far side of the facility. Williams collapsed her rifle and returned it to the holster along her back before coming up behind the doctor and snaking her arms around her stomach. She pulled her backwards into a gentle embrace as she set her chin comfortably atop one of the asari's slender shoulders. She kissed her at the place where the collar of her jumpsuit met her neck, and felt a warm shutter beneath her lips.
Liara tensed slightly, unused to the public display of affection. It was somewhat unbecoming for the gunnery chief to be fraternizing with one of her charges, so the pair had kept their affair to themselves, electing to save acts of intimate affection for private moments like these. Even so, it had taken the rest of their team less than three solar days to realize the two carried a flame for each other, and it wasn't long before they'd begun teasing both their lead security officer and project head in turn. Liara had been terribly embarrassed about it at the start, stuttering and turning two shades darker at every crass remark or innuendo, but managed to loosen up a bit after Ashley had assured her it was all in good fun. And once the cat was out of the bag, they had dropped any pretense and begun sharing a tent.
From then, it had taken about a week for Liara to ask Ashley into her bed, and another two days after that for the marine to build up the courage to accept. It had been a touch awkward, as first times often were; but the doctor had been eager and a quick study, and it hadn't taken long for Ashley to abandon her own callow reservations, either.
With the sunset came the night songs of the planet's native insects. When the light from the sky had grown so dim as to deny the doctor so much as the sight of the notebook in front of her, they'd turned and headed back to basecamp. Williams carved out a path, using the torch on the end of her rifle to light the way. As they brushed along the leaves of the bushes, strange bugs with phosphorescent wings that spun like blades of a helicopter lit up with a light blue glow and took off all around them. They danced through the muggy night air, humming quietly, and on occasion Ashley would absently reach out and cup one in her hand like a firefly. The wildlife was sparse here, but occasionally at this hour they would spot small insectivores; tiny creatures that appeared to Ashley like a cross between a lemur and a small bobcat. Their eyes shone when the light from her rifle caught in their reflective membrane. The jungle breathed in as it watched them, pressing in deeper and sighing heavily with each passing step in near-silent judgement of these strangers and their voyeurism. A damp breeze whispered in through the thick canopy.
That night, Williams sat up in bed as T'Soni typed up her field notes into the official daily report on an old, weatherproof terminal that shuttered frightfully every time she booted it up and took nearly three minutes to so much as load an email. The archeologist had the charming habit of muttering to herself as she typed, drafting and redrafting her thoughts as they came to her, occasionally pausing, hands poised to pounce over the keys, only to bring a curled index finger up to touch delicate lips, as if the words needed to be whisper to her fingertips first before transcribing. And though Ashley tried to focus on the words of her worn copy of Whitman's Leaves of Grass, she instead found herself intrigued and enraptured by the doctor's half-overheard hypotheses.
"What does that even mean?" she'd asked, before repeating back the phrase the doctor had been wording and rewording for the past few minutes. "How do you make sense of all that?"
"I could show you," Liara offered, and moved to sit on the edge of the cot.
Williams was wary, and felt herself stiffen up as the doctor reached out her hand.
"Let me show you," she coaxed, in that gentle, calming voice that sent a searing heat trickling down the officer's spine.
Neither of them had mentioned the joinings since Virmire, but Ashley had known the moment was coming. The group's anthropologist — a stern, salarian woman with pencil thin lips and light-grey skin dusted someplaces amber-gold — had asked Dr. T'Soni about asari mating rituals during dinner on one of the first nights of the expedition, after having spoken in painful length about her own species' copulation practices. Williams had felt T'Soni's eyes flick briefly over her as she spoke of the numerous misconceptions about her kind while attempting, without being too graphic, to explain just how a mating meld was different from a standard joining. The gunnery chief had kept her head down, feigning intense interest in her rehydrated biscuits and gravy.
She no longer had time or the race to Saren to hide behind. Facing her discomfort with her own vulnerability had been a difficult enough task when speaking with her Alliance-assigned psychologist. Memories of Lt. Alenko and the 212 still clung to her like the smell of cigarette smoke on her father's old jackets — but even had they not, she had always been a very private person. The thought of someone else crawling around in her mind continued to disquiet her in ways she failed to articulate, despite the handful of times she had tried.
"I would only be sharing my thoughts with you," Liara said, as if having read her mind, already, "not seeking yours. And they will not be so jarring as the Cipher."
Ashley felt her heart in her throat. She took a few breaths to steady herself.
"Alright. Just tell me what to do."
She watched as T'Soni closed her eyes, and as they reopened black her consciousness poured over Ashley like cool water. Thoughts slipped over her like a crisp stream might trickle down smooth stones in an autumn woods. First was an alien sensation that tingled at the base of her skull like fingers carding through her hair, before images began to follow. They were gentle and airy and not at all like the frantic and apocalyptic sights that had burned through her on Eden Prime. She saw the monoliths and sculptures that littered the grounds outside their tent, then beyond. Therum, Kopis, Eletania. Felt soft clay and wet dirt beneath her fingers. Heard the light thud of a trowel entering dry earth and the whispers of a field brush dancing over delicate remains.
With the sensations next came an understanding. Structures that had once seemed alien now felt warm and familiar. Against the backdrop of countless other sites like it, smaller details began to emerge and patterns along with them. Recognition of architectural similarities, knowledge of the methods that had built them, theories of their purposes and cultural significances … And alongside it all, a deep and abiding sense of reverence and wonder, and a fierce and burning hunger to uncover the details of every last one. To untangle the mystery like a thread pulled from a tapestry and watch it unravel in all its splendid, glorious color and detail.
I saw and heard, and knew at last The How and Why of all things, past,
And present, and forevermore. The Universe, cleft to the core.
As the joining faded, Ashley opened her eyes. She felt it all slowly begin to slip away. The thoughts fell from her like water rolling off petals in a springtime rain, leaving her tempered and calm, but slightly wanting. Like she'd lost a piece of herself. The absence felt haunting, and she longed for its return. Is this how it felt, she wondered, when Liara said the visions never lasted long in her memory once the bond was broken?
"That was… wow." she murmured, not afraid to sound dumbfounded, and Liara breathed a laugh beside her. "Is it always like that? I mean, usually?"
She nodded. "I told you."
"I know," she said, and for once she really did. "I should have trusted you."
"I am not surprised you did not. Your first experiences were… traumatic." She ran her hand softly down the side of Ashley's cheek. "I wish you could have had the genuine experience first." An impish smile briefly gracing her features, "And I wish it could have been I who'd given it to you."
"T'Soni, don't tell me you've got a bawdy streak?"
"We may be discovering it together."
"I can manage that."
"Oh, can you?" The glint in her eyes was wicked.
Ashley laughed a little breathless as she took her up in her arms and brought her into an embrace atop the small cot. Their kisses were mellow but ardent, and grew swiftly hungry in nature. The doctor shifted her placement to a straddle, and took Williams' face between her hands; one swept along her jaw to hook her neck and pull her in tightly, as the other moved to loose the tie that held up her hair. Her book was pushed aside, and the field notes for the day went untranscribed. Hot breath on warm skin, beneath alien skies, neither noticed when a light rain began outside. Quietly it fell, sounding soft taps upon the canopy of their tent.
Elsewhere, in the lonely expanse between thoughts and things and places, they each knew something terrible was coming. Days perched on the horizon in which heavens would burn and titans would wage war against mortals. But there, just then, that night, they were each of them fiercely, terribly, beautifully alive. Baptised beneath the summer storm, the rain drenched the campsite and washed from them any moment or thought or place but that of each other. They moved against one another, whispering prayers against skin that was scorched by teeth and by nails and by heavenly, hungry, desperate desire. The night swallowed them whole, and when the next morning unfurled around them like a blossom, Ashley felt within herself the crisp arrival of something new and wonderful. It burned like starlight in her chest, and terrified her so fervently she feared she might cry.
The rain-soaked morning was grey and bright, and the empty quiet bid her forward, to places within herself yet undiscovered and awaiting.