Friday, December 2nd, 1960
East County Jail, Thousand Oaks, CA
4:35 p.m.
His calmly uttered words were a thundering chaos to her ears.
"There isn't any money left. Ivaleigh, Lailea, and I, and a few others, raided one trailer, before we let half of Skid Row make short work of the other three. All of it's gone to better uses. ALL of it's gone, Mom. And even if it wasn't, I still wouldn't help you. I won't do that to Ivaleigh. Not to myself, either, I prefer my conscience clean."
Some part of Benita had to marvel at Rafael for that, for how calm and collected he'd been, almost cold, detached.
They had been let out of their cells for some dinner in the outdoor picnic area; the other few inmates that were incarcerated with them were lounging near the fence, some smoking and playing Poker, others eating.
The sun was almost finished setting, a cooling winter chill biting at the air, a light wind ruffling at the outdoor Christmas decorations that had been popping up for the last several days.
Christmas had always been an enormous deal for their family; every year, they would plan their own small version of Festival de la Luz, for which each house would get decorated, one per day over a three day period; they had also been planning for their annual trip to San Jose, Costa Rica, for the Tope Nacional de Caballos (the national horse parade), and the Carnival Nacional.
Is this what a heart attack feels like?
"He ... what ... ?" Diego managed to whisper, his voice rattling while he stared in dazed shock and rising horror at Benita. Sara, Juan, and Pilar were no better, the full, crippling, every-last-thing-falling-to-pieces extent of what Rafael had done slowly sinking in.
A stroke?
An aneurysm?
First Julio, and all of his bedroom preferences. Then Elena, going back on all of her promises to behave herself – according to Daniela, she was now staying in a hotel suite with Michael Carrington's sister and her girlfriend. Then Sofia, proclaiming that she wanted to stay with Rafael, asking if her cousin could be granted legal guardianship after he turned eighteen. Then Enrique, and all his hemming and hawing over where he stood in the scheme of everything.
And now THIS?!
Daniela, it seemed, was the only one left that was on their side. And there was nothing she could do to help them.
Benita's heart was still hammering, even though it had been nearly half an hour since she and Rafael had spoken; she was shivering, her appetite completely destroyed. "I can't say it plainer than I have." She had yet to cry, and didn't think that she would; this was a wound that surpassed tears.
Rafael, what in the hell of God's holy heaven were you thinking?
Diego's expression was darkening, evolving into something brutal and unforgiving. "He's betrayed us. Just as Sofia did. Just as Ju – just as the two fairy-lovers have."
How can you say a clean conscience when you – ?
Benita stiffened, fiery stabs racing up and down her spine, her gut twisting painfully, even as she felt drained, reeling, heartbroken. She knew it was the truth, he had betrayed them all, it was an icy reality grinding at her bones ...
But still ...
Juan and Pilar were already shaking their heads, furious and desperate. "We've told you before, Diego, Sofia's fate isn't for you to decide. Neither is Elena's. God will see to Elena's sinning. Sofia will face her own punishment through Pilar and I."
But still, he was her son. Her only child. The rage might come, provided there was any room past this sense of burning emptiness. But still ... "The same goes for Rafael." Benita breathed out on a choking rasp, her eyes taking on a wild, frantic gleam. "I will tend to him when the time comes."
I have to. How could he ... ?
"I certainly hope so. Because of one, we're locked up. Because of another, we have no money to save ourselves." Diego looked around at them all, unyielding. "What do you feel should warrant a punishment? I have a few ideas."
"You're not in charge of this family, Diego." Pilar bit out. "And you'll not bring harm to my daughter, your niece, for anything."
"Hold your tongue and we won't sell you out before the judge." Juan offered, with caustic, ringing finality; he and Diego glared balefully at each other, brothers by law (Benita, Pilar, and Sara were all sisters), neither one backing down.
"Stop, Diego, please?" Sara entreated, a desperate, burning, tear-stained edge to her voice. "We're divided enough as things are. We are all betrayers, we are all betrayed." She wasn't about to mention, even to herself, really, that she missed Julio's smart-aleck sense of humor. She also couldn't un-see Ivaleigh's and Lailea's faces, couldn't unhear the account of what the Millers had suffered.
Guillermo, filthy bastard, this is your fault.
"SO YOU AGREE WITH RAFAEL?!" Diego thundered, and everyone else in the yard looked in their direction, guards and jailbirds alike; two guards strode closer, to break up the meeting, while Sara shrunk back, staring towards the ground, while Benita stood, too restless.
"They don't agree with what he's done anymore than I do, Diego." she said, her expression frightening. Her tone of voice turned mildly hysterical, the words almost rambling out, choking and flat and full of misery – Rafael, how could you do this to us?
"But what's been done can't be undone."
That realization was ringing louder than a canon blast straight into Benita's ears.
We're fucked.
"There's no way out of this without making everything one hundred times worse. I know you know what I'm talking about."
How could you choose a whore over your family? Over me?
"You're condoning – "
"None of us here are condoning anything. But we won't let you hurt our children." Pilar swore, standing as well and looking just as fierce.
"All right, break this little family gathering up, this ain't the Day of the Dead! Back to your cages, all of you!"
RAFAEL HOW COULD YOU – ?!
"You'll have to disown him, Beni." Sara muttered in her sister's ear as quietly as she could while they marched back inside, the guard just behind them. "It's probably the only way to stop Diego from doing something even more stupid than what Guillermo did."
"What're you two Spanish birds talkin' about up there?" the guard demanded in a loud, rasping tone.
"Justice." Sara answered smoothly, barely glancing over.
"Ironic." the guard countered, his tone pitiless.
Justice ... justice is ice and burning coals ...
Was this what mindless panic tasted like, a lemon-drenched knife cutting at the back of the throat?
Benita's tongue felt thick in her mouth, a hysterical laugh trying to force its way out.
What difference would disowning him make?
What difference does anything make? The money's gone.
It's all over.
The tears and the sour, compressing emptiness did come later.
Benita didn't know if she'd ever be able to look her son in the eye ever again.
At around six p.m. that night, Leonard Miller came to a stop in front of the cell enclosing his kid sister, who looked far worse for wear from nearly two weeks without a good hot shower or a decently hot meal.
It took a moment for her to recognize him – it had been decades since they had last met – after which they stared at each other for a long time.
"You should have helped me." she finally hissed.
"You wouldn't let me." he fired back sadly. "Then you left. Mom and Pops were trying to protect you. Just because it made no difference to them about Lyle doesn't mean anyone else would have seen it that way. The neighbors were all raising hell, I know you remember that. And Lyle made his own choice, not believing you. And no, I never told. I should have, regardless of the fire. God knows, I'm guilty of that. Everything was my fault, too."
She looked away from him. "Just get out."
"Everything from New Augusta and here is on you, though, Gertie. And so help me, I will do absolutely everything I can to make sure you never see Lailea or Ivaleigh ever again after this is over."
"You fucking GODDAMN THINK YOU'RE HOLIER THAN THOU ART BASTARD, GET OUT!"
Don't we raise our kids to be better than us? Leonard wondered forlornly, walking away.
On Saturday afternoon at one o'clock (while Davey was finally completely waking up to his father's face, and while Michael was spending several hours working on the motorcycle), at a mostly empty, out-of-the-way restaurant in Granada Hills, was the meeting concerning Diamond's adoption, between Caitríona, Lailea, the family lawyer, and the adoption social worker.
Ivaleigh, along with her aunt, uncle, and cousin, came along to show their support, and Lailea was holding Diamond as she, her sister, and Caitríona sat down, a blanket up to Diamond's shoulders, her face just visible as she slept.
The Millers sat a table away, an audience. Scarlett and Brielle were heading back for Long Island the next day, not really able to afford on missing too much work or school, while Leonard was staying with his parents until they were ready to leave; arrangements were in the making for the Storm twins to move in with Paula, Ted, and Michael; it would be a contest to see which of them took Sandy's old room, and who got the guest bedroom, since Ivaleigh preferred to have everything in order, while Lailea was remorselessly messy (they'd stolen each other's clothes more often than not).
Following the introductions and the quick recap of the situation by Caitríona, the family lawyer, Drake Barrett, stared with fixation at Ivaleigh (even as he took in the cuts on her face, and Lailea's slowly healing black eye), while the adoption social worker, Lisa Collins, glanced back and forth for a long, silent moment between the toddler girl and her would-be mother.
"Is there a problem?" Caitríona asked, a bit stiffly, eyeing Lisa closely.
"It's merely, our adoption agency is almost always in alliance with the firm where Mr. Barrett works. Both sides generally encourage adoptions within the same race." Lisa spelled out coolly (all chin-length red hair, cold green eyes, and sharp fingernails, and Lailea and Ivaleigh, along with the Millers, were trying not to marvel at that), while Barrett continued to stare at Ivaleigh, nearly frowning, something in his expression pleading – a tall man, he was brutally handsome, tanned, and well-built, with dark eyes and thick blond hair.
Lailea felt the color drain from her face, while Ivaleigh had to bite her tongue, refusing to look in Barrett's direction, with hope that it would make him realize that she wasn't playing bedroom games anymore. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass him in front of a colleague.
Embarrassment's probably the only way t' get the message across. Not that the sorry bastard ever minds it.
"Fortunately for this small girl, I'm color-blind." Caitríona returned crisply, straightening. "And you are not being asked for your opinion. Diamond Storm needs someone who can take care of her. Lailea has asked me to step in, and I am both glad and willing – "
"But you're white, miss. And that baby is not. American culture will likely not be accepting of such a situation."
Barrett glanced at Lisa, wondering what her point was.
"American culture is changin' all the time." Lailea retorted coldly, sending Lisa a rigid glare. "An' since you practice in such matters, you ought to know that campaigns in the fifties had whites lookin' into transrace adoptions. If ya ain't done your homework, have a gander at the Johnston family, from Washington, they took a black child in when she was a baby, an' this was in forty-four. Or what 'bout the adoption in forty-eight, in Minnesota, the same year the Children's Bureau began includin' race in its reportin' system?"
Ivaleigh and Barrett hardly had time to admire the research Lailea had done before Lisa was responding, her eyes narrowed. "Yes, we know about all of that, thank you. We both know our careers and the laws surrounding them. But a number of white parents who take on colored children experience violence and harassment."
Blah blah blah blah blah ... Brielle thought, her eyebrows raised, while Leonard and Scarlett both shook their heads.
Good grief, honest to God and Jesus, what difference does it make?
"And you're concerned for my welfare?" Caitríona concluded, her tone colder than before. "How kind of you. Will you help us, or will we be taking our business elsewhere?"
"Hello, Ivaleigh." Barrett reached to grab her arm, unable to stop himself, the need whipping against his veins – it had several weeks since he'd been able to play – and Ivaleigh moved faster, snatching her fork up and driving it down into the top of his hand, drawing thick drops of blood. He hissed, wincing painfully, yanking his arm back, and she finally looked at him, taking in his pleased, relieved smirk, her expression icy and full of defiance, her chin raised.
"Hands t' yourself, Barrett."
Leonard and Scarlett were frozen in their seats, while Brielle stared, slack-jawed, while Caitríona blinked – the moment had happened so fast – straightening fully, while Lailea's widened eyes flew over to her sister, her mouth hanging open some. Lisa's expression wasn't any better.
"Care to elaborate, Ivaleigh?" Caitríona prodded after a long, silent moment, while Barrett, calmly, began cleaning the wound up with his napkin and some of the ice water from his glass.
"One of my customers. The more pain an' humiliation, the better."
Ivaleigh nearly spat the words, her tone drenched in (feigned) animosity, as Lisa stared, rigid – in backroom conversations, Drake Barrett's submissiveness towards women was almost legendary; the chaos his ex-wife had put him through, both in and out of the courtroom (after she'd learned of his affairs and fetishes), was more than proof enough of that. He hadn't even seen his daughter and son in almost three years. In spite of all that (or maybe because of it), he was a master in his career field. If the loss of his family bothered him at all, he didn't let it show, and still sought out dominate partners left, right, and center, seemingly unable to help himself.
The selfish jellyfish.
But a seventeen-year-old?
Are you out of your mind, Barrett, what the hell are you thinking?!
This was a polite setting, however. Here, at least, Barrett would have to behave himself. So would Lisa, to an extent.
The Millers stared, all eyes superglued to the scene.
"I'm on good terms with a few of the girls on Sunset an' Hollywood, this rabid, flea-ridden jackal was always beggin' the hustlers for trouble, long before I showed up. Jeni, Aida, and Chaye warned me 'bout him. When he came sniffin' at me back last year, I told him t' fuck off. The girls I mentioned were there, them an' a few guy friends ran him off."
Caitríona laid a hand on Ivaleigh's shoulder. I'll murder you here and now if you hurt her. "Was that the end of it?"
"No. Happy little game of cat an' mouse. One time t' try an' kiss me an' he found out I got sharp teeth."
You gave him the scars on his mouth?
Lailea was sitting too still, trembling, her expression terrifying, her eyes fixed on Barrett. "Did you rape my sister?" she breathed through barely moving lips.
Barrett flinched back, plainly appalled by the suggestion. "I would never lay harm to such a wonderous creature!"
He gave Ivaleigh a look that was drenched in awe and respect.
Caitríona and Scarlett both blinked. What ... then what ...?
"No." Ivaleigh gripped her sister's hand, digging her nails in a little to get Lailea's attention, careful not to wake Diamond. "Lailea, Caitríona, it ain't like that." She tilted her head a little, glancing over at her uncle, aunt, and cousin. "D'ya know what a masochist is? Barrett here needs pain an' degradation t' get off. One time, he even let me blow his Porsche Speedster t' hell, with a gas rag an' a lighter – "
Caitríona nearly laughed.
"Do you realize this could destroy your career, Barrett, if anyone found out you went for a – " Lisa ground out through clenched teeth, seething.
Pious bitch. Ivaleigh slammed one fist down on the table. "Not if you keep your busy mouth shut, it won't. The whole thing was between me an' him. An' Drake Barrett has always been kind t' me, shown me the utmost respect, an' believe me, in my line of work, that wasn't so easy t' come by, an' I'll defend him t' the ground. You, on the other hand, are a fucked up bit of work. A parasite of a segregationist, sittin' there dressed in that dime-store skirt an' blazer tryin' t' look like ya ain't some no-account."
Caitríona had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, while Lisa sat there, looking like she'd been physically struck. "Thank you, Ivaleigh."
Lailea almost wanted to give her sister a kick to the leg, Ivy, don't ruin this for me!
"Barrett, d'you got a problem with this, a white chick adoptin' a black baby?"
Barrett shook his head. "No. Every child deserves a mother." He gazed at Ivaleigh longingly. "But I – "
Ivaleigh shook her head, lifting her hand in clear sign of Don't. "I'm out of the game for good, Barrett. My grandparents are here, my sister an' more family is here, an' I'm seein' someone for real. I'm out."
"Oh." He looked both disappointed and thrilled for her. "Good."
Ivaleigh leaned, murmuring in his ear, "I know a full-on domme, Regine Simone, met her once. She lives at the Ritz on Olympic, not far from Skid Row. Owns some high-profile restaurants, in Beverly Hills, Palm Springs, Santa Monica, Bel Air. Story goes she's got a playroom, saddle an' spurs included." She smirked wickedly. "An' bigger tits than mine."
Barrett snorted, giving Ivaleigh an appreciative smile, looking for all the world like a gleeful child who'd found their favorite candy.
"I can tell Chaye t' ask her t' call you."
Lisa cleared her throat sharply. "This is beyond disgraceful. If I were to start telling stories, about your penchant for chi – "
Ivaleigh sat back abruptly, her amber eyes flashing. "I was a hooker, he was a client. Mind your own. An' third, since ya claim t' know the laws of your job so well, I suggest ya don't put yourself outside them. Give Lailea one legal reason why Caitríona can't take Diamond."
"There isn't one, necessarily. But there'll be plenty of red tape." Barrett replied, his tone steady, his demeanor settling back into that of a lawyer. "And Lisa's right, it'll be a little harder, given the differences." He looked over at Lailea, giving her a slight smile. "It's a judge's decision at the end of a day. Maybe, you'll get the Honorable Jane Emery, and that will quite possibly help because she's black," – he ignored the disparaging noise Lisa made in her throat, " – Either way, you'll have to prove that it's absolutely in Diamond's best interest to be with Caitríona."
"That means passing in the step of the family assessment, which can take up to three months. That, I won't sign off on." Lisa promised.
"Because Caitríona's white, and Diamond is black." Brielle filled in, her brow furrowed. That's really dumb.
"Precisely." Lisa looked smug, as though her answer would somehow put a solid end to what Caitríona and Lailea wanted.
"There's plenty of agencies in the area. If I'm not mistaken, the next closest one is the Three Hearts Agency, over in Altadena. Meanwhile, I'd like to continue being your lawyer, if you don't mind."
"Barrett!" Lisa hissed; he considered ignoring her, then replied congenially, "Miss Storm is right, there's no legal reason why Miss Quinn can't adopt Diamond. Entertain your opinions as you see fit, and I'll keep mine."
"Umm ... " Lailea looked uncertain, and Ivaleigh chimed in. "He's good at his job, Lailea. He's just got some quirks. Who don't?"
"I'll have no issue blackmailing you, Barrett."
Ivaleigh hissed, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You ain't got the grounds for it. He's never given you or me any trouble, legal or otherwise. Take all your pettiness an' shove it. You don't wanna help us, we'll go somewhere else."
"You. Were. A. Child." Lisa spat.
"Me an' my sister an' our brother never had the privilege of childhood, so shut the fuck up. An' do us all a favor, while you're at it: Don't pretend that you actually care. I know your type. You'll kiss ass all over the place t' get ahead. You wouldn't be tryin' t' reprimand Barrett at all if ya didn't have somethin' t' gain."
Ivaleigh's hand flashed out then, knocking straight into Lisa's water glass, sending the contents flying to spill all over the woman's front, from collar to skirt hem. "Whoops. Go get yourself cleaned up, or it'll be my iced tea next." Ivaleigh picked the glass up threateningly, shaking it.
"I would tell to have a clean conscience." Lisa bit out through gritted teeth.
"You're racist. Your conscience ain't never gonna be clean. An' from one fightin' mad bitch t' another, I will dump this drink on your head."
"Please excuse us, Miss Collins?" Scarlett entreated, a question and a command, as she, Leonard, and Brielle stood and moved closer, with Scarlett indicating plainly that she wanted to take Lisa's seat.
Lisa Collins had no choice but to stand, huffing with outrage, and stomp off towards the women's room.
"Well, that got her outta the way. Lailea prob'ly woulda dropped her anyway, she reminds us both too much of our mother, in looks."
Setting her tea down, Ivaleigh peered back at her family and Caitríona. "For the record, the sex with Barrett wasn't had. I just got him goin', playin' games. He'd always finish off in the shower."
"My ..." Barrett cleared his throat, embarrassed but willing to explain. " ... self doesn't have much tolerance for condoms, miss." Barrett shrugged a little at Caitríona and Scarlett, looking apologetic.
"That is some game." Caitríona replied after a moment, looking back and forth between them.
"Still, though, she was sixteen." Leonard snarled, glaring at Barrett.
"Still, though, Leo, I was a prostitute. There ain't no skirtin' 'round that definition." Ivaleigh said calmly, meeting his gaze steadily.
Lailea took a breath, fighting to keep moving forward. "No offense, Mr. Barrett, but you were one of my sister's ... um ... men ... no matter on how things got done. If Collins snitches, everything'll fall apart. I want Caitríona t' have Diamond, I know then she'll be safe."
"That's fair. Lisa Collins does love to talk, sadly. I – "
"You got dirt on her, for a counter-argument?" Ivaleigh demanded.
"No. But I've never paid her much attention, either. I can put you in touch with Fiona Perry. She's a senior at my firm." He gave Lailea a small, conspiratorial smile. "It'll be all right, if questions come about. She knows how I am. She and I have played. Also, call Three Hearts in Altadena. And I'll tell you what else, Miss Storm ... have you ever considered a degree in family law? Based on the research you mentioned earlier, you've got a bit of a head-start. Not to mention plenty of motivation." He gave Lailea an encouraging smile.
Lailea fazed out for a moment, her eyes tearing up; she was thoroughly exhausted from all of the too-long days. Shaking her head, trying to focus, her voice wobbling alongside her skin, she answered, "Maybe. Everythin' else first though." She looked over at Caitríona, attempting to catch her breath. "I want t' have an affair with Bastian. I don't want t' be afraid."
But I am. Terrified.
"Maybe we should get her to a doctor, she looks ready to collapse." Barrett muttered with concern at Ivaleigh.
"You can shut up." Leonard snapped. "And Lailea, you're only seventeen. You don't need to be having an affair with anyone."
Caitríona stared at Lailea for a solid half-minute, a myriad of thoughts and emotions moving through her expression, while Ivaleigh, with ferocious gentleness, rubbed her sister's back, murmuring for her to breathe deep through her nose, mouth shut, tapping two fingers to the rhythm of Lailea's heartbeat, Diamond twitching in her sleep.
Please stop the ride, I need to get off.
"Let your mind drift, think of flyin'. In an' out through your nose, mouth shut – " Ivaleigh pressed her fingers to the middle, rubbing in small, hard circles, and Lailea relaxed a little to the pleasure-pain. "You deserve t' get fucked good an' hard. Make sure Bastian understands ya don't want t' be put away dry." She glanced back. "An' don't give me or her that look, Leo, Scarlett. An' even you, Brielle. You got no idea what it's been like for us."
Finally, Caitríona said, haltingly, "I don't truly have an answer for you, for that, dear. Believe me, I understand where you're coming from, you know that I do. But there is such an age difference. And your family – "
"Are just gonna have t' deal with it." Ivaleigh said. "This is Lailea savin' her own life. My talkin' 'bout experiences only goes so far. I'll tell our grandparents that, too."
She looked over at Barrett, ignoring her aunt, uncle, and cousins, and their expressions (ranging from furiously disgusted to confused and a little impressed), taking a breath of her own. "You been 'round Barnsdall Park on Hollywood lately?"
Barrett stiffened. "No. Is he looking for you?"
"Aida said he's been 'round between there an' Melrose hollerin' for me. An' that Nika's dealer had t' run him off with a double-barrel."
"Who?" Scarlett demanded.
"Don't know his name. Calls himself 'King'. Barnsdall Park is his place t' be. Newer t' the scene, been 'round since March. Flashed me a hundred for a blowjob with a huntin' knife t' my throat. All he got was my temper an' a busted lip. The next times I screamed my head off or hit him an' ran for it. Gave him a bloody nose at one point. His left eye does a thing, moves t' a side by itself. Freaks me right the fuck out. Indescribable bastard. He nearly killed one of the other girls, Fumiko, chokin' her while gettin' off. A few more have gone missin' since he's been 'round. I wouldn't be surprised if he had t' do with it. I'm aware every day I was lucky t' escape him."
"Take a breath, Ivaleigh, please, that monster doesn't have a clue where you are." Barrett said, looking worried.
"I would prefer you didn't speak to her." Leonard grated.
"An' I hope t' God he stays in not knowin'. An' I'll talk t' who I please. Don't treat me like I'm some innocent, either of you. I've had sex with hundreds. Drake Barrett ain't never been a problem for me. He never did anything t' hurt me, or any of the others. Just do me a favor, please, the only big one I'll ever ask of you. Leave him alone."