Naofumi was happy to see that he was standing outside Toriel's house in the Ruins. It didn't seem likely that the door would block him from returning via teleport skill (since Napstablook told him about how he comes and goes) but he couldn't be sure until he did it.

Naofumi entered the home. "Toriel? Are you here?"

The sound of something heavy being dropped could be heard coming from the kitchen, followed by running.

"Naofumi! Are you alright? I was worried when you had to hang up earlier. That dog did not hurt you, I hope."

"I'm fine. I just have a lot to process."

"Perhaps talking about it will help. You did promise to tell me everything that happened."

"Do you have time? It sounded like you were in the middle of something."

A look of horror appeared on Toriel's face. "The snails!" Toriel ran back to the kitchen.

Naofumi followed her and helped clean up the mess. Luckily it was only water. Afterwards Naofumi began to tell Toriel about everything that happened. The puzzles, the dogs, and the strangeness of Sans and Papyrus. However when he reached the point of calling the raving skeleton "Numbskull" she burst out laughing.

"And here I thought you were not a fan of jokes."

"It's an accurate description and I wasn't thinking of the fact that he was a skeleton."

"There is no hiding it, Naofumi. You have a funny bone."

"Do you want to hear the rest or not?"

"Of course, Naofumi. I did not mean to get your goat."

Naofumi thought about it for a moment and chose to overlook that one before continuing. As he described the other ways in which he passed by Papyrus's traps, Toriel agreed that he was "quite the bonehead." Naofumi also had to explain how Sans's "treasure" comment was a pun on his name's meaning, but then he ended up wondering how Sans knew that. It seemed unlikely that any of the monsters would know Japanese.

On the bright side, being "friends" with Papyrus should make it easier to convince him to help. Apparently he was well acquainted with the captain of the royal guard, Undyne, and could probably introduce them in a way that didn't include Naofumi having to block attacks while shouting at them to stop. On the other hand, he was an idiot and might just make things worse by trying to help.

After finishing his story, and joining Toriel for a meal, Naofumi felt like he could continue on his journey to the king. Or at the very least maintain his sanity during another meeting with Papyrus.

"Portal Shield!"

Naofumi was once again standing in front of the WELCOME TO SNOWDIN sign. Less than a second after arriving a snowball hit the side of his head. Looking in the direction it came from Naofumi saw a young (at least he assumed young) rabbit-beastman looking monster with wide eyes and his hands covering his mouth. Looking around there were several other kids around, some holding snowballs and all looking surprised.

Did I just teleport into a snowball fight?

As Naofumi looked at them all the kids dropped their snowballs and scrambled to run away. Well, all except one.

"Yo! How'd you appear like that?" A kid that looked sort of reptilian and didn't have any arms was talking to him.

"Umm… Shortcut?"

"You can do that?! I thought only that weird skeleton could use those. Could you teach me?"

"Afraid not."

"Oh." The monster kid looked down for a second before acting cheery again. "Hey, thanks for taking that snowball for me. I thought I was done for before you showed up, but now I'm still… in… Where did everybody go?" The monster kid looked around finally noticing that the others had run for it. "Does this mean I win?"

"Hell if I know."

"I WON! That's awesome! Thanks for the help." The monster kid ran off.

What would a kid with no arms even do in a snowball fight?

Naofumi shook the question out of his head before walking through the town. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't a X-mas tree. Then Naofumi saw Doggo start to walk out of what he assumed was a restaurant before seeing him walking by, and turning around to go back inside. He really wanted to get out before any more of the dogs showed up and he was forced to pet them to get away. He kept walking past the library with the misspelled sign and the house with a pirate flag.

Not long after Naofumi passed the last house the snow falling around him increased and the wind made it so he could barely see.

"Meteor Shield!"

It only extended a few feet around him, but at least he'd see before he runs into anything or falls into the river. Naofumi continued walking, but then, in the distance, he saw a silhouette. An (unfortunately?) familiar silhouette.

"NAOFUMI!"

Papyrus blocked Naofumi's path.

"What is it, Papyrus?"

"ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE... THE JOY OF FINALLY FINDING A FRIEND. THE DESIRE TO HAVE FUN MAKING PUZZLES AND PASTA TOGETHER. THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN KNOWING THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO BATTLE WITH THAT FRIEND."

"I don't think we really need to fight."

"NO. THERE'S NO CHOICE. AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO LET YOU PASS, I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO ESCAPE."

"But…"

"PLEASE FORGIVE ME. BUT THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO."

Papyrus launched a series of bones at Naofumi. They broke against his Meteor Shield. Papyrus made what Naofumi could only assume was a shocked expression. (It's hard to tell since he's a skeleton)

"WHAT...? YOU JUST... HOW?"

"I blocked it."

"..."

"..."

"IS THAT IT?!"

"Technically it was the meteor shield I deployed a few minutes ago that blocked it."

"..."

"It's something like magic."

"HUMAN MAGIC?! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL. LET'S SEE HOW YOU DEAL WITH... MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK'!"

Papyrus sent over a dozen blue bones at Naofumi. They also broke against the shield.

"WELL... I... PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING. WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP USING THAT HUMAN MAGIC OF YOURS SO WE CAN HAVE A FAIR FIGHT!"

By pure coincidence, the time limit for Meteor Shield ran out right then.

"ALRIGHT! TIME TO DO THIS FOR REAL!"

Papyrus, once again, fired off an innumerable number of bones towards Naofumi, who didn't even bother moving. The bones that hit shattered against him.

"I THOUGHT YOU STOPPED USING THAT MAGIC!"

"I didn't do anything. My defense is just that high."

"WOWIE. NOT EVEN UNDYNE OR ASGORE COULD TAKE AN ATTACK LIKE THAT UNSCATHED. I'M NOT SURE IF EVEN MY SPECIAL ATTACK WOULD BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING... OH NO! IF I CAN'T HURT HIM I'M GUARANTEED TO LOSE!"

"Not when I can't hurt you either."

"WHAT?"

"I'm serious. We could attack each other all day long and it wouldn't get us anywhere, so how about we just talk."

"OKAY... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?"

"Well-"

"WAIT!"

"Huh?"

"THIS IS NO PLACE FOR A DISCUSSION! WE SHOULD GO BACK TO MY HOUSE!"

Naofumi didn't have any reason to refuse. "Sure."

Papyrus led Naofumi back towards town and stopped in front of the house with a pirate flag. Naofumi also noticed all the signs and labels stuck to the door. I should have known. Papyrus unlocked the door and entered, followed by Naofumi.

"WELCOME TO THE SCENIC, MY HOUSE!"

Naofumi wasn't even surprised that it was bigger on the inside than should have been physically possible. Nor was he surprised to see a couch, TV, and kitchen. On the other hand, the sock with the chain of sticky notes and the rock covered in sprinkles seemed odd even for Papyrus. And he didn't even want to know what the situation was with the kitchen sink.

"SO... WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?"

"Right. So… I've heard you know the captain of the royal guard."

"YES! UNDYNE! SHE IS VERY DETERMINED TO GET THE HUMAN SOUL TO BREAK THE BARRIER!"

"I think you should take me to her."

"WHAT?! YOU... YOU WOULD REALLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO CONVINCE UNDYNE TO LET ME JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD?! AND TO THINK I ATTACKED YOU. YOU'RE A FAR BETTER FRIEND THAN I DESERVE."

Papyrus rubbed his arm against his eye sockets as if he was wiping away tears.

"IT WOULD MEAN THE FULFILLMENT OF MY GREATEST DREAM! BUT NO. I COULD NEVER DO THAT TO A FRIEND SUCH AS YOU. I'LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN... WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS... THROUGH THE KING'S CASTLE. THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS... HE IS... WELL... HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER! EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY... -EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMUR... CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?- HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF!"

"Papyrus…"

"YES, NAOFUMI?"

"Whoever said I was trying to leave?"

Papyrus's jaw hung open as he stared at Naofumi.

"And I have no intention of sacrificing myself to anybody. My goal is to stop people from trying to hunt me. To do that I need to talk to Asgore, and Undyne will probably take me straight to him. Honestly I have no idea if they'll really make you a member of the royal guard for bringing a human they aren't able to kill, but there's a chance."

Papyrus's expresion didn't change but smoke started to rise from where his ears would be. Naofumi waved a hand in front of his face but got no response.

"i think you broke him."

Naofumi turned to see Sans looking down from the second floor. "How long have you been there?"

"long enough." Sans started walking down the stairs. "not a bad plan by the way. takes some real guts to try something like that. or maybe you just have a thick skull."

"It's only a risk if they can hurt me. Once they realize they can't, I figure Asgore'll be more open minded."

"those are some big assumptions about someone you've never met. i hope you aren't being boneheaded."

"No, I'll leave that to you two numbskulls."

"SANS! YOU'VE INFECTED HIM WITH YOUR PUNS!"

Sans and Naofumi turned to look at Papyrus.

"what do you know, laughter really is the best medicine."

"WHAT NONSENSE! OBVIOUSLY THE BEST MEDICINE IS MY SPAGHETTI!"

"if that's medicine, then i'd say the cure is worse than the disease."

"WHAAAT!? EVERY DISH I MAKE IS A MASTERPIECE! NAOFUMI, WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

"I think the only spaghetti I've seen since coming here was frozen to a table and looked burnt."

"THERE, YOU SEE? EVERYBODY KNOWS SPAGHETTI IS MEANT TO BE BURNT!"

"Hold on. You burnt the spaghetti on purpose?"

"OF COURSE. JUST AS UNDYNE TAUGHT ME."

Naofumi looked at Papyrus dumbstruck.

"yeah, she's been teaching him to cook to get him to stop begging her for training."

"Papyrus… Noodles are never supposed to be burnt. Hell, it shouldn't even be possible to burn them."

"OF COURSE IT IS POSSIBLE TO BURN THEM, YOU JUST TURN UP THE HEAT AND THROW THEM IN THE POT. NYEH HEH HEH!"

"I think you're forgetting about the water."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WATER DOESN'T GO IN SPAGHETTI!"

"You have it backwards. You're supposed to boil the water before putting the noodles in it to cook."

"NOODLES IN WATER?! THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT."

"is this going to put a strain on your relationship?"

"OF COURSE NOT! PASTA COOKING DISCUSSIONS ARE WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!"

"I'm pretty sure he was making a pun, since you put it in a strainer to get it out of the water."

Sans smiled and pointed at Naofumi.

"speaking of things out of water, weren't you going to talk to undyne about him either way?"

"SANS! I... I'M ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF THAT COUNTS AS A PUN OR NOT. BUT YOU ARE RIGHT THAT I HAVE TO GO SEE UNDYNE. NAOFUMI! YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN ME. I'M SURE SHE WILL BE THRILLED TO MEET YOU."

"battersea her then, but don't be surprised if she tries to get straight to the point."

"AWAY WE GO! BEFORE SANS MAKES ANY MORE PUNS!"

Papyrus tried to rush Naofumi out of the house, but as they were leaving...

"i'm sure this'll be one for the aegis."

Papyrus was sure to lock the door before he left. When Naofumi asked why he bothered when Sans was inside, the answer was simple:

"HE NEVER USES THE DOOR."

And with that they were off to meet Undyne in Waterfall. They passed through the incredibly localized snowstorm. Seriously, it was smaller than the town and the area where you couldn't see was only about as big as a house.

"WELCOME TO WATERFALL! HONESTLY I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THIS PLACE. BUT I ALWAYS COME THIS WAY TO MAKE MY DAILY REPORT TO UNDYNE."

"So you've been through here a lot."

"YES! IT ALSO MEANS I CAN MAKE SURE SANS IS AT HIS POST."

"But doesn't he watch the area by the ruins?"

"YES, HE MANS TWO STATIONS AT ONCE. AMAZING, ISN'T HE? HE SLACKS OFF TWICE AS MUCH AS NORMAL! NORMAL FOLKS CAN ONLY DREAM OF SUCH SLOTH…"

"Right…"

Naofumi knew they didn't have the most common sense, but even a kid could tell that didn't make any sense.

"AH, THERE HE IS NOW."

As expected, Sans was sitting at a sentry station that looked just like the one Naofumi saw before. It even had snow covering its roof dispide there not being any snow here.

"SANS. HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING AN EYE OUT FOR HUMANS?"

"of course. there's one now." Sans pointed at Naofumi.

"ANY OTHER HUMANS."

"i'm looking, but they don't exactly pop up like echo flowers."

"TRUE. BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO SLACK OFF."

"it's called a break. and luckily having two jobs means twice as many, required by law."

Papyrus sighed as he turned to Naofumi. "HE LOVES ABUSING THAT LAW. I HAVE HALF A MIND TO SUGGEST ASGORE CHANGE IT. BUT THEN HE WOULD GO FROM LYING DOWN ON THE JOB TO LYING DOWN AT HOME. NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH."

"and you'd have to find a replacement. maybe you could get naofumi to fill the position. he seems like ajax of all trades."

"MOVING ON!"

Papyrus went behind Sans's station and opened a door behind it.

"Moving on." Naofumi blinked as he heard Papyrus's voice come from a blue flower.

The fish guy next to it noticed and began to explain. "This is an Echo Flower. It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over… Neat, huh?"

The flower began to repeat him and Naofumi followed Papyrus through the door. This path definitely wasn't on the map he got from Toriel, but he doubted Papyrus was smart enough to lead him into an actual trap. After making a right turn, Naofumi could hear the sound of running water above them.

"DON'T WORRY. WE MAY BE PASSING UNDER A RIVER BUT THIS TUNNEL IS DRY AS A BONE."

"I'd be more concerned about the ceiling caving in than a bit of water leaking."

"WELL THAT ISN'T VERY LIKELY."

The two of them reached a set of stairs that led up to… well not the surface, but out of the tunnel. Now they were looking at a group of pillars formed from stalagmites near a ledge dropping to what Naofumi assumed was the path through Waterfall. And in the shadows cast by those pillars there stood a warrior in black armor with some red hair or feathers or something coming out the back of the helmet. Don't mention the trope, don't mention the trope, don't mention the trope...

"H... HI, UNDYNE! I'M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT... UHHH... REGARDING THAT HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER…"

"Why are you being nervous?" Naofumi couldn't stop himself from asking Papyrus when his manner of speaking changed from bold to cowardly.

Undyne turned to look at them.

"YOU SEE…"

"You actually managed to capture him!?"

Undyne came running towards them.

"WELL ACTUALLY…"

"Oh wow! A bandit! AN HONEST TO GOODNESS BANDIT!"

I'm not a bandit!

"Nice job, Papyrus. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"HE C… WAIT! YOU DOUBTED ME?!"

"Well… you're a nice guy. I figured you might get tricked and let him go or something."

"HOW COULD ANYONE TRICK SOMEONE AS GREAT AS I?"

"The first time you saw me you basically ignored the fact that I was even there."

Papyrus's jaw dropped and he slowly turned his head to look at Naofumi.

"Seriously, Papyrus?" Undyne's face could not be seen through her helmet, but she sounded somewhere between annoyed and neutral.

"WELL… UM… WHEN WAS THIS?"

"You asked Sans if he had found a human yet, he said yes, and you left."

"OH, YES. I FORGOT ABOUT THAT."

"Papyrus, you bonehead!"

"IN MY DEFENSE... I'D NEVER SEEN A HUMAN BEFORE."

"But somehow Sans saying I'm not a rock made you realize it?"

"UUHHHHHH…"

"BWAHAHAHA!" Undyne doubled over, slapping her knee as she laughed. It took several minutes for Undyne to finish laughing, by which point the current line of conversation had died. "Now where were we? Oh right. Human." Undyne conjured a blue spear and pointed it at Naofumi. "I'm glad you're a bandit, that way there's no chance of any moral grey area in taking your soul to release the barrier… Papyrus! You captured him, so why isn't he tied up, or in chains, or cuffs, or something?"

"WELL, AS I TRIED TO TELL YOU EARLIER. NAOFUMI CAME WILLINGLY."

"Heh?" Undyne tilted her head while looking at Naofumi.

"I get that you guys want my soul to try and get out and all. But you won't be able to. So it's easier for everyone if I-"

"WHAT!?" Undyne's roar could be heard across the Underground. "You think I can't take on some bandit?!" She reached out and grabbed Naofumi by his chestplate.

"Oh, you probably could. But I'm not a bandit. I'm the Shield Hero."

". . . What's a shield hero?"

"FROM WHAT I CAN TELL. HE IS SOME SORT OF HERO THAT USES A SHIELD."

"I got that much, Papyrus!" Undyne still sounded mad. "So, you think you can take me on? Then let's go! Here and now!"

"UNDYNE! PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS!"

Papyrus stood in her way.

"Out of my way Papyrus. This punk is asking for a fight and I plan to give him one." Undying forcefully moved Papyrus out of her way.

"No. I said that fighting would be pointless."

"Don't try to back out now punk." Undyne threw her spear. But Naofumi deflected it. "Not bad. Guess that's why you'd be named after that shield. But can you handle… this?" Undyne created half a dozen spears floating behind her and sent them flying at Naofumi.

"Woah!" Naofumi exclaimed as he either dodged or blocked the various spears. "You know, you're starting to remind me of another person with a habit of trying to kill me with spears… You aren't obsessed with girls are you?"

Papyrus looked shocked and Undyne didn't say anything, but Naofumi felt the aura she was emanating and knew he should run. The size and quantity of the spears she summoned confirmed that feeling.

Naofumi started to run as Undyne started launching spears. The impact of one of the spears hitting the ground managed to knock Naofumi over the edge. He managed to roll and keep running, then Undyne gave chase.

Papyrus was left alone to wonder, "DIDN'T NAOFUMI SAY HE WOULDN'T TAKE ANY DAMAGE FROM HER ATTACKS?"

"he probably forgot. hope he doesn't Svalinn the water."

"SANS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT?!"

"as if i was going to miss this riot."

"YOU ARE REALLY GOING HEAVY ON THOSE SHIELD PUNS. AREN'T YOU?"

"i may not get the chance to use them later. besides i haven't even used half of them yet-holm."

*SIGH* "DO YOU THINK NAOFUMI WILL BE OKAY WITH UNDYNE CHASING HIM LIKE THAT?"

"it's his own fault she went ballistic. anyways i get the feeling he's the type that can get around any obstacles in his way. but he'll have to buckler down and face undyne at some point. then either he'll manage to calm her down or it'll be the unstoppable spear vs the unbreakable shield."

Naofumi had been running from Undyne for quite a while now. He had to use Air Strike Shield to jump a couple rivers while some sort of seahorse guy was flexing at him and ducked into a tunnel where a short guy insisted on washing his armor. Unfortunately Naofumi didn't have time and kept running, there was a short pier on the other end of the tunnel. But as soon as he used the small raft to reach the next one Undyne was there trying to impale him on her seemingly endless supply of spears. So now he was running across a very long pier, hoping to get away.

What the hell? Shouldn't Undyne have run out of MP by now?

The pier came to an end and Naofumi dove into a patch of tall grass. He kept his head down hoping Undyne would lose track of him as he ran, but then he tripped on something and ended up tumbling onto his back. Naofumi heard the clanking of Undyne's armor coming closer. He froze in hopes of going unnoticed. The clanking stopped and there was some rustling near his head. There was an unidentifiable sound before more rustling. Finally, he heard Undyne walking away.

Naofumi waited until he was sure Undyne had left before getting up and getting through the grass. Once he was out he heard the rustling of something moving in the grass behind him. He prepared himself to be attacked at any moment but what emerged was the… monster kid?

"Yo... did you see that!? Undyne just… TOUCHED ME! I'm never washing my face ever again...! Thanks for tripping over me. I've never felt so lucky to be stepped on!"

The monster kid ran off, then tripped, then got back up and continued running. Naofumi just watched as it happened, too confused by the monster kid's reaction.

I don't know who you are, Monster Kid, but thanks for distracting Undyne.

Naofumi continued walking. He passed a piece of cheese that had been encased in crystal and an echo flower that was squeaking. Then...

"Sans? Why am I not surprised to see you here?"

"what can i say? i'm not the type of skeleton to rest in peace."

"And what's with the telescope?"

"i'm thinking of getting into the business. it's normally 50000G to use this premium telescope… but... since i know you, you can use it for free. howzabout it?"

"Why? It's not like those stars are real."

"oh well. come back whenever you want."

Naofumi rolled his eyes as he walked by. Then he stopped when he saw there were two ways he could go and with all the running from Undyne he wasn't even sure where he was anymore. Naofumi pulled out his map to check, and sure enough, the way forward was blocked by water. But it was easy to cross by projecting a few shields.

I think Blooky lives just up that way. Might as well set a portal location so I have options on where outside of the ruins I can teleport to. It may also mean we can get a bigger variety of snails in the ruins even if things go as bad with Asgore as they did with Undyne.

Naofumi was careful to avoid the monster crying in the corner before making his way to Napstablook's house to save the portal location. Then, as he was about to leave...

"oh, hello naofumi… i didn't expect you to really come… well, it's not much… but please come inside and make yourself at home..."

"Don't worry about it, Blooky. Honestly I was just in the area and I have to keep moving before Undyne catches me."

"oh, i heard her yelling earlier… did you make her mad…"

"Ehh… maybe?" Naofumi scratched the back of his head while smiling nervously. "Undyne was throwing spears at me without listening to what I had to say and I compared her to this idiot… wait, Undyne's a girl?"

"yes... you didn't know…"

"I didn't really think about it. Her armor looks like something out of an anime and her voice was distorted by the helmet. No wonder that question pissed her off."

"oh... a question made her mad?"

"Uhhh… it's not important. Sorry I don't have time to chat more, but I really need to keep moving before she finds me."

"oh… it's okay…"

"Seeya Blooky." Naofumi waved as he left. And napstablook looked down as he slowly drifted to his house.

Naofumi walked past what looked like a mineshaft and another box.

I guess those really are all over the place.

Naofumi reached an area that was too dark to see except for a path made out of glowing plants.

This wasn't on the map. Naofumi checked the map to be sure. Yup, definitely not on it.

*RING*

"HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!"

"Papyrus? How…?"

"HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER...? IT WAS EASY! I JUST DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"And you spent all that time finding my number because…?"

"YES! YOU SEE… UNDYNE… SHE'S REALLY MAD AT YOU. MADDER THAN I'VE EVER SEEN HER BEFORE. IF YOU AREN'T CAREFUL, I THINK SHE MIGHT DO SOMETHING TO REALLY HURT YOU!"

"Papyrus. I think that much was obvious."

"OH… YES… WELL, I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO, DON'T HESITATE TO ASK!"

"Okay. Do you know the fastest way through the dark area where the path glows?"

"OF COURSE! I THINK IT WAS TO TAKE THE FIRST TWO RIGHTS YOU CAN! ...OR MAYBE IT WAS LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT STRAIGHT RIGHT…? ONE OF THOSE TWO. I WISH YOU LUCK WITH NOT GETTING KILLED BY UNDYNE."

Well… that was weird.

Naofumi decided to try the first way Papyrus suggested. It didn't take him long to regret it.

"hOI! i'm tEMMIE!"

Naofumi froze as he saw the large group of the strange new monster he had run into. They all turned to look at him.

"hOI! i'm tEMMIE!"

"hOI! im temmie!"

"hOI! i'm TEMMIE!"

"hOI! i'm tEMMIE!"

"i'm temmie!"

"Hi. I'm Bob!"

"hOI! i'm TEMMIE!"

Naofumi was set upon by a horde of strange dog/cat creatures and dragged deeper into the village.

"Human feel nice!"

"TEM like hunan!"

"Tem think human smell nice."

No matter how desperately he fought, Naofumi was pulled deeper into the horde. In the end he found himself unable to do anything beyond twitching as he was carried by the creatures into the only building they had.

"hOI! welcom to… da TEM shop!"

"TEM find nice thing!"

"tem like new thing!"

"Tem not think TEM should sell human."

"TEM not sell human! Human TEM's new customer!"

During the discussions(?) of the things apparently all called temmie, Naofumi was able to gather himself just enough to use his best means of escape.

"PORTAL SHIELD!"

In his panic Naofumi didn't think about where he was teleporting to and went to the last location he added, Napstablook's house.

Naofumi didn't know how long he spent lying there, but eventually Napstablook found him.

"oh... naofumi… you don't look so good. did something happen..."

"T… Te…" Naofumi struggled to get the word out. "Temmies."

"oh… you went to temmie village…" Just hearing the name made Naofumi shudder. "i don't go there… i would only bring down the mood..."

Napstablook slowly drifted through the wall of his house. Then he came back.

"would you like a ghost sandwich…"

The ghost sandwich fell through Naofumi and the ground below.

"oh… never mind… after a great meal i like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage… it's a family tradition… and you are already doing it…"

Napstablook laid down next to Naofumi. Naofumi's vision of the world started to shift. Slowly he went from seeing some glowing rocks on the roof of the cave to stars and galaxies.

Eventually, Naofumi recovered from the trauma enough to move, and when he did the strangeness affecting his vision disappeared. Napstablook got up as well.

"well, that was nice… thank you…"

"Uh… Right…" Naofumi wasn't sure what to say as he managed to get on his feet. Luckily Napstablook floated off to attend to his snail farm, leaving him able to continue on.

This time Naofumi tried to follow the other set of directions Papyrus gave him. Try being the operative word. So it's left, right, left, OH GOD NOT ANOTHER TEMMIE! Run away! Run away! Run away! Where am I? This can't be right. There weren't supposed to be two rights in a row, were there?

Naofumi continued on trying to alternate between right and left like Papyrus's instructions went, but the light of the flowers started to fade and he found himself stumbling around in the dark.

Some time later Naofumi stepped in a shallow pool of water. Great, now my feet are wet. Naofumi trudged on until reaching a dead end with an echo flower with a most ominous message. "Behind you."

Naofumi slowly turned around and, for some discernible reason, the lighting became bright enough to see again. Specifically he could now see that Undyne was there slowly walking towards him.

"So… Ummm… I'm sorry about what I said before. Honestly with the armor and how varied monsters are I had no idea that you were a girl."

Undyne stopped. "What?"

"Blooky told me later."

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?"

"Huh?" Naofumi was confused.

"Listen punk. We need seven souls for Asgore to be able to become a god and break the barrier. We already have six of 'em so your's is the last one. Pissing me off just means I don't have to be nice about how I take it. And pulling that brag and run schtick back then definitely pissed me off. Apologizing for the weird comment in the middle isn't going to change anything."

Undyne conjured a spear and leveled it at Naofumi.

"I actually wasn't trying to-"

"Undyne! I'll help you fight!" Monster Kid came running out of some plants that didn't look like they should go deep enough for him to hide in. He then looked back and forth between Naofumi and Undyne. Does Monster Kid have some sort of Undyne radar or something? "YO! You did it! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you! You've got front row seats to her fight!"

Remembering what happened to people that got in the way of Motoyasu when he was after Naofumi, he felt it best to try to get Monster Kid out of there.

"This isn't really a safe place right now kid, you should get home."

"... wait. Who's she fighting?" Monster Kid ignored Naofumi's advice and looked around. Undyne dispelled her spear, grabbed Monster Kid by the face, and walked away. "H-hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"

She prioritized Monster Kid's safety over fighting me… Naofumi couldn't help but respect Undyne for making a decision that none of the other "heroes" he knew would. At best Ren and Itsuki would probably tell Monster Kid to scram, and Motoyasu would just ignore him.

Naofumi hesitated, as he expected Undyne to come back any second but she didn't. So he walked down the side path that he was now able to see.

There were several echoflowers on each side, but he tried to ignore them. There was a sign, but it just said something about a prophecy and didn't give any indication if he was going the right way. One turn later and Naofumi found himself looking at another long bridge, this one without rope railings. As Naofumi crossed the bridge he found that this one actually felt like a bridge. Naofumi was nearly across when…

"Yo!" Monster Kid appeared. Naofumi turned around to see him approaching. "I know I'm not supposed to be here, but... I wanna ask you something. Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before... Umm... Yo... You're human, right?"

"Yeah, I'm human. It's actually a bit surprising how few people are able to recognize me as one."

"Haha. Man! I knew it! ... well, I know it now, I mean... Undyne told me, um, "stay away from that human." So, like, ummm... I guess that makes us enemies or something. But I kinda stink at that, haha. Yo, say something mean so I can hate you?"

"Calm down, Monster Kid. It's no-"

"Y-You know my name?!"

Naofumi was as shocked as Monster Kid. "Your name?"

"Ya, you just called me Monster Kid. How'd you know that was my name?"

". . . Lucky guess?"

"Wow! You're a really good guesser… What were we talking about?"

"I was trying to say that there isn't any point in saying something mean to you."

As Naofumi spoke, he spotted Undyne approaching the bridge. Well, if the pattern holds, she'll try to take Monster Kid somewhere safe before attacking me.

"Oh! … Guess I have to do it, haha. Yo, I... I hate your guts." Monster Kid seemed disappointed by his own insult. "Man, I... I'm such a turd. I'm... I'm gonna go home now."

Monster Kid started to walk away, but he got excited when he noticed Undyne and tripped. He started to fall off the bridge, causing Undyne to run for him, but Naofumi's reaction was faster.

"Air Strike Shield!" Naofumi created the shield even with the bridge to catch Monster Kid, who did a faceplant into the shield and stuck to it.

Undyne froze in her tracks, likely confused by the situation. Naofumi knew the shield wouldn't last long so he peeled Monster Kid off the shield and set him back on the bridge. It was hard not to notice that his face was still flat.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm used to it." Monster Kid shook his face back into shape. "Yo, you really saved my skin. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead."

Naofumi thought about it for a moment. "Sure, why not? My name's Naofumi."

"Yo, I'm… well… I guess you already know my name but you can call me MK for short."

"Alright MK, but you really should go home."

"...man. I bet my parents are worried sick about me!" MK looked at Undyne facing them on the bridge. "Y... y... yo... dude... If... If y-you wanna hurt my friend... You're gonna have to get through me, first." MK took a step towards Undyne. Undyne took a step back. Then another. Then she turned around and left. "She's gone… Well… Later dude." MK ran off, managing not to trip this time.

Naofumi continued on and found himself looking at the mouth of a massive tunnel, the outside of which was covered in spikes. Finally, something I recognize from the map! And standing up above that cave was Undyne. She was monologuing about how they need one more soul and how she would take his. Then moved on into "the tragic tale" of monsters.

"It all started long ago…"

Can't she just skip the history lesson? I already learned this stuff from Toriel.

"... No, you know what? SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL THAT STORY WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE!?"

Naofumi decided to keep walking.

"HEY!" Undyne jumped down and landed right behind Naofumi. "DON"T RUN AWAY WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU! Seriously! Isn't it some sort of tradition to wait for someone to finish their dramatic speech before the fight?"

Is she serious? "Why would I just wait for you to come attack me?"

"I DON'T KNOW! That's how it is in all of Alphys's human research materials."

"Well, I can't say anything for the humans of this world, but I'm not dumb enough to do something like that." unless I need to buy time or whatever information they'd give in their stupid speech.

"Fine then." Undyne removed her helmet, revealing that she was some sort of fish person with an eyepatch, and that the red stuff Naofumi thought was part of her helmet was actually her hair. "Let's just fight then. No more running away!" Undyne sent a wave of magic that made Naofumi feel like he was rooted in place. "En guarde!" Undyne started attacking by summoning spears around Naofumi and sending them at him. They were not difficult to block.

"So… I'm a bit curious. Your armor looks a bit like something I've seen before."

"Oh?" Undyne paused her attacks as she responded. "Yeah we based it off the armor of some of those world conquering space guys since it was supposed to be super strong, light, and flexible. Not sure what they used, but we weren't able to make it stretch or bend the same way. Still strong… NNNNGAHH! STOP DISTRACTING ME FROM TRYING TO KILL YOU!" Undyne resumed her attack.

After some time Undyne's magic wore off and Naofumi was able to move again as she threw a final spear. Naofumi evaded it and started to walk down the tunnel while using an Air Strike Shield to block Undyne from following.

"GET BACK HERE!" Undyne yelled while beating the shield with her spears.

Naofumi walked down the tunnel, around a corner, past the WELCOME TO HOTLAND sign. The tunnel opened up into a larger cavern. The path had lava on either side and led to another bridge, but first it went past Sans. Sans? Naofumi nearly tripped over himself as he saw the familiar skeleton and sentry station, still with snow on its roof despite the heat.

"Seriously? You're a sentry in Hotland too?"

"sentry? no. i'm here selling hotdogs. want one? only 30G." Sans held up a hot dog, which barked at Naofumi. I'm not petting that. Then a spear flew by, taking it into the lava and reminding Naofumi why he was running. "don't think the 'dogs are supposed to get that hot."

"Die already you brat!" Undyne came running out of the tunnel. Luckily she was surprised to see Sans too and Naofumi was able to make his way across the bridge before she caught up. And by the time she crossed she was panting. "Armor... so... hot… But I can't... Give up…" Undyne collapsed.

Naofumi looked down at her in shock. He thought about just leaving her there, but there was a chance she'd end up as a baked sardine. *SIGH* Naofumi lifted her up and flopped her over his shoulder. Damn, eight foot tall armored fish people are heavy. He started the long walk back towards waterfall.