In Time, Death

By Alesyira

Summary: Both Angara and Kagome have concerns, and some misunderstandings lead to trouble.

Author's Note: did you know that from the beginning of book1 to this point in book3 you've read roughly the same amount of text found in 7 normal-length novels? free. (facepalm) i need to jump on the 'published' bandwagon already and make a few dollars from some shorter fics lol

Concerns

- 1988 -

"You've been awfully quiet this morning," Gatai observed, nudging her with an elbow. "You worried about that girl?"

"Maybe just too many questions buzzing through my head," Angara replied, looking away.

"Shippo's never had a bad thing to say about that one," he said.

"That's one of the problems. Have you ever been so blinded by someone's appeal that you couldn't see the bad? When all you hear are the cute and funny stories, you start to wonder where the flaws are, where the shortfalls have been, what makes them real. As long as he's known her, I've never met her once. I got the impression that she'd died or had gone missing a very long time ago. How is she here, and so unmistakably human?"

"I suppose that is a bit of a question needing an answer."

"You recognized her," she murmured with a little frown of confusion, "but not as Shippo's?"

He nodded. "Back when the realms split. She was there for a few days around that time, at the elbow of both Baikal and Sesshoumaru like a trusted advisor." He peered at her from the corner of one eye. "Even Kiapo liked her. She got hurt somehow during the failed assassination attempt right after the split, and it sent the lot of them into a scramble to fix whatever was wrong."

Angara hummed, threading her fingers together in thought.

He stretched and folded his arms behind his neck. "If this problem with her magic is new, perhaps one of them sent her this way for help."

She shook her head a little, but Gatai didn't think she meant to disagree with his statement. "I just don't understand how she's managed to remain so obscure. Everyone worth knowing about is known. To think that she stayed hidden away like that, was she locked away in some treasure vault? Hiding under a rock? Stuck in a parallel realm like the Reikai or Ningenkai?"

Gatai shrugged. "You're talking about Shippo's priestess. He has countless illusions and tricks that he's used to fool us all at one point or another. What's one more for a good friend like that?"

She frowned. "I don't know…"

He arched an eyebrow at her oddly pessimistic behavior. "Are you worried she's a spy, or that she's here to hurt the kids?"

Angara shook her head. "I don't know what I should be worried about. I just don't like it. Something feels wrong."

"As long as she stays up there, our students should be safe, and she won't be able to discover any secrets about them. We'll just stay on guard until we know more for sure, but in the meantime, we'll treat her with kid gloves like we do the rest of the uncontrolled lot that find their way here."

She glanced at him, wanting to say more but unsure how to phrase what was on her mind.

He smiled serenely and spread his hands wide. "Look, the only one in any danger today will be me, and I trust you to keep me alive in case something goes unexpectedly, alright?"

She nodded slowly, then watched as he ran off to hand out orders and collect supplies for a potential trainee.

Kagome pushed open every window, carefully removed the fabrics draping the furniture, shook everything out and dusted.

The 'passable' facilities were definitely better than what she thought she'd find in a remote cabin. She rinsed out her bodysuit and hakama and then gladly took some time to bathe, washing away the stains of the day before, the mess from her half-clothed adventure with Hiei that morning, and the gross that had unexpectedly resulted from the impromptu trip through time. Her bodysuit had dried by the time she was clean, so she threw it on beneath a spare set of clothes that wouldn't look too out of place in 1988 (and thankfully without more foxprint patterns).

The only weapons she had on hand were the knife Hiei had given her and the handle to a mop that she'd found and unscrewed. She wasn't expecting to be attacked at the top of what seemed like a very private training facility, but hated the idea that she might be caught unprepared.

She was startled when the pulley system screeched to life, its woven metallic cables creaking as the wheels turned. After a while, a large basket appeared at the edge and stopped with a shudder, swinging its heavy weight onto the ledge. Curious, she approached it and peered inside. Her haori was folded on top, clean and dry. An assortment of bread, fruit, dried meats, and a bottle of juice were stacked neatly below it.

She collected the food items and walked back to the little cabin. It was a little weird to be hidden away on a mountainside like some princess in the tower, being sent food via basket up the side of the hill. She perched at the table and tore off a piece of a still-warm loaf, chewing thoughtfully as she considered the weird turns her life had taken. She was glad for a moment of peace, but she wished she had one of her friends there with her.

If her father had just died a few months prior, then Shippo was probably lingering near her mourning family. She toyed with the idea that she could visit her mother and be a shoulder to cry on during such a dark time, but the idea of using the vesper to make another trip anywhere was so unpalatable that her stomach clenched in rebellion.

She frowned before forcing down another bite of her bread. It was decidedly less tasty than it had been a moment ago.

Brushing crumbs from her fingertips, she decided to make better use of her time than sitting around and thinking. She put away the rest of the food items and then made her way out to the training platform. If she'd be training in this strange new place for a day or more, it felt like a good idea to get started.

She wasn't sure how soon they'd be back, but she still felt a little disconnected after the rough arrival, and the violently messy reaction she'd had was very concerning.

She settled cross-legged in the center of the stone surface, absorbing some sunshine and relaxing in the gentle breeze. She started with her basics, reaching outwards to feel for energies of others in the area.

She spotted at least a dozen people scattered at the edges of her range, a rainbow of colors to her inner eye. She wondered who and what they were. She was in desperate need of practice and experience to be able to understand anything specific about people with her magic, because all she could tell was that many of them were good with a few bordering on neutral. There was a lingering collection of discomfort, and Kagome attributed that to the effects of food poisoning. Poor kids, she grimaced.

Next, she felt out the land and the barrier that likely protected it, and then the odd energies of the platform. She basked briefly in the wild joy threading through the youthful magic playing around her. It was sprinkled liberally with so much excitement for freedom that she couldn't help a smile.

Once she felt comfortable with those, she tried setting up a simple barrier around her, a little dismayed to find it flicker and sputter to life, barely controlled and nearly as weak as some of her first attempts at such a thing.

Frowning, she tried again, but got similarly bad results.

She opened her eyes and stared at her palms, wondering what was wrong with her magic. She could feel the bright pink warmth simmering beneath the surface, but attempts to flash the greying tips of her fingers got barely a sizzle, and the grey stayed put.

Suddenly nervous, she rubbed her hands together and tried again, wondering if something had gone horribly wrong. Had she somehow broken her magic during the last trip through time and space?

If that was true, then what the heck could she do about it?

She stood, contemplating removing the seal to see if the magic of the jewel would help.

From the edge of her awareness, she spotted Angara and Gatai heading back up the stairs toward her. She was torn between worry about whatever was wrong with her magic and excitement to see what she might discover about her broken time. She hoped that they'd be able to help her with both.

They seemed troubled and uncertain, and she frowned a little at the feeling. She watched as they walked around the bend, greeting them with a small wave.

Gatai handed her two sets of training outfits made from a dark grey material. "If you end up staying more than a few days, we'll get you some more sets to keep up here. You can send your laundry down in the basket or you can wash by hand and line dry around the side of the cabin."

Kagome nodded, happy to have already found the line and clothespins in good condition. She tucked a bit of hair behind an ear, trying to push down her worries about her magic and their matching expressions. "Something's wrong, other than my time magic being weird." She paused, feeling uncomfortable. How could she describe what might have happened without telling these two more than they needed to know? "Something may have gone badly during the trip to get here."

Gatai had the audacity to snicker. "You mean you don't always vomit upon arrival at a new place?"

She made a face of discomfort and shook her head. She didn't find much amusement with that level of pain followed by puking up her guts. "That was a first. My magic feels wrong now, and it isn't doing what I'm expecting it to. I've had enough practice that these things should be simple."

Gatai nudged her in the direction of the cabin. "Go put on a training outfit and meet us back out here. We'll get started right away and you can show us."

She glanced down at her t-shirt and jeans and contemplated wearing her miko stuff instead. They were clean and dry, but the provided outfits were probably meant for getting dirty, and she might want to keep her miko gear ready for a quick exit in case something came up. (That is, if her vesper display ever changed.) The cloth of the training outfit was well worn, broken in by the countless students that had come before her. The pants and top slid on easily over her bodysuit, and she belted the getup at the waist.

Angara stood barefoot in the center of the platform with her arms crossed, waiting for Kagome. She toed off her shoes beside the first step before joining her, and they exchanged a brief bow.

Kagome's worry grew a tiny bit as she recognized Angara's slightly strained expression. She wanted to ask what was bothering her, but if Angara could feel whatever was wrong with her magic, then it would make perfect sense that they'd be feeling a similar level of unease.

They faced off in the center of the training platform, their arms lax at their sides. Gatai lounged on a bench nearby, keeping a discreet eye on them. His spot was well-worn and had probably been used as often as the platform.

Angara propped a hand on her hip and stared at Kagome with an unreadable expression. "I was still quite young the first time I met Shippo," she began.

Kagome smiled at this, thinking that technically she was also pretty young the first time she met the kitsune.

The woman seemed distant as she thought back to old memories before continuing. "He was so confused about his path in life. He wanted to know everything, but could not speak our language to ask his questions." Angara cupped her palms in front of her torso, watching her fingers with careful intent.

Kagome shivered as Angara's barbs of control poked into the energies around them. Something clicked into alignment and time slowed just past the edge of the platform, and she wondered at the ease of control this woman had over things that were part of her, yet still so mysterious, so great and beyond her comprehension. She frowned and tried to get a better feel for what had changed, but it slipped through her clumsy attempts to understand. The power of the jewel was like wind blowing through a sail, tugging her along at the whims of its nature. Without a rudder or a skilled captain at the helm, she was getting tossed around at sea on a cloudy night. About the only thing she could do without trouble was share at people, and sometimes she thought that wasn't in her control at all.

Angara dropped her hands and murmured, "We learned countless things from one another, and he saved my life one night in a great fire that killed so many others. I used his magic recklessly that night, forcing it to do something he'd never once considered a possibility because I wasn't sure we'd live long enough to regret me taking the chance."

She tilted her head slightly, looking Kagome over from head to toe. "He learned quickly to adapt to a deadly situation." She flexed her fingers and rolled her neck and shoulders. A shimmer of silver caught Kagome's eye. Angara had a set of small throwing knives strapped to her arm. "We will stretch our muscles while we stretch your magic. Let us see which snaps first, hm?" Angara dropped into a loose stance, and Kagome glanced briefly to the spot where Gatai sat, stuck in regular speed.

Was this a normal part of their basic training?

Angara lunged, a light punch aimed at Kagome's torso. She slid back and to the side, dodging the strike. Three more quick swipes at her face and neck were easy enough to deflect with her palms, and Kagome hoped this was just a warm-up exercise before delving into her actual problems.

She didn't need combat practice. She needed to understand her magic, but if this lady had been teaching kids how to use their skills, there must be some method to this madness. She'd play along.

"He had a trace of your magic, a fluttering of sparkling pink near his heart that he treasured. Over the years he stayed with us, he told me stories of your adventures and showed me a little of what he could do with this mysterious magic that was not his, but refused to let me touch it for the longest time for fear that it might hurt me."

Angara somersaulted to the left and popped up into a low stance, kicking twice at Kagome's side. She managed to deflect the first, but the second grazed her hip. She might be left with a couple of bruises if she didn't try harder.

"I eventually used that magic in a moment of panic and realized it wasn't such a dangerous thing for someone like me."

Kagome quirked her eyebrows with interest, wondering what kind of youkai Angara might be that her magic didn't pose a threat. She hadn't had too many opportunities to really test where safe applications might occur. Inuyasha had survived lengthy exposures to her magic, but he was such a good soul. Shippo, too.

Had Angara been like that in her youth? Were all youkai technically safe from her unnatural magics so long as they didn't have darkness corrupting their spirits, or was it something more that she didn't quite understand?

"But after some time, Shippo had to leave us. He had other journeys to make before his human friends passed from old age, and I understood why he wanted to go. He promised he'd come back one day, and I missed him greatly."

She darted past Kagome and caught her in the back with an elbow jab before she could get out of the way. It seemed like Angara was moving a bit faster than she had been before. She wasn't sure how seriously she should take this sparring match, but Angara didn't seem to be showing any signs of easing up or slowing down.

"There were rumors that he had died," she said, her voice barely audible as she swept low and attempted to knock Kagome from her feet. She barely stepped out of the way in time. "No one really knew for certain, but the whisperings were enough to make us all believe the worst had happened."

Kagome's heart fell, knowing the truth, but she didn't say anything. It felt like this woman had something to get off her chest, and she let her speak as she tried to figure out what exactly Angara was expecting of her. Should she fight back? Go on the offensive? Or was this purely a defensive exercise to see what she could handle?

"When he returned to us some long years later, he had changed. He looked the same, and I had gotten much taller, but his magic was different." She punctuated this last word with a sharp palm strike that impacted Kagome's sternum, briefly knocking the wind out of her.

Kagome coughed and skipped backwards a few steps to get some space between them. This doesn't feel like nostalgic reminiscing, anymore.

"We both seem to have unique magic at our fingertips," Angara mentioned nonchalantly.

Kagome stared at her, trying to get a fresh read on her magic during the brief reprieve. There was nothing within this daughter of Baikal that she could understand, and it made no sense. There should be some trace of her father's magic within her. All the magical creatures she'd met resembled both parents unless they'd come into existence somehow other than 'the usual way.'

"Between just me and you," she said, propping her hands on her hips, "in all my long years of life I've never seen something like that before." She watched Kagome closely. "You left him with but a trace of magic in his youth. It was not his, so how did it grow over time to become such a strong presence within his heart?"

Kagome glanced away. He was different because he'd died, and she'd dumped a huge portion of herself into bolstering his grip on this plane of existence.

Her face must have betrayed some of what she was thinking, because when she looked back to make sure she wouldn't get surprised by an attack while she wasn't paying attention, Angara's eyes had narrowed dangerously.

Kagome felt the immediate need to explain herself, but she wasn't sure how much Angara knew. "I know what you're talking about. That was my doing."

Angara pressed her lips together in a deepening frown. "I don't understand."

Kagome continued on, "I may have made a bad choice, but I thought giving him more was in his best interest at the time."

Angara's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You really did such a thing?"

Kagome shrugged, only briefly glancing away. "Yeah." She was getting a little uncomfortable, like she was treading thin ice.

Angara couldn't believe was she was hearing. "More? Why? Did he ask for it?"

Kagome rubbed the back of her neck, feeling like she was about to get into trouble for something she thought she'd done right. "He didn't really have a choice," she trailed off. Glancing up at her darkening expression, she quickly added on, "He didn't have a choice because he'd died."

"What?" Angara's stricken expression felt like a mirror of her own the day before. Kagome shivered violently, remembering that it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since she'd witnessed that gruesome scene.

"Your magic…" Angara choked, "…after he'd died?" The concepts couldn't click into place as she gaped at her. She shook her head sharply as though jarring errant thoughts loose. "This makes no sense. He is not dead."

"No," Kagome agreed. "He's not." Anymore.

Angara scowled, her patience wearing thin. "How could you abandon him for decades?"

Kagome's brows furrowed in confusion. What was Angara so upset about? "Abandon Shippo? I couldn't stick around!" she protested.

Angara briefly bared her teeth before jerking the threads of control over the time magic within the training platform. Kagome blinked in surprise. Angara's image blurred briefly as she moved farther away in an instant. Her expression was stormy and fierce. "So you admit you left him behind?"

"I didn't want to!"

"But you did. You claimed him and then left him behind to suffer."

Kagome's mouth fell open. I did what?

Angara's fingers slipped over her arm and slowly pulled a knife free. She held it lightly between two fingers, staring at Kagome as the anger was replaced with a neutral expression.

Kagome swallowed nervously, putting her hands in front of her, ready to throw up a barrier to protect from any attacks. She prayed that her magic wouldn't fail her now in a time of need.

The energy around her shivered as Angara tossed the blade. Kagome's magic flashed and sputtered, a barrier flickering to life before dissolving into half-hearted sparks. Amazingly, the knife missed, and Angara leapt at Kagome's left side. She backpedaled and skipped out of the way with a squeak of alarm, unsure of how serious the fight actually was and confused about the accusations (and knife) that Angara had hurled in her direction.

Angara slid calmly past her and then twisted a thread of magic. Kagome felt the shift in time right before the blade reversed course and flew back to its starting position, punching straight through her shoulder like it wasn't there. The bodysuit didn't slow the blade in the slightest, nor did her flesh. The bloodied weapon landed precisely between Angara's fingertips. Kagome clutched her arm in shock, staring at Angara with disbelief.

"Localized time reversal. I didn't even have to aim, I just had to wait for you to step in the path of its return." She tilted her head, watching blood pour from the wound.

There wasn't a point she could grab to staunch the flow. If that knife had severed one of the major veins or arteries that passed through the shoulder, then even with immediate aid, she knew she was about a minute from losing consciousness and bleeding to death.

"It looks like you're losing a lot of blood," she murmured, stepping closer. "If you die, I wonder… will Shippo finally be released from your grasp? He has been gone from us for so many years now, and I'd have thought him dead if I hadn't been guaranteed otherwise. Somehow I believe this is your doing, again."

Kagome stumbled backwards, trying to keep her distance from the crazy female. The magic of the jewel was fuzzy and dampened by Angara's control, and it ignored her wound as she bled through her gripping fingers. Her hand shook as she tried to get at the seal on her abdomen, hoping a release of the magic would be just enough to overcome this restriction and save her life. She couldn't feel the paper under the fabric of the bodysuit, and she fumbled unsuccessfully with the fastenings along her side.

"Mortals are so very fragile. To think that one would dare drop a claim on an immortal being and then leave him to his fate. Did you not consider how it would break him? How he would suffer through the years?" Angara kicked her foot out and hooked one of Kagome's ankles, easily tripping her.

She gasped and stumbled, landing hard on her butt. "But I didn't break him on purpose! I didn't know what my magic would do." She didn't need the power of the jewel to heal. It was just a bonus, a faster means to an end. She squeezed her eyes shut and called for her miko energy. She should be able to seal the injury—

Kagome was shocked when Angara's hand flicked out and ripped away the bright pink flare from her wound. "Ignorance is no excuse. We love and protect our mortals, and they love and protect us. But for one to just take without consideration for others… you have deceived him for too long. I saw through his stories about your adventures together as colorful imaginings that children believe to be the truth."

"Wait," Kagome gasped, feeling lightheaded. She threw all caution to the wind and blurted out her truth. "You have it all wrong. I'm a time traveler, and I've only known him for a few years! Shippo's been gone lately because he's watching over my family. I was born only five years ago, and one of his best friends just died."

Angara knelt at her side, watching her face pale as blood poured over the sparkling grey stone.

Kagome briefly considered whether or not this was someone she could kill with her magic. Not likely. Angara had to still be alive in her present, otherwise Shippo wouldn't have had any reason to suggest that they meet. "His fate has been mixed up with mine over the centuries. I didn't do anything intending to hurt him. I asked to take back my magic once I knew it was breaking him, but he doesn't want me to."

"All the more reason to let this farce end, here and now."

She shook her head in denial. It couldn't end like this! "I don't know what he is to you, but he has always been free to be himself. I hold no claim over his heart."

"He has done as he pleased," she agreed. "That's the only reason I could be certain that he never knew the truth of what you'd done to him."

"I just didn't want him to go!" she shouted in desperation, her fingers squelching in the blood leaking from her wound. "That monster killed him. He took his last breath right in front of me. I couldn't…" She trailed off. "I couldn't let him go."

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a growing sense of hopelessness as time and her life bled away from her. "He was supposed to come back, meant to find me." She shivered, feeling very cold as she looked up at the woman hovering over her, hoping her words would make some sense. "He found me. Saved my life." She squinted past Angara, wondering if the light was getting brighter or if she was imagining things. "I'm supposed to go back to him." He's waiting for me.

After a long, breathless moment, Angara released her hold on the training platform and the magic flooded her system, burning through the wound in her shoulder as the injury sealed. She fell back against the stone with a sigh of relief, the cooling pool of blood beneath her soaking into her shirt.

"I would set him free if he'd allow it," she whispered, a tear dripping from the corner of one eye to trail into her hair.

"He treats your magic like a prize instead of the burden it truly is," Angara frowned.

"It has been his magic longer than it's been mine," Kagome murmured, rubbing a thumb over the hole in her bodysuit as she stared up at the sky. "He uses it like it's his."

"You are both broken idiots."

"Yeah."

"Explain more, so I might be convinced to not put you out of his misery before the sun sets."

Kagome sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know what he's told you, but I can tell you my side of things."

Angara was a mildly surprised to discover that the little priestess hadn't yet reached her twentieth year, and that such a young and inexperienced mortal had accidentally shared her power with a magic-starved kit. Curses, accidents, and unintentional whatevers had all come together with a twist in the timeline to have them both affect one another in their youths. She narrowed her eyes at the idea that he'd been sharing his magic at her since the day she'd been born. "You both have broken one another, and it's impossible to determine who truly made the first mistake."

Angara knelt next to her, tilting her head as she stared down at Kagome with a small frown. Her long hair slipped over a shoulder and brushed like cool silk over Kagome's wrist. "Perhaps I was too quick to pass judgment that you were the villain in his long story of suffering."

"Maybe a bit too hasty," Kagome agreed, pushing herself up to frown at the woman. "You speak of his life like it's been awful, but he has all these great stories of his adventures. From what little time we've had to catch up, it didn't sound like he's been living with nonstop doom and gloom."

"To have your base nature corrupted, to have that sublime joy of what you are stripped away before you've had a moment to enjoy it…? My ability allows me to experience the highs and lows of someone's magic. I know what he has been unable to use. I know what he has been missing."

Kagome pressed her fingers to her face. "I understand what you're saying, but just because he has missed out on something that would have been a part of who he is doesn't mean that he's suffered in misery. He can regain that part of himself if he'd just let me take back my magic. You're making it sound like someone blinded as a baby has just been horribly crippled for their entire existence, and that none of the other fulfilling ways they experience their days matter, because it isn't the same way everyone else lives."

"For a young and inexperienced girl that has made such awful mistakes, you have a surprising amount of wisdom."

Kagome grimaced. "If I dwell on all of the mistakes…" she trailed off with a shudder. "I can't regret what has shaped our present. All I can do is try to learn as I move forward."

Angara stood and held out her hand to help Kagome to her feet. "Very well, Kagome. You have a lot of learning to do."

AN: there's an inner monologue I wrote for Angara as she's walking down the hill with Gatai. I needed it to get all my ideas in order, but it really couldn't be published as part of this fic because it references some elements that are meant more for the original worldbuilding content that's going into a different story. I hope I got the point across well enough here, but there will be a bit more detail clarified in the next chapters.