Yeah… Yeah, I wrote a Valenfield. I'm as surprised as you are.

I'm not going to bother with a lengthy explanation as to how this came to be. Decided to try some Valenfield after thinking about RE 5 (Cause that was the second main RE game I played and even I knew they belonged together after seeing them), got distracted while reading by thinking of story ideas, eventually got carried away and came up with more than just ideas. That's about it.

But before we get into it, I'm going to ask you all for help.

A couple years back, I accidentally stumbled upon a Valenfield fic while looking for, you guessed it, Cleon. I somehow didn't realize it was Valenfield until after I started reading. Anyway, I never finished it and I cannot recall its name for the life of me. I'm hoping one of you might be able to tell the title of the fic so I can go back cause I actually really liked it.

It was set pre- RE 1, I'm fairly sure it covered Chris and Jill meeting for the first time, and one chapter in particular stuck in my mind.

Chris and Jill run into one another while Jill is out running (I think). It may have been in a park or perhaps that's just what I imagined. I think they sit down and talk at that point, but I can't be certain about much else. There may have been a small description about how one of their shirts was soaked with sweat, but that may be a false memory. If any of you can think of a fic like this please, PLEASE message me or leave it in the reviews because I have no idea how else to find it without scrolling through every Valenfield fic from a certain time period.

If it helps, I also read it on FF rather than AO3.

Even if it's an unfinished fic, I would love to go back and reread it. Who knows? Maybe it'll inspire me to write more Valenfield.

Thank you in advance to any who try to help me here.

Anyway, you're not here for my long author's notes, so on with the story.

Set post-RE 5 and edited by the one, the only, Xaori. Go read her amazing work.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Losing someone you care for is an indescribable sort of pain. No words do it proper justice.

Chris had experienced that sort of pain, that dread, more times than he'd care to admit, but there were four incidents in particular that would haunt him far more savagely than any other.

The first was losing his parents.

Their death was so sudden and Claire was still so young. He had to steel himself to make sure that she had someone to depend on. It was around that time that he learned what it really meant to be a man. To hide what you're feeling so that the people you love don't panic. It was hard. At times, it was too difficult to bear. But he persevered regardless.

Second, losing both Alpha and Bravo. S.T.A.R.S. was like a second family to Chris. Police work wasn't as rigid as military work, and while he was often at odds with the Chief of Police, hating one superior officer was better than hating most of them.

The entire reason why he left the military was his insubordinate attitude, which he was warned about before actually being recruited by the RPD. 'Won't tolerate disobedience' they told him.

Everyone in S.T.A.R.S. held a tight bond. They may have had their disagreements at times, but they were all good people.

Good people that deserved a lot better than they got.

As the buildings passed by him, Chris began sorting through mental photos of his lost teammates, but time had left them muddied and unclear. The only clear pictures that he possessed was what they looked like when they were either infected or killed by the infected.

It was a cruel sort of torture.

Chris' rogue thoughts almost made him not notice the red light in front of him.

He slammed the brakes, the tires of his car screeching against the asphalt as he came to a grinding halt.

This wasn't the first time that his memories distracted him from the world.

And it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

He checked the passenger seat, ensuring that his precious cargo wasn't damaged by the sudden stop.

Seeing nothing wrong, he continued on with his thoughts as he waited for the light to turn.

The city that he was driving through was just like Raccoon. His third loss.

While the city itself wasn't what Chris cared for, the people that called it home were a different story.

So much death and destruction.

He was in Europe when he heard about it, proof of Umbrella's wrongdoings so close that he could taste it. And then he saw the news.

The footage of the nuke being dropped was being played on a screen within the public square of the city, crowds gathering around it to gasp in utter terror.

His own knees buckled. He fell to the ground and held a shaking hand to his mouth. His stomach felt gone. Not empty, gone. He wanted to scream, but his voice was nowhere to be found.

While he might have been there a relatively short time, Chris certainly made friends. To think they were there one moment and gone the next…

His only respite was knowing that Barry had already been long gone and that Jill was planning on leaving sometime soon.

At the time, he held a blind sort of optimism over her survival. She was still supposed to be there another week, but it was entirely possible that she pushed her schedule forward. She could have made it. She had to have made it.

And she did make it.

She escaped the lost city, only to die a few years later when fighting Wesker.

His fourth and final haunting loss.

Jill was the best partner he ever had, the best agent in the BSAA as far as he was concerned.

And she was dead.

All to save him.

He commanded every search and rescue team that was sent after her, taking point in almost every operation to find her. After everything they'd been through together, there was no way that she was dead.

Even after the higher ups told him that they were abandoning the search in favor of labeling her KIA, Chris stayed and searched for two more weeks, breaking down every day, every hour, every minute that he couldn't find her.

The BSAA had to send a squad of men to get him back.

And he didn't go willingly.

But in his sleep deprived, broken state, he was hardly difficult to detain.

After that, he returned to civilian life for a couple months.

He sat in a silent house for quite a while, staring at his turned off TV with a drink in his hand, the sounds of the outside world completely nonexistent to his mind.

The only thing he could hear was the sound of Jill's scream as she tackled Wesker out the window and off a cliff.

He cracked when his parents died, broke after the mansion incident, shattered after Raccoon City, but Jill's death…

Jill's death killed him too.

He was a shell of his former self. A husk. Empty in every way that mattered.

Claire was the only person who managed to pull him back up.

She was persistent like that.

People often said that Chris was very stubborn, that once he put his mind to something, he wouldn't give up until it was done.

Those people never met Claire.

The younger Redfield sibling was far more tenacious than her elder brother, and she knew just how to bring him back from the brink.

He'd have to thank her someday soon considering what happened.

If it wasn't for her, he may have quit the BSAA altogether.

He may have never gone to Africa.

He may have never saved her.

Nearing his destination, Chris pulled the car to the side of the road, parking outside a very ordinary, pedestrian home in a suburb that he felt out of place in.

Exiting the car, he grabbed the bag from his passenger seat and began walking to the door.

The lawn of the house was freshly cut, the emerald grass almost inviting him to lie down on it.

A small garden of rose bushes flanking either side of the garage encouraged him to sniff them and take in their gentle scent.

Topiaries by the front door welcomed him to knock, almost like greeters.

The entire atmosphere of the house seemed so… foreign to him. So peaceful.

He used to picture himself in a home like this once upon a time. A beautiful wife, two kids, maybe a dog.

But that was so long ago.

Now…

Now he didn't know what home looked like. 'Anywhere without B.O.W.s or terrorists,' he supposes to himself.

But he had reflected on his thoughts long enough.

It was time. He had finally arrived.

So with a somewhat nervous feeling in his gut, he knocked on the door, waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?" A woman greeted, blindly opening the door to see a more than welcome face.

"Hey there, Partner," he softly greeted, the largest and most genuine smile he had ever managed plastered across his face.

"Chris!" Jill huffed in unexpected laughter, closing the distance between them to wrap her arms around his burly frame. "Come in." she cheerfully waved to him. "If I knew you were coming, I'd have ordered some food or made something."

"That's what I was afraid of," he chuckled as he stepped through the door.

Jill spun around so fast that he nearly didn't see it. "Are you saying I'm a bad cook, Redfield?" she asked, the tone of her voice doing very little to hide her threatening intent.

"Not at all," he shook his head, raising his free hand in surrender. "But it would have ruined the surprise."

"What surprise?"

He raised the nondescript bag up and dangled it in front of her.

"You… got me a brown paper bag… I am so shocked," the young Valentine deadpanned.

"Ha ha," he sarcastically howled, setting the bag on Jill's dining room table. "Get a couple of plates. Maybe a beer or two. Trust me, you're going to love this."

"What are you up to, Redfield?" she unsuredly asked while stepping into the kitchen and coming back out with Chris' requests.

Chris reached into the bag and pulled out a burger, setting it on the plate closest to Jill.

"You cooked me a hamburger?" she hesitantly asked.

She enjoyed eating them, but they were hardly her favorite and certainly not something that would warrant being called a surprise.

"Just take a bite," he encouraged, a confident and eager smile spreading across his face.

Jill took a look at the burger in front of her. It seemed completely normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. So, what made it a surprise?

Throwing a doubtful expression Chris' way, she picked up the burger and took a slow bite, shrugging with a sense of confusion until…

Chris could see the thoughts racing through her mind as she slowly began to recognize the flavor, his stupid grin only expanding even more despite his attempt to control his expression.

Jill covered her mouth with a single hand, a single finger pointed up, telling Chris to stay silent before taking another bite, letting her tongue fully embrace the familiar taste. "Is this…" she began, her mouth still full.

"Mhmm," he grinned. "That is a one hundred percent, authentic McAuley's Highlands burger."

"Oh my God!" Jill tearfully and quietly laughed, setting the burger down and wiping her mouth with a napkin as she was overcome with nostalgia.

McAuley's Highlands was a small bar and grill located near the RPD. It was essentially the city's most popular cop bar.

Memories of her time in S.T.A.R.S. flooded Jill's mind. The times she spent drinking and bonding with her fellow team members, the frequent drunk bets they'd always make, the dartboard that had less holes in it than the wall that it was adorned on.

"Where did you… I mean, how… What?"

Chris could no longer hold in his joyous laughter, nodding his head before asking, "One hell of a surprise, huh?"

She took another bite, her face shifting into an expression of utter bliss. "Oh~" she moaned, pointing at the burger. "How did you even get this?"

He shrugged, sitting back in his chair. "After you were presumed KIA, I had a lot of time off. Spent a lot of time alone, but my sister managed to get me out and about. Wasn't really sure if I was going to go back to the BSAA. Anyway, about a month or two before I came back, I decided to surprise Claire by visiting her up in Oregon. I needed to get out of the house and seeing Claire always cheered me up so it seemed like the best thing for me. Anyway, I go there and she takes me to this burger joint called 'The Highland Grill'. She tells me that the burgers there are like nothing else. We get our food and I have the same exact reaction that you just did. I stand up, go to the counter and demand to see the chef, and who do you think comes out?"

"Connor?!" she astoundedly yelled.

"Connor Mc-fucking-Auley!"

"He made it out of Raccoon City?!"

"The bastard wasn't even in Raccoon! He was on vacation in Scotland when everything happened!"

"Oh my God! What did he say when he saw you?"

Chris cleared his throat, preparing his best attempt at a Scottish accent. "Jaysus fuck! Redfield, is tha' yew?!"

Jill covered her mouth, hoping to stifle her cacophonous laugh.

That sounded like the owner of McAuley's Highlands. The man was an old, set-in-his-ways bastard who would cuss out the judge in his own court case. There was no doubt that he'd yell something like that in the middle of his own business.

It's what made him so endearing to the officers at the RPD. He'd pour them all a drink while telling them that he'd piss in their beer the moment they weren't looking. He never failed to get a laugh out of them.

"I can't believe this," she muttered. "Do you have any idea how long I've missed the taste of these things?" Jill took another bite, overcome with a flavor fueled euphoria. "Christ, I love this thing…"

Chris proudly nodded, reaching into the bag, pulling out another burger and placing it on his plate. "I was trying to think of something I could do to welcome you home, and I remembered that Connor gave me his number. So I call him up, tell him that I found you in Africa, and ask if he'd be willing to fly out and cook us up some burgers. Told him I'd pay for everything and that he could treat it like a vacation. You know what he tells me?"

Jill shook her head, an eager smile across her face as she awaited Connor's words.

"Fuck no, ya roid ragin' monkey! I'm no' leavin' ma business to cook for yew an' yer dishwasher!"

"Wait," she stopped him. "So, how'd you get the burgers?"

Chris excitedly but restrictively banged his fist once on the hardwood table. "He taught me how to make them," he whispers with child-like glee, holding back his already massive smile.

Jill's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. "No…" she breathed near silently. "No, you're lying, you have to be!"

He sat up straight and put a hand over his heart. "Hand to God," he swore. "He told me all of the ingredients and coached me over the phone for the past week."

"That stubborn, old curmudgeon wouldn't wish someone good morning even if there was a gun to his head! What did you do, sell your soul?"

"Nothing!" Chris shook his head. "He's the one who offered. Said that it was his way of telling you to come visit."

"Well, I guess I know where I'm going for my next vacation," she laughed.

Jill took another bite, letting the taste wash over her again as Chris took a bite of his own burger.

As they ate together, the two friends began exchanging old stories, reminiscing their memories from so long ago.

It was one of the rare times in either of their lives where remembering Raccoon City wasn't a burden, but something that they could think of fondly.

The Alphas, the Bravos, every member of S.T.A.R.S. would meet together to eat and drink. They'd laugh and celebrate when someone got promoted or made a big arrest, or they'd support and lean on one another when something happened. McAuley's Highlands was their home away from home.

So many stories were created in that wonderful place…

Forest Speyer, Bravo's sharpshooter and the only person who measured up to Chris' level, once challenged his Alpha counterpart to a game of darts to see who could make the most bullseyes.

The challenge was readily accepted and after ten rounds, with each competitor throwing three darts a round, the result was a miraculously high score of two bullseyes for Chris and a single bullseye for Forest.

The next day, Forest jokingly insisted that had they been sober, Chris' score would stay almost the same while his would be at least twenty.

When Rebecca first joined the team, the bar had been closed early so that the S.T.A.R.S. could enjoy the place to themselves.

The young medic was beyond sheepish while meeting her overly enthusiastic team. So much so that Barry had taken her aside and explained to her how most of the people within the division had military experience that ensured a type of overwhelming camaraderie to be shared with everyone.

There was also a time when every member of the team, save for Jill, Wesker, and Barry, had challenged the bar's namesake to a drinking contest that lasted all of five minutes.

Connor McAuley poured every man to challenge him four large steins while giving himself six. Once someone finished their beer, they were required to run from one end of the Highlands to the other without falling or tripping on anything. Connor told them all that if even one of them managed to beat him that he'd empty the register and give them all an equal share of what was inside as well as free beer to whoever beat him for the next month.

The old Scotsman finished every one of his drinks within two minutes and never even bothered to walk away from his seat, instead opting to examine each of his glasses to ensure that he drank every last drop.

To add even more insult to the young S.T.A.R.S. members, he then took a rag from behind the counter and began wiping the glasses dry.

It wasn't until he saw Enrico Marini on the last half of his final pint that Connor leisurely strolled from one end of the Highlands to the other, whistling a tune as he did so.

After that, he proceeded to pull each unfinished drink away from his 'competition' and downed them all.

He charged every man to challenge him twice the normal price that night, telling each and every one of them 'Any a yew bastard e'er think tha' yew can beat me at drinkin' ever again, I'll be here ta remind yew young pups tha' I'm the strongest bull in this pasture'.

Thinking back on those days from another life was solemnly therapeutic. The world was such a better place before Raccoon City. Remembering it always brought a heavy sense of depression.

But not today…

Both Jill and Chris were in tears, laughing at those simpler days before bio-terror and world-ending viruses.

The latter among them felt a great sense of relief because of that. He never meant for them to tread along this path, but it seemed to be a good thing. Not only for her, but for him too. Too many people died in both the mansion incident as well as Raccoon City, but thinking back on those brighter days almost made them forget that the S.T.A.R.S. had long since died.

There was a break in the laughing, both of them silently looking at the empty plates in front of them with wistful smiles. Chris looked back up at his partner and extended a beer towards her. "To S.T.A.R.S.,' he toasted.

Jill returned the gesture in kind, clinking her glass against his. "To S.T.A.R.S.."

Another moment of silence, this one far more oppressive than the last.

But Jill would be the one to break it this time.

"Thank you," she said. "I think I needed this."

"Anytime, Jill," Chris replied, holding a look in his eyes that Jill hadn't seen before. It seemed gentle, soft. It's not as if her partner never held those sorts of attributes, but something about it was different.

She shook her thoughts away, forcing herself back on track.

"Everyone's been treating me like I'm made of glass or something ever since I got back. So afraid that I'm gonna shatter or something. Aside from the boys in the lab, but they're colder than ice so it's not much better when you think about it." Jill leaned back in her chair, taking a drink from her beer. "Honestly though, I expected you to be worse."

Chris chuckled under his breath slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "If I'm being truthful, I was in the beginning. I was so scared that I imagined everything and that if I got too comfortable, I'd wake up from some cruel dream. But then I remembered something." He gave her an almost smug, knowing look.

"And what might that be, Mister Redfield?" she dramatically asked, leaning forward with her hand holding up her head that just barely covered her smile.

"I remembered that I'm talking about Jill 'The Master of Unlocking' Valentine."

Jill rolled her eyes. The nickname, while somewhat appropriate, was also very clunky and awkward sounding. Still, it had been so long since she was referred to by that name that she couldn't help but smile.

"If there's one person in this world that could go through all of that and come out the same as they went back in, it's you."

"Come on," she laughed, shaking her head. "I'm not some superhero."

"Maybe not, but you've certainly done enough to deserve that kind of title."

Rolling her eyes again, she changed the subject. Not because she didn't like the sound of praise, but rather because despite how well she might be handling everything, it still wasn't easy. She had nightmares before she had been kidnapped by Wesker. The only difference now was what haunted her dreams.

"Enough about me. What have I missed with you? Any news having to do with you and a certain girl in the tech department?" she asked, harkening back to a conversation two years ago and on the same day that she became lost to Chris.

Chris held a shocked look for several seconds before howling out in laughter. "I can't believe you actually remember that!"

"'Course I remember," she shrugged, reaching over to punch Chris' shoulder. "I remember everything that has to do with my partner."

Chris' laughter eventually died down, but before answering, he held his gaze over the table they were sitting at, gently bobbing his closed fist on the hardwood as his smile became more melancholic, pairing itself with his pensive eyes.

He cleared his throat and looked at her, answering Jill's question with a soft voice that was barely above that of a whisper. "If I'm being honest, I kind of forgot she existed after everything happened."

"Really?" A stupid feeling of guilt ran through Jill's mind. It wasn't her fault that Wesker had kidnapped her, that Chris thought she had died, but she still couldn't help but feel responsible for ruining the potential relationship for such a long-time friend. Had there been another way to save Chris, if she had figured something out, maybe he could have found someone he could be happy with.

"Yeah…"

His words hung there for a moment. Jill could tell when Chris was deep in his thoughts. He was finding the words to something. She didn't know what, but it was clearly something that had been weighing on him.

"I was so focussed on finding you," he finally said, adding on with a trembling voice, "It was the only thing I could think about. I camped out in the woods just to make sure I wouldn't lose whatever imaginary trail I had stumbled on. But there was this one day that I just… I couldn't do it anymore… I woke up and couldn't even stand. I was staring up at the sky for I don't even know how long when I suddenly just broke into tears."

"Chris…"

She reached for his hand, but he hastily pulled it away, holding up a finger that told her to stay silent while still staring intensely at the table.

He took in a slow, deep breath through his nose before continuing, his voice a little more steady than before.

"All I could do was think about you. I thought about the first time we met, the Mansion Incident, Raccoon City, and I kept telling myself that there was no way that after all of our time together, you'd just up and die."

Again, Chris grew silent.

Jill slowly reached for his hand, this time managing to wrap her slender fingers around his lightly clenched fist.

"Jill, I didn't just come here because I wanted to surprise you with those… those stupid burgers." He made a jerking gesture towards their plates, a sad anger permeating his words.

She waited patiently for him to answer her unspoken question. 'Then why did you come here?'

"That day, when I just broke inside, you were all I could think about. The time that I spent with you, the horrible memories that the two of us shared, the… the desire for a better world that we were fighting for… It wasn't long until I realized that I was thinking about everything that you and I had in common. And after that, I started thinking about those small things that I never really appreciated or even noticed. The way you'd sometimes draw little lockpicks on paperwork in the middle of boring meetings, or how some days when I was tired after work, you'd just grab my hand and pull me to your car so that the two of us could go to a bar and bitch about the higher ups doing something stupid…"

He wasn't finished, but Jill felt such an intense need to apologize to him. She never wanted him to feel this sort of grief, nor did she ever know that this is what her death would have caused.

"I'd just lift my hand in front of my face and remember how soft and warm yours could be. Then I remembered how much it made both of us laugh whenever someone mistook our relationship for… something more. And then all I could think about was your laugh and how musical it sounded. And that beautiful, beautiful smile that you'd pair it with…"

By now, Jill was getting somewhat confused by the tangent. It wasn't far from where he had started from, but something was different. His expression, his tone… Both were telling her something, but what?

"Chris?" She cut him off only to be ignored as he continued on.

"I never realized how much I loved that smile, or that laugh, or that warmth until it was gone." He finally looked up at her, his expression completely serious, the words that he spoke, completely serious. "I never realized how much I loved you until you were gone."

Never before had Jill felt such an impact. Her heart sank all the way to her feet. 'Does he mean this how I think he does?' she asked herself.

Chris unclenched his fist and gingerly wrapped his fingers around hers. "I love you, Jill Valentine. I love you with all my heart," he gruffly whispers to her.

She couldn't move.

She couldn't speak.

She couldn't breathe.

Chris suddenly stood from his seat, taking a few short steps to reach Jill's side where he cupped the side of her shell-shocked face, strands of her blonde hair licking the skin of his rough hands. "Jill?" he whispered, hoping for an answer.

"I… I-I…"

Though her mind couldn't process any words, she was able to gather enough brain power to spastically reach for Chris' hulking frame and pull herself up and delicately hold either side of his face, her confused and bewildered expression still very present as she breathlessly ordered, "Wha… I-I mean- I- Say it again!"

He pulled her closer, wrapping one hand across the small of her back while his other cradled her head into his chest. "I love you, Jill Valentine."

She pushed herself free of his grasp just enough to blindly and hazily crash her lips against his, the stubble across his cheek scratching and tickling her face in a strangely tantalizing manner.

Jill had no idea what she was doing within this one moment. She didn't think to do this, she didn't decide this, she just let herself do it. There was no guiding force aside from a sheer lack of inhibition.

She had very few romantic relationships ever since she first joined the BSAA and there were times when she longed for it. She'd let her eyes wander across the office and gauge the men she saw, but whenever Chris entered her sights she'd just incredulously shake her head and go back to work.

She had known him for so long, they had been friends for so long…

There was no way it could ever happen.

No way at all.

Never.

That's what she always thought.

Chris was a comrade, a teammate, a partner.

So why is it that his confession had stopped her heart so readily? Why did she ask herself if it was possible? Why was she scared things would never be the same? Why was she so passionately kissing him?

More than anything though, why did it matter?

Why shouldn't it be possible?

Why should she be scared?

Risk taking was ill advised in their line of work. An uncalculated risk could kill someone who wasn't properly prepared, but when the benefits outweighed the risks so vastly…

Neither knew how long they had stood there in such a passionate embrace, what's more, neither cared.

They broke it momentarily, gasping for air as they stared into one another's eyes with panic and apprehension.

Chris tried to speak. "I-"

And he was immediately silenced by another kiss, Jill's hands eagerly, yet hesitantly spreading out across his body.

With her senses returning to some semblance of normality, Jill clumsily began guiding Chris down the hall, hoping to not break their kiss again for even a second. They banged against the walls, sending picture frames crashing to the ground as they continued on blindly towards her bedroom, where upon finally reaching, its door violently slammed shut with enough force to be heard from outside.

Well... It's done. I doubt I'm going to write another one of these, but what did everyone think?