Yet Still We Sail
Part 8
"Welcome to the casa de Fletcher!" Faye Faith said grandly as she led Tally into her apartment. Compared to the only other shipgirl residence Tally had been into, Faye Faith's home was much more barren, except in the kitchen. There was a TV and small entertainment center in the living room area, along with a few posters on the walls, and a very comfortable looking couch. But it was all very normal for an apartment like this.
All in all, not what Tally was expecting for a shipgirl's home, especially one that was home to four of them, now five.
"Tally? Er, Evans?" Faye Faith asked, looking concernedly at the redhead.
"Tally is fine," Tally said, smiling and waving her friend's - no, her sister's worries away. "I think I'd prefer it when we aren't directly doing shipgirl stuff. Calling me Evans all the time is just gonna make me feel like more changed than actually did, like I'm a stranger in my own body."
"Got it!" Faye Faith smiled, and pulled Tally into a quick, but tight hug. "Anyways, while we're technically split between three rooms right now, with Henley and Capps sharing one, most of the time the four of us just sleep all cuddled up on the big bed in the master bedroom. Helps drive off the nightmares. But if you don't want that, you can either take the couch, or a spare cot we've got stowed away somewhere."
Tally considered the offer for a moment. "The couch will do for now. I don't exactly know how long it'll be until I move back into my dorm room, so I don't want to get too settled in if it ends up only being a little while."
"Of course, makes perfect sense!" Faye Faith nodded. "So this is the living room. The kitchen is over that a way, and feel free to try and make something for yourself if you need to. We always keep the kitchen and pantry stocked. The bathrooms and three bedrooms are over here. I've got the master on the left, Capps and Henley share the far room on the right, while Hadley has the near one on the right. Bathroom is the first door on the left."
"Pretty simple tour," Tally noted.
"It's not a big apartment.," Faye Faith shrugged. "We aren't even really supposed to have four people sharing it, but the Navy's footing the bill. Need anything to help you get settled in?"
Tally shook her head. "Nah, I'm good for the moment. Though, is there somewhere private? I need to make a phone call."
"Master bedroom," the blonde offered. "I'll make sure the others don't bother you when they get back."
"Thanks, sis," Tally inclined her head towards the elder shipgirl in a half-nod sort of motion. With that, Tally slipped away from Faye Faith and made her way over to the indicated room. The blonde hadn't been exaggerating the size of the bed, which practically took up the entirety of the room, with barely enough room for a desk, dresser, and chair.
Tally sighed, and sat down on the bed. She'd been dreading this phone call, having put it off over the weekend. But… it was something that needed doing. She pulled her brand new cell phone out of her hold and considered it for a moment. It would be so easy to just… play a few games of Solitaire first, maybe do a sudoku puzzle.
No. As scared as she was, it needed doing.
She dialed a long-since memorized number, and held the device up to her ear. It rang once… twice… halfway through the third ring, someone answered the phone.
"Evans household, Monika speaking," a drowsy voice answered, and Tally cringed despite herself. Freaking time zones…
"Hey Mom," Tally ventured. "Sorry I didn't contact you sooner."
"Tally? Oh thank god you're safe! Do you know how worried we all were when we got the news?" Tally's mom said quietly.
"A friend and I got hurt during the attack, and we were pretty much out of sorts until Thursday," Tally explained. "We're both feeling better now, but we both lost our phones. Mine got shredded, and Faye Faith found half of it in my ruined jacket."
"Are you okay?" her mom asked, the worry in her voice coming through clear.
"Yeah, we're okay," Tally answered. "We both stayed with Kay for a few days over the weekend, and we're both up and moving now. I was hurt worse than Lou was. The shell's concussion knocked me out, lots of splinter damage in my up- my torso, I dislocated my left arm, and sprained both ankles in the fall."
"Poor baby…"
"I'm all patched up now. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing."
"Still," her mom insisted, "don't scare me or your father like this ever again, please. You're very fortunate those shipgirls appeared to drive off the Abyssal attack."
"Agreed," Tally agreed. "Also, my dorm building got damaged in the attack and hasn't been repaired yet, so I'm staying with a friend. I think I've mentioned Faye Faith before?"
"Once or twice. She's the one who runs a food truck, right?"
"Yup, that's her," Tally confirmed, nodding despite the fact that her mom was on the other side of the Pacific right now. "I'm staying at her apartment for the time being."
"It's good that you have a place to stay. I'm very sorry you had to go through all of that," her mom said. "We are very fortunate that we live far enough inland that we didn't get attacked."
Tally sighed in relief. "Thank god… But enough about the attacks and the insanity engulfing the world. How are things back home?"
"Well, school is going well," Tally's mom began. "I don't seem to have any troublemakers in my classes, and the students even seem to enjoy being taught English for once."
"I don't know how…" Tally muttered.
"Tally…" her mom scolded gently. "I know for a fact you enjoyed my class."
"That's just because you let Rach and I work ahead and let us do our own thing! All three of my essays were only tangentially related to the assigned topic!" Tally insisted. "I was bored out of my skull during the actual lessons."
"Well, my students this trimester seem to enjoy it," her mom stated, and that was the end of that. "Sasha scored two goals in this weekend's soccer game."
"Nice!"
"And Marie has been inspired by the appearance of the shipgirls. She's decided to dye her hair blue, and is working on a special project in her CAD class that revolves around ships."
Tally blinked. Her little sister was inspired by the shipgirls? That… that was going to be interesting, especially if she started researching the ones who had saved her big sister's schoolship. That would certainly be an awkward way for her family to learn she was one of them…
"Huh," Tally huh'd. "Not the path I would expect her to be inspired by."
"It does seem a little outside her fantasy ballpark," her mom agreed. "But who am I to argue about where inspiration comes from? So long as the pen flows, the source of inspiration matters not."
"And dad?"
"Your father has moved out to the coast to help the damaged communities rebuild. A carpenter is very useful for that sort of thing. He's even met a shipgirl stationed out of Astoria, a USS Washington."
"Washington helping out in Washington, huh?" Tally asked, the grin on her face carrying through her voice.
"So it would seem," her mom agreed. The older woman let out a yawn. "Well, it's nearly 3 AM, and I do have class to teach in the morning. We all love you, and we worry about you Tally, especially in these trying times."
"I love you too, Mom. Good night."
"Good night, Tally," her mom said, before the line went dead.
Tally let her hand hang down, the phone still firmly in her grip.
The one thing she'd wanted to talk about… the one massive change in her life… if anyone would have advice on how to handle all that, it would be her parents. And she didn't have the courage to bring it up.
"Fuckin'... god dammit!" Tally cursed as she stowed her phone back into her hold. "Come on, Tally, you're better than this!"
Someone knocked at the door. "You okay in there Evans? That was some pretty violent cursing!"
It was Hadley. Tally hadn't seen much of the brunette since everything kicked off last week, but they'd been friends since well before everything. It didn't hurt that the first year… the Sumner often needed homework help, and coincidentally asked Tally for help.
She was also a right pain in the ass who refused to call her anything but Evans, and constantly threw things at people to make sure they were on their toes. At least Tally had never had much issue with the thrown objects.
"I'm fine!" Tally responded, opening the door.
"So there's nothing to worry about?" Hadley asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Absolutely nothing to worry about!" Tally concurred. "I just got off the phone with my mom is all. Family business, letting them know I'm alive, all that."
"Ohhh…" Hadley said, nodding in understanding. "I have no idea what that's like. At least, not with a regular human family. Not very many Sumners have shown up yet, either."
A memory popped into Tally's mind, one of a very similar conversation she'd had with Hadley nearly 70 years ago. It very clearly wasn't her own memory, and yet it was. It was just one of Evans' memories instead of one of Tally's.
"Gah…" Tally groaned, shaking her head. "I miss when everything was sane. None of this shipgirl nonsense or Abyssal War, just… I was worrying about doing stuff with my friends, dating Kay, busy with schoolwork, and doing Sensha-do. And that was pretty much it."
"Well, if you want a little dose of normalcy…" Hadley smiled softly.
"You need homework help?"
"I need homework help," Hadley confirmed with a nod. "English class."
Tally sighed dramatically, but smiled nonetheless. "Let's go clear some space at the kitchen table. Maybe we can ask Fletcher to make us a snack of some sort while we work."
"Haha, homework and food!" Hadley cheered, pumping a fist into the air.
At 11 in the evening, the "coastal" winding roads of the schoolship were quiet. Well, they've always been quiet, but at this time of night they were always particularly quiet.
The only thing that betrayed the silence was the roaring of an inline-4 engine that echoed out and around the area, followed by the squealing of tires from the car they belonged to.
The red Caterham Super Seven 1700 barreled down a straight, clearly breaking every single traffic law that existed on the schoolship. Not that they were ever enforced here, though; that's why Louise loved coming here to have her spirited drive. A very spirited drive.
Before a right turn, the girl braked hard and heel-toe-downshifted, the Caterham's brakes just barely away from locking up. Having slowed down enough, Lou trailing the brakes off as she turned the wheel and aimed for the corner's apex. She held her throttle down as much as she could, feeling the lateral Gs and the slight roll of her car as she cleared the apex, but one of her fine throttle adjustments turned out to be a little too excessive. Countersteering for just a split second, the minor oversteer was quickly corrected just as the car cleared the corner, and with a straightaway right ahead, the brunette floored it.
After several more minutes of that kind of driving, Tuckerman pulled into a carpark overlooking the sea, a carpark that was her frequent stop every time she drove here. Stopping in her usual lot, she pulled the handbrake up, grabbed her water bottle and stepped out of the Super Seven, happily looking at the scenery in front of her.
It had been a while since she's driven like this, and she was glad that she finally got the chance this night.
Taking in a few gulps of water, the brunette wiped the sweat away from her forehead. Her driving was admittedly still a bit unrefined, but she had been making much progress since she joined the club.
Though, as Lou looked ahead and into the distance, the 1701 cc Cosworth Crossflow BDR engine of her car grumbling just behind her as the wind blew around her, she had the chance to reflect on everything once again.
Especially on herself.
St Louis…
Her memories were so painful.
She had so much anger. So much hatred.
She was so rude and hostile to everyone she cared about, and Louise was extremely upset about it. She was never like this, and she never wanted to be like this.
But St Louis simply doesn't care. She kept pushing her to be so unpleasant. And whenever she did, Louise couldn't stop it.
This terrified her.
She didn't want every word out of her mouth to be so self-righteous, full of scorn, disdain, and belittlement.
She never felt that Henley was actually annoying, and neither did she ever feel upset by her, from what little interaction she had with her prior to the cruiser's manifestation. But that day, she punched her.
She never wanted to stop arguing with Tally, even if she does get puzzled by the redhead's insistence on refusing her plans for the team; it was fun. But just earlier today, she shot her down.
Louise felt like she was losing control. Turning into someone she clearly wasn't.
She took another gulp from her bottle, a look of determination in her eyes.
This stops. Now.
Lou didn't care how much it'll take, how hard she had to consistently keep herself in check. She was not going to submit to the darkness of the cruiser that she was.
She was staying as herself. Nothing would change. Nothing would ever change.
No matter how hard she had to fight.
With her newfound determination, Lou smiled and turned back to her Super Seven, having had her fill of resting.
And a short while later, now behind the wheel of her car again, she backed out of the parking lot, the inline-4 engine roaring as the red roadster left the carpark and headed back to the garage.
Tally couldn't sleep. The couch at Fletcher's apartment was comfy, certainly comfier than the hide-a-bed at Kay's house, but she just couldn't get comfortable. There was something missing that she just didn't know what it was. To make it worse, every time she managed to find a little bit of comfort and closed her eyes, images of Okinawa assaulted her mind.
If this was what insomnia felt like, Tally pitied everyone who suffered from it.
It was midnight now. She'd been tossing and turning for nearly two hours, and had only managed to fray her nerves with the haunting memories. Something needed to change.
Fletcher had mentioned something about the other destroyers generally all just sleeping in one large cuddle pile, but they had all turned in earlier as well. Tally didn't want to disturb them by joining the pile. Instead, another idea sprang to mind. She usually ran to clear her head, and this was one of those situations where running was about perfect.
"And it's a better idea than anything else I've got…" Tally muttered to herself as she sat up, throwing what few covers she had every which way. She carefully gathered and folded all of the loose sheets and stuffed them into her hold, before changing out of her pajamas and doing the same with them.
Quite unintentionally, the shoes and coat that she pulled on were from her shipgirl uniform. The heavy armored boots were somehow more comfortable than any other pair of shoes she owned, and the black peacoat was surprisingly comfortable for how stiff it was.
The destroyer made sure she had a key before setting out. Right now, she didn't have a route or a destination in mind, she was just going to run. It didn't take long for her to fall into a consistent rhythm.
One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two…
As she ran, her mind wandered. Her life had changed dramatically in a week, much more so than almost everyone else at Saunders. Sure, the schoolship had been attacked, and would remain in dock til at least the end of the month to ensure everything was repaired, but with a few minor exceptions, most everyone had just gone back to business as usual. School, friends, homework, extra-curriculars, the whole shebang.
Even the shipgirls seemed like this was more of the same, just on a slightly more active footing. They had known this was coming, and now that it had started, they could do something about it without having to work almost entirely in the shadows.
But for herself and Louise… not only had their whole world been turned upside down, it had practically been turned inside out as well! She was a destroyer, a warship that had been scrapped in 1947 following irreparable damage, with a whole extra set of memories, and a whole new family to get to know and bond with.
And Lou… Tally was worried for her friend. She was taking the adjustment period a lot harder, and half of the time, Tally didn't even know if she was talking to Louise anymore. Lou was stubborn as a tank and stalwart in her ideas, but she'd just… she'd given up earlier, refusing to get involved! That was nothing like Lou!
Tally paused for a moment, and took in her surroundings. She'd unintentionally routed over to her old dorm. Most of the damage had at least been cleaned up, but the building was still noticeably worse off than it should be. She could even see her dorm room, right on the edge of where the 14-inch shell had slammed into the building. All of her stuff had probably been ruined by the blast or shrapnel.
Dammit…
She shook her head and turned back towards the road she had been following. As she walked, the echo of a loud engine revving reached her ears. It was something she hadn't heard before, which was weird, since she'd heard just about every car and tank engine on the damn ship at one point or another.
The sounds grew louder as the redhead continued her run; whatever car that was, it was getting closer.
It was still out of sight, but it was practically right ahead of her, just around the corner at the intersection. Though, it didn't stay there for long, and a red roadster drove into view as it took a left turn, towards Tally.
As the car approached the redhead, it slowed down before pulling over to the side of the road, right next to Tally.
"What are you doing here this late?" Louise greeted her friend from the driver's seat.
Tally stared at the car and its driver for a moment. "Lou? What are… nevermind. I couldn't sleep, so I'm out for a run right now."
"I see," the brunette nodded. "What's bothering you?"
"Oh, you know… couldn't get comfortable on my bed, every time I closed my eyes I saw Okinawa, worrying about my math test in two days. The usual," Tally said casually, shrugging.
"Ah. Well… can't say I'm any better off I guess," Lou shrugged back.
"Feeling better after earlier?" Tally asked. "You were acting weird on the drive back from Sasebo."
"Yeah, I was," the brunette nodded sadly. "Sorry about what I said then, I really didn't mean it."
"It's fine," Tally waved off her friend's concern. "You're having a much rougher time adjusting to all this than I am, so it's understandable you're a little off kilter… and, speaking of, how are you doing with all that?"
"Well…" Lou began, but stopped. "Before that, aren't ya gonna ask me about my car?" she grinned proudly. "Think it's your first time seeing her!"
Tally shrugged. "I mean, it's a car. You were clearly going fast in it, so it's a good car, but it's still just a car."
"No, don't say that!" the brunette groaned. "Cars aren't 'just cars', the same way our tanks aren't 'just tanks'. Either way, wanna hop on?" she offered.
"Sure, why the heck not?" Tally said, before clambering into the car. "Well, I'm certain that my tank is more than 'just a tank', but cars I'm still not sold on. Jane's never claimed to be able to talk to them."
"Well, I've not seen this one's spirit like I've seen Ace yet, and if she doesn't have one like that it'll be a bummer," Lou commented as she put the Super Seven into gear, but kept her left foot down on the clutch. "But it's also just as meaningful if it turns out her spirit's me; cars are the extension of one's self after all. Either way, cars are more than what most people see them as."
"Wait, you've seen Ace's spirit?" the destroyer asked suddenly.
"Yeah, Jane was there," Louise smiled. "She was shocked to learn about me being a shipgirl, so we sorta left her alone to take it in."
"Huh," Tally huh'd. "That is so weird. I bumped into Izumi earlier, too."
"Woah, you have?"
"Yeah. Came completely out of the blue while I was scrubbing her. She's adorable."
"Heh, figured she would," Tuckerman smiled. "Anyway, where do you wanna go?"
"I don't have anywhere in mind; I was just running to run. You're the one who offered me a ride."
"Alright then, let's go," Lou grinned as she released the clutch while simultaneously hitting the gas.
The Super Seven launched forward, its rear tires screeching as it rocketed down the street.
Tally cheered wildly.
Over the course of the next few minutes, the brunette brought the redhead over to the schoolship's own racing circuit, situated just next to the automotive club's garage. There, she proceeded to demonstrate a few laps flat-out to Tally, hoping that this was something her friend would be interested in. Perhaps the girl would like to join the club sometime later.
"Can't this thing go any faster?" Tally asked, having to shout over the wind whipping past them.
Louise took another corner, driving the Caterham over the limit as she barely managed to stay on the track. "What?! This isn't fast enough for you?!"
"That would imply there is such a thing as 'too fast!'"
"You need to try out one of the single-seaters then!" was the reply shouted back at her. "This is perfect for me! It's fun driving flat-out!"
The red roadster took another corner, but this time Lou gave the car too much throttle. Countersteering too much, she spun off the circuit, coming to a stop on the grass harmlessly a few seconds later.
"Goddamn, too much gas…" Lou muttered as she rested back in her seat.
"That was fun! Haha, speed!" Tally cheered, grinning like the maniac she was.
Seeing how happy her friend was, the brunette chuckled loudly. "Yep, it's great! This is the best thing ever! Except for Sensha-do, of course."
"I dunno, sliced bread is pretty spectacular if you ask me!" Tally joked, her grin refusing to fade.
"Join the car club someday!" Louise urged eagerly. "You'll get to do this every day if you want! There are also so many people around to be with, too!"
"I would, but I just don't have the time," Tally shook her head. "Between Sensha-do, Tankathlon, being Turkey Company's CO, helping out in the Workshop, and all my regular school stuff, plus now shipgirl training, I've barely got enough time for myself as is!"
"Yeah, that's quite the schedule," Louise nodded. "Nonetheless, if you want to do this again, we'll do it! Whenever you want!"
"I'll definitely take you up on that at some point!" Tally agreed. If she had to guess, her grin was about as bright as a star shell on a moonless night.
"Sweet! Damn, I'm thirsty," the brunette finally noticed. "Hey, do you know about the 24/7 milkshake shack nearby?"
"I've been once or twice, but I've got some water bottles in my hold if you need one," the destroyer suggested. "Also, language."
"Nah, my treat!" Louise grinned as she put her Super Seven into gear, the roadster leaving the grass patch and back onto the circuit. "Food's about to get a lot cheaper for us anyway."
A few minutes later, the two of them were seated inside the shop, having gotten their milkshakes already; while Louise went with French vanilla, Tally went for an old classic: butterscotch. Despite it being past midnight, there were quite a number of students around. Seemed like getting milkshakes in the middle of the night was a favorite amongst many people.
Outside, the red Caterham Super Seven was visible through the large glass windows, and quite a few people had stopped to look at the car, some of them even taking photos. Indeed, the red roadster was quite a sight.
"Oh, fuck yeah, that did the trick," Lou sighed in relief as she finished her entire glass.
"Language."
In response, Tuckerman chuckled heartily. "Back to the good ol' days, eh?"
"That is the plan, yes. Try to get some sense of normalcy back into our lives," Tally said with a nod.
"Yep," Lou agreed as she looked out of the window.
"Hey, do you mind if we head back to the car and just drive around for a bit?" Tally asked, looking up from her similarly finished shake. "There's something I wanted to check in with you about."
"So do I," was the short, quiet reply as she raised her car's keys. "Now?"
"Yeah," the redhead confirmed with a nod.
Getting up, the two girls headed back to the Caterham, and a short few minutes later the roadster was simply cruising around, the brunette having no particular destination in mind.
"How are you doing, Lou?" Tally asked after a long few minutes of relative silence. "In relation to St Louis and all, well, this," the destroyer gestured to herself, and the parts of her shipgirl uniform that she was still wearing. Thankfully, at least, the armored boots fit beneath her sweatpants, so most of their oddness was hidden.
Lou looked down at her boots. "You've been wearing those?"
"They're comfortable!" Evans insisted. She shook her head slightly, smiling.
"That's fair," Tuckerman nodded. "Truth be told, I find myself being more comfortable in my cruiser garb than anything else as well."
She gripped the steering wheel tighter. "... That's what worries me."
"Still getting used to being St Louis?" Tally asked.
"No; I'm trying not to get used to this," was the serious reply. "You can probably see this, but I… I've not been myself these days."
"That's kind of why I'm checking in on you now," the redhead said. "I'm worried about you."
Louise sighed. "... Thanks."
"What am I not seeing here?" Tally asked. "I went first, and everything turned out fine, great even! But you're…" she trailed off, unsure of how to word her thoughts.
"I'm broken," the brunette helped finish that sentence before taking a few seconds to collect her own thoughts. "St Louis is not a good person; she's so angry, spiteful, hateful. I remember everything she remembers, I feel every single bad thing she felt, far more accurately than I'm okay with. Pearl Harbor, the war, Helena's sinking, being mothballed and given to Brazil, I remember her entire life, and the bad things just grate into me. Everything that came up and whacked her in the face, it broke her. Corrupted her. Warped her. That's not me. I'm not a terrible person and I don't want to be in perpetual pain. I refuse to be that. But… she's been creeping into me, and every time she does take over, I don't even know until it's over…"
A few tears rolled down Lou's cheeks. "I really don't know what to do…"
Tally paled as the younger girl spoke. "I… Shit. I don't have a tank metaphor for this. Pull over here."
Nodding, Lou stopped the Caterham at the shoulder of the road.
Tally hopped out of the car and circled around it to Lou's side. And then, leaning over the door, she pulled the younger girl into a tight hug. "Just keep being yourself. Be that stubborn, pain in the ass tank commander who doesn't know when to stop, always finds a new way to confront problems, and won't ever let up. St Louis can't change you if you don't let her."
"Now wait a minute, 'pain in the ass', 'doesn't know when to stop'...?"
"We have been arguing the point pretty much since the day we met, with neither of us budging an inch," Tally deadpanned. "I think that qualifies for both of those statements."
"That's… fair, I guess," Lou chuckled. "Yeah, I'll not let St Louis take a hold on me. I'm the one in charge here, after all."
"You are the one and only Louise C. Tuckerman, and nobody can ever change that."
"Yeah!" Louise grinned.
"You can beat St Louis. You've got this," Tally said gently. She squeezed Louise one last time before releasing the hug. "I believe in you."
In response, Lou gave her friend a wide, confident grin. "I will. Thanks."
"If you ever need something from me, all you need to do is ask."
"I'll be sure to take you up on that offer then!"
Tally returned Louise's grin, and gently patted her head, ruffling the brunette's hair.
"Heheh…"
"We should probably get heading back. It's late, and I should have been in bed 2 hours ago," Tally suggested, suppressing a yawn.
"Yeah, I'll drive you back," Lou offered. "I can park near my dorm and bring the car back in the morning."
"Thanks, Lou!" Tally grinned.
"No prob!"
And with that, the redhead hopped back in, and the Super Seven drove ahead into the night.