Chapter Six
Healing Hands….
She didn't know what was wrong with her, struggling greatly lately. Now week three, since Inuyasha had said a word to her, her thoughts and emotions were running her ragged.
Waking up alone in his bed was painful on its own. Since Kagome not only fell asleep in his bed but did so after vigorous lovemaking, a part of her had expected Inuyasha to be next to her when she woke. A larger part than she wanted to admit. But it was late morning when Kagome woke; Inuyasha had many things to attend to, of course. It wasn't because she fell asleep while he wanted to continue, unsatisfied and angry with her.
Time passed, and she didn't see him day or night. It was just as it had been before he left after they had sex their wedding night, so why did her mind and heart seem to expect something different?
Two weeks and Sango finally got back to normal instead of bowing her head in shame every time she was around her. Kagome's morose attitude was hard to hide, and everyone was noticing it. So she did the best she could to hide it, which was made easier to do with the distraction she had.
Not everyone in this town healed as quickly as Lord Tashio, so Kagome found purpose at the temple, helping those injured to heal. By week three, only those that had been gravely wounded remained, and they would be ready to go home soon. Kagome's distraction was dwindling, and she couldn't be upset about it. But, unfortunately, it still did nothing to help her at night, tossing and turning until she wore herself out.
Now, she was saying goodbye to the last patient. "I hate to leave all you lovely ladies."
The others who came to help giggled while she pointed her finger at Genzo. "You're lucky to be alive! You should be happy to go home!"
He cowered and smirked, letting his brother wrap his arm around his shoulders to take him home. "Yes! You're right, Lady Tashio. I'm lucky. Lucky to have care from talented people like yourself."
Kagome walked them out, Sango standing next to the door waiting for them. "Thank you for your sacrifice, Genzo."
Sango gave the man a small bow, and he smirked. "If I'd known getting injured and nearly killed got me so much attention from so many beautiful ladies, I would have done it long ago! I'd have me a wife by now."
Pointing again, this time at the door, Kagome tried not to laugh and seem angry. "Out!"
The others left as well, shooing them the rest of the way out the door. With no more to tend to, there was no need for them or Kagome anymore. "I suppose now you'll need to find something else to fill your time?"
Even Sango had noticed the lack of attention Kagome was receiving from her husband. Maybe he had taken up another mistress? She tried and failed to let thoughts like that bother her. If her husband took up a mistress, then it was less work for her. Then she wouldn't have to worry about satisfying him. Not that she did anyway.
Winter was over, but it wasn't quite Spring yet, the air still cold as she stepped out into the golden light of the early evening. Kagome had only taken a few steps when someone grabbed her hand from behind. Hiding just outside the threshold, Kagome turned to fight the stranger touching her when she found her husband at the other end of the hand that held her.
Inuyasha grinned at her confusion and anger, threading his fingers with hers as if everything was fine. Sango had drawn her knife when Kagome went tense and even squeaked when suddenly grabbed. Once it was sure by all who it was that held her, though, all tension fled. Kagome was the only one rigid with rage.
"I got it from here, Sango."
Glaring at her lord, Sango let her indignation show as well. At least someone was on Kagome's side. "As you wish, Lord Tashio."
Inuyasha caught the animosity in Sango's tone but said nothing as she walked away. "What's her problem?" He was asking her, but she didn't feel like talking to him. Now or ever. "And what's wrong with you?"
Kagome tugged for the release of her captive appendage, but Inuyasha tugged back, pulling her roughly into his hold. Soon, he had her on the dark side of the Temple where not a single eye could see them.
Her hand was free, but the rest of Kagome wasn't, Inuyasha wrapping an arm around both of hers and holding her against him tightly. "What's wrong, Kagome? Did I do something to upset you?"
Speaking with an affectionate tone and stroking her cheek, Kagome nearly forgave and forgot all so Inuyasha would continue to show her such love. But that was what got her into trouble before. "Nothing. Nothing is upsetting me except being held against my will!"
She was released in an instant and tried to walk away. But that would be too easy as Kagome was grabbed again and held against Inuyasha. "If I let you go, you're just going to leave me."
"Exactly!"
"I told you. Tell me when I do something to upset you, so I always please you. So tell me, what did I do?"
Inuyasha gave Kagome her freedom again when she fought against his hold. But she didn't leave him either, digging her finger into his hard chest. "You left me! Three weeks! I woke up in your bed alone and haven't seen or heard from you in THREE WEEKS! How would you feel if I just left you alone for that long?!"
Inadvertently, she had awoken a slumbering bear, Inuyasha's eyes getting dark and a growl coming from his chest. Kagome's back hit the wall of the Temple, and the angry monster towered over her, casting her in his shadow. "You will never leave me!"
It took Kagome a moment to regain herself, shaking the fear out of her head and forcing past what was in her throat. "I should! I should so you know how it feels!"
Inuyasha's hands slammed into the wall over Kagome's head, and she jumped from it only to have his mouth slam to hers right after. What started as hard and forceful quickly turned to soft and affectionate. He released one hand from the wall to cup her cheek and pull her deeper into the embrace, her tongue leaving her mouth to brush his lips. He groaned from it, pressing himself against her and the wall. If it weren't for her struggle to breathe, she would have let it go on for far longer, but she needed air, pushing him off her gently.
"I'm sorry. I had a lot to deal with after returning alive. They had already declared me dead, you know? And you've been busy as well." Inuyasha's face dropped, as did her heart. "I know...I know you had other plans for yourself other than marrying me. I won't pretend that you don't deserve more than the life I've given you."
Letting him wallow for a few moments, he did leave her waiting for three weeks; Kagome picked Inuyasha's face up with her hands. "A life is a life, and I'm happy to live whatever is given to me. Even though this isn't what I expected for myself, not by a long shot, it's a grand life indeed."
Inuyasha looked like he was struggling, like there was something stuck in his throat, choking him.
"Are you alright?"
But then he twisted away from her quickly. "It's nothing." Grabbing her hand again, Kagome found her fingers mingled with his. "Come with me."
She was wary, not sure where he was taking her. Afraid Inuyasha was going to take Kagome to bed only to leave her again, she halted when they entered the familiar halls of the villa. "I...I'm afraid I'm...I'm not up for...sex right now…."
There was no way Kagome could look at Inuyasha while she said these things, and she could feel his stare burning her. Maybe it was wrong of her to turn him away; Kagome had responsibilities to him after all. He was playing with the thick braid over her shoulder, and she still looked to the floor. "I just wanted to spend some time with my Wife."
Whether it was on purpose or not, she still pulled away roughly when the back of his hand grazed her breast. "Well...I do not want to spend time with you! Since you believe time with me should be spent with me on my back!"
He took a step, taking back the space she put between them. "You seemed to enjoy it last time?"
"I...I did! Until I woke up alone! And didn't hear from you for weeks! Is that all I'm good for to you? For you to have your way with me until you're tired? Does it take you three weeks to recover? Or have you acquired a new mistress, and she's somewhere in your…."
His fingers pressed to her mouth, silencing her. Kagome remained silent when Inuyasha's heavy breaths made her fringe dance on her forehead. Several moments passed, the two of them standing close but not touching as they both calmed back down.
"I didn't come for you to take you to bed."
His eyes on hers, Inuyasha saw Kagome's eyes go wide and reacted with offense. "You didn't?"
"No." Her face and body burned, swiftly looking at the floor again. She stared at their feet together, taking in the difference in size when he held his hand out to Kagome. "Come with me?"
Giving her a choice, she took his hand and decided to go with him. She was not saying another word on the subject again if she was lucky. But once Kagome's hand was in his, fingers threaded yet again, Inuyasha didn't move. She found the strength in her curiosity to look up at him again.
"Thank you. For telling me what I've done wrong. And to make sure I don't upset you again, I won't come to you; you will come to me."
"I don't understand?"
His free hand was on her jaw, running his fingers across it with a smirk on his face. "When you can no longer stand it and want me so bad you think you'll go mad; you'll be the one to come to me and use me until you're satisfied. Not me."
She swallowed thickly because she already felt the heat building in her and making her ache a little. It had already been three weeks, and the last time Inuyasha made love to her had been so incredible; Kagome had been thinking about it every night non-stop. She was sure she could never be that bold, though, and Inuyasha wanted it to be like a competition. Who would cave first? There was little doubt in her mind; it would be him, so she began shaking the hand that held hers.
"Fine. I'll come to you."
oOo
Kagome was softly snoring next to him, naked and warm. He had fallen asleep sometime after her when she passed out on him. So all he could do was cover her with his sheets. That didn't explain why they were wrapped up together when he woke, Kagome's face pressed against Inuyasha's chest and his arms around her. It was more than her just rolling to him in the night; he had welcomed her into his hold. All while blissfully unaware. It made it all that much harder for him to slip out of bed and keep her ignorant.
Dressed, he glanced back. Kagome took up the majority of the bed now, on her belly, and snoring. He chuckled, the smile on his face and the swelling in his chest hurting from watching her. Forcing his feet to move, Inuyasha made it out his door only to lean against the wall near it. He had to catch his breath, overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings to the point of madness.
He cared for Kagome; ever since he first saw her, he was drawn to her. But now, it was far worse.
Kagome was flawless, an absolute beauty. No one disliked her; her beautiful and smiling face brought people into her, and her kind and endearing demeanor had them bowing at her feet. Never had Inuyasha met a woman like her, so god damn beautiful, and she didn't even know it, didn't use it against people even a little bit.
Kagome was dear to him before, but when he saw her press that tiny arrow to his enemy's neck to save him? Something had changed then, and he felt even less in control than he ever had before. It had him hurrying to his advisor, looking everywhere for Miroku. Instead, all he found was Myouga.
"Something vexes you, my Lord?"
Myouga knew better than to be confused or shocked to see Inuyasha up and about without a struggle or sign of injury. So that saved time as he huffed into a chair. Leaning on his knees, Inuyasha twisted his fingers together in an agitated manner, and Myouga just laughed.
"All right, who is it?"
Glancing up, he watched as Myouga took the seat across from him. "Who is who?"
"The woman? The one that has you all jittery? I know when a man is suffering from a woman when I see it."
He was still a bit confused, staring intently at Myouga. "It's Kagome, my wife, of course! Who else would it be?"
The smile on Myouga's face dropped. "My Lord, it is not good for you to fall in love with your wife."
"What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Why the hell would it be a bad thing?!"
Frowning, Myouga looked just like a scolding mother. "Think about it. All know she is your wife. What if Kagome were taken and held for ransom? If you feel anything more than obligation towards your wife, you might be inclined to give whatever was asked for her safe return."
"I would do that regardless…."
"Even if they asked for your title?"
Inuyasha stilled, but his mind did not, running as fast as lightning over Myouga's words. Already, Inuyasha knew that he would; he would give anything up for Kagome. But was that really what a leader should do? Should feel for anyone? For the first time in his life, he had someone that was his. Undeniably and permanently. That was something he couldn't change even if he wanted to. And it was what drew him to Kagome in the first place while her beauty, inside and out, had Inuyasha's heart in the palm of her hands. How was he supposed to fix this?
"How does one stop falling in love?"
Myouga was still frowning, not liking that his Lord openly admitted to feeling love for his wife. "You keep away from her as much as you can."
oOo
Two weeks and he had kept his distance. At least, Kagome thought he had, but Inuyasha just couldn't stop himself.
Following your Wife around when you had time wasn't wrong. It was his business what she did; Kagome belonged to him. So there was nothing wrong with him watching her as she went to the Temple every day, all day, and helped all those who needed it.
Kagome would have made a great Priestess. That ate at Inuyasha the more he watched her. Seeing as Kagome gently assuring a family their injured child would make a full recovery, washed puss-covered wounds like they were nothing, held the hand of a swollen and dirty, injured man without fear or disgust. There was nothing thrown her way that Kagome didn't handle with a bright smile on her face. Here, she was truly happy, and it was something Inuyasha had deprived her of.
Guess that's the problem with falling in love. Once it happens, there's nothing one can do to stop it. All that can be done is to stay away from it. Even though every inch of Inuyasha ached, he kept his distance just as Myouga suggested.
Another day, Kagome was free, and Inuyasha was sure this would be what killed him. He heard her giggling today. She passed by him, on another hall from him, and he hid, and she giggled at something Sango said to her. It made his heart race, especially when Inuyasha realized it was different from when Kagome giggled around him. Like she had a particular giggle just for him.
It took all Inuyasha's strength not to go after Kagome and drag her away to do as he pleased with her. But that would fix nothing. It would only make things worse. There was no cure for what he had.
Flopping to his bed, he mourned the smell of it because it no longer smelled of his Wife. He was contemplating drinking some sake to help him sleep when Inuyasha's door flew open. He barely got himself into a better position when Miroku stormed in.
"You've been ignoring Kagome?!"
His advisor, who was by his side every day, didn't know when he left to visit Kagome that Inuyasha had been doing it in secret. "I have to."
"Why?!"
"Why are you so upset? It's not your business is it?!"
"It is when it's clearly affecting you. Kami, I thought you were ill, moping around as you have!"
Sitting up, he glared back at the monk. "I haven't been moping…."
"Explain it to me? What idiotic notion do you have now to rationalize this kind of neglect?!"
"Neglect?! I needed some space, that's all! And it's not like Kagome's come running to me either. My absences as gone completely unnoticed…."
"That's because your Wife is much better at hiding it than you are!" Miroku screamed. "To what end do you need space from someone like Kagome?" Inuyasha refused to look at the man because he was irritating the fuck out of him and he didn't much like Miroku's tone. "Oh...I see. You're in love with her."
What the hell? Did Inuyasha have it written somewhere? "What do you know of it?!"
"It's clear now. What's not clear is why you are running away like a scared little boy?"
Getting to his feet, Inuyasha growled at the man, but Miroku didn't shrink in the slightest. "I am Lord Tashio. I cannot fall in love."
"Uh, yes, you can. You're a man, aren't you? Human as far as we know?"
"Well, I don't want it. It's a weakness, and I can't afford it!" Falling back to his bed, Inuyasha suddenly felt so tired. "Myouga was right, but I should have started this long ago."
"You listened to Myouga on love advice? You know the man has death threats made upon him by women? He can never go back to his hometown."
"Myouga asked me what I would do if Kagome were taken. What I would be willing to give up. And I realized then that I would give up everything for her."
Inuyasha felt the bed shift from Miroku sitting next to him. "So? That's if she gets taken. And we all know she can take care of herself. Sango is with her as well. I truly feel you have little fear anything would happen to her. Except maybe dying of heartbreak from the terrible treatment her husband is giving her!"
Sitting up quickly, he looked at Miroku and had genuine concern written on his face. "Is she distraught?"
"Sango says she doesn't sleep."
Groaning, Inuyasha dropped his face into his hands. "I've fucked up, haven't I?"
"Yes," Miroku said honestly, patting his back, "but Kagome will forgive you...eventually."
oOo
Her last patient was leaving today, so he would be keeping her from nothing if he went to her today. Watching her care so dearly for people that weren't even hers only made his heart ache more. Why he thought Inuyasha could just run away, stop loving her, he didn't know. But there was no stopping it or ending it. And it was fierce, raging inside him wildly at first glance. Now it roared as Inuyasha watched her help the remaining man out the door.
When Kagome passed him, Inuyasha's heart reached out for her, making him grab her hand like a lifeline. It sent a rush through him just touching her. Her soft skin was warm even in the chilly afternoon sun. The fight Kagome had died as soon as she saw it was him that grabbed her. She took Inuyasha's words seriously about no one else touching her. That only made him crow internally.
Kagome's frown was expected, but it didn't mean Inuyasha liked it. Nor the one on Sango's face and how she hesitated to leave them alone. He knew he had fucked up but did they have to rub it in his face like this? Finally, Sango left, and they were alone. His opportunity to fix his stupidity was at hand, and all he could do was look at her beautiful eyes.
"What's wrong, Kagome? Did I do something to upset you?"
He already knew, but Inuyasha wanted Kagome to tell him she missed him. He had missed her, stroking her skin wherever he could in such a public place. "Nothing. Nothing is upsetting me except being held against my will!"
Her tugging at his hold was only causing his heart to beat painfully. Instead of letting Kagome go, he pulled her deeper into his clutches, revealing in her body pressed against his as long as he could. Now in the dark privacy of the Temple's shade, he loosened his hold a little. "If I let you go, you're just going to leave me."
"Exactly!"
"I told you. Tell me when I do something to upset you, so I always please you. So tell me, what did I do?"
Releasing her when she still didn't settle down, Inuyasha was shocked when she came back at him, pressing a stiff finger into his chest. "You left me! Three weeks! I woke up in your bed alone and haven't seen or heard from you in THREE WEEKS! How would you feel if I just left you alone for that long?!"
Anger and fear blended with Kagome talking about leaving. Pushing him into an uncontrollable state of being. "You will never leave me!"
He was scaring her. Inuyasha's possessiveness had Kagome frightened of him for the first time, but he couldn't stop. "I should! I should so you know how it feels!"
Especially when she said things like that, he wanted to grab her. Cage her in against the wall and fuck her until she takes back her words. But this was Kagome, the woman he cared more for than anything in this world, and all he wanted was to hold her forever. Scaring her like that, taking her so forcefully, it would break whatever small tie she had to him.
Instead, he forced his body to listen to him. Inuyasha slammed his hands into the wall just above her head instead of grabbing her up in his hold. And he crashed his mouth to Kagome's (instead of his cock), unable to stop himself from ravishing her mouth and tasting her deeply. He surprised himself when he was able to stop, pulling gently away from her and feeling a little calmer.
"I'm sorry. I had a lot to deal with after returning alive. They had already declared me dead, you know? And you've been busy as well." It was the truth; he did have a lot to keep him from her all this time. But Inuyasha did sneak off to see her anyway—which reminded him how busy and happy she had been without him. "I know...I know you had other plans for yourself other than marrying me. I won't pretend that you don't deserve more than the life I've given you."
He was selfish to do this, pout about the life he couldn't give her to the woman he took it from. Inuyasha needed some confirmation that Kagome didn't regret marrying him or desired to leave him for the life she wanted instead of being stuck with him. It would get him by for a while, he hoped.
When Kagome lifted his face to look at her, green swirling in her blue eyes and making it hard for him to breathe, Inuyasha thought for sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest and into her palms where it belonged. "A life is a life, and I'm happy to live whatever is given to me. Even though this isn't what I expected for myself, not by a long shot, it's a grand life indeed."
He wanted to say it. Tell Kagome he loved her. But he would tell Kagome all. How he loved her more than anything and that he couldn't live without her. That she owned him just as he owned her. And he was trying really hard not to scare her. If he scared her away, then he would die; he was sure of it.
"Are you alright?"
Kagome caught onto Inuyasha's struggle, and he turned away to hide it. "It's nothing. Come with me."
Her hesitancy wasn't missed on him, but Inuyasha kept pulling Kagome along to take her where he wanted her to be. Until she pulled against his hold, coming to a stop. "I...I'm afraid I'm...I'm not up for...sex right now…."
He had thought about it; Inuyasha would be lying to himself and her if he said otherwise. He just had to stop himself from fucking her in an alley! But he wasn't taking her somewhere to make love, not right now. "I just wanted to spend some time with my Wife."
"Well...I do not want to spend time with you! Since you believe time with me should be spent with me on my back!"
Kagome had misunderstood him but had also given Inuyasha a view of how she saw him. So that's how he looked to her? A man only interested in sleeping with her? She was pushing him right now, so he had to push back or lose control. "You seemed to enjoy it last time?"
"I...I did! Until I woke up alone! And didn't hear from you for weeks! Is that all I'm good for to you? For you to have your way with me until you're tired? Does it take you three weeks to recover? Or have you acquired a new mistress, and she's somewhere in your…."
Inuyasha had to stop her because his raging heart was threatening to retake control. It was screaming at him to take Kagome and show her he hadn't been with another. That he couldn't even stand the idea of being with another woman with her around, coupled with his pain, hurting from how she saw him -an adulterous monster- and he needed a few moments to collect himself.
"I didn't come for you to take you to bed."
"You didn't?"
"No." Inuyasha was wholly offended while Kagome was embarrassed. Now more than ever, he wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted to teach her who he was and who she was to him. "Come with me?"
When Kagome took his hand again, entirely of her own free will, it hit him just what he needed to do to prove himself to her. Inuyasha's stillness got Kagome's bright eyes on his again.
"Thank you. For telling me what I've done wrong. And to make sure I don't upset you again, I won't come to you; you will come to me."
"I don't understand?"
Kagome's confusion was so charming; Inuyasha struggled not to kiss her again. Instead, he ran his fingers along her jaw and watched her shiver from his touch. "When you can no longer stand it and want me so bad you think you'll go mad; you'll be the one to come to me and use me until you're satisfied. Not me."
The dance Kagome's little -almost invisible- apple did told Inuyasha she got it. And the twitch of her hips told him she would come to him—soon. Inuyasha just had to be patient and wait. It had already been three weeks, and he was craving Kagome like no one before. But this was more important than his other needs. Because Inuyasha needed Kagome to see what she did to him, how he felt about her, and show him that she thought the same.
"Fine. I'll come to you."