Chapter Four

"In this world, it is too common for people to search for someone to lose themselves in. But I am already lost. I will look for someone to find myself in."

― C. JoyBell C.

After spending the whole day writing out fortunes, Kagome was glad to be at the part of the evening where she handed them out. The looks on people's faces as they read them were always her favorite part of New Years'.

The shrine was filled with people. It may not be the most popular of shrines but it still had a large draw of regulars. And a few new faces. Souta was at the hospital with their mother so it was just her and gramps this year. It was hard to enjoy the holiday with half her family missing, but Kagome did her best not to show it on her face.

The sound of the bamboo sticks rolling around in their box blocked out the sounds of voices. Kagome looked up from the girl currently shaking it for her omikuji to be taken aback by golden eyes on hers. They darted down, but she had seen them and was sure. It was why she hastily gave the girl her fortune and chased after Inuyasha.

Head down and hands in his pockets, he tried to escape. His long white hair stood out on his red hoodie and in the crowd. It was easy to follow behind him even as he blitzed through the people, bouncing others off his shoulders with his rush. It cleared the path for her to chase him, grabbing the hood of his jacket and pulling him to a stop.

"What are you doing here?"

He kept his back to her as he spoke. "It's a public shrine, ain't it?"

"Yeah, but… there are hundreds of shrines between here and your house…"

"I wanted to come to this one!" He growled back at her.

She let go of his hood, reasonably sure he wasn't going anywhere. Then stepped around to look at his face. He watched her, his eyes glued to her as soon as she came into his view. It made her heart jump around again, but she ignored it this time. "Given how we left things yesterday… this is the last place I expected to see you."

His hands went up, tugging on his hat as if it had gotten loose. It hadn't moved. "I uh… I spoke with Miroku. I overreacted yesterday. I'm sorry."

Kagome found herself putting a hand on him, touching his bicep as if he would disappear. "You don't have to tell me anything, but if it's something I did or said that upset you, I'd like to know, so I don't do it again."

With a heavy sigh, Inuyasha put his hands on her shoulders. She could feel the thick and scratchy material of his gloves through her haori and robes. The metal caps were cold from the winter air. "You didn't do shit. Okay? Don't worry about me and just be yourself. Don't ever change."

His eyes bored into hers, and a smile grew in place of her frown. Then, without asking, she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him with her. Because that's what she would do as 'herself'. "You haven't gotten your omikuji yet!"

"Feh! I don't need one. I don't believe in that shit."

The people around them gasped and stepped back, so they didn't get hit by the lightning that was about to strike the dumb man. She tugged on him hard, so he was standing right next to her. "Believe what you want but don't say stuff like that on the shrine grounds!"

Kagome's hand slipped from Inuyasha's sleeve to his hand, gripping the middle of it with her thumb at his palm. She only let go to hand him the box of bamboo sticks. When he just held it dumbly, she took it back and shook out a number for him. Then grabbed his fortune for him.

"This is a good look for you, by the way." He said, gesturing to her robes as he did.

"Shut up…"

"I'm being serious!"

Kagome rolled her eyes even as her cheeks got hot. Her beautiful boss told her he liked her in priestess robes; how was she supposed to take that? "I suppose compared to the usual grime that you see me in; I do look nice."

"That's uh… that's not what I meant." Inuyasha had his eyes to the ground, looking at her feet.

She was in desperate need of a change in conversation, so she took his omikuji from him and read it. "Would you like your 'general' fortune first?" He gave a half-hearted nod, and she continued. "半凶 han-kyou… half-curse? That's weird…."

She didn't remember writing any fortunes like that. Her gramps must have written it. Kagome turned to find him, but Inuyasha grabbed her arm with the omikuji and took it from her before she could move an inch. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He was looking anywhere but at her but with a nasty scowl on his face. "Do you want me to read the rest of it? You can pull another one if you want…."

He glanced at it then shoved it into his pocket. "I can manage. I'm sure you have better things to do?"

Not really; the fortunes were almost over now. Everyone that wanted one had come and gone already. Leaving Kagome with her sheltered boss cringing at the many people around him. "You don't get out much, do you?"

"I like to avoid it when I can." He grumbled.

"Then… why are you out tonight? One of the busiest nights of the year…."

"I had to…" he started, daring to look up at her with his halcyon eyes, "make sure we were okay? And that you'd be back tomorrow?"

She understood his worry. Kagome had walked out and not come back before. But that was extenuating circumstances; she was chased out that time. "You don't need to worry about that. I won't be leaving you again… Sir."

Kagome felt the need to add a 'Sir' at the end, so her statement seemed more… formal. Without it, it almost sounded like a love confession, which was silly. So silly….

"Alright then," Inuyasha said while clearing his throat, "as long as we're okay…."

"More than okay!" She needed to stop talking. "Um… you should tie that fortune to the tree." She pointed and looked, finding a large tree surrounded by a temporary fence just for people to tie the 'bad' fortunes to. "That's the goshinboku; it protects this shrine and its patrons. It will take your bad fortune away for you."

Inuyasha pulled the strip of paper out of his pocket and looked at it again. "I don't think a tree can take this away…."

"Then give it to me." He looked back at her, wide-eyed and flustered for some reason. "I'm a Miko; I'll take responsibility for your 'curse' and make it go away."

She was holding out a hand expectantly, and Inuyasha stared at it for several seconds. Finally, his eyes flicked back up to hers, and her heart skipped. At the same time, a smirk grew on his face, but he pulled the paper back. "I can't ask that. It's mine to deal with, not you."

"But I…"

"Thank you, Kagome. You're a nice person."

It was a strange thing to say, and she wasn't so sure he meant it as a compliment. "Ummm… thank you?"

He chuckled as if uncomfortable and stepped back. "I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

She watched him leave; his red hoodie and ball cap stood out to her eyes the whole way to the shrine steps. The strange beating her heart did had her weary of tomorrow. And the new year.

oOo

This was not going to be a good year.

Besides her 'boss' telling her she was a good person, Kagome's mom went from bad to worse. It was starting to look like this would be the year they buried their mother. But she couldn't think about that, not with what she was facing currently.

A ransacked apartment.

They had broken the lock on her door and taken everything of worth. At least her laptop was with her, but her small jewelry collection was strewn out all over the floor. They had taken the real stuff and broken the fake. Kagome didn't even need to look to know that the pearls -that once belonged to her grandmother- were gone.

What wasn't 'stealable' was destroyed. They had even sliced Kagome's couch cushions and her mattress. She picked up the quilt her mother made her (back when she was more stable), as many clothes as she could fit into her large duffle (which was most of what she had, thankfully), and her remaining books before walking out to never look back.

Kagome hadn't had time to go to the hospital first before work (taking too long to survey the damage of her wasted apartment), which meant bringing her few remaining items with her to 684 Concord. Before the New Year, she could have gotten away with it. Inuyasha would have stayed up in his room or wherever the entire time she was there and never noticed her mood or the pile of belongings by the door.

However, as happy as it made her, Inuyasha was always visible while she was there now. Whether it was dinner together, greeting her at the door, making food requests, or standing around to watch her work (most times stepping in to help), Inuyasha was aware of her comings and goings now. More than Miroku, who still came on Tuesdays of all days. Miroku could be there on the weekends, she supposed; Kagome was never there then.

All of this was nice, except for today when Inuyasha found her working outside on the windows. With the weather pleasant and her feeling suffocated by life in general, Kagome couldn't stand being inside today. At least being up on a ladder put some distance between them when he asked the inevitable question of the day.

"Why is all your shit on the floor by the front door?!"

She groaned. "It's temporary, I promise. I'll be taking it all with me when I leave today."

"That's not why I was asking, Kagome. What happened to your place?!"

Inuyasha already knew about her problems, but should she really tell him this? Was it any of his business? Kagome felt she could trust him without a doubt, but that didn't mean she should give him her burdens. He was her boss, nothing more. "A, uh… a pipe burst in my apartment…."

"Funny. Your stuff is completely dry and smells like detergent instead of dirty pipe water."

Kagome glared down at him from her perch on top of the ladder. "You smelled my clothes?"

Inuyasha shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. She hated how sexy he looked. "I didn't have to get close to notice the difference." He glared back at her. "So, what really happened?" She opened her mouth, but he stopped her. "I hate liars, by the way. And I always know when a person is lying. Especially one as bad as you."

"Fine," she said, pissed and done with this 'conversation', "then I'll just tell you it's none of your business!"

"Oh yeah?! Then I'll tell you to spill it, or you're fired!"

She turned so fast back to him she nearly knocked herself off the ladder. "You can't do that!" The frown he wore cracked a little, but it was just that it had been a horrible day, causing Kagome to start rambling. "You can't! I… I need this job, please!"

"Alright, alright! I won't fire you! Calm down!"

Now close to tears, Kagome decided it was probably best she wasn't on a ladder. Too bad she didn't think of that before her vision blurred and her chest tightened. It distracted her and made her miss a step. It oddly felt as if she was falling in slow motion. That would explain how Inuyasha moved so fast. He hadn't been that far from her and the ladder, but she still expected to hit the ground instead of falling into his waiting arms. Instead, Inuyasha grabbed her so tight; it was as if he thought she would jump right out of them. But being held by him was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Because now she was sobbing uncontrollably.

It was so bad she didn't even know when she had stopped being outside; Inuyasha had carried them inside at some point. The couch she had cleaned weeks ago was gone. It had been replaced with a new one that was soft and fresh. So much that Kagome hadn't so much as touched it since it appeared; worried she would ruin it. Now, plopped onto it, Inuyasha was sitting next to Kagome with an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. She took it greedily, leaning into him and worrying about the shame she would feel later. Kagome didn't have room for any more emotions or feelings right now, too consumed with her grief and stress.

"You don't have to tell me," Inuyasha whispered when Kagome calmed to hiccups, "but you should. I could… I would help you, Kagome. With anything."

She shook her head against his shoulder, making her hair all the more a mess. It matched her face. "It's my problem..sss. I can't ask anyone to help me with them…."

"Goddammit, Kagome, sometimes you need help! There's nothing wrong with that!" She had lost her 'pillow'; Inuyasha pulled away so he could look at her while he scolded. "Just… tell me one thing. One problem that I can help you with? Give me that much?"

"I could tell you all of them, but there's nothing you can do. My mother is dying, my family is sinking in debt, my father is… nowhere to help, and now I have no place to live."

"You can live here."

She blinked, waiting for this to be a dream or something. But Inuyasha's face stayed solemn and determined. "I can't…."

"Why not? You're here most of the time anyway! And this place is close to your school and the hospital…."

"Wow. You really followed me around, didn't you?"

The flush on Inuyasha's cheeks was adorable, and she soaked it in before he turned away from her to hide it. "Think about it. I wouldn't… charge you rent or anything."

"Then it's a 'no'. I can't live here for free, that's too much, and I won't take advantage of your kindness like that." Kagome said, getting to shaky feet. "I'll be fine. Thank you, Inuyasha."

He didn't press and the rest of the day was long but uneventful. Inuyasha forbade her from doing any more work on the ladder, so she spent the remainder of her workday in the kitchen, cooking. Even though it didn't work out, Kagome appreciated the heartfelt offer Inuyasha gave her. She was tempted to take it too; it would be more than convenient. But the proposal to live rent-free was a bit too much. It woke her up to the reality and just how desperate she must have looked to him. He already knew how pathetic she was; her embarrassment was now legendary.

She mumbled a few words to Inuyasha before she left, unable to look him in the eyes. He said nothing while she quickly gathered her stuff and left. The train was awkward with all her things in her arms. It felt like everyone was looking at her. At least, that was what she told herself to keep from feeling so uncomfortable while Kagome felt as if she was being watched.

What she should have done, instead, was look for familiar or eerie faces in the crowd.

But that wouldn't have helped Kagome, really, since the ones that blocked her path now were not on the train. One block from the hospital and she was faced with a wall of thugs. Why were there so many? She was just one little woman.

Knowing instantly what this was about, she set down her bags and squared up to them, hoping to look a little intimidating. "Look, assholes, I have no clue where my dad is. I've told you this again and again, but you don't seem to listen. Now, you've really pissed me off. Wrecking my apartment? Come on that is just RUDE!"

They didn't back up; they surrounded, circling her like the kill she was for them. "We get it; Daddy doesn't want to pay us. The boss figures that if we rough one of his kids up, he'll come running."

Kagome swallowed the bile in her throat and glared as best she could at the one threatening her. "He won't come."

"Let's find out? Now, who's it gonna be? You or the boy?"

Something came over her that she could only explain as maternal instincts, but Kagome slightly shifted her weight and punched the guy threatening her little brother right in the jaw. "I told you not to touch him!"

Kagome's fist was on fire; she probably broke something, so she made sure to flex her hand as much as she could so it didn't get stiff in a fist. The men only moved in closer. "Hey, hey, we got a live one!"

Hands were on Kagome, and she fought against them as much as she could. It was pointless, but she wasn't about to go down without a fight. Her foot caught one gut and a groin before she was thrown to the ground and 'sat' on.

The one on top of her leaned into her ear, and his breath smelled strongly of cigarettes. "I'm not into hurting little kids. But you're not a kid, are you, Baby?"

The air was suddenly filled with tension, and the feet she could see shuffled around as if afraid. "And here I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up?"

"Get off her." It sounded like Inuyasha but far more visceral.

One man fell to the ground and shook hard. Kagome got a good look; he had been there last time at Christmas. His eyes darted from Kagome to whoever it was behind her with such terror in his eyes; she felt a little sorry for him. He scrambled away while other bodies started to hit the ground around her. The weight on her disappeared, and she watched as a man flew in the air to land hard on the pavement a few feet away. Kagome didn't move; she was in shock. She thought for sure this was going to be it for her, yet the men that attacked were all bleeding instead of her.

Hands grabbed Kagome again, and she fought against them. But they only flipped her over. She swallowed a big gulp of air at the bright red eyes that greeted her but quickly relaxed when she realized it was -in fact- Inuyasha. "Can you stand?"

The tenderness in his voice didn't match the anger on his face. The shock of it all left Kagome speechless, so she nodded, and Inuyasha helped her to her feet. A few of her attackers got to their feet with her, now a good foot from them.

"This isn't over, monster. The boss wants his money, and he will get it." One yelled before dashing away. But, like she needed the reminder, they hadn't given up yet, and they never would.

"Are you alright?" She was still dazed, which was why Inuyasha was holding her chin in his fingers –again- and looking her face over closely. "Your cheek is bruised."

Kagome didn't pull away from his touch, noting that his skin was touching hers. "Your gloves…"

"Huh?"

"You're… you're not wearing your gloves." He frowned and dropped his hand, but not before she caught a good look at his fingers. "Your nails!"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Okay? You got enough to worry about…."

She ignored him and grabbed his hand, looking hard at the long claws on the tips of his fingers. "Whoa. These look deadly!"

"They are." And to prove it, he didn't rip away from her. He gently pulled her hand off his. "Just what the fuck is going on, Kagome?"

"You said I didn't have to tell you…."

"That was before!" He growled, pacing before her and ranting. "This is the second time I've had to save your ass from those guys. You said it's not your debt, but they seem to think it is? AND they were inside your place?! No, time for quiet understanding is over, and now you have to spill!"

"I…" she took a step back from him, but Inuyasha took one forward, "I need to get to my mom…." He sighed loudly and cursed under his breath. But then she grabbed his arm. "Come with me? I'll… explain inside. But I really need to relieve Gramps."

"You'll tell me everything?!"

"Yes."

Inuyasha said nothing else, picking up Kagome's things for her and following her inside.