Chapter Six

"But maybe you never really had someone, she thought now. Maybe, no matter how much you loved them, they could slip through your fingers like water, and there was nothing you could do about it."
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

Kagome was busy, taking her frustration out of the soft dirt next to the backside of the house. It had been over a month now, and she was no closer to seeing the top of Inuyasha's head. Whatever he hid under his hat and bandana was a complete mystery to her still.

Casually stretching and yawning while they sat on the couch together at night so she could accidentally knock his cap off? Foiled; Inuyasha moved out of the way of her arm the first few attempts and now wears a bandana when they watch movies at night together.

Asking to borrow his head covering when she's outside and hot? Yeah, Kagome wasn't sure why she thought that would work.

Even trying to knock the man over and thus causing his hat to fall off was impossible. No matter how or when Kagome tripped to fall on Inuyasha, he caught her. It was annoying… and attractive. But given her goal, it was mostly annoying.

So now, she took her trowel and stabbed the dark earth with it. Kagome was focusing on her job (as she should be), and with spring approaching, she needed to get plants in the ground. With several packets of seeds and a lot of bulbs, Kagome had her work cut out for her. At least it was a nice day; sun shining, birds chirping, and a pleasant warm breeze. Spring was here.

As it usually did when she did anything out of the ordinary (instead of sticking to cleaning the inside of the house), a shadow fell over Kagome. She looked up, but the sun blotted out his image. Kagome still knew it was Inuyasha and that he had his ratty baseball cap on. "What are you doing?"

She was pretty sure it was obvious; covered in dirt and a little sweat, Kagome wished he never saw her like this, but that ship had sailed long ago. "I'm planting flowers."

"Why?"

"Because they're nice? They promote wellness both mentally and physically? And they'll make the place look less abandoned."

"If you hate this place so much, then maybe you should find somewhere else to live?"

His tone was a mix of anger and sadness that Kagome really didn't get. It was also far from the first time Inuyasha said something like this. He wanted to be rid of her, didn't he? "I probably should. I've overstayed my welcome as it is."

Kagome was still focused on the dirt, unable to stand to look at him whenever he talked like this. "I just meant… you don't have to force yourself to be here. That's all."

"What choice do I have?"

Inuyasha had brought up her leaving many times, but this was the first time Kagome conceded to this idea. Usually, she fought back and fussed until he caved, begging her to stay and assuring her he didn't mean whatever harsh words he had said. She was sure it was all due to him feeling guilty. He was regretful about Kagome's situation and living with another woman instead of his girlfriend. Who he went to see every weekend now. Inuyasha's girlfriend had to be a wildcat too because he always came home exhausted.

Shaking her head free of the thoughts (ones that plagued her almost as much as the top of Inuyasha's head), Kagome dug a deep hole for the rose she wanted to plant. Inuyasha was silent as she reached for the bulb, thick branches sticking out of the bagged flower, ready for spring. She had five roses to plant; all brought to her by Miroku at her request. She didn't get why he thought it was so funny that she wanted to grow roses. Maybe it had something to do with the hostility hitting her back from her boss; she could feel his glare as she placed the plant.

It was distracting, and Kagome entirely blamed him for why she grabbed one of the branches instead of the wrapped roots. Then, a thick, strong thorn made it through her glove and pricked her finger. She wrenched back and flung off her glove in time to see the blood pool on top of her skin.

Inuyasha was so fast; Kagome couldn't even comprehend it. He must have leapt from the spot he stood as soon as she cursed in pain. His gloved hand wrapped around Kagome's naked one and sent his glare to her wound instead of the back of her head. Her mouth popped open with a squeak when Inuyasha put her injured finger in his mouth, cleaning the damaged finger without hesitation or asking for permission.

Kagome's finger in Inuyasha's mouth, his eyes on hers, and the two of them on their knees before one another, it was like the whole world stopped spinning again. Soon, she would float away to space with how light she felt. Or rather, how light-headed; her finger was in Inuyasha's mouth! He gently sucked on her injured digit before pulling it out; the pressure of his lips left her fingertip last but hitting her all the way to her thighs. She could feel Inuyasha's hands on her; both were on her hand and wrist, working his fingers across Kagome's skin like a massage. With her sight locked in his eyes, Kagome could only go by what she felt. And it felt like he was spreading her hand out to inspect the rest of it with his touch.

"You should be more careful." He whispered, and her eyes went to his mouth. "Just because it looks pretty doesn't mean it can't still hurt you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and a small smile spread on Inuyasha's lips. "Are you talking about yourself?"

"Keh! You think I'd call myself pretty?"

"Then what exactly are you…."

"You. I'm talking about you, Kagome."

"I would never hurt anyone."

Inuyasha raised one brow as he studied her. "I believe you. You wouldn't hurt someone that didn't deserve it. Not on purpose anyway."

It was a high expectation, never hurting anyone unintentionally. Even the best intentions can end in hurt feelings. Kagome couldn't defend herself; Inuyasha was right, and there was nothing she could say about it. Inuyasha still didn't let go of her hand, though, talking about her hurting him, and he held onto her tight like she would fly away in the breeze. She still felt like she might as the breeze turned into the wind.

Inuyasha wasn't the only one to not notice. It took Kagome a full minute to pull away from his face and realize his hat was gone. It was currently tumbling away across the yard. Her mouth opened in another squeak. Too late, Inuyasha twisted as he fell back, crawling to catch it. But it was out of reach.

"Shit!" He grumbled, stumbling to his feet.

While Kagome remained on her knees in consternation, he had… ears… on top of his head. She hadn't imagined that the night Inuyasha scared the shit out of her.

By the time Inuyasha had his hat shoved back onto his head, Kagome was on her feet and gliding up to him. He didn't even try to stop her as she ripped the hat back off. So what point was there in hiding it now? Kagome had seen all.

He cursed under his breath and grabbed the bridge of his nose tight. "If you want to move out, I'll hire you some protection."

"You have ears on top of your head…."

"I'll even help you with the rent so you can live somewhere nicer than this and close to your mom and school."

"Dog ears. White, triangle-shaped dog ears. On top of your head…."

"Kagome!" He grabbed her shoulders so fast it caused her to jump. But not lower the hand she had inching towards one of his fluffy ears to touch. "Are you listening to me?"

"Why do you have dog ears?"

He sighed and released her. Kagome went back to reach for his ears. He didn't stop her, cringing only slightly away at first when her fingertips brushed the sensitive fur at the base of his ear. Then, tracing upwards, she saw Inuyasha shiver from her touch. Finally, after she had thoroughly examined them, he stepped away, roughly tugging off his gloves and tossing them to the side. When he turned around, it was like he expected her to react somehow, seeing him in full like this for the first time. But, of course, she had already seen the claws, so the ears were still her main interest.

"Before I explain… you have to promise me that if you're scared, you'll be honest with me. I meant it when I said I'd help you live elsewhere." He went silent but continued to stare at her. "Well? Do you promise?"

The ears had her thoroughly distracted. "Oh uh, yeah, I promise."

She even made an 'X' across her heart with her finger. It made a smile flash on Inuyasha's face, but he quickly sobered. Deep in thought, Inuyasha looked around, and Kagome didn't know if he was looking for someone else to be listening or thinking of what to say… or both.

"You know… the movie we watched the other day? La Belle et la Bete?" She nodded slowly, unclear on where this was going. "Well… I'm the beast in that story."

oOo

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen. Inuyasha had his hat back on, but his gloves laid between them on the table. He had his arms crossed over his chest and an agitated disposition on his face. At the same time, Kagome was bubbling with the need to learn more.

"Explain."

"I just did."

She huffed at him and pointed a finger at his face. "You said, 'I'm the beast,' and that's it! That tells me nothing!"

"What more is there to say? You saw the monster in the film. I'm ten times worse than that guy."

"Okay, one, not true. That guy was a lusty rage monster that expected Belle to just love him out of survival or something. And two, that's a movie! A fairy tale!"

"You're right. It is a fairy tale. This," he gestured to himself hotly, "is just a nightmare."

Grabbing it out of the air, Kagome had Inuyasha's hand in hers, holding him still. "Just tell me… how it happened. How did you get dog ears on your head?"

He didn't pull away, and she considered that a step in the right direction—even if he refused to look at her while he spoke. "A long time ago… I asked my girlfriend to marry me." Kagome's heart fell into her belly and bounced back up into her chest, but she forced herself to pay attention. "When she said 'yes', I told her my darkest secret. I… was a… demon."

He looked up at her then. Maybe gauging if she believed him? Kagome was just confused. "A demon? Like from the Bible?"

"Bible, Quran, Tora, you name it, and if it's a religious text, it mentions demons. Me."

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with that information. On the one hand, it meant she had to believe that demons were real. On the other hand, growing up in a shrine, Gramps told her many stories about real demons, but she had never believed him. "Wow, I guess Gramps wasn't lying?"

Inuyasha chuckled (some of his tension falling away) and squeezed her hands while they wrapped around his. "The old man was telling you the truth, mostly. But I'm not a full demon anymore."

"Wait, what?"

He sighed and fell back to his chair, sliding his hand out of her hold carefully. "My girlfriend.. fiancé… uh Kikyo, didn't take it as well as you are now. So she decided to find a way to make me… human."

"Without even asking you?" She yelled, her anger billowing over instantly.

He nodded, and his apple bobbed again. "She found another demon that promised to make me human for her. But he was lying. A half-demon, Naraku, had always hated my family and me. So when he told Kikyo he would make me human for her, it was a lie. He twisted her and used her against me. And instead of making me human, he made me a half-demon like him."

"I don't understand," she murmured, but he heard her loud and clear, "how can he just make you half and half like that? Wouldn't your demon blood just consume any human blood that was put inside you?"

The grin he wore was sad, and it made Kagome's heartache. "Well, that's because I already had human DNA in me. My mother was human."

"Then how…"

"When I was born, my mother and father used a… relic or something, and it locked my human half away. My father told me that it was supposed to lock away whichever half was 'smaller'. So I'm more demon than human, but Naraku unlocked it."

Kagome nibbled on her lip, worried what her next question would sound like to him, but she had to know. "And that… gave you ears?"

"Ears and a loss of control. Remember that night you stayed late? The red eyes weren't your imagination. Some nights are better than others, but part of the 'curse' of a half-demon is having weak nights. All my nights seem to be weak as I struggle to control the demon. Working out helps. And Sango helps me a lot."

Kagome cringed at that. That was why he was going to see her every weekend? To help control his demon half? "Is that why you've been in control since I moved in? Sango she… helps you calm the demon?"

Maybe she didn't want to know this. But, it was too late cause Inuyasha was already answering her. "I'm not sure. I haven't felt like I needed to see her since you moved in. Actually, since the night I chased you away. When you came back I… I haven't struggled as much as I used to."

She wasn't sure what to feel about that; it made her heart race. Inuyasha didn't look as if he knew how to feel about it either. But it was nice to see the slight flush break out on his cheeks. It had her looking for something to change the subject; comparing herself to a woman she'd never met was difficult at best.

"Wait… you said you were the Beast in the story? Doesn't that mean there's a way to 'fix' this? A way to return you to a full demon if that's what you want?"

"Ah… about that… see, Naraku is a twisted son of a bitch, but you're right, he did make it where I could return to my original form. Too bad it required Kikyo to accept me fully as the creature she turned me into and as the demon I once was. If you thought she had problems with me being a demon…."

With that, Kagome jumped to her feet. The chair she sat in smacked the floor hard, but her anger had her yelling over the noise. "You mean even after she created the problem, she couldn't accept you? It was all her fault!"

He held up his hands and tried to calm her down with his face and words. "I agree with you, but there's nothing that can be done about it now!"

"What do you mean there's nothing that can be done!"

"Kikyo is… dead." With her chair still on the floor, Kagome sat on the edge of the table instead, waiting for him to explain. "She couldn't live with what she'd done -or me- so she left. Then, six months later, she was in a car accident. She died instantly. Along with any chance for me to return to who I was." He hung his head in shame. "If only I had told her sooner? Or never told her at all."

Kagome was a mixture of pissed and dismay as she grabbed his face and forced him to look up at her. "If she truly loved you, then it wouldn't have mattered. None of this is your fault, Inuyasha."

After a few seconds, she released him. He recovered from the shock of the intimate moment and lowered his head again. "You promised to be honest with me. So tell me, Kagome. Do you want to stay with a dangerous person like me? Someone who's cursed to be like this until the day he dies? Because I'll never change; I will always be this monster. Someone that could snap and hurt you at any moment. Do you want to live with someone like that?" She hesitated, and he looked up. There was red bleeding into his eyes. "Do you want to live with a Hanyou or run for your life?"