Chapter Three
Stephanie pulled up to the curb of the Bride Shoppe, conveniently located next to the Tasty Pastry. Her eyes cut to the Tasty Pastry wondering if she could get a donut or twenty before she tried on a dozen wedding dresses, none of which would be her taste or her choice. Not that it surprised her. Nothing else was her choice either. Not the date, the venue, the bridesmaids, or the officiant, so why should the dress be any different. Stephanie heaved out a sigh and got out of the car, and struggled to get the door to close. After a few hip bumps and the lord's name in vain it finally caught.
A few days had passed since the engagement, and time hadn't altered the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Initially she thought it had just been shock, but now she was beginning to suspect it was more than just nerves. Stephanie tried and failed to push that thought away. She was lucky and she was going to be happy, dammit. She thought she sounded slightly like a deranged cheerleader, and probably looked like one too with that crazed smile pasted on her face and wild eyes, every time someone congratulated her on her engagement.
Sure, it wasn't exactly how she'd envisioned getting married, but her mother was happy. Bella was happy. Everyone seemed happy, but her, and maybe Morelli, although he'd hightailed it out the next morning like a scalded cat and hadn't been back so it was hard to tell. She was just a little afraid her unhappiness wasn't about the ugly flowers or the cake she didn't like. She was deathly afraid it was because Morelli wasn't the man she had envisioned marrying. Her stomach did a little roil and she decided a donut wouldn't help matters. Besides she still had to fit into a wedding dress in a little more than a month.
Morelli had been away on assignment, at least that is what he had said. Something in the way he had told her made unease throb through her. This morning, on a whim, she'd driven past Teri Gilman's house. Morelli's truck was parked outside. Teri and Morelli had been high school sweethearts. They had been hot and heavy for a few years, and the rumor was, on occasion, they still were. Nowadays Teri worked for her Uncle Vito kneecapping people for protection money, and Morelli mostly denied hooking up with her. A cop hooking up with a mob enforcer wouldn't do either one of their careers any favors.
There was just something in the way Morelli looked at Teri, his eyes soft and melty, that raised red flags for Stephanie, and made her think whatever was between them hadn't ended in high school. Stephanie wondered if that is how she looked at Ranger. Is that what set Morelli off about him.
Stephanie knew Teri sometimes liaisoned with the Trenton P.D., and she told herself that was all it was. She ignored her spidey sense clanging like a mariachi band in the back of her head, drowning out her thoughts. Morelli had proposed to her, they were going to be married. Surely, he hadn't immediately raced to Teri's bed for one last fling.
Stephanie couldn't help but wonder if Morelli's definition of monogamy would be to only cheat on her with one other woman at a time, probably Terri Gilman. Stephanie felt the lingering insecurity she had about Morelli's faithfulness bubble to the surface, and she pushed it away.
Teri, with her blonde hair and double Ds, was in the rearview mirror of Morelli's life she firmly told herself. Sure, the little voice inside her head laughed. Just like Ranger was in her review mirror. Stephanie told the little voice in her head to shut-up.
Morelli being gone had been both a blessing and a curse. Time away meant no fights but it also left her alone to slog through fabric swatches and dress buying while insecurity preyed on her mind. Her hamster, Rex, had been remarkably silent and somewhat sullen on the subject, refusing to come out of his soup can to discuss things. Maybe Rex wasn't thrilled with moving into Morelli's house. With all of Morelli's things and none of his. His identity and safe haven stripped from him. Yeah, that's what Stephanie thought Rex's problem was. She wasn't so sure what hers was.
Dread dogged each step she took. She couldn't help but snort at the irony of the Bride Shoppe's location. It was like life was coming full circle or maybe it was just mocking her. She'd lost her virginity to Morelli on the floor of the Tasty Pastry at sixteen and now he was making an honest woman out of her sixteen years later at the Bride Shoppe next door. Who said the universe didn't have a sense of humor.
The Bride Shoppe was owned by Maria Raguzzi, a plump and very pleasant woman in her late fifties, with short dark hair and kind eyes. Stephanie figured both the plumpness and the pleasantness came from the copious amounts of wedding cake she ate. Stephanie could get on board with the idea of wedding cake, it was just the actual wedding she wasn't sure about. Really who didn't like cake, but maybe just plain old cake was the better option. It wasn't like wedding cake was better than birthday cake. Cake might even be her favorite thing, right behind Ranger. Stephanie did a mental head slap. She was soon to be a married woman. No more swooning over Ranger or any other man for that matter. Not that there had ever been another man after Ranger had walked into that diner. Her brain had short circuited, and apparently it had fried the little part of her brain that found any other man even half as attractive.
Stephanie's gut clenched. What was wrong with her? This was supposed to be a happy time in her life, so why was picking out a wedding dress on par with a root canal? She gave one last longing glance at the Tasty Pastry and headed into the Bride Shoppe.
Mrs. Raguzzi greeted Stephanie at the door.
"Dear, it is so nice to see you. Congratulations. That Joseph is quite the catch." She said conspiratorially and winked at Stephanie. "Don't you worry, we will find you the perfect dress."
Stephanie just smiled. As long as she'd known her, Mrs. Raguzzi had always worn a fat round pincushion as a bracelet, and today was no exception. Mrs. Raguzzi had a yellow tape measure draped around her neck that stood out in sharp contrast to her plain navy dress and sensible flats. There was something about a woman that wore straight pins on her wrist that inspired trust that she knew a thing or two about weddings. That and Mrs. Raguzzi had been married and divorced three times, so she had some experience.
"So dear, will these measurements need to be umm adjusted?"
Stephanie just stared at her perplexed. Mrs. Raguzzi's eyes drifted to Stephanie's stomach and Stephanie felt a blush creep across her cheeks.
"Are you asking if I'm pregnant." Stephanie hissed.
Stephanie heard her mother gasp. When she turned around her mother was making the sign of the cross.
"I'm not pregnant." Stephanie snapped.
Did everyone think the only reason Morelli would marry her was because he'd knocked her up? Irritation traveled over her and she narrowed her eyes and glared at Mrs. Raguzzi. Mrs. Raguzzi took a hesitant step backwards and at least had the good grace to look embarrassed. Even Mrs. Raguzzi had heard about Stephanie burning down the funeral home, and Mrs. Raguzzi probably didn't want to take any chances with the Bride Shoppe meeting the same fate.
"OK." Mrs. Raguzzi said brightly. "No need for an empire waist or a gown that can easily be expanded. I just thought since the wedding was in just a few weeks." Her voice trailed off. "I'll just go get some recommendations for you to try." With that she bustled off.
Stephanie realized the Burg gossip tree must be in full swing. It had never even dawned on Stephanie that everyone would assume she was pregnant and it was a shotgun wedding. Anger hot and unexpected drifted over her and she squeezed her eyes shut and said a preemptory Hail Mary. She may as well get started, because Stephanie had a feeling this day was going to earn her a boatload.
"Come on. Valerie and Mary Lou are in the presentation room. They've picked out some bridesmaid dresses." Her mother said brightly as she kept casting furtive glances towards Stephanie's stomach.
Stephanie followed her mother into the presentation room and greeted Mary Lou and her sister, saint Valerie.
"I can't believe you are getting married again." Valerie squealed. "And, Joe is such a dream."
Stephanie took a moment of satisfaction that Valerie's bleached blonde hair looked garish under the lights in the presentation room, and silently added another Hail Mary to her tally.
"Much better than Dickie." Mary Lou joined in.
Mary Lou was Stephanie's friend from high school. She'd married right after graduation and started popping out babies like a good Burg girl should. Mary Lou had a quick wit and always had her back, but over the last few years they had drifted apart. They didn't have much in common anymore, but Stephanie was glad she was here.
Stephanie forced herself to smile, a little of their enthusiasm infecting her. It was pretty clear they had all been imbibing in the free champagne for a while. Stephanie grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim, chugging it down. She was going to need all the help she could get to make it through this day. She refilled the glass with a little more liquid courage.
Mrs. Raguzzi came in to get Stephanie. "I've put some recommendations in the dressing room for you." She clasped her hands together. "I'm sure you will find the perfect dress."
Stephanie wasn't quite as sure but she dutifully followed her down the hall.
A few minutes later, Stephanie shuffled to the presentation room in the first dress Mrs. Raguzzi had stuffed her in. It had drop sleeves and a huge bell skirt made of some sort of scratchy organza material. It reminded her of a meringue or something off the set of Gone with the Wind. It was hideous and made a weird swishing noise when she walked.
"I love it!" Valerie enthused.
Stephanie figured Valerie liked the dress because it made Stephanie's hips look wider than Valerie's ass after her last baby with Albert. Stephanie silently weighed whether that thought had earned her another Hail Mary, but she figured god would give her a pass on it.
Mary Lou looked dubious, and her mother looked contemplative. Stephanie suspected her mother was debating if that much material could hide her stomach in case Stephanie really was pregnant.
Stephanie stepped up on the pedestal with the multiple mirrors that showcased all the angles and almost screamed. There was so much material she thought she might go blind from the glare. She looked like a giant white pumpkin.
"What do you think dear. It's just perfect isn't it." Mrs. Raguzzi enthused.
"I think it washes out my complexion." Stephanie hedged wondering if Mrs. Raguzzi was blind.
Mrs. Raguzzi pursed her lips and gave her a critical eye. "You just need to see yourself with the veil."
Stephanie thought what she really needed was a different dress that didn't require its own zip code and remind her of food.
"What am I doing getting married anyway?" Stephanie asked. "Do I really want to get married?"
Stephanie hadn't realized she'd said that out loud until she heard her mother gasp.
"Of course, you want to get married," her mother hissed, the panic was clear in her voice, all her carefully constructed plans and her Burg status teetering on the edge of a cliff.
"Everyone wants to get married." Valerie replied. Giving Stephanie that disdainful look that said she thought Stephanie was some kind of a freak. A look Valerie had perfected since they were kids.
Stephanie suddenly felt like the dress was suffocating her. She could barely breathe as sweat beaded on her upper lip, and breakfast threatened to make a reappearance.
"Not in this dress." She finally managed to choke out and raced back down the hall to the dressing room. Stephanie practically ripped the stupid thing off and sat in the dressing room gulping air. Hot tears burning behind her eyes.
Mrs. Raguzzi knocked on the door. "Are you OK? Do you need any help?"
"No" Stephanie stammered. "Just give me a damn minute." Stephanie practically yelled.
"Umm, OK. I've left a few more selections outside. Take your time."
Stephanie heard the door click shut. Get it together Stephanie told herself, she'd just yelled at some poor woman for no reason. Stephanie took a couple of more calming breaths and opened the door pulling the new dresses inside.
She looked through them, discarding the majority on sight. She finally found one that didn't make her want to vomit. It was a simple satin A-line dress with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a removable belt in a light cream. Stephanie pulled it on and opened the dressing room door.
She barely stifled a startled scream. Standing there looking at her with a completely unreadable expression was Ranger. The weight of his gaze, the sudden force of it sent a tremor through her. God, he was beautiful. He was six feet of sheer perfection that made her knees weak and her heart race.
Stephanie had an almost uncontrollable urge to beg him to take her away. Put her in his Porsche with those buttery leather seats and get her the hell out of here. Anywhere but here. The plea bubbled in her throat and she swallowed it down. Have a little pride she chastised.
Stephanie just stood there staring, her voice silent in her throat and her heart pounding. His eyes roamed over her taking in the dress, giving nothing away.
"I heard congratulations are in order." Ranger finally said. His eyes swept over the sea of white dresses. "You'll be a beautiful bride no matter which dress you choose."
Stephanie swallowed past the lump in her throat, the sound echoing in the quiet room.
"Thanks." Stephanie managed to squeak out.
"When's the big day?"
His voice was completely neutral, but he was doing that thing where he could take her heartrate and examine her innermost thoughts. Stephanie decided he must not be able to read them, because if he could, he'd sweep her up in his arms and run away with her.
"June sixteenth."
She saw his eyebrow go up a fraction, the only indication that he was surprised. His gaze slid to her stomach.
"I'm not pregnant." Stephanie blurted out. Irritation rippling through her.
"What, I have to be knocked up for someone to marry me." Stephanie didn't mean to sound so bitter, but she couldn't quite help it. Stephanie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. Not even Ranger thought a man would marry her unless he had to.
"No, babe." His deep rich voice cascaded over her. It had a silky edge like a purr and she squeezed her eyes shut, so he wouldn't see the stark longing she knew was reflected on her face.
"I just thought…I just hoped." Ranger snapped his mouth shut willing himself to shut up.
He what? Was hoping she was marrying Morelli because she thought she had to, because she'd accidentally gotten pregnant. Because they could make that work. He didn't care if she had another man's baby, he could love that baby like his own. But she wasn't pregnant. She was marrying Morelli because she wanted to, not because she thought she had to, and that was like a knife slice right through him. A mortal wound. He'd come here to sweep her off her feet and rescue her, so sure that marrying Morelli wasn't what she wanted. Apparently the only one that didn't want her to marry Morelli was him. He'd been a meddling fool. He should turn and walk away for both their sakes, but his body wasn't cooperating. It was in league with his traitorous heart, ignoring logic and overriding his brain.
Ranger took a step towards her. Stephanie knew he could see her pulse fluttering wildly at the base of her neck. Her head tilted up to look at him. He was so close she could feel his body heat, but yet he wasn't touching her. Her body was humming, every cell in her being screamed out for him to just touch her. Maybe even kiss her. His intoxicating scent drifted over her, teasing her senses, invoking memories.
Ranger in bed. His deep voice a husky whisper heavy with desire as his warm breath tickled her ear. The small of his back slick with sweat as he moved over her, the feel of his muscles rippling with exertion as her fingers drifted over him. That silky hair falling across his forehead making him seem younger and softer when he looked down on her with those soft dark eyes that made her melt. Why was it that one night with him was so vivid that she could remember every single detail?
"Why are you here?" She finally asked him.
She saw his eyes drift closed for a second, and then he looked at her. There was heat in his eyes and something else, it looked and awful lot like regret.
"I don't know." Came his soft reply.