Chapter Five

Ranger heard the knock at the office door and blew out a frustrated breath. Ranger was in no mood to deal with anyone's problems today.

"Enter" he barked.

He looked up as Tank came in and closed the door.

"What is it?" Ranger asked, irritation evident in his voice.

Tank just crossed his arms over his massive chest and glared at him.

Ranger pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to ease the throbbing pain behind his eyeball. "If you have something to say, say it."

"Today's the day." Tank stated.

Ranger just looked at him. Tank's eyes lifted heavenward for a second. Ranger couldn't tell if he was looking for patience or maybe he was asking for forgiveness for the ass beating he was about to give Ranger. The odds were fifty-fifty.

"Baby girl is getting married to the cop today. What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing." Ranger snapped and went back to the paperwork on his desk. His attempt at dismissing Tank didn't work, not that Ranger had really expected it to.

"You're just going to let her marry the cop?" Disbelief made Tank's voice sharp.

"Stephanie said yes. She chose him." Ranger tried and failed to keep his voice from sounding bitter.

Tanks eyebrow went up a fraction. "You're not usually this much of a dumb fuck. Stephanie didn't choose Morelli, you blind idiot." Tank snapped. That voice had caused any number of grown men to wet their pants and Ranger was beginning to see why.

"She's wearing his ring, now isn't she." Ranger hissed.

"Yes, but that's because you never offered her anything. You slept with her and then went on about your business like it didn't mean anything. You and I both know it did, and if you let her marry the cop you are the biggest dumb fuck in the world, and you will spend the rest of your life regretting it."

In all the years he had known him, Ranger was pretty sure that was the most he'd ever heard Tank say at one go.

Tank turned towards the door. "You have forty-two minutes to get your head out of your ass. I'll be downstairs with the Porsche. I'll drive, that way you can practice your sorry I'm a dumb-fuck speech on the way." Ranger just glared at Tank. Tank's eyes fluttered heavenward again and he shook his head, and gave a weary sigh like the burden of dealing with Ranger the idiot was too much. Well, everyone had their cross to bear and Ranger was pretty sure right now he was Tank's.

Ranger watched Tank walk out and close the door. He forced his attention back to the paperwork on his desk, but all he could see was her face. That look on her face, the one that said she needed him as much as he needed her. Ranger had broken all the rules with her, that's what you did for a woman like Stephanie. Every time she looked at him with those eyes, those goddamned eyes that told him everything. The need, the want, the love written all over her face. It had been like a punch to the gut.

Ranger had tried to deny the way he felt about her for years, and now she was slipping through his fingers. His knees had almost buckled when she told him she wasn't pregnant, because pregnant he could have dealt with. The reason for the sudden wedding was because Stephanie had said yes to Morelli. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to, and that was irrevocable. The door had been slammed shut and Ranger walked away or at least he was trying. He would not mess this up for her. She deserved to be happy, and if she thought the cop would do that, Ranger would be happy for them both.

Ranger looked over at the clock that was mocking him. In forty-one minutes, his fate would be sealed. But it was for the best. They could both move on. He owed her an apology, he owed her an explanation, but she hadn't been interested in anything he had to say. She'd made that clear. Stephanie had wanted a clean break from the likes of him. Not that he really blamed her. He had no business in that dressing room. Things had gotten hot and heavy, and he had no doubt she regretted it. He would too, if he had a conscience, but he didn't.

But there was something about that day that nagged at him, it tickled the back of his mind. Like he'd missed something vitally important. Ranger had turned over every minute of that day in his head a thousand times over, and something had been off. It had been in her expression, the tone of her voice. Maybe if his head hadn't been quite so far up his ass, he could have figured it out. She didn't deny that she wanted to marry Morelli, but at the same time, she never said she did. She had been searching his face looking for answers, something pleading in her eyes. She'd said nothing, and maybe nothing meant something. Or not. Hell, Ranger didn't know anymore. His mind was toying with him. Hope was such an insidious and persistent creature. Ranger scrubbed his hand down his face.

He hated her lost look when he'd left her in the dressing room. He should have stayed and talked. No, that wasn't true. What he should have done was taken her with him right then, and pleaded his case. Bundled her into the Porsche and absconded with her. Spent a week at the beach making love to her and showing her how he felt. He might never deserve her, but he could spend his whole life trying. He should have tried to change her mind, let her know his hat was in the ring. The outcome might have been the same, but at least he would have known he did everything he could.

Instead, Ranger had been a coward. He had faced down half the world's terrorists but one woman with magical blue eyes had made his legs quake and stolen his voice right along with his sanity. He'd walked out on her, again, without telling her how he felt. The diamond winking on her finger, the sea of wedding dresses, and the sound of the Raguzzi woman had short circuited his brain. Stephanie was in the Bride Shoppe trying on dresses because she had said yes. She had agreed to be another man's wife, and he had no business messing that up unless he knew that's what she wanted.

He had waited and prayed for a sign from her. All she had to do was say the word and he would have swept her up in his arms and taken her away with him. But Stephanie hadn't said a thing. Her silence had conveyed her choice. Maybe he should have gotten down on his knees and begged. She'd asked if there was a reason she shouldn't marry Morelli, and he didn't have one. Morelli was the better man, the safe bet. And now it was too late.

His gaze cut to the clock. In thirty-nine minutes, his life would be irrevocably changed. It was for the best he repeated out loud. He could put the whole Stephanie detour behind him, and focus on his priorities. So why did it feel like he couldn't breathe, and he might never be able to breathe again if he let her marry Morelli? Why did his life just feel empty without her? Because you're in love with her, the little voice in his head mocked. Ranger ran his hand through his hair and forced himself to take a calming breath. His eyes slid to the clock. Thirty-seven minutes.

The weeks had flown by and little by little Stephanie had glued the broken, jagged pieces of her heart back together. She'd acted with reckless abandon at the Bride Shoppe and all but begged Ranger to give her a reason not to marry Morelli. But he hadn't. He'd zipped up and walked out on her just like the last time.

She wondered just how thick in the head she was that she had to be bashed repeatedly with the simple truth. Ranger did not want her. He had never been unclear about what he wanted, and what he didn't. His words didn't seem to match his actions sometimes and that had confused her, but that wasn't really an excuse for completely ignoring the flashing orange caution sign. A casual screw here or there was fine, but anything more, he was simply incapable of giving to her. Or maybe he just didn't want to. Whatever the reason, it didn't really matter. Not anymore. She was marrying Morelli. Today. She felt her stomach flip, and she swallowed hard. Please not that again.

Stephanie had avoided Ranger's calls and his texts asking to talk since that day in the Bride Shoppe. What was there left to say? Thanks for the orgasm. OK, orgasms plural. Stephanie yanked her thoughts away from those memories before her traitorous body started to remember and that horrible empty ache took hold.

Ranger had been a little slow on the uptake and finally Stephanie had given up and gotten a new phone just so she wouldn't constantly be tempted to give in and talk to him. If nothing else to hear that deep, rich voice resonate through her. She was terrified she'd give in and meet him, and they both knew where that would end up. She'd gotten engaged to Morelli and then promptly cheated on him. Morelli and Teri had long been a sore spot for her, but was she really any better? She had to stay away from Ranger if for no other reason than to prevent a repeat of the Bride Shoppe.

A new phone for a new life. She was leaving behind her old life and her old friends and Ranger belonged in her past. He had no place in her future, and he didn't want one.

Her lease had been up at the end of the month and Stephanie had packed up her few belongings and moved in with Morelli. The fighting had gotten so bad she'd fled to her parent's house where she had been for the last couple of weeks. It was just pre-wedding nerves she'd told herself. Once they were married, they would settle into a routine.

Morelli had resented her in his space. She'd tried to make herself small, but everything had set him off. He was just as stressed and unhappy as she was. Stephanie had confronted him, and he'd apologized. Morelli had assured her he wanted to get married, things had just been hard at work and it was stressing him out. A part of Stephanie knew that didn't bode well for a happy marriage. When would things not be hard at work, he was a vice cop? Stephanie pushed that thought away. Now that she was at her parent's, things had settled down between the two of them. They'd always seemed to get on better when they each had their own space.

Stephanie had been offered a full-time office job at one of the brokerage firms she had done temp work for. She'd accepted and given Vinnie her two weeks' notice. Things were clicking into place and respectable was just on the horizon. So why did it feel like such a bad decision. A stifling and soul crushing choice. Maybe this was the price you paid to be an adult.

Her thoughts often drifted to Ranger but she ruthlessly pushed him out of her mind. Sometimes she would feel a little tingle at the back of her neck or see a black Porsche slide by and her heart would race and her palms would get sweaty. But Ranger never came to whisk her away to his fairy tale castle or the mysterious bat cave. Maybe by the time she turned eighty she would finally be over him.

Morelli had shown no interest in wedding planning and that irked her a little, but then the truth was she had no interest in it either. Her mother and Valerie had taken care of the details. And that is how they had gotten to this point.

The church looked like someone had thrown-up pepto-bismol all over the altar and down the aisle. Garish pink carnations and little Gerber daisies dotted the landscape, leading up to the front of the church where an arbor of the same sickly pink stood. Swaths of silky pink fabric were strategically draped throughout the church, and matched the satin pink of the bridesmaid dresses.

Stephanie vaguely wished there was actual pepto in the church as her stomach gave another lurch and she rushed to the bathroom, making it to the toilet in the nick of time before she heaved up the plain bagel she'd eaten for breakfast. The last few days her stomach had been in full revolt and she really hoped she didn't puke halfway down the aisle.

After a few moments her stomach settled and Stephanie rinsed her mouth out, and headed back in to get dressed. The only thing she had put her foot down about was the dress. She couldn't bear to buy the dress that she had been trying on when Ranger had shown up in the dressing room. She liked that dress, but she was afraid every time she looked at it, the only thing she would see would be him. So, she'd found another dress that was a compromise between the ball gown that her mother wanted and something simple that she preferred. It was a slimmed down, modern take on the ballgown silhouette that paired a simple strappy bodice with a full, tiered skirt that moved and swirled around her like a fairy tale princess. Stephanie figured that was as close as she was ever going to get to happily ever after.

Stephanie tamed her curls into cascading waves and secured a simple tulle elbow length veil that had been her grandma Plum's. It framed her face and served as something old.

A soft knock on the door alerted her that her father was here to walk her down the aisle. Stephanie took one last look in the mirror. The woman staring back at her had dark shadows under her eyes that betrayed her unease. A momentary flash of panic swept through her that after today her life would never be the same.

Her father poked his head in. "Ready?" He asked.

Stephanie nodded. "Yes."

Her dad studied her for a minute. "You know Stephanie, you don't have to do this."

Stephanie's eyes snapped to his, a thousand thoughts warring through her head.

"Joe's a good man, but he may not be the right man for you." Her father gave a half-shrug. "Don't let your mother push you into something you don't want."

Stephanie felt tears threaten and she blinked them back.

"I love Joe." Came her automatic reply. Stephanie wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.

Her father held out his arm and she took it and they headed to the chapel.

She watched as Anthony's little girl randomly threw pink rose petals everywhere and then got tired of doling them out and dumped a big pile of them in the middle of the aisle and then skipped off to some new adventure. Anthony was Joe's best man and watched with disinterest. Stephanie wondered if Joe would be like his brother when it came to kids. Anthony had a herd of them, but showed very little interest. Stephanie always figured Anthony had taken more after old man Morelli than Joe had. At least she hoped that was the case.

Valerie made her way down the aisle, followed by Mary Lou. They reminded Stephanie of big pink blobs of cotton candy.

The wedding march started and Stephanie and her father walked arm in arm down the aisle. She could feel all the eyes on them and she prayed she wouldn't trip. Her eyes locked with Morelli. He was smiling, but Stephanie didn't think it quite reached his eyes. He looked breathtakingly handsome in his tux, and her heart gave a little tug. They'd been marching towards this moment for years, and now that it was here, she couldn't help but wonder if it was a mistake. They were standing in this church pledging their lives to each other because they thought they should, not because they wanted to. Stephanie quickly pushed that thought aside. The time for doubts was over. No white knight was going to sweep in and spirit her away. She and Morelli would make a good life together.

They reached the front of the church and Morelli stepped forward. Stephanie's father kissed her cheek, and gave her arm a final squeeze and stepped away. Stephanie took Morelli's hand and they took their place in front of Father John.

"Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today to join Joseph and Stephanie in holy matrimony. Let us raise our voices to the lord in song to celebrate this glorious occasion."

The music started and Stephanie heard the opening lines "Glory to God in the highest. And on earth peace to men of good will."

Stephanie's focus drifted as the song continued. Her thoughts went to another time and another man. Babe whispered through her head and she briefly closed her eyes blocking it out. She felt Morelli give her hand a little squeeze. He was looking down at her with concerned eyes. She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

The song ended and the guest were seated. Father John began the Liturgy of the Word reading various passages someone had picked out, but Stephanie couldn't really hear him. The loud buzzing in her head drowned out the sound of Father John's voice. Her breathing sounded inordinately loud in her own ears and her stomach gave a little lurch. Please she thought don't let her puke in front of everyone. The readings ended without Stephanie upchucking so maybe things were looking up after all.

Father John continued the ceremony. "Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Stephanie's breath hitched and a flash of heat went through her body. Her ears strained listening for the growl of the Porsche, looking for a sign. The moment passed and disappointment swept over her. Ranger wasn't coming. It was time to let go of silly, childish fantasies.

"Hearing none, let's proceed." Father John declared.

Stephanie pushed away the feeling of dread clawing its way through her body. Right up until that very moment, part of her had believed Ranger was coming. That he wouldn't let this happen, that he felt something too. Stephanie tried to focus on what Father John was saying. This was adulthood not fantasy land and there were no fierce knights or superheroes coming to save her from a life of boredom, babies, and Bella.