Hey! I won't keep you in this area for too long. Just, for those interested, I added some songs to the In Her Eyes 2 playlist on Spotify. That's it…
Thank you all for your ginormous patience and I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Also, let me know what you think here or on Twitter!
Thank you for reading.
MAD WORLD
"Good morning! You guys wanna go out for breakfast with us? We can meet in the lobby in 15"
Sarah texted Lea, but her and Shaun were fast sleep, exhausted by all the dancing and love making from the previous night and early morning.
15 minutes later, Sarah and Michael were in the lobby, waiting for their friends, but at the lack of a reply or sight from any of them, they decided to go have breakfast on their own, assuming their friends had had a long night and were probably still sleeping.
A few hours later, Shaun woke up first and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. Minutes later, as Lea woke up, she moved her arm, with her eyes still closed, feeling around the space next to her on the bed, looking for Shaun, but he wasn't there, so she opened her eyes and sat up slightly, covering her body a bit with the sheets and wondering where her boyfriend might have gone, then she heard the shower. She smiled to herself, got off the bed completely naked and walked to the bathroom to join her boyfriend in the shower.
Shower sex didn't sound like a bad idea in her head, at the moment, but they had done enough earlier, so she thought she'd leave that for another time.
She opened the glass door quietly and stepped into the shower while Shaun was shampooing his head, then, smiling and while he was facing away from her, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around his waist, which made him jump slightly.
"It's just me" She said and giggled as he quickly rinsed his head then twisted a bit to look at her.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"What are showers for?" She grinned cheekily up at him.
"But I'm in here…"
"We can take turns, Shaunie" She explained, moving away from him. "You've done your hair, now let me do mine while you do your body"
"Hm" He glanced around then moved aside so she could get under the flow of water. "Good thing this is a big enough shower"
Lea raised a brow at his comment and just chuckled before closing her eyes as she leaned her head back into the water to get her hair wet and Shaun looked at her, admiring her body while grabbing the soap to wash his body. When lea opened her eyes again, she noticed the way he was looking at her and a little smirk drew on her lips as she grabbed the shampoo to squirt some on her hand.
"Save those thoughts for maybe later or another day, Shaunie" She smirked some more as she began washing her hair.
Shaun blushed like a boy that had been caught doing something naughty.
And that's how things went, they silently showered, taking turns to be in the water and admiring each other's bodies, until they eventually got out of there.
Wearing a robe, Lea watched Shaun while he was pulling out some clothes to wear.
"Last night - or this morning - I don't even know what time it is… anyway, it was amazing" She said with a soft smile.
"12:13" Shaun said checking his watch as he buckled it on his wrist. "And yes, it was" He nodded and she smiled some more, then looked around for her phone.
Shaun had picked their clothes from the floor after he woke up and arranged hers neatly on a chair in the room. She rummaged through them and pulled her phone out from the pocket of her jeans.
"Oof…" Lea muttered and sat on the bed, checking her phone.
"What?" Shaun asked.
"Sarah texted me earlier, asking if we wanted to have breakfast with them, but we were sleeping" She chuckled. "Oh and she texted me again, like a few minutes ago, asking if we want to go have lunch with them. She sent me the address of where they will be. Would you like to go?" She looked at him as he got dressed.
He nodded in response "I am pretty hungry"
"Okay" Lea muttered, smiled and replied to her friend.
Once at the restaurant where they met up for lunch with Sarah and Michael, they all happily greeted each other and got a table.
Shaun and Lea were sitting side by side across the table, so they were sitting in front of their friends. Shaun glanced around the restaurant as they quietly waited for their food and Lea looked out the window, watching people walk by and absentmindedly resting her hand on Shaun's thigh.
Sarah who had been staring at her friends while her husband checked something on his phone, couldn't help to grin and had to break the ice, pretty much stating the obvious.
"It was a long night, huh? All that dancing really got you guys tired. You slept till late!"
Nodding some in response, Lea smiled at her friend.
"Yes" Shaun nodded, too."Then we had sex, a lot, so we were very tired and Lea didn't see your messages because we were sleeping, until we were out of the shower this noon" Shaun nodded and Sarah's brows shot up with a slight smirk on her face, pressing her lips together tightly, trying hard not to laugh. Michael stopped looking at his phone and looked up at Shaun, smirking too.
—Oh my…— Lea thought, her mouth dropped open, she looked at her boyfriend with wide eyes and her cheeks flushed.
"Shaunie…"
Shaun turned his head to look at her then glanced to the side briefly before locking eyes with her again "Did - did I miss something?"
Still blushing, Lea looked down at the table, shaking her head slightly and sighed softly while Sarah couldn't contain her laughter anymore.
"I'm glad you had lot of fun last night and this morning, Shaun" Sarah grinned at him while Lea rolled her eyes and Michael chuckled.
Smiling, Shaun nodded a little.
"Did you enjoy last night and this morning, too, Lea?" Sarah teased her friend.
"She cam…" Shaun started, but his girlfriend quickly stopped him by touching his forearm with a warning squeeze and looked at him with wide eyes again.
"Nope…" Lea shook her head. "They don't more need details, Shaun"
He looked at her briefly then back at Sarah and Michael.
"Okay" He mumbled.
She let go of his arm, Sarah laughed again, and thankfully for Lea, their food couldn't have arrived at a better moment. As soon as her plate was placed in front of her, she thanked the waiter and anxiously stuffed her mouth with a french fry.
Once the awkwardness was gone after Michael changed the topic, they happily chatted and ate, until something on the TV at the restaurant caught their attention.
"After the WHO declared a global health emergency, it has announced that novel coronavirus' new name is COVID-19…The mayor of San Francisco has declared a local emergency even though there are still zero confirmed cases of the virus within its residents and says that residents of the Bay Area remain at low risk of becoming infected with this new virus, unless they have recently traveled to… First death cause by the virus has been reported in Washington…" Said the news reporter…
Since the beginning of that year, the news began reporting about a "mysterious pneumonia" that was sickening people in China, but the government was confident, saying people in the US were safe and only those who had traveled to the place of origin were sick, but then, a couple cases of people who had not traveled to China appeared. No one knew for sure what to expect, though. Everyone trusted that the leaders of the country knew what to do to keep everyone safe, so they just focused on their lives, making sure to follow the simple instructions everyone had been given; basic stuff everyone should have been doing, whether there was a new virus or not, but people were being reminded of. Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, cover up if you sneeze or cough, stay home if you're sick, and get your yearly flu shot…
Lea, her boyfriend and friends chatted briefly about the matter as they finished their food, then they headed out to explore the city on their last day there. Visited the classic touristy spots in San Francisco, took some photos, fooled around and then they got dinner before giving Mike and Sarah a ride to the airport. Everyone said their goodbyes and finally Shaun and Lea drove back to San Jose.
Their first trip together as a couple had been a success, probably more than that, for obvious reasons, but even though they had reached a milestone, Lea was somehow still in the mindset of wanting to take things slow. However, none of them even thought that things were basically going to have to be put on hold soon…
—
Back in the County of Santa Clara, at night, Lea stopped by Shaun's apartment building to drop him off.
"I had a lot of fun in San Francisco, I'm glad we made that trip" He said.
She grinned and nodded "Me too, Shaunie"
He unclipped his seat belt and leaned over the seat to kiss his girlfriend. She happily kissed him back, cupping his cheek in her hand and, a minute later, he pulled back and looked into her eyes.
"Would you like to come inside? We could…" A playful smile drew on his lips and Lea chuckled, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"As much as I would like to say yes to such offer, we have to work tomorrow and you'll have a 36 hour shift, so we're gonna have to take a rain check on that one. You need to rest"
He nodded "You're right. We can have sex when my shift is over"
Lea giggled and nodded, too. "I guess, yeah"
"I will see you tomorrow" He leaned over to kiss her one more time and she smiled, returning the kiss.
Days later…
Lea's loud moans were being muffled by a pillow as her face was against it and her hips were up in the air with her lower back arched and the rest of her body against the mattress while one of Shaun's hands held onto her hip and the other was up on one of her shoulders.
She reached up, trying to hold onto something, but Shaun's bed lacked a headboard, in fact, it lacked everything, it was just a twin mattress on the floor, but he liked it that way and she wasn't going to argue about it with him, maybe not yet.
Her palm only found the cold and flat brick wall of his room, nothing to hold onto, so she moved it back to the mattress and held tight onto the sheets as her body began trembling intensely when she reached her orgasm and, a minute later, he reached his, moaning out her name.
Her body laid completely flat on the bed as her back moved slightly up and down with every heavy breath she took.
Shaun moved off of her body to lay on his side, next to her, breathing heavily as well and admiring his girlfriend's body.
"Did you like it?" He asked with slight smirk.
Lea smirked against the pillow then moved her head to face him "Do I look like I didn't? My whole body feels like jello right now, specially my legs, Shaunie… If I stood up right now and tried to walk, I'd probably look like Bambi" She laughed a bit and Shaun grinned then laid on his back.
"If you can't move, does that mean you'll stay here tonight?"
"Nope, I have to go back to my place" She said, pushing herself up a bit and leaned to peck his lips.
"Why? I stayed at your place once and we slept in the same room and bed in San Francisco, plus, you've lived here before, why don't you stay here tonight?"
"Because we have work tomorrow and if I stay, we won't sleep" She winked at him.
"How come you haven't slept here yet? Should we plan another sleepover but here this time?"
"We've only been dating for a few weeks, Shaunie. There will be plenty of time to do that another night. Don't overthink it, okay?"
He looked at her, obviously overthinking things and Lea, subtly and playfully, rolled her eyes.
"Fine. Look, I'll…" She paused and thought for a moment, then added "I will spend the night here this Saturday, is that okay?" She raised a brow and looked at him with a little smile.
"That is okay" He smiled too and nodded, then she pecked his lips again.
"You won't be able to spend the night at my apartment tomorrow" Shaun told Lea as they met in the conference room where staff was called to, mainly the heads of each department, but Shaun got word of things first by Glassman and then he wanted his girlfriend to know, too, so he called her and asked her to meet him in said room.
"What? Why? Will you be on-call? Ugh, did they change your schedule again?" She rolled her eyes annoyedly.
"N-no. Have you not seen the news?"
"Uh, not really, I've been a bit busy. What's going on?" She looked around as people gathered in the room, then looked at Shaun, expectantly, as Dr. Glassman stood front and center in the room, then began talking about the situation the world was in and how it was affecting California, among other states, as well as the new orders from the government and how they were going to change the way the hospital and it's staff was going to work from then on, for at least a month, as declared by the government.
Days earlier, the WHO had declared the new virus a pandemic. The number of cases in the county and overall state had increased, as well as the number of deaths in California and other parts of the country and the world. Schools had closed and St. Bonaventure's hospital had begun receiving patients affected by the virus. Due to all that, the government issued stay-at-home orders for the people, which meant there would be essential and non-essential workers, and those non-essential ones were to stay at home and not go out unless it was to buy groceries, medicine or a few other activities deemed essential.
Lea's mouth dropped open slightly as she listened to the president of the hospital, then looked at her boyfriend again.
"I need to go talk to my boss" She said after Dr. Glassman finished talking and stormed off to go talk to the head of the IT department.
The first month of lockdown went okay… but then, a month turned into two and the government said shelter-in-place orders would probably last until summer, and things weren't okay anymore. Just when they thought they could see the light at the end of the tunnel, things got worse.
Lea and her team were supposed to work from home and only go to the hospital when it was actually necessary; her boss was the main one coming and going to and from the hospital, more than anyone else from the IT department.
Everyone kept waiting for the day they would hear everything was over and they could go back to their normal lives, but that's all they could do, keep waiting and hoping.
Shaun and Lea had not seen each other in person since after that meeting with Glassman, months ago.
Shaun told her it was too dangerous because the number of cases and deaths kept raising and he had decided to not only work as a resident in the surgical department, but also help at the very front lines, testing and receiving people who would go to the hospital with symptoms of the new virus, so basically, even if he made sure to take all the measurements possible and available to stay free from the virus, everyday, he was exposed and there was a risk, which was why he decided not to visit Lea or let her visit him at all, in order to keep her safe.
So the only way they saw each other was through video calls. They would talk every morning and every night.
She understood he wanted to keep her safe, but the lockdown was somehow becoming a bit too much for her, as well as for others.
The world was a mess. Sickness everywhere, a messy government, protests everywhere, and some parts of the country and the world were literally on fine.
What bothered Lea obviously didn't compare with the struggles others were dealing with, but she felt like her life had become pretty stale.
Unlike Shaun, she didn't enjoy routine too much. Although she had somehow calmed down, she still liked some spontaneity from time to time, she liked going places, doing things, but with lockdown in place, there was nowhere to go, and living alone, there wasn't much to do, and with how busy Shaun was, there was barely time to even plan and have a nice dinner night together through video calls.
There were a lot of couples, even very new ones, who opted for moving in together for the time being; it was an option Shaun and Lea could have pondered, but it was probably too soon for them, and before she could even have a say in the matter, Shaun had decided to be apart, for Lea's sake, and his colleague, Dr. Park moved in with him.
After the earthquake, Park was supposedly going to move back to Phoenix to be with his family, but when the pandemic was announced and things got bad in California, he decided to stay and, in lack of a place to live because he had gotten rid of the one where he was staying, Shaun offered him Lea's old bedroom in his apartment.
Lea missed Shaun, in fact she missed everyone and everything, but specially him.
Shaun on the other hand, would say he didn't miss her, because they talked twice a day and the only difference was the lack of physical contact, but he did miss having sex, which at first was a bit hurtful for Lea.
Was that the only thing he missed about her and being with her?
And then when she tried to show him there were other ways to be intimate or that intimacy wasn't only about having sex, it almost triggered a meltdown.
Trying to fantasize having to use his imagination, which kinda meant having to close his eyes while also focusing on her, which meant opening his eyes and getting back to reality, which meant they weren't able to touch each other, was stupid and too much for him.
The closest they got to doing something similar was the day Lea set up her phone in her bathroom, filmed herself coming out of the shower, acting as if she wasn't aware of the camera. She got dressed in sexy red lace lingerie she had previously ordered online, then there was a cut on the video and the next scene showed Lea on her bed, tracing her fingers over the bare skin parts of her body and over the parts that were covered by the lacy fabric of the lingerie, then she proceeded to please herself, thinking of Shaun and moaning his name every so often until she finished. Breathing heavy, her body a little shaky and her cheeks flustered.
Shaun was speechless after watching such video. No one had ever sent him something of that nature. He had seen similar stuff before on porn videos, but this was his girlfriend, she had made such video for him and only him, with a purpose.
After the video was over, he looked down at his crotch and knew that Lea's mission had been accomplished, or part of it. He then watched the video again and satisfied his crotch needs that night.
Lea was glad to hear, the next day, that her video had been a very pleasant gift for him, but obviously, it wasn't enough for both. They still longed each other's company, but Shaun didn't want Lea to get sick.
What he and other doctors were seeing and dealing with, at the hospital, was nothing that he wanted Lea or anyone else to go through.
"Can you pass me the salt, please?" Lea asked and Shaun glanced to the sides confusedly, then she chuckled. "Just kidding"
"Oh, okay" He nodded slightly with a soft smile.
"I saw you have tomorrow off…?" Said Lea and smiled at her computer screen as her and Shaun enjoyed dinner through a video call.
"Yes" Shaun replied before feeding himself some pasta he had quickly prepared for himself.
"Have any plans yet?"
"N-no" He shook his head. "We can't do anything. I will be at home reading medical journals"
"Right… Well, they're easing up restrictions and parks are opening again, so I was thinking…"
"No" He cut her off. "They shouldn't be doing that" He added shaking his head.
She sighed and finished her sentence regardless of what he said "I was thinking we could go to the park and have lunch…"
"No" He shook his head again.
"…We could have a picnic. You know, on the grass"
"It's not safe" He said stubbornly.
Lea rolled her eyes "Come on Shaun, we haven't seen each other in months…"
"W-we see each other almost every day and night" He kept interrupting her.
"Through video calls. It's not the same! I miss you!"
He shook his head, fiddled with his fingers and slightly rocked himself back and forth on the chair he was sitting on.
"You say that everyday"
"Because I do miss you everyday! I miss more than just having sex with you… I miss being with you, and I think you miss me too, even if you always say you don't… I'm going crazy in here, Shaun. Literally, all I go out for is to take out the trash, buy groceries sometimes or to pick the food I ordered from some place. Most things on TV and social media are about the shit going on in the mad world we're living in right now, and I only have you and sometimes Sarah to talk to, but you're both so busy, and I get it. I just need to some fresh air and you… I need you"
He glanced around, still rocking back and forth and Lea sighed.
"We could go to the park, lay a blanket on the grass, away from people, and I could bring food or each of us could bring something. We'd sit, chat and eat at an open space" She added.
"We have to wear masks outside" Shaun reminded her.
"Not when you're eating or at an open space like that, while keeping distance"
He looked down at his hands for a moment as he thought about her offer.
"You don't want to see me?"
Shaun looked at his laptop screen again. "I am looking at you right now"
"That's not what I meant and you know it…"
It hurt for her to even think about there being a slight chance that maybe he really didn't want to see her or be with her anymore and was using the virus as an excuse to be separated.
—Don't be stupid, he just wants you to be safe…— She thought, closing her eyes for a second and sighed again.
"You know what? Forget it…" She shook her head slightly and put her fork down, not feeling hungry anymore, almost just wanting to close her laptop and go lay down on her bed.
"I do want to see you, Lea" He replied and she looked at him, then he added "I will bring my own food and you can bring yours, and we'll keep our distance" He nodded. "Those are the rules"
Lea smiled softly and nodded. "Of course. Yeah"
The next day, Shaun and Lea met up at the park, but before they walked to find the perfect spot to sit, she handed him a small bouquet of flowers she got for him, from a local shop, while on her way to the park.
Shaun stared at the flowers briefly then gave his girlfriend a confused look.
"I used hand sanitizer before and after getting out of the car to buy these. The lady at the flower shop used hand sanitizer, too, I saw her, and then I used some again before getting out of the car to mee you here" She assured him, still holding the bouquet.
"Are those… for me?" Shaun asked, pointing to the flowers.
Lea looked at him and chuckled once she understood that he wasn't worried about the cleanliness of what she was handing him, but rather confused by the gesture.
"Well, you're my only boyfriend. Of course they are for you! Flowers are not just for girls, pregnant women or people dying, Shaunie"
"Oh, okay" He smiled and took the flowers.
"I know they will wither, but, I just…" She shrugged. "I saw them on my way here and I wanted to get them for you"
"It's okay, thank you" He kept smiling and pulled his mask down a bit, then basically buried his nose into the bouquet to smell the flowers.
Lea grinned watching him.
"They smell very nice" He nodded and pulled his mask back up.
"I'm glad you like them… shall we find a spot to sit?"
"Yes" He said and then began walking along the park, in search for the perfect spot, away from most people, until they found it.
They found a spot shaded by a nice tree, then put their backpacks down and extended a blanket over the grass before pulling out their food in small containers.
"May I say hi to you properly now?" Lea asked once they were sitting and their masks were off, leaning closer to him, wanting to kiss him, but he immediately leaned back.
"N-no" He gently pushed her back then squirted some hand sanitizer on his hands. "We said we would keep our distance"
Shocked, Lea stared at him with her mouth slightly open.
"I thought you meant keep our distance from the other people here, not from each other. I - I'm not sick and neither are you…"
"We don't know that… Well, I do know I don't have the virus because I got tested yesterday, but we don't know if you don't have it. You could be asymptomatic, for all we know"
She stared at him, speechless, for a little longer, then rolled her eyes and muttered. "Okay…"
Shaun took a bite of his sandwich and she pulled hers out of its container.
"So, what's happened at work?" She asked randomly.
"People are dying" Shaun answered and Lea immediately regretted her question.
"Right… Change of topic… Uhm…"
With a doctor as a boyfriend, sometimes it was best not to talk about work during their time off.
She always loved hearing about his work and his excitement when talking about the cool procedures he gets to perform, but sometimes it was too much for both.
After spending almost the whole day at the hospital, sometimes it was best to talk about something other than medical stuff, but their jobs were very different; most of the time she didn't understand what Shaun was talking about, because she didn't understand most of the medical terms he used, and when she talked about her work, Shaun didn't know what she was talking about because he didn't know about coding and things like that.
They could talk about their lives, but there wasn't much to say, since Lea's life was pretty much the same everyday, stuck at home alone, working and watching tv or playing video games, and lately, with everything that had been going on, Shaun had sort of closed up when it came to talking about how he was feeling, so it was a bit hard to find something else to talk about.
At least she had managed to convince him to meet up at the park…
"Have Dr. Park's pancakes gotten any better?" She asked.
Some mornings, Shaun's new roommate would cook pancakes for both, but Shaun wasn't a fan…
"Not really" He shook his head. "Now I know why they taste weird. He makes them with oats, banana and he keeps adding protein powder to the mix…"
Lea laughed some then would smile foolishly and look at Shaun lovingly as he kept talking.
And for a little while, as they ate and chatted, everything seemed and felt like it did before the madness, up until he finished his food and put his mask back on…
As with a snap of fingers, Lea was taken back to reality, reminded that nothing was normal anymore and of how much she missed touching him; not in a sexual way, she just missed being close to him, hugging him, feeling his warmth against her and the calmness that that used make her feel.
After she finished her food, they talked some more about random things that came to mind, then Shaun decided it was time to head back home, something Lea didn't want, because home was in two separated places.
Was her apartment really a home?
I didn't feel like it. It was where she lived, but it wasn't home…
They picked all their belongings, then they silently walked back to the parking area.
"Okay, I will call you tonight" Shaun said as they stopped near the Stripped Tomato.
That was it, he was saying goodbye and about to walk away, just like that.
"I - I'm going to the store" She said right before he even tried to walk away. "We could go together and then go to your place and I could cook something for dinner?"
"I don't think that's a good idea" Shaun shook his head.
"Oh come on, we literally just ate together"
"But we are at an open space"
"We could eat out on the patio!"
"I have to study for tomorrow and Park will be there"
Lea rolled her eyes "Fine…" She sighed and moved closer to him, trying to at least get a hug from him, but he stepped back, extending his arm in front of him, then looked at the space between them and moved back a bit more, making sure there was about 6 feet between him and Lea.
"We have to keep our distance" He reminded her.
"Seriously? Not even a hug with our masks on?" She raised a brow.
"Rules are rules" He shrugged and shook his head slightly.
"Rules suck" She muttered, angered, frustrated and sad; feeling as if her heart and stomach had been squeezed and twisted. As if she somehow had been betrayed, or something, by the only person she loved in the whole city and the one she loved the most in the whole world.
"All right then… talk to you later" She added and turned around, then walked a few steps to her car.
Shaun just stood there, watching her as she got in the car and subtly waved bye.
Right after she drove out of the parking lot, she got rid of her mask and wiped away a tear that was about to fall down her cheek.
And just like everyone else with everything else, she thought things couldn't get worse, but they did, and that just pushed her down into a dark, pessimistic mood, something she had been avoiding lately, but she couldn't escape from it anymore that day.
—
"Hi Shaunie!" She said that night, grinning at her laptop screen as she answered the video call.
"Are you… Lea, are you drunk?" Shaun frowned slightly looking at his girlfriend on the screen of his laptop, quickly becoming aware of the state she was in.
"Mmm - maybe…" She replied and giggled.
Her hair was up on a loose ponytail, she was still wearing the clothes she wore earlier when they met at the park, and her eyes looked kinda red and puffy, as well as her cheeks.
"What are you gonna do about it, Shaunie, come and stop me?" She chuckled "Oooh nooo, you won't. Because we have to keep our distance" She huffed, rolled her eyes and drank some more beer from a bottle she was holding.
"How many beers have you drunk and why are you even drinking?" One of his brows went up, as he sat down by his dining table, placing the laptop in front of him, not liking his girlfriend's actions and worrying about her.
"Why am I drinking? Pffft" She chuckled sarcastically. "I don't know, maybe because I'm sick of this shit" She pressed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders. "Or maybe because my boyfriend doesn't even want to hug me or barely talks to me lately. I don't know what you're thinking or feeling…" She shook her head. "…Or maybe I'm drinking because my dad called today and told me they tested positive for covid, but they still think it's a scam from the government. Can you believe it?" She huffed, then muttered. "At least my nonna doesn't think like them…" She sighed. "I - I don't know, Shaun, there's too many reasons why I could be drinking tonight… or maybe, just, why not?" She drank some more beer. "There's nobody here to whom I have to explain myself, so why not? Oh, and to answer your other question… I've drunk more than beer" She nodded.
"You shouldn't drink any more" He shook his head and slightly rolled his eyes, fiddling with his fingers under the table. "You are being childish"
Lea scoffed and drank more beer in response, just ignoring his comment.
"I - I do want to hug you, and kiss you, and I miss having sex with you, but I'm trying to protect you!" He added, starting to get angry and even more anxious.
"See, that's the problem, Shaun. I don't miss the sex…" She shook her head. "I mean, I do, but it's not they main thing in my mind when I think of you or when I say I miss you and I want to be with you. Sex is not everything in a relationship. And yes, we do talk twice a day and see each other through video calls, but it's not the same… You look tired and like you're having a hard time at work, yet, you don't really talk to me. All you tell me is how much you miss having sex with me."
Shaun sighed and glanced around, not saying anything for a minute, then he replied.
"I don't talk much because if I did, all I have to tell you is how people keep getting intubated and dying at the hospital because of this stupid virus, and I'm sick of it, too!" He shouted and got up from the chair, then started pacing from one end of the table to the other.
The way he abruptly got up and shouted, startled her. Part of her regretted her words and wanted to be there to hug him, but the other part was still angry, sad and disappointed.
"I am… I'm…" He struggled to describe his emotions as he paced back and forth. "I'm confused… frustrated… angry… tired and scared! Because we keep learning new things about the virus, yet, we don't have straight answers or a solution. And I'm try to protect you because I don't want anything to happen to you, but you only think about yourself! You don't think about how I could expose you and then you could infect others, and there is already more than enough irresponsible people out there. This thing is killing lots of people and you just…" He groaned and exasperatedly reached to close his laptop, ending the call.
Her screen went black as soon as the call ended and all she could see was her reflection. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, then her face against her hands and started sobbing silently.
It wasn't a thing of who had it worse. Obviously, Shaun and Lea's day to day were very different because of their different careers, but anyone could also say they were lucky, because compared to others, they still had jobs, a place to live, food everyday and good health, among other things.
Everyone was dealing with different issues in different ways during lockdown; it was harder for some than for others, physically and mentally. But, even though Shaun looked like he had everything in his life under control, of course the whole thing was affecting him, too.
For him, not knowing something, was hard. He'd reach out to books or other sources of information to educate himself on topics he didn't know, but this thing was pretty much new to everyone, and there was no specific book that he could reach to for answers. He not only wanted answers about how to deal with the virus, how to stop it, etc, he also wanted answers about relationships. He was quiet new to the game, and on top of that, he had to deal with distance in a relationship.
They didn't live in different countries, not even different states, but the distance was still harsh.
He had been in love with Lea for years, probably since he met her, and he had to deal with different things to get to where they were; to the point where Lea admitted she loved him, too, and then to when they started dating.
He hadn't been as happy before.
Everyday, he would wake up and the first thing in his mind was Lea, followed by medical stuff and maybe a few other little things, but medicine wasn't the only important thing in his life anymore. The hospital wasn't the only place where he felt in control, at ease and happy anymore.
Though him and Lea were not living together, even leaving work, at the end of the day, was a happy moment because he knew could go to her apartment or she would go to his and they would spend time together, but the pandemic had ruined all that…
Even with how organized he's always been, waking up in the mornings to go to the hospital, became a bit of a struggle, due to how tired he was, but he had made a commitment to help with covid patients.
Shaun was still getting to learn new things and maybe do some interesting procedures, but the hospital wasn't a place that made him feel in control, at ease and happy anymore, at least not the way it used to.
Of course, people die at hospitals everyday, pandemic or not, but the amount that were leaving this earth because of the virus, was incredible, and more difficult to handle was the fact that no matter how hard everyone was trying to stop this thing and find a solution and do everything possible for the patients, nothing seemed enough.
All those years in med school and residency had not prepared anyone for what they were facing, and one of Shaun's main concerns was the health of his girlfriend and Dr. Glassman, because they were his family, and things were hard enough as they were, but on top of that, his girlfriend apparently didn't care about the risks of becoming sick if they were together during all the madness going around.
What was he supposed to do?
Frustratedly, Shaun dropped a journal on the desk after reading it as he paced around the room.
"What's going on with you?" Morgan asked from one of the sofas.
"He's been cranky these days, but aren't we all?" Claire said.
"This thing… I want it to be over…" Shaun said.
"We all want that, Shaun" Park replied.
"But you are extra cranky today. What happened?" Morgan asked.
Frowning slightly, Shaun let out a small sigh. "Lea and I… I think we had our first fight last night and now we're not talking"
"That explains his mood last night… But I thought you met with her for lunch for the first time in months?" Park said.
"What happened?" Claire asked.
"Yes… We went to the park and we ate and talked, but she wanted to kiss me and hug me and I told her we had to keep our distance because rules are rules. Then she went back to her place and I to mine. At night I called her, like most nights, but last night she was drunk and we argued"
His colleagues and friends listened attentively.
"Did she say why she was drinking?" Asked Claire.
"She said there were many reasons. The fact that I didn't want to kiss or hug her or how I don't talk to her much about my feelings lately. Her dad called to tell her they have covid, but they still think everything is just a scam from the government. She's sick of all this, and also, why not?, she said"
Morgan raised a brow and cocked her head to the side a bit, thinking Lea had some valid points and she herself had basically done the same some nights ago on her day off. No one in her family was sick, but still…
"I told her she was being childish and only thinking about herself, among other things, and I ended the call"
Now Claire was the one raising a brow and Park sighed.
"She misses you" Claire said. "She misses your company, human contact… I think it's safe to say that most of us do"
"I am trying to protect her. I don't want her to get covid" Shaun replied.
"Yeah… Maybe she's being a bit self-centered, but there are too many things going on in the world right now and there's only so much one can do to help. Members of her family have become sick and, for all we know, they could die. We don't know what's their state, I suppose you didn't ask, and she can't really help them. She would need to go all the way back to Hershey, and for that, she would need to quarantine for like two weeks before, and we know damn well that, with this disease, a lot can happen in that time… She's overwhelmed and has no one at the moment. Physically, I mean" Claire added.
"I am overwhelmed. She doesn't have to deal with sick, dying patients all day, everyday"
"Healthcare worker or not, we're all dealing with stuff and this thing has affected everyone one way or another, Shaun. I haven't gone back to Phoenix to be with my family because I'm trying to protect them, too, yet, my son got mad at me because I'm not going to make it to his graduation, even if it's just going to be an online event" Park said.
"Have you called or texted her since last night?" Claire asked Shaun and he shook his head.
"You're the only person she has here in the city, but right now, she must feel like she doesn't… We've all lost all or a lot of control over our lives because of all this, and control gives us some kind of sense of safety and keeps a lot of us sane, but right now, for the most part, things are uncertain, more than they were before all this" Morgan said.
Shaun looked at her briefly and she slightly raised a brow.
"Also, she must be dealing with the hangover right now, so maybe give her some time before you try talking to her or she might lash out at you again and you two might end up arguing one more time" Morgan added.
He looked away, sighing, then sat on a sofa and tried to focus on work again.
—
Meanwhile, Lea slept through her alarm so she ended up waking up a bit later than usual.
Got out of bed with a headache and closed her curtains because the light bothered her; checked her phone and sighed thinking about the previous day. There were no messages or missed calls from Shaun, which hurt a bit, but she had some other things to focus on.
She called her dad to ask how they were, then, a bit nervous and reluctant, she called her brother to check on him, as well, and to come up with a plan so they could somehow keep an eye on their parents.
To Lea's surprise, her brother was in a much better mood than her and they even apologized to each other for what happened the last time she was in Hershey.
Eventually, Lea started work at home and tried to focus on it, but between thinking about her parents well being, her boyfriend and the fact that she felt like she could barely keep her eyes open, her throat felt weird, and her headache wasn't going away even after two Advils, she had to log out earlier than normal, then took a nap, but before that, she texted Shaun.
"Sorry about last night"
He quickly read her text but couldn't answer at the time because he was about to enter the OR.
Later, that night, when he got back home, he replied to her message.
"I'm in my apartment now, do you want to talk? I'm on my laptop."
Lea read his text and quickly went to the bathroom, looked at herself in the mirror and fixed her hair a bit, since it was a little messy from the nap she had taken earlier, then she walked out and sat by her kitchen island, opened her laptop and called him.
"Hello" Shaun said when he answered the video call.
"Hi" She smiled softly.
"Are you okay?"
"I am" She nodded slightly. "I uhm… I'm sorry about last night, I just…"
"Park, Morgan and Claire say we are all struggling somehow"
—Thank heavens for his friends…— She thought, then nodded again, pressing her lips together.
"Yeah… I mean, I know I have it so good compared to others out there but…" She shrugged one of her shoulders "It gets you, one way or another…"
Shaun nodded and she subtly cleared her throat.
"Give me a minute…" She got up and walked to the sink, grabbed a glass and poured some water in it, then drank some before walking back to the island and sat again in front of her computer, placing the glass next to it.
"Have you talked to your parents?" Shaun asked.
Lea told him about the calls she had with her dad and her brother, Donnie, and how he had been the one who took them to a testing site when they were refusing to get tested even though their symptoms were obvious, then she told Shaun about how apparently Donnie and her had made peace after what had happened in Hershey, which was good, but she was worried about her whole family.
"I wish I could be there with you" He said after she finished talking.
"Me too" She said and sighed, trying not to get emotional.
"My patient's wife says that, talking to her husband through video calls and listening to songs that remind them of moments they spent together, helps them miss each other a little less"
"It does help a little" She nodded then looked to the side and moved her arm to sneeze against her elbow.
"Bless you" Shaun said.
"Thank you… I uh…" She blinked a few times after sneezing, seeing tiny lights flashing around her, then added "I sometimes look at the photos or little videos of you and us that I have on my phone. Like the ones we took in San Francisco"
"Oh" He nodded and smiled a bit. "I watch the video you sent me"
Lea laughed "Of course you do…"
As the night went on, each ordered something to eat and kept on talking about happy memories they had as they enjoyed dinner.
The next day, Lea woke up feeling a bit clammy and her throat was still bothering her; it felt like there was sand on it every time she swallowed and it also felt swollen. She was also tired, feeling like she hadn't slept at all and had run a marathon the previous day…
Still laying on her bed, she reached for her phone and checked the time first. She had slept way past her alarm again and there were a couple message notifications.
"I had to go to work extra early today so we won't be able to talk this morning, but hopefully we will be able to talk later. I love you." From Shaun, at 7 a.m
"Where are you? The meeting is about to start" From her boss, at 9 a.m
She sighed, then replied to Shaun with a simple "I love you too" and called her boss, asking for the day off because she didn't feel well.
After that, she put her phone down next to her and closed her eyes, falling back into a light sleep, but eventually, her eyes opened again and she panicked a little…
A hangover had never lasted more than a few hours or a day for her, but the day before, even after some ibuprofen, she still felt off, and that morning, she felt worse…
—What are covid-19 symptoms and how soon do they appear?— She thought as she also made a mental record of what she felt like since the day before and even the one before that.
—Maybe Shaun was right… He's going to be so angry if I have covid…—
"Dammit…" She muttered and grabbed her phone again, then began to search about the new virus.
Eventually, even more panicked after what she read, she got out of bed with a mild headache and looked around for a thermometer, finding one in a drawer that she hardly ever touches.
—Does it even work?— She wondered, walked to the bathroom to clean it, then turned it on.
The thermometer lit up with a beep, then she put it in her mouth and waited for it to beep again.
"37.5/99.5" She said, looking at the thermometer after pulling it out of her mouth. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She went back to her bed and grabbed her phone, but right before searching again, she thought:
—You literally have a surgeon as a boyfriend and a nurse as a friend, why are you searching online?… If I tell Shaun I think I might have covid, he's going to flip, but then, Sarah will probably worry too, and they already have enough on their plates…—
Sighing, Lea stared at her phone for a moment, contemplating her options, then decided not to call any of them and continued consulting Dr. Google.
In the end, just to be sure, she went out to the nearest testing site…
While standing in line, Shaun called her right before his lunch break, to ask if she wanted to have a video call while eating lunch together, but she ignored the call.
If she had answered, with his attention to detail, he would have noticed she was outside and would have asked what she was doing.
She didn't have the guts to tell him she was at a covid testing site, so she just sent him to voicemail and continued walking in line until it was her turn.
Her rapid test was negative but had to wait for the results of the PCR test.
She went back home a bit more relaxed, but hoped her other results would come back negative, as well, and wondered if she should tell anything to her boyfriend.
—He's going to realize you're sick when he sees you, he's not stupid. He's a doctor, a damn good one. You can't hide this kind of thing from him…— She told herself in her mind.
The rest of the day, she spent it in bed, ignored another call from her boyfriend, took several small naps, had a runny nose, drank several cups of tea to soothe her throat and she just generally felt worse, but that night, after work, Shaun called her again.
Sitting on her bed with yet another cup of tea, she looked at her phone and sighed, just knowing she was going to have to tell him.
"Hello, are you okay?" Shaun asked as soon as she answered the call and held the phone in front of her so he could see her.
"I'm…" She sighed again and just let him see the obvious. "I'm sorry I didn't answer earlier… I haven't felt very well since yesterday and I went out to a testing site. The rapid test was negative, but…"
"I told you!" He cut her off, immediately becoming anxious, slightly ruffling his hair with his hand as he, enraged, started to pace back and forth in his living room.
—Oh God… Here we go…—
"I know but…"
"NO, I told you we shouldn't have met. We shouldn't have gone to the park. And rapid tests have a high percentage of false negatives. It could have been a faulty test, so we don't know for sure if it's not covid…"
"I know and they know, too! That's why they also did the other test, but I have to wait for the results of that one… Shaun, I'm fine, it's just my throat the one that's been bothering me, mainly, but I don't exactly have a cough. I've felt tired most of the day and I've had a runny nose, but I don't really have a fever. My chest doesn't hurt, I don't have a headache anymore and I can still smell and taste things. I'm fine"
"My patient was breathing fine when he first came to the hospital, yet, his x-ray showed he clearly had covid-19, but I sent him home because he was okay, then it progressed, he came back and his O2 sat was low even though he didn't feel too bad…"
"Is he okay now?"
"No! He got worse. Now he's on a ventilator and lost a foot today! And all because his wife, who's an essential worker, visited him. She's probably the one who posed him! The government shouldn't have eased up the restrictions. They think things are getting better because they want everything to go back to normal, but they are wrong! Nothing is better, it's getting worse! We shouldn't have met" He shook his head. "We shouldn't have gone to the park. I told you. I told you. We…"
"Okay, Shaun, look at me…" She tried to stop him as he was still pacing around, by then, holding the phone down, swinging it as he walked, but she could hear him breathing heavier than before and he kept repeating the last 3 sentences. "Shaun, please…" She added, but he kept mumbling things. "SHAUN, look at me!"
Startling him, he snapped out of the sort of trance he had put himself into and moved the phone back to his face to look at her. His eyes were teary and it broke her heart to see him like that.
Lea swallowed painfully and sighed as they looked at each other.
"Sit down, please" She said and he moved to sit on his sofa, then she added:
"Just like you worry about me, I worry about you, too, every day… You think I don't know nurses, doctors and other personnel are getting sick and dying, too? You think I was fucking happy when you told me you were going to volunteer? …I didn't want to tell you that I'm sick because I was afraid you'd get like this, but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to ignore you for as long as it lasts. You were going to realize or find out eventually… But I worry about you, too. I'm not a doctor, but every time we talk, I look at you, trying to figure out if you really are okay. I exchange messages with Park sometimes, asking him if you really are okay, because I know you won't tell me if you're not! I know you don't tell me a lot of what's really going on because you don't want me to worry or something, but I do worry, Shaun… It scares me to think I could have this thing and die. It scares me that my family could die, and it scares the hell out of me that you could get it and die, too!"
A tear ran down both of their cheeks as they keep looking at each other through their phones.
"I miss you… and not just the sex part…" Shaun admitted.
"I miss you, too… a lot… And I'm sorry… Maybe you're right. Maybe we shouldn't have gone to the park. But if I do have covid, maybe it wasn't because of you. I could have got it from somewhere else; the supermarket or who knows… Don't put this on you, please. It's probably just a cold…"
Shaun sighed again and looked away, unable to not feel worried about his girlfriend's well being and, deep inside, hoping she was right about it being just a cold instead of covid.
"We'll get over this. We'll be fine and hopefully we'll be able to be together again soon" Lea added.
The next day, first thing in the morning, Shaun called the drugstore and ordered a few over the counter meds but gave them Lea's address so they would deliver them to her, and in the afternoon, he sent her food and checked on her via messages at every opportunity he had while at work. He did the same for a couple more days until she got better. So, even if they were apart, he was still there, taking care of her, even when they found out that what she had, hadn't been covid but just a cold…
By the time Lea got better, she told herself that she couldn't flop down like she had, days before, plus there really was nothing she could do to change the situation, because no one knew how long the pandemic was going to last.
Restrictions were placed again and Shaun was right, things were not getting better, it was the opposite. So, in order to keep her mind busy and sane, she started doing yoga at home, got a few books and read them, signed up for an online course, kept in contact with her parents, and when her grandma was much better, she taught her how to cook a few other recipes through video calls and, on the nights that Shaun was home, she would deliver some of that food to his apartment…
The first time, Shaun refused to receive such food because he was still afraid of exposing Lea to the virus and also told her not to leave the container on the floor because the floor was probably too contaminated, but Lea didn't give up so easy
She left his apartment, went to the nearest store, bought small foldable table and a couple other things, then drove back to Shaun's apartment and, right outside his door, she unfolded the table, sprayed it all with disinfectant, then placed the food container there and walked away, hiding in the corner of the hallway.
"Open your door, jackass" She texted him.
"I already told you I won't do that. Go home, Lea… Also, the last time you called me that, you were very angry at me. Are you that angry at me again for not opening the door and not accepting your food?"
"I'm little annoyed, but I'm not angry. Nonna Dilallo would be disappointed if I told her, though… And by the way, I'm not even there anymore, just open you door!"
Shaun hesitated for a minute then got up from the sofa, grabbed a mask and put it on, then walked to the door and opened it slightly. He saw the table with the container on it and opened the door some more, peeked his head out and suspiciously looked to both sides of the hallway.
He took the container, moved the table to the side, then got back into his apartment and told Park about what just happened.
Meanwhile, Lea, who saw everything from her hiding spot, grinned proudly and walked out to her car.
"There's enough food for you and Park in the container. Enjoy… asshat 😉" She texted him again, then drove back to her place.
Shaun read the message and wondered how she had known that he had opened the door and taken the container if she supposedly wasn't there anymore…
He then re-read the message, trying to solve the mystery, but, the last word, it took his memory all the way back to the moment Lea called him an asshat and everything else that happened that day.
He smiled a little and simply stood by the kitchen, just remembering, while Park pulled out a couple plates from the cupboard.
"Are you okay?" Park asked, looking at his friend as he was just standing there, very still.
Eventually, Shaun looked back at his phone and replied to Lea's message.
"Thanks, but your food is not even that good anyway. Maybe Park will like it more than I do. 😉"
Grinning triumphantly to himself, he pushed his phone back into his pocket, then moved to pull out a couple of forks from a drawer while his roommate watched him with an eyebrow arched up.
"I see…" Park muttered and chuckled with a slight shake of his head, then opened the food container and placed it inside the microwave.
Right before sitting to eat, Shaun made a sign on a piece of paper and took it outside, leaving it on the table Lea had brought.
The sign read: PROPERTY OF SHAUN MURPHY AND LEA DILALLO. DO NOT TAKE AWAY.
Just in case anyone in the building thought the table was out there for someone to take for free.
—
After Lea parked her car, she grabbed her phone from the seat, where she had left it, and checked it, then snorted amusedly as soon as she read Shaun's reply and, giggling, she got out of the car, then bit her lower lip and smirked to herself as she walked to her apartment…
And that's how days and a few more months went by.
Apart from cooking her grandma's food along with her though video calls, she also tried to cook other things, among those, pancakes.
Lea mastered chocolate chip pancakes; Shaun's favorite.
Who knows how many recipes she messed up and how many samples she delivered to Shaun so he would try them, but at least it gave them something to talk about every morning or night, something that wasn't work or world news related….
Time flew, and when she realized, it was October.
She had cooked a lot, read a lot, done a few small online courses, kept in touch with family and friends, watched shows and movies alone and with her boyfriend or her best friend, etc, like many others during the still ongoing lockdown.
But holidays were right around the corner and she didn't want to be alone.
Angst hit again and she didn't want to feel the way she felt at the beginning of the pandemic, so she took a deep breath and analyzed her options.
Things in Santa Clara started to look a little bright, but it was uncertain whether they would continue like that on not, because apparently, cases were slowly on the raise again.
She could go back to Hershey to be with her family and work from there for a while, but, even though her relationship with them was somewhat good again, Lea wasn't sure that spending the holidays with them was what she wanted, so her other option was her boyfriend… She liked that option better, but it basically meant having to move back in with him, at least temporarily, but she didn't know if their relationship was up to that, yet.
Technically, they had been dating for months, but in reality, they had properly been together for only a month. A month before the world went mad. And if she tried to pitch the idea to Shaun, he was probably going to outrightly reject it.
But what if she didn't actually give him the option to think about it? Like when everything started and he didn't even ask her what she wanted to do before he went and told Park that he could move in with him…
—Would it be too overwhelming for him and trigger a meltdown?— She thought while biting her lower lip and sighed…
She knew damn well that he was only trying to keep her safe.
Her being healthy and exposing herself the least possible to the virus, in a way, kept him sane. It was one less thing that he had to worry about.
But she missed him and knew that he missed her, too.
Was she willing to risk her physical health AND his mental health just to satisfy her whim of not wanting to be alone over the holidays?