My goal with this fanfic is mostly to explore themes that the original novels have not delved into yet. As the novels are still on-going there will most likely be more overlaps as time goes on, but that's why the official adult AU appealed so much to me. The conditions really are ripe for slight changes to have larger consequences. I hope that everyone can appreciate both the official novels and this fanfic in their own way.

Return Ticket

"You didn't need to come with me."

That was the first thing Adachi had said to me since we went on our way. Although she was staring rigidly forward for once, I could not feel relieved about it. It was my opinion that she had changed too much in just a few hours. Her feet pushed into the pedals as if she was trying to kick them away from herself forcefully and her hands were gripping the bike handles tightly enough for her knuckles to turn white. The clear air around us was so cold that I felt a shiver all over even with my multi-layered outfit and scarf, but Adachi wasn't even wearing gloves. Just how did she ignore the freezing sting on her fingers?

It must have been the same unknown hard core that made her expression so pale and emotionless. Something inside Adachi was truly wrong. It sure sounded melodramatic when I put it that way, but anyone seeing her face when she unlocked her bike back at my house would have agreed. It was not comparable to the times I saw her coldly staring at her watch back before we spoke to each other at the station. It was not even that malicious glimpse of jealousy I had noticed before when we met Hino.

This was a part of Adachi that I could not understand at all.

"Maybe you're right. Should still be easier to figure out what we can use with the two of us there together." I stressed the last part as I tightened my hold on her shoulders. Sitting on the back of her bicycle was usually a lot more thrilling, in more ways than one. I still vividly remembered when she had looked at my face for a worryingly long distance during that ride. This time I could only cling to her hoping she would notice my presence at all.

We had been riding for a while now and the urban neighborhood had become more rural. There were fewer houses as time went on and instead the labyrinthine streets and alleys were quickly replaced with stretches of nature and meadows. There was probably also farmland and the like around here, but today I didn't have the mindset to familiarize myself with the local ecology. Just today.

As we rode down a straight street for several minutes a single house became visible on the right side of pavement. It stood… lonely, amidst the other family homes nearby. This building was slightly modern, but also didn't seem exactly new. Shadow was thrown over the façade by the drifting clouds above.

This was Adachi's old home.

"Huh?" I nearly lost grip on my comb after hearing mom's words.

"You need to scrub your ears more carefully. You will end up clogging up your brain like tha-"

"What do you mean she left?" I interrupted her typical sarcasm and just pushed past her.

In two long steps I was out of the hallway and walked towards the door. It was still slightly ajar, which only made me hurry even more. I slipped two fingers into the slit and pushed it back open. Somehow I had managed to put on my trusty slippers without stopping and moved into the windy outside world. After being glued to the warm living room for so long this wind really was like prickly needles across my skin.

Our garden was nothing much to look at, but dad did take care of it enough for me to easily pass through. The last thing I needed was to trip and get leaves all over my hair. That kind of slapstick comedy routine was way too cliché for someone with my hairstyle.

When I turned the corner of the house I caught a glimpse of dark silky hair first. Adachi really was already unlocking her bike and had her back turned to me. Her back seemed strangely long and curved, like she was curling up. Before I could make myself noticed she hissed in pain after getting her finger stuck between the bike and its lock. She audibly grinded her teeth together and then pushed the key into the lock with more force until it snapped open with a loud click.

"Doesn't that hurt?" I asked with a raised brow as Adachi rubbed her red fingers.

"Shima-?!" She jumped and hid her hands behind her back. Same old Adachi.

"Was mom talking your ear off so bad that you had to escape with nothing but your clothes on you?" I put a hand on my waist and lowered the comb I was still holding.

Only now had I realized that Adachi wasn't carrying any of her luggage on her or the bike's backrest. Considering that she had dragged along half her belongings for this sleepover I had to really wonder where she had fastened it all to on her ride here. Imagining Adachi riding over with a wobbly tower of bags was both amusing and worrying. This did mean, however, that she would have to return for her stuff. Can't deny that I felt a sense of relief wash over me right there.

"N-no, your mother was very helpful." She responded mechanically and seemed to rub her throbbing fingers nervously.

"Then where are you going? Left the stove on?" Now that my initial fears (whatever they were) had been alleviated I couldn't stop myself from teasing her again. I expected Adachi to pout and call me mean or something equally adorable, but instead…

"I need to check something. I will get my stuff tomorrow if that isn't too inconvenient for you."

"Why so formal? I mean, sure." I rubbed my head and my mouth became slightly wry. Adachi's downturned eyes and general mood made it almost seem like she was hiding something from me. She totally was. "If there is something wrong you can tell me. If we are going to move in together I should probably show you my reliable side."

"Shimamura, I am fine." She said this with a stiff expression and gave me a single look.

"Then you can tell me where you are going."

For a moment I thought she would shake her head and just leave. The look in her eyes told me she wanted to do just that. It's not like I had mastered telepathy or anything, but when it came to Adachi I could at least tell when she wanted to be anywhere else. The only question was where the anywhere would be.

"I'm going to visit my… mother." She pressed out with great effort.

"Is she alright?" Worry took grip of my heart again. An emergency?

"There is nothing wrong with her health." She said with a click of her tongue and finally grabbed her bike by the handle. "I just need to make sure of a few things back at her house." And with that she pushed her bicycle past me and made her way towards the garden fence that would lead her to the side entrance of the building.

Is it possible to see people's auras? Their chakras? Is that what they call it? I honestly knew next to nothing about esoteric things beyond the occasional program I had seen on TV. I vaguely remembered letting my classmates in high school read my fortune with tarot cards, but they only told me unremarkable average things that didn't matter one way or another. I'm pretty sure there was no divinitation method out there that could have warned me of this strange future I was headed for. A future where I could claim to know Adachi as well as nobody else in the world did.

But I quite liked the idea of a fate that the cards couldn't show.

"Can I come along?"

Adachi stopped her feet and looked over her shoulder like a surprised child, eyes wide and in wonder.

"But…"

"You got to see my mom embarrass me already, so it's only fair that I meet yours as well." I declared with a strange smile curling up my lips.

Adachi furrowed her brows. She had not seen that coming and I wouldn't give her time to think about it either! I had already gone back inside to dress warmly for the trip.

I jumped off the bike first and stretched my legs a little. Rubbing my butt would have been a bit too inelegant as people kept telling me and the constant reminders had taken their toll on my subconscious. I checked out the front of the house while Adachi locked her bicycle near the entrance. As I had gathered from afar it was very modern. It was also pretty large, enough for a large family. I knew fairly little about Adachi's family situation, but from what mom told me before I left she had known her mother for a while. Why was I the last to find out about that? It didn't seem fair.

I glanced towards Adachi who had not moved a single facial muscle in who knows how long. It was like her skin had become iron and her eyes frozen gems. I doubted that it was due to the cold. If she was gonna act like this the entire time I could not imagine that she was thrilled about coming here. Shocker, I know.

"She is home, right?" I asked doubtfully as I looked to the windows which had all been covered in curtains. It wasn't late enough to turn on the lights yet, but it couldn't have been anything but pitch-black inside like this.

"She said she would return before I arrive." Adachi replied curtly and put her hand to the doorbell. It took not even three seconds for the door to get audibly unlocked. As if we had been expected or something.

I braced myself internally. It may have been just a normal house, Adachi's old home, but something about the atmosphere reminded me of those horror movies where newlyweds moved into a place far-off that had suspiciously cheap property prices and which got resold many times in quick succession due to the sudden disappearance of the owners.

Contrary to my delusions, we were greeted not by a grim, shady mansion master, but rather by a well-dressed middle-aged woman whose sharp eyes were more deadly than any possessed armor's cursed sword. That being said, she sure was pretty. Around my mother's age probably, but a lot more refined. Also, this was beyond any doubt, she was Adachi's mother. If Adachi suddenly aged about two decades she would look exactly like her down to the last hair. If cloning a sheep was possible, why not an Adachi?

She had cut me down with her eyes first, but they immediately got stuck to her daughter and stayed there, firmly. Adachi returned that gaze with twice as much frost on each eyelash.

"You are early." That was indeed the first thing the woman said to us.

If you predicted Adachi to respond snidely or at all, you would have lost that bet. She merely glared the woman down (she was ever so slightly taller than her) and didn't speak a word. In fact if there was a way to say less than nothing, I would assume the dictionary was currently losing words by the page. The strain in the air was worse than solid gum getting pulled between your hand and your mouth.

"You can come inside." Finally, after way too much painful tension, the woman invited us in. No moment sooner than the words had been spoken did she turn back inside. Her cold shoulder was apparently inviting us into her home.

I raised a brow and sighed at this welcome. It was not my place to feel disappointed, but being ignored completely was something I expected from my workplace, not Adachi's closest family. Maybe I had been spoiled by her daughter's constant attention… wow, that was an embarrassing thought.

The daughter in question was surprisingly not going inside yet. Had her shoes frozen to the cold marble steps already? Maybe she was afraid of entering. The complex expression on her face just didn't tell me anything at all. All I knew was that it didn't suit her.

"Phew, I am freeeezing~" I said loudly and rubbed my hands for extra effect. That finally snapped her out of her solid state of mind and her expression started flowing again. It was not a warm stream, but her blood must have resumed pumping as she grabbed my hand and carefully drew me into the house. Her hand felt stiff, but I was secretly glad she lent it to me. Not exactly because I needed her to thaw me out, but because I could tell that she was relying on me, if only a little.

The inside of the hallway was well maintained, not a speck of dust. Everything around the place was tasteful and average. This looked like the home you would have seen in pretty much any brochure of the suburbs. The entrance and hallway were the lifeblood of the home, the only area that everyone would touch and move through. Consequently every housewife knew that this was what gave the most important first impression, next to the bathroom and the living room. This meant that Adachi's mother was always ready for visitors at least. Reading those dusty magazines in the restroom at work finally paid off.

Obviously this place was familiar to Adachi herself, but she didn't move like it was. Her steps weren't determined, but rather hesitant. She really didn't like being here. It was so obvious that I had to squeeze her hand a little to cheer her up.

In the living room we were already expected and strangely for someone complaining about our early arrival, the lady of the house had already prepared tea and other refreshments on the table. An exemplary host, hm?

"Please sit down and drink. It's very cold today." This time things were flipped on their head and she addressed me directly while completely ignoring her daughter.

I suppressed a shrug and took a seat at her table. The tea definitely seemed incredibly appealing to me right now. Just as I was about to grab the cup I was caught off-guard by the sound of footsteps. I hastily turned my head and only saw Adachi's retreating back rising up the stairs. That was a shock and I hadn't even heard them engage in a single exchange to get to this result. Adachi's mother sighed lightly and put her own cup to her red lips. The lipstick was covering the edge immediately.

What was one even supposed to say here? I could have figured from Adachi's attitude before, but this was even worse than expected. Whatever their history was, this family was in a precarious situation. In hindsight it didn't come as much of a surprise as I thought. Adachi never talked about her family and she lived alone ever since she started working. I had interpreted that as her admirable desire for independence and maybe that was part of it… But now it seemed different.

Had Adachi been… running away? From here? From her?

"Are you not going to introduce yourself?" She asked sternly.

"I am Hougetsu Shimamura, Adachi's friend." I complied easily. Introductions didn't cost me anything and I was not quite sure which of the two was right or wrong. Let alone if there even was such a thing here.

"Yoshika's daughter." She acknowledged with another sip. Was that an approving sip or a disgruntled one? With my mother's personality I could not even imagine how they had ever come to know each other. Or were still be on speaking terms. Honestly, when mom said they were friends I just assumed that was one of her delusions. "You resemble your mother."

"I hope not too much." I replied drily.

And that was when the impossible happened… Adachi's mother smirked. If I was a poet I would have thrown out a limerick to describe its beauty. Instead I could only admit that my heart skipped the tiniest beat. I certainly was reminded where Adachi got her good looks from. That being said, I was not a fan of too much make-up and preferred her daughter's natural look. Something I would keep to myself forever.

"My name is Atsuka Adachi." Polite as can be, she actually introduced herself as well. "Yoshika has told me that you and Sakura met a while ago and now want to move in together near the bridge close to the indoor pool. It's a good location, a friend of mine owns the jewelry store around there. She says the neighbors are kind and the rent is affordable."

"Seriously?" I was impressed. Not only by how well connected this woman was, but also by how much my mother had managed to blab about our plans in just a day. Most importantly though, despite appearances, Ms. Adachi seemed really invested into this. And yet she had made no attempt to stop Adachi from walking off.

"Sakura said she wanted to take a look at a few old things I don't need anymore. You can take whatever you want, my old provider from the storage company may also sell a few things at a discount. Strictly under the table."

"Am I becoming a criminal as soon as I move out from home?" I couldn't contain that quip and downed the rest of my tea.

"It's not illegal." She said sharply, but also refilled my tea. This woman was a master of deceptive tone. "You share your mother's sense of humor I see."

Maybe that woman really was rubbing off on me, but humor was the last thing people associated with me. Communication between me and the average person tended to stick to greetings and goodbyes with the occasional yawn. Being funny was quite exhausting and I would rather use that energy to sleep more. My streak for teasing had also only been awakened recently again, because of…

"I came to help Adachi with the sorting, so I should probably finish my tea." I said seriously and blew on the hot liquid. I wasn't as uncomfortable with this conversation as I initially expected, but the worry for Adachi had been clawing into me for a while now.

"That child was always like this." Ms. Adachi suddenly said with exasperation in her voice.

"Really? She never even spoke to you?" I felt something unexpectedly sharp and hot stab out of my chest, causing my words to have more edge than intended.

Atsuka Adachi looked at me as if this was the first time she had really seen me. Our gazes met in the middle and brushed against each other. If she was mad at my rude remark she didn't show it. Unlike Adachi she could keep her emotions in check quite well. Just like with Adachi there was a cold beauty to her glare, though.

"My words don't reach her. She stopped responding a long time ago." She said. Pure honesty.

"I don't understand that." I replied with equal honesty.

"If she speaks to you then you understand more than I can." She pushed a finger along the rim of her cup and made a hollow sound with it. "I will not force myself into her life and she has no need to be part of mine."

Was this what they had decided? I couldn't fathom it at all. That seemed way too lonely to me. It could have been just Ms. Adachi's perspective, so I wasn't entirely sure yet. I wouldn't figure anything out by asking her, that was all I could gather. We had no connection aside from our family members. Second degree acquaintances. No matter how many cups I drank at this table I doubted I would ever get along with this woman. Being able to tell when I had no compatibility with someone was one of my few strong suits.

Right now we were all in the same house, but it was more like different worlds. This place really didn't feel like a home.

"Thanks for the tea. I'm going to look for Adachi."

"Go ahead." She crossed her legs and closed her eyes. Such an elegant pose was wasted on me.

The first floor was dark as expected. Nobody had taken the time to open the curtains on the windows and the lights were off. Apparently Adachi had night vision, because I seriously could not find my way to any of the doors without holding onto the walls. I'd rather not stumble into anybody's bedroom, even if there didn't seem to be anyone else at home. Just as I had figured, Ms. Adachi lived alone. Once they had been two, now…

I pushed open the only door from which a gleam of light could be seen escaping the keyhole. There was no eligible sign on it, so I was still just making a random plunge into the unknown. The door creaked open really loudly, but what I found inside was not a study or some storage room. This was a place without any life. Dust covered the walls, the shelves and even the bed. Untouched for years, the floor had gained a silvery sheen.

With the exception of several footsteps left by socks which converged at the window.

There she stood, pressing her hand against the cold glass with a forlorn look. I had called Ms. Adachi beautiful earlier, but this truly was a scene right out of a painting or one of those staged photos in exhibits. Adachi's silhouette was contrasting with the grey sky outside and her shining eyes had turned as blurry as the first drops of rain.

How long had she been standing there? It didn't seem like she had moved anything in here, so she could only have looked around at most. I would have liked to survey the room myself, but due to unexpected malfunction my eyes could not tear themselves from Adachi. Very strange.

"It's still the same." She said with a dry throat.

I assumed she was referring to the incredibly dusty room that I now guessed to have been exactly in the same arrangement five years ago. Meaning this was most likely Adachi's old room. My uncooperative eyes lost their nearly gravitational focus on the woman before me and allowed me to take a tiny look around. This place was Spartan, definitely, but this was Adachi after all. Compared to the spread across her current apartment, I would even have said that this room was better furnished and more densely packed.

Of course this meant she had taken absolutely nothing with her when she left this house. Nothing at all. This dusty relic of the past was exactly as high school Adachi had left it behind. I put a hand to the bed covers and looked at the dark blue pattern below the dust. The clock on the wall had long since died, as no battery could last that long. I had to wonder whether the time it had stopped at had some cosmic significance. Lastly there was an old computer hidden under the desk. The monitor was small and didn't give me the impression that it had seen much use even when this place still had been alive.

"Hey, Sakura."

"Yeah?"

"Is the view that good?"

The hand on the window seemed to shiver lightly and Adachi swallowed a lump.

"I hate it."

"Thought so." I muttered and then pulled Adachi away from the window. Away from that terribly pitiful world and towards a place that would obfuscate it completely.

We sat on her old bed and I pressed her head into my chest. It was not like I had intended to do it, but we naturally gravitated to each other like that. Adachi's face was hidden in my sweater and my arms were keeping her there with a tight hug. I had no idea what she felt, I could not understand. Not yet.

But I knew what it was like to seek an escape. To embrace the comfort of darkness and dreams. Adachi was not the type who could just sleep her worries away, she was not like me. I knew that this wasn't a solution at all. So what? The hot tears needed somewhere to go, might as well have been my chest. Years' worth of tears were flowing out of her all at once, as if someone had pulled the plug from a sink. The heat made me all the more aware that Adachi was here and that I was with her. The room was cold and dead, but she was still alive. The heart of this place had moved with her and it would move again when she came with me.

Adachi's sobbing was quiet, as if she was ashamed of letting me hear her. I was not good at comforting people, so I could only keep her pressed against me. Rubbing her back or stroking her hair didn't even cross my mind at that point, much to my chagrin. Nonetheless, it seemed to help. The frustration that I could not pinpoint and the emotions she had suppressed were all flowing out of her and after an indiscernible amount time she finally separated from my chest. Her eyes were red and swollen and she sniffed her nose a few times. Her cheeks were red as well, although probably for different reasons.

"You are warm Shimamura."

"Thanks to you." I replied quietly. Of course I was referring to my moist and heated sweater. "Please tell me you feel better."

"Y-yes. That was really pathetic of me." She bit her lip and now fully separated from me.

I felt a twinge of disappointment. Shaking that irrational sensation away, I sucked in the dusty air and closed my eyes. There was no doubt that Adachi was fidgeting and wobbling on the bed. If I had to take a guess, she was probably anxious whether I would ask her to explain why she had suddenly cried like that. This really was way too awkward.

"You have a lot of books here; we should take some to our place. It will be a good look when we invite guests." I pointed at the highest shelf layer with lots of enthusiasm.

Adachi's eyes widened. I hope she understood my intention right then. Whatever may have been eating her up inside, as long as she felt better I would not inquire about it. This seemed to be a matter that an outsider couldn't just get into, so I would do nothing of the sort. Some may have considered that perspective cold and I had no arguments to the contrary. When I saw relief wash over Adachi's face I couldn't feel much guilt over it though.

"You want to impress people with old school books?" She replied deadpan.

"This place is too dusty!" I retorted with red cheeks. Obviously I couldn't read the titles with that layer of gray over the spines!

My moment of embarrasment tickled a chuckle out of my companion. Being laughed at was not so bad compared to the alternative.

"I didn't think I would ever see this place again and I still don't want to take any of it with me." Adachi admitted. "But this was the first time…"

She placed her hand on top of mine stealthily.

"…this was the first time I laughed in this room. You really are special Shimamura."

Ah.

I felt the warmth of her hand on mine.

And once again I was made aware of how much I adored the woman called Sakura Adachi. The woman who could just tell me straight to my face that I was special. Someone who could be delighted just because I had let her cry against me or made a fool of myself in front of her.

This warmth spread from our connection to my cheeks and my mind. A numbing sensation that made me so infinitely glad. Giving this emotion a name would probably change everything. I just didn't know how. The unknown was scary, if not slightly attractive. But for now I enjoyed what we had without worrying about what we could gain or lose.

This house did not feel like a home, but it was what gave me Adachi and for that alone it had my gratitude.