PROLOGUE
The Joker furiously kicked a decrepit piece of wooden furniture. Foiled again, but not by Batman, oh no. If Bats had stopped him, it wouldn't be much of an issue. But Bats was too busy to pay attention to him. Too busy. Instead it was the sidekicks. Joker thought he had made it clear to Batman a few years ago that it was their game. No one else's. But a year or so later and a new Robin filled the spot Joker emptied. And even though Batgirl wasn't flapping about, she ended up being replaced by a Batwoman. The sheer audacity made Joker gag.
"Harley?" Joker screamed. No answer. He shouted louder. Still silence. He looked around and saw nothing. Joker grumbled, "Oh right, with Ivy." He walked over to a couch that was falling apart and turned on his relic of a television. It wasn't much but it got the job done. Flipping through the channels he stopped at the local Gotham News Broadcast. Vikki Vale was on, she still had her job despite Joker nearly blasting her out of the sky a while back. He smiled at the memory; almost got one over on Batman that day, nearly occupied him long enough for the city to fill with happy gas while the bombs at City Hall and Gotham PD were ticking. What was she babbling on about now? He turned up the volume.
"Standing behind me are the members of the Justice League who just returned –" Joker tuned her out as he saw in the background something he didn't like. Oh no, he didn't like it one bit. Bad enough that the Justice Losers kept Batman from him, but now this? It must be fixed! But how? It wasn't going to be easy. A few weeks of planning at most, maybe a month of…wait a minute, what day was it? He glanced at the calendar in the corner of the TV. So close? How had he not noticed? Oh then of course the next thing would need to be big! It was a special day after all. It was their day. Batman wouldn't miss it, he never missed it. Not in all the years they traded blows and laughed at each other. It was their day. Yet…
Yet Joker knew the truth. It was as plain as anyone could see it when they cared to look. He was no longer Batman's priority. Chances were that Batman probably forgot the whole thing. Oh, it made Joker mad. He'd rectify this wrong. But how? He stared at the Justice Losers in the background of the newscast. He grinned widely. It was time to call in favors and hang embarrassing secrets over some peoples' heads. The Joker laughed as the plan unfolded in his brilliant mind. He laughed and laughed, positively giddy over the whole affair.
*/*/*
Bruce Wayne rose gently from his sheets and looked over to the other side of his bed. His companion was nowhere to be seen, but he heard the running water of his shower. Thinking on the matter, Bruce decided against joining her and instead opted to head downstairs for breakfast. Putting on his robe over his pajamas, he left the bedroom and descended down the stairs to the kitchen, where he saw Tim hunched over some textbooks and pancakes.
"Bacon, sir?" Alfred asked without glancing in his direction.
"Three strips, Alfred, if you please," Bruce responded as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Someone's in a good mood," Tim mused. Bruce looked over with an eyebrow raised.
"Ready for the finals next month?"
"Just about, though my grades are good enough that I'll graduate even if I do mediocre on them."
"And Master Bruce has already ensured that he will be undisturbed on that wonderful day," Alfred said, as though he hadn't said the same words several times over the last few days. "Speaking of which, sir, I am inclined to remind you of the Children's Hospital Charity Fund later tonight."
"Oh? Am I your plus one?" a smooth, elegant voice asked from the hallway's entry to the kitchen. Turning to see the woman known as Diana of Themyscira in an oversized black t-shirt covering most of her still-damp body and her silky, onyx hair wrapped up in a towel, Bruce smiled. He couldn't be certain that Diana brought the shirt for this exact purpose but it'd been her go-to morning outfit when she slept over at Wayne Manor for almost two years.
"Your Highness," Alfred inclined his head. Diana shook her head and smiled.
"I've asked you to just call me Diana, Alfred. You act like I'm still a stranger here," Diana snarked, walking over to the stove to smell the cooking food. "Love the aroma."
"Thank you, Your Highness, and with all due respect, familiarity does not outweigh being courteous in my book. Would you like bacon?" Diana glanced sideways to Bruce, who merely shrugged.
"Sure, I'll have four strips please," she said, turning to face Bruce. "And you still haven't answered my question."
Diana, I'd love to have you with me for it, but people are starting to notice Batman and Won –"
"Yeah, I've heard it before," Diana grunted, snatching a mug of coffee for herself and sitting down at the far end of the table in a huff. It was mostly a show, but there still lingered a bit of anger and resentment towards the fact that Bruce doesn't want anyone connecting the dots between Batman and Bruce Wayne by affiliation of close associates. She felt he was being paranoid, but someone like the Riddler or the Joker were smart enough to see the closeness of Wonder Woman and Batman to realize there was something between the two and for Bruce Wayne to take Diana out on a date would cause suspicion to a few watchful eyes.
"Don't take it personal, Diana. He has to keep up the charade of being a playboy billionaire that also has a heart of gold," Tim said without a beat.
The three ate in relative silence for the rest of the morning, only to say goodbye to Tim as he left to school. As Diana was getting dressed, Bruce watched with interest.
"I really am sorry, you know," he told her.
"Yeah, it's just…I'm tired of it just being Wonder Woman and Batman. For once I'd like it to be Bruce Wayne and Diana of Themyscira. I know it's important that you maintain the secret to your other identity, but do you ever think that one day we can be open about our relationship?" Diana asked, turning to face him. Bruce got up and hugged her.
"When Gotham no longer needs Batman,"
"In short, never," Diana pouted.
"Possibly, but you never know. But for now –"
"Okay, I'll try and keep my pestering down to once per week. Will I see you at the Watchtower today?"
"Busy schedule, board meetings, hands to shake, checks to give out. Then there's the charity," Bruce admitted with a shrug.
"Fine, I'll see you after hopefully. Until then, by Bruce."
"Have a good day, Diana."
*/*/*
Wonder Woman helped Superman lift the debris off the station and tossed them aside for cleanup. It wasn't much effort, especially with the low gravity of the moon, but it helped ease off some stress.
"So," Superman started through the comms. "I understand that things have been really steady between you and Bruce."
"It's been two years since we started seeing each other, Kal. 'Steady' is being polite, and the fact that you're saying so after all this time gives me the impression that there's another angle."
"Guilty as charged. Lois has been noticing and asked me during dinner," Superman sheepishly admitted.
"Kal-El, are you trying to get gossip for your wife?" Diana teased.
"I'm just happy that you're both happy. Rao knows Bruce needs the levity in his life. I'm just surprised he's starting to settle down after all these years I've known him," Kal-El said.
"You can tell Lois that it wasn't easy."
"Oh, she's aware," Superman said with a smile. "So how serious are you two committed to this?"
"What's that mean?" Wonder Woman shot him a look.
"I mean, are there plans for…you know marriage or a family or…" Superman's words trailed as he started to realize how the look Wonder Woman was giving him turned into a glare.
"Kal, do me the favor of sticking to the concerned friend and leaving behind the investigative journalist at home. I appreciate the invested interest, but I would appreciate it more if you waited for the news to come to you when it comes."
"Of course, sorry for being intrusive," Superman said, as he picked up the last piece of debris and put it with the rest. After gathering all the debris into one pile, Wonder Woman and Superman carried it away to be repurposed. "It's just, I've known him for a long time and I genuinely think he should be happy for once. Truth be told, I've never seen him the way he gets when he's with you."
"That's sweet of you to really care, it really is, but I just think that those sorts of questions are more appropriate to ask after they've been decided by the couple in question. That's all," Diana told him. Superman nodded.
"I'm going to go talk to moon station control, see you at the Watchtower?"
"Of course."
"Until then, Diana," Superman said before flying away.
*/*/*
The Iceberg Lounge was empty for the afternoon, but no one was relaxed. The clown had called for a truce, and requested a meeting place to discuss what he called 'the plan of the century', but everyone who was in attendance was more than a bit weary of the Joker after years of backstabs and half-lived alliances, most of all Oswald Cobblepot. Nearby was the former defense attorney Harvey Dent, Two-Face as he'd been going by for some time now, flipping that ridiculous coin of his.
"Hard to believe the clown is just willingly putting up the white flag," Two-Face graveled, his voice gruff and harsh.
"My men are prepared for any surprises he may pull. Finest guns found on the black market and trained by the nastiest mercs around. My boys will take care of him when I give the word," Cobblepot sneered. As if on cue, the main entrance of the building opened and the Joker strolled in.
"Gentlemen, have I got a story to tell you! And I bet you'll both love the ending, it's a real doozy!" the Joker said, his voice elated and joyous.
"What's this about clown?" Cobblepot asked pointedly.
"Why, Penguin, it's about getting rid of the Bat, once and for all. And this time there's no way he'll get out of it, satisfaction guaranteed!"
"This should be good," Two-Face said, his voice soft and skeptical. Joker turned to face him.
"Oh, it is, Mister District Attorney. It is," and the clown grinned the widest Cobblepot had ever seen him smile in his entire time of knowing the Joker.