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Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel. I own Addison Carter.

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I landed the quinjet behind the manor, removing the cloaking I had activated when we reached the UK. I turned off the engine and stood up.

"Stay here until I say otherwise."

"You don't even seem sure of yourself Addison," Steve said in a reprimanding tone.

"Just suck it up and do as I say for once Steve," I snarled back. I took a deep breath. "Sorry, sorry." I left the quinjet.

I had been careful not to land too close to the Braddock manor. I walked a few meters and looked up when I heard Brian. He was flying down toward me. His suit was similar to Steve in the way it was close to the body and thicker than it seemed. The pants were a dark blue up until his stomach. His boots were the same color. The chest had the red cross with white lines of the Union Jack flag. The red and blue went down his arms. Then he had blue gloves. His helmet also had the flag on it.

It didn't hide the frown on his face and I grinned nervously when he landed in front of me.

"Last week you were at a memorial and now an internationally wanted fugitive. Congratulations Carter."

"I aim to impress," I replied. "Sorry for involving you into this, but I didn't really know what else to do or who to call. I knew your place was empty so…"

"I know why you called me."

"So...you signed?" He pursed his lips and nodded.

"Yeah. More like as I told you, MI:13 did. If they give me an order it's fine, if I do things on my own then I'm breaking the law."

"Sorry about that." He scoffed.

"Ever since Tony Stark announced he was Iron Man, the threats keep getting more and more dangerous. The Accords were a long time coming with only one team like the Avengers around." Yeah, Vision said the same thing.

"What are you implying?" He frowned.

"Nothing, why?" I shook my head.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Anyway, I had my housekeeper Emma to prepare rooms for you all. Just bring your fellow fugitives inside. I haven't told anyone you contacted me."

"Hey, you're being patronizing and almost superior."

"What can I say?" He left the ground, floating a few meters above it. "My powers depend on my confidence." He went back to his manor.

I shook my head and went back to the quinjet.

"Okay, follow me," I told the guys.

"So they're trust worthy?" Sam asked me.

"Well...I do trust him right now."

"Him?" James said with a frown.

"Yes, him." As we saw the manor from afar, Sam whistled.

"Damn, what's that, Downtown Abbey?"

"Well...his dad was a Lord I think."

"Wait, seriously?" I sped up when I saw Brian outside, dressed casually with a pair of dark jeans, sneakers and a gray shirt. I shook his hand.

"Guys, this is Doctor Brian Braddock. Brian, you know them already."

"Yeah, I do watch the news Carter," he replied with a deadpan before nodding to the guys.

"Thanks for helping us out Doctor Braddock," Steve thanked him, shaking his hand.

"Yeah well, I'm getting used to being asked for help." I raised my eyebrows.

"Excuse me? It only happened like twice!"

"The housekeeper Emma prepared rooms for all of you, feel free to use them." He looked at me. "As I already told you at your grandmother's memorial, I live more in London now so you'll be on your own more often than not."

"That's okay, they're waiting for someone to contact them and once it's done, they'll forget this place."

"Of course," Steve agreed, Sam nodding. James was staring harshly at Brian. Brian shot me a quick look.

"Don't mind the one with the staring problem," I told him with a wave of my hand, Sam smirking at that.

"I heard that," James told me.

"Oh, I know," I replied with a quick glance.

June 30th, 2016, Braddock Manor, Essex, England

"Mister Sinister," Brian repeated as we were talking in his office in the middle of the night. "He seems like a real sweetheart."

"Tell me about it, one of his henchmen almost got in me in the Raft and no one would have been able to do anything about it," I grunted, sitting in a chair. I had a leg crossed over the other, my arms folded. "I was...completely defenseless." I drank my wine in one go and grimaced at the burn in my throat. "God, I don't drink alcohol and it shows."

"Yes, it does." He flipped through his papers. "So he's interested in you now, congratulations."

"It makes sense. My mutation evolves because of an Infinity Stone. My Dad worked on that, Darkmoor was about energy and well…"

"He just doesn't know what the energy source is, so we have that over him." He looked at me. "Six of them in the whole universe? It seems hard to find."

"Let's hope he never finds them. The experiments happening are disgusting enough, I don't want to throw a huge cosmic power into the mix." I took a deep breath. "I saw the news about America, it's…"

"A mess? Riots everywhere? The D.M.C being everywhere to control the riots? Racism?" I sighed and nodded. "Your name comes up very often."

"Yeah, or I'm a selfish bitch for not thinking about the repercussions of me not signing, or I'm a symbol of freedom and resistance against oppression." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "It doesn't really make me wanna go back to the US but…" I gulped. "I will anyway."

"Got a plan?"

"Not much for now. Just...if your sister needs help, tell her she can go to the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." He nodded. "Anyway, we were watching TV earlier today and guess what? We saw the vigilante Captain Britain defeating a magical being. Sam may have commented on how the alias was plagiarism. Steve was impressed when you kicked that bus."

"Thanks. His name was Nykonn and...Merlyn banished him." I smirked.

"So Otherworld? Your suit is basically an inter-dimensional energy battery and Otherworld is the source of it because it is a...a nexus of the Multiverse?"

"That's what I was told when Roma visited out of nowhere. It's...hum...basically, Great Britain seems to be a focus point for magical energies and such."

"Hence why there are so many stories about it," I pointed out. He nodded.

"Yeah, it's a pocket dimension that is a nexus between different realities but also different dimensions within our own reality. There's something regarding Asgard as well but I didn't really...listen to that part in particular."

"Why?"

"Because I was more focus on how the kingdom of Camelot still existed there?" I widened my eyes. "Yeah, my reaction. Since April, when I talk sometimes I just stop and ponder over what I'm saying. It still seems surreal."

"You fly on a daily basic."

"And remember how you told me you felt like there was something weird in Darkmoor?" he asked me, ignoring me. I nodded. "It's because it's a portal to Otherworld. Merlyn told you your powers were getting in sync with the fabric of reality, right?" I nodded. "My guess is that the stone that impacted your powers, the Reality Stone, gave you control over dark matter and that as it is still a mysterious element, it is possible it can touch the fabric of reality and because of that, you knew there was something hiding in Darkmoor."

"You know, hunting down HYDRA was a lot easier. We stayed in our dimension in our reality. The world is big already so…"

"Tell me about it, there was a robbery today at the Museum of Great Britain and I didn't catch the culprit." I raised a brow. "But neither did the police!"

"You know, there's a thin line between confidence and arrogance." He smirked.

"So, what are you going to do? I can't have you here forever, it's a matter of time before Wisdom comes here himself and I'm not looking for that."

"It's still electric between you two?" He rolled his eyes and I chuckled. "I don't have a plan, but I think I know how to get a lead."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have names, it's enough."

I wasn't proud of my years with Aksel, but it didn't mean I had forgotten them or what I learned and who I met. Caliban would talk.

"So Mastermind, a crazy computer?"

"I really don't want to talk about it or how the more I discover things about my father, the more I wonder in what kind of business he was."

"You and me both." I stood up. "Thanks for the drink, I'll turn in for tonight."

I found James standing still in front of my room. He turned his head to me when he heard me.

"Need something?" I asked him coldly. He clenched his jaw.

"We have to talk." I didn't want to.

I wasn't sure if I could keep a straight face but...but he would go to Wakanda soon, we needed to talk and…

"Fine, come in," I agreed, entering my room. I closed the door behind him and sat down on my bed. After some hesitation, he did the same, leaving some distance between us.

Then nothing. He remained quiet, his hand tight on his jeans and staring at the floor. I bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath.

"Alright, for someone who wanted to talk you're being very quiet so I'm gonna start." Calm down heart. "I'm in love with you." He closed his eyes almost painfully. "Here, said it, can't take it back. I'm in love with you and slept with you, then the next morning you were gone. Now I…" I sighed and turned toward him, a leg on the bed. "I've been heartbroken, sad, angry, but I just...I've never found the why. Did...is it me? Did I do something wrong? Because if it's the case, just tell me so I can move on and…" He shook his head.

"You didn't do anything Addie," he whispered.

"Don't call me that," I replied harshly and he finally looked at me. "You can't...not after leaving, not without telling me why. I think I deserve to know, it's…" I jumped on my feet, his eyes following me. "Look, at this point I don't care if you don't return my feelings James but if you respect me even just a little bit then you owe me the truth, no matter how much it hurts." I swallowed with difficulty. "I need to know."

"It's…" he rasped quietly. "I...shit!" He grabbed his head, shaking it. "I didn't want to hurt you Addison, I swear I didn't want to but I...I don't control them and I don't deserve you, not after...not after what I did!"

"What you did?" I repeated under my breath.

I paled when everything clicked together. James' memories came back in broken pieces, sometimes by a trigger. We slept together and then he left.

"You remembered my parents," I realized in horror. "You remembered killing them after we...Oh God…" He slowly raised wide, terrified eyes to me.

"What...how did you…" I closed my eyes painfully and sat back down next to him. "Who told you!?"

"Professor Xavier in 2014," I admitted quietly. He jumped on his feet, the betrayal in his eyes clear. "He told me my mother put that order in your brain, it wasn't complicated to know why she would do that or when."

"I don't get it, why did you help me then?"

"You think I enjoyed it at first?" I hissed between my teeth, looking up at him. "You passed out and I had a knife at your throat, debating whether or not I should end you."

"Why didn't you? It would have made everything easier for everyone."

"One, Steve. Two, I knew fully well you were brainwashed and HYDRA was the real reason I was an orphan. I was angry and hurt but…" I pursed my lips. "Fuck James, the Professor told me it would be good for me to help you, I didn't want to but then he asked me why I helped you already and I...in spite of you having been the weapon used to kill my parents, you were as much of a lost soul as I had been. I told you about my teenage years, I didn't want you to wander around just for HYDRA to possibly capture you again."

"You never told me," he said in an accusing tone.

"I figured if you knew the guilt would crush you and make you run into the wild." He shot me a pointed look. "I know, it's what you did anyway, I couldn't know we'd end up…" I pointed at him, then me, not finishing my sentence.

"Having sex?" he finished for me. I blushed and nodded. "Now you're embarrassed about saying it?"

"Shut up, will you?" He shook his head, rubbing his forehead with his remaining hand.

I didn't bother asking why he was missing an arm.

"Why don't you hate me?"

"Because I saw with my own eyes you were doing that just fine on your own," I replied more softly. He noticed the change in my tone and gulped. "I was angry, and cold at first, but ultimately it calmed down as I saw how truly lost you were. I don't hate you." Slowly, he sat back down. "You were scared I'd hate you if I discovered it?" He nodded.

"I thought...I thought it'd be easier if you hated me for leaving after sleeping together and not…" I bit my bottom lip.

"I understand now. Thank you for telling me." He smirked wryly.

"I don't call that telling you."

"I know, it's all that matters." There was a short silence and I saw him licking his lips from the corner of my eyes.

"So what now?"

"You're going to Wakanda to get HYDRA removed from your head, aren't you?" I replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't...I don't mean about that."

"Oh." I took a deep breath and hugged myself when I saw his hand inching closer to mine. He retracted it. "I...do you remember, after Sokovia, I made you promise me something." I heard him gulping.

"To not lose contact." I nodded. "I broke it."

"I told you everything James. I...I trusted you." He looked down. "I...I like to think it was reciprocated, that we were friends and…"

"I trust you Addison," he cut me off sharply, looking at me seriously. "You...you were the one reliable person I had in my life, the one person who always saw all of me even when I didn't want to, it's…" He grabbed one of my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Shit, I don't want to lose you. I missed you so damn much these past months, I…"

"You didn't trust me enough to think I would still accept you," I whispered to him with a tight voice. I had a lump in my throat. I tried to swallow it but it remained there. His blue eyes were uncertain, begging me to say anything. "But maybe it's not me, maybe it's you." He frowned slightly.

"What…" He froze when my fingers touched his temples.

"My mom, she was a psychiatrist. From what Tony says, I inherited her aptitude to read people pretty well, even without telepathy. James, as long as there is the tiniest chance you might be controlled again, you'll never be able to fully trust someone, no matter what kind of relationship you have with that someone." He pursed his lips. "I'm sorry, I thought I could help you but that's something I can't help you with. Even with the program removed I don't know if you'll be able...if you'll allow yourself to trust." I gulped. "You'll have to do that on your own."

"Why don't you come to Wakanda too?" he asked me so quietly I almost didn't catch it. I shook my head.

"My actions had consequences, I can't ignore them to go to Wakanda."

"I already know," he whispered. "I guess I just want a familiar face once I'm done with whatever they are planning to do to help me."

"I don't think Steve will forget about you."

"Especially after Siberia," he mumbled under his breath. I frowned.

"What happened in Siberia? Did Zemo destroy your arm?" He seemed very uncomfortable suddenly. I pulled my hand from his and frowned at him. "James, what happened in Siberia?"

"December 16th, 1991," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "Zemo, all he wanted was the report of that mission to split the Avengers apart."

"What?"

"He succeeded." He pursed his lips. "We fought him, we had to leave."

"Who did you fight?" I looked at his missing limb and gulped. "James, who destroyed your arm?"

"Stark," he told me. I stood up. His watery eyes weren't even on me. "He saw me, he saw me kill Howard and his wife and…" I paled.

HYDRA had my parents killed. Why wouldn't they get rid of Howard and Maria the same way?

"He saw you?"

"It was filmed, he saw me. I strangled his mother and beat Howard to death and then Steve told him he knew and…"

"Steve knew?" I repeated quietly. He nodded. I felt my gut twisting in my stomach. "Did...does Steve know about my parents as well?" He clenched his jaw. "James!" He painfully nodded.

I bit the inside of my cheek, keeping myself from crying in frustration.

Steve...knew? He knew all along and never said anything?

I wanted to puke.

Captain America had always been a symbol to fight hate and oppression to me, he represented all that was fair and justice yet…

He didn't say a word.

"If Tony had wanted you dead, you would be dead James." He looked up at me. "Steve hurt him more. His silence hurt him more, it's…" I looked at his arm. "What happened? You left Siberia, what happened?"

"Steve left his shield behind because Stark said he wasn't worthy, that Howard made the shield. He...I think his suit was broken, there was no light on the chest." I paled.

"You left him to freeze in Siberia!?" I yelled at him. He winced at the sudden raise in my voice.

"I don't...I'm not sure, I don't know if he could contact anyone...Addie, I'm sor…" He stood up, his face begging for forgiveness but I stepped back, my finger raised in front of me.

"Don't come closer," I hissed at him. "I…"

I loved him. I really, truly loved James. However, the bile I could taste in my mouth and the feeling of betrayal…

Steve didn't say anything. We lost our family, we deserved to know what happened yet…

"You...you need to leave." He shook his head.

"Please Addison, I swear…"

"I want to be alone, I need to be alone, leave before I force you out." He stared at me, silently begging me to let him stay and probably apologize but…

He left eventually. I clenched and unclenched my fist before letting out a wave of telekenitic energy that sent everything in the room flying against the walls.

What were you supposed to do when you discover your childhood hero betrayed you and basically used you?

July 15th, 2016, Braddock Manor, Essex, England

The quinjet disappeared and Sam immediately turned to me.

"Okay, what's with the attitude with them?"

"What attitude?"

"You've been giving them the cold shoulder!" he exclaimed with wide eyes. "I mean, Bucky's even more depressed if that's possible each time you ignored him and the few times you've trained with Steve you basically put the super-soldier serum to shame!"

"I was trained by Captain America and Black Widow Sam, it should be a good thing."

"Nah, not with that behavior, you're mad at Steve and Bucky, but more at Steve."

"Sam, drop it," I said with a sigh, going back in the manor. He followed me.

"Ha ha! I'm right!"

"Drop it Sam!"

Steve came back two days later.

"There are riots all across America right now because of the Accords, it's bad," Sam said. "They reopened old wounds. Mutants and enhanced people all across the globe are struggling to accept the Accords and fight among themselves. They blame the Avengers too, I don't think we'll be well received anywhere."

"We're sticking together then?" Steve asked me with a small smile. Sam grinned at him.

"You bet!" They looked at me. "What about you?"

"Dunno yet, I might spend the rest of my days here living the Downtown Abbey life. Maybe start watching the show to know what is the life."

"You should stay with us, it would be safer." I smirked.

"You just love deciding for others, don't you?" He frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," I muttered, standing up to leave the room.

Steve followed me. Of course he did.

"Alright, I've had enough of your attitude Addison," he hissed at me when we were outside. "You're telling me what's going on." I smirked and turned around to face him.

"Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me like that!?" I blew up at him. "For fuck's sake, I'm twenty-six in a month Steve, stop treating me like a kid! The only people who can talk to me this way probably don't want anything to do with me anymore!"

"Is that what it is? You're blaming me for Germany?"

"Oh no, I knew what I was doing in Germany, I knew what I was risking. Hell, unlike you not signing the Accords meant I would go back in jail, Germany or not." He frowned. "You didn't read the Accords entirely, have you? Enhanced individuals who were involved in terrorism in the past will be sent to jail without a trial if they do not sign the Accords! Wanda, Pietro, me...we did not have a choice but to join the Avengers if we wanted to stay out of jail, that's why Pietro signed and wanted Wanda to do the same!" He blinked, averting his eyes for an instant.

"It's one more reason to be against the Accords."

"Did you really think that because Captain America was against them they wouldn't happen?" I asked him in disbelief.

"You were against them too!" he snapped at me.

"I'm aware, thanks! It's not why I'm mad at you!"

"So you are mad at me!"

"Of course I am you fucking liar, you left my godfather to freeze in Siberia!" I yelled at him. He was taken back. "You left him after he saw James murdering his parents Steve!"

"Bucky told you," he whispered.

"Yeah. Yeah he told me. I'm mad at you because you didn't tell Tony you knew what happened to his parents. I'm mad at you because you never told me you knew what happened to mine." He clenched his jaw. "Yeah, he told me that too. Oh wait, actually I've known for two years!"

"You already knew?"

"Yes, I did. I still helped him though, and believed he didn't bomb the UN. But you didn't tell me. You assumed I'd fight with you to help him prove his innocence and didn't tell me about what he did. Hell, for all I know you knew when you asked me to help you find hi…" I stopped at the guilt in his eyes. "Oh God Steve…"

"Look, he needed to be found, I did what I thought was right."

"Right for who?" I retorted. I sniffed, putting my hand on my nose. He stepped forward but I stopped him by raising my hand.

"I wanted to protect him. I know that Tony started to help once we knew he was with you, that you helped him but...he's my best friend, I couldn't let him down."

"He's your best friend and you couldn't let him down?" He nodded and I smirked wryly. "Okay, that's...I'm not even going to throw the 'we were friends too' card or something because it appears to me you clearly do not care."

"It's not true, I care…"

"So I am going to put it another way for you to understand. Wasn't Howard your friend too? Weren't you in love with my grandmother Steve?" He froze. "Howard was killed alongside his wife. My grandmother, Peggy, the love of your life, she lost her only child and daughter-in-law and never, ever found who was responsible for the murder. My...my grandfather lost his pregnant fiance in a bombing during WW2 and then lost his son. They're all dead. But their families deserved to know the truth, what happened. If you respected them you would have told Tony and I."

"Don't go there Addison," he warned me, close to really snapping.

"No, I will go there. You know what I think Steve? Maybe you were trying to protect James, but the one you were trying to protect the most was yourself." He blinked. "I'm not going to pretend how it felt to come out of the ice seventy years later and to know everybody went on to live their lives, how it felt to meet Tony and I. But then surprise, James was still alive, but not really himself, not anymore. Yet, there it was, a semblance of familiarity in this...strange world. Telling us was admitting that James had been with HYDRA for decades and became a murderer, and that he killed Howard and Peggy's kid. It was admitting that everyone you knew and loved truly did move on but you didn't want that because you had not moved on, because the moment you'd put down the shield and stop fighting, then you wouldn't know what to do. You're not really with us in this era...you've never really been." I pursed my lips at the hurt in his eyes.

"Are you done?" he asked me quietly.

"Yeah, I think I am. I hope you'll find your place in the world Steve. I'm just sorry the Avengers couldn't give you what you were looking for."

Him and Sam left quietly, Sam uncomfortable because of Steve's silence. Once they were out and I fell in a couch in the living-room.

"Emma!" The housekeeper appeared, almost magically. "Can you bring me a phone please?"

"Of course Miss Carter." I dialed Brian's phone number.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, can you do me a favor?"

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