Chapter 18
My Heart in Your Hands
A command center was set up at the base with Mike Slattery and the soldiers were gathered for updates on the whereabouts of Dr. Scott.
"There were no signs of forced entry. Mason, are you sure of that?'' Mike asked.
"As I said before, absolutely sure, sir. Bertrise used her own key to open the door when we arrived."
"Do you have any updates on the Admiral's condition, sir?" Burk asked.
"The doctors are still doing some tests. Dr. Rios will let us know when they finish," Mike said. "The best we can do for him now is to find Dr. Scott. What do we have? What do we know?"
"We have the wounded Admiral and Dr. Scott is missing. The soldiers who were guarding the perimeter didn't report anything abnormal," Green said.
"Any signs of enemy threats in the base?" Mike asked.
"There were no signs of forced entry, sir. We checked. The kitchen door was open, but no signs of forced entry. Everything points to the fact that she got out alone," Cruz replied.
"Val and Kara are checking the cameras but so far we haven't found anything," Green reported.
"We are all starting from the premise that she was at home, maybe she wasn't even there," Mason theorized.
"Where else would she be? I left her at home after our visit to the botanical garden," Tex informed them. "She didn't go back to the lab, we know that."
"How was she?" Mike turned to Tex.
"Tired, sad and upset with the Commander and his supposed relationship with the journalist."
"They may have discussed-" Veronica started saying.
"And she threw him down the stairs, Veronica?" Tex asked sarcastically.
"I didn't say that! She may have been hurt too; she may be confused."
"Great! Could this get any worse?" Tex said, running his hands through his hair. "Sorry!"
"Apologies accepted, we're all tense here."
"She wouldn't run away leaving him injured. Why would she do such a thing?" Miller wondered out loud.
Wolf couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. He'd put her on a pedestal and it would be painful to deal with the blunt truth. Nobody's perfect. All humans have flaws, make mistakes. "We don't have all the facts to judge her actions."
"She may have been kidnaped," Miller added.
"There are no signs of a struggle in the house. I trained her. She knows how to defend herself, " Veronica asserted to them.
"If she had been kidnapped, we would have had cadavers and a pretty messed up scene," Wolf added. "He wouldn't have stopped for anything to protect her."
"I agree with Wolf, sir. I've seen the Admiral in action, he's a very, very skilled fighter in hand-to-hand combat. He could have died but he would have taken someone with him," Burk said.
Everyone knew that Thomas Chandler would die before Rachel Scott was hurt again.
"His hands are intact," Veronica said. "There are no signs that he has reacted to anything."
"I realized that too," Mike said. "The evidence we have points to an accident, but it doesn't explain why she ran away."
"Only the Admiral can answer some of these questions, sir," Granderson said.
But Tom still hadn't regained consciousness which was causing some concern among doctors. What was he doing at her house, if they barely spoke to each other in the past few days? Perhaps Jed could clarify that doubt.
"This is not true! There is another person."
"Sir?"
"Check in every house, under every rock if necessary, but find her. Failure is not an acceptable alternative for today."
The chorus of "yes, sir!" answered without hesitation.
"We'll find her, sir. "Miller tried to assure Mike before leaving.
"From your mouth to God's ears, Miller!" Mike said quietly. He remembers how Tom reacted to her death a few months ago. No, the alternative is not acceptable.
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At the hospital, Mike greeted the two soldiers at the door and entered a private room where Jed and the children waited for news accompanied by the Master Chief.
They spoke simultaneously.
"Any news?"
"No," said Mike, "still no sign of Dr. Scott. Tom?"
"He regained consciousness, but they are still doing some tests."
"Jed, could I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure."
"I'll stay with them," Jeter volunteered.
"I'll be right back," he told his grandchildren, then he followed Mike down the hall."
"Jed, I need your help."
"What do you need?"
"Tom kept his distance for the past few weeks. He is not the impulsive type, planning is what he does best. He should have a kind of plan in mind, maybe something to convince her to reconsider."
"The plan was mine, I made him believe that he had a rival, that maybe Rachel was starting to get interested in Tex; I thought it was enough to put them together and you know…"
"The spark between them would do the rest of the work," Mike continued. "Tom was upset, and as far as I know she was upset with him too, something to do with the journalist who was here this week."
"There wasn't just a spark, there was a damn powder keg. I know my son, Mike, he would never hurt Rachel, and I think it's safe to say that she wouldn't hurt Tom either."
No, at least not on purpose.
"There are no signs of forced entry into the house, there are no signs of enemies at the base, there are no defensive wounds in his hands. They may have argued and he somehow had an accident. But it doesn't explain her disappearance."
"God! This is a nightmare. What's your theory?"
"Well-"
He was interrupted by the arrival of the doctors.
"Mr. Chandler, Captain," Dr. Rios greets. "This is Dr. Gibson, the hospital neurologist."
"How is he, Doctor?" Jed asked.
"He'll be fine, Mr. Chandler. He has a concussion, small bruises and two bruised ribs. We'll keep him overnight for observation, just a precaution. He's being brought into the room now."
"Will Dad be okay?" Ashely asked.
"He just needs rest now," Dr Gibson offered a reassuring smile to her.
"Can we see him?" Sam asked.
"Yes, but just for a minute, like I said he needs to rest. I need to see another patient now. Dr. Rios knows where to find me."
"Thank you!"
Dr. Gibson nods before he makes his exit.
The children practically ran ahead of the adults, anxious to see their father.
"He's been very agitated since he regained consciousness," confided Dr. Rios. "…demanding to know what happened to Dr. Scott, perhaps some answers can calm him."
"Yeah, and pigs can fly!" Jed muttered.
Mike agreed in silence because he knows that to calm his friend would be an almost impossible task. The presence of children would keep his temper under control but that would be something temporary.
When they walked into the darkened room, the children wasted no time and ran to hug their father.
"Be careful! "Jed warned, seeing his son shudder.
It hurts like a bitch but there's nothing you can do about it. He can endure a little pain if hugging is what his children need. He met his father's eyes over the children's heads.
"I'm fine, Dad. Just a little sore."
"Have you been attacked by enemies, Dad?" Sam asked, looking very worried.
"No, buddy! Rachel stumbled on the stairs, I tried to hold her and we both fell, it was an accident. A stupid accident."
"She is missing," Ashley said
"Missing…" Tom repeated, and Jed noticed his son shuddered again, this time the pain was not physical, he could tell. The machine connected to his body registered an increase in his heart rate. "Wasn't she with me?"
"No, Mason and Bertrise found you at the bottom of the stairs."
When he woke up the first thing he did was ask about her, the answers had been evasive. He had become increasingly irritable as his demands were ignored, his headache increasing to an almost unbearable level.
Tom's gaze traveled between the men in the room and they fixed on the one who could give him the answers he needed. But for the moment he was afraid to hear any of it.
"There are teams looking for her, we will find her."
Mike's words did little to calm the cold uncertainty that chilled his blood, all the worst scenarios paraded before his eyes, she could be injured, unable to respond, or worse dead somewhere. He banishes the thought. Don't feed your fears, Thomas Chandler, it will only make things worse.
His voice was calm when he turned to the children. "It's late. You should go home and rest."
The children protested in unison, not wanting to leave their father, the fear of losing him still very fresh in their minds. The combined arguments of the father, the grandfather and the doctor convinced them. Jeter offered to take them home. He would take care of them until Jed could do that. Dr Rios also went out to work out some details with the hospital's medical team.
"How long?" Tom asked.
"It has been about three hours," Mike didn't bother clarifying as he can read Tom's train of thought.
Tom closed his eyes for a moment. A lot could have happened in three hours.
He started to get out of bed only to be stopped by his father. "Where do you think you're going?"
"She's out there, somewhere, maybe hurt. Do you really think I'm going to stay still here? I'll not allow that to happen ever again!"
"You are not in a physical condition for that."
"That's for me to decide."
"You want us to find her as soon as possible, right?"
"What kind of question is that, Mike?" Tom turned to him angrily.
"As I recall, bruised ribs hurt like a bitch. You can barely move without feeling pain, if you go, you would be a responsibility in the field, because we will be concerned about your safety. If she is injured, time is of the essence."
Although he hates to admit it, Mike is right, and not just for his physical condition. He leaned back in bed with a defeated sigh. Before, she had been taken by an enemy, now she had fled. How do you rescue someone who doesn't want to be rescued? How to approach someone who sees you as the enemy?
Mike is surprised how easily he gives in. Maybe he's in more pain than he lets on.
The fear and suspicion in her eyes. Involuntarily Tom took a deep breath and immediately regretted it when the pain blossomed around his rib cage.
"Son!"
"Just give me a minute," he said, wincing in pain.
Mike and Jed exchanged worried looks. Tom seemed to be struggling with something, and not just the physical pain, a haunted look entered his eyes.
Seeing the two men's worried looks, he felt the need to reassure them, "I'm fine."
"You're not!" Jed said.
"No one expects you to be," Mike added.
He couldn't help but smile, they knew them too well to be fooled.
"What happened, son?"
"I acted like an idiot and she was upset with me, then things took an unexpected turn when she…" There were things they didn't need to know about everything that had happened. Her invitation being one of them.
"Fuck!" he sighs under his breath. This woman will be the death of him.
A flicker in his son's eyes and the momentary inability to face him made Jed's eyes narrow suspiciously.
"Hmm," his father sounded amused and pleased. "Did you two have a fight?"
He wanted to give in to it, he really did… the almost predatory look in her eyes had been so fucking sexy. He clears his throat. "Isn't that what you expected when you sent me there?"
"I expected some fireworks but not something so dramatic."
Tom snorted.
"Tenacity can be an excellent quality for a scientist, but it can be very frustrating when you are the recipient of it. She was demanding to speak to the prisoner we have in custody. I really need to have a serious conversation with Miller, he needs to learn to keep his mouth shut. "
Good luck with that. Mike thought. He has a crush on your girl. He would do anything for her and she wouldn't even have to ask.
"I made it clear that it would never happen but she kept insisting. I don't know what the trigger was, but then suddenly she was yelling at me to stay away from her…it was then that I realized that some of her memories had come back."
His father's confusion was mirrored in his friend's countenance. He could imagine what they were thinking. Recovering her memory was a good thing. Why did he act like he wasn't pleased?
"She remembered just one fact, the death of Niels Sorenson and how I reacted to it."
"Holy shit!" Mike cursed.
"Who is Sorenson?" Jed asked, glancing between the two men.
The friends exchanged a charged glance.
"A killer who got what he deserved," Mike said at the same time as Tom. "The man she killed."
Jed looked between the two men, clearly there was a disagreement on the matter at hand. But it was not the time to ask for further explanations.
"Even in hell that bastard causes us problems. It's bad!"
"It only gets worse, Mike. She remembered that I put her under house arrest. I think she remembered everything I told her. Now she does not trust any of us, she is afraid… of me."
The son has arrested Rachel, this story was increasingly confusing.
"I need to ask," Mike started.
"It was an accident. She tried to run away and I tried to hold on to her, instinctively she used her self-defense training, making us stumble and fall down the stairs."
"I'm glad she doesn't know how to shoot," Mike said half-jokingly and half-seriously.
Upon hearing that, Jed inhaled sharply, causing two pairs of eyes to turn toward his direction.
"Dad!?"
"She knows how to shoot because I taught her."
Tom opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, as if his brain had suddenly forgotten how to form coherent words.
"How effective is she with a gun?" Mike asked.
His response was delivered with unmistakable pride. "Quite efficient."
It made things a little complicated.
Tom's brain finally makes the connection with his mouth. "Dad, how could you?" he asked, his voice rising.
"She asked me for help, how could I say no? Everyone refused to train her, and you were constantly putting it off. She got tired of waiting."
"Unbelievable!" Then some things made sense, going out at odd times, sometimes he came in late at night, whispered conversations on the phone, refusing to talk about the mysterious woman, and especially now that he thought about it, a mischievous gleam in his father's eyes as if he was hiding something and having fun with it. "Rachel, she was the mysterious woman you're dating?"
"I never said I was dating, you were the one who jumped to conclusions."
"I need to update the teams on this new information," Mike said, already heading for the door.
"Mike!"
"Try to rest, I'll keep you informed."
Before he closed the door, he heard Tom say, "You, old man, owe me some explanations."
His phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out and studied the display. "Val, what-"
"I may have found something," she responded enthusiastically.
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Soldiers approached a building, it seemed once a warehouse, about a few stories high and did not look like the building was abandoned because of the pandemic, as the signs of neglect and decay were older. Several holes in the walls, windows with broken glasses, plants that had taken possession of part of the facade, weeds everywhere. A plate erased by time but it was still possible to read, 'This building is to be demolished, please do not enter.' The lights of the lanterns, seemed small dots dancing through the darkness, illuminating the walls with a ghostly glow.
"It must be full of disgusting creeping things," Cruz whispered to his mic.
"I doubt that can stop her," Tex said. "She usually goes where angels fear to tread."
"In addition, we were told to look under every rock if necessary," Burk reminded the team with him.
Upon entering the building, the glow of lanterns chased away the small inhabitants who tried to hide again in the depths of darkness, but one of them in his haste to escape just went over the foot of one of the soldiers who shouted in disgust.
A surprise scream cut the night, reverberating on her brain, interrupting her dream / nightmare. For a moment she thought she still was dreaming, but when the voices grew louder, she scrambled to her feet. Her first thought was that they had found her.
"Rats, I hate these things," Cruz said. "I think that she would not come here."
"She works with rats, remember?" Green said.
"They were domesticated."
"Who would say that a man of this size is afraid of rats?" Green provoked.
"Shut up, Green!"
Rachel jumped to her feet groaning in pain. She rubs at her temple, at the throbbing pain that shoots across half her head.
She could hear the voices but could not understand what they were saying.
She needs to get out of here now, in her desperation she runs and practically stumbles into a wall of muscle.
The intense light blinded her eyes for a few seconds. He lowered the flashlight and her eyes as they regained the ability to see properly, could see a soldier… She knows who he is, but the only one thing seems to register in her brain, he's armed.
"Thank God! I've found you. Are you okay?"
She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and the feel of the blood pulsing through her veins.
"Ma'am, I'm here to take you home," Cruz said in what he hoped was a soothing tone.
His words seemed to have the opposite effect, because her eyes, if possible, grew even wider in her pale face. He followed her gaze and realized she was looking at the gun in his hand.
"Cruz, do you copy?"
Without taking his eyes off her he holstered the gun and grabbed the radio, his movements deliberately slow.
"Yes, I cop-,"
Then the person on the other end of the line started to hear sounds of struggle, muffled words, I ….don't ... want .. to.. hurt.. you ... and then groans of pain. No, wait…
She ran for the exit but the beam of light coming towards her told her that the other soldier was close. So she ran to the stairs, not worrying that it could fall and she could break her neck.
The other soldiers arrived a few minutes later to find Cruz on the floor writhing in pain and to hear footsteps reverberating on the stairs.
"Man, are you ok?
"What happened?"
"We have a problem, a big problem," Cruz said in his breathy voice because of the pain.
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When Tom woke up, he kept his eyes closed. He didn't even remember falling asleep. He made an inventory of his body, headache-check, no dizziness-check, pain in the ribs when he breathes-check. This pain is expected, he can deal with it.
He remembers that Rachel is missing and this time he will not stand still doing nothing.
Tom opened eyes and he saw his father sitting next to his bed.
"Rachel?"
"They found her, son…"
"Where? Is she alright? What did she say?"
"In a building within the perimeter of the base, she looks fine; they are trying to convince her to return with them."
"Why do I feel you're not telling me everything, Dad?"
Jed took a deep breath and surrendered to the inevitable, he knew he could not hide the truth. Tom would be more anxious, imagining the worst scenarios and his blood pressure was through the roof already.
"She attacked one of the soldiers and took his gun."
The gun would only make the situation more volatile, Tom thought worriedly. Rachel could hurt herself or to hurt one of them, he might very well run the risk of losing her forever. Because if she blames herself for killing the monster that was Niels Sorenson, she would never forgive herself if she killed one of them.
Tom threw the covers back and got out of bed; pulling the wires in the process. This time, his father could not stop him.
Captain Slattery had instructed Dr. Rios about the fact that they had found Dr. Scott and it was up to him to try to keep the Admiral at the hospital. Easier said than done.
When he entered the room, he found the patient standing, and he had already pulled the IV from his arm.
"I'm leaving," his hard voice giving no room for negotiation.
"I can't let you do that, in that case, my authority exceeds yours," then added, "Sir."
Tom decided to change tactics.
"As a patient I have a right to refuse medical treatment. I'm not asking as your commander, I'm asking as a patient."
It wasn't just the words that made him reconsider, but the look of despair beneath it all. "I will ask them to prepare your discharge paperwork."
"Thank you."
Jed let out a sigh, half exasperation half weariness as he saw the doctor leave the room
Tom looked around the room trying to figure out where they'd put his clothes.
"Your clothes were cut off when you entered the hospital," Jed answered the unspoken question.
There was a satisfied look in his father's eyes. You wouldn't go out like that. Tom looked at himself in the hospital gown, he didn't mind a damn if he had to go naked. The corners of his mouth turn up. Then went to the door and called one of the soldiers. "Shaw."
"Sir," the soldier appeared in seconds. Shaw felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his commander.
They weren't the same size, but the clothes would have to fit.
"Take off your clothes."
"What?! "
Shaw looked at the father of his commander, almost begging for help, because surely this was the strangest order he had received. Maybe the fall had damaged something, caused some brain damage.
"I need your uniform," Tom clarifies when he sees the soldier's shocked look.
Shaw began to take off his boots slowly.
Jed felt like banging his own head on the nearest wall or the head of his stubborn son.
"You're the most stubborn person I know."
"Thanks, Dad."
He throws his hands up in frustration. "Okay. Fine. You win. Your clothes are in the bag in the closet. Say that you are stubborn, this was not a compliment by the way."
"I'm your son; I must have inherited the stubbornness from you."
"Not from me. You inherited your stubbornness from your mother."
"You can go, Shaw," Tom ordered the soldier as he headed to the closet.
Shaw sighed in relief and left the room as fast as he can.
Jed watched his son wear the clothes, he was standing by sheer stubbornness. When it was time to put on his shoes, Jed saw Tom sway dangerously, he had supported his foot on a chair.
"Tom, sit down before you fall flat on your face and spoil the doctor's work."
"Dad, I've put my shoes alone since I was five years old."
"You did not have a concussion when you were five years old, and it was not for lack of trying."
Tom rolled his eyes and obeyed. He sat down on a chair and pulled on his shoes.
Jed sighed worriedly as he noticed the pain Tom couldn't hide.
After dressing and before leaving he turned to his father and said, "I can handle this pain."
I hope to God you don't have to deal with another one. His son doesn't need him acting like a mother hen. What he needs now is his blessing.
"Go, bring your girl home."
"Yes, sir," he saluted and left escorted by two soldiers.
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Arriving at the scene, Tom was greeted by several soldiers at the entry of an abandoned building. All were looking up and he followed their gaze and what he saw made his blood run like ice in his veins. Rachel was balancing precariously on the parapet of the building.
Tom felt someone touch his shoulder.
"Veronica! How did this happen?" Tom asked her, not taking his eyes off from Rachel.
"Unfortunately, it looks like I trained her well, she disarmed Cruz."
"Who's up there with her?"
"Cruz, Burk, Tex and Green. I found it best to keep the minimum number to interact with her, she is very nervous," Mike said, coming close to his side.
"Let's go," Tom said.
Dr Rios knows he won't be able to change his mind, but it's his duty as a doctor to alert his patient. "Sir, this building does not look safe. In your condition this is very dangerous."
"Let's go," Tom repeated and walked with determined steps towards the entrance.
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Rachel searches for a way out, could hear footsteps growing closer and closer, the gun in her hands feels strange, but it may be the only form of defense.
She searches for a ladder but cannot find it and then in pure despair she climbs onto the parapet. Looking down, she felt dizzy for a moment.
The four soldiers went through the door and were shocked to find her on the parapet.
"Hey Doc, you could please come down so we can talk," Tex said.
"No…you've done this before, pointed guns at me."
"Ma'am, we never made that!" Green protested.
"All of you were there… he was there."
The men exchanged confused looks. Despite the distrust and hostility on the part of the crew when they learned the secret she was hiding, they would never hurt her.
"Oh shit!" Cruz said. "The Russian ship, she is reminded of the ship, the rescue mission."
"Rescue mission?"
"You helped us to rescue the Captain from the Russian ship, when we entered the room we were armed because we were in the enemy ship and we did not know what we would find," Green explained to Rachel.
A name came to her mind. "Ruskov?" She asks, uncertainty in her voice.
"That's right!" Burk confirmed to her.
"I remember it," she said, but it seemed as though her mind was elsewhere. "The officer looked so surprised when I shot him the first time…"
Tex, taking advantage of the apparent distraction of her, tried to pull her from the railing to the safety of the roof. She noticed the movement and screamed, pointing the gun at him. "Stay away!"
Tex silently cursed his stupidity for having increased her distrust, ''Rachel, you killed in self-defense."
"I thought you were my friend, Tex ..."
"I am."
"We all are," Cruz said "You are one of us."
"I'm not a soldier," she protested vehemently.
"Soldiers fight wars, and you've won the most important one, you've won over a virus. We are alive because of you."
"Because of you I have Kara and my son, you saved their lives. I'll never be able to repay you for it," Green said.
"We are here because we care about you," Tex said.
"Soldiers must obey orders." "Yes, but the only order we received was to take you safely home," Burk said.
"And if the Admiral had given another order?" she asks dubiously.
"He would never do that!" Tex said.
"He has put me under house arrest before."
"You received the presidential pardon for the death of Niels, Dr. Scott. The document was signed before you were kidnapped," Cruz told her.
They seemed sincere and their arguments convincing. She put one hand on her head, pain and fatigue hindering her reasoning.
"Who was the man I killed in my laboratory?" she asked them.
"His name was Niels Sorensen; he created the virus and spread it among the population," Tex replied to her.
"Deliberately?" She asked in surprise. "Why would someone do such a thing?"
"Because he was a selfish bastard, believe me, Rachel, no one misses him, you did the world a favor," Tex told her.
"If this is true, why was he so angry with me? Why the contempt?" Maybe because he hates me, I put blood on his hands." She says almost out loud, rubbing one side of her head.
The four soldiers exchanged worried glances.
Most of the crew thought that Dr. Scott had done the world a favor, killing that bastard. The Captain's reaction was to put her under house arrest, he was furious, most thought that part of the reason was that he had feelings for her. Although none of them were crazy enough to verbalize those thoughts.
"I just want that pain to go away, I'm just so tired of everything," she said while looking down.
Instinctively the soldiers stepped forward, fearing the worst.
"Rachel, look at me, he doesn't hate you, his feelings are so far from hate, I guarantee it," Tex told her with his hand outstretched towards her.
"I hurt him…"
"It was an accident," replied a breathless voice. They found themselves surprised to hear the voice of their Commander; he should be in the hospital. But here he was a little unsteady on his feet with hands raised trying to calm the doctor.
"The fall could have killed you."
I could have killed you.
"I'm fine." If "fine" means two bruised ribs, concussion and pain throughout the body. And the climb to four flights of stairs did not help his current condition,
"Sir, maybe ..." Burk said worriedly. In a normal situation, Dr. Scott would never be a threat to any of them, much less to the Admiral, but this was not a normal situation.
"It's okay, she would never hurt me, right Rachel?" "Tom asked as he approached her. Somehow managing to keep the fear out of his voice. Because the truth was, he was terrified, she wouldn't survive a fall from that height.
He kept his hands raised trying to placate her.
He advanced; hands raised. "Please come down off the ledge, it's dangerous…"
"Stay away!" she screamed.
"If you want to stop me, you'll have to shoot me. Because If you're not going down I'll go up there to you."
"Sir, do you think this is a good idea?" Green asks worriedly.
"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears, " he said without taking his eyes off the woman in front him.
Silence.
"No? That's what I thought."
He climbed up onto the ledge, his shoes balancing precariously on the rail, praying that his body does not betray him now.
Now they were both on a parapet several meters above the ground. He had faced dangerous situations before, a gun pointed at him, but never from someone he cared about.
"Don't! Stay away from me," She said, gun pointed straight at him. Rachel's eyes were full of fear. Afraid of the things she remembered, but most of all afraid of what she felt. She's a tangled mess of emotions she can't make sense of.
He continued forward, making eye contact, so he was so close to her that the only thing that separated them was the gun in her hand.
"Don't move," she ordered in desperation.
"I'll lower my hands now."
As a soldier, he has the training and the ability to easily disarm Rachel. But it's not an option, he needs to regain her trust. Against his better judgment, Tom took a step forward. He moved until he felt the gun barrel was pressed against his chest.
"Sir…"
"Commodore…"
Tom ignored the alarm warnings from the other men.
Rachel gasped and she held the pistol in both hands. Uncertainty, fear and the tiniest hint of admiration flitted across her face.
He looked at her bruised face, he instinctively reached out a hand to her, but stopped when he saw her flinch.
"I'm sorry you got hurt."
"Why do you care?"
"I may not have agreed with what you did, but I never stopped caring about you."
"You were angry with me; there was more disappointment, as if I had betrayed you in some way, you walked away from me as if I had the plague."
The gun pressed harder into his chest. He winced in pain, but did not retreat. A part of her wants to hurt him as much as he hurt her in the past. What the fuck is wrong with her?!
"I am a man, not a saint. I make mistakes like everyone else. Yeah, I was angry, disappointed, sad, and most of all, scared, because you tested an experimental vaccine on yourself. Why am I putting my life in your hands, Rachel? My heart?" He looked significantly to the gun down on the left side of his chest. "Because I trust you, because I love you, that's why."
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"Shit! This is getting out of hand," Burk said. "We have to do something."
"She is very nervous, if any of us interfere, she can startle and pull the trigger. She would not miss the target at this distance; the bullet would tear through his heart and he would be dead before reaching the ground," Green told them.
"It won't happen," Tex said with absolute conviction.
"Are you sure you're seeing what we are seeing?" Green asked him.
"Yeah, and something you guys didn't notice, she took her finger off the trigger as soon as his body touched the gun."
"Do you think he noticed?" Cruz asked.
"Maybe, but my guess is that there are other worries on his mind right now."
They fell silent again, their eyes turned to the drama unfolding in front of them.
SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH
She looks at the gun pressed on his chest and for a moment she sees blood on his uniform, a lot of blood, her hands were also stained with blood, hot, sticky…
She gasped as she scrambled backwards, needing to get away, the gun escaping from her fingers and dropped to the pavement, meters below. The sudden movement made her sway dangerously. His hand reached out automatically to steady her. She puts both her hands on his chest, his uniform saturated with blood. She tried to stop it, but the blood flowed through gaps in her fingers. Her movements became more and more frantic with each failed attempt. Tears filled her eyes.
"There is blood on your uniform, so much blood…"
He held her hands, stilling her frantic movements. "Rachel, look at me!" She lifted her eyes to his. "I'm not bleeding! I'm fine."
Her breathing becomes quicker and quicker.
Shit! She's hyperventilating.
He pulled her gently into his arms and she went willingly. "Breathe with me". He inhaled slowly through his nose, exaggerating the sound, no matter how much it hurt, it was worth it! She drew a deep breath into her lungs, then slowly exhaled it. And again and again.
He feels her calming down as her breathing returns to normal.
Engulfed in his arms, silent tears began to fall as guilt, shame, and remorse hit her like a freight train. She had pointed a gun at him, she had put his life at risk. How could she face Jed and the kids after that? What could ever excuse her actions?
He could feel the warm moisture of her tears dampening his shirt. "It's going to be okay, honey," Tom whispered soothingly to her. .
She sobbed and hugged him tighter, but pulled away immediately when he couldn't help but wince in pain.
He had fallen down a ladder, becoming unconscious, he could have a concussion, broken ribs or something much worse. Oh God! If she thought she couldn't feel worse, she was wrong. She can only hold his gaze for a few seconds before looking away.
"How bad is it?" she asked, the concern in her voice evident.
"It's not so bad."
"You are lying."
He couldn't contain himself and laughed out loud. He hissed in pain as sore ribs and bruised muscles protested their abuse. Fuck! Pain meds are wearing off.
Rachel's eyes widened. "Tell me you didn't climb several flights of stairs with your broken ribs?"
"They're not broken, just... bruised."
"Bloody hell!" she cursed "Are you crazy?"
"Yes, I'm crazy in love with you. I'd follow you anywhere, Rachel."
She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. Then she slowly raises a hand and gently caresses his face with her fingertips.
She believes him. Maybe it was her feelings, or as the saying goes 'actions speak louder than words.' Because despite her confused memories, her fears, the things he did corroborate his words.
Her touch as soft as the wings of a butterfly made his heart beat as if he had run a marathon.
"I'm very sorry, Tom."
"What for?" he couldn't help that a little disappointment bled through the words. He is only a human, after all, having his trust and love questioned all the time, it hurts.
She pulled away as if she'd been burned.
He cursed himself internally.
She deserved it, she thought. There are different ways to hurt people, perhaps worse ways. She hadn't trusted him, she had ignored everything they had been through in the last few weeks, she had left him behind, she had threatened him with a gun.
"The list is long," she said without looking at him.
He tried to pull her into his arms again but she resisted him. One step forward, one step back. One advances, the other retreats. He can't help but think that this has been one of the most common aspects of their relationship. Something needs to change. Because he won't give up on her.
"Where do you want me to start?" she asked and finally, she focused those big brown eyes at him. The vulnerability in them has completely disarmed him.
"Sorry!" he said softly, moving closer to brush her arm gently with a comforting touch. She seems unusually breakable and he just wants to look after her.
Don't apologize for being human, she thought letting out a deep breath.
"I know you are not ready yet. That does not stop me from loving you."
She frowned; the words seemed familiar. "I know those words…"
A smile touched the corners of his mouth, "The words are yours…"
He had played so many roles during their journey. Ally. Friend. Partner. Lover. No yet. So much had changed since the first time they saw each other, he thought with a certain nostalgia.
"You wrote a letter to me before your kidnapping in which you said you loved me."
Her eyes traced his face and dropped to his smile. She needs to figure out a way to make things work between them, to not mess things up how she usually does, because she cannot deny, much as she may try, that she is maddeningly in love with him.
"I do," she says it slowly and deliberately, not allowing any room for misunderstanding.
Hesitantly she leaned forward and kissed him, as if looking for something, he's more than willing to help her find the answers she's looking for. But then the feeling of self-preservation kicks in when his foot meets emptiness for a second. She also notices as she pulls away, a guilty look on her expressive face.
He rubs his hand up and down her spine and murmurs reassuringly. "We're okay."
"What do we do?" she asks, her voice muffled against his chest.
"Why don't we start from the beginning?" he suggests.
She raises her head and looks at him quizzically.
"I'm Commander Chandler, ship's Captain," he said, holding out his hand.
His words stirred something inside her, as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes, a powerful sense of recognition touching her heart. A memory fragment that floats up, the first time she saw him: I'm Commander Chandler, ship's Captain.
A sharp pain erupted in her head, she put both hands on her head and tried to get away from him, losing her balance.
Tom pulled her and both fell on the right side of the parapet, on the roof safety. He cannot stop the scream of pain due to his bruised ribs.
"Sir, are you ok?" Green asked worriedly.
He did not answer. The pain bloomed against his ribs stealing his breath for a few seconds.
Tom turned his attention to the woman in his arms.
"Rachel!"
She did not seem to hear him. He had seen that look before, when she remembered Niels's death.
His arms wrapped around her, pulling her body closer to his. Her fingers clasped his shirt like she was drowning and he was her only life line.
Rachel's memories came like an avalanche.
The discussion when he discovered the truth… Tell me about the cure!
A succession of images, conversations and feelings…
Distrust of the crew… … you don't have anything to prove…
Betrayal of Quincy… But I've risked everything for you…
If we have to go to Bangladesh to find a Bengal tiger, that is what we will do…
Diplomacy's not necessarily your strong suit…
Thank you…For what?... For believing in me…
He gently stroked her hair and whispered in her ear. "It's okay, I'm here, love."
Tests to create the vaccine.…The rescue from the Russian ship…The kiss to pass the note… We have the cure, Captain… The death of Niels… Pain when Tom walked away from her… The dread and helplessness when she was in the hands of the kidnappers … she would never see him again, she could never tell him … meeting Jake and Elena … dreaming of a mysterious man … when they meet again in Jake and Elena's house… The kiss they exchanged after the press conference … discussion… falling down the stairs… I love you…
The puzzle is now complete, all the pieces in place, all the good and bad memories, she remembers everything finally. Rachel remembers who she is. A human being with flaws and virtues. An imperfect human, like everyone else.
It was like waking up from a long dream.
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes for what seemed like forever.
"Rachel?!"
"Tom," a range of meanings in a name. Recognition. Love. Confidence. Repentance.
"Hey, honey."
"Hi, luv."
A slow smile spread over Tom's face
"Don't do it again," she said, "Or else I'm going to kick your ass "
His smile widened. His eyes slip closed as he wraps her tighter into his chest. She's all right. They're okay.
TBC. Love it? Hate it? Leave a word for us!
P.S. While this resolves the main issue of our story, there is another big event that both of them will face very soon. Before we go to their happy ending. And yes, this story ends in a happy ending for Scotch.