In the Pre-Morning Light

by InnerCherry

Bella Swan has had enough of life with her mother- Renee may love her, but Bella is tired of the neglected life she leads in Phoenix. She arrives in Forks at the start of her junior year skittish and afraid, desperate to avoid attention. Her plan is to enjoy building her relationship with Charlie and forget the nightmares that haunted her in Arizona. But then she meets the Cullens.

2. Chapter 2

I do not own Twilight, any associated characters, plot, etc. For plot purposes, some of this chapter is a reflection of Bella's first day in canon.

Trigger warning: panic attacks, severe anxiety.

CHAPTER 2: One step forward, two back

Waking up the next Monday for school was not pleasant.

I hadn't really slept well the night before; while I had gotten used to the sound of rain falling already, Sunday night a rough storm hit the Pacific and kept me up half the night. The anxiety of being the new kid at school didn't help either.

I walked downstairs that morning dressed in one of my hoodies, already cold. I hoped fervently I'd get used to the colder temperatures sooner than later, or I was going to be in for a rough winter.

Charlie was already up and at the stove, just finished plating a second plate of scrambled eggs and bacon as I walked over to the coffee maker.

"Morning, Dad," I mumbled, pouring most of the pot into his waiting travel mug, and the rest into a mug for myself.

"Good morning, honey," he said. "Sleep well?" He sat the second plate on the table for me and then sat down to his own.

I checked the time- it was almost seven, he would be leaving soon for work, and I'd have to leave soon after that too. I sat down to eat, my stomach in knots.

"No," I sighed, "not really. I hate the thought that I'm going to be stared at from the second I get there."

Charlie hummed, understanding my concerns, and reached over to pat me on the shoulder comfortingly. Neither of us liked to be the center of attention, so he really did understand some of my reasons. And after last summer, he could probably guess at the rest.

I hadn't explained to him why I had a sudden, much more extreme aversion to being stared at now, but being a cop, I knew he'd put a couple of things together. Especially after seeing Renee and her then-boyfriend. Thankfully, he'd never asked about it, and I'd never brought it up- it was honestly something I was trying to forget.

Nothing even happened, a snarky voice, sounding remarkably like Renee, whispered in my ear. The eggs in my mouth suddenly tasted like ash, and nausea rolled my stomach. It certainly hadn't felt like nothing. For months, it had felt like every inch of my privacy was stripped from me, with no one in my corner to support me.

(-the bedroom door creaked open; I was facing the wall so I couldn't see, but I knewIknewIknew who it was-)

I shoved the thoughts and memories away and forced myself to eat, determined not to worry Charlie any more than he already was.

"You ready to get back to work?" I asked Charlie, trying to distract myself.

He chuckled. "Honestly, yes and no. I've enjoyed having the time with you, but I also feel off-kilter when I don't work."

Charlie, true to his word, had stayed home with me that weekend, and we spent the time getting to know each other and setting some boundaries.

We even had a frank discussion about household responsibilities after he caught me trying to take on all the chores. It wasn't an intentional thing on my part, but the man had already done so much for me, I felt as though I needed to do more to pull my weight. And, regardless, it was my habit for years.

But Charlie wasn't having it. We had a good, clear discussion on expectations- as a sixteen, almost seventeen-year-old, he did expect me to pick up after myself and do my own laundry. But the rest we divided between the two of us, with Charlie taking over most of the outdoor work on his insistence. It was a novel experience for me.

I could tell living with him would be very low maintenance, and relaxing. We'd spent Saturday night bingeing Star Wars, and we were hoping to have a movie night together every other week or so.

The scraping of a kitchen chair against the linoleum flooring jerked me out of my thoughts. Charlie was putting his dishes in the sink and reaching for the soap.

"I'll get them," I said, and rolled my eyes at the look he sent me. "It's only fair because you cooked, plus you need to leave first."

He huffed, smiling but left the dishes alone and walked over to the rack on the entry wall to clip on his gun belt and shuck on his jacket.

"Well, then I'm off Bells. Now listen," he walked back over and leaned on the table, looking me in the eye. "If you feel like it's too much, you can head home. I know you're more nervous than you let on."

I smiled weakly at him; along with everything else, it seemed Charlie was much more observant than Renee, too.

"I'll be okay, I promise," I said. "It's better to get it over with."

Charlie hummed again, but let it go. With a hug goodbye, he was out the door. I sighed and dropped my head into my hands for a few moments, trying to calm my nerves. My hands trembled against my face.

More than anything else, I wished I could go to the school without feeling like this. Or that people wouldn't stare in the first place.

I got up and started on the dishes. By the time I finished, it was still too early, but I decided to leave anyway, too antsy to sit around a wait any longer. I grabbed my backpack and rain jacket and was out the door.

The whole drive to the high school, my hands were clenched around the steering wheel, partly because I wasn't used to driving in the rain, and partly because of the rolling nausea I still felt. I tried to focus on the road and let the truck's roaring engine wash over me instead.

The school itself was easy to find, even if Charlie hadn't given me a drive around already. It was small, made of brick buildings connected by wide covered walkways- the complete opposite of the penitentiary-style of my old school.

That suits me just fine, I thought as I pulled to the front of the administration building and parked along the curb. The less reminders the better.

I pulled my rain jacket on over my hoodie and jumped out, glancing around the mostly-empty parking lot. School didn't start for another forty minutes, so only a few people were around now. A good thing- maybe I can make to at least first period without jumping out of my skin.

Inside the plain office it was nice and toasty, and I sighed in comfort, hoping all the classrooms felt the same way. The small space was filled with plants and motivational posters. Behind the long counter dividing the room, a red-haired, middle-aged woman sat at one of the desks. She looked up after a moment.

"Can I help you dear?" she said, smiling.

"I'm Isabella Swan," I said. "I need to pick up my school schedule."

"Oh of course, deary! I have it here." She dug through a messy stack of files on her desk and then walked over to the counter with one in hand. She pulled out several pieces of paper.

"This is your schedule, and here is a map of the buildings," she said, pointing out my first stop with the tip of her pen. "We have a fifteen-minute advisory period every day, it just takes place in your first classroom, and then the class will actually start at 8:30. I've gone ahead and hi-lighted the quickest path between your classes here, too."

I took the papers from her, a little overwhelmed already.

"And here," she handed me another slip, "have all your teachers sign this and then bring it back at the end of the day."

"Thank you," I said, gathering up all the papers. She wished me a great first day, and then I was out and climbing back into my truck outside. Students had started arriving while I was inside, so I followed another car to the appropriate lots and parked as close to the front as possible.

My loud engine left a deafening silence behind when I shut it off, and I tried to take deep breaths so my anxiety didn't fill in its place. Quickly, I looked at the map for the first building I was going to and then packed it and my schedule in my bag, climbing out of the truck. The rest of the school seemed to be congregating under walkways and trees, caching up, but I wanted to be in my seat, away from prying eyes as quick as possible.

I pulled my hood up, ostensibly to block out the continuous rain, and walked as quick as I could without tripping to my first period English class. Thankfully, for now, it seemed my plain black rain jacket didn't draw any attention- it was hard enough keeping my anxiety down in the crowd.

I felt the tension lining my shoulders, and nausea hung in the back of my throat the whole way to building three. If my anxiety was this bad when I wasn't being stared at, I didn't know how I would actually make it through the day once people started.

I can do this, I thought feebly, approaching the classroom door. No one is going to hurt me.

My hands were starting to tremble.

I walked in, noticing immediately how small the classroom was. Only one other student was inside yet, and a man stood behind the desk at the front of the room. To the right of the door was a row of coat hooks, and I slipped off my rain jacket and hung it up. Shivering, I walked over to the teacher, glad for my hoodie.

"Excuse me?" I said quietly. He looked up; the nameplate on his desk denoted him as 'Mr. Mason.' "I'm Isabella Swan. The lady at the front office said I needed you to sign this."

He looked down at the paper, taking it from me. "Oh, of course. Welcome to Forks High, Isabella."

"Just Bella, please." He chuckled, pulling a pen off his desk to sign the paper.

"Of course, I'll make a note of that. Now go ahead and pick any seat, there should be a syllabus already on every desk. Let me know if there's anything you need."

I chose a seat in the back quickly, avoiding the other student's curious gaze. Sitting down, I pulled out a notebook and my schedule, and added the syllabus on the desk to the stack. It looked like Forks High was a couple months behind the curriculum of my last school, but that was alright. I'd always enjoyed reading the classics.

And my schedule for the semester wasn't so bad, either. I had a study hall period for third, which cheered me up some. But gym was going to be a pain I didn't want to endure- unfortunately, it was required all four years here.

I made myself busy as the classroom began to slowly fill, thankfully, seemingly avoiding most of the students' gazes. They were too tied up with their own conversations. Maybe I was over exaggerating things after all, I thought hopefully.

But it was not to be. Just as my anxiety was starting to ease, the bell rang and the last of the stragglers came in as Mr. Mason started roll. The whispers and glances spiked up with my name, and my stomach rolled.

The period was boring and passed slowly, as with any "syllabus" first-day of school. I kept my eyes down, and tried to just focus on the papers in front of me. It seemed to help me stay calm, especially after the class got bored with sneaking looks.

I was ready to leave with the bell though. I didn't rush out to be first with the rest, but I was careful to pretend I didn't see the black-haired boy trying to catch my eye as I walked out.

Honestly, I felt a little bad; most of these kids probably were going to be nice, but I just was not in the headspace for conversation today.

The second period trig passed much the same way, and the tension in my shoulders was definitely starting to settle some. The stares still made me anxious and nauseous in turn, but it was a little easier to breathe.

Especially knowing I had a peaceful study period in the library to look forward to. I meandered to the library, cheerfully thinking of sitting by myself and getting a head start on the chapters from Brontë we were assigned in English.

I ended up being one of the last in the library for study hall, and immediately went to get my slip signed. I was looking around for an empty seat when I heard my name being called.

One of the boys from the store, Emmett, was waving at me from an exterior table where he was sitting with his brother, Jasper. He beckoned me over – very exuberantly – and I could tell by the looks on the other kids' faces that this was, for some reason, shocking.

"Hey there again, Ms. Swan," Emmett said cheerfully when I got close. "You have study hall?"

"Looks like it," I said, smiling at both him and Jasper. I thought the blond seemed a little more reserved than I recalled from last week, but that was probably just me. "Are you both in here too? I didn't realize juniors and seniors shared classes."

Emmett pulled out the chair next to him and gestured for me to take a seat. I glanced at Jasper who, while rolling his eyes at his brother's actions, didn't object, and gingerly sat down. Maybe my paranoia was creeping back, but it seemed like the students behind us immediately broke out into whispers.

"Jazzy is," the senior chortled, "I'm just here to get on Ms. Jackson's nerves."

I laughed, surprised. "What? Who is Ms. Jackson?"

"She's a math teacher," Jasper said. His low voice sent a shiver up my back. "Emmett had her for pre-calc last term, and he chose to be late for every class because she docks points for not showing his work on the homework."

"Ouch, that's harsh," I said, grimacing. I was familiar with that kind of teacher myself.

"Right! I know!" Emmett surged forward, smacking his hand on the table. "All my answers were right, even on the tests! So, since I have her again this semester for calc one, the war continues."

I laughed again. This was the best I'd felt all day; I barely felt the stares of the other kids. On a whim, I leaned in close like I was sharing a secret.

"You know," I said conspiratorially, "a teacher at my old school tried that with me. So, I started showing my work- but I intentionally showed the wrong work, and wrote in the right answer. It drove him nuts."

Emmett's booming laugh surprised my own, quieter laugh out of me. Even Jasper had a smile to share. It was strange- anywhere else, I would have felt awkward and uncomfortable. But it was different somehow with these two, even though this was only the second time we'd talked.

I had to remind myself to reign it in- I didn't really know them yet, and vice versa. They were probably just being nice, and didn't need the new girl being a tag-along.

Just then the late bell rang and Emmett stood up for a long stretch and casually gathered his things.

"Alright, I've got a teacher to terrorize. See you at lunch Jazzy. See ya around, Bella!"

I said my own goodbyes as Jasper waved lazily, already digging a book out of his bag. The giant of a teenager whistled as he meandered out, earning a glare from the librarian and the study hall supervising teacher who was about to give her run down for the period.

As the teacher outlined the rules and called roll, I took out my own book for English and looked around the library. Study hall was a large class, about twice the size of a normal one. Every table in the area was packed full, some kids having pulled up chairs to be able to sit with their friends.

Every table except Jasper's.

And this must have been intentional- because students were still stealing glances and whispering behind their hands to their friends, catching my eye and hurriedly looking away.

I turned away and looked down at the tabletop in front of me. My hands curled into fists in my lap, my mouth suddenly dry. The good feeling floating in my chest dispersed like loose powder in the wind. I could suddenly feel every eye on me as if each were a bug crawling on my shoulders.

Closing my eyes, I focused on counting my breaths.

A foot nudged my chair gently. I jerked my eyes open and looked over at Jasper; he was looking at me from under his eyelashes, and my breath caught for a second at just how handsome he was.

He tilted his head slightly to the side. "You alright?" he murmured.

I cleared my throat quietly, aware now that the teacher had sat down, and people at the other tables were talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Sorry," I whispered, rolling my shoulders to try to relax. You're fine Bella. Stop being such a freak, I told myself harshly, embarrassed to have been bothering him.

"Got nothing to be sorry for, darlin'." He was still looking at me. "You just seemed a little upset about something, is all."

It was my turn to look up at him. Maybe he was just observant, but I knew from years of practice how to school my expressions, especially when in uncomfortable situations. I'd never been called on it before, in particular from someone who didn't know me.

"Noticed that, huh?" I said after a moment. He shrugged a shoulder. "It's the staring. It was easier in my last two classes, but it's just bothering me more now." I tried to sound casual, to shrug my shoulders as though it was no big deal. I wasn't sure how well I pulled it off.

He hummed, and spared a glance around the room. "Well, that's probably partly because you're sitting with me. My siblings and I haven't really socialized with the locals since we moved here two years ago."

"Oh." That made a lot of sense. It was easy to tell Emmett and Jasper didn't fit in with the rest of the Forks crowd. I was willing to bet that extended to his siblings too. "I'm sorry, were you wanting to sit by yourself? I can pick a different seat next time."

He looked at me again for a moment, and then a lopsided smile pulled at one side of his mouth. I quickly looked back down at my book, trying to open it to the right page while willing my blush to disappear.

"No, you're fine," he said finally.

I smiled, and then tried to focus in on the assigned chapters. Just a few sentences from the blonde had eased some of the tension I held- Jasper seemed to be one of those people that were happy to sit in the peace and quiet. Those were my favorite kind of people.

We spent the rest of the class period in silence, both of us reading our books. It was a nice, companionable silence that I hadn't experience in a long time. It was even easier to push aside my anxiety and focus on Jane Eyre.

When the bell rang, I blinked up, surprised time had gone by so quickly. Jasper was already putting his things away in unhurried motions. I scrambled to put Jane Eyre away, pulling out my schedule and map to see where I was going.

"Spanish two with Goff, huh?" Jasper had moved silently to my side of the table to peer at my schedule.

"Yeah, I took Spanish one early," I said. I tucked the schedule and map away; I had a pretty good idea of which way to go, but I'd rather die than be the girl walking around with a map stuck in front of her face.

"I'll show you the way, then," he said, clarifying when he saw my confusion. "I've got that class too."

"Oh, really? Thanks then." I hurried to gather my things, not wanting to keep him waiting. In my rush to stand my foot caught on the leg of my chair, and I stumbled. Jasper's hand caught my elbow in an instant, and an electric zing tingled up my arm from his hand. He pulled back just as soon as I was steady, but my arm still tingled from where he'd touched me.

My face flushed bright red- and it wasn't just from embarrassment. Get a grip, Swan, I told myself. I cleared my throat and murmured another apology.

He waved it off, keeping a bit of distance between us as we left the library. "Out of curiosity," he began, "is that a regular occurrence then?"

I sighed. "Unfortunately," I grumbled. "Coordination and I do not know each other."

He chuckled, and let the subject drop. We walked the rest of the way in silence, and I tried to ignore the students in the hallway turning their heads our way.

For all that the last hour went by quick, this day was just dragging on for me. I was already exhausted from all the tension I was carrying around, and I wanted nothing more than to go crawl back into bed and pretend to disappear.

Strangely, I also wanted a good hug from my dad- not a feeling I was used to.

We came up on the door to Mrs. Goff's room, and the teacher was standing outside it as students came in. I thanked Jasper for showing me the way and he inclined his head with another lopsided smile as he walked in the door. For a split second, I had the image of him tipping a Stetson with the gesture, and the image sent another strange- but pleasant- shiver down my spine.

I shoved the thought away and walked up to the teacher, a middle-aged woman with naturally tan skin and brown curls. I introduced myself and handed the slip over for her to sign.

She gave it a cursory glance, then signed and handed it back to me.

"Seats are assigned alphabetically, go ahead in," she said dismissively, already turning to the next approaching student.

Irked, I went in. To my right, a projector showed a seating chart onto the white board. My seat was in the back of the middle row, right behind someone name Jessica Stanley. Jasper, I was surprised to see, actually had the surname "Hale," and was seated in the first column, in the second to last seat. I wondered if he and Emmett were only half siblings.

The Jessica-girl was already in her seat when I sat down, and turned around to introduce herself. She struck up a conversation about Forks and where I was from, and I tried to play nice and seem interested.

It was just all so exhausting.

Finally, class started, and Goff passed out the syllabus and started going over her expectations. Thankfully, this period also seemed to go quick- since I was in the back, students couldn't discreetly turn to look at me.

When the bell rang for lunch, Jessica quickly turned around and picked up the conversation where it had left off. She offered me a spot at their lunch table, which I accepted after a moment. As much as she seemed a little exhausting to be around, I thought I'd just draw more stares sitting alone, than in a group.

We walked into the cafeteria and got in line for food, a tall, dark-haired girl who shyly introduced herself as Angela joining us. Angela seemed much more my speed, and I found myself actually enjoying her calm contributions to the conversation.

She proved to be a good counterweight to Jessica's exuberance, and the two of them bracketed me as we sat at a table. Jessica introduced me to the rest of her friends as they joined us, but I forgot their names pretty quick.

I was starting to feel stressed again, having more than hit my quote for socializing in the last twenty minutes alone. Thankfully, it seemed most of the student body was too busy with their lunch and conversations to care about me, so I only really had to deal with the strangers at the table. But the crowded room was still stifling.

I looked around, trying to distract myself, and noticed Emmett taking a seat at a table in the corner of the room with, who I assumed were, the rest of his siblings. He caught my eye and grinned, waving exuberantly with one arm while the other dug into Jasper's side. Jasper swatted Emmett away, but met my eyes across the room and nodded at me.

It brightened my own mood and I waved back, much more discreetly. I turned back to Jessica's conversation to find everyone staring at me in shock. My stomach knotted up, and I was suddenly glad I hadn't eaten much yet.

"What?" I asked, defensive.

Jessica leaned forward. "You know Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale? You're friends with them?"

"Uh, no, not really," I said, uncomfortable. "I met them at the Outfitter's last week, and Jasper and I have study hall before Spanish. Emmett was there and we chatted; he seems pretty friendly. Jasper, too- just not as outgoing."

They were still shocked. "Bella," Jessica said, insistent, "the Cullens never talk to or sit with anyone. Ever. Not once since they moved here two years ago from Alaska."

She looked over at them. "Not for lack of trying though," she said, suddenly sounding bitter and jealous. I bit my lip to keep from smiling- I wondered which one she'd been rejected by.

"Well, I just met them. Apparently, Emmett likes to talk sports with my dad- that's how I met him," I clarified, deliberately leaving out the incident beforehand. "Maybe he's just being nice because he likes my dad."

She seemed mollified by the explanation. But now I was curious- looking at the five of them sitting together, it was clear they didn't fit in.

All of them were beyond beautiful, each in their different way. The blonde girl sitting on Emmett's other side was a bombshell in the style of Marilyn Monroe, while the tiny, pixie-like girl and the bronze-haired boy looked like they had stepped off the cover of a magazine.

All five of them were extremely pale, too, I noticed suddenly. Even paler than myself or the rest of Forks.

"Who are the rest of them? I know they're siblings, but they don't really look alike."

"They're adopted," Angela said quietly to my right. "Rosalie and Jasper Hale- the blondes- are actually siblings, and Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew, I think. But the rest were foster kids; that's Emmett, Edward, and Alice. Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen took them all in."

"That was very kind of them," I murmured, awed. Taking in five kids, all roughly the same age, was no small undertaking.

"I guess," Jessica said to my left. "But I don't think Mrs. Cullen could have her own."

I frowned at her. "That doesn't make it less kind," I said quietly, not sure why I was sticking up for these people I'd never met. I looked over at their table again, and it seemed they were talking quietly amongst themselves, no care for anyone else in the room.

Jessica waved her hand dismissively, eager to share more about the Cullens. "Emmett and Rosalie are dating you know," she giggled, "even though they all live together." Her tone told me she thought this was shocking news, and while it was a little odd, it wasn't like they were related. I hummed and she seemed to deflate at my lack of reaction.

"There's rumors Alice is with one of the other boys," she continued, seemingly determined to get some kind of reaction. "They certainly don't have any time of day for the rest of us," she snarked.

The bronze-haired boy, Edward, suddenly looked up as if his name had been called. His eyes landed on Jessica before sliding over to me, and I looked down, ashamed to be caught staring at their table. After all, I knew exactly how uncomfortable that feeling was.

I peaked up out of the corner of my eye to find he was still staring at me, a slightly frustrated expression on his face. It wasn't until Jasper said something to him that he turned away.

The bell rang for the next period, and I was happy to find that Angela also shared biology with me. We stopped in the bathroom on our way to class, chatting quietly. While Jessica had seemed a little too exuberant and, frankly, shallow for my tastes, Angela was a pool of tranquility. Talking with her was easy.

We were one of the last into the classroom, and by the time Mr. Banner signed my slip at the door, there were only two seats left, at different tables. One seat next to Edward Cullen in the middle of the room, and one next to…

My breath hitched; the Outfitter's employee, Mike. I shifted uncomfortably; between the two, I'd rather sit next to Cullen. I turned to Angela.

"Bella," she said before I could begin, an uncertain look on her face. "Would you mind if I sat next to Mike and you Edward? He kind of intimidates me."

I felt a rush of relief. "Yeah, of course. No problem." I smiled genuinely at her, and walked over to my new seat.

A rush of air from the fan in the corner hit my back and I shivered for a moment. Then I looked over and Edward was flat out glaring at me for some reason, stiff as a board. I sat down slowly, confused, and tried to ignore him as I got ready for class.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lean as far away from me as possible without falling out of his seat, a pinched, disgusted look on his face. I started to feel a little embarrassed and hurt- did I smell bad or something? The students behind us had clearly noticed his revulsion as well, whispering to themselves none-too-quietly.

Any peace I'd had from the day was gone, wiped away with this boy's demeanor. It didn't help that half the class behind us were staring- at the new girl who managed to piss off one of the mysterious Cullen-kids, without even saying a word. Nausea rolled my stomach, and a tension headache twinged to life. My hands started to tremble intermittently in my lap.

Edward never relaxed, not once during the hour-long lecture. I couldn't help but to keep glancing at him, confused. Towards the end of the lecture, I accidentally caught his eye, and I immediately jerked my gaze back to Mr. Banner at the front of the room.

His eyes were jet black, hard obsidian. The glare on his face was severe, and sent a chill to my core. The phrase, "if looks could kill," sprang to mind, and I had to swallow hard as the room began to spin, the beginnings of a panic attack coming on.

The bell rang suddenly, startling me, and Edward was gone, the first one out the door. I took a moment to breathe, to calm down, willing myself to make it through one more class before I went home to curl up in my bed and cry.

The stress of the day was too much, and I almost lost it when the Outfitter's employee came up to me.

"Hey there," he said, attempting to be charming. "I'm Mike Newton, we met last week at my parents' store…?"

He trailed off, and I mustered a smile- more like a grimace- as I stood from my chair.

"I remember, sort of." I finally replied, stiff and off balance. Please, just leave me alone. "Nice to meet you."

He followed behind me as I walked over to where Angela was waiting at the door. Her class was in the opposite direction as mine, so, unfortunately, she had to bid me goodbye.

"What class do you have next? I could help you find it." He fell into step beside me, and all I wanted to do was shove him away.

He's not done anything to you Bella, I told myself, trying to get a reign on my fluctuating panic. Any second now, I thought I would be sick.

"Gym," I replied indifferently, hoping he'd take the hint. "But I can find it myself. Thanks though."

The answering grin he sent me sank my stomach all the way to my toes.

"That's great! I have gym too- we can walk together!"

And that was that. There was no way to lose him now, not without being rude, and I couldn't bring myself to do that. Not when I knew he was just being nice.

It didn't stop my heart from trying to beat out of my chest, or keep my hands from shaking in my jacket pockets.

I didn't know if it was my imagination, or maybe just the crowded hallways, but I could have sworn Mike kept trying to move closer to me on our walk to the gym. I kept moving away, only to be inches from him after the next group of students passed.

The uncertainty – was it intentional? was I imagining it all? – left me with a burn in my eyes that I furiously tried to push away. I wanted this to be over. I wanted to go home, away from all of these strangers and their incessant staring; away from this boy whose lack of regard for my personal space reminded me too much of last spring in Phoenix.

Mike's hand came up to graze my elbow, and I jerked away from him, bile gathering in the back of my throat.

Suddenly, it was too much- I needed to get away. Now.

"Sorry," I said quickly at his startled look, mind and heart racing. We'd just passed a restroom on the last hall. "I actually need to go to the bathroom; I'm, uh, feeling sick all of a sudden."

"Oh," he said, expression clearing. "Well, I'll let the coach know you'll be late. See you in there."

I waved and turned around, trying not to seem like I was running away down the emptying halls. But that's all I could think of doing. The warning bell rang as I turned the corner, dodging around three stragglers as I practically fell into the bathroom, blind to everything else.

It was empty, thank God, and I didn't waste any time- in the next second I was in the nearest stall, gagging over the bowl. The room around me spun, and tears dripped out of my eyes, my breath coming in stuttered gasps around the puke.

I couldn't breathe.

Small, cool hands gathered my hair away from my face, and a bell-like voice murmured something soothing I couldn't make out. My whole body jerked in surprise, but another wave nausea sent me back over the bowl, gagging and sobbing in turn.

After a minute, there was nothing left to come up, and I crumpled to the floor, still hyperventilating. The hand in my hair moved to my back, and I cringed away, struggling to gain control of my anxiety and panic.

Please stop, I thought, don't touch me. As soon as I thought it the hand disappeared, and I wondered if I'd actually been speaking out loud. I heard the sound of a toilet flushing, then voices, and I tried to focus on them over the confusing muddle of panic blinding me. I had no idea how much time was passing.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" A man's voice. I jerked again, the sound of my terrified gasp filled the small space, and I tried to find the courage to open my eyes. Please, no. Please don't let me be back in Phoenix with him-

I cracked my eyes open, and through the blurry tears I could see Jasper Hale crouched by me, concern etched on his face normally reserved face.

Relief, so pungent it felt like I was breathing fresh air for the first time. I wasn't in Phoenix; I was in Forks.

"Bella," Jasper called gently, seeing my eyes open, "do you know where you are?"

I blinked disoriented, still trying to regulate my breathing. "On the floor," I gasped, "in the bathroom at Forks High." I paused, suddenly realizing Jasper was in the bathroom with me. "Please tell me I didn't run into the boy's room." I might actually die of humiliation if I did.

He spared me a quick smile. "No, you're in the girl's room. My sister Alice was just here, but you seemed upset by her touching you so she thought a more familiar face would help."

So I had spoken out loud. I closed my eyes again, and tried to control my breathing. Slowly, the panic was starting to bleed from me, and I gingerly sat up, wiping my face on my sleeve.

"Sorry," I whispered. I hoped this wasn't going to be a trend- me, panicking; Jasper, finding me at my worst.

"You apologize quite a bit for things you don't need to," he said back, tilting his head, looking at me curiously.

I didn't reply, looking around. "Is anyone else here?"

He shook his head. "No. Emmett is guarding the door, and Alice went to go talk to your teacher. I hope you don't mind but she dug your schedule and signature slip out of your bag; she's gonna try to get you out for the rest of the day."

I cringed, thinking of all the trouble I'd caused them, relative strangers. Jasper must have seen something of my thoughts on my face.

"It's no trouble of course," he said, a mischievous look coming onto his face. "We were on our way to skip last period anyway. You just gave us a legitimate excuse to be in the halls."

I laughed, a low raspy sound that still sounded vaguely hysterical to my own ears. "Glad to be of service."

He stood up, slowly, and reached out a hand. "Can I help you up?"

I hesitated a second, then reached out to grasp his cold hand. He pulled me up in one move, gently guiding me out of the stall and over to the sink.

I rinsed my mouth out furiously, grateful he was polite enough to look away. When I washed my face, the cold water helped pull my frazzled mind together.

I don't know what it was about Jasper Hale that made me instinctually trust him, but I was glad for it. I didn't question it, because outside of my house here in Forks with Charlie, it'd been a long time since I felt safe with anyone.

"Thank you for helping me. Again." I looked at him through the mirror. "You don't have to, you know. I appreciate it all, but I really don't want to be a bother."

"It's not," he said. "True, my siblings and I normally keep to ourselves, but that doesn't mean we'd ignore someone in need. Besides," he bent down to pick up my bag from where I'd tossed it, "I think Emmett wants to adopt you anyway."

I laughed again, sure he was joking, only to be surprised when Emmett's voice sounded from the other side of the door. "I am considering it," he laughed.

Jasper slung my bag over his shoulder as I dried off my face.

"Now," he lowered his voice, "do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head; talking was the last thing I wanted. "Alright then, let's get you back to your car."

We stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see the small pixie-girl they were sitting with at lunch turn the corner, gracefully speed-walking toward us. She looked at me with a smile as she came up to us.

"You're all set to go home, if you want," the girl, Alice, said. She handed me back the papers she borrowed. "Coach said he understood and that your uniform isn't in yet anyway; you won't be able to participate until it comes in."

That was a relief. "Thanks," I whispered. "For the help. You didn't have to do all that."

She beamed at me, reaching out to give my hand a squeeze. "It was no trouble at all! I feel like we'd be great friends from what Emmett said; and friends help each other out."

I tried to smile back, but I was quickly starting to become overwhelmed again. I just wanted to go home; everything about me felt hollow and wrung out. Like one more thing would send me back over the edge.

He must have some sort of sixth sense for it, because Jasper immediately started guiding me out to the front office. Emmett and Alice trailed along behind us. The walk passed in a haze for me as I deliberately tried to think of nothing.

It was the work of a minute to drop off my slip to the woman in the office. Alice came with me to explain, and I must have truly looked pathetic because she let me off without hassle, telling me to feel better.

Then we were back outside in the cool air, and for once I was grateful for the rain. I tilted my face up, eyes closed, and let the light drizzle calm me.

When I opened them again, Jasper was looking at me, his normal calm expression in place. I smiled at him again.

"Thanks again," I turned to Alice and Emmett, "to all of you. I think I can handle it from here." I gestured to my truck, parked in one of the nearest spots.

"Are you sure?" Jasper's brow was furrowed, his pretty lips pulled into a frown.

"She'll be fine Jasper," Alice cut in before I could answer. "She probably just wants to go home and sleep."

"Yeah," I said, relieved. I wanted nothing more to be alone now. "It's been a really long day for me."

Emmett stepped forward and surprised me with a hug. After a moment, I patted him on the shoulder uncertainly; I couldn't remember the last time someone my own age gave me a hug. He chuckled and let me go.

"We'll work on that," he said cheerfully. "Go get some rest Ms. Swan. I'll expect to see you tomorrow!"

Alice followed his example, ambushing me with a quick hug, gone before I could react. "Bye Bella!"

Then the two were off, strolling to their car in the lot. Jasper and I stood there for a moment, looking at each other.

"I hope you don't mind if I don't hug you," he drawled dryly. "I'm afraid I'm not as exuberant as those two."

I laughed. "That's alright. I'm all 'exuberanced' out anyway."

He chuckled and handed me back my bag. "Well, then I'll see you tomorrow. I hope you have a better night."

"Thanks," I whispered.

For a moment it looked like he wanted say something else. But he just gave me one more long look and then was gone, following his siblings.

I made my way to my truck, crawled in, and started the engine. Its roar was somehow comforting to me. But, I thought as I made my way home, not as comforting as the look in Jasper Hale's eyes.

---

So, I'm toying with the idea of some Jasper perspective in the next one. I feel like ya'll might need some explanation on to why they're acting a little different than in canon. Beyond that, chapter 3 will definitely hold some explanations on Phoenix. I will place some trigger warnings at the beginning of the next chapter, but they will honestly be pretty mild, comparatively.

Constructive criticisms are always welcome. Your reviews and comments fed my inspiration, and I felt a lot less dumb for putting this out there after reading them all. Thank you for your support!

I've decided I'll try to upload every other week- sooner if I can get it, but we'll go for every other Sunday for now.

See you next time. - I.C.