I do not own Twilight, its content, characters, or etc.

Trigger warnings: anxiety, obsessive behavior, panic attacks

CHAPTER 5: Sparks and Uncertainty

When Edward came back Sunday evening, I was expecting a fight.

Alice had seen his return, so even though he didn't call ahead, we were all waiting for him, grim and somber. Emmett and I stood to one side, resolute.

I felt his emotions as he pulled up- sheepish, ashamed, but determined in his course.

I started hiding my thoughts by 'reading' one of my history books aloud to myself in my head once I heard him approach; Edward tried not to actively read our thoughts, but I didn't want to take the chance of him seeing me coming if this talk went south.

Because Emmett and I would take his arms off it meant keeping him away from Bella Swan.

He came in the door and Esme was immediately there, bringing her son into a crushing hug. He hugged her back just as tight, and I felt the remorse from him for causing her pain.

"I'm sorry, Esme," he whispered, replying to whatever she was saying in her head. "I didn't mean to upset or worry any of you."

He let her go only for Carlisle to hug him as well. That was one of the things I appreciated about the doctor- he was affectionate and considerate to all of us. It had taken me a long time to get used to it- I'd never encountered anyone as compassionate as Carlisle before joining the Cullens.

Alice was next prancing forward to give him a hug too, but the rest of us stayed back a bit.

Surprisingly, it was Rosalie who broke the ice.

"Welcome home, Edward," she said, idly flipping another page of her magazine. "Here to kill that girl so we have to move again?"

Edward grits his teeth. "I'm not going to kill her. I can handle it."

Emmett broke the stunned silence that followed first. "You're joking, right?" He laughed in disbelief. "She's your singer, man! There's no shame in admitting defeat here and heading off for a while."

Edward's pride reared its head. "I can handle it! Carlisle is the only one here with better control. I'm not going to let this girl send me away from my family."

I stepped forward, locking eyes with him for the first time. "And if you're wrong, Edward? You're willing to risk her life?"

Edward glared at me. "You're not one to talk Jasper- you're just as much of a danger to her as I am!"

Carlisle frowned at his first born. "Edward that isn't true and you know it-"

I reacted without thought. In the next instant I was shoving all the pain and anxiety and fear Bella had felt during that panic attack last week at Edward. He dropped to the ground with a short scream, cradling his chest and gasping for breath like he needed it.

I knew I was projecting some out- out of the corner of my eyes I saw each of the others react to these feelings too, but much more mildly. As it should be; the brunt of this was directed at my arrogant brother.

After a minute I let it up. Edward was on his hands and knees, glaring up at me.

"That," I drawled, "was how Bella felt Monday after her class with you. She had an anxiety attack in the bathroom right after. Alice, Emmett and I found her. It took her half an hour to calm down." His surprise and guilt felt genuine, at least.

I took another couple steps toward him, this time projecting the fierce protectiveness that Emmett and I felt for this small human. "And that," I said, making sure everyone in the room could feel it,"that is why Emmett and I will take you apart if you're wrong, Edward." I felt Emmett step up to my shoulder, remorseful but resolved.

I knelt to be eye-level with the other male. "So again," I drawled mildly, staring him down, letting him see what I was capable of in my memories. "What if you're wrong, boy?"

Edward glared back, and I felt that he wanted to lash out. But instead, he surprised me.

He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, as though to calm himself down. And it was working, his hurt pride and instincts were being shoved to the back. Determination and sincerity solidified in its place.

When he opened his black eyes, he was much more put together. "I won't be wrong," he said calmly.

He stood and I stood with him. Carlisle stepped forward, not quite getting between us.

"Edward…" he began, trailing off and obviously finishing the thought in his head. Edward nodded his head in reply.

"I'm positive, Carlisle. I wouldn't have come back if I couldn't handle it."

I wasn't the only one feeling skeptic, but it was Carlisle's decision.

The older vampire stared at his son, weighing his decision. He glanced around at all of us, lingering on Alice. The short-haired female shook her head, and Carlisle nodded. Edward was relaxing even as the blonde man opened his mouth.

"Edward will stay, but," he looked severely toward Edward, "you will be taking precautions; hunting more often, and being overly cautious with what you can handle. Is that clear?"

"Yes," we all said. Carlisle smiled, and then disappeared upstairs with Esme behind him. Her relief made me feel a little bad for my actions. But only a little- Edward needed to understand the gravity of his choices.

Emmett bounded forward to clap the mind-reader on the shoulder. "Jasper and I will be watching your six the whole time, buddy," he said it cheerfully- both a threat and a promise. "So come on, let's go hunt for tomorrow."

He dragged Edward out the door, Alice racing behind them. Rosalie got up too, pausing at the door to tilt her head at me. "You coming?"

"In a little while," I said. She nodded and disappeared, and I went upstairs to my room.

I walked in and sat at my desk with a sigh, leaning back in my desk chair. After a minute or two, I reached into my backpack on the floor and pulled out the well-read, marked-up copy of Wuthering Heights that Bella had lent me.

I sat and looked at that book in my hand for a long moment. Carefully, I opened it at random and brought the page to my face, inhaling deeply. Warmth bloomed in my chest like the sunrise cresting over the trees.

It smelled like her.

That morning as all five of us arrived at school, I was on high alert. For once, not for myself, but for Edward. For Bella.

"I'm not going to fail, Jasper," the younger vampire murmured as we got out of the car. "I don't want to hurt her."

I know, I thought to him, which is why you should just let me help you. Like all the times you helped me.

He grimaced, and felt a strange mix of upset and gratitude. I'd hurt his pride with that comment, even as he appreciated the back up.

Alice skipped up to Edward, grabbing his arm in hers. "You'll be fine," she said matter-of-factly. "I know these things."

He let out a short laugh when she winked and dragged him ahead of us to the school. I fell into step with Rose and Emmett, and then blinked. Bella's emotions had just flickered into range, followed quickly by the unique roar of her old Chevy.

"Bella's in a good mood today," I murmured to my companions. Her truck turned a corner and into a parking spot. I could see her smiling to herself through the glass. She was relaxed, and a tad hopeful. No anxiety in sight.

"Do you think she forgot all about him?" Emmett said hopefully, wrapping his arm around Rosalie's waist.

"We're about to find out," I replied. Bella was getting out of the car; any second now she'd turn around and see-

I pursed my lips together as her nerves spiked sharply, stopping on the sidewalk outside the school buildings. Rose and Emmett stopped with me, but Alice kept dragging Edward along. Edward, who's shoulders were tense and feelings were tinged with remorse and self-loathing. He'd either seen in my thoughts how Bella's emotions changed or seen something from Alice.

"She definitely remembers him," I sighed, ignoring our problem sibling for the moment. "I'm going to wait for her, you two can go on ahead."

Rosalie glared at me with suspicion. "And what exactly are you going to say- just the cover story, right? That he was out sick?"

I rolled me eyes her. But Emmett tugged her along with him. "See you after second, Jazzy," he said.

I waited on the sidewalk for a moment, watching Bella out of my peripherals. I tried to remember to fidget, and not just stare. I took my phone out, flipping it open and pretending to text someone, impatient and concerned.

Finally, she seemed to collect herself and started walking again. Her relaxed mood was gone, but she also wasn't as anxious as I'd expected. Was it just the shock of seeing him again?

I put my phone away and casually looked up in her direction, shooting her a smile when our eyes connected. She smiled back, and I couldn't help but admire the way it brought out the warmth in her brown eyes.

"Hey," she said once in human ear shot. "What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you," I said before I could catch myself. "I saw your truck pull up," I finished lamely. What is wrong with you, Whitlock?

She smiled though, and felt a little happier. "Yeah," she laughed, "I doubt many people can miss it."

This was a topic I could get behind, I thought, following her toward her building. "It's a classic Chevy, right? What year is it?"

She laughed again, this time embarrassed. "I have no clue. Char- Dad said it might be late fifties, early sixties. He bought it from a friend."

We reached her building, and I stepped forward quickly to pull open the door for her. I cocked my head to the side, curious. "You call your dad by his name?"

Bella seemed to grimace, reaching up to pull her hair into a messy bun on the back of her neck as she passed me. I caught myself eyeing the graceful curve of her throat, wondering if the skin was as soft as it looked. I forced myself to look away, swallowing tightly.

"Yes," she answered, oblivious to my internal struggle. "It's a habit from when I lived with Renee."

"Your mom?"

"Yes." Bella's mouth set in a tight line. Her emotions rolled- hurt. Grief. Disappointment. Anger.

My hand came up to brush her arm, and when she looked at me, I felt those negative emotions start to fade. We stopped outside her door, stepping aside to let the other students pass.

"I'm sorry," I said lowly, "I didn't mean to pry."

"You didn't," she said. I watched her lips curve up, mesmerized for some inexplicable reason. "And anyway, friends can ask each other stuff like that, right?"

She considered us friends? The thought sent a warm flush through my chest. "I wouldn't really know," I replied, smiling myself now. "I don't have too many friends."

Bella eyed me for a second. "I didn't use to either, before I came to Forks and met you and Emmett," she said. And then she turned tail into her classroom, embarrassment following in her wake.

It wasn't until I passed Alice in the hall going to my own class that I realized I was still grinning. She laughed at me from where she was leaning against the wall next to her classroom, a couple doors down from mine.

"What?" I hissed, defensive.

"If I didn't already know it, I'd know now," she teased. "You are a lost cause, Jasper."

She darted into her classroom before I could ask what she meant.

Growling to myself about pretentious, know-it-all vampires, I stalked into my classroom just as the bell rang.

I kept a better hold on my own emotions as throughout the first two periods. Emmett was already waiting for me when I got out of second, and he kept up a cheerful story as we made our way to the library.

We turned a corner and Bella was just ahead of us, reading a book as she walked. Emmett's grin turned mischievous and he snuck up behind her. I rolled my eyes as he threw an arm around her shoulder and she yelped in surprise.

"Don't you know it's dangerous to do that, Miss Swan?" He teased. "What are you reading anyway?"

He pulled the book out of her hands, marking her place with his large thumb as he did so. I could see from here that it was the book I'd lent her. The sight made me feel inordinately pleased.

I lengthened my stride to come up on Bella's other side, idlingly listening to them bicker. Bella smacked Emmett lightly with the book, then shot me a quick eye roll at Emmett's expense when he proceeded to dramatically act wounded. I rolled my own in silent commiseration with her.

Time seemed to slow for a moment when, across the hall, I caught sight of Edward going in the opposite direction. He was looking at Bella with frustration, and I knew- both from his emotions and from experience being his sibling- that it was mainly because he still couldn't read her thoughts.

Mainly.

Edward, I called to him mentally. Beside me, I felt it when Bella noticed our other brother. Her nerves ticked up a notch, and she stepped almost imperceptibly closer to me.

His gold eyes shot to mine, and I simply stared at him. He rolled his eyes but turned to face the way he was going, and then was gone. I led our group into the library to our usual table.

I was waiting for Bella to immediately ask about him, but to my surprise she didn't. She kept on talking to Emmett as we sat, dragging me into their petty squabble about reading being too "nerdy," according to the large vampire. It wasn't until after third period had started and we were alone that she brought it up.

"So. I guess your other brother is back then?"

I looked up at her; she was staring intently at her book, but peeked up when I didn't answer. I leaned back in my chair, trying to gauge her. She felt nervous, of course, but curious.

"Yes."

She waited a moment for me to elaborate, but I was hesitant.

"Was he sick?" she finally asked.

I looked at her, and found I couldn't just give her the company line we'd prepared for the rest of the school. It felt too much like lying, and I couldn't lie to Bella. The thought of lying to her just felt so intrinsically wrong.

"That's what we're telling the rest of the school," I said slowly. Bella cocked her head to the side, curious. I hesitated, uncertain on what to say.

"It isn't my place to explain," I finally murmured, glancing down at the table and back up at her. "But he was dealing with something…personal last week. He's still dealing with it."

"Oh," she said, quietly. It looked like she wanted to say more, but bit her lip instead. Her emotions were a nervous mix I couldn't quite pin down. When she looked away, I nudged her chair gently with my foot. She met my eyes again and I quirked a brow at her.

"It's just…" she paused. "That what you're telling the school, right? Why not just tell me that?"

It was my turn to look away, embarrassed; but again, I told her the truth.

"I didn't want to lie to you."

I could smell it when she blushed, and, clearing my itching throat, I had to look at her. She made such a pretty picture, all pink-cheeked and embarrassed. But her feelings told me I'd made the right choice- gratitude. Trust. Affection. Affection.

You are way too old to be flustered by this slip of a girl, Whitlock, I told myself. But that was the truth of it, however unlikely it seemed.

"Thank you, Jasper," she whispered shyly, a pleased little smile on her face.

"O' course, darlin'," I said back. Anything for that smile.

Alice was right- I was a lost cause already.

Jasper and I walked to Spanish again together, as we'd done every day before. While it still garnered some looks, it was surprising how quickly the rest of the school got used to it.

In Spanish we learned Mrs. Goff was assigning a project on each other's families. Most of the class groaned about it, but I was worried. I didn't want to talk to anyone about my mother in particular, not when so many ugly secrets could come out. All these people were relative strangers, even Jessica, who was absent anyway. The only person I'd want as a partner was-

I was already looking at him when Jasper turned around in his seat. He did that eyebrow-lift thing he did so often, and then gestured between us with his index finger. I smiled and nodded yes, he winked one amber eye and gave me another of those lopsided smiles I was becoming so fond of.

And really, I was becoming fond of everything about him. From his blue jeans and boots that he wore every day, to the way he was quietly content to just sit with me in silence. It was so nice to just be around him.

Especially today, when I thought I was going to jump out of my mind with worry when I saw Edward was back. But talking to Jasper before school distracted me, and during study hall it eased my mind a lot.

It turned out the walk to biology was the worst part of the day. Even at lunch, I'd just directed all of my attention to either Angela or the tabletop, studiously ignoring the corner of the room where the Cullens sat.

When Jasper had told me about his brother earlier, I'd had to make a conscious effort not to wasn't my business after all, though I couldn't help but feel I was the reason for Edward's disappearance. The 'something personal' he was dealing with.

How arrogant, Bella, Renee's voice hissed in my ear. Not everything is about you. And this time, I thought, the voice was right. Edward didn't know me from Adam, there was absolutely no reason for me to assume I was the issue.

From what I'd gathered, his reaction to me last week was as abnormal as he got; likely, he'd just been have a very bad day, and like all of us mere mortals were wont to do on occasion, took it out on someone who didn't deserve it.

And yet nerves still twisted my stomach into tight little knots.

Resolved to ignore my childish fright, I sat at the still empty table. I'll ignore him, I determined. There can't be any problems if I just ignore him. I got out my notebook and started setting up the page for the day's notes.

When his chair pulled out a few minutes later, I kept my eyes down. When he cleared his throat uncomfortably, I kept my eyes down. There can't be any problems if I just ignore him, I repeated to myself.

"Excuse me," his musical voice called from my left. "You're Bella, right? Jasper and Emmett's friend?"

At that my hand stilled. Slowly, bracingly, I turned my head to look at him.

It was the eyes that struck me first- they weren't black any more, but bright amber, the exact same shade of Jasper's and Emmett's. Strange considering they're all adopted, I thought vaguely.

His expression was still…stiff. But not mean, there was no glare on his face. But like he was uncomfortable, and trying to be polite. My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Yes," I said. "And you're their brother."

"Edward," he supplied, a charming little smile on his face. Clearly meant to be disarming, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

"Nice to meet you," I said shortly. And I turned back to my book as Mr. Banner greeted the class and began taking roll.

Did they ask him to be nice to me? It was the only reason I could think of that someone who obviously didn't like me or even want to be near me would try to strike up a conversation. But no, I couldn't imagine them saying that, not when I'd intentionally kept quiet on how Edward had acted last week. And there was no reason for him to tell them about it.

The class passed slowly. Mr. Banner wasn't feeling well, so for the last twenty minutes he said that as long as we were quiet, we could talk amongst ourselves while we took notes on the assigned chapter reading.

I opened up my textbook, intent to get as much done as possible, when Edward's voice cut in.

"So," he began, "I wanted to apologize for my behavior last week. I wasn't feeling well, and I took it out on you."

I paused looking at him. I hadn't expected an apology. It was on the tip of my tongue to be abrupt again, but I remembered what Jasper told me earlier.

"He's still dealing with it."

I pursed my lips. As much as my gut told me not to trust Edward as far as I could throw him – the exact opposite of my gut reaction toward Jasper – I also knew I couldn't trust that reaction completely.

My experience last spring with Andy had left me more distrustful and paranoid than not. It was unusual that I instinctually trusted anyone like I did Jasper and Emmett, so I knew that was a response I could trust.

But getting past the gut reaction of "danger" was harder, even though most people weren't dangerous to me. Afterall, Mike had initially produced the same response, which had turned out to be nothing. And, in all likelihood, Edward was the same situation, and if that was the case, I didn't want to hold one bad day against him.

He's not Andy Richards just because he frightened you once, Bella, I thought to myself, decided. Edward would get another chance, if only because he was Jasper and Emmett's brother, and I cared about them.

The bronze-haired boy was starting to look both uncomfortable and frustrated at my silence.

"I forgive you," I said quietly. "Jasper mentioned that you weren't feeling well, and I won't hold one bad day against you."

He smiled a little, still stiff. "Thank you."

I nodded and turned back to my work, convinced the conversation would be done. It wasn't.

"How are you liking Forks so far?"

"It's wet," I said, dryly. He huffed a laugh.

"If you don't like the wet, why did you move here?"

He sounded amused, but when I glanced at him from the corner of my eye that amusement seemed mixed with the same frustrated confusion as earlier.

"To live with my dad," I said, hoping he'd drop it.

"Why move in with your dad when you only have two years of school left?" He asked, leaning forward.

"Are you always this nosy?" I retorted. I couldn't help but draw the parallels between his pushy questions and Jasper's courteous concern from this morning- and Edward was not looking great in comparison.

Edward blinked and pulled back, shocked. But before either of us could say anything else the bell rang, ending class. I packed my bag up, but Edward was out the door before me.

I frowned at his back. From cold shoulder to too curious- this guy was as hot and cold as it got.

Mike came up to me then, careful to keep his distance, and I smiled at him.

"Hey Mike," I said.

"Hey Bella. Did you understand any of that chapter, or is it just me?"

I laughed, and we spent the walk to gym complaining about it. It wasn't that hard for me, but mostly because Phoenix was a semester ahead, it seemed.

This week in gym was my first time dressing out. My uniform had come in last Friday, but the coach had given me the extra day. I would have felt more appreciative if we weren't doing the PACER test today.

I lost count of how many times I tripped on my face during it. I spent most of the class just watching my competitive classmates push themselves to being the last one standing. Mike lasted pretty long, and I gave him a big high-five when he slumped on the bench next to me, exhausted. In the end, one of the girls on the track team and a football player ended up tying for the 'winner,' and we all cheered when they sank to the floor.

I think it was the best time I'd ever had in a gym class.

Afterward, Mike and I headed out to the parking lot, him going on again about a final trip out to First Beach before the cold weather came in. In my opinion, the cold was already here, but he just waved me off when I said that.

Suddenly he looked surprised. "What's Cullen doing at your truck?"

For a moment, I thought he meant Edward Cullen, and dread pooled in my stomach. But it was Jasper, leaning against the hood, staring directly at me. He smiled when I saw him, lifting his Spanish book in explanation.

"Ah," I said, relieved. "We're partners for a project in Spanish. He probably wants to figure out a schedule for it or something."

Mike nodded, still looking astonished. He turned to go and I waved goodbye, already heading over to my truck and the handsome blonde.

He was still looking over my shoulder at Mike when I got close. "I'm surprised to see you and Newton so friendly," he drawled. At my confused look he added, "You were running from him two weeks ago."

I flushed. "Well, honestly he and E- someone else, were the reason I flipped out last Monday too." I cleared my throat. "But I had a talk with Mike Friday about personal boundaries and how he was making me uncomfortable. And he listened."

Jasper just hummed, looking at me now. "I'm glad he did," he remarked lightly. "Or I might've had to have some words about respect with him." One side of his mouth twitched up just a hair.

A pleasant shiver ran up my spine at the thought, and my heart sped up. Jasper's eyes darkened a shade.

"Well," I stuttered, sure my face was on fire now, "it seems he wasn't doing it on purpose, so you'll have to save your lecture for someone else."

"I suppose I will," he said, straightening up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "Here," he handed it to me. "that's my phone number. Carlisle already has Chief Swan's, unless you have a cellphone…?" I shook my head no. "Well, I thought we could call each other tonight after we get our family's schedules and work out what would be best."

Part of the project would be meeting each other's families, where possible, so that we could actually describe them in our own words.

"Okay," I said. "I'll call you after I talk to my dad."

He stepped away. "Then I'll talk to you later, Bella."

We waved goodbye and I loaded up in the truck. It took a while for my face to cool off and my heartbeat to return to normal, but the happy feelings in my chest didn't fade.

I took my time getting home, humming to myself. It was Charlie's turn to make dinner tonight, so all I had to do was my homework, and then I was free for the evening.

Charlie had even changed his schedule around so that he'd be home more when I was. He still had to work every other weekend, but he was home around five most days, unless he was covering his few evening shifts or overnights. That didn't happen often- they had them on rotation for the team, and some people just preferred the night shifts.

Likewise, Charlie liked early morning shifts, so he had more than a few of those; it was one of the few perks of being police chief that he actually used. He was fair in every other respect, though, and I knew the town loved him for it.

Today was one of the days he went in early, so Charlie was already home when I pulled up.

"Hey dad," I called, shoving my jacket off and onto the hook by the door.

"Hey Bells!" he called from the kitchen. "I hope you're okay with an earlier dinner- it'll be ready in about an hour."

I wandered in, laughing at the sight that greeted me. Charlie was covered in flour- it seemed fried fish was the order of the day. I should have known after his fishing trip went so well on Saturday.

"You sure you can handle this, dad?"

He waved a spatula at me reprovingly. "I am a fish frying machine, missy. You'll see." He winked and then turned back to the oil he was heating in a large pot.

"Okay, I believe you," I said, sitting down at the table. "By the way, what would be a good day this week for me to bring a friend home to meet you?"

He hummed distractedly. "Like for dinner?"

"I mean, I guess? We hadn't talked about it yet. It's for a Spanish project where we have to describe each other's families in a presentation."

"Who's the kid?"

"Jasper Cullen."

That got his attention. He turned so he could look at both me and the oil. "Yeah? You sure this is just for a project?"

I sighed, flushing. "Yes, dad. We're just friends," I hesitated, before admitting quietly, "he and Emmett and Angela are the first real friends I've had in a long time."

"Aw shucks, honey," Charlie came over to give me a hug. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. Thursday or Friday works best for me, since I work the weekend. I assume you'll have to go over to theirs, too?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna call him now, then go do my homework before dinner."

"Alright, well go on then. I've got to make sure I don't burn the oil."

I headed over to where the phone hung on the wall the kitchen and living room shared. It wasn't cordless like the one I'd had in Phoenix, but it's curly cord should be able to stretch enough that I could take it into the living room.

Not that I have anything to hide, I thought as I punched in Jasper's number. My heart pounded in my chest just a little too much for that to be completely believable, even to myself.

"Hello?" His low voice in my ear sent another delicious shiver down my back.

"H-hey, Jasper? It's Bella."

"Hey, you heard back from the chief already?"

"Yeah, he comes home earlier a few days a week. He said either Thursday or Friday works for him. Do you want to just come over for dinner?" I caught myself starting to twirl the cord around my finger like a 1980's chick-flick star and shoved my hand in my pocket instead.

"Actually, Esme- our mom- is really big on family dinners together here. But I could come by for a few hours right after school if that works for you. And maybe we could do Saturday afternoon here? We should all be home then, even Carlisle."

"Yeah, that all sounds good to me. I'll let dad know. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Have a good night, Bella."

"You too, Jasper."

I tried to will my face to cool down before I went back into the kitchen, my heart racing all over again from a two-minute phone call. What is that boy doing to me?

When I finally went to put the phone back on the hook, Charlie took one look at me and snorted to himself as I made my way upstairs.

"Just friends my ass," he muttered behind me.

When I tell you that this chapter came to me slowly and in bits and pieces. I had to take a break for a few days after the last chapter, and then I just did not know where I wanted to start.

I would really appreciate any feedback you give me here! I like the way it turned out in the end, but this was not an easy chapter to write.

As usual, all of your comments and reviews carried me through though! Thank you all so much, and I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts on this chapter.

See you next time! -I.C.