Remus wavered between Sirius' irate expression and Molly's disapproving one. His surety of purpose had evaporated. "She was...you don't understand, go upstairs and look at what happened…"

"And she'll talk about it if she wants to."

"Does no one care that she's going to get herself killed?" Remus demanded.

"She's an Auror, Moony! She's a lot more prepared for all of this than we were at her age. Hell, she's better trained than half the Order. I don't see you getting all worked up about anyone else taking on risks."

"No one else has almost died recently, have they?"

"And if they had, you'd offer them a kind word and some sympathy and that would be that. You wouldn't yell at them at every opportunity and deliberately stand in their way once they were back on their feet, now would you?"

Remus glared.

"Go on. Try and tell me that's not exactly what you've been doing. Maybe you should just offer a little comfort and then try minding your own goddamned business, Moony."

"I'm hardly the one she wants comfort from right now, am I?" Remus retorted hotly.

Sirius drew back, frowning. "What?"

"Nevermind," Remus muttered, but it was too late.

"You think that...she and I…? Moony, I swear to God, if you were any more of a pillock…" Sirius raised his hands as though he'd like to strangle Remus with them. He raked them through his hair instead. "Pull your head out of your arse before someone else does it for you!"

With a withering glare, Sirius stormed out of the kitchen, yelling, "Shut up, you harpy, before I burn you to a bloody cinder!"

Remus continued to stand there, uncertain, listening to the sounds of Sirius and his mother shouting at one another. Molly was busying herself at the stove, disapproval radiating from her every movement, and Remus knew that any hopes he'd had for gaining support were all for naught. Molly wouldn't even meet his eyes.

"She's not ready," he tried feebly.

Molly slammed a pan down on the stove top, her back still turned. "Sirius is right. Try minding your own business."

Coming from Molly, that was almost too much, but there wasn't much he could say in his own defense.

Feeling lost, he Apparated up to his room. Tonks had left the house. He had no idea where she might have gone. She could be anywhere.

Restless and uneasy, he began to pace back and forth with too many unanswered questions and uncomfortable truths vying for space in his thoughts.

Tonks let herself into her flat and stared around in dismay. She didn't remember leaving it such a mess. Dirty dishes, unread mail, piles of books, and everything coated with dust. Plus a lovely odour that said something in the fridge had gone off. Kingsley knew she was a complete slob, thank Merlin, or else she'd be completely mortified that he'd been in here.

She wandered into the bedroom and saw the dirty laundry strewn everywhere, smelling of sweat. Scratch that. Complete mortification.

With an overabundance of pent-up energy to work through and the knowledge that her rubbish housekeeping spells wouldn't do much here, she started attacking the mess with a determination she usually reserved for her job. At least this was a battle that wouldn't end in a panic attack. Or she hoped not, anyway.

What was she going to do? she wondered as she shoved laundry into a hamper. If she couldn't work through this, her career was over. But who could she talk to about it? And if confronting the issue head-on was something that had to be done, then she needed a partner. Someone she could work with, someone patient, someone who had gone through this, and most importantly, someone who could keep their mouth shut and wouldn't rat her out.

Well, that left one obvious person, didn't it? And Sirius even had rooms that no one else went in.

Some of the lingering panic from the morning receded. This didn't have to spell the end of everything she'd worked toward. Remus could go bugger off. She was sure he meant well, which was the only reason she'd left him standing earlier. Still, she wished he'd stop being so fucking contradictory. Telling her to keep fighting, then telling her she wasn't ready. Saying he wanted her friendship and then picking fights every time they were in the same room.

She'd never met a man like him. He was something straight out of a Gothic novel: tragic past, wasting disease, scars and all. It was enough to make any woman think twice. Melancholy heroes might be all well and good in a book, but if he was anything to go by, they were irritating as hell in real life.

Dirty laundry taken care of, she started gathering dishes and dumping them in the kitchen sink. And why was she thinking of him like a romantic prospect anyway? She wasn't looking for any relationship, much less one with someone who positively screamed "commitment issues." And if all she wanted was a fling, it wasn't going to be with anyone in the Order.

It certainly wasn't going to be Remus.

She slammed a glass down hard enough to crack the bottom.

Insufferable, controlling, temperamental…even a sexy, gravelly voice couldn't make up for all that. A romantic partner? Yeah, right. She wanted him to read her a bedtime story, maybe. And there was no arguing that he was a good partner on a mission, he'd proved that more than enough. But sleeping with him?

With a muttered spell she fixed the crack, tossed her wand back on the counter and finished washing up.

Why was she thinking about sleeping with Remus?

Sexy voice notwithstanding, she wasn't even remotely attracted to him. And his behaviour toward her was…

Well, it was intolerable. She wasn't sure why she bothered to continue this…whatever it was they had. He was a complete ass.

She stalked back out to the sitting room. At the moment, it didn't seem worth it.

But even the thought of putting an end to the connection between them made her heart twist painfully.

Huh.

She stopped and thought about that. Okay. So something inside her definitely didn't like that thought. He meant something to her, even if it was beyond her to begin to define it. She couldn't pretend he meant nothing. It wasn't in her nature to lie to herself.

She caught sight of herself in the wall mirror. Well…most of the time, anyway.

Fine. So she'd gotten firmly attached. Once she decided to be friends with someone, that's usually what happened. She was loyal to a fault. Nothing strange there. It was just…

This didn't feel like friendship.

This didn't feel like anything she'd ever experienced before, especially considering that most of the time, she didn't even like him. And she was pretty sure he felt the same. How could two people be friends when they couldn't stand each other half the time?

She'd come so close this morning to throwing the punch he'd been begging for.

It wasn't like he'd been subtle. He might as well go around handing out pamphlets to match the whole public campaign he seemed to have going. DANGER TO THE PUBLIC…AND HERSELF! DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY AND TAKE A STAND!

All he needed was a damned soap box.

An overly vigourous dusting spell knocked a dead plant off the coffee table, scattering clumps of dirt all over the rug underneath.

"Son of a bitch!" she exploded, not entirely sure whether she was talking about the plant or Remus. She'd be generous and pretend it was the plant.

This wasn't helping. While her flat was certainly tidier, her thoughts were not. What she wanted to do was stop thinking altogether. Thinking hadn't done her any favors so far today.

She headed for the kitchen and grabbed something out of a cabinet. This dilemma at least had an easy solution.

"No, no, put more stress on the second syllable," Sirius corrected her, the words only slightly slurred despite the half bottle of Fishburn's Flaming Rum in his system—something he'd refused to drink at first on the grounds that it was a "girly" drink, only admitting after Tonks threw several stinging hexes that the last time he'd had it, he'd nearly lost both eyebrows and sworn off the stuff forever.

Tonks was far worse off after only three shots—and wasn't that monstrously unfair—and could barely pronounce any of the syllables, regardless of order. She tried again and the entire house of cards in front of them not only collapsed but turned different colors, while several of them grew wings and began flying around the room.

Sirius yelled as one divebombed his head. Tonks found herself giggling uncontrollably, listing further and further to one side until she ended up lying on the floor. Since they'd been sitting on the floor anyway, this could have been worse.

Sirius jabbed his wand into her leg before going back to shooting cards out of the air. "Don't just lie there, help me!"

Tonks raised herself on one elbow, snorting with laughter, and casually brought down the last three with a few well-aimed firebursts.

One landed on Sirius' foot, smoldering around the edges.

He kicked it away, dousing it and the others with a spray of water. "Look at have achieved fire. And it only took inebriation to do it."

She grinned so wide her cheeks hurt. "Go me!"

"Now, just smuggle a bottle into work every day and you're all set."

"Fuck off," she laughed, lying back down.

"No, no, you're failing to see the potential here-"

A light rap at the door interrupted him.

"Sirius?"

Tonks shot up to a sitting position and motioned frantically at Sirius, who looked from her to the door and back again with a speculative glint in his eye.

I will murder you, Tonks mouthed, or tried to.

Sirius ignored her. "Come in," he called, his smile decidedly malicious.

It was clear that Remus had known she was in there, if the disapproval stamped on his face as he opened the door was anything to go by. He took in the bottle, the glasses, the scattered cards.

Tonks wondered, staring up at him, just how much further his frown lines could deepen. It was oddly appealing.

"Kingsley wants a word with you," he said, toeing a sodden, charred playing card.

"I did that," she blurted out. With some difficulty she scrambled to her feet. "I burned it. You said I couldn't."

His lips thinned as he struggled under some strong emotion, but to her surprise said nothing. She forgot about Sirius and stumbled forward, furious all over again and nearly pitching herself straight into the arms of the target of her anger.

"Don't tell me what I can't do, Remus," she told him, wishing now she'd had less to drink. She'd been told before, on multiple occasions, that she made an adorable drunk. That was all well and good when flirting with strangers at a pub. It was a little inconvenient when trying to be taken seriously by one of the most critical people on the planet. "I can do a lot of things you think I can't."

Remus had reflexively caught her by the arms. "I didn't say you couldn't."

"You said…you…" Sudden dizziness swept over her. What time was it? "Oh shit."

In a panic she knocked his hands away, fumbling in her pocket for the flask of potion she had there. Her legs started to tremble and weaken as she took a large gulp, willing herself to stay upright until it could take effect.

Slowly the world steadied around her, although everything was still slightly fuzzy around the edges. She capped the flask with a relieved sigh.

"What is that?" Remus demanded.

"Er, it's uh…medicine? I forgot to take it earlier."

He looked over at Sirius, who shrugged.

"Is that something you should take after you've been drinking?"

"Umm…no, probably not," she bit her lip. "I…I should probably eat something."

He caught her again as she swayed on her feet.

"Why don't you take her downstairs and feed her before she falls over," Sirius suggested.

Tonks could see the shadow of a smirk playing with the corners of his mouth and vaguely wondered what he was playing at, but lack of food, too much alcohol and waiting too long to take her potion wasn't a good combination. "Yes…food…nnngh."

The two men continued speaking to each other, saying something she could no longer follow, although she got the impression that they were arguing.

Remus arguing…nothing new there…

She had started to tip forward when the world compressed painfully and then disappeared.

A/N: DANG, PEOPLE. I would say that I can't wait for 2021 to be over, except that we all said that last year, and look what happened. So I'll just say, maybe September will be slightly less craptastic and leave it at that. It has been a month. The good news is, I have a buffer. The tiniest of buffers, but still. I'll take it.

Thank you all for being so patient. This has been an incredibly rough year for so many people, and fanfic is one of the escapes that a lot of us use to cope with anxiety and stress. I get it. It's one of my escapes as well. I'll do my best to keep this updating as smoothly as possible, and maybe help ease that burden for all of you a little bit. Stay strong, lovies. Reach out if you need to.

As always, thank you for reading and reviewing.