![]() Author has written 15 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Saiyuki, Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter. Name: Jesse A. Harper Occupation: Hunter, Companion (As in the Doctor's traveling companion. Get your mind out of the gutter, perverts!), Traveler, and on occasion... angelic babysitter. Trust me, you don't want to know how that last one happened. Age: 22 Eye Color: Green Nationality: Irish Real Name: Ha ha, very funny. Seriously though, just how stupid do you think I am? I will give you one hint though; it begins with one of the letters of the alphabet. And no, it is not Jesse. Location: Earth. (Or sitting in the backseat of a '67 Chevy Impala, watching the landsacpe of some random state go by, take your pick.) Favorite Anime: Rurouni Kenshin, Spirited Away, Fullmetal Alchimist, Howl's Moving Castle, Samurai Deeper Kyo, Saiyuki Favorite TV shows: NCIS, Numb3rs, CSI: Miami, House, New Amsterdam, Bones, White Collar, Chuck, The Mentalist, Band of Brothers, Castle, Doctor Who, Supernatural Favorite Movies: Indianna Jones I, II, III, and IV, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, all four Pirates of the Caribbean, Failure to Launch, Holes, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Road to El Dorado, Sahara, The Chronicles of Narnia, Ferris Beuler's Day Off, Secondhand Lions, Evolution, Star Wars (The origional ones, not the new ones), National Treasure, Ice Age, Jurassic Park, Man of the House, Men in Black I and II, Back to the Future I, II, and III, Hidalago, Zathura, Transformers, Ghost Busters, Stargate, The Rock, Jame Bond: Die Another Day, The World Is Not Enough, and Casino Royale, Brother Bear, Paul Favorite Bands: Cold, Linkin Park, 3 Doors Down, Maroon 5, Staind, Three Days Grace, Paramore, Skillet, Puddle of Mudd, Within Temptation, Red, Nickleback, Rev Theory, My Darkest Days, Adelitas Way, and Breaking Benjamin Theme Songs to My Life: Sooner or Later and I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin Likes: Running, swimming, diving, softball, archery, soccer, learning Japanese, kendo, writing (that one's a no brainer), and drawing. Dislikes: Flamers, incest, yaoi, and yuri. Those are the things that you cannot get me to touch even with a mile long pole. I just have a problem with the pairing up of two perfectly straight characters in a story. Incest disturbs me even more than yaoi or yuri does, so I don't even read it. Personally, I agree with Vic Mignogna's, Edward Elric's voice actor, opinion of Yaoi. “I don't understand it. I don't like it. And I feel like it somehow...takes something away. That it desecrates the original intent of the creators. Y'know? They create these incredible characters, and people wanna twist them, pervert them into something that they're not. I don't appreciate that.” Ed and Mustang... their relationship is more parental than anything. Mustang is probably the closest thing that Ed has ever had to a father, and Ed and Envy... well, they just hate each other's guts. End of story there. And on a similar note, I don't even want to go into how seriously and utterly wrong the Sam/Dean and Dean/Castiel pairings are. Seriously people, Sam and Dean are brothers, and Castiel is an angel. Guy-on-guy relationships and these three are two very non-mixy things. Same goes for any pairing with Gabriel that is guy-on-guy Favorite Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester (he reminds me of my brother sometimes with the stuff he says), Seely Booth (because David Borneaz is friggin' awesome), Castiel, the Doctor (9th and 10th), and Gabriel (the Trickster). Characters that I'm not too fond of: Ruby, Zachariah, Raphael, Martha Jones (she's just too... whiney, for me, although she did get better when she got older), and Amy Pond (too clingy). Yes, I am a girl... and damn proud of it too! Fire Hose Okay, I just had a really good friend of mine get flamed by some idiot that wouldn't know the meaning of 'fanfiction' even if you hit him over the head with it, so I feel the need to put up this warning on my profile. I have a very low tolerance of idiots, and one of the best ways to tick me off is for someone to just randomly flame me for no reason, other than the fact that they have no life. Anyways, here's my policy on flamers: If you truly believe that my fanfiction has problems, then do me a favor and leave constructive critisism, not 'Oh my god, this fic totally f#ing sucks!' And that is not in invitation to use the 'f'' bomb every other word either. I know that I may not have the cleanest mouth around when it comes to some of my work, but I still try to refrain from using that word as much as possible. So yeah, cussing me out does not impress me, nor does it lend any credence to your argument. Quotes (from movies and other sources too numerous to mention) "We pull upon the risers, "So burning the body had no effect on that thing?" - Sam “If you meet the buddah, kill the buddah… If you meet your father, kill your father. Free of everything, you are bound by nothing. Live the life that is given to you.” – Sanzo, Saiyuki "Sometimes, when people are complete assholes to you, all you need to do is smile, be polite, and show the sons of bitches that you have better manners than they do." - my grandfather "Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on baby, I taste gooood!" - Dean Winchester, Supernatural "Here's another curse: may all your bacon burn." - Calcifer, Howl's Moving Castle "This ain't spaghetti. This is Army noodles with ketchup." - Perconte "I didn't know people actually read emails--the delete button is so conveniently located." - House, House "I happen to be humanity's last great hope." - Cale "More than once, James suggested that I make the change permanent. The tail, I could live with, but the fleas, they're murder." - Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban "When I was certain he was going to kill me, my mind went blank, and I didn't have any hope anymore. And the only thing I could do was scream my lungs out. I felt so helpless, I couldn't even bring myself to believe someone might save me. Then you showed up, Al. And I realized that if we don't take care of each other, then no one else will. So I'll do anything in my power to get our bodies back, even if it means being the military's lapdog. And we'll just have to hope our powers are good enough to help us rise above our own limits. Cause we're not gods. We're humans. Tiny, insignificant humans who couldn't even save a little girl." - Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist "Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I'm going to whack you with a spoon." - Missouri "Insanity is always fun, because people don't know how to react to it." - Me "Ooh, two points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score." - Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Master Sergeant Feury, during your last physical examination we discovered a severe case of athletes foot... and we now believe that it is affecting your brain." - Hawkeye, Fullmetal Alchemist "So, fake U.S. Marshall. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?" - Officer "Yeah, I want to save her. I'm morally bankrupt." - House, House MD "Hey! Hey, you want some white meat, bitch!? I'm right here!" - Dean, Supernatural "Sobel's a genius. I had a headmaster in prep school who was just like him. I know the type." - Nixon "Is this the part where I say who's there and something creepy happens?" - Spike, Angel "She needs to sort out her priorities." - Ron, Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone "Hey guys, I'm glad we're going to Europe." (takes out his knife) "Hitler gets one of these right across the windpipe. Roosevelt changes Thanksgiving to Joe Toye Day, pays me ten grand a year for the rest of my fucking life." - Toye, Band of Brothers "You have offended the bucket ghost." - Me (said to my brother while watching Most Haunted) "So the butt bleed is just a nose bleed?" - Foreman, House MD "Hey, Skip! Where ya been? I've been lookin' all over for you!" - Malarkey "Welcome to Earth." - Will Smith, Independance Day "I once executed two people, two doctors. "There are no sides, just patients." That's what they said as they treated our fallen enemies in Ishbal. But the people they were healing would just rise up again to fight us. The military asked them to stop, but they wouldn't. And their makeshift hospital was becoming a den for insurgents. I got my orders in the morning, and I shot them that night. After that I tried to kill myself, but I was too much of a coward. So I took an oath instead: to never follow unreasonable commands again, to reach a position where I wouldn't have to follow them, and I stayed true to that. I'm not chasing you because I was commanded to. I'm doing it because I'm pissed. Now why the hell did you two run away without asking for my help first?!" -Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist "That, ladies and gentlemen, is why you carry a gun around with you." - Luke (talking about an episode of Bones) "Where are your boots?" - Doc Roe "Bugger." - Spike, Angel "Oh, hey, Chuck, look. If you really want to publish more books, I guess that's okay with us." - Sam “Gojyo, remember that these monks of a very devout order.” – Hakkai "This is gonna sound nuts, but we don't have the time for the whole the-truth-is-out-there speech, so..." - Dean, Supernatural "I don't want to cause a lot of injuries unnecissarly. All those who don't like visiting the doctor should retreat now." - Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin "No, you don't get it, thats why I'm telling you. You think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?" - Kakashi, Naruto "So we gotta search local newspapers, public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill." - Sam "Besides, the ones that love us never really leave us. You can always find them..." (puts hand over Harry's heart) "in here." - Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban "Well if it ain't my little buddy Benny. I think I'll kill you." - Rick O'Connell, The Mummy ""Don't do anything stupid"?" (referring to Buck) "Who the hell is he talking to? A bunch of morons who volunteered to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. Can you get any more stupid then that?" - Alex Penkala "Never get between a man and his fiber." - Numb3rs "I need a wise saying, what's a wise saying?" - Toad "Don't worry – Dean's going to clean up this mess. Well what are you waiting for, boy? Grab the mop." (Dean glares silently) "And don't cuss at me!" - Missouri, Supernatural "Can you fly?" - Angel, Angel "Americans." - Johnathan, The Mummy "If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." - House, House MD “WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS FIASCO?!” – Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist "Might not be one of ours. It might be just some freak medical thing." - Sam "You know, for an inteligence officer, you're not very inteligent." - Zeva, NCIS "Oh no, a ghost. Pfft. It takes a mite more to make me wet my knickers." - Spike, Angel "The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed-off spirit…is the pissed-off spirit of a psycho-killer." - Dean, Supernatural "Lucifer... you are my brother and I love you. But you... are a great big bag of dicks." - Gabriel "Tell him 'fine, there's no way that I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex'." - Ed, Fullmetal Alchemist "You have an air of destiny about you." - Tia Dalma, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest "Old Ironside still kicks ass!!" - Fire Ice (Clive Cussler) "I'm going to start wounding you now. I'm not sure when I'll stop." - Aeris, VG Cats "Alright, I'm just gonna go through some files, you can go ahead and get going." - Sam "I'm going to be sick now. Please make room." - Black Mage, Nuklear Power "Piss off!!" - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "I think we're close to its lair." - Dean "I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" - Jack Sparrow, Dead Man's Chest "Behind this mask... is another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" - Kakashi, Naruto "Stabbity death!!" - Black Mage, Nuklear Power "No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90 percent of your personality." - Sam, Supernatural "Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one." - House, House MD "Coward! The odds of a ship docking are a thousand to one!" (a ship pulls into the docking bay) "And... that would be a one." - Cale, Titan A.E. "Boys, if you don't knock it off, I will pull this car over, and you can walk to your painful deaths from here." - Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Stay back: I'm allergic to stupid." - a T-shirt "My dad is going to kick your ass." - Alex O'Connell, The Mummy Returns "There's something foul in the air." - Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist "THE IRISH ARE HERE!! DEFEND YOUR VIRGINITY!!" - Bishquet, "When Obsession Becomes Reality" by The Bish "I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you." - Dean "Damn it, there are so many idiots whose asses I need to kick!! I'm going to have to start keeping a list just to keep track of them all!!" - Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist "I never did like camels. Filthy buggers; they smell, they spit, they bite." - Johnathan, The Mummy "Hey, who wrote 'gullible' on the ceiling?" - my older brother, Jake "Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try to do better. To forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino." - Gabriel, Supernatural "Wherever there is hope, I will stop it! Where self-esteem rears its shiny head, I will be there to kick it in the testicles!!" - Christopher Titus "Hi, I'm Jimmy from next door. I just wanted to welcome you to the building, and... if you need any weed, just come over and ask me." - some stoner college frat boy "So this is how you spent four years of your life." - Dean "Use the Force, Luke." - Me "Are you alright, Brother?" - Al "School prepares us for the real world, which also sucks." - A 'Happy Bunny' t-shirt "Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. " - House "So, how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?" - Kat "Uh oh, train wreck. I want to look away, but I can't." - Tony DiNozo, NCIS “Listen here, you little blockhead! Let me remind you you’re flammable.” – Gojyo, Saiyuki "I feel like I should, bow, or have honor, or something." - Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Destroying lives doesn’t bring lives back! We all just need to live and be content while we can.” – Ed, Fullmetal Alchemist "Hey, I gotta question for ya. You've seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?" - Dean Story Quotes “Well… that was new.” – Anna (as she sits down with Remus at a table in a coffee shop) “A-frickin-mazing. You expect a damned wand, but you don’t expect a shotgun. What is this world coming to?” – Anna, "Out of Time" “Er… Sirius, I don’t think that’s the proper use of a toaster…” – Remus (while he and Sirius are out in the kitchen) “Black, one of us will be dead by the end of this week, and it definitely won’t be me.” – Anna, "Out of Time" |
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