A/N: So chapter 42 has been updated. I changed a scene and added a couple more. The word count is 4k+ now, so...it should read like a whole new chapter.

03:00 am

The cloying metallic smell pierces his senses as soon as the door opens.

The floor is wet.

The tub is overflowing.

There's a blade in the sink.

Its edge slick with blood.

Blood smeared on the ceramic. Blood on the floor. Smudged like someone slipped on it.

There's a girl in the tub. Convulsing in the pink water as the last of her life leaves her.

Her skin pale as chalk. The whites of her eyes showing as they roll to the back of her head.

He doesn't reach her fast enough.

Her skin has a sick cool smoothness to it when he touches the back of her neck to lift her head out of the water.

"Where is she?" he hears a woman whisper. The words echo off the walls. "Where is she?"

Kai pats her thin paper-white cheek calling her name. Trying to wake her.

"What happened to my baby?" asks the woman in a loud whisper. Sounding close to his ear.

She is utterly still in his hands. Her mouth slightly open. Expression frozen in a state of despair. Ropey black hair stuck to her forehead.

"It's not your fault," says another whisper. This time Yuriy's. "She was going to do it anyway." He'd lain a hand on his hand. "It's not your fault."

Kai attempts to lift the girl out of the water. She is heavier in death than she was in life. He fits an arm under her knobby knees.

It is his fault.

Her hand tumbles to the side as he raises her. The wrist slashed. The blunt blade worked hard to gnaw through veins and ligaments. Her arm hits the edge of the tub with a thud of bone hitting enamel.

Kai's eyes open in alarm.

He can hear the tub running. Not in the dream anymore. It's running inside the suite.

He sits up and flips the switch to turn the lights on, immediately turning to check on the other side of the bed.

The sheets are rumpled. And empty.

The sound of rushing water is loud in his ears.

Kai strides out of the room, down the hallway, to the bathroom. Where the sounds of another overflowing tub is coming from.

His first instinct is to bang on the locked door, but he raises his hand to the wood and curls his fist at the last moment. Knocking gently.

"Tyson?" he calls, his voice comes out calm and leveled.

He swallows down the rising panic as he listens for sounds from the other side of the door.

There's no answer.

His pulse spikes.

He knocks again. "Tyson?" A little louder this time. Less controlled.

All he can hear is the water. Pouring onto the floor like rain.

When he doesn't get a response the third time, he knocks hard on the door. "Tyson! What are you doing in there? Open the door!"

He thinks he hears something. Something like footsteps.

"Tyson! Open the damn door before I break it!" he shouts, his knuckles rapping against the wood.

"Fucking hell" he mutters to himself, brushing his mouth against the back of his thumb for a moment.

He tries the handle. It's still locked. There's no point. He has to break it open. He takes a deep breath. Backing away from the door.

At that very moment, the door clicks unlocked and the wood swings in to reveal Tyson in his bathrobe. Eyes wide with worry.

"Kai? What's going on?" he asks as Kai walks in, immediately seizing his arms and pushing the robe back to bare his wrists, checking them. Making sure the skin there is still uninjured and unblemished.

Tyson watches him in shock as he gives him a thorough head to toe without taking his robe off. Some of the tension leaves Kai when he sees that Tyson's perfectly fine. His body unharmed.

"Kai, what's going on? You're freaking me out."

"What were you doing?" he asks him, stepping back. His eyes fall on the tub, edges blurring under the cascading water.

"I was taking a bath," answers Tyson, his gaze filled with concern and bewilderment.

"At this hour?" he prompts. He casts the tub another glance. "Why is it overflowing?"

"I was-" Tyson turns to check what Kai is talking about, and when he sees the tub he has a surprised look on his face, like he didn't realize he'd left the tap running. "Oh!" He goes to shut it. "I couldn't sleep since I slept all day and so I decided to clean myself up," he explains as he turns the tap off. "I'm sorry I left the water running. I turned it on to fill the tub while I was shaving. Then I started listening to music and I forgot about it." Kai sees him looking at the sink.

He glances at the sink. His phone and earphones on the counter beside it. There's a razor balanced the edge. There's no blood on its blade. Kai closes his eyes for a moment.

"Kai-?"

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No"

"You can bathe in the morning," he says, holding a hand out for him. Beckoning him outside. "Come on"

At first he looks like he's going to protest, then he must see something on Kai's face because he closes his mouth and follows Kai out the bathroom silently.

He doesn't understand. He's never seen Kai act like that before. So unlike himself. There he was, trying to tidy himself up after a lazy Sunday full of lovemaking when he hears loud knocking on the door. And Kai's voice. Kai's voice shouting at him to open the door.

There was live panic in his face when he entered the bathroom. Eyes bloodshot and body tense like he was expecting something horrible.

He'd walked in wordlessly after threatening to break down the door moments ago, and checked his arms like he was checking him for wounds.

He hadn't blinked or breathed out till he'd made sure he was fine.

Tyson crosses his arms and takes a deep breath when he walks into the bedroom. Kai's sitting on the edge of the mattress. Drinking a glass of water. His gaze on the floor.

He seems like he's back to himself again. But there's a rare vulnerability around him.

Tyson pads across the floor quietly and takes a seat beside him on the bed. Careful not to make any loud noises or big movements.

Kai's examining the half empty glass of water in his hand. Tyson watches as he closes his eyes and stays like that.

He moves closer till his lips are brushing the fabric of Kai's shirt on his shoulder. Observing him silently from under his lashes.

"What was that about?" he asks gently, his voice a small whisper.

Kai sucks in his own lips against his teeth. Gaze on the glass. He's thinking. A light frown on his forehead. He gives a slow shake of his head, but it's less of a response to Tyson than it is to himself.

Tyson watches as he lifts his gaze and looks at the wall across the room. The lines around his mouth are sad and downturned. It makes his heart ache.

He wraps an arm around Kai's shoulders. Pressing his lips into his shirt.

"It's okay" he tells him. "Whatever it is, it's okay." There's a lump in his throat.

He sees the corner of Kai's mouth quirk up at that. Empty of humour. Empty of light. It's a sick smirk. He shakes his head again, but this time he says, his voice a gentle rumble in the dark, "You have no idea what you're talking about. It will never be okay."

Tyson raises his head when he hears him, wondering what he means. He rests his chin on Kai's shoulder. Silently observing him. "What am I talking about?" he asks quietly after a second.

Kai turns his head to look at Tyson. His eyes liquid black, and sad. Sad. "If I tell you, you'll leave me," he says, his eyelids closing at the end of the sentence. His nose brushing Tyson's. It's a confession. It's a statement. He's so sure of it. So sure it feels like he's already given up on him.

Like he's already letting him go when all Tyson wants to do is gather him closer. And learn him.

"Try me" he urges, touching his lips to Kai's. "Try me"

A/N: Originally, I was planning to publish five chapters in a row and then go on a hiatus. But life had other plans for me. I hadn't written in a while and so it took me a minute to get used to thinking like a writer again. This chapter may seem like it's out of the blue and it is supposed to feel that way. Like you woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare and the feeling lingers. Back to back updates coming soon. Because I want to round this arc up nicely. So to get us all in the mood. We will take it like this. One small chapter at a time so it's neither overbearing nor too boring, but you will remember the FEELING and it will stay with you.

Also, the last chapter's ending will be redone. It did not go the way it was supposed to and I didn't get a chance to rewrite it sooner. But I will do it before the next chapter goes up.