"Don't even get me started on that bag of bones. He tries to play up the creepy factor with the whole cloaked skeleton and deep voice thing but he is hopelessly addicted to gambling. He once got himself enslaved to a couple of ten year olds for a few years over a game of Limbo." Komachi's story faded into a series of giggles.
Taylor laughed at the stories of the other psychopomps. Apparently the entire group was largely made up of a bunch of hopeless fuckups, at least according to Komachi, and the stories she was sharing were really undermining her concept of the solemnity of death. Honestly she wasn't sure how she felt about the tales, she had issues with people who were incompetent at their jobs. But it didn't really matter losing herself in Komachi's infectious laughter was easy and preferable to thinking about the disaster that was her life.
She felt her mirth end abruptly as the boat came to a stop. She looked up and saw that they had arrived at the far bank without her realizing.
Komachi's laughter had also stopped with the boat and she stood up and stepped off the boat, her face serious for the first time since Taylor had met her. Quietly she said, "Come with me, I will take you to meet the Yama."
Taylor stood and stepped off the boat. "The Yama?" she asked, mostly to keep herself from thinking about what came next.
"Yamas are the ones tasked with judging the lives of mortals." Komachi gave her a quick smile, "Don't worry, Eiki is a fair and honest judge."
Taylor nodded, fair was good, fair would send her to Hell, where she would be punished for her choices. And once she had suffered her punishment, and only then, she could finally allow herself to forget what she had done.
Taylor stepped onto the bank only for the mist to suddenly vanish and for her to find herself in a field of flowers under a calm blue sky. Looking around Taylor saw no end to the field despite the clear air. As she turned she noticed that the river had vanished and the flowers extended behind her as far as they did ahead.
She took a step back so that she would once again be on the shore of the river but instead of being back at the river she remained in the field. Silently she turned back to Komachi who stood waiting patiently a few steps ahead and began walking towards her. As she approached Komachi spoke, "This is Higan. You will stay here until your judgement is complete."
Having said that, Komachi turned and started walking, Taylor following behind silently. After a short time Taylor saw their destination in the distance, a woman standing alone in the field.
As they got closer Taylor got a better view of the woman. She was around the same height as Taylor herself with short green hair. She wore a deep blue dress that almost reminded Taylor of a military uniform and a cap on her head that somehow looked both frilly and formal. In one hand she carried a metallic rod shaped like the blade of a thick flat sword and covered in symbols. Her face was a picture of serenity as she watched their approach.
With each step forward Taylor felt her certainty grow. She was approaching the fate she had earned.
Komachi stopped a few feet away from the woman and began to speak as Taylor took the last couple of steps forward, "Oh great Yama, I bring to you Taylor Anne Hebert. A woman who has waded through the depths of sin and risen to the heights few souls have ever seen. I ask you for mercy in your judgement on the life of this heroic soul."
Taylor felt surprised by the words and glanced over at the shinigami. Komachi in turn shot her a smile before momentarily resting a hand on her shoulder and turning to walk away. Taylor turned her attention back to the Yama who's eyes seemed to follow the retreating Shinigami, a perplexed smile on her face.
A moment later the Yama turned her attention back to Taylor, "I cannot remember the last time Komachi bothered to formally introduce a soul to me. And to Herald you as a Hero no less, she must really like you."
Taylor felt a moment of surprise at the informality of the statement. She had assumed her judgement would be starting off with much more fire and brimstone than this. Feeling like the Yama expected her to respond, Taylor asked, "Does her request matter?"
The Yama smiled calmly as she answered, "Officially no, but it is never bad to have the backing of a psychopomp. Even one as lazy as Komachi." Taylor let out a small breath. It wouldn't matter. This was to be the ultimate judgement of her life, there would be no escape for her here.
The Yama's expression grew serious as she continued. "Taylor Hebert I am Eiki Shiki, the Yamaxanadu. The judgement of your life has fallen to me. As you crossed the Sanzu River I reviewed your life and stand ready to give judgement. Are you ready to hear it?"
Taylor nodded stiffly in response, and Eiki began to speak her voice stern and formal, "Taylor Anne Hebert, to call your life exceptional is to call a hurricane naught but a small breeze. In many ways it defies Judgement. In the hours that led up to your death you robbed thousands of their free will and forced them to face death. Hundreds died under your control, wishing with all their might that they could do anything in the face of their oncoming demise, but unable to so much as twitch. As your end approached you were a monster, the embodiment of a Tyrant, forcing your will upon the world and denying others the chance for their souls to gain salvation by rising to the occasion put before them."
Taylor closed her eyes and let the words wash over her. This was right, she was a monster, she would face her punishment and maybe she could be purged of this regret. She felt a tiny stir of primal fear in her core at the thought, but she crushed it. She deserved this fate.
Eiki continued, "Humans often claim that the ends can justify the means but for most this is a simple rationalization. An excuse so that they might live as they wish and not face the reality of their impact on the world. You are an exception, even as you became a monster you saved more lives than you can comprehend. Your choices and sacrifices brought salvation on a scale far beyond your imagination, and gave justice to the souls of countless other worlds."
Taylor strangled the swell of pride she felt before it could truly form. She did not understand where Eiki was going with this. Sure she had saved some people but it had to have been unnecessary, the Path to kill Scion existed, Contessa would have found it without her interference. She was just another monster.
"As your end neared your heroic soul shined bright. Your methods may have been monstrous but during the battle you still sought to save those that you controlled. You may have convinced yourself that you saw them as nothing but tools but I can see the wounds you gouged into your soul for each and every of their deaths. At the end of your battle when you stood victorious, you once again chose the path of self sacrifice, and abandoned the world you saved so you would never replace Scion as the threat to it."
Taylor felt hope blossom within her unbidden at Eiki's words and struggled to crush it. This was wrong, she was a monster. She needed to be punished. She wanted to scream at Eiki that she was wrong, that she had sacrificed nothing and forced others to carry the burden. But her voice would not come and Eiki's words continued unabated by her struggle.
"Taylor Anne Hebert, for the sins you have committed I grant you absolution, for the deeds you have accomplished I give you thanks. By my Divine Right granted to me by the Ministry of Right and Wrong as the Yamaxanadu I, Eiki Shiki, break you free of the chains of reincarnation and grant you leave to rest in the Netherworld until such time that you find Enlightenment and are able to enter the gates of Heaven. Go forth from this with pride, oh most heroic of spirits."
The words hit Taylor like a hammer and she felt her knees buckle at the blow. She looked up at Eiki and asked the only thing she could, "Are you sure?"
Eiki smiled sadly at the question, "To be quite honest Taylor, no I am not. You are a long way from Enlightenment. But the reality of the situation is you saved more lives than any human soul ever has before. We cannot reincarnate you into a life that would equalize your karma because one such as that will never exist."
"So I don't actually deserve this, it is just some fluke of the numbers. I am just a monster who is getting lucky because the system is broken, is that it?" Taylor let the familiar anger strengthen her. "You never even bothered to mention the rest of my life, all of the people I robbed and brutalized, all the times I looked the other way as my friends did terrible things, you didn't even mention the time I murdered a child. This is just a way to make your job easier."
"That is enough, Taylor." Eiki's voice was strict but full of compassion. "I do not break the chains of reincarnation lightly. Your life was steeped in the shades of grey, you often tried to use your noble goals to rationalize your terrible sins. You are far further from Heaven than you are from Hell, but that does not change what you have accomplished in the end. Your actions have granted untold numbers of souls the chance to earn their own absolution during this cycle."
Taylor latched onto Eiki's words, "This cycle. I heard Komachi mention that before and I think I understand it now. Even if I had failed and Scion had destroyed all of the Earths it wouldn't have actually mattered. At some point Earth would have been reborn and humanity would have had another chance."
Eiki pulled out a mirror and held it up to Taylor, "That matters not. Taylor Anne Hebert, witness what you have saved."
The world around Taylor warped and she found herself in the middle of a market, all around her people were going about their lives. Children played in the street, and the adults haggled at the stalls. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a thin young girl palm an apple while the shopkeeper studiously looked in another direction. The world shifted and Taylor found herself in the middle of a forest, the sounds of life all around her, in front of her a mother bear played with her cub. Again the world twisted and she was in a hospital watching an old woman hug her grandchild, tears in her eyes as the doctor whispered to the boy's father that the woman would not make it through the night.
Again and again the world changed, Taylor found herself in cramped apartments and large manors, at the bottom of the ocean and tops of mountains, in tiny villages and cities larger than any she had ever seen. She saw hope, despair, charity, anger, love, passion, and cruelty. It was terrible, it was beautiful, it was Life.
She staggered as she found herself back in Higan. Looking around left her feeling somewhat hollow when compared to what she had just witnessed. It was beautiful but it felt flat compared to what she had just seen before.
Taylor turned back towards Eiki and wiped the tears from her cheeks before turning back towards Eiki.
"I knew what I was trying to accomplish when I made those choices." The words sounded hollow in Taylor's ear but she continued anyway. "That doesn't mean my actions were not terrible."
Eiki shrugged, "You have done terrible things Taylor, you are right to regret many of the choices you have made. But without you none of what you have just witnessed would have occurred. Can you really claim that the total sum of your life did more harm than good?"
"I ca-" Taylor felt the lie die on her lips as the blade of Komachi's scythe emerged out of thin air a short distance behind Eiki. Moments later the blade plunged downwards cutting a hole in reality that hurt to look at.
Out of the tear Komachi flung herself at Eiki pulling her into a big hug as she shouted, "Eiki, I knew you would forgive Taylor's sins. I know how much you hate judging things that are morally grey but she saved pretty much everyone. How could that be wrong?"
Eiki's expression grew annoyed, she lifted her rod and lightly smacked the shinigami on her head. Komachi gave her an exaggerated look of stunned betrayal as she fell to the ground and started rubbing her head.
Eiki rolled her eyes at the antics and said, "I should have known it was too much to hope that you could remain professional for more than a couple of minutes."
Komachi stuck her tongue out at the Yama in response. Eiki turned her attention back towards Taylor, an amused smile on her face.
Taylor opened her mouth to protest again, only to be once again interrupted by Komachi, "You have to be the most stubborn soul I have ever heard of. To think I am actually witnessing someone trying to argue their way back into Hell. How about you stop actively suppressing any emotion that threatens your self loathing and actually deal with the life you lived?"
Taylor argued back, "I am not suppressing anything. I just deserve to go to Hell."
As soon as the words left her mouth Eiki appeared before her an arms length away. A moment later Taylor felt a winced in pain as Eiki smacked her on the top of her head with her rod.
Eiki spoke, "I have just punished you for the lie you just spoke, so now you must release it. That is what you want, yes?"
Taylor opened her mouth to reply but as she did so she felt herself unconsciously do as Eiki bid and from the small crack that doing so caused she felt her walls collapse. Pride and joy at the world Eiki had shown her, relief at the knowledge that she had saved her friends and father, hope that the world would become a better place without Scion's influence. It all mixed in with her anger and regret sweeping away any semblance of control she had.
Desires flooded forth, new and old, petty and noble, everything she had set aside in her quest to save the world and even more besides. She wanted to scream about the unfairness of being killed after she saved the world. She wanted to go to those who sought to hold her down and shove the proof of her triumph in their faces. She wanted to crawl under her covers and sleep forever more. She wanted to hug her father and her mother. She wanted to let every person she had controlled punch her in the face. She wanted to shoot Contessa in the head. She wanted to try and make friends with the other Wards. She wanted to beg the Undersiders' forgiveness for abandoning them. She wanted to shove Sophia into a locker.
Taylor collapsed to the ground, sobbing openly. A moment later she felt Eiki crouch down next to her pulling her into a light embrace. Taylor leaned into it and started crying on the Yama's shoulder.
Finally after what felt like an eternity Taylor was able to find her voice. Quietly she asked, "I really did stop the end of the world, right? All those terrible things I have done, all those choices I regret, they weren't meaningless?"
Eiki gently stroked Taylor's hair as she responded quietly, "Yes, Taylor, you saved the world."
With the final confirmation Taylor felt a weight she hadn't realized she had been carrying lift. And for the first time since her mother had died she felt it. For one sacred shining moment Taylor Hebert was at peace.
A/N: So this was originally intended to be the halfway point for the chapter but it started to run long and I liked ending at Taylor's moment of peace. I am slightly worried it might give off the wrong impression about Taylor and Eiki's opinions about some of Taylor's choices but I think I was able to make it clear enough. Writing Eiki's judgement was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be. Until I made it focus on Taylor's actions during the Golden Morning it kept either being a vague rambling mess or threatening to turn the chapter into a Worm clip show.I don't think I quite nailed what I was going for with it but I am content with how it turned out.
Also the weirdest thing I learned while doing research for this chapter. Despite what every single piece of fan art would have you believe, Eiki is canonically quite tall. She probably has a couple of inches on Yukari.