Cozy

"Ouch!"

"Hold still Shigure." Yuki frowned as he applied rubbing alcohol to Shigure's damage.

"You're lucky you didn't break something. It would take forever to get to a hospital with all this snow."

"I know Yuki...I'm so sorry!" Shigure mocked

Yuki threw the bottle of rubbing alcohol back into the basket. Shigure had left behind basic first aide supplies, amongst other things.

"Why did you leave so many random things behind?" Yuki asked with disinterest.

"Can you keep a secret?" Shigure smiled.

Yuki looked over at Shigure- "Sure. As long as it's legal. Wait...on second thought, don't tell me. That way they can't beat it out of me."

"No it's not like that..." Shigure said, eyes closed. He was starting to sober up.

"Okay. What?"

"Sometimes I come back here to hide."

Yuki's brow raised. "From what?"

"Well...I would imagine that you would understand, Yuki."

"Akito I bet." Yuki said with a frown.

"Well every man needs a break once in a while right?" Shigure laughed.

Machi flashed through Yuki's mind.

"I don't know how you ever had feelings for Akito in the first place."

"You know I like chaotic women."

"Oh yeah? Want mine?" Yuki replied with a deadpan tone.

Shigure smirked and then had serious look.

"How bad is it Yuki?"

"C'mon Yuki. No one else is here. Tell me."

Yuki looked out the window. Haru was gathering fire wood.

No answer.

Shigure nudged Yuki's shoulder. "Yuki, the scary one is outside. Tell me".

Yuki turned his head towards Shigure, eyes narrowed to the floor.

"It's...just not the same."

Shigure kept his eyes locked on Yuki.

"Have you ever...I mean, is it normal to just no longer feel anything anymore? Have you ever felt that way with Akito?"

"Well...the flame does dim after a while. But the fire should keep going." Shigure replied.

"You still love Akito?"

"With all my heart. Do you?"

"Hell no. You think I want to stick myself where you've been?"

"I meant Machi, Yuki."

"The fire is out. I'm not sure there was ever even a spark." Shigure nodded is head as he took a sip of tea.

Yuki looked up at him, annoyed.

"What makes you think you know anything about that?"

"Yuki, I know how you feel about Tohru. I've known since you were both in highschool. It was pretty transparent Yuki."

Yuki looked at the ground again.

"She loves that shit head."

"Kyo has been though some hard times Yuki. Try to be more understanding. I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to want others to be happy. Being sour over others happiness will only make you more miserable. You don't want to dwell in jealousy. It makes you weak."

"You call that happy!? Am I the only one who knows what's really going on!?"

"Yuki, she loves him. Regardless of what he has done, or is doing, it cannot be denied that she loves him."

The words stung Yuki like a knife. He knew it was true. He would never understand it, but it was true.

Shigure put his arms around Yuki. "Sometimes you have to find yourself. Look at the things that you do have. Don't focus on what you don't have."

Yuki looked up at Shigure.

"Do you like having Akito?"

"Yes"

"Well, what if you didn't like having her?"

"You have to do what you feel is best for you Yuki. Sometimes being on your own can be a better option."

Yuki nodded.

A burst of cold invaded the room. Haru had slammed the door open.

"Let's get cozy cousins." Haru said with a soft tone, although he had just violently threw firewood on the ground- causing a loud racket.

"Do you think we will be able to leave tommorow?"

Yuki felt a little sad. Part of him wanted to stay for awhile. Being there made him feel closure to Tohru.

"The snow plows should get the job done overnight." Shigure replied.

The fire roasted and the men had some cider from Shigures dusty pantry.

Yuki reclined back in the sofa, with a furry blanket. He imagined Tohru snuggled next to him.

His eyes started to get heavy.

It felt amazing to know he was going to sleep that night. It was probably the best he had felt in days. No night shift. A warm fire. Somehow a wieght had been lifted from Yuki. Not all of it though.

******************************************************
-The next morning-

"Rwahhhhhhh!" Shigure yawned.

The morning was bright and felt crisp.

Yuki felt refreshed and determined.

"Let's go see Tohru before we all go home." he said as he put on his jacket.

"Let's leave her be Yuki. Kyo called me last night and gave me an update. She's going better and will be discharged this morning."

Yuki felt deflated. She probably would be gone by the time they got there.

"I'm hungry. Anything in the pantry?" Haru said while he yawned.

"Nope. IHOP?"

Yuki and Haru nodded their heads in unison.

"Oh wait no...Covid."

Yuki and Haru both looked sad.

The drive felt short for Yuki. He didn't want to go back to his college town. To Machi. He felt so sad he almost wanted to lay his head on Haru's shoulder. Sort of.

They arrived at Yuki's car, thankfully still there alongside the road. Yuki felt a little relieved to see that no one hijacked it or hit it.

"Well...I guess I won't see you guys again until New Years." Yuki said, trying to not sound heartfelt.

Haru hugged him. Yuki let him.

Shigure went over to Yuki and Haru started the car.

"You call me anytime. Okay cuz? If that robbery or girlfriend has you feeling on edge, you talk to me."

Yuki nodded his head.

They all go into their cars and drove away.

Yuki turned on his stereo and let the music blast away. He wanted more than anything to see Tohru again before he went back to his apartment.

It wasn't going to happen. Kyo wouldn't let it happen.

Kyo...

Yuki thought back to what Shigure had said.

There really was no denying that she loved him.

How could she love someone who treated her like dirt?

Machi treated him like dirt, and he knew he didn't love her.

Machi...Machi had to go.

Yuki started to get a headache. Trying to wrap his head around how he could be done with her.

To think that he was going to be a father to a woman he couldn't stand.

Yuki pressed on the gas a little harder. The road was practically deserted. He had it all to himself. It felt good.

After a long drive, Yuki was back at his apartment.

No Machi in sight since he got there.

Yuki picked up his cell. He had been nervously itching the call her all morning. Just holding the phone made his palms sweat.

He dialed her. After four rings he heard her voice.

"Oh Yuki! Hi! I'm so sorry you guys had to feel like you had to come all the way out here! I'm feeling much better, they thought I was going to have to stay a lot longer, but with all the covid stuff they needed me out of there as soon a possible! I'm okay though really!"

"Oh no...I hope they didn't skimp on caring for you Tohru..." Yuki was starting to feel more worried.

"Oh I"m fine! Really!"

"I would have liked to seen you this morning...I-"

Yuki was interupted by the sound of laugher.

"Oh Kyo! Stop!" Tohru laughed. Kyo was laughing in the background.

Yuki was pretty sure he could hear kissing.

"Oh stop it! Hahahahahaha! I"m on the phone with...my coworker!"

Yuki raised his brow. Why did she have to lie?

Yuki could hear Kyo in the background. "C'mon princess, let's finish our breakfast while it's hot."

The happiness sounded genuine. Yuki couldn't deny it.

"Um! Oh my gosh! I'll call you back okay!? Thank you so much for worrying about me!" Tohru laughed and hung up.

She didn't even let him say goodbye.

Yuki looked at the wall blankly.

It was time to put what Shigure said into action.

Be happy for others...

Yuki felt confused...was he only seeing what he wanted to see? Did he imagine everything? The cheating...the spitting in her mashed potatoes?

Yuki flopped back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"She really is happy..."

BANG!

Yuki jumped up. Loud noises did a number on him since the robbery. He was jumpy.

Yuki looked out the window, still feeling a sad numbness from Tohru and Kyo's laughter.

Machi.

Yuki continued to look out the window.

Should be let her in?

Yuki sat up from his bed and put in his earphones. He snuck out the back door. It was time to listen to run and listen to some metal.