"Troublesome."
Shikamaru had been relatively happy with how they had managed to blend into the background once Ino had stopped her bossy antics and let Naruto be.
This whole exam business was just a worrisome affair, and he firmly believed that their team should avoid attracting unnecessary and unwanted attention.
Sure, their entrance had gone a bit against that, but the pros outweighed the cons then. Now however...
"Get away from Sasuke-kun, Ino-pig!"
"If it isn't Sakura... Same ugly forehead as ever..." Just troublesome.
"What did you say?"
Should he interrupt them and explain why what they were doing was so stupid? On the one hand, it would be bothersome and he'd only get yelled at for simply stating the truth, but on the other hand, Ino was his teammate, so if she painted herself as a target the whole team would end up attacked.
While he was confident in his abilities and those of Naruto and Ino, he was smart enough to know that there were good chances that many of the older teams could wipe the floor with them. That is if his goggle-wearing teammate didn't pull other awesome skills out of his ass like in Wave.
Still why go looking for a fight when they could sneak by in the shadows, hiding from everyone else, like ninja were supposed to? Why did he become a ninja again? Oh, right; his mother and his father. Troublesome parents, they'd have had heart attacks if he came out saying, "I want to be a civilian".
Not that he really wanted to, because as annoying as it was, being a ninja also gave him the opportunity to protect his village and his friends.
Losing them while he could prevent it would be... irritating. It would really piss him off, even more than sunny days without clouds.
He was distracted by a dog barking. Akamaru and Kiba were joining the already loud group. At least if he was here it meant Chouji couldn't be too far.
"Hey Shikamaru! Naruto! It's good to see you."
The young Nara smiled at his friend, as happy to see him as he was with the subdued tone he used. It gave him a proud feeling knowing that his friend had enough common sense not to shout like the Inuzuka.
"Liquorice?" Naruto offered.
"No thanks, I have my chips." Naruto shrugged and continued to suck his licorice root, which Shikamaru idly wondered when he took out and from where. Really, he knew that his friend had lots of sealing scroll on him all the time, but it never ceased to surprise him how many things he carried all the time, some of which were so random as to make him question the boy's sanity.
Then he remembered that the very same boy wanted to buy a house made entirely of sponge...
"You guys should be more quiet." A tall teen wearing glasses and looking some years older than their group interrupted, halting the... shouting match between Ino and Sakura, as well as Kiba's one-sided one with Sasuke.
"So sorry chief librarian..." Naruto muttered around his licorice root, making Shikamaru smirk.
"You are rookies just out of the academy, right?"
"No we're just in, isn't this a classroom?" Naruto murmured, and this time his lazy teammate chuckled lightly.
Unaware of the orange-haired boy comments, the older teen went on, "This isn't a picnic."
"And that explains why me and Chouji are the only ones with food." Shikamaru coughed quietly to cover his snickers. The older boy after all was just stating the truth, sparing the young Nara the hassle of telling his troublesome peers himself.
Well, at least until he mentioned having done the exam seven times without passing "Do they give you a prize if you reach ten? Like a cardboard headband?" and then he showed them a deck of cards which he had used to record info on every participant.
Predictably it was Sasuke the one who asked , or rather demanded from his tone, to see the cards of two other contestant, namely Gaara of Suna and Rock Lee of Konoha. Shikamaru remembered that Ino had mentioned something about Sakura's team running into a team from the Sand village, which explained the first name, but he felt a bit of worry about team 7 knowing an older genin... Did Kakashi-sensei have them train with a more experienced squad after their mission in Wave? He surely seemed the kind of teacher who tried to instill big lessons of teamwork in his students, and jointly working with another team would be within his character...
"Shika, you're thinking too loud."
Trust Naruto to shake him from his anxious thoughts. The lazy black haired boy didn't have time to get back to his analysis either as the examiners made their theatrical entrance just then and there.
As they all sat down where they were told to, Shikamaru couldn't help but release a sigh of relief at the prospect of the first part of the exam being a written test.
Meanwhile, Naruto looked at the sheet before him reading the ten... well, nine questions on it, since in place of the tenth there was a note saying they'll be asked that when there was only 15 minutes left.
'Weird.' The orange haired boy thought, 'The point system makes it obvious they want us to cheat, as long as we do it properly, but what's up with this last one? A test to see if we can do it fast enough? Na, fifteen minutes is a long time... Maybe a question we'll have to actually answer ourselves? Or one we have to find? No, it's not hidden under an illusion... A do or die situation? An auto-fail to lower the chances of people getting enough points? Mh...'
Naruto stared at his paper for another minute pondering about what the tenth question could be about, completely disregarding the other ones and what was happening in the room. Something one of the proctors noticed.
"Hey brat, if you don't know how to answer you should consider just leaving now and come back next year."
The whiskered boy raised his eyes to meet the speaker's ones, and after a second grinned toothily at him.
"I'm sorry proctor-san, it's just that my pen's too heavy."
A couple of seats behind him Shikamaru rolled his eyes, while Ino, who was on the other end of the class, gritted her teeth, restraining herself from throwing her own pen and stabbing her idiotic teammate in the head. Mainly because it'd get her disqualified.
Luckily the chuunin decided to drop the matter once Naruto turned back to his sheet and finally took his pen to write some answers, namely the six answers that required a bit of medic knowledge, like the third one asking the places a senbon should hit to cause instant death, paralysis, and apparent death.
It wouldn't do for Tsunade's son to leave such a question unanswered after all.
In another room, in a different part of the village, three jounin sensei where relaxing together speculating about how their genin were faring in the test.
"It sure is boring without my team." Kakashi unexpectedly commented, making Asuma chuckle.
"Weren't you the one who was against getting his team of snot-nosed brats? I'd have never thought to hear you complain about some free time."
He paused to take a drag of his cigarette, enjoying it like he hadn't been able to since he was saddled with the psycho kleptomaniac of a student that was Naruto. "Beside you may see them soon, with Ibiki running the first test..."
"Ibiki? Morino Ibiki?" the copycat raised his only visible eyebrow, "Well, that was unexpected... I'd have never thought sensei would make him proctor the exam."
"Why not? Who exactly is this Morino Ibiki?" Kurenai asked looking at her two colleagues curiously, mildly glaring at Asuma's cigarette. She had really hoped he'd have quit by now. The third Hokage's son shamefully ignored her glare while answering, "He is a special jounin, and the captain of Konoha's torture and interrogation department."
"Indeed," Kakashi peeped in "and I find it strange that sensei allowed him to proctor the exam since the last time I checked he was against child abuse."
"..."
Asuma and Kakashi burst out laughing at Kurenai's expression, while she half heartedly glared at them for playing her.
"Sorry Kurenai, but you should have seen your face just now." Asuma said chuckling lightly.
"Your students are a surprisingly bad influenced on you. You not only have become lazier than ever, now you play pranks whenever you get the chance." The female jounin commented feigning exasperation.
"Anyway, since you're so informed, do you know who's proctoring the second portion of the exam too?"
The red-eyed woman didn't need to be a ninja to see how her companions shifted uncomfortably at her question. However, before she could press on, Gai burst in with his usual youthful exuberance.
The fact that Kakashi seemed relieved of all things by his proclaimed eternal rival appearance just sealed it. Turning towards Asuma she just stared at him waiting for an answer.
As it turned out the last question was of the do-or-leave kind, with a bit of intimidation tactics courtesy of baldy. The apex of said tactics was when he smashed Naruto's desk with one hand, reminding the boy a bit of his mother.
Apparently Ibiki didn't like the nickname "baldy".
He still glared a bit at Naruto even as he was congratulating all the people left for passing his portion of the exam. And then the window shattered.
A banner appeared. And before it stood a woman with a mini-skirt, which was really mini, fishnet, which didn't seem to hide much, a cloak, which did, and a cocksure smirk with mirth in her eyes.
Naruto mentally gave her three points for her attire, four for her mischievous expression, and one for her entrance. Her timing was off after all, as Ibiki pointed out, so he couldn't give her more. Still she looked good, like Kurenai but less cold, and wild like Hana but with more curves.
He idly made a mental note to make a couple of jokes about Hana the next time Kiba tried to gloat about something, and maybe pass by to visit her at her clinic. But that was for later, right now there was another interesting woman who had just screamed to follow her.
"I'd follow you to hell, Mitarashi-san!"
His comment made her raise an eyebrow, and then smirk. "What a coincidence, that's exactly where we're going little genin."
Naruto just smiled wider and rejoined his other two teammates.
Ino slapped him upside the head for behaving like a total idiot before the three of them went out of the class following the second proctor, whose clothes Ino couldn't help but mutter angrily about.
Her orange haired teammate looked at Shikamaru and decided that teasing the blonde about her not being able to wear the same attire, or joke about her obvious jealousy of the woman's body, wasn't worth it.
It didn't take long for them to reach what appeared to be the edge of a forest encircled by a fence; training ground 44, if the sign on said fence told the truth. It was the place they'd be in for the next five days, according to Anko's words.
Shikamaru was listening carefully to the instructions, while Naruto examined the competition. Ino was listening too, while giving the occasional glance at the other teams. She knew her teammates were the ones who'll come up with a strategy, but she wasn't stupid. She just had two freaking geniuses on her team, even if one was so lazy it was a miracle he breathed on his own and the other was a nutcase.
A nutcase whose eyes shined with unrestrained joy at the gigantic trees in front of them. Damn him. And she just wore a brand new purple dress too!
While the teenage drama went on in Ino's mind, Anko finished her explanations about the second test objectives and passed around some sheets that were basically discharging her from any responsibilities in case of the examinees' death.
"Now, before I have to say goodbye and send you all to an early death, any questions?"
Naruto's hand shoot up, reminding all of the Konoha rookies of how a pink haired girl in their group behaved in the last years in the academy.
The special jonin just snorted at his antics.
"Just ask little moron. On a second thought, sign your discharging paper first, you never know..."
While some genins took a step back, Naruto himself just smiled wider.
"I was wondering if you're single. Oh, and if would have dinner with me?"
Anko's brain drew a blank. This little idiot, smiling cheerfully, with his short spiky hair and hideous goggles and being a total moron ... For a second she saw another boy in front of her, an happy-go-lucky dark haired boy who used to wear goggles just like that, and her heart skipped a beat.
She blinked before locking memories from a past so far away that she sometimes doubted it ever existed, and put up a brave front like always.
'See Anko? Life's much easier when you face it with a smile.'
Suppressing a wince, she tried her hardest to ignore the ghost haunting her memories, and finally answered the orange haired genin.
"While I must congratulate you on having great taste, you should recognize when something's out of your reach brat. Now that the stupid questions are over, I suggest you get your scroll and to your assigned gate before I start killing you off out of boredom."
Naruto was one of the few who found her joke fun (if it was a joke), while the majority of the assembled examinees thought she was a psycho and decided to hurry up in taking a scroll and leave.
AN/ It's been so long and this chapter is so short... I'm disappointed in myself too. Ah well, let's console ourselves with a couple of omakes.
Omake#1
It was a nice afternoon, the weather was nice if slightly chilly signifying the approaching of winter, and so Naruto went forth in the search of a comfortable cloud gazing spot.
Finally finding the perfect clearing he stumbled upon... an Uchiha.
Yes there it was Sasuke Uchiha in all his glory, laying on his back with his eyes opened and vacant with a string of drool coming from his mouth. 'I knew he was spying when
Kurenai sensei taught us those genjutsu in Wave'
He knelt next to him and checked his life signs 'hmmm... his mind is completely shattered, if the idiot weren't so impatient and had waited to learn them properly or at least freaking copying them with his sharingan he would have been fine... Oh well'
"Might as well do it..." Naruto muttered. Several hours later, Naruto finished rebuilding his mind and made himself scarce.
The next morning Sasuke went as usual to team 7 meeting place while holding protectively some object in his pocket.
This behaviour startled Kakashi whom at the end of the day asked him "Sasuke are you carrying something in you pocket?" Sasuke began to panic and said "Yesss the preeecioouss, the preeecioouss" He said pulling out a pet-rock whose eyes were made of red marbles with three tomoes each and which fairly resembled a pair of sharingan eyes.
"Thisss Rocky Uchihaaa my mentorrrr he will defeat Itachi once and for all!". Kakashi blinked 'okay... carry on' he though. It wasn't the most bizarre quirk he had ever seen, at least he didn't wear green spandex.
~3 years later~
It was time for the final confrontation Itachi used tsukiyomi on Sasuke... and nothing happened. "Fool! The precciouuusss! Master Rocky protects my mind!". Itachi didn't know who this 'Rocky' was but he must have been pretty powerful to shield Sasuke's mind from afar(Tsukiyomi didn't work because Sasuke was simply insane).
Itachi was distracted by this thoughts when he heard "Now the time is ripe! Destroy himm massterr Roockyy!" Sasuke proceeded to throw his pet rock to Itachi hitting him in the head causing him a concussion and internal bleeding. That day Master Rocky defeated the S-Rank criminal Uchiha Itachi.
~6 months later~
Sasuke declared Rocky Uchiha as the new head of the Uchiha clan, and gave him his seat in the council. The people of Konoha learnt to respect this shady character who no one has ever seen and took his absence in the council(though Sasuke always deposited him in his council seat) as disapproval to egoistic measures and laws passed in the council(all of them).
~3 centuries later~
These days the name Rocky Uchiha was known trough the elemental nations, he was considered the sanest, wisest and most benevolent of the Uchiha patriarchs of all times, casting long shadows upon both his predecessors and successors alike.
He was also known as the Uchiha savior because he and one boy saved the clan in its darkest times when just the two of them remained, also this period is called "the Volcano time" since the Uchiha clan developed the ability to use the lava element, the Uchiha clan had always possessed the fire element, how they gained the earth element and learnt to combine it with fire is still a mystery to this day.
Omake#2
Minato was wary of a possible attack during the chunin exam, so just before it started he decided to inspect the stands surrounding the stadium.
He paced around lazily "Hmm... the Ichiraku ramen stand" said Minato waving at Teuchi and his daughter Ayame.
He kept walking until he stumbled with the seven icicles of the mist and its "cute waitress" who, under the watchful sight of the young kage, simply said "I'm a boy" slightly weirding out Minato.
The blond pressed on to the next stand... and saw in bright letters "The cult of the sponge. Now recruiting!" He was promptly given an information pamphlet and trial sponge.
He simply kept walking thinking to himself 'This is the last time I stamp permits while drunk.' then he stopped to a standstill when he saw the last stand he needed to check: "Anti pants thieving devices".
Minato sighed, looked left and right to check that no one was watching and said "one pair couldn't hurt".