The Decision

Summary: Final sequel to The Bet, The Date, The Kiss, and The Talk. "Jo, have you ever had sex?" Blair asked. Jo's head snapped up from the Basic Anatomy book she was reading. She regarded her with furrowed eyebrows, her eyes squinting. "What brought this up?" Blair remained silent and pointed to the cover of the book in Jo's hands.

Jo grumbled as she attempted to flatten herself against the clothes in Blair's closet. She had never been claustrophobic, but slowly asphyxiating on the performed clothing pressed against her back every night pointed out to her just how bad the anxiety disorder could be. Jo lifted a hand and pressed it over her mouth as Ms. Ames walked closer to the closet. She squeezed her eyes shut as the woman's shadow covered the only light source filtering through the crack in the closet doors.

A few moments later she heard Blair's familiar giggle, soon follow by a deeper laugh. Jo felt the heat of anger rising in her neck and into her cheeks. The hand around her mouth tightened, her nails starting to press into the skin along her jawline.

"Oh, Ms. Ames," Blair cried out as she stepped into the room. Ms. Ames moved away from the closet, which gave Jo the opportunity to peak out into the room. Blair was standing by her open dorm door, just inside the room.

"I'm sorry to intrude," Ms. Ames swiftly said. "Students have only been on campus for almost a week and there have been news about some items going missing. The door was open so I took some liberty." She looked around the room, raising an eyebrow at the sleeping bag on the floor. The male student, Barry, handed her a white laundry basket filled with clothing before silently excusing himself. "Expecting company?

"No." Blair shook her head, her blond ringlets brushing against her cheeks. She quickly glanced over at the closet, sharing a glance with one of Jo's green eyes.

Inside the closet, Jo pressed her forehead against the wooden door, careful not to put all of her weight on it. Here she was forcing her friend to hide her in her bedroom because of her own personal problems that she was too proud to tell anyone else because she was too prideful for help. Or rather, she was too embarrassed to ask for help.

"I'm…um…" Blair trailed off.

"Guests are only permitted to stay over in single rooms after going through the proper channels and paperwork," Ms. Ames listed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, I know!" Blair answered. "I'm…going hiking for the Fall Break in a few weeks up in Lake Placid, and I was just testing out what it feels like to sleep on the floor," she said with a laugh.

"It'd be more effective if you actually did so outside," Ms. Ames commented. A muscle in her cheek twitched, as if indicating that she was attempting a smile. "Have a good night."

Blair gave a quick nod as Ms. Ames exited the room and closed the door. Blair let out a loud sigh before placing her laundry basket onto the floor. Jo emerged from the closet, looking over at Blair, before taking a seat on her sleeping bag.

"I heard her footsteps and had to dive into the closet," Jo muttered.

"Why?" Blair took a seat at her vanity mirror, picking up a hairbrush. "You could have just said we were hanging out in here."

Jo paused. "…That makes sense too." She chuckled. "Old habits, you know," she said, raising a shoulder.

Blair turned in her seat and half-smiled. "Yeah, I understand." The two regarded each other in silence. The smile slowly faded from Blair's face as her eyes trailed over the side of Jo's who suddenly took interest with something underneath the bed. Blair noticed the small crescent moon shaped marks on her jaw, before following the line to her light pink lips.

Jo pulled a small stack of books from underneath the bed and placed them into her lap before looking at the covers one by one. "The bookstore is open. Although, I wonder how you can call it that at these prices for books?"

Blair hummed to herself as she ran her brush through her hair. After seeing the familiar glossy shine in her blonde hair, she carefully set the brush down onto the tabletop before joining Jo on the floor, leaning onto her left hip and curling her feet up behind her. "Have you given anymore thought about getting student aid?" she asked.

"Blair,' Jo said in a warning tone.

"Jo, sometimes I wish you would be vulnerable for once and just ask for help," she snapped. "Everyone needs it sometimes."

"Not everyone." Jo said, raising an eyebrow. Blair glared and ran her tongue down the inside of her cheek. "Speaking of that, you may want to order your textbooks soon before they run out."

Blair took a deep breath and held it for a few moments before releasing it. "If only we could take electives through all four years instead of these general classes," she commented, changing the subject to stop an argument from breaking out. "What am I going to do with Basic Anatomy after college?"

"A lot if you plan on having children," Jo laughed.

"Have you ever had sex?" Blair asked. Jo's head snapped up from the Basic Anatomy book she was reading. She regarded her with furrowed eyebrows, her eyes squinting. "What brought this up?" Blair remained silent and pointed to the cover of the book in Jo's hands.

Jo slowly sighed as she closed the book. "Don't tell Natalie or Tootie, but yes, I have," she admitted. Blair's eyes lit up which caused Jo to roll hers. "It wasn't anything special."

"But that's a big thing," Blair insisted. She quickly pulled the books out of Jo's lap and turned so face her so that their knees were touching. "What was it like?"

"Like, I said, it was nothing special." Jo shrugged.

Blair's eyebrows furrowed as she licked her bottom lip. "You were young, weren't you?" she asked. "Were you pressured?"

"Not necessarily." Jo reached up and rubbed the back of her neck. "It was with Eddie, if you were wondering." Blair made a sound but waited in silence as Jo paused before continuing. "When we joined the Young Diablos, we had to prove our worth to the group. They were to be our protectors, our friends...families when you didn't have one. Based on our backgrounds, they were like saviors. I'm not proud of the things I did while I was part of them, but they made me feel safe. Anyway, to join, we had to play Dice."

"To join a gang, you have to gamble?" Blair asked. "Why not list your bank card number in a phone booth? Now that is a risk," she commented.

Jo pulled her lips into a straight line. "Dice is a game where you roll and the number you land on, you have to have sex with that many people," she explained.

Blair's eyes widened while Jo quickly waved her hands in the air. "No, don't do that," Jo said before reaching out and holding one of Blair's hands. "We both rolled a one, and we thought it worked out to just be with each other. We were serious about each other as it is. I'm sure you figured out a few years ago," she added with a smile.

Blair scoffed before rolling her eyes. "Oh yeah, I remember." Her thumb began to trace the back of Jo's hand in small circles. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. Your first time should have been special."

"It doesn't have to be special as long as its with someone you care about," Jo whispered.

"Then…wouldn't that make it special?" Blair countered.

Jo looked up at the ceiling in thought, before nodding once. "In that case…I guess it would." She confirmed. A corner of Blair's lips twitched upward into a smile before she leaned forward. She and Jo hesitated before Blair kissed Jo. Jo made a soft noise before pulling away. "Blair, I'm not having sex with you," she said.

"Who said I wanted to?" Blair asked, a light flush rushing into her cheeks.

Jo half-smiled before reaching out and gently tugging on a strand of Blair's blond hair. She silently cursed to herself as she Blair reached up with her empty hand and held onto it, feeling her fingers shake.

"Look, I've been giving this a lot of thought and I don't think it would work," Jo admitted.

"What are you talking about?"

"This…thing that's been happening." Jo pulled her hand out of Blair's grip before pointing in between the two of them. "I don't know what to call it, but there's a lot a risk."

"Aside from you sleeping on my floor every night?" Blair countered.

Jo huffed before rolling her eyes. "Blair, I actually know people who are gay. It's not an easy life to live."

Blair snatched her back before looking away. "Who says I'm…that?" she asked.

"See, you can't even say it," Jo said harshly.

Blair's blue eyes darkened in anger as she scrambled to her feet. "Well, are you?" she demanded.

Jo looked up at Blair from her spot on the floor before shrugging. "I don't believe in labels."

Blair crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you believe in?"

Jo climbed to her feet before looking directly into Blair's eyes. "I believe I don't want you to go hurt," she admitted.

"No, you don't want to get hurt," Blair responded, the anger fading from her face. The two jumped and turned towards the door when they heard a rapid triple knock and a gruff voice call out. They relaxed once they realized it was not Ms. Ames, who usually double knocked in a staccato rhythm. They both looked at each other and let out a laugh.

"That's Barry…he's here for a study date," Blair commented, pointing towards the door.

"He can wait," Jo said with a wave of her hand. Blair brushed past her and picked up the textbooks before storing them underneath her bed again. "I have to ask, why did you do all of this, Blair?"

Blair continued to straighten up the room, keeping her back to Jo, even though she could feel her stare. "Because we finally get to be on our own and discover who we are. We are finally free of Natalie and Tootie being snoops. We are finally free of pressures and expectations," she commented.

"…This is about your parents," Jo said quietly. She shifted her stance and placed her hands into her pockets.

Blair sighed hard before turning around. "It's about the world. It's a harsh place."

"You're not the only one who has to live in it," she pointed out.

"Jo, as much as I hate to admit this, which I do," Blair commented, "I've admired you for a bit. It's clear you don't care what others think and you make it look so easy. You're just so confident and sure of yourself," she admitted.

"So are you," Jo insisted.

"If I were really myself I wouldn't have had to make a bet with you." Blair bit her bottom lip before letting out a laugh. "I've never had to work this hard." Jo stayed quiet but looked at her softly. "I don't think I'm…gay…I think there's just something about you," she added.

Jo's eyebrows rose in surprise. "…That's probably the nicest thing I've ever heard you say to me," she admitted.

"I know! I feel like throwing up," Blair said as she plucked a flannel shirt off of the back of her desk chair before folding it neatly and shoving it into her closet.

"Hey!" Jo cried. The two locked eyes and let out a laugh. "Look, I'm not denying there's something, but I don't think the timing is right."

Blair scoffed. "Will the time ever be right?"

"I think we'll both know as we continue to be a part of each other's lives." Jo picked up her backpack from the floor and flung it over her shoulder. Barry knocked on the door again. "I'll let you get to your study date with Barry." She rolled her eyes.

"Jealous?" Blair quipped.

"You wish," Jo said over her shoulder. She quickly slipped out of the room closing the door.

Blair heard Jo state to Barry that she would be out in a few moments. She walked over to the armor closet and pulled it open. The scent of her perfumed clothing calmed her down as she rolled up the sleeping bag and shoved it into an empty corner at the base of the closet. Blair then had to close the door and lean against it to make sure it stayed close. It was then that she looked around the room, noticing all of the various items Jo had laid around.

"Wow, this room really is small. I never noticed before."