"My Dearest Disciple,
I do hope this note finds you well after all the chaos that has erupted in your life, on the League's account and otherwise. It has been quite a strange time since that day, from my own observation the group continues to function but more due to the necessity of collective survival than anything else. Regardless, I wish to apologize for my blindness of what went on between you and that girl. I was your confidant and I failed to protect you as you had for me. That is inexcusable and I will carry that anger for quite some time. She has not taken well to your departure, she sobs for you to return even as I write this, but I suggest you do otherwise.
You had placed your safety, your very life in her hands and she violated the trust which must be held above all else for such a coupling. There is nothing left for you in this crumbling shell of an organization, save a few followers and to repeat the mistakes of the past, but I also understand such strong attachment is hard to lose even if self destruction is guaranteed. What you choose to do with your life is as always, your prerogative. However on that notion, I say that should you wish enlightenment then travel to the gate of the underworld.
You were always a friend to me even at my worst and I reveled in joy at how eager you were to learn. You gave me safety and sanity so if you ever need me, I swear on my life I will be there.
Best regards,
-Moonfish"
Toshinori felt vomit build up in his throat. Never in his life did he want to eject himself from a room as badly as now as Nedzu read off a piece of folded parchment paper. Everyone around the meeting table, himself, Eraserhead, Midnight, Cementos, Snipe and a few other unlucky souls charged with handling such a massive security threat cringed at the thing. One of the worst criminals in the nation approached their students unhindered almost two months after finally ending that nightmare and had the potential to start it all over again. It was a grave matter that curled the blood and he fought off the urge to immediately seek out his successor when the Headmaster finished reading. Setting the letter aside, Nedzu stared back at the assembled mass of heroes with that serious, inhuman dread that bled out from his soulless beady eyes, chilling them all to the bone.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not what any of us wanted to see so soon, but unfortunately we'll have to cut to the chase, as of this moment our facilities will be entering stage five lockdown for the foreseeable future. No students shall be allowed off the premises without an escort of at least three faculty members or members of the security forces. Contact between family members must either be held digitally or at appointed locations with the presence of at least two faculty members, regardless of the demands of the legal guardians and communications going in and out of the academy will be monitored with a fine tooth comb."
The rodent turned to the most famous of the professional heroes in the room, however shrunken his current form may be.
"Toshinori I request that you console Mr. Midoriya at this time, his... unique relationship to all of this places him in a very precarious situation if something like this were to continue. Not to dissuade his own choice of course, I have full faith in our student, but such events can bring uncertainty to one's resolve especially if they find themselves at the mercy of old trauma. As for the rest of you, remain alert and make sure to pay extra attention to the whereabouts of your charges. That's all for now, dismissed."
Normally he would have said something, anything to perhaps calm the air among his peers, but now there were larger issues to deal with, things that had to be done today so each of the heroes exited the conference room with a lingering unease in their hearts. The Symbol of Peace among them as he reached for his phone and opened the tracker Young Hatsume had installed. He breathed a sigh of relief when the marker showed his successor was well within campus grounds. Young Togata did a fine enough job keeping an eye out for him, but even a person as incredible as the Permeation Hero had to attend to family when an emergency struck.
Shrugging the thought off Toshinori summoned some piddling reserve of his quirk once he had exited to the halls, exploding his meek body with heavily packed muscle that let him regain a towering height. He smiled to himself, glad to feel the old power return to his bones yet that died when a coughing fit snuck up on him. Looking down, his arm felt wet and warm with saliva mixed with blood staining his sleeve.
So much accomplished and there was so little time left. Perhaps he has a year left, maybe a little more if he was extremely lucky to keep his image from quite literally deflating into the crippled shell of his former glory to the full view of the world. However Toshi breathed a little easier now than he had in a long, long time when thinking about the future. All For One was finally gone, his evil would never pervade society again and the remaining malcontents could be dealt with by other heroes when he had to unfortunately hang up his gloves.
Not one to let that distract him too much, the Symbol of Peace sprung through the corridors of the academy, rushing past the white trim walls in a monsterous speed powered both by his inherited quirk and his own impressive musculature. Classrooms acted as the marker when he made his way out to the inner courtyard of the school, it's freshly manicured lawns greeting the titan with their natural green. His feet touched down with a suppressed boom which flattened a wide area of grass as he cut off the percent of his power needed to actually move inhumanly fast and began to walk to a square section of the yard hidden to the side of the main path between the two dorm buildings.
His plastered smile, the wide, confident grin that held up the hopes of a nation, softened into one more befitting a mortal man. He had gotten his student, no, more than a mere student, his friend back. Sure the road ahead was hard and painful to reclaim what was tainted, but Toshinori had faith in his successor, he had to.
Two heads poked around the corner as he approached and right before him was the Ninth bearer of One For All, staring at him in shame and fear that the young man could barely hide. Meanwhile Young Shinso simply raised an indifferent eyebrow at his arrival and didn't react when the Guardian of Society spoke in his charming tone, the pitch being far more personal than what he'd have used otherwise.
"Young Midoriya I was hoping we could grab some tea for a minute, assuming you have the time of course."
The Ninth bearer smiled uneasily at the giant, taking a few small steps to put some distance between them while trying his best to suppress the fear and shame the man summoned.
"I'd love to All Might, but Shinso needs my help to go over some notes. You know, boring stuff like that."
A curled lip was raised by the mind control user at the suggestion, looking somewhere in the realm of annoyed and curious.
"No I don't."
Izuku turned his head slowly to the insomniac with a slight menace in his eyes as he slung an arm over Shinso's neck and pulled him close. The chiseled muscle of his bicep squeezing around him meaningfully without actually choking the guy.
"But you said you did, remember? We were supposed to go over those notes you took on that little "thing" you talked about and try to put the pieces together."
Shinso merely rolled his eyes at the vague threat in the shorter student's voice, disregarding the discomfort around his neck.
"Hey Izuku?"
The Ninth smiled like a shark with his expression possibly on the border of intimidating if it wasn't for how much he was holding back.
"Yeah?"
"Stand completely still."
At once the green haired teen froze on the spot, his eyes now a distant, glassy shade as the brainwashing took over and Shinso stepped out of the hold. He sighed at the situation his schoolmate put him in and turned to the Symbol of Peace, looking impassive as always.
"One of these days he'll stop falling for that. Anyway All Might, if I can ask is everything alright between you and the jolly green dwarf over there? He used to cream his pants whenever you showed up and now...I don't know."
Toshinori grinned a bit at his charge and matched his disposition, finding some humor in the whole thing.
"Young Midoriya has had quite a few traumatic incidents during his imprisonment with those villains, incidents that left conditioning which is hard to break. Don't blame him for it, he's merely reacting as he was taught."
Shinso nodded, seemingly satisfied by the answer as his posture slumped by a large margin. Though he did begin to bite his lower lip as more questions arose.
"So he was brainwashed, good to know. But...is he gonna be okay? The dumbass keeps hanging around me like some lost puppy and I noticed habits, weird ones that aren't good."
The number one hero exhaled, already aware of some of what the teen meant.
"It's like all the rest that clings to him, we just need to take it one day at a time. He'll be fine...physically speaking at least, I can promise you that."
Pursed lips greeted the answer as the violet haired youth studied his pacified peer and took note of the massive white scar bisecting his face. Shaking his head, Shinso turned back to the teacher.
"Can I do anything to help?"
A massive hand tapped the teen on the shoulder with a sympathetic touch.
"Just keep doing as you have been, that's all anyone can do at the moment unfortunately."
Silence followed as he processed the words and responded with a shrug. His purple irises laid one last look at the former villain and offered up a two finger salute before walking off to parts unknown.
"See ya space cowboy."
Izuku remained frozen in place as his mind was utterly overturned and continued to be as such for a good three minutes until Shinso at last moved out of range and dropped him out of the trance. Resulting in the killer flipping his head around like he just woke up in a strange place, which in all fairness, he had. His flailing ceased when he met All Might's gaze.
Faced with a non-judgemental stance from his old mentor made him uneasy and had him wishing the man would rather regard him with disgust or ire. At least that he knew how to handle. Yet he wouldn't get that as steam erupted from the man who gave him his quirk and deflated before his eyes into his thin, reedy form. Smiling at him like some caring father all the while.
"Earl Grey sounds good?"
Recoiling slightly, Izuku accepted defeat and sighed, trying his best to not appear too rude to the man willing to grant a second chance to him.
"I'd prefer Imperial Golden Tips if you have some."
Toshinori nodded gently at his ward, glad to simply be in his presence again.
"I'll see what we can do."
Blue wallpaper surrounded the two as they sat on opposing sofas stationed on the sides of a coffee table where a kettle was set over an electric burner in one of the few teacher's lounges with steaming ceramic cups in their palms, the drinks serving to mercifully block the time that either needed to speak since neither the Eighth or the Ninth bearer of One For All spoke once they arrived, the air was too awkward for casual conversation after all that happened and sadly to Toshinori's point of view this was the first time in a month they had gotten to really talk since he was busy putting out political fires for the boy's sake.
Tapping the cup rhythmically he shrugged to himself and decided to break the ice.
"So has everything been comfortable for you since you've been back? Is there anything we could do to make you feel a little more at home?"
Izuku shrugged in turn, not daring to look up from his mug.
"...As much as I can be. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you guys are willing to go so far for me and I'm not trying to make things difficult for anybody, but...I'm just not used to this way of things anymore."
He took a sip of the brew and continued.
"I hate the mandatory structure, I'm perfectly fine with self-discipline and I can manage myself like a soldier, but if I wanna go nuts and head on a four day bender then I feel like I shouldn't have to ask permission. Again I completely understand why you can't allow me that, but still."
Toshinori was beyond alarmed at that answer and it showed with how wide his eyes got. Setting the cup to the table he connected his fingers into a cradle that rested under his nose as he battled between concern and indignation, yet he wouldn't get chance to speak when Izuku moved a hand to a slightly bloody patch near the base of his neck, looking far more spiritually tumultuous like he was in deep consideration of something.
"I miss being hit. I miss getting cut. I miss sharing my blood and being given blood. I wanna be bitten again. I want to kiss again and feel good again, I…"
He paused as if in intense physical pain, his face scrunching up tightly. Hands touched his face as Izuku slid them down and stopped himself from going on too much of a tangent.
"For nearly two years I was in a long-term, deeply committed relationship with a girl who did crazy things to me. Every day she slept next to me even before we became intimate, she was always there and over time I got so used to it that I forgot what being alone was like. I forgot what it felt like to lay in a cold, empty bed alone with no one to comfort you, to grant you inhuman pleasure, to hold when you wake up screaming."
He sighed defeatedly as he absently played with the depression in his skin.
"I almost can't stand sleeping alone now. Not in an intimate way, I can bear without it unfortunately, but I keep getting so scared at night when I wake and nobody's hearing me cry that it only makes it worse."
The sorrow transformed into a sudden recoiling scoff as he felt disdain for actually admitting that to someone like his old mentor. Shame wasn't the right word, no at the moment he was disappointed in himself for allowing his troubles to be known, especially one that was trivial in the grand scheme of things. Bringing the cup to his mouth he drank some of the brew, enjoying the warm, jasmine taste.
Toshinori grit his teeth upon hearing such a disturbing statement from his pupil. It was a level of unknown he was, for once in his wondrous career, woefully under qualified for. He was a brawler who acted with his fists and swelled the hearts of those in need with his words. This however...would need things beyond a pep talk or simply surface level guidance. What should they even discuss to address the multiple layers of whatever transpired to make him think like that? At least Young Midoriya was cooperating as best he could, which did count for something.
Pushing his own insecurities about the matter aside for now Toshinori straightened his back and tried his best to appear in charge. Personally he wished nothing more than to remain in the towering form of muscle and might so that he could be more reassuring than his current husk of a body.
"Midoriya...these things that happened to you. I want you to know that you can talk to me about them whenever you need. But, today we intercepted one of the villains who captured you and even though he managed to get away, he left a letter with some of your classmates and the things inside…"
The hero inhaled, holding back the words for as long as he could, hoping against hope it was a lie while preparing to help his heir however he could.
"Did that man force you to do things?"
Puzzlement colored Izuku's face for a brief second until it instantly changed to absolute disgust at the idea.
"Dude, what the fuck? Moonfish is a lot of things but a rapist isn't one of them. He never laid a hand on me or Himiko. Yeah he's a gimp, but he has rules about that kind of stuff, chief among them being consent. "
Toshinori remained unmoving at his student's words, his blue eyed gaze staying steady and as unbending as iron.
"Then why did he refer to you as a disciple if there wasn't something unsightly happening?"
Izuku rubbed the back of his neck conscientiously while avoiding his idol's gaze as memories of lessons hard won flew back at full force.
"Well, he taught me things. How to cook, how to sneak and...how to effectively do my job."
Darting his eyes back and forth the green haired teen threw out a question he dreaded to have answered.
"All Might, in the letter did he make reference to something called The Bloody Mile?"
Toshinori scrutinized the expression on the younger man's face resulting in some of One For All flowing out of his back in arcs of quiet lightning.
"No, should we be concerned about that?"
Hands waved rapidly side to side as Izuku did his utter best to shake off the sensation that concept gave, eking out a meager smile in the process.
"No, no, no, it's fine! That's just a term he used a lot is all. He was really quite a well read person and flaunted some of the quotes. In fact-"
He was cut off with a glare by his teacher, one that would have caused even the old man to pause as Toshinori actually let some of his animosity flow towards those degenerates.
"Young Midoriya, that man has been found connected to some of the worst crimes in the nation so do not try to defend him. I understand that your perception has been altered, but you need to see things as they are and I have a duty to keep you out of the hands of those maniacs. If there is anything that you can tell me about this that could help protect you and your peers then please tell me."
Izuku kept his view to his cup, the tea serving once again as an excuse to not look his idol in the eye. He shook his head at some unknown fact and gave a depressed, hopeless smile.
"All Might...if he wanted the girls dead he would have done it without a second thought and we'd never even realize it was him. Moonfish likes me, he sees me as a second son since his first born died years ago and he's taught me literally everything he knows. I've seen him take people and make them disappear without a trace. He's grabbed marks from crowded streets and never raised an alarm, broken into houses and not left even a flake of skin as he captures them. Politicians, heroes, mob bosses, he's taken them all."
A sliver of repressed fear surfaced behind his eyes as he sunk into the cushions.
"The thing is...he doesn't need his quirk to do it. Even if he didn't have his Razor Tooth ability, he'd still be that deadly and I guess...I'm that way too now since I've done the same."
Toshinori reached to the boy, placed both palms on his shoulders, making sure he was looked at in the face when he spoke.
"You are nothing like that man Young Midoriya, you have great compassion and valor in your heart despite all that happened. It was a simple misfortune that things transpired as they did, meaning you are not at fault, you can still move forward and get past that travesty."
There was fire in the young man now, the type that took the hero by surprise with the intensity of it. That belonged to a man aged past his years in a crucible of fire and death which left him hollow yet resilient to all things outside him.
"All Might I've killed people before, I've drunk blood before, I stole and crippled and tortured. I even fucked in broad daylight and liked it. I enjoyed all the things I've done, you've seen the results of the things I have done and you sit there saying I'm nothing like them?"
He stood up with a thunderous boom as he pushed the frail man away with a shove as a fury settled in his soul.
"I was one of the worst of them! I made the plans, I created the tactics for their quirks, I was the one pushing for more action to be taken! It was because of me they became so infamous and I reveled in it! I loved being feared and I adored being with someone just as fucked up as I was because I could do the most horrible shit to people and she would praise me, adore me, beg to help me hurt people and I charised it!"
He grabbed at the sides of his head and slumped to the sofa, pulling at his hair in knots and lost the energy of his admission, leaving only a drained, pathetic thing as he curled to an upright fetal position.
"I-I don't know why I did what I did, why I didn't fight tooth and nail like you would have to escape. I just stayed there and let myself get worse and worse. I justified everything I did, said I was only going after scum and she...she encouraged me every step of the way, helped me hunt down our marks and drink their blood together, told me I was being a true hero. Maybe it was because I was lonely all my life or maybe I was just looking for an excuse to finally take off the mask society made me wear like she always said I was, but those things...came from inside me All Might, they're a part of me."
Blood trickled out the side of the hero's lip when landed on the couch, nearly staining the fabric red in tiny droplets as he mustered a genuine smile while the internal damage of his body stung like a thousand glass shards against his innards. The smile he made might have been authentic, but it served a greater personal purpose of hiding his fear as was the sole reason for him developing that habit even before his debut all those years ago. He was honestly horrified for his ward, not in a physical way, he had faith in the boy, but more so in just gazing how far the damage really went and he knew for a fact this was likely only the tip of the iceberg.
Cautiously he laid a hand on his ward's side which succeeded in getting him out of whatever torment the youth was under. Yet instead of relaxing or decompressing, Izuku shot his head up like someone was set to attack him. This lasted all of a minute before it passed and left him sheepishly listening to the man who raised him into heroism.
"Nonsense Young Midoriya, that was merely a result of your trauma. You were put in excruciating circumstances so you did what you had to do to survive and your mind tried to cope with what happened. It wasn't you that did those things my boy, it was the act you played in order to stay alive and while yes it was objectively horrible, you aren't beyond redemption and I'll always be there every step of the way."
Izuku pursed his lips and slowly uncurled himself from the sofa, careful to not instantly brush the teacher aside as he stood up.
"You know All Might, I appreciate you, I really, really do. But answer me honestly because I know you're trying and I'm trying yet it all sounds so hollow. Do you think I can ever be normal again...can I be repaired or am I always going to be this fucked in the head?"
Toshinori hung his head low as his successor, the same boy he considered as close to a son as one could, looked at him with those pleading eyes he had seen thousands of times in his line of work and for once, when it mattered the absolute most to him, he couldn't speak with confidence.
There was so much wrong with this. If it wasn't for the unique circumstances surrounding his case and the connections made by him, alongside how UA, the HSPC's shining city atop a hill, reputation was at stake if the public ever got wind of even a hint of what this young man did, then he likely would have been given the slightest fraction of a second chance. And the sad thing was that Toshinori knew this, he knew that if he hadn't outright threatened to withdraw himself from any further herowork then those goons working in the government would have happily let his successor rot for the rest of his days in the deepest level of Tartarus. Not to mention the sheer amount of kickback this one boy had created in society at large which had started plaguing law enforcement with how many copycats started to emerge, each carving that horrid parody of a smile into the body of criminals like it was divine.
"...There will always be the lingering memories, the fears that you can't quite shake, images of things burned forever into your mind. That simply comes with dwelling in the life we choose to have. I still see things late at night from decades ago when I had to stop the worst kinds of criminals and see what they had done to people...or themselves. Young Midoriya, I won't lie, I'm scared. I've always been scared and that's why I smile to hide it, but that doesn't mean I let my pain or my tragedies or my resentments define who I am."
The crippled symbol raised himself off the couch to stand at eye level with his successor, hoping against everything that his words would have some positive impact.
"You are who you chose to be and while you can't return to the person you once were, that doesn't mean you can't become someone better than who you once were, understand?"
Izuku didn't smile or lessen the strain in his posture, for all the world he was akin to a statue as he refused to turn his back to the man, yet clearly wanted to leave.
"I think so. But...I need to ask, it's been over a month and I was promised that I'd get to see my mom. That hasn't happened yet and while I understand security needs to be taken into account, can you let me know when I can see her?"
Toshinori shook his head mournfully at his apprentice, wishing he could force the world to give him what he wanted.
"It depends, the schedule we crafted for off campus visits have to be withdrawn until the situation has been dealt with. Normally the board would have allowed an on campus visitation, but for some reason your mother refuses to see you anywhere other than her home."
A stabbing pain was clear on the killer's face as his knuckles turned a pale white, trying his best to stay composed.
"Well, can I call her at least?"
Again the man answered with a no as he matched the sorrow he possessed for the lad.
"Unfortunately no, a phone line can be compromised and the last thing any of us want is information getting leaked, especially in regards to you."
Nothing happened for what may have been seconds as the teen remained still, frozen in place and unreactive. Then he moved faster than the untrained eye could track, his right arm reared up high before wood splattered away from the door to the lounge after Izuku's fist lashed out towards the nearest thing he could punch. It was without the power of his quirk, but the sheer physical force he exerted created a large hole in the object, breaking through the first half of the door and coming out the other end with his knuckles caked in blood and splinters.
His face was cherry red and hot with rage bottled up until it could no longer be held. Looking down at his arm the anger flooded out and left him with only the mild burn of annoyance and disappointment. He scowled at the limb as he withdrew it from the door, knowing for a fact he broke most of his hand despite the adrenaline keeping the pain at bay and it infuriated him when he realized it wouldn't be the good kind of pain either.
Putting his busted right hand in his left he cursed at the world while being too upset to even realize the feat of what he had just done.
"Shit, now I gotta go deal with that old bitch."
His eyes traveled to his mentor with nary a thought of guilt as he opened the door.
"I take it we're done here for now?"
Toshinori was impassive now, not angry himself, but certainly taken aback by the rage his ward displayed despite not letting it show.
"Yeah, you go take care of that and let me deal with the damage."
Izuku looked one more time at the result of what he did and muttered out a "sorry" as he left to head to Recovery Girl's office, leaving the light of society to stare at the shattered remains. It wasn't that much of an issue, the school had enough funding to easily replace the door yet it was the way his pupil had acted without a thought in the sway of his anger which disturbed him. Still, if anyone had the right to be pissed, it was that boy.
Sighing to himself as he grabbed a broom and dustpan, he realized this was only the first of many, many ugly messes that would be made on Young Midoriya's path to healing.