A few minutes pass and I continue to internalise my worry until I am abruptly pulled back to some kind of argument between the pirate crew and the young boy- Toby. It appears I have missed quite the altercation. As I continue to sit in the corner I realise that the argument is over the pirates who are attempting to leave.
"You are going to remain at your post" Toby orders, pulling out a sword in warning. Ok, this is going to escalate very fast.
Right. Time to step in and diffuse the situation, the last thing we need is for any more injuries and I don't rate the poor lads chances against these dirty pirates, I doubt they play fair.
"Hey... Toby, lets all just calm..." I begin...
"I am not playing games with you, boy. Put that down!" One of the pirates barks, his tone threatening and loosing patience. While I shrink back, Toby seems to just get angrier. I mean you've got to give it to him, I've got respect for the lad, but I can just see this isn't going to end well...
"One more step and I'll use this, you blaggard" this brave or slightly stupid lad challenges.
"You don't know how to fight with a cutlass, boy" the pirate argues right back. God, don't challenge him, calling his bluff is just going to Toby try and prove himself.
For a second there is a stand-off, both equally daring each other to move... then Toby smirks...
"Don't need to do I?" He reminds, aha, clever boy. And then Toby slashes the pirates hand, leaving him with a cut, bleeding. A tense moment later the pirate turns his palm over to reveal a black spot. Oh... snap.
"No" the pirate cries out, taking in a sharp gasp of air,
"You little swabber!" He yells at Toby. I mean, yes, he's a pirate. Yes, I realise he's disloyal, gluttonous and selfish... but that's no excuse to practically give the man a death sentence... and it seems that whatever this black spot means... it's really not good.
"I think we need to all just take a step back..." I contribute.
I am quickly cut off by the ginger girl, Amy, I think that's her name.
"Congratulations. You've made it to the menu, probably shouldn't go out there now" she adds sarcastically.
Wow, this really isn't a positive situation. That is some dry sarcasm right there.
"Ok, now lets all just calm down, there's no use..." I interrupt, but not for long.
"You scurvy ape!" The pirate yells at Toby.
I mean, I get it, he's mad. But this isn't helping.
Oh great! And now he's pulled out a pistol, a real gun. We all flinch back and I let out a scream of panic, I mean, it's been a long day and this whole situation is terrifying so I deem this an appropriate response.
"Don't shoot. The powder will blow and kill us all!" A bloke, I think he's called Rory, exclaims, sounding more exasperated than fearful. Interesting, I think I'll stick to downright terrified personally.
In an attempt to distract myself from focussing my attention on my possible impending doom I look around the room... and it is at this point that I notice the other pirate snatch the keys from the newly injured one.
"Mulligan, what are you doing?" He the injured man questions, sounding rather more surprised than I think he should be. They're pirates, of course he's going to betray his own crew mate for gold. Hasn't he seen any pirate films?...Oh wait... of course, bit early for that I suppose given the language and dress code. I really have dreamt up some realistic pirate story, I'm half expecting Captain Jack Sparrow to jump out at us all and say boo at this point. I doubt I'd even be surprised.
During my musings, Mulligan leaves the cabin much to the dismay of the injured pirate. And then there were five...
Time passes, and I return to my seated position against the wall, every so often allowing my eyes to flicker over to the black imprint on that marks my hand. I try to rub it off, I don't know why, but of course it stays firm. Like a tattoo, a permanent mark. I probably ought to mention this to someone, and to be quite frank, I still don't know what it means, what we're all running from.
Suddenly there's banging.
"NADINE... AMY... RORY!! Open the door!" I hear the Doctor yell through the door. Accompanied with shouting from the captain too.
We all spring to action and in a flash the Doctor bursts into the magazine and snatches Toby's medallion. He begins huffing and puffing on it, breathing all over it to mist it with the warm air. Right, well thats a tiny bit odd. I glance at the others, and I am glad to see the look of confusion clear on Amy's face as we all witness this madness.
The Doctor gives a thumbs up to the captain and before I realise it, he's gone. So naturally, as I really have little else to do, I follow. As do the others, and after hearing several windows shatter, he returns to the group panting from exertion.
A long explanation follow, one that I drift in and out of. But from the gist of it, we have to wait for the calm sea to become stormy enough to move.
The captain, Avery, explains the situation to us again.
"The sea is still calm. Like a mirror. If you go out on deck she'll rise up and attack you."
Great, so I'm stuck with a load of strangers avoiding some ominous cursed being who wants me dead because of a tiny splinter. How the hell did I get here! This can't be real life. This is quite literally insanity, I've gone insane.
The Doctor is clearly trying to sooth everyones concerns.
"The calm won't last forever, when the wind picks up we'll set sail" he tries to catch my eye, maybe to gage how I'm coping. Well tough, I just want to be left to my thoughts. And with that, I head to another corner of the room and tuck myself away.
In an effort to distract myself, I think back to the first time I was ever on a ship. Mind you, I call it a ship. It was really just a kayak, but to me it was my ship. I was six at the time, and Dad had organised a day out on some river in the countryside. He'd hired us all a kayak for the day and we went exploring. I felt like a proper adventurer. Thinking about this now, young me would have loved this. I mean, this is scary, but wow, who get's the chance to spend the night on a pirate ship from the past!
"You're in shock" The Doctor states. I jump, startled at his sudden and silent appearance so close in my personal bubble. His voice draws me back to reality, the one place I'd rather not be right now.
Then I process his accusation. And naturally I resent it, insistent on the fact that I am coping. Even though deep down I know I'm not. Because thats what a wounded animal does dosent it? It bears its teeth and growls, attempting to deter any potential threats. And this whole situation seems like one big threat right now!
"I'm fine" I snap back.
"No you're not, I know you, I can read you like a book. I can see you're afraid, Nadine. And I'm sorry, I wish I could make you feel safe right now..." He explains to me. And when he runs out of words, he just sort of trails off and continues to flap his hands about.
"That's not your job to do that" I butt in. Who does he think he is? I can cope just fine without some protector or defender or whatever he thinks he is to me.
"Except it is, and I know you don't believe that right now. But that won't stop me from caring for you and doing all I can to ensure your safety" he counters, trying to keep a calm demeanour. But I can see it in his eyes, he is frustrated.
"I want to go home" I tell him the truth, desperate to get out of this now.
"I know" he resigns. What for of an answer is that? That's no comfort at all!
"Promise me I can go home, once the wind picks up. Promise me you'll take me home" I implore. I need some certainty, a light at the end of the tunnel. God just grant me this.
And then we make eye contact, and I can see it in those dark, solemn eyes. I'm not going home.
"I'm sorry...I can't" He responds, solemn and agonised in his tone.
Well tough. Sorry isn't going to cut it. I am sick and tired of getting half answers. I've had enough. I get angry at him. This man who has been the only common link between recent events and I can't help the accusation I make.
"You did this to me" I state. Looking to place blame, for a target, someone to be angry at.
His knuckles clench, they go white. He's mad.
"I'd never hurt you Nadine. Please, lets just talk and we can..." He reaches out to draw me into his embrace, I jerk away.
"No! You liar, you must know how to get me home. I can see it, you're keeping so much from me" I lash out, my frustration escalating.
He finally snaps.
"Nadine, stop it. Just think for a minute. You're being irrational!" He snaps at me.
"Don't you dare. How dare you suggest that my reaction is anything besides suitable considering my situation. I've been ripped from my life, put in terrifying circumstances and now I'm going to die at the hands of a creepy singing siren thing!" I bellow out, my speech comes out in gasps as I choke on tears.
"I know its stressful! But I am doing my best to get everyone safely off this ship. After that I will explain everything, I swear it. But now isn't the time for..." He pauses mid sentence, thinking, I can literally see the cogs turn in his brain as the conversation catches up with him.
"...That" he lets out a gulp. The his eyes dart back to mine, then to my hand.
"You said you might die... at the hands of the... siren" Then it clicks.
He grabs my hand. The one with the mark.
His grasp is tight, and it gets tighter as he seems to process the black spot embedded into the palm of my hand.
"Why didn't you tell me" He asks, frustrated.
"What?" I reply, why on Earth would I tell him, I've barely known him five minutes.
"You should've told me sooner" He grinds out.
"Don't tell me what to do" I break from his grasp. I mean, yes, he may genuinely have my best interests at heart. And, yes I may be acting harsh... but I'm so tired and frustrated and I just want to feel some sense of control at this point.
"Stop acting so childish" he retorts quickly. His snappish tone finally pushing me over the edge, as I feel myself falling deeper into a panicked state.
I want out. Now. I need to get away from him. The walls feel closer than before and the room starts to spin.
I rush past the Doctor and into the cabin Amy and Rory are in. They're asleep. But before I can find somewhere to calm down and avoid the Doctor, I am frozen by the sight of a woman. She doesn't fit the rest of the room... its as though she is looking at me through a window...
"The link isn't strongenough... connection... stay calm, you're doing just fine dear..."
I blink, and she is gone. And now I'm really panicking. Where am I again? Have I gone mad? Am I delusional!
God, I can't breathe.
I get dizzy and begin to fall, before arms grab at me and help to lower me to the ground.
Just as I am about to fall into the darkness, clarity returns to me and I feel fine.
"Nadine! Talk to me, sweetheart, hey... It's ok, I'm sorry I upset you. I know it's been tough" the Doctor's voice comes into focus and I realise its his arms that I am lying in.
I need fresh air, so with little regard to the man currently holding me, I push away from him and stumble to the top deck, propping myself against the wheel. Soon after settling into this new spot, I hear voices nearby. It appears the Doctor has decided to give me some space, and he's chattering away to the captain.
After some more time passes and I am almost asleep, water drips onto me. Followed by more and more dripping until its pouring down with rain as a storm thunders above.
Everyone arrives on the deck and we all begin some attempt to sail the ship, despite having little clue as to how to make that happen.
"TO THE RGGING YOU DOGS" the Captain bellows out.
I can barely hear the barking orders of the captain over the crashing thunder. And I look over to see the Doctor grappling with the wheel. Toby reaches into a chest to retrieve something, a coat. I struggle to keep a grip on a wooden rail.
Toby begins the slippery and jostled walk to pass the coat to Captain Avery. But before the coat reaches its owner, A crown rolls out of it and along the deck.
It's as though time itself freezes. Everyone stops, we all follow the trail of the treasure, apprehension in our gazes.
Then suddenly its as though a weight has been lifted, I feel calm...content, despite the raging storm. Something isn't right, but I don't care as long as I can feel like this forever.
There is a voice, a bell-like sound... singing... then a glow. A woman shoots out of the crown...
Somewhere in the background I hear Avery.
"Don't let her take you!" He yells out in desperation.
Why not? I struggle to fathom why anyone would avoid this beautiful feeling. Its as though all my anxiety has just been switched off. Like I've swallowed a painkiller that numbs bad thoughts and feelings, leaving me relaxed and content. This is total euphoria.
There is a scream, Toby, I think he has joined her... the siren. For a second I am jolted in shock by the pure torment of the boy's scream. I feel a spike of fear... I look to seek aid from someone. Not sure if this is a good idea after all. Is this siren safe?
My eyes flicker over to the Doctor, who catches my gaze. He holds on, a look of sheer fear and desperation swirls in those brown orbs. Everything is muted, it is silent...
And the it hits me, this all encompassing feeling of absolute jealousy that Toby is with the siren and I am not. I want to take her hand more than anything...
"NADINE!"
I reach out, connecting fingertips with the siren... There is a scream, a wail of agony... my scream...
Then nothing.
Darkness.
There is a flicker of light... another... and another. My eyelids... they flutter open and closed. Allowing only slight snippets of light to enter my vision. I acclimatise to the bright force of this light...slowly becoming able to keep my eyes open.
"Nadine..."
That man, its his voice.
"Nadine, come back to me...wake up, it's time to go now..."
The Doctor... Yes, that's his name... I think so. Everything is so groggy. This feels like a hangover. I wish it was, that would mean I'm back at university.
I begin to come round, sitting up, taking in the bed I'm laying on.
"Am I in hospital?" I croak out.
"Kind of, sort of. Well, yes. Just not the kind of one you're used to" Is the answer I get.
I lie back with a groan, back to the half answers then.
"Can I go home?" I plead, I just want my bed.
The Doctor sighs, resting his head in his hands for a moment. Then his hand returns to my face as it goes up to my hair, stroking it.
"Yes, yes you can go home. I need you to get up now. Amy and Rory are waiting for us on the Tardis and I need to set this ship off on a flight path for Avery, so we need to got a move on before the before the central controls get locked" he responds.
And with that I'm starting to move my legs off the bed and sliding off the bench with the help of the Doctor. He goes to scoop me up and I shove him away on reflex, insisting I don't need to be carried.
In the end we come to an agreement, I swing an arm over his shoulder and he bears my weight and helps me to hobble over to the Tardis, still feeling dizzy. Apparently the anaesthetic I was given hasn't fully worn off yet.
As we get closer to the blue phone box that I recognise from recent memories I am shocked at how willing I am to get back inside it when I was so desperate to escape before. But if The Doctor will take me home in it then I really have little choice.
The Doctor opens the door and stands aside to let me enter. I slowly step in, cautiously. It looks different and yet the room itself feels the same. There is still a console in the middle, but this is lighter and there is so much more glass. It's crisp and not as rough around the edges and yet it's still just as warm. I recognise it despite he fact that the whole interior has changed.
"She's missed you" The Doctor states.
Who's missed me? I thought it was just us here?
"What? Who?" I question.
"The Tardis, she's sentient" He explains.
"You mean she's alive?" I try to understand, I mean, this is just mad.
"Yes, and she's glad to have you back. She's always had a soft spot for you" he continues, its clear in his voice how proud and fond he is towards his ship.
"Well, that's sweet, but I'm afraid I really should be getting home now. So I'll have to say goodbye." I turn the conversation back towards my primary focus.
He gives me that look again. Staring at me with these dark, agonised eyes that pierce straight through me. Oh no...
"You are home" he responds.
"No, my home is with my family. Or at university. It's certainly not here. Now please, I don't mind which, just drop me off at home or on campus" I implore.
"But this is, I mean, it will be... one day..." He trails off, continuing to flap his hands to make up for his lack of verbal coherence.
"Please, just let me go home" I whisper, defeat in my tone.
"Nadine, it's not that simple..." He begins.
"Please!" I cry out in desperation.
Tears begin to fall as I let in shuddering breaths. It's starting to sink in that I'm not going home.
"You are home, this, right here, is your home. One day I swear to you the Tardis will be our home, sometime in the future you will call it that. I know it's hard right now, but I promise Nadine, this can be your home" he tries to soften the blow, and as I begin to break down more, he moves over to hold my arms and pull me into a hug.
I am angry.
I begin to push against him, trying in vain to escape his strong hold. But with his arms locked around me it is to no avail.
"Let me go! Get off me!" I sob, pushing my arms against his torso. Trying to shove him away and hurt him like his words have hurt me.
"Stop, Nadine!" He grunts as I land a stronger hit against his stomach.
Yet he remains firm in his grip, taking each blow until he is able to grasp a hold of both my hands. I begin to cry harder, heartbroken at the thought of never seeing my family again.
"Its okay, Nadine, just calm down. Deep breaths" he soothes, slowly lowering us both to the floor as I continue to cry and hyperventilate.
"I'm sorry, I wish I could help, believe me I do. But it would be useless. You will always jump to me, I don't know how to fix it yet. I swear, I'm trying. I'll find a way to fix this" I can feel in his voice how frustrated he is not to be able to provide me with a solution. But in my hysterics I don't have time to pity him and realise his good intentions, I am all too focused on my own loss and heartbreak.
I don't know how much time has passed, but ultimately I find peace as the Doctors fingers brush against my temples and I drift into the realm of sleep.