Fictions Mentioned:
Episode 22 - Mistaken Identity
OP Song:
Dies irae ～Amantes amentes～ 主題歌 『Jubilus』
"So where to now, my Lord Doctor," asked one Lady Anna Maria "Rusalka" Schwagerin, sporting a lady like smile, all as she grabs unto the right shoulder of the Doctor while he was working on the controls.
"Oh, I was thinking...," the Doctor sported a pondering expression. "Somewhere in the Verdant Isles of Kaliad I suppose. Nice vacation spot. Well, provided we avoid the period during the Sith Occupation. Rather troublesome time for that nice world, I must say. No wait, on second thought, probably not," the Doctor immediately rejected the idea at the last moment, shaking his head, not wanting to unknowingly jinx himself. "Thinking somewhere peaceful and normal this time for a change would be for the best."
And so, the Doctor begins to punch a few coordinates here and there, sending the TARDIS towards a destination somewhere completely ordinary.
Vworp Vworp Vworp
The TARDIS begins materialized in a random alleyway. The door opens to reveal the Doctor and Rusalka stepping out, with the latter sporting a new type of clothing that seemed to be that of a blouse, a yellow and red sleeveless type, more appropriate for the weather, instead of her usual SS uniform.
"Miami, Florida," the Doctor answered in casual stride, all as he and Rusalka stepped out of the alleyway. "The year 2014. One of the more normal Earths out there. One that is the native universe of a very old friend of mine who would no doubt be busy for the current moment due to his ordinary day time job."
"Old friend?," asked Rusalka, raising an eyebrow.
"Sam Axe. Well, Commander Samuel Axe, but I would usually call him Sam," the Doctor answered in turn.
"Interesting. What does this old friend of yours do for a living?," asked Rusalka.
"Oh his job is doing some work from the side as a Freelance independent contractor to give a brief summary, but enough about that, we are going to see a movie."
"A movie?," Rusalka said in disbelief, raised an eyebrow of curiosity, a little underwhelmed. "A little too underwhelming don't you think?"
"Well, I'd figure that I could use a little normal for a change. Just your random ordinary day, going to a cinema with the woman that you've known for quite a long while down the road," the Doctor shrugged his shoulders, answering in stride.
It was actually a pretty good movie all things considered. Pretty cliché at first glance but completely commendable. That was one thought of one Rusalka Schwagerin who was seated alongside the Doctor, all as he sported is his trademark 3D glasses.
It was one normal day as far as she was concerned. Nothing wrong was really happening. No supernatural attacks. No random anomalies. No nothing. Just her and the Doctor sitting at a cinema, somewhere near the beaches of Miami, all with popcorn and drinks in hand, all as they watched the middle part of the movie with hearts content for the normal way of things.
But then...
She begins to observed someone from within her sight. Somewhere to the right of the Doctor. It was a male, seeming to have a familiar resemblance to one Ash J. Williams, an old friend of the man that she loved and one of the 12 Core Members of the Multiverse League of Extraordinary Gentleman and Ladies.
"Hello there. Is this seat taken?," asked the man, all as he begins to pull a chair up.
"Sam!," the Doctor widened his eyes out in recognition of his old friend, eventually sporting a smile. "What are you doing here?"
The man, called "Sam" by the Doctor, responded with a stone cold look on his face, speaking in a growling tone. "So, you know who I am huh?"
The Doctor sported a confused look, all because of the look and the tone that his old friend was emitting. "Should I not...?"
"Alright, let's skip the pleasantries then. I'm here for Janet Hiller," said the man, eyeing him with that stone cold look.
"Janet Hiller? Who's Janet Hiller? What's going on here, Sam?," asked the Doctor, sporting a bewildered expression.
The man continued. "Look, I'm empowered to offer thirty thousand for the safe return of her son."
"What?," spoke the Doctor, bewildered.
At this point, Rusalka was just watching the entire situation in silence, all with a raised eyebrow of annoyance, exasperation, and intrigue. For she recalled the name "Sam" which was mentioned by the Doctor some time ago. Could this be him? If that's so, then what the hell is going on here? For the more that she listened to this conversation, the more she seemed to piece together a form of misunderstanding that seem to involve a kidnapping of someone's son.
"Um... Sam," the Doctor begins to raise both hands as if to calm his old friend down, slowly standing up from his seat. "I don't know what's going on, but there must be some kind of mistake..." but as he speaks, he was suddenly forced back down.
"Okay, you want to play it tough? We can play tough too." the voice gave it away even before Rusalka turned to see the man in sunglasses. His bald head and tanned complexion told the Doctor on who this was. Jesse Porter.
"Jesse, we're not going to need that. Are we...?" Sam looked from him to the Doctor.
At this point, the Doctor had enough, speaking in a serious tone that would begin to end it all, all with crossed arms. "The Doctor."
And with that, both Sam and Jesse begin to sport expressions of shock, silent for about a few seconds before eventually reacted. "Wait what!"
"Ahem! Boys!," Rusalka coughed, bringing the attention of the men, pointing towards someone who is now heading for the exit door. As Rusalka had noticed this someone a short while ago during the misunderstanding conversation between the Doctor and his old friend, she tended to notice how seeming eerily this someone had resembled the man she loved. About his height, at least, and clearly enjoyed the color blue in his wardrobe. Indeed, from a distance, she suppose that he could look just like him, if not for...
"Seriously?", the Doctor asked Sam and Jesse, very seemingly offended. "Look at that fake grin! Look at that chin and jawline! Look at those poor excuses for cheekbones! I know I don't look that horrid. And you mistake me for him? What, did you see him in a dark room or something? Have one too many mojitos?! I'm pretty much offended at this point, really I am!"
"Ah...ahahahaha," Sam sweatdropped in embarrassment, putting his hand to his neck in a gesture of contrition. "Sorry about that, Doctor. And with you look at that, new face." he pointed at the the Doctor's face being a little different than the last time he saw it, being more of a long face which was angular, with a jutting chin and aristocratic nose, but it was softened by a mass of dark brown hair that swept back down all the way from his high forehead to his broad shoulders, all in reference to the eighth incarnation of the Doctor, the Eighth Doctor.
"Compliments will get you nowhere, Sam," said the Doctor, speaking in an annoyed tone. "Now, can anyone please tell me what's going on here?"
Rusalka Schwagerin was simply leaning from the side of a wall, all while she watches in a raise eyebrow of amusement of the confrontation that is being listened to by the man she loved, listening in on a conversation via sonic screwdriver between the man who exited the cinema, the two men from earlier, and the client.
"...price is now fifty thousand," a voice growled over the speaker. The Doctor narrowed his eyes, having to grudgingly admit that over a telephone it could sound a little like him. "Or your little boy gets to meet a new daddy."
At that point, the Doctor was on his feet and was walking toward Rusalka, who was now sporting a serious expression.
"I don't have fifty thousand," a soprano voice wept. "Please."
"Not good enough."
Sam's voice cut in. "Now hold on here, pal..."
"Oh, not good," the Doctor murmured as I came up to Rusalka. She looked at me with bewilderment. "Anna, quick glance behind me. See that man who looks like he could be me if you were a middle-aged ex-Navy SEAL who drinks too many mojitos?"
"Yes," Rusalka answered in the affirmative. "Yes, I saw him, he honestly seems to be a spitting image of you if one were to see from a distance or two."
The Doctor curled his cheeks in a look of confusion. "I'm hurt, he's far too ugly to be me," I grumbled. "Did you see what vehicle dropped him off?"
"Oh yes, it was a black one, one of the big ones like..." Her green eyes scanned the nearby parking spaces. "Like that one over by the coffee shop."
The Doctor followed where she was looking. She had the sense not to point. Even the Doctor's eyesight couldn't beat the dark tinting of the windows, not at this distance. "Come along. Looks like we stumbled into a bit of a kidnapping case here."
And it wasn't all play-acting unfortunately. Seriously, the Doctor thought with annoyance, he looked much better than the "imposter", who scanned the area thoroughly. As he did so, the Doctor marveled in how different they actually looked if one were to look at their faces, even if their builds and fashion sense were depressingly similar. In his mind, he could borrow from Deadpool's book of meta-lore and simply imagine a freeze frame of the kidnapper with the caption of "Kidnapping Scumbag" and "Not The Doctor" sliding in from off-screen.
Oh for Omega's sake, this is just like that time with Barty Crouch, the Doctor thought in exasperation, recalling a time when he was mistaken for a Death Eater wizard.
The Doctor and Rusalka approached by a roundabout route, getting enough distance that could no longer listen be in on Team Axe-Porter trying to deal with the kidnapper. As they drew closer, the Doctor could make the outlines of a man in the driver's seat. "I need a distraction," the Doctor whispered.
"What kind?" asked Rusalka.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that, my Lord Doctor, there are several kinds of distractions," she pointed out to him.
Which of course meant that she was bringing up the obvious and less bloody one; which was to transform her petite body to her pre-L.D.O. body, eventually becoming a well-figured, beautiful red head who, even in 21st Century Miami, could manage to turn a few heads in a swimsuit that flattered her legs. One that made the Doctor's mouth thin lined in twitching displeasure.
"A more dignified one, that's it," said the Doctor, in a tone of finality.
Rusalka smirked. "Of course, my Lord Doctor," kissing him on the left cheek, then instantly transforming her petite body to her pre-L.D.O. body, eventually walking towards the SUV while the Doctor went around the nearest car and approached it from the rear.
By the time the Doctor was two cars away, he saw Rusalka's hand go up once. And just once. "You scratched my car!", she shrieked angrily.
"I didn't scratch anyone's car!", an American voice protested.
So the English kidnapper hired a local, thought the Doctor.
Rusalka was putting on a virtuoso act, making a scene big enough that a man with a captive child in the car would need to be careful not to draw attention. The Doctor slipped around the back of the car, avoiding the side mirrors' range as best as he could, and came up around the other side. He ran the sonic screwdriver over the lock and triggered it to unlock. The noise was audible... if Rusalka hadn't been yelling her head off anyway. Opening the door was going to be a different issue, of course, so he did a life sign scan. A small one, good. And on his side.
Oh well, here goes nothing, the Doctor thought.
He pulled the door open as quickly as he could and pointed his sonic screwdriver inside. The brutish-looking driver turned his head toward him with a look of confusion and anger on his red face. Before he could react further, the Doctor triggered the sonic to a narrow beam burst of, well, sonics. Rusalka and the boy wouldn't hear it, but he unfortunately could, screaming and holding his ears, thinking that he may have probably damaged his own eardrums with that stunt. Not that he was sorry for it.
The boy looked to be maybe four at the oldest. The Doctor extended a hand toward him as he looked at him with confusion and terror. Despite the suit and the voice, the Doctor thought that the boy was realizing that he was not his abductor. "Hello," he greeted the boy with a genuine smile and with gentle eyes, one that made the child stop shaking in fear due to realizing that the man who is now standing right in front of him is an entirely different person. "Come on. Your mum's nearby, I've come to take you back to her."
"You look like the bad man," the child said. "Who are you?"
"I'm the Doctor. And I'm definitely not the bad man. He stole my fashion sense. And my accent."
The boy moved over. His hair was the same tone as his mother's and the Doctor could see the other resemblances too. Once the Doctor had the child in his arms, he lifted him up and slammed the door. "Come along!"
The thug got out of the car, having recovered enough to at least regain the rest of his senses. He held his gun up to shoot at them. He didn't get the chance thanks to Rusalka. She used her leg to hook around his shin and, proving yet again that leverage beats sheer mass most of the time, shifted his leg out from under him. Once he was going down, she grabbed him by the hair at the back of his head and slammed his face into the SUV hood with enough force that the Doctor thought that he saw blood on the black surface when he looked back. She ran up to join them. "Hauptmann Leitner says I'm learning well," she said to thee Doctor with a smile.
"I thought I saw the Sam Vimes method of fighting there. Minus the Mrs. Goodbody special," the Doctor replied.
Rusalka smirked. "Well, looks like you've branched out. You're not rescuing a little girl this time."
"Oh, variety is the spice of life," the Doctor shrugged his shoulders.
"What do we do now?", Rusalka asked seriously.
"You hold onto the boy," the Doctor handed the Hiller boy to her. "And I go scout things out back at the restaurant and assist the other stooges."
Insert Song: Start
Dies irae - Animation OST: Krieg
The party had relocated to inside the structure proper by this point. The Doctor made a quick glance around and noticed... yes, the employees were armed. Oh, brilliant. Well, not entirely brilliant, this kind of thing would be detected by the authorities the first time you used it. But if you're a callous would-be mastermind criminal, you might consider it worth a one-time use if it improves the chances of a getaway from a tricky situation.
The four were seated at a corner table. Miss Hiller was in tears and the Doctor suspected Jesse was moments away from pulling out that gun. Which would probably be bad. The Doctor spied nearby implements of use and, in a motion, grabbed a chair and plopped himself down between Sam and Miss Hiller, putting him across from the "Kidnapping Scumbag".
"Well now, quite an interesting gathering," the Doctor said, flashing a confident winning smile. He pointed to the Scumbag with witty mocking humor. "Seriously, you thought I was him?" he glared at Sam and then at Jesse, both of which were sporting expressions of contrition. "Honestly? Look at that chin. Look at my glorious cheekbones and my boyish looks. You honestly thought I was him?!"
"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry, Doctor?," asked Sam, exasperatedly.
"As many as you have too," the Doctor replied.
"Who the bloody hell are you?!", the Scumbag demanded.
"Me? I'm the Doctor." the Doctor smirked, before eventually turning serious. "And I don't take kindly to people who try to hurt children. And since these gentlemen have such poor eyesight and dragged me into this by thinking I was you, I've decided to get involved personally."
"What the hell are you doing?", Jesse demanded bluntly.
"Getting the rugrat killed, that's what?" Scumbag pulled out his phone.
"Oh, I don't think so," the Doctor countered. "Black Ford Expedition. License plate R2L GD4." Scumbag scared daggers at the Doctor, who in turned made a smirk. "Really quite a gas burner, isn't it? Hybrids are so much better at fuel efficiency, aren't they Mister Finley?"
The woman gave Sam a curious look. Clearly she didn't know Sam's preferred alias.
"The boy is safe with my friend. Your bodyguard will wake up with one hell of a headache, I'll add," the Doctor crossed my arms and quietly gripped the sonic screwdriver. "So, let's make a new deal. You give the nice lady back her money and stay away from her and her sweet little boy. Or I come back."
Scumbag glowered. Seriously, the Doctor thought in exasperation, they thought this two-bit thug looked like me?!
"Don't be stupid. You've lost this round," the Doctor said in a low voice. "Be a smart businessman. Walk away."
"Nobody gets in my way," he rasped, utterly warping his accent in a way painful to the Doctor's ears. "Nobody."
Ah. So this is where things went wrong. The Doctor had been wondering on when he was going to get shot at again.
Scumbag stood up and put a hand into his jacket. As he did so, the Doctor saw that behind him the "bartender" and "waiters" were all reaching behind their belts too. The Doctor jumped to his feet. "Take cover!" he held the sonic screwdriver out and used a sonic burst to send Scumbag to the ground screaming, quite possibly with a busted eardrum.
As soon as they saw the guns come out Sam and Jesse were moving. The table flipped over and Sam pulled their client into cover while Jesse moved to a second table to get cover from that. The Doctor joined Sam and the client behind the table as bullets flew overhead and struck the glass.
"All right, Doctor, what's the plan?!" Sam asked as the glass shattered around us.
"Still working on it as I go along," the Doctor answered, all while looking at the glass pane which had left them an opening into the street, if they could get cover from the firearms anyway. The Doctor looked over at the object he had spied earlier and knew to be useful. "I'll buy you time to get your client to safety. Take a left at the road here and go into the right alley, my friend is waiting with your client's little boy."
The woman looked ready to tear up. Sam gave me a look of trust. "Alright, good luck. And sorry for dragging you into this. After this, I'll buy you a whole bundle of mojitos for compensation."
"Now wouldn't that be delightful," the Doctor smiled.
And then, knowing when to make his exit, the Doctor spun out of cover and brought the sonic screwdriver up. Sam and Jesse were opening fire from cover, buying the Doctor a critical moment to get to his feet and extend the sonic screwdriver with Setting 42. Bullets bounced off of the protective field and hit the ground. As shooters dived for cover, mystified at not having hit him, the Doctor got to the object that he needed.
It was, of course, a fire extinguisher. A very handy invention, the Doctor must say.
The Doctor grabbed it with one hand and gave it an underhanded toss that sent it back to the bar where the Scumbag and his shooters were gathering. As it hit the bar and triggered the sonic screwdriver, creating a thin beam of invisible energy that burst open the extinguisher. The chemicals inside exploded all over the gunmen, screams coming from behind the bar as they were covered in chemicals and broken metal. "Get out, now!", the Doctor shouted.
Sam led the terrified Miss Hiller through the broken glass, Jesse following and ready to provide cover fire. The Doctor went out the front door again to give them an extra target. Bullets started to fly our way again as the least-injured gunman got back up. But he would be too late and, indeed, would have greater trouble given the sirens wailing in the distance.
Insert Song: End
The Doctor arrived at the alleyway right before them. Rusalka was kneeling over, trying to comfort the terrified little boy all alone with strangers. When his mother rounded the corner into the alley he looked at her and screamed "Mommy!" in childish joy. She screamed his name - "Lewis, hrm" - and got to her knees to grab hold of her lost child, weeping happily.
Sam and Jesse stood beside her while Rusalka stood beside the Doctor. "Not bad," Sam said, while looking at Rusalka with an impressed expression. "I don't think you and I have met yet."
"Actually, you did, Sam," the Doctor replied. "She's the same woman who was with me back in the cinema."
"Wait what?," Sam and Jesse were both shocked.
"Hi!~," Rusalka did an appropriate sexy pose while introducing herself. "My name is Rusalka Schwagerin~. Nice to meet you~."
Sometime after the case, the Doctor, Sam Axe, and Jesse Porter were simply relaxing on their bending chairs, all with umbrellas and shades, somewhere on the beaches of Miami, all while as Rusalka was simply enjoying the waters, sporting a smile and laughed to her heart's content.
"(Whistle)," Sam whistled, looking at Rusalka with an impressed look. "I gotta hand it to you Doc, you sure know how to pick em."
"Not like I was trying to really," the Doctor simply said in exasperation, all while genuinely smiling as he sees Rusalka having fun at the waters.
"Still though, aren't you going to go over there? She's your girl after all, Doc," Sam sported a pointed expression, facing the Doctor.
"Oh she's fine," the Doctor waved his hand as he looked at Sam. "I'm sure she needs a few open spaces away from me every once in a while."
"Really? Cause it sure as hell ain't considering that she's coming right for you right this second," Sam said, slightly gesturing him to turn back to the front and see for himself.
"Huh?," the Doctor sported a confused expression, all while being suddenly lead by the hand by Rusalka, pulling off from his chair, pouting as she said. "Geez, my Lord Doctor, why don't you come and swim with me? I'm getting really lonely here you know?"
"Yeah Doctor, swim with her, you might need it eventually," Sam said, as he and Jesse were simply smiling in knowing humor.
"(Sigh)," the Doctor sighed, already expecting this at this point. "Alright fine, I'll come with you."
"Hooray!," Rusalka rejoiced, all the while leading the Doctor by the hand as they come to the waters.
Meanwhile, people among the beaches were whispering among themselves, with the men eyeing on Rusalka, muttering on how much of a lucky bastard the Doctor was, to which the Doctor heard from a mile a way, all while thinking to himself.
"Is this how my sons feel like when they get to be the center of attention when it comes to a woman?," he muttered silently in annoyance.
ED Song:
Dies irae: The Animation 『Jubilus』
Characters:
The Tenth Doctor - A: David Tennant
Lady Anna Maria "Rusalka" Schwagerin - VA: Yuka Inokuchi
Sam Axe - A: Bruce Campbell
Jesse Porter - A: Coby Bell