****A/N****

Happy Monday! I worked on a few chapters over the weekend and hope to post two or three between today and tomorrow.

It seems FF is having issues with email alerts if you use Outlook. I haven't received any for about three days and had to switch to a Gmail account. Hopefully you all get the notices for these new chapters!

Have a great week everyone!

S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 24- Setting Boundaries

BPOV

The morning after the interview with Detective Cullen, I woke up still feeling angry. Angry I would probably never get justice for what happened to me. I guess I was just going to have to learn to live with it, and move on.

Dr. Nelson told me I was going to be released tomorrow, and that news helped me feel a little better.

I tried not to concentrate on my anger, and instead, focus on the good things. A few more items in the 'plus column',...I was able to make it to the bathroom both last night and this morning, completely on my own. I brushed my teeth and peed all by myself, talk about winning.

The crowning achievement was finally getting a shower. Mary helped me, and wow, what a difference, I almost felt human again. I sat in bed and sniffed my hair , reveling in the clean scent while it hung loosely around my shoulders to dry.

Before I got in the shower, I took a look in the mirror at my naked reflection. I definitely lost weight and could see a few ribs. With my appetite returning, I was hoping I would put on a few pounds in the coming weeks.

My face looked better too. The bruise was fading, and the cut on my lip was almost completely healed.

I was just finishing breakfast, when there was a knock at the door, and I saw a smiling Carlisle stick his head in the room.

"So, I heard there was a young lady in here I just had to see today."

I beamed at him as he walked in, white lab coat flowing out behind him, and looking more handsome than any man his age had a right to be. Esme was a lucky lady.

"Hey Bella."He said as he continued to smile.

"Hi Carlisle." My smile equally as broad.

"I heard you're being released tomorrow. Happy?"

"Soooo happy. You can't imagine."

He sat down in the chair next to me.

"So, I talked to Dr Nelson. Looks like you're on your way to a full recovery. I don't think you'll have any problems bouncing back from this."

He looked down at his hands for a moment.

"Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am this happened to you. So sorry. I'm just glad Edward and Emmett were there. Hopefully this bastard will be caught, and thrown in jail quickly."

I looked over at him, thinking again how lucky I was to have met him and Esme when I came here. They were two of the most caring people I'd ever known.

"Thank you Carlisle. I hope so too."

I hesitated for a moment.

"You know, Detective Cullen saved my life. If he and Detective McCarty hadn't been walking that way at just the right time, I probably would have been...umm, it probably would have been a lot worse, I'm so grateful to them."

Carlisle was looking at me softly. "I'm grateful to them too."

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Actually, I'm feeling much better. Taking a shower really helped. The only thing I'm frustrated with is my memory. Dr. Nelson told me it's common, but it's really bothering me that I can't remember anything from that night. In fact, I'm having trouble remembering anything I did the entire day, even memories from a day or two before the attack are a little fuzzy."

Carlisle nodded his head.

"I know how frustrating it must be, but he's right, it happens more often than you think. It's your brains way of protecting you from the trauma. I had a patient once who had a massive heart attack while jogging one morning, and he lost the whole week prior to the incident, and never regained those memories."

I frowned.

"I know how much you want to remember. It must feel extremely unsettling to lose time, but maybe for now, for your mental health, it's better for those memories to stay buried for a little while. From what Edward told me, it wasn't a very pleasant experience."

I had to agree with him there. After seeing what Dolan did to me physically, maybe I didn't want to remember right away. I just wish I could remember his face so I could identify him if they caught him. I wanted to stand behind the one-way glass like they did in all those cop shows on TV, and look at the men in the lineup. I wanted to shout, "That's him officer! He's the one who did it! I'm positive!"

I looked up when I heard something by the door and saw Esme peek her head in the room.

"Hi you two." She said with a smile.

Carlisle stood up and met her halfway across the room, and gave her a lingering kiss on the lips.

"Hi darling, I just stopped by to say hi to Bella, but now I've got to get back to the kids. I promised them a movie today and I should get going."

He turned back to me.

" Bella, I'm glad you're feeling better. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Carlisle. Thanks so much for coming to visit."

He gave Esme another kiss, and waved to us as he walked out the door.

Esme walked over to the bed carrying a small bag with some of my things from the apartment. Since my keys were gone, along with everything else, we needed to call the building manager to let her in. It looked like she didn't have a problem.

She placed the bag on the chair next to the bed, and unzipped it.

"I'm pretty sure I got everything on the list. Let me know if I missed anything and I'll have Edward take me back."

"Esme, this is fine. I'm going home tomorrow, so you didn't even need to do this, but I appreciate it. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome dear, I was glad to do it. Do you want me to help you to the bathroom so you can get changed?"

"Nope, I'm good. I've been making a few solo trips, and it's my new favorite thing." I said with a grin and a wiggle of my eyebrows.

She laughed.

"Well ok then, you go get changed, and I'll just wait here. Edward should be by any minute."

Detective Cullen told me he would come by today and bring my notebook, the one item they found at the scene the night I was attacked. I was anxious to look at it to see if it would help me remember anything from that night.

I pulled back the blankets and swung my legs around to get out of bed, anxious to get into my own clothes.

When I emerged in my favorite soft sweatshirt and yoga pants, I felt like a completely different person. That, combined with the shower, made me feel a little bit like my old self. When I walked out from the bathroom, I saw Detective Cullen standing by the window. He was on the phone, but ended the call when he saw me, appraising me up and down with a smile.

"Well, you're looking better today. How are you feeling? Glad to be out of that hospital gown?"

I felt my face get warm. Oh my God, it was an innocent comment, why did inappropriate thoughts float through my head when he said it? What was wrong with me?

Between those thoughts and the highly inappropriate 'Ass Saver' inner colloquialism from a few days ago, I wondered if Dr. Nelson was mistaken, and there really was something seriously wrong with my brain.

Detective Cullen's eyes got wide.

"Ummm, what I mean is, it must feel nice to be in some of your own clothes."

I could still feel the heat on my face as I made my way over to the bed, nodding as I went.

"Yes, yes it does. Thank you for taking Esme to get my things, I really do appreciate it."

"Happy to help." He said quickly.

I settled myself back in bed and propped myself up. I could feel Esme looking at me, and I turned my face toward her. I could see she wanted to say something, but she looked hesitant.

I gave her a questioning look, and she clasped her hands together in her lap and took a little breath.

"Dear, I wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot." I said.

"Well, I was just wondering what your plans were when you leave the hospital tomorrow."

My plans? I didn't really have any set plans. I figured I would go back to the apartment, rest up for a little while, and then see if I could salvage anything in my search for Charlie. I guess that would depend if I found the key in the apartment.

I wasn't exactly sure why she was asking about my plans, and then it hit me. She must be wondering when I was coming back to the bookstore. This was her busy time. Thanksgiving and Black Friday were just a month away. I was probably leaving her high and dry.

"Oh my gosh Esme, I'm so sorry! You must be short handed at the store without me. If you need to hire someone else to get you through the Holidays, I completely understand. Don't worry about me at all."

She was shaking her head as I was talking.

"Oh no dear, no, no. That's not what I was going to say at all. I'm fine at the shop until you feel you're ready to come back...if you want to come back that is. It's just, well, it's just I was wondering if you planned to stay in Chicago. I know your friends and family are all on the West Coast, so I wasn't sure if you were planning to return home after this."

I could see Detective Cullen staring at me from where he stood by the window, an intense look on his face.

It made sense why Esme would think I might go back home, but I had already made my decision days ago. I was staying here.

"Um, no. I'm not going back to Washington, I'm staying here. I have a few more months paid up at the apartment, and there are still things I need to do here. Plus, I want to keep helping you at the store."

She smiled, but I could tell she had more to say.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're staying, and please, don't worry about the store, I'll be fine. Once you're feeling better, you can come back...but, I just wanted to throw something out to you, and please hear me out before you say no."

Now I was curious.

She brought her clasped hands up and placed them on the side of the bed.

"I want you to know I'm very much aware of how independent you are, I admire that about you. I also know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but, well... Carlisle and I were talking and..., well, we wanted to extend an invitation to you to come stay with us."

I started to protest.

"Just until you're feeling better and back on your feet one hundred percent. We'd love to have you, and it would really be more for my benefit anyway. Since Edward and Alice moved out, I don't have anyone to cook for anymore. Sometimes it's just me when he works late at the hospital, so you see, you would really be doing me the favor, by acting as my guinea pig for new recipes."

She looked at me with a hopeful expression.

Did I say I wished Esme was my mother? If I didn't, well, just, yeah.

Still, I knew I couldn't accept her invitation, as much as I might want to. She was right, I liked my independence, but more than that, I thought it was important for me to do this on my own. Furthermore, even though I knew she would say I wasn't, I would feel like I was imposing.

I looked at her hopeful eyes, and felt a twinge of guilt for what I was about to say.

"Esme, you don't know how much your offer means to me, I appreciate it, I really do, but I think it'simportant for me to do this on my own."

Her face looked a little crestfallen, and I could tell she wanted to say more to try to convince me . Instead, she gave me a small smile.

"I understand dear, I do, just know you can change your mind at any time. This is an open invitation. If you decide two days from now, or a week from now, you want to take me up on it, please let me know. We'd be thrilled to have you."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, really, and I promise, I'll think about it."

She seemed satisfied with my answer and said,

"Well, I'm going to get going to the bookstore. Have one of the nurses call me if you need anything, and I'll bring it right over after work tonight, ok?"

I smiled at her, and nodded my head. She grabbed her purse, and walked over to Detective Cullen to give him a kiss goodbye, and then, with a wave to us, walked out the door.

Detective Cullen looked over at me, and made his way to the chair next to the bed.

"You might want to reconsider, Esme really is a great cook. Sometimes I wish I never moved out, I can barely manage to make toast."

I chuckled. "Don't I know it. She's had me over for dinner a few times, and every dish she makes is phenomenal."

He was looking at me with a steady gaze.

"I know...Esme wanted to have Alice and I over a few weeks ago to meet you."

I felt myself blush slightly.

"Yes, she mentioned that. The way she talked about the two of you, I was looking forward to meeting you both."

He stared at me for a beat longer, and then reached down for something next to his chair.

"So. I brought your notebook with me today. Do you want to look at it and see if you remember anything?"

I nodded my head.

He pulled it out of a plastic evidence bag, and handed it to me. Yep, this was my notebook alright. I took it from his grasp, and opened it, flipping through the pages. I recognized my handwriting immediately. There was only one page with anything written on it.

Post Office, Car Wash, Key shop, Hardware Store, Call Jake.

Nothing jumped out at me as being out of the ordinary, well except for the hardware store. I didn't remember wanting to go to a hardware store. I felt a little disheartened because there wasn't more written in it. I flipped to the last page, and then back to the front again. Nothing.

"It's just my notes for my to-do list." I said with some irritation.

He nodded.

"That's what we assumed when we read it."

He was staring at me with that intense look again. He'd given me that look a few times. When he looked at me like that, it almost felt like he was trying to will me to remember something.

"Do you remember doing anything written on the list? Maybe you even did something that day?"

I sat and thought about it. I definitely remembered needing to call Jake, I had put that off for almost a week. As far as the Post Office and the car wash though, they had been part of my regular routine for a few weeks, I probably went to both on Friday, I just didn't remember.

"No, I'm sorry, I still don't remember anything specific I might have done that day."

He nodded his head, his lips in a thin line.

My anger with the situation came back again, and I said,

"Even if I did, how would remembering a random errand from that day even help?" I could hear the edge in my voice.

"I know it may not feel important, but just remembering something small could lead to something much larger. Remembering what you did that day could lead to you remembering the attack...and remembering his face. If you can pick him out of a lineup, that would be our ace in the hole when we catch him. Combining that, along with the print we picked up, would be all we'd need to send his ass to jail, hopefully for a long time. "

I looked down at the book and thought about what he said. It made sense. Wasn't I just thinking pretty much the same thing when Carlisle was here? That I wanted to be able to identify this guy like they did on TV? "

I looked back at him, and watched him run a hand through his hair before he said,

"There's uh, something else I wanted to talk to you about."

I waited for him to tell me.

"I know you reached out to some of your friends yesterday and, well, they responded to you on my phone."

Oh shit. Jake.

Nervously I said,

"Oh, right, that would be my friends, Angela and Jake. I didn't want them to worry."

If he read their replies, then he must have read my original texts. He knew I didn't tell them the truth about what happened.

I started to twist the blankets as I tried to figure out a way to explain why I didn't tell the people in my life what happened to me.

"I didn't exactly tell them what happened because I knew there was nothing they could do about it. I didn't want them to worry, and thought I would just let them know I was ok. I figured I would call them later with details."

He looked at me without saying anything for a moment.

"It's none of my business what you tell your friends Miss Swan, and you don't owe me an explanation. It's your life, and you need to do what you feel is best. The people in your life should respect that."

He hesitated, almost looking like he was deciding what he wanted to say next.

"The only reason I bring it up, is because one of them, a Jacob Black,...he was quite... persistent. He left a few voice mails which sounded rather,... anxious."

I was mortified to think Jake left voice mails on Detective Cullen's phone, especially if they were anything like the ones he left for me last week.

" So, I thought you might want to use my phone again, to call him and ease his concerns, let him know you're alright?"

I nodded my head.

"Yes, yes I would, thank you...I'm so so sorry. I know Jake can be a a lot to take, I hope he wasn't rude."

He pulled his phone out and handed it to me.

"You don't have to apologize, I'm sure your friends are worried about you. I'll just wait outside and let you make your call."

When he left the room, I looked down at the phone. I was pissed. Really pissed. This needed to stop. I picked up the phone and punched in Jake's number. He picked up on the first ring.

"Bella? Bella, is that you?"

"Hey Jake, yeah, it's me."

"Oh My God, are you ok? Your voice sounds funny. Why does your voice sound funny? I haven't heard from you in over a week, and then that random text came through, and I thought for sure something was wrong, and when I called back, the voice mail said it was some kind of Detective, and I was just..."

I interrupted him.

"Jake, stop."

He stopped speaking for a minute. "Stop what? I'm worried about you. I wanted to check on you."

I closed my eyes and tipped my head toward the ceiling, as I let out a quiet breath.

"Jake, listen to me. You need to really listen to me, not just say you're going to, but actually doit."

"I'm listening Bella, what, what is it?"

"You need to stop with the constant texting and calling and threatening to come out here. I'm a grown woman Jake, and I'm living my life. My life. Not your life, my life. You don't need to keep tabs on me every minute."

He wasn't saying anything on the other end. I felt a twinge of guilt, but continued. I needed to do this or he wasn't going to get the message.

"Look Jake, I know you're doing this because you care about me, I know you do. I care about you too, but our relationship isn't going to go in the direction you want it to, and you need to accept that. You don't get a say in how I live my life. I love you, and I don't want to hurt you, but you really just need to stop."

He was quiet. Even though I knew I needed to say it, I still felt guilty for hurting him.

"Can you just tell me if you're alright? Why are you using a Detective's phone?"

" I'm fine, really. The phone I borrowed belongs to Esme's son. I told you about Esme, remember? She owns the bookstore. When I lost my phone, her son loaned me his so I could text you and Angela. That's it. He just happens to be a Detective. Now please, please leave it alone. Stop calling his phone. It's embarrassing, especially after he was kind enough to loan it to me to reach out to you in the first place."

I felt another twinge of guilt, because I didn't disclose the true nature of Detective Cullen's involvement. The truth was, it was more than just him lending me his phone.

I could hear Jake breathing deeply on the other end. I knew he was frustrated and wanted to argue with me about this, but he didn't.

"I get it Bella, and I'm sorry. I just...I just miss you, and I worry about you that's all."

Another wave of guilt.

"I miss you too Jake, I mean that, I do. You're one of my best friends, but for right now, I need to live my life the way I want, and you need to respect that. Can you do that?"

I heard him take another deep breath.

"Yeah, I can do that. I don't like it, but I can do it. Yeah, so tell that Detective I'm sorry for blowing up his phone...it won't happen again."

"I will, and...Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll call you when I get my new phone so you'll have the number, ok?"

"Yeah, ok Bella, Ok, that sounds good, umm, Quil's calling me from the back, I gotta go...I,...I love you Bella."

I closed my eyes as I listened to the longing I heard in his voice when he said he loved me, and wondered if he would stick to what he said.

I had to trust he would try.

"I love you too Jake."

I hung up the phone and let out a sigh. I thought I made my point, but wondered if I would have to make it a few more times for it to sink in. I loved Jake, I did, but I couldn't let him try to turn our relationship into something it wasn't. If I lost his friendship over it, I would be heartbroken, but I needed to set my boundaries. I thought I did that. I also didn't want him bothering Detective Cullen any more.

I laid back against the pillow, proud of myself for taking another step toward moving forward.

****A/N****

If I've learned anything as I've gotten older, it's that setting boundaries is so important for your mental health. It took me a long time to realize I could say 'no' to things and people and not feel guilty about it.

Let me know what you think of the story. I love to read your thoughts. Hoping to get another chapter or two out in the next few days.