***A/N****

Let's see how Bella's doing.

S. Meyer owns all things Twilight

Chapter 26- Safe

BPOV

"Tell me what happened."

I was on the couch in Detective Cullen's arms, my hand still fisted in his shirt, tears drying on my cheeks. I didn't know what to say, and I started to feel stupid and embarrassed.

I let my imagination get the better of me, and now I felt like a fool.

He searched my face as he held me. "Tell me."He said gently.

I sniffled a few times, trying to get myself together, and finally looked up at him.

"I...I was going to bed. I fell asleep on the couch after you and Esme left. When I woke up, I was just going to go to the bathroom and then to bed. I, umm, I heard something, a noise outside, I think it was the storm, but then I heard noises in the hall..., it sounded like banging, or arguing... I'm not sure...and I...I...started to panic."

I remembered the fear and how terrified I was, thinking Dolan had come back.

"I thought he came back." I whispered. "I thought he came back for me and was going to..." My voice started to quiver. "I thought he came back and was going to, r-rape me."

I could feel the tears as they pooled in my eyes and spilled over.

He held me tightly and leaned his face into the top of my head. "Mother Fucker." he whispered. "Mother Fucker."

We stayed that way for a little while, him holding me, me holding his shirt. After a few minutes, he looked down and said, "I'm going to get you a glass of water, ok?"

I nodded my head, and he untangled himself, and pulled the blanket up over me. As he stood up, he said, "I'm just going into the kitchen for the water. I'll be right back."

I nodded again and watched as he walked into the kitchen. He paused, and I saw him look over at the butcher knife on the table and I felt even more foolish.

When he came back, he turned on the light next to the couch, and crouched down so we were at eye level. I turned my head on the pillow to look at him, and he handed me the glass of water. I took a few sips and handed it back, and he turned to put it on the coffee table. "Better?"

I nodded and he looked directly into my eyes. "He's not coming back. He got what he wanted. Hopefully we'll catch him before he robs or hurts someone else."

I knew he was right. The little bit of money I had on me was probably already gone, spent on Dolan's drug habit. I began to feel incredibly stupid.

Out of nowhere, a sudden thought popped into my head, and I looked at him in confusion and blurted,

"Why are you here?"

My eyes went wide. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I'm,... I'm glad you're here, really, what I mean is,...umm, why did you come by?"

He raised up from his crouched position, and I moved over so he could sit next to me on the couch.

"Esme asked me to stop by after work. She was worried about you since you didn't have a phone...but honestly, I was going to stop by anyway even if she didn't ask. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Things can feel different sometimes when the night rolls in."

I stared up at him. That's exactly what happened. I was completely mortified, remembering how I practically mauled him when he arrived at my door. He must have thought I was completely unstable.

"Detective Cullen, I'm so embarrassed and I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must think of me. I practically knocked you over, and ruined your shirt, and..."

He stopped me by placing his hand on my arm and shaking his head. "I'm just glad I came by. Really, I'm just glad I came by to check on you, and you're ok."

I felt pathetic. I wanted to go to bed and hide under the covers and pretend none of this ever happened. I certainly didn't want him to spend any more time catering to me. I started to sit up.

I removed the blanket he had draped over me, and started to fold it, my mind racing to try to find a way to apologize and also let him know it was ok for him to leave. He must have thought I was crazy.

"Thank you. Thank you for coming by. I appreciate you checking on me. I'm so sorry about this, I'm not sure what happened, but I'm uh...I'm feeling much better now, I don't want to keep you, I'll be fine. Tell Esme I promise I'll call her tomorrow."

He stared at me as if I were speaking a foreign language. " Yeah, no." He said with a humorless chuckle. " I'm not going anywhere."

I held the blanket mid fold. Oh God, he was going to stay here because he thought I was a mess.

But aren't you? A total fucking mess.

" Detective Cullen, no, I'm fine, really. You've done enough already, I just got a little scared and jumped at shadows. I let paranoia get the better of me, that's all, really, you don't need to stay."

He looked at me without a hint of humor in his face. "I'm not leaving."

He gaze was unwavering, challenging me to try and talk him out of it. As I stared back at him, I could tell he wasn't going to leave. He meant it.

We sat there for a few moments, and I had no choice but to admit defeat. I was exhausted from the ordeal, entirely self created as it was, and didn't have the energy to argue. I nodded my head and he smiled.

"Good. What else can I get you? Do you want more water? Something to eat?"

I shook my head 'no', wanting the floor to just open up and swallow me. "No, I'm ok, I think I'll just go to bed." I thought I'd give him one more chance, and added, "Are you sure? Are you sure you want to stay?"

His gaze stayed fixed on me. "I'm sure."

I stood up and went to the linen closet to get him a larger blanket and full size pillow. I brought them over and put them on the couch, feeling a little awkward and not knowing what else to say.

"I guess I'll just go to bed. Umm, the bathroom is over there if you need it, and the remote is right there for the TV if you want to watch something."

I started to walk toward the bedroom, and before I went in, he called out to me.

"Miss Swan?"

I turned around.

"I'm not going anywhere, and no one's coming in here. They'd have to get through me, and that's not happening. If you get scared, or you need anything, you yell for me, or you come out and get me, Ok?"

He raised one eyebrow, asking if I understood.

I nodded my head and closed the door behind me.

I got into bed and stared up at the ceiling. I was so embarrassed, humiliated even. God, he must have thought I was some weak , scared little girl. I felt tears trickling from the sides of my eyes. They ran down through my hair and onto the pillow. I turned over in the bed and stared at the wall. I could hear him out in the living room quietly talking on the phone. I didn't know if he was talking to Carlisle, or Esme, or maybe Detective McCarty. I could only hear bits and pieces.

"...fucking terrified ...thought Dolan had come back ...staying here tonight...will ask her tomorrow."

As upset as I was over my behavior, and what Detective Cullen must have thought of me, there was also a part of me that was glad he was there. Glad, because I knew I could fall asleep without worrying someone would break in. I drifted off to the sound of his voice coming from the living room, and felt something I hadn't felt all night...safe.

~!~

All I could smell was the strong and delicious aroma of coffee. Cindy was handing me a steaming cup just the way I liked it. I reached out to take it from her hand, but every time I would try, she would take a step back, pulling the cup further and further from my grasp. I gave her a confused look as I tried to grab it again.

What the actual hell, Cindy?

My eyes popped open. I was lying in bed, and my arm was raised above the covers, reaching for the cup of coffee Cindy was never going to give me.

I blinked a few times and lowered my arm. The coffee smell was still strong. It smelled good...where was it coming from? Next door?

I sat up quickly, the events of last night coming back to me in a rush. Oh God, oh God, did that really happen? Did I really make a complete and utter ass out of myself in front of Detective Cullen?

Why, yes... yes you did in fact. He's in your kitchen right now, and by the smell of things...making coffee.

I pushed the covers off. I could hear the cupboards squeaking and the refrigerator opening and closing. I got out of bed, walked to the door and opened it a crack, and could see him in the kitchen. His back was to me, and I could see he was only wearing jeans, no shirt. They sat low on his hips, and they fit,... well, they fit really well. I could see the band of his underwear peeking out. His hair was standing up in all different directions, like a multitude of divining rods searching for water.

Was that just how it was when he woke up every day?

I felt my face get hot as I watched the muscles in his back and arms move, as he reached effortlessly to grab a mug from the cabinet. His hand plucking the cup from a shelf so high, I always needed a step stool to reach it. He moved with a fluidity that was mesmerizing.

I always knew he was fit, but seeing him without a shirt was an entirely different matter. The muscles in his back and arms were well defined, not huge like his partner Detective McCarty, but still strong and capable. I remembered how his arms felt around me last night when he held me on the couch.

I opened the door a little more, and stepped out into the living room.

He must have sensed or heard me, because he turned abruptly, mug in hand. We just stared at each other for a moment, and then he blinked, and said,

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

I stood on one socked foot while the other ran up and down my stationary leg, nervously trying to scratch an itch.

"I um, I slept really well. The coffee smells good."

I tentatively made my way into the kitchen and sat at the table, where he placed a full cup in front of me. I looked up at him with a 'thank you' as I watched him go into the living room and grab his long- sleeved thermal shirt from the arm of the couch.

I think my mouth may have been hanging open slightly as I watched him, in one effortless motion, pull it over his head, insert his arms through the sleeves, and drag the bottom of it over his lean torso, all while walking back to the kitchen.

He was poetry in motion.

Poetry in motion? Drink you coffee.

I tried to smooth my hair. God, I hadn't even looked in the mirror before I came out here.

He took the chair opposite me, holding his own mug.

I picked up the cup, closed my eyes, and took a sip. "This is good," I sighed.

He smiled, and watched me as he took a sip of his own. "So, about last night..."

Crap. Here we go. I guess we're just gonna get right to it.

I was hoping I could stall or put it off for,... oh, I don't know, maybe the next fifty years? No such luck.

I put on my best, brightest, smile and launched into what I rehearsed in my head last night.

"Detective Cullen, I want to thank you again for last night. It was so nice of you to stay with me, you really didn't have to do that. More importantly though, I want to apologize again. I realize now, there was nothing to be afraid of, I just have an extremely overactive imagination, it all seems so silly in the light of day, and I'm not even sure why I was so upset last night."

I felt like I started off strong, but damn, there was a nervous laugh at the end.

He looked at me over the rim of his mug, while he took another sip of his coffee.

"You know you have nothing to be embarrassed about, right? You had every right to feel anxious and afraid after what you've been through. Frankly, I would've been surprised if you hadn't felt uncomfortable. Are you sure you won't consider telling one of your friends, ummm, Angela is it? Maybe she can come out and stay with you for a little while?"

I wondered why he didn't mention Jake, especially after all the voice mails Jake left on his phone.

I shook my head. "No, I don't want anyone to come out here."

He didn't say anything for a moment and took another sip of his coffee. "Well I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay alone. If you're not going to call your friends, I think you should seriously consider staying with Esme and Carlisle, you know they'd love to have you...and Miss Swan? I don't mean to over step here, but I also think it might be a good idea for you talk to someone, a professional. There are a lot of good organizations out there. I have a few names I could give you for ones we recommend to victims of assault."

He wasn't telling me anything I didn't know myself. Dr. Nelson even recommended I go to some kind of therapy to deal with what happened.

My first reaction was to brush off the suggestion, but in the back of my mind I was thinking about later tonight. When Detective Cullen left today and I was alone again, what was going to happen then? What was going to happen when darkness fell, and I heard something in the hall, or outside my window? Was I just going to sleep with a butcher knife under my pillow for the rest of my life?

I started to feel anxious thinking about it, as memories of last night came back.

I took another sip of coffee, and he continued to watch me patiently as I considered what he said.

I knew he was right. I didn't think I would make it another night by myself, even if I had a phone.

That realization made me angry, and made me feel weak, but I also knew I needed to address it.

I continued to wrestle internally with what to do, until I finally decided I needed to take Esme up on her offer. I would just have to do my best and not think of it as imposing. Maybe I could tell her I wouldn't accept payment when I went back to the bookstore...as a trade.

That idea made me feel a little better, like I had more control over the situation.

I met Detective Cullen's gaze. "Ok. I'll stay with Esme and Carlisle."

He smiled at me over his mug. "Great. She'll be here in twenty minutes."

My mouth popped open. "Wwwwwhat?" I stuttered.

"I spoke to her last night after you went to bed, and told her I would talk to you about it this morning, Carlisle's dropping her off here before he heads to the hospital."

I guess I should have known she would want to come over, but it just felt like it was all happening so fast.

He must have noticed my expression, because when he looked at me again, his smile was gone, his face more serious.

"I saw you last night, remember? I witnessed first hand how terrified you were, Christ, I don't think I'll ever forget the look on your face. There's no way I can let you stay by yourself after that."

I didn't say anything. As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I knew last night was bad.

I watched him as he got up and grabbed the coffee pot, and poured us both another cup. He tried to lighten the mood. "She's bringing bagels. I'm starving, how about you?"

I nodded at him, not sure what to say.

He sat back down and looked at me.

"Look, Miss Swan, I'm not trying to make decisions for you, it's your life. I told you that the other day, but I think you know deep down,... for now...you need to stay with someone until you figure out how you're going to deal with what happened, and I...well I,...just want to help you do that...and so does Esme."

I looked at him and saw the earnest expression on his face, and knew he was right. I needed help, and I needed to accept it from the people who were offering it to me right now.

I turned my head and stared out the window, not saying anything for a few moments.

"Ok." I finally whispered.

"Ok."