Part 10

"Hey, look who it is." Starsky smiled as Hutch and Huggy entered his room the next morning. "How are you feeling?"

"Lousy." Hutch admitted and with this Starsky noticed Huggy cast him a sideways glance, communicating clearly just the sort of night that his friend had had.

Starsky sighed.

"Oh, come on Starsk." Hutch muttered as he rubbed his tired eyes and noticed the look his best friend gave him in response to this. "Don't look at me like that."

"Well you're not exactly making this easy for us are you Hutch?" Starsky scolded him, his concern evident. "I just want you to open up to me, tell me how you're feeling. Is that too much to ask?"

Hutch didn't respond and Starsky, realising that he had brought the barriers down on them all again, gently changed the subject. He knew that he was going to have to try and get through to his friend, but pressurising him into talking before he was ready wasn't the way to go about it and could cause him to withdraw even further into himself. It would take time and patience to chip away at the wall Hutch has built up around himself – in some misguided attempt to protect those around him as well as himself – but Starsky had an announcement which he hoped might go some way to help make Hutch feel a little bit better.

"Well, I have some good news of my own." He told them both with a grin on his face. This was the genuine Dave Starsky article, and Hutch felt his heart lifted slightly to see his partner looking so genuinely happy again – more than a forced gesture to mask his pain.

"Oh yeah, what's that then?" Huggy asked, perching himself at the end of Starsky's bed as Hutch continued with his stance of silence by the window, gazing down absently at the city streets below. His stance mirrored that of the day before – the look on his face no less haunted.

"The doctor's think that I should be fit enough to return home in a couple of days." Starsky revealed to them with renewed cheer to his tone, whilst all the time not taking his eyes off Hutch – who he was relieved to at least see turn to look at him in acknowledgment of this news. He smiled meekly – and Starsky recognised that although the relief was genuine there was a heaviness there preventing the gesture reaching his cheekbones. "They're pretty assured that I'm now far enough along in my recovery to cope with being home again…" He continued. "They're even now saying that I should eventually make a full recovery." He added. This last statement was made more for Hutch's benefit than it was for Huggy.

"Well that's… that's great Starsk, really great." Hutch forced his smile a little wider as he edged closer to the bed, drawing closer to Starsky's side.

"They said that I shouldn't really be left alone for too long though… just for the first few days whilst I'm finding my feet again." He added, as he directed another calculated glance in Huggy's direction. Huggy knew immediately what Starsky was implying, and he knew that Hutch would have been the one to insist on it even if Starsky hadn't suggested it first. He also knew that the proposed arrangement wasn't entirely for Starsky's own benefit, and responded with an intuitive wink in Starsky's direction to signify that he knew what he had been about to suggest, and that he approved.

"So I was wondering…" Starsky continued, "if it would be alright with you if I came to stay with you for a while… it's either that or this oppressive, cheerless hospital room for another few weeks… I know that I won't be able to return to work for a while yet, but well, you know how I feel about being cooped up for too long, the claustrophobia's already beginning to set in."

"You know you don't even have to ask Starsk." Hutch told him as he finally closed the gap between them. "Of course you can stay with me for as long as you need!"

From this close proximity Starsky could see with his own eyes that the past few weeks had taken their toll on Hutch. He looked ill – drawn and exhausted. There were dark rings around the man's sunken eyes, and an unhealthy pale grey hew to his skin.

"Listen…" Hutch faltered after a moment. "I'm just popping out to get some coffee, anybody want anything?"

Despite the sickening seed of concern which had rooted itself in the pit of Starsky's stomach he struggled not to let it show through his smile and reached out to take hold of his best friend's hand – squeezing it warmly as Hutch turned to leave.

"No thanks buddy." He said. "I'm nearly through with hospital food now, and the coffee here's just as bad."

"Fair enough." The blonde nodded. Starsky noticed just how cold his fingers were as Hutch returned the light squeeze. "I'll be back soon."

"Hutch…" He called after him as he headed towards the door.

"Yes?" The blonde asked, turning back around to face his friend – his very best friend in the whole entire world.

"It's going to be alright partner." Starsky told him. "We're going to be alright."

Hutch's smile turned watery, and for a moment Starsky wondered if the dam might have been about to break as he looked as though he might burst into tears. He swallowed hard, and Starsky could tell that he was struggling to hold back the tide.

"I know Starsk." He nodded from his position in the now open doorway to Starsky's hospital room. "I know… Listen I'll be back soon ok?" He promised him, his hand already poised on the handle, as he slowly pulled the door closed behind him.