Well, this is interesting, isn't it? Running two Pokémon stories at the same time. Well, let me tell you something about this one. Even though this story is genred as a parody, I'm still going to treat the story itself seriously. If anything, I'm going to parody the aesthetics of this story that you haters of X/Y criticize. If there's something bad, I'm going to blow that badness out of the water so much it goes to being funny, or just ridiculous to the point it's memorable. If they're any characters you don't like, I'm going to parody them to heck and back just to get you laughing. And I'm going to overblow Ash's and his friend's hero destiny plot armor stuff to the point it's...well...you get the point by now. Enjoy. Or at least try to hopefully since I've never written a parody before.
A little fletchling, a white colored bird with a red head an black beak, was flying up a set of stairs into a boy's bedroom. Sleeping in bed was now 16 year old Ash Ketchum. It flapped over the sleeping boy a little bit before dive bombing into Ash, waking him up abruptly.
"Ow! My side! Your beak is sharp you know!" He yelled at the bird. Removing the damaged blanket, it revealed a bloody hole, and a few similar dot shaped wounds around his midsection on both sides. "One of these days you're going to poke one of my kidneys out. Way to start off a birthday." Ash grumbled as he grabbed some big bandages and wrappings. After cleaning and dressing his new wound, he dressed up in his blue jacket and blue jeans, finishing it with boots and a red hat. He took his shades, but didn't think they were necessary so he put them away. Going downstairs, he saw his mom making breakfast. "Mom, that bird tried pecking my appendix out again." He complained to her.
"Good morning Ash! You sure slept well. All rested up from the move?" She asked, much to Ash's confusion as she didn't acknowledge what he said.
"What are you talking about? We've been here for half a week." Ash pointed out.
"It's about time you got going." She said with emotion, but was acting almost robotic like with a program.
"Huh? Where would I-"
"Why don't you go outside and say hello to the neighbors?"
"Mom, I'm hurt, and you're not making any-"
"Why don't you go outside and say hello to the neighbors?" She repeated in the exact same way.
"Mom, wha-"
"Why don't you go outside and say hello to the neighbors?" She repeated in the exact same way.
"Mom! Why are you acting like this?!" Ash yelled in a panic as he shook her shoulders, trying to get some sense back into her. But she simply took his hands, twisted him around and pushed him out of the open door while saying in the exact same way, "Why don't you go out-" The door was closed before she even finished her sentence.
"Mom! Mom, let me in!" Ash cried out, trying to open the door but it was locked. Which was weird because it didn't have a freaking lock so it couldn't be kept closed like that. He then proceeded to bang against the door but no luck either. Man, that's pretty messed up isn't it? A mom throwing her kid out for no reason. It's like she was programmed to do that all of a sudden.
"Welcome to Vaniville Town!" Someone greeted behind him. He turned to see two beautiful girls. One was fair skinned and wore a black sleeveless shirt and a red skirt reaching her mid thighs. Her legs were covered in black thigh high socks and black sneakers with red accents. Around her right arm was a medium sized pink purse. Her long blonde hair was held back in a ponytail. The other one had a slightly darker skin complexion, shorter than both of them, and wore a mostly pink outfit such as a pink shirt with black bows going down the front, a bright pink bag and pink shoes with white accents. Her legs were completely exposed as she wore black short shorts. And her brown hair was put up in the weirdest way Ash has ever seen. "Do you remember me?"
"Uh...should I?" He asked, still thrown off by his mother acting like a robot. The teenage girl looked a little annoyed.
"Come on Ash. It's me, Serena Burton! We were childhood friends in Kanto!" Then he remembered, gaining a smile for the first time since waking up within the past five minutes.
"Oh, Serena! Yeah, I remember! We were like what, 5 or 6 years old since you moved? How has Kalos been?"
"It's been fine. Rather boring but I had friends." Serena shrugged, crossing her arms while having an indifferent face.
"Hello!" The other girl greeted him. "My name is Shauna Bonnet! Great to meet you! Guess what? We've come to get you!"
"Get me? For what?" Ash asked.
"The esteemed Professor Sycamore lives here in the Kalos region." Serena started to explain. "I was told he has a request for all of us. Though I'm surprised he knows who you are. You did just move here, after all."
("Yeah and got kicked out apparently.") Ash thought to himself in grimace.
"We'll wait for you in the next town over! And you know what?!" Shauna questioned with great excitement.
"What?"
"We're going to get...a Pokémon! Come on, hurry up, let's go!" She yelled before she and Serena ran off. Ash looked back at his house.
"Mom, you better be acting normal when I come back." The young teenager quietly spoke towards his house before slowly walking to the next town since his sides hurt. Passing a guy talking about the newest technologies, it was thankfully it short walk before reaching Aquacorde Town. To his left he spotted Serena, Shauna, and a young boy that didn't look that much younger, but was just more smaller, skinnier and not very social looking. Shauna spotted Ash and waved him over.
"Hey Ash! This way! Over here!" As he approached, she continued speaking. "We were just talking about you while you were away!"
"Isn't that considered rude?" Ash inquired.
"Anyway, have a seat!"
"This is our normal meeting place. Me, Shauna, Trevor and Tierno." Serena told him.
"Where's Tierno then?"
"Oh, he's moved on to a better place." Shauna said sadly.
"Oh, did he die?" Ash asked sympathetically, but she just looked confused.
"Huh? Who said anything about being dead? Tierno's in Luminose City living his dream as the top dancer in the region. Became popular when he was 11." Ash sweated from the way she worded why Tierno was away.
"So that leaves Trevor Crouch." Serena introduced the young boy, wearing an olive colored vest over a white shirt and dark grey pants. His orange hair was quite big and round for his head. Almost like a non curly afro. "He never misses a single question on a test, but he's a bit of a wimp socially."
"You don't have to say it like that." Trevor complained but she ignored him.
"Anyway, we should give you a nickname."
"Oh! Oh! How about Li'l Ash! Because he's just so cute!" Shauna reached over the table to pinch his cheeks.
"Stop it!" Ash objected as he swatted her hands away.
"Nah, he should be nicknamed something cool. Like O-Meister. Trevor, what do you think?" Serena asked the shy boy, making him shrink back.
"You want my input on someone I just met?! You shouldn't put people on the spot like that. Well...if I had to say something, it should be low key. Maybe something like Big Ash?"
"Tsk, that's dumb." Serena scoffed. "Does Ash look big in any regard?"
"Well what did you expect? What if Ash doesn't want a nickname?" Trevor pointed out.
"Yeah, none of those really suit me." Said teen agreed.
"Awww." Shauna sighed in disappointment. "Well, I'm sure we'll be great friends anyway!" She perked back up like no big deal. "Anyway, can we see the Pokemon now? I want to see my new partner!"
"Alright. Here they are." Serena obliged as she got out three pokeballs. "Choose wisely. I'm only giving you first pick because you moved here Ash. On the left is the Spiny Nut Pokémon, Chespin. The middle is the Fox Pokémon, Fennekin. On the right is the Bubble Frog Pokémon, Froakie."
"Oh, I didn't expect to get one. Ummmm...I think I'll go with...froakie." Ash picked the right ball, which Serena complained.
"Aw man! I wanted froakie! Fine, I guess that even though it's a type disadvantage, I'll pick fennekin. The line is prettier anyway than the grass one."
"Than that leaves me with Chespin! Come here new friend! We're going to be so great together! Chespin is just way so cute!" Shauna cheered as she took the last ball. Trevor looked sad.
"What's the problem Trevor?" Ash asked him.
"Oh he's just down from the fact we played rock paper scissors and he lost out at getting a starter. That's what you get for sticking with paper twice."
"So it's settled. We're all real Pokémon trainers now."
"Does Trevor have a Pokémon?" The older boy asked.
"I-I have a pikachu. He's called Raiden, named after the Japanese god of lightning and thunder." He responded nervously, though he started growing a smile. "Plus, it's okay if I don't get a starter like you three. I have something much more valuable."
"And what would that be?" Ash inquired. Trevor dug into his bag and brought out...a Pokedex!
"Tada! It's a Pokedex! It houses all the information about Pokémon! Or...at least it will once I catch one of everything."
"Pretty tough to do since there's over 600 different Pokémon." Shauna mentioned.
"So what! Even if there were over a thousand, I'm going to catch them all! With this, I will understand Pokémon on a much deeper level!"
"Moving on." Serena said, deflating Trevor's moment, she handed Ash a letter. "It's for your mom from Professor Sycamore. You should go give it to her. Well, with that done, I'm going to go train with Fennekin. I should probably make my own nickname for it. Well, see ya." Serena then left.
"I'm just going to...uh...go as well. See you later Ash." Trevor said before scurrying away. That just left Ash and Shauna.
"Hey Ash, you're going to be my opponent in my Pokémon battling debut! Li'l Chessie and I are going to have our first battle! Let's win it with style!"
("So she used her nickname on her Pokémon. Alright, so long as it ain't me.") Ash shrugged. "Alright, I don't mind. Let's just take it easy. My sides are hurt because of a fletchling."
"Oh, okay!" She agreed. Once the two teens were away from the table and were at a battle field on the outskirts of the town, they began. "Chessie, style time!" She sent out her Spiny Nut Pokémon, Chespin. If one were to try to guess what animal chespin was, the most accurate guess would be a bipedal mole or hedgehog of sorts. She had a predominantly light brown front torso and face and dark brown arms. Opening its mouth she had rodent like incisors. Covering her back was a tough shell, but what made this chespin special wasn't that she was green like normal grass types, but red instead, extending from her leaf like spikes covered head all the way down to her tail. "Wow Chessie, you're a shiny! I'm so lucky!" Shauna screamed with absolute joy. Ash grinned.
"Congrats. Now then, Froakie, I choose you!" Ash let loose his Pokémon. She had ice blue skin, white hands, and a dark blue stripe right down the middle of her head in between her big yellow eyes, protruding vertically due to their size. She appeared to have a mane of white opaque bubbles around her neck and back, and two around where a nose should be.
"Hey, yours is a shiny too! Normally a froakie is light blue but yours is ice blue! We're both lucky!"
"Cool." Ash smiled. "Alright Froakie, use...uh...what move do you have?" The new trainer asked his Pokémon. To answer that, Froakie leapt forward with incredible speed for a starter Pokémon, and punched Chessie in the face, sending her tumbling onto her back. "Pound, okay."
"Chessie, are you okay?!" Shauna asked her new starter. Getting up, Chessie rubber her sore cheek, and looked ready to rumble with her adamant look. "Alright! Use Tackle!" The grass type started charging at the water frog.
"Dodge and use Pound again!" Leaping over the running foe, she pounded against the grass type's back, but groaned in pain from how much it hurt this time.
"Yeah! Chessie's shell is super tough! Use Vine Whip!" This time, Chessie did manage to hit Froakie with two vines from the back of her neck, which looked like a strong blow as she was pushed back quite a few feet, landing on her side painfully. The water type did manage to get up though. "All right! Vine Whip once more!" In a flash of quick thinking, Ash yelled,
"Use your bubbles!" Seeing what he had in mind, Froakie grabbed two of its frubbles to catch the vines and pulled, drawing in the surprised grass type. Going onto her back, the water frog let Chessie land on her legs, and then 'jumped', thus sending her foe into the air, yelling all the way.
"Whoa, what are they planning?" Shauna gasped.
"Pound!" Ash ordered. Froakie waited until the right moment when Chessie started to fall, and then jumped up to give a critical pound into the Spiny Nut Pokémon's body. Chessie spat out saliva from the pain, unable to make a sound. Even better, while they were in the air, Froakie jumped from her opponent, sending Shauna's Pokémon smashing into the ground, landing beside Ash. Chessie had fainted.
"Oh no! My Li'l Chessie!" She ran to her starter. After making sure her starter was okay, she groaned. "Aw man, we lost. I wasn't done watching my cute Li'l Chessie."
"Well done Froakie. You did a good job." Ash told his water frog, whom nodded with a quiet froak.
"Wow, you're amazing!" The female trainer told her new friend. "Let me heal Froakie for you."
"Oh, thanks." He replied. After both their Pokémon were healed and returned to their pokeballs, Shauna was ecstatic.
"That was so cool! I can't wait to go on an adventure with you! Oh right! you have a letter to deliver to your mom. See you later!" The girl then ran off. "Wait until Serena hears about this!"
"Cool." Ash uttered to himself, thinking about what just happened. It was tough to process, but he believes he just made friends with the friends of Serena. And he now has a Pokémon. Digging out the letter for his mom, he sighed, having to give this to his strange acting mom. Going back to Vaniville Town, he found the door was unlocked and entered. "Mom, how could you just kick me-"
"What did you and the neighbor kids end up doing?" She asked, still being strange and robotic like.
"Well, battling but don't change the sub-" He was getting irritated again but Delia cut him off.
"Wait one second Ash, is that a pokeball you have there? You got your own Pokémon? Lucky you! How about that? You're a Pokémon trainer. Congratulations!"
"Are you going to let me-"
"Oh, a letter for me?" She took the letter without letting him hand it to her, opened it and read it. "It says it's from someone named Sycamore. What could it be? A love letter?" After just a second of more reading she then said, "Wow, what lovely handwriting. What do we have here? A request? Oh I see! Ash, we're unpacked and all kinds of exciting things are happening!"
"Mom, you-"
"Ok, let's get you and Froakie ready for your journey."
"Wait, how did you know-" But Delia has already left to go grab a change of clothes, gave them to Ash, and yelled cheerfully as she pushed him out, "What an unexpected turn of events! It's just like a sudden last burst of speed from a racer in a Rhyhorn race!"
"Wha...rhyhor-"
"You made friends, you met your Pokémon, and now you get to take a lap around Kalos! Oh, and don't forget this!" She handed him a town map once he was outside. "I don't know what this Professor Sycamore wants you to see on your trip, bit taking a trip with your Pokémon is a wonderful experience!" She then closed the door on him again. He tried getting in, but no luck again.
"Dang it mom!" He screamed in frustration. Sighing in resignation, he put the clothes and town map into his bag, checked and found he had...no useful money since he had no euros. He felt like he wanted to cry, but he wasn't going to let the whole town see him. He'd just do it offscreen where nobody would see since they wouldn't be able to help anyway. After letting the horrible feeling of homelessness and parental abandonment wash over, Ash reluctantly went off to find his friends with a feeling of despair and need of companionship.
A/N: Well this was something different. You may have noticed a few things. One, why is Ash's mother acting like Grace specifically from the game? Well, we know how little of a role she has, so I really played up that she's nothing more than the introduction of the game and has no purpose than getting the kid out of the house. As for why Serena is a bit more rude, I don't know about you guys but to me she's just a few things away from being a tomboy, so I wanted her as that. Not exactly a bully but doesn't pull her punches with words either. As for Tierno...he's pretty much useless for me. Don't get me wrong, what he wants to be is a great goal and I like how enthusiastic he is in wanting to be a dancer despite not having a dancer like body. I would even wish him luck if he wanted to be a top coordinator. But that said, given that he can't help but mix dancing and battling, he's just a mess and I would rather just not deal with him through the whole journey. He'll make an appearance every now and again and even battle a couple of times, but that's as much as he's getting. What did you think of my first attempt at parodying the game? Let me know in the reviews below.