Author's Note: How many of you think that Nick Jr. is telling the truth? Are we going to see some action? Will Nick Jr. and Skye get together or will they hate each other forever? If you don't know the answer to the last one then you're not a regular reader. Rated M for you know why.
Chapter Seven: Ice Cold
Tundra Town
(Du Hast by Rammstein)
Ice Cube was widely considered to be the rowdiest, sleaziest establishment in Tundra Town, and one of the most scum infested locations in the entire city. A giggling Nick escorted a nervous Skye into the building, which had no windows for reasons that were quite clear inside.
There were flashing colorful lights that made the place unbearable for epileptics, all in sync with the heavy metal music that blasted from the club's sound system. Skye also got to see several, fully nude female mammals of just about every species native to the arctic dancing on small stages scattered throughout the club. Though it wasn't so much dancing as it was a bunch of hoes flashing their privates to music for the amusement of a bunch of drunk and horny strangers.
"I hate this place," said Skye.
"Good," replied Nick, "now I know you're not a lesbian."
"What language is this music even in anyways," asked Skye.
"No clue," replied Nick, "but it's a real banger if I do say so myself."
"Easy for you to say," muttered Skye.
Elsewhere in the club, Joker, along with a brown bull in a fishnet tank-top and an antelope in a soccer jersey sat at a secluded table watching the "entertainers." Mammals like David Grassman and Joker were the type who drew in fellow scumbags, a case in which somehow being homicidal maniacs made them popular. The antelope seemed to be all for this anarchy shit while the bull was more interested in business opportunities.
"So what kind of chicks are you guys into," asked Joker, "prey, predator, big, small?"
"That snow leopard looks like a fine piece of ass," said the bull as he pointed to her, on the stage to the group's left, "maybe when we're done razing the town I could buy all the feline hookers I want."
"I'll fuck anything that breathes," said the antelope.
"So you wouldn't mind if I shot one of these sluts," asked Joker as he revealed the massive pistol he had holstered inside his jacket.
"Actually," said the bull, "I'm enjoying the show."
"Yeah, me too," echoed the antelope.
"Pussies," muttered Joker as he covered the gun back up.
Nick and Skye continued to search through the club, until Nick suddenly heard a familiar female voice.
"Hey Slick Nick," called out another arctic fox vixen, this one being a performer.
"Oh, hey Lacey," replied Nick, "long time no see."
Emphasis on the last part, thought Skye, this guy just keeps getting worse. First, he smokes on duty and talks crap to me, then I find out all the other cops have good reasons to hate Mr. Mommy Issues. Now I learn that he hangs out with strippers.
"So you're here for business or pleasure," asked the nude vixen, surprisingly in a very nonsexual way.
"Business this time," replied Nick, "by the way, Madame Hopps gave me a new partner. Skye Frost," he introduced the two vixens to each other, "this is Lacey Norberg. She's worked with me in the past."
"I can see that," grumbled Skye, who was surprisingly feeling jealous of Lacey.
"Not like that," said Nick, knowing exactly what his partner was thinking, "a good rule of thumb is to never date a sex worker."
"Hey," said Lacey defensively, "I'm not a sex worker, I'm an entertainer."
"Not now," said Nick to Lacey, "I'm trying to prove a point."
"So how do you know her," asked Skye.
"I suck at dating," replied Nick, "and I get lonely. I've always had a thing for white fur so I see this chick regularly."
"I'll get back to work," said Lacey as she left the two cops.
Nick watched as Lacey left, seeing her bare backside. Damn that tail, he thought, quite the ass.
"So you like arctic foxes," said Skye.
"You could say that," replied Nick, "I've always thought of myself as more fox than rabbit. Mom says I'm a lot like Dad in many ways, except I don't have a fetish for my natural prey."
"If only Chief Hopps heard you say that," replied Skye.
"She doesn't know that I frequent this place," said Nick, "and until you snitched on me the other day, she didn't know I smoked."
"It's not exactly good for you," said Skye.
"Hey fuckface," called out a voice Nick hadn't heard since the murder trial, "glad you made it."
"Who's this wackjob," asked Skye as she glanced over and saw a hyena with improvised clown makeup on his face.
"Name's Joker," said Joker who then bowed over mockingly, "madame." He then stood back up and gestured to his two associates, a bull and an antelope, "boys, grab 'em!"
"No," barked Nick as he unholstered his sidearm, an M1911 pistol, "you ain't killing me, nor the broad
"So it looks like Daddy's Boy got Daddy's gun," taunted Joker, "bet you can't shoot it worth a damn!"
"Joker," ordered Nick, "get the fuck down!"
Skye drew her M9 and aimed it at Joker as well, following Nick's lead. She had never been in a situation like this before, only simulations at the academy. Captain McBoot, as hard as he was, made damn sure that nobody ever got killed in his class. But now the only mammal she could depend on in this situation was someone she had yet to give her trust.
"I've got a message for ya, kid," said Joker, "Dave wants you to meet him in the Natural History Museum at noon tomorrow. Bring the bimbo too if you like but nobody else. Be there or we'll kill your mother. You don't want to become a twenty-eight year old orphan, do ya?"
"I hope you two animals die this time," said Nick.
"We probably will," said Joker, "hehehe, but Dave and I want to see how many mammals we can drag down with us. Tata, cunt! Hahahahahaha!" Joker walked away laughing, vanishing into the crowd with his two accomplices.
"Well that sucks," said Nick, "let's get the fuck out of here."
"Couldn't agree more," said Skye, unnerved by the confrontation.
ZPD Precinct One
"I'm not technically on duty anyways," said Chief Hopps as she pulled out a bottle of whiskey from her desk drawer, "you want some?"
"I don't really like whiskey," replied Skye.
"Suit yourself," said Hopps as she poured herself a rabbit sized glass, "For awhile, I was a borderline alcoholic, in between my husband dying and my son growing up to be such a pain in my cottontail. I have to restrain myself because I still love my job, being one of the few things in my life that's truly good."
"This isn't really my business anyways," said Skye nervously.
"If you're going to work this case with that partner," replied Hopps, "then it certainly will. Besides," she continued after taking a sip, "I think he likes you."
"Well he did tell me he has a type," said Skye, "but he definitely doesn't treat me all that good."
"His father was the same way back when I was a rookie," said Hopps, "that handsome bastard scammed me out of twenty dollars when we first met. Stupid jumbopop."
"But anyways," said Skye, "the two guys we're after expect Nick…"
"Junior," interrupted a slightly buzzed Hopps.
"And possibly me to meet them at the Natural History Museum tomorrow at noon," said Skye.
"Ah," said Hopps drunkenly, "the museum, good times. Almost died there twice, but good times."
"Or he'll kill you," said Skye.
"And," asked Hopps.
"That was it," said Skye.
"You know how to shoot a gun," asked Hopps.
"I was the top in my class in terms of marksmanship," replied Skye, "Captain McBoot even said so himself that I was the best shot since the original Nick Wilde."
"Can you shoot down a helicopter with a .45?" asked Hopps.
"No," replied Skye.
"Then you're not as good as him," said Hopps.
"Okay," replied Skye, "I'll remember that next time we patrol Yakistan."
"So how has my son been treating you anyways," asked Hopps, "I want to know if I should can him yet?"
"He's still a jerk," replied Skye, "but he seems to sort of be opening up."
"Glad to here," said Hopps, "I thought he might be more receptive to someone closer to," she paused, "whatever the fuck he is. You know, me, a bunny, the boy's mama. He told all of his friends he was a fox. You should have seen the looks on their faces when they found out he was related to me."
"Can I ask a personal question," asked Skye.
"That's why I have the whiskey out," replied Hopps, clearly drunk at this point.
"Why did you marry your partner," asked Skye.
"Because aside from the fact that he was the best at sex," replied Hopps, "it's because once we stopped hating each other he just fell for me and we became inseparable. Does that make you happy?"
Skye nodded yes.
"Good," replied Hopps, "now go the fuck home."
As Skye left Judy Hopps heard a familiar voice in her head, The kid's good. Really, she's like you before you became depressed.
"Why are you doing this to me," asked Hopps, "can't you see I have enough on my plate from up there?"
Hey, replied the voice, that zebra killed me. Of course I care. That and I don't want my boy to make any of the mistakes I did.
"Nick you son of a bitch," replied Hopps.
And I missed the version of you that didn't like to cuss, replied Nick Sr., so adorable. By the way, I think Junior should totally check out his new partner when this is done, I know he wants to.
"Goodnight honey," said Hopps.
Goodnight Carrots.
-Author's Note: So that ending, a little weird but I really wanted to have something like that in this story. Let me know what you all think.