Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf or any characters/situations associated with it.
Stiles is standing in the kitchen, staring intently at the teapot which, for some reason, is refusing to boil. It's as if some heavenly force has made a personal mission out of ruining Stiles' day. And by ruining Stiles' day, I mean keeping him from his morning cup of tea.
It has been well established that Stiles and coffee combine to make a fatal brew that is never to be concocted again. After the last incident, which has since been dubbed The Caffeine Debacle of 2017, the entire pack has permission to attack on sight if Stiles even picks up a cup of coffee. And, well, if he actually manages to drink it, they have a special term for the level of catastrophe they are about to face: Code Lavender. You may be wondering about the colour choice. Let's just say that Stiles may or may not have gotten ahold of three cans of lavender #12 paint and went a little bit overboard on the creativity. Derek's living room will never be the same.
Basically, this is a very long-winded explanation for why Stiles is currently - attempting and failing - to make a cup of tea at 8:00 in the morning.
Derek pads into the kitchen after a few more minutes of Stiles silently arguing with the teapot. And, like the bastard he is, he goes over and pours himself a cup of coffee, settling in a chair at the kitchen table to drink his holy dirt water. No waiting, no arguing with inanimate objects, just instant gratification. Stiles huffs and crosses his arms in an attempt to draw Derek's attention to his annoyance.
After a few seconds without any indication that Derek has picked up on Stiles' message, the brunette huffs again, this time louder, peeking at Derek out of the corner of his eye. The werewolf doesn't even look up, contently reading the morning paper as if all is right with the world and his husband isn't going through a crisis not ten feet away.
Stiles decides to huff once more, adding a groan for dramatic effect. His master plan works, and Derek finally looks up from the paper and raises an eyebrow as a silent question.
Stiles turns his body so he's facing Derek, his patented Stilinski pout in place.
"Everything okay?" Derek asks dully, absentmindedly sipping at his coffee and unknowingly annoying Stiles even further.
"No, everything is not okay. I think our teapot is broken. Either that or it's been cursed."
"And exactly how have you come to this conclusion?" Derek asks with disinterest, setting his coffee mug down, obviously unsympathetic toward Stiles' plight.
"It won't boil. It's been sitting there for ten minutes, and nothing. It literally has one job: boil water. That's it. And it is failing miserably." Stiles stops to glare at the teapot, which is still sitting silently on the stove. He turns back to see Derek opening his mouth, about to reply. "I swear if you are about to say a watched pot never boils I will make it my personal mission to make your life a living hell." Stiles growls before Derek can speak. Derek shuts his mouth abruptly, sighing as he folds his newspaper in half and sets it on the table.
"Did you turn the stove on?" Derek asks, and Stiles replies with an indignant exclamation, turning up his nose stubbornly.
"Of course, I turned the stove on. I'm not an idiot." Stiles defends, refusing to actually check. He knows he turned it on and there is absolutely no way-
Derek stands, walks over to the stove, and turns the dial that makes the burner start to heat up. "Yes, actually, you are." Derek comments, making his way back to the table and flopping back onto his chair, picking up the newspaper and taking another long sip of coffee.
"I knew that." Stiles mutters. "I was just testing you."
"Uhuh." Derek breathes out, not without sarcasm, flipping the page. Stiles grumbles something unintelligible and turns back to the stove, picking up right where he left off in his intense staring match with the cursed teapot.
It is silent for a few minutes as Derek continues to read and sporadically take sips of his coffee, and Stiles continues to make faces at the teapot. Finally, Stiles starts to hear a bubbling noise, indicating that the water is about to boil, which brings a random fact to the forefront of his mind. Usually, he would keep it to himself, at least when it's early in the morning, but he's feeling particularly vindictive at the moment, so he voices his thought without any further consideration.
"Did you know that if you kept yelling for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat up a cup of tea?"
Stiles hears Derek's mug thunk onto the table, and he can practically hear Derek's thoughts of annoyed disbelief. "...Why… " Derek groans.
Stiles is suddenly extremely passionate about this for no obvious reason. Don't judge him, okay? He's a very passionate person with very strong opinions and no shame to keep him from voicing said opinions loudly and as obnoxiously as possible.
"THE WORLD COULD RUN ON SCREAM ENERGY!!!" Stiles yells, flailing his arms and turning swiftly to stare at Derek in an attempt to convey the importance of this discovery. Derek jumps in his seat at the sudden exclamation, almost spilling his coffee all over himself in the process. Luckily, it was saved last minute by Derek's freaky werewolf reflexes, saving Stiles from Derek Hale's judgy eyebrows. Stiles swears they have a mind of their own.
The teapot finally begins to boil, breaking the tense silence that has settled over the room and drawing Stiles' intense gaze away from Derek's unimpressed one. Stiles goes about the rest of the process of making tea, sitting down at the table across from Derek after a few minutes of bustling around the kitchen.
"So, are we going to address-"
"Absolutely not." Derek cuts Stiles off, not even bothering to look up from his paper.
"That's probably for the best."
The rest of the morning passes without incident. Derek continues to drink his coffee and read the newspaper in silence, and Stiles finally gets to drink his tea. All is right with the world.