Neji took a drink from his sake cup. He had lost count of how many cups he had. Perhaps he should be counting the jugs he had finished off. It took at least this many to feel the effects of the alcohol. The dull buzz in his head help numb some of his emotions though he could not drink much further. Losing his faculties now could have dire consequences.

After being betrayed, it was hard to stay in the manor. How could he trust the guards when one had been seduced away from his side? Of course, the guards were not the only reason he was avoiding the manor.

He watched the performance below at the Heavenly Pleasure House, watching the entertainment. Down below, he could see Itachi dancing for the crowd. Itachi with his young face and delicate movements cross-dressed well, drawing the eye of people around him. It made him an ideal assassin as the majority of targets were men and often came to meet in establishments like this one. If Itachi could not intrance them on stage, he could observe them while he danced, reading their lips, and if he approached them, they would not find him suspicious as he could claim he saw them as he danced. Men appeared weak to what they deemed was a beautiful face. Even a god was captivated by Itachi's beauty.

Neji could not see what was so attractive about him. He could admit he could fit the standards of beauty. If he was kabuki actor, he would surely gain fame for the female roles and have many fans worship him, but Neji could not see it. He just seemed like any other Japanese beauty you could find anywhere in a brothel if you assumed he was a woman.

Case in point, there was a woman serving him now, pouring his wine as he listened to the head mother of the brothel, telling him the information that had been found. She too was beautiful. Smooth white skin, blood red lips, dark silky hair elegantly put up. For a prostitute, she was dressed modestly, someone who would normally not serve VIP clientele, but it did allow her natural beauty to be seen, and yet when she served him, he felt no attraction.

She was probably popular with her clients. She read moods well, not shamelessly flirting with him or even looking at him, knowing it would annoy him. For a woman, she was tolerable.

"Surely, you have better information than you are reporting to me," Neji said, drinking from his newly refilled cup.

"Only gossips and rumors I fear may waste your time," Tsunade took a drag from her pipe. "You were quite specific in what type of information you were searching for."

"I will decide what is useful or not. Tell me what you have heard."

Tsunade chuckled, blowing out the smoke she had inhaled. "Very well then, my lord, there has been one rumor that has been spreading amongst the gods. A foreign ship has been trying to dock in Japan for a while now."

Neji frowned. "That is nothing new. Foreign traders have been doing such things since the country closed. They will be sent away with time."

"I am hurt you think I do not know this. If that was the only thing, then I would not have told you." She took another drag from her pipe. "This is not a trader's ship, but a war ship. Just one. And they have been trying to get in contact with the emperor even after multiple threats to turn away. Now, they are aiming to contact the shogunate. Whoever they are, they are very persistent."

A foreigner's boat trying to access the mainland was not that strange, but for gods to be talking about it, it may be of something of significance. He would send someone to investigate the matter, but he did not believe it would help him find the individual he was looking for.

"I see. You may go." Tsunade had a sly look on her face. She did not like being dismissed so rudely. Neji imagined she thought of poisoning him if she could get away with it. Perhaps if things were different, he would believe she would never go through with it. Now, he did not know who to trust.

Thankfully, poison would not kill him, but it could cause pain or make him lose consciousness, so each new bottle, he had the woman at his side test it first. She had to know what he was doing, yet she still drank it without hesitation, with grace, and dignity. Why couldn't this woman or someone like her be his mate? Why did it have to be a man?

It had to be the gods' punishment. To mock him over his past mistake. He couldn't love a man. Not again. He had just been misguided. He could love women. He slept with them before, loving would not be hard. Who said mates had to be lovers anyway? It was not as if anyone understood what exactly mates did. There were so few who had found their mates. All anyone knew for certain was that it helped alleviate the pain of a long existence.

That was right. Gaara and him were not lovers. They were barely friends. Neji had no obligation to him other than sending him to his home country or let him live as comfortably as Japan would allow. He had no obligations whatsoever.

As she leaned over to pour another cup, he told her, "I will reserve you for the time being. Do not serve anyone else."

Rather than looking up with surprise, she reacted daintily, hiding her shock, and calmly responding, "Yes, my lord.'' The only reaction she showed that she was pleased was the small smile that she tried to hide. She continued to serve him until he finished the jug before he excused himself to return to the manor and continue his work.

He left the brothel, thinking about who to send to investigate the ship when he caught a glimpse Uchiha Sasuke. It was a brief glimpse of the guard before he turned the corner, entering an alley with a smirk on his face. Neji followed. As far as he recalled, Sasuke was known to come pick up Itachi at times, but Itachi was in the middle of a mission. There was no need for him to be here, especially in an alley.

Neji peered into the alley. Sasuke had someone pressed against the wall of the building, making out heavily with someone. The sound of their heavy breathing reached his ears as well as the rustling of clothing. Neji almost sighed with relief. As disgraceful as the action was, it was not a serious scandal. Sasuke had little presence in the city. Should he be caught, a rumor of an indecent scoundrel would spread but that would be the extent. All Neji had to do was send him away on a mission and the rumors would die down. A quick reprimand about being more discreet about his rendezvous with women, specifically to keep it in the brothel rather than outside it, would be enough.

Neji was about to leave when he heard a distinctly male and familiar voice reach his ears. "Uchiha, we can't…here." It was said breathlessly, stopping short when a soft groan escaped him.

"Told you not to call me that," Sasuke murmured against his neck.

Hearing the male voice was enough to make Neji boil with anger. His nails dug into his palms. Another one? Why was there another one of them among his people? He stepped out, the movement alerting Sasuke's trained senses.

Sasuke pulled away from his male lover, drawing his weapon in a swift motion with murderous intent in his eyes. But as quickly as he drew his weapon, he realized who was standing before him too late. He immediately dropped his katana, getting onto his knees to beg forgiveness. "Master, I did not realize it was you. Forgive my transgressions," he quickly said. Even the rebellious Uchiha would speak to him properly if he made such a mistake, but Neji barely heard it. His eyes focused on the identity of the male lover.

Uzumaki Naruto, who was quickly adjusting his yukata, cheeks glowing red as he hurried to bow. "G-good evening, Hyuuga-sama."

Him too? Was everyone in his estate entertaining this lifestyle? Had they all gone mad?

Neji's silence made both of them uncomfortable, forced to stay bowed in his silence. He had angry words, but they became lost when he was about to say them. An ugly feeling writhed in his chest, seeing them stand before him. How could they embrace each other so openly? How could they not say anything to defend their actions to him?

Unable to say what he wanted, he went to his default behavior, cold and in control. He was a lord. He did not have to say much to make them obey. "There is no need for you to come to the manor anymore," he said to Naruto.

Naruto's face fell as disappointment settled in, but he did not argue with Neji's dismissal from his tutoring position, keeping his mouth shut.

Neji's eyes then landed on Sasuke. He couldn't keep this person near him. He was susceptible to being used. "Uchiha Sasuke, you are confined to quarters. You are not to see this man again."

He did not expect any pushback. Given the situation, it would be suicidal to do so. They both were in the wrong after all. Public display of affection, Sasuke technically not asking his permission to leave the manor and drawing his blade against him, all were grounds for punishment, especially the last one, yet Sasuke said, "I am afraid I cannot comply with your order, Master."

Sasuke raised his head to look up at Neji, making Neji inhale sharply. Sasuke's eyes were silver.

Neji's jaw clenched tightly. Why did this have to happen and why Sasuke with that person of all people? He couldn't get rid of Naruto, make him suffer, or leave else risk upsetting a demon lord who had a good relationship with Seiryu but going after Sasuke would upset Itachi which would anger Seiryu, not to mention Shisui who was one of his advisors. Did that mean he was forced to allow it? He could not stop it. He could not defy two gods.

"Then you need not bother returning either. Itachi-san will send you orders." Neji could not bear to stand in front of them any longer. Could not even bear to look at them. Was there really nothing he could do? Why did he always feel as if things were out of his control, never going the way he desired. Would he really have to release Sasuke from his service when he knew too much about the inner workings of his manor? Or did he have to tolerate the risk of having a possible traitor in his midst?

The moment he returned, he holed up in his study. He did not want to think anymore. He wanted to forget, but that uncomfortable feeling in his chest that had appeared when seeing those two would not relent. What was this feeling? It was not disgust, but he was angry at them, seeing them in each other's embrace. He just wanted it all to go away and leave him be.

He scowled, seeing another mistake he had made when writing his letter to Minato. His temper was ready to boil over, having no place to vent it when the door opened with force. The brush in Neji's hand snapped. "Who dares—!" he started to yell but stopped when he saw Gaara standing at the entrance.

"Sorry. I haven't seen you in three days… I was worried…" Concern was in Gaara's eyes. He had become much more expressive during his time here, not as guarded when in Neji's presence. Of course, Gaara had not seen him, Neji had been trying to avoid the manor and Gaara as he sorted out his thoughts.

Neji exhaled, trying to expel some of his pent-up aggression, "It is rude to enter someone's office without permission. You have been here long enough to know this," he gently reprimanded, turning his eyes down and putting his broken brush away. He reached for another brush.

"I know, but…"

"What?" His tone was sharper than he intended feeling immediately guilty at the slight flinch Gaara showed at his tone.

"Didn't know… busy…" Gaara seemed to wither. He was brazen enough to run about as he pleased, yet he was acting so docile now. Though there was something fragile about him when his Japanese deteriorated when he was flustered. It made it easier to tell when something was bothering him.

Neji looked down, seeing the Go bowls being held delicately in Gaara's hands.

"Sorry," Gaara repeated. "I… want… see… sorry for intruding…" Gaara averted his eyes. It was obviously not what he wanted to say.

Neji's eyes glanced over Gaara's body. His garments really did bely the strong body hidden underneath it.

"The weather has been cold of late. Take care not to run about so carelessly else you become sick. Warm yourself here before you go back." Gaara's face lit up at his words, hurrying to step further into the study and close the door behind. "Natsu, bring the Go board and renew the coals in the room," he said softly, knowing Gaara would not be able to hear him clearly while Natsu waiting outside would. Gaara did react, looking back to him asking silently if he said something?

Neji stood up from his desk, going to Gaara's side and sitting across from him. Natsu returned with a board quickly and soon enough, they were playing Go, the soft clanking of the stones filling the room.

The rhythmic sound of the clanking stones was soothing, cooling Neji's frayed nerves. Gaara had improved again since their last match. His decisions were faster, and his grasp of the game was better. It was not too surprising if Gaara had been to war and had led soldiers before. You either had to have a strategy or large numbers to survive and it appeared for Gaara it was the former.

"Did you fix your problem?" Gaara asked.

Neji's face darkened but managed to say calmly, "I have not," placing a white stone down. Trapping six of Gaara's black stones.

They played in silence for a while before Gaara spoke again. "Can I help? I cannot read and write well, but I am good with numbers and can fight well." Gaara put his stone down. He still did not hold the stones correctly, holding the stones between his thumb and index finger compared to Neji who held it with his index finger below the stone and middle finger on top. Neji never corrected him in how to hold the stones.

Gaara had a rougher exterior from his hair, where his shorter strands curled, to his cross-legged way of sitting and posture. He carried the aura of someone with authority and dignity but lacked the posture and elegance of someone in that position while Neji was traditional and elegant in every sense of the word, sitting in the seiza position, always minding his posture, and doing things the traditional way. Their way of holding the stones, Neji's refined and soft movements to Gaara's straightforward and forceful placements, matched their perspective personalities.

"You do not need to worry about things that do not concern you. You are still young and should live without worrying while you can."

Gaara looked up from the board. "You always speak as if I am so much younger than you. How old are you?"

Neji kept his eyes on the board as he placed another stone, "Much older than I appear," was all Neji answered."

Gaara seemed disappointed about something, his jaw clenching a bit. "Even if you are much older than me, I won't speak as if you are higher than me."

"You think you are my equal still? You are quite brave."

"I am higher than you anyway."

Neji lifted an eyebrow. "Is that so? Please explain."

Gaara suddenly shut up, his eyes darting away. He was still tight-lipped about his background. Given his statement, he believed his status to be above Neji's. Interesting.

"Then how about we find a compromise? When addressing me in front of my men will you address me more formally?"

Neji was placing his stone down when Gaara returned with a counteroffer. "If I do, will you call me only Gaara? No san." The stone slipped from Neji's grasp, disturbing the placed stones.

"What?" his voice wavered, forgetting his manners. To ask him such a thing, did he even know what he was asking?

"I want to be called Gaara. Not Gaara-san." He busied himself fixing the board, returning the stones to their proper place. "Is it difficult to do?"

Neji tried to calm his heart, picking up his fallen stone. The boy was just ignorant was all. He meant nothing of it. So why did his heart pound and his palms feel slick? "To address someone in such a way would mean there is closeness."

"Aren't we close?" His question sounded so innocent.

"I refer to being a family member or lover. It is intimate." Neji held the stone in his hands, his eyes unfocused. This feeling.

"Neji?"

Instinctually, he looked at Gaara, unable to help himself. Gaara always called his name so gently. Sometimes it was softly, other times I was with excitement at seeing him. When Gaara called, he always responded. This feeling in his chest, he had thought he had forgotten it, but he did recognize it. The heat that would spread to his face and make his body weak. That made him feel anxious but made him crave more.

Neji stood up abruptly, his knee hitting the board and jarring the stones. "I remembered that I am quite busy. Playing with you now is a bit inconvenient." His voice tightened and sounded distant. It wasn't just his voice that was distant. He shoved his emotions back into that dark corner of his mind.

"I… do not understand."

"Leave," he said coldly.

Gaara listened to him. He didn't pressure him for answers or ask him to stay, he left, only stopping to spare a glance back at Neji and giving an awkward bow.

Neji sat back behind his desk, pulling his work towards him. He really had not learned from his past mistakes. "Natsu," he called, waiting for the servant to enter before giving his next order. "I need you to do something for me."

For the first time, he brought a woman into his garden. The woman from the brothel who had served him.

The past week he had been going to the brothel every night, listening to the gossip and even doing work. Each time, he requested this woman to serve him. Her name was Nanako. He found out that she was very popular, hearing patrons complain about her lack of availability. Whenever she spoke, her manners were flawless and her voice pleasant. She could sing and play the koto which she did upon his request. She was a highly desirable woman, her only flaw being a prostitute, but her status did not bother Neji in the slightest. In terms of women, she should be the ideal type in appearance, talent, and temperament. Whether she was a virgin or not did not matter.

So he kept her in his company, waiting for the feelings that were supposed to come when a man and woman were alone together.

As he walked, she followed a few steps behind him as a proper woman did, her steps light and dainty. She did not speak unless spoken to and as Neji was not one to speak much on his own, silence between them was the norm. Seated at the pavilion in the center of the gardens, she made tea for him and served him. She did it elegantly and beautifully as always. It appeared even while being favored by a lord she did not let it go to her head, never overstepping her boundaries.

"Is the tea to your liking my lord?" she asked.

Neji picked up the cup, taking a sip. As always, she performed the tea ceremony well and her tea was fragrant. "It is as if the flowers are blooming in my mouth. Your selection is flawless." He meant the compliment, but he preferred alcohol to tea.

"You praise me too much, my lord. My skills are still lacking, but your praise honors me."

A perfect answer too, Neji thought, drinking from his cup absentmindedly.

"Shall I recite poetry for you, my lord?" she asked.

Poetry often bored him. He learned it because it was expected of him to appear well educated, but it often did not move his heart as it should. "The weather is nice tonight. Fine music would make the tea more fragrant, would it not?"

She agreed with him and a servant went to get her koto, preparing it for her. Neji drank from his cup in silence as she prepared. As he waited, movements in the garden caught his eyes, drawing his attention like a moth to a flame.

Gaara was walking along the garden path a book in hand. Neji tilted his head, watching him fondly as the young man's eyebrows drew together in concentration as he read. Neji watched him, wondering how long it would take him to realize Neji was sitting under the pavilion.

Neji leaned on his fist, a small smile playing on his lips when Gaara almost walked into the pond again. "It is inadvisable to try to take on two tasks at once. Especially when one can barely do the first task during the day let alone at night."

Gaara looked up, stopping just in time before walking into the pond. Lips thinning, he backed away carefully. "Neji," he said. Awkwardly, he bowed. He was still quite klutzy, making Neji's smile grow. "The moon is bright. I thought the air would be nice."

Neji watched him, his eyes glowing in the low light. While there was nothing abnormal about what Gaara had said, he rarely spoke that way. His way of speaking often reflected his direct thoughts rather than conceal them. What made him change his way of speaking?

Neji glanced at the book in Gaara's hands. "What has captivated your attention and made you unaware of such dangers?"

Gaara made that face he always got when trying to dissect a sentence he was struggling with. It was a look that conveyed confusion, determination, and concentration. It was a mind at work. "I am reading Naruto-san's book. He gave it to me. It is called Kazashi no Hime."

Kazashi no Hime, a romance story written when Neji was younger. He couldn't pinpoint the date of when but it was somewhere between 200-300 years ago. He did not miss how he had called that person's first name. Did Gaara and that tutor have such a good relationship? He did not like it.

"I did not know you enjoyed stories of that nature."

"He said it would help learn new words and appre… appreci… like Japanese literature more. It is hard to understand but easier than Genji Momogatari."

Uzumaki had Gaara reading The Tale of Genji? Wasn't that too advanced for a beginner? The language had changed since when it was written. It was already over 300 years old when Neji was born and over 600 years for Gaara. "Did you understand Genji Momogatari?"

Gaara shook his head no. "That is why he gave me this."

Well, the fact Uzumaki even had a copy of these two books was impressive by itself. "Studying too hard is bad for your body. Come enjoy some music before you retire for the night."

Gaara's eyes darted to the girl, making Neji glance at her as well. He would make sure she would keep Gaara's presence a secret. If she valued her life, she would not talk.

Gaara joined him at the table under the pavilion, taking a seat beside Neji. "Will you eat with me tonight?"

"Have you not eaten though it is so late?"

"We usually eat together so…."

Thinking back on it, Neji had spoiled him by eating with him almost every night since his arrival. Did that mean Gaara had not been eating dinner lately, waiting for Neji to visit him?

Neji's eyes glazed over with thought. He meant to put distance between them, and he intended to keep it that way, but avoiding him completely would only confirm he was running. "I will eat with you," he finally said.

Gaara smiled. That simple smile was brighter than any light and warmer than any fire. Neji had to look away, feeling his face begin to heat at its sight. This was nothing, he told himself. "Nanako-san, please grace us with your music."

The young woman looked up, then averted her gaze bowing slightly. "Yes, my lord."

She began to play. It was a song Neji had heard before. It was one of his favorites and was played at the brothel often. Whenever she played the koto for him, she would play this song at least once. Without telling her, she seemed to have figured out he liked this song.

The song was light and calming and the lyrics would play through his head of a tragic tale of an injured warrior trying to return home. During his journey, he reflects on the beauty of life, coming to terms with his inevitable death, wanting to see his wife one last time. The warrior hallucinates seeing his wife and grown son, dying just outside his village before he could see them.

Making peace with death. There had been two times he had made peace with death, just before he had joined his lord and master and shortly after he had turned. Once he achieved his revenge, he was okay with dying. He never wanted to live forever.

Gaara listened intently, watching the woman's hands delicately pluck the strings. He had that look on his face. The same look he had the night Neji had taken him to the brothel to meet Seiryu, a nostalgic look. Neji waited for the song to finish, being polite to her before speaking. "Your playing is elegant and beautiful. You must have worked hard to have become so talented," he complimented her appropriately.

"I am happy it pleases you, my lord."

Courtesies out of the way, his attention went back to Gaara. "What did you think of her performance?"

"It was pretty. I think of my qanun in my country. It sounds quite same but…." He frowned, trying to come up with the correct words. "I… I do not know the words to use. I would have to show you."

Show? "You can play an instrument?" he asked surprised? Gaara nodded, looking almost longingly at the instrument. Did he miss it? "Would you like to try to play a song?"

Gaara's eyes widened and his body locked up. Why was he so nervous? "I-I couldn't. I have not practiced, and I do not know the instrument well. I will be bad."

Was that all? "Are we not friends? Do you think I will be offended if you make mistakes with an unfamiliar instrument? I will think of it as a child learning to play for his parent."

Gaara frowned, his bottom lip protruding a little. "Whose parent are you?" He stood up, marching over to the koto which Nanako relented to him.

Cute, Neji thought, watching the young man settle behind the instrument. He was provided Neji's old picks from a servant. Neji had tried to learn the instrument a long time ago, but had lost interest, choosing calligraphy and art as his choices in cultural learning. The picks fit on Gaara's fingers snuggly.

Tentatively, he plucked at the strings, listening to the pitch and moving the bridges, tuning the koto as he played and experimented with it. He liked watching Gaara's mind at work, trying to decipher the koto.

"I think I tuned it properly," he said slowly, looking up at Neji through his bangs. His hair had grown quite a lot these past months. He had started to do his own hair. He had called it a braid, three strands intertwining to keep his hair out of the way. Amazingly, his hair did not become undone when he braided it, not using anything to keep the hair in place. He had started braiding it in camp, teaching Haru how to do it before he left, but was not as skilled as Gaara was yet.

Gaara breath out slowly as his fingers brushed over the strings, and suddenly, his fingers were moving, at a rapid place, playing a fast pace melody using scales and rhythms Neji had never heard before. Due to the tuning, it barely resembled the koto he knew. A small smile played on Gaara's lips as he played and grew more comfortable with the instrument, even tuning it more appropriately mid song.

The song wasn't what Neji would call elegant, but free spirited as Gaara's fingers danced across the koto's strings. He would make mistakes and even with Neji's unfamiliarity with the music, some were very obvious, sounding so wrong that Neji could not help but think of it as such, but the free movement Gaara displayed, rather than the poised touch and posture of a koto player, made him like it. Even Gaara's often stiff and guarded body seemed to melt at the music as it played through the air.

Gaara's hands stilled, his smile gradually disappearing from his face until it seemed he was lamenting. "Sorry, it was clumsy. The music I learned during my traveling from people on the street. It is music of dance and commoner stories. It is not … sophas…sophisti…"

"Sophisticated?"

Gaara nodded. "I can try more traditional homeland music or something closer to Japan's music."

But that wasn't what Gaara wanted, Neji noted. He seemed almost ashamed of his talent. The music was strange, and Neji could not tell how much of it was performed correctly, but judging from Gaara's expressions, it must have been done fairly well with how comfortable he had been during the performance. There was no doubt he was skilled with stringed instruments, being able to perform with little time. "Can you play another for me?"

A simple request turned the young man's expression around, warming Neji's chest because he had been the cause of it. Gaara played another song, this time singing in his native tongue to accompany the song. He was a bit shy as he sang. His voice wasn't strong and it was hesitant as if he wasn't used to singing in front of people. Rather than clear and light like the women who sang in the brothel, it was guttural with lots of vibrato. It was also unfamiliar and strange, but it was fascinating to listen to. Gaara never spoke in his native tongue except for mumbles in his sleep. This was the first time he had done so awake and aware.

Neji could not tell what the song was about. He could not decipher what emotions Gaara was singing, but from the tone of the song he was playing with the koto, it was much more somber and slower. Should he say he liked it? He wasn't sure, but he knew he did not want to see the nervous or anxious look on his face.

He finished, avoiding Neji's gaze. He quietly removed his hands from the koto, putting his hands in his lap. Why was he so insecure about his performance all of a sudden? "You are very talented. Your family must be pleased with your ability."

It was supposed to be a compliment, but Gaara seemed to shrink away from the compliment. "It is late. I will go to bed. Maybe eat tomorrow." His voice was subdued as he awkwardly bowed his head. "Good night, Neji."

Quickly, Gaara dismissed himself, walking with urgency just short of a run. Had he said something wrong?

"My lord, the tea has gone cold. Should I prepare more for you?"

He had forgotten the woman was there. "No need," he responded, already returning to his glacial persona. He watched her work. Why did he still feel nothing? When she performed, he liked her music, but that was all. When the song ended, he did not think about her or have lingering thoughts about the songs she played.

What was wrong with him? Why did he feel nothing? The perfect woman beside him and he could easily send her away without remorse or second thought. Perhaps he was not meant for marriage. Some men were better off being a womanizer, sleeping with many. It was what he had always done. He slept with women. That should be enough proof that he no longer had those types of thoughts and feelings, right?

It had been a while since he had laid with a woman. That must have been why his thoughts were getting confused lately. "Your playing earlier was very soothing. Perhaps you could perform for me again in a more intimate location."

She smiled at him, bowing delicately. "I would be honored, my lord."