Ten days on horseback traversing over rivers and mountains. Barely stopping to eat or sleep. If he stopped, his mind would wander. He would wonder where Gaara was and what he was doing. He had to be on a boat by now, starting his long journey home. Two weeks ago, Neji would be waking up about now, gazing out his window in his half-awake state to see Gaara. Gaara would be out in the gardens reading under the pavilion with the sun lowering behind him, his sword at his hip ready for sparring later that night.
Whenever he had time to think, those were the thoughts and memories he was plagued with, so he pushed himself, keeping himself occupied. Gaara was gone and no longer his responsibility. There was no point dwelling on it anymore. Not when he was so close, entering Kyoto.
He only took a few people with him. Four guards, Sasuke among them. He wanted to travel incognito. If this hint was legitimate, his brother would quickly pick up on his approach. And the hint did seem to have some legitimacy.
When they entered the city, they did some information gathering. It was subtle, but there was evidence that his brother was staying near the city. People who had gone missing on the outskirts of town who would not be missed. The only person who dared to investigate found dead with accurate and clean wounds from a sword found in the Kamo River. Freshly planted tsubaki found near Mount Hiei. It was looking like this was his brother after all.
So close. He was so close. After so many years. What if he lost him again? No, more importantly, how was he going to handle confronting him. When he thought of his brother, he felt rage, a consuming rage and need for revenge, but as he closed in, about to obtain his lifelong goal, something inside him wavered. The hatred was still there, but where the hatred stemmed from was complicated. Some of the happiest moments in his life were caused by the person who gave him the worst.
If Neji could send a spy to check for his precise location, he would, but after years of evading him, Neji knew his people would be sensed and avoided. His brother had always been skilled at evading the enemy. He should have been a spy rather than a samurai.
They did manage to get a general location, and he and his men were planning to close in quickly to verify the information and confront him if it turned out to be true.
Neji could see Mount Hiei from his room in the inn. They planned to arrive at their destination at sunset. While dawn was the worst for vampires, they took precautions during that vulnerable time, making sunset the next best thing, as they were waking and not fully alert, but relieved to have made it to the next night, letting down their guard. Neji had been working on transitioning to the day schedule the past several days to prepare.
"Shall we get going, Master?" Sasuke asked. His normal rebellious attitude and his normally proud speech were toned down, replaced with obedience. He only acted like on missions, something Neji rarely got to see nowadays as he normally stayed within his mansion rather than doing fieldwork himself. As he gained more responsibilities over time, it became increasingly difficult to leave. It was this serious behavior that reminded Neji why he kept Sasuke around. When it mattered, he knew his place and set an example. His personality wasn't too bad in that regard.
"Yes. Let us depart."
They went on foot, leaving the horses behind. As annoying as climbing the mountain was, horses would give away their position. His guards scouted ahead, trained in stealth and adept at using their ki. Neji followed at a distance, keeping out of sight as his guards divided, intending to approach from all sides. Sasuke remained the closest and within Neji's reach.
It appeared someone really was at the small temple. There were a few mercenaries wandering the mountain on patrol. Sasuke made quick work of it.
He moved quickly, faster than a human eye could follow, appearing between two of them, striking both at the throat crushing their windpipes. He quickly dispatched and hid the bodies without a single disturbance in the area, not even a spec of blood behind. This repeated multiple times as they made their way up.
It felt too easy. He knew Sasuke was skilled. Neji even used human guards himself during the day, but it seemed unreal as they edged closer and closer. His anxiety grew as the distance to the temple shrank. Was this really going to be it?
Soon the temple was in front of them. Sasuke went on ahead to scout the temple and see if their target was inside. Neji waited outside, hidden. He knew it would be more practical to let his guards kill his brother on sight. Neji was a samurai. He did not practice ki usage, keeping him within the realm of human abilities, and his guards could utilize stealth to get close and ambush him quickly. There was no need for Neji to face him, but he could not give the order. He had to do it by his own hands, had to confront him himself, had to get revenge himself. He had to be the one to make him breathe his final breath and force him to submit. It was the only way.
His eyes roamed the area. Just peeking out from behind some trees on the right, away from the temple was a hot pink tsubaki flower. Neji inhaled, then held his breath, freezing up. There. He thought. He would be there.
His body did not want to move. It was like his joints had rusted, and he had forgotten to breathe. But then he recalled his rage. His humiliation. His tarnished honor and dignity. It fueled a fire, and his hand tightened on the hilt of his sword, and he made his way over.
He stayed in the shadows, just peering around the trees to get a quick look. Just beyond the trees was a small clearing, filled with tsubaki. Just seeing the field of flowers filled him with emotions he violently pushed down, but worse was seeing who was kneeling in the flowers.
Neji could only see his back. Even from the back, he could recognize that silhouette. He had seen it so many times. The man in the field had broad shoulders. His dark brown hair was in a messy ponytail, strands falling out due to its short length. His neck was a little red from being out in the sun so often and was as tan as Neji remembered it being.
His heart clenched painfully, then iced over as his expression turned cold, unsheathing his sword.
"You've finally come, my brother." The man's voice was deep but light, borderline playful. It had a warmth that got to people, softened them. The man stood, brushing off his clothes, and dropping the gardening tool he had in his hand.
When he turned, time seemed to stop for Neji. That face. A little older than when Neji left. Maybe 5 years older. His face was round but had defined cheekbones. But what was starling was the color of his eyes. Rather than a warm amber brown that always pulled him in, it was molten silver. "Neji-kun, it has been a long time."
Neji's mouth went dry looking into those silver eyes.
It could not be what he thought. He tried to steel his emotions, stepping out from behind the tree with his icy stare. "You really have no shame, calling me that. But you will not live long enough to regret it." Neji turned his sword on him, lowering himself into a stance.
His brother did not grab the sword on his hip. Rather, he lowered his head. "It is too late. I already regret. My mistake cost you so much."
"Mistake?" Neji almost growled, his anger pushing against his rationale. "You bastard. You call what you did a mistake after you purposely set me up?"
"I would never!" His head shot up, his eyes pleading. "I believed the venomous words of that fox woman. I truly was convinced of your guilt. Why would I ever want to hurt the man I love if I did not truly believe he was responsible for killing my master?"
Neji almost flinched at that word. Love? He tightened his hold, making his hands tremble. "Even now, you still spout lies. Do you think I am still a child who would listen to your charmed words? Or do you think I have grown old and forgotten the words you said that night?"
"I had no choice, but to take them back. I thought you had killed our master. Could I give my affections to you? You had dishonored your name and did the most unspeakable crime a samurai could do. It was best to cut myself off."
It made sense. Too much sense. And those silver eyes. Those silver eyes looking into him. Even with the color change, they were warm and familiar. The same eyes that had given him happiness and hope. He swung his sword, stopping at his brother's neck, nicking the skin and drawing blood. "And yet you hid from me, avoided me. You mocked me. Taunted me. Your cowardice betrays your intentions."
"I hid from you because when I found the truth, I thought you were dead. When I learned of your survival, I was too ashamed. I do not deserve your forgiveness. But I have never mocked you. Don't you remember that night? You would not speak no matter how much I ask. Your silence made me doubt you. How could I have confidence in you when you would not speak out? But I never mocked you." His eyes wandered down and watered with frustration. "I was a fool. You must have been scared to death. Your mind a mess. Of course, you would remember me mocking you since it was my duty to sentence you. With everyone jeering you, how could you not see the same thing on my face?"
His brother lifted his head, exposing his neck more to Neji's blade and pressed against it, drawing blood once more. "If I must die, it should be by your hand. I am satisfied seeing you, seeing the affection still in your eyes after everything I've done," he smiled gently at Neji. "Seeing your eyes silver like mine. I realize now how much I have truly lost."
The sword shook. Memories of the past were flooding his senses. The pain. The humiliation. But also the love. Love he had once held for his brother. The good moments. His large gentle hands on his head. The long summer nights. The comforting words that were once whispered to him.
He had been too afraid and confused to talk that night. He had not defended himself. He was terrified and grieving. Long ago, he tried to make sense of why his brother had done those things. It was so long ago he could not remember why he had hardened his resolve that his brother was guilty. But his brother's eyes were silver. And his was too? Did that not mean he and his brother were mates? Did fear play tricks on his mind, did his anger twist his memories of the past?
His brother caught his hesitation. He took a tentative two steps, standing in front of Neji. Neji did not lower his sword but did not attack either. He was rooted, unable to look away. With exaggerated slowness, not wanting to startle Neji, he raised his hand, touching Neji's face softly, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. "How much you must have suffered because of me," he whispered his words full of sorrow. Neji did not notice the distorted air around his brother's fingers as it brushed against his temple.
Neji's eyes blurred with tears, unable to hold his sword against his brother's neck, dropping it. Desperately, he leaned into his brother's touch, placing his hand over his brother's to keep his touch from leaving. His touch was still warm and smelled of earth. His rough, calloused fingers brought comforting reminders with them. The past he intentionally forgot to keep his hatred fueled. Every good moment, every wonderful memory he had buried deep down and ignored because it had brought crippling grief at their reminder resurfaced at his simple touch. "Onii-san," his voice broke as he said it aloud.
His brother took another step, embracing him fully. "We're alone. Call me Shukaku."
"Shukaku," Neji whispered, bringing his hands up with only slight hesitation before holding him tightly. "Shukaku."
"That's right," he said smiling widely, stroking his hair affectionately like a pet. "Cry. I won't let you go."