Chapter 3 - Showers are a Gift from Olympus

After lunch I went aboard the ship. It was high time for an actual nap. But I found Nico in my cabin.

"Uh." He started. I held my hand up.

"It's fine." I assured him. "We didn't plan for you, so there weren't any other cabins. I don't mind, really." He still looked troubled. I came in and sat on my desk chair, Nico still perched on the bed like he wanted to run.

"Nico…. Knowing what you went through, and you went through it alone…" The sentence hung in mid-air.

Nico nodded, slowly. "I get it."

I looked at him and realized he understood what I meant to say but failed to find the words. All the admiration, the gratitude, the sympathy.

Then he took a shaky breath. "So, you forgive me for not telling you where Percy was? And about the Roman camp?"

I shrugged. "Mostly." I admitted. "There's still a small part… well, let's just go with mostly." Nico nodded and gave me a small smile.

"Get some rest, Nico." I told him. "You've got another big journey ahead. Is there anything I can do -"

He shook his head. I slid open the top drawer of my desk and tossed him a candy. "Here. These are some Japanese candies I like. Strawberry. It won't help with your quest, but it'll feel good for a minute."

Nico smiled at me. "And sometimes we just have to take it minute by minute." I nodded at him. Sometimes, that was the best we could do. After Tartarus, both of us knew that well.

I grabbed a clean set of clothes from my cabin and left the son of Hades to get some sleep.

I went straight to the girls' bathroom. Remember when I said air was wonderful? Yeah, hot showers are even better. The water coursed down my body, washing away two weeks of monster dust and debris. I sighed in relief and delight. I had never felt something so good in my life. I washed my hair and worked all the knots out - I didn't have a brush or any need for one in Tartarus. I toweled off - towels are SO soft! - and braided my hair down my back loosely. I pulled on my jeans and found I might need a belt. I had lost both weight and muscle in Tartarus. My camp t-shirt hung off my body.

First, I went to sick bay - my skin had started peeling off in the shower so it was time to put something Will Solace taught me to use - a demigod burn ointment. I got the ingredients ready, mixed two parts nectar to ten parts aloe vera and added a bit of pain relief cream Will had given me. Even though the Phlegethon water seemed to heal Percy and I's blisters, well, our skin still looked like we had spent the last two weeks at the beach with no sunscreen. I coated myself in the concoction and went to find Percy to do the same to him.

"This smells weird." He complained as I rubbed it across his shoulders.

"It should smell like aloe and nectar." I explained. "That's the two main ingredients."

"You think it'll help?"

"Definitely." I kissed him gently on the lips. "All done. Let it dry for a bit, ok?"

He nodded and I left to go see if Piper had a belt, since I hadn't packed one. I found Piper and Hazel in Piper's room. When they saw me, they beckoned me in.

"Ok. So we know better than to ask about Tartarus. But, we've been hanging out and thought you might want to have a girls' night." Piper explained.

I smiled at them. It sounded so silly after all the seriousness of Tartarus. But in truth, I thought it might be exactly what I needed. So I flopped onto Piper's bed. "Ok, so what are we talking about?"

Hazel held out some nail polish options for me and I picked a light blue one. She began gently painting my nails as she said, "Well, Piper's been teaching me about stuff from modern day. I still don't understand the point of Snapchat -"

I waved her off. "No one understands it, trust me."

Piper and Hazel laughed. It felt so good to be back with my friends again that I didn't even mind Hazel adding little flowers to my nails.

At sunset I found Percy with Nico and the others at the Athena Parthenos. I didn't know what had happened, but Percy looked upset. I slipped my hand into his and he smiled.

"Good luck." I told Nico.

"Yeah. You too." Nico replied, but he didn't meet my eyes. I wished there was something I could do to make him more comfortable. Reyna and Coach Hedge came up to us.

Reyna, to my shock, hugged me. "We will succeed." She promised me. I couldn't help but feel happy that she was starting to trust me again.

"I know you will." I assured her.

All three of them and the Athena Parthenos dissolved into the shadows. I went to help Leo get the ship ready to sail.

After we had cast off, I found Percy standing by the rail. His eyes were closed, smelling the salty air, feeling the wind. I knew it because I felt it too. I had always taken these feelings for granted. That had changed. Everything, every moment, suddenly felt like a gift. I saw his smile turn to a grimace. I knew he was thinking about all the bad things that had happened down there. I walked up to him on the rail and pressed against him, ready for him to pull away. For him to accuse me of leaving Bob and Damasen to the deaths. He looked at me, his eyes full of pain.

"I know." I croaked. It was all I could manage. "I can't get that place out of my head either."

"Damasen. And Bob."

"I know." I waited. I knew it was coming. Percy would lash out, tell me off for being so cold-hearted. "We have to make their sacrifice worth it. We have to beat Gaia."

Percy stared into the night sky, not saying anything more. Then he turned to look at our friends.

"We got a good crew. If I have to sail to my death -"

"You're not dying on me, Seaweed Brain." I said it as a command, but really, I was so scared to lose him again. "Remember? Never separated again. And after we get home -"

"What?" Percy said, hopefully.

I kissed him and was relieved that he didn't pull away. "Ask me again when we defeat Gaia." I told him with a smile. He smiled back and I realized that maybe, he didn't blame me after all. Maybe he understood. And that, most of all, I knew he still loved me. And for today, that was plenty.

"Whatever you say." He said, brushing my hair with his hand. I turned back to the rail and Percy stood behind me, arms wrapped around me, our hands overlapping on the rail. We watched the skyline darken and the stars appear. "Bob says hello." He whispered to the stars and I felt my heart break once more.

That night I lay awake in bed. Nico had had Buford the wonder table take my sheets to be laundered earlier in the day, which was sweet. They were fresh and clean now, which felt like a luxury beyond anything I had ever experienced. I pulled on my fresh pajamas and ran my hand over the soft fabric. Every sensation felt more vibrant since coming back to the mortal world. My pajamas hung on me loosely. I looked around my cabin. It felt so different now. My laptop was gone, and with it more knowledge than I could have ever wanted. I would grieve for it, someday. The same with my knife. It had been with me longer than anything else in the world. Both meant a lot to me, but not as much as my friends, as much as Percy. My new sword lay propped against my desk, in easy reach in case of attack. I looked at it and thought of Damasen, choosing his own destiny. A tear traced down my face. I knew that he understood what his choice would mean. But Damasen had thought it worth it, to give Percy and I a chance at life. I hoped I could live up to that gift.

I saw the photo of my dad sitting on my desk and thought about my mortal family. My dad probably didn't know I had even been in Tartarus. If he did, he would never understand the full weight of it. Heck, I didn't think anyone could. Except Percy and Nico. They would know. But my step-mom, my half-brothers? They would all be blissfully unaware that the world was about to end. They'd be going to work every day, worrying about why someone got their coffee order wrong. My half-brothers were old enough for summer camps this year. They'd be going swimming, maybe learning to surf. I realized that Damasen's choice mirrorer my own. Percy and I had given up our regular lives, time and time again, ready to die to make sure that the mortals would have a chance at a good life. I shivered, thinking about that. I thought about my other friends.

Tyson, Grover, Thalia, everyone back at camp. They all deserved a chance at life. Even if Percy and I died in Greece, we could at least honor Bob and Damasen that way. I nodded, coming to peace with that decision. My eyelids were drooping. I crawled under my clean sheets and sighed with happiness.