Chapter 4 - I Clear the Air (Which is Still Delicious)

The nightmares found me. Percy and I were falling, clinging to each other in the dark. We had no idea what was to come. All I knew was that it was my fault. My fault for getting sent to Tartarus. My fault Percy was there. He could've let me go. He could've saved himself. Then the dream shifted - the burning of the Phlegethon, then Bob's face as he pushed me back into the elevator, knowing it was the last friendly thing he would see. Another shift - the moment I found Percy gone back in December, my heart thudding as I saw his completely made bed and knew something was very, very wrong.

I woke up with a start, covered in sweat. Where was I? My bunk. The Argo II. The quest to save the world. Right. I was still breathing hard so I tried to take deep breaths to steady myself. The dreams felt so real. I crawled out of bed and down onto the floor. Feeling the solidness of the floor helped. I reached under the bunk and pulled out my teddy bear. I've kept the thing for years. Thalia and Luke had won it for me at a fair we went to on the way to Camp. I've held it after most of my nightmares. I kept it in the bottom of my locked trunk at camp - no need to have anyone tease me. I held it close to me and sat on the floor, trying to calm myself. Think about something else, Annabeth. Break the train of thought. Think about… architecture. Yes. Those columns I had installed in my mom's temple on Mount Olympus. I loved those columns. The scroll along the base. The olive leaves along the top. The specific marble I had chosen. The light veining in it, reflecting the light perfectly. Eventually, my heartbeat slowed. My breath stabilized. I heaved a sigh of relief. Panic attack avoided.

I was still shaken - badly. I still worried about all the things in my dream. They were all real - none of them were made-up worries. All of them had really happened. Part of it felt silly, but I wondered if Percy was really gone. Quietly, I snuck across the hall and into his room to check. I watched him for several minutes, still trying to reassure my mind that he was really there. He was drooling like the first time I saw him. Yeah, love at first sight everyone. My mind was still racing. What if this was an illusion? What if he got his memories wiped again? I couldn't bear it. I gently pulled back the covers and sat on the bed. Percy woke up, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Wha -"

"Shh… Everything's fine. Go back to sleep." I told him, then laid down next to him. It was a tight fit, but made me feel better.

"Uh…. What about -"

"The Coach is gone." I reminded him softly. "And I…. I need to be sure you're really here, ok?" I caught my breath, trying not to cry, the feelings from the nightmares still fresh in my mind.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and laid back down. "Yeah. I get that." He assured me. I could feel his breath stirring my hair and smiled, knowing we were safe, as I heard his breathing change back to the deep pattern of sleep. I fell asleep fast and this time, the nightmares stayed away.

I got up in the morning before the others and slid out of Percy's room and back into my own. Most of the day was spent resting. Hazel and Frank were still recovering from their wounds. Percy and I were still exhausted. Jason and Piper took over guard detail along with Festus. Leo spent the day down with the engine - what was he doing? I knew I should probably help, so after breakfast I went down to the main engine room.

"Leo?" I asked him. He was stuck in the crawl space of the engine room, but could only fit up to his tool belt, so his butt and legs were in the open.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, need any help?" I heard some banging happen inside the walls.

"Not unless you can fit in here. Sometimes scrawny is a super power."

I grinned. "I lost some weight and muscle in Tartarus. I can probably -"

"Nah. Seriously, Annabeth, thanks for the offer. But I like working in here."

I nodded and sat next to him, my back against the wall. "I missed you." I told him honestly.

There was silence from the crawl space and then I heard a small voice say, "Yeah. I missed you too, actually. I even missed the crazy I'll-kill-you stare."

I laughed.

"Uh, Annabeth?"

"Yeah, Fire Guy?" I asked him.

"I, uh, I wanted to apologize."

I was stunned. "For what?"

"I got this fortune cookie from Nemesis. She said if I opened it she could help me, but only for a price. She said it'd be more than losing an eye. I'm pretty sure…." I heard him cough. "Well, I'm pretty sure the price was you and Percy going to Tartarus." The statement hung in the air for a moment. "I didn't want to open it. But Hazel and Frank were in trouble and I didn't see any -"

"Leo." I interrupted calmly.

"I promise, I would never have -"

"Leo." I tried again.

"Frank said I didn't care about my friends, only about machines, and that's not true, I -"

"LEO." I said loudly, firmly, trying to cut him off.

I heard what sounded like crying from the boy in the crawl space. I spoke softly, "Leo. I don't blame you. I don't think Percy would either. You were in a horrible position. You did what you needed to do. I don't know if Tartarus was punishment by Nemesis, or maybe Hera wanting to kill us, or Aphrodite trying to make our love life more interesting. There could have been a thousand different things -" I took a breath. "I blamed myself for it too, you know? If I had been paying more attention, I would have noticed the web attached to my leg. Percy didn't have to come - he made a choice to join me. And yeah, I feel guilty about that. But Leo, you? You have nothing to feel guilty about. I promise."

I heard some soft crying still coming from the crawl space. "You really don't hate me?" I heard the voice say through some hiccups.

"No." I told him simply. "I mean, you're still like an annoying little brother, but I don't hate you. I don't blame you even a little. So try not to avoid me, ok? We're still the only two on this ship that like building stuff."

I heard him laugh, which was good. "Ok. And, uh, thanks, Annabeth."

"You're my friend, Leo. Don't forget that."

After my chat with Leo I decided it was time for another nap. My body still hurt from my transition back from Tartarus. My lungs weren't used to non-toxic air. My blood still felt weird and light, like the oxygen had been replaced with helium. My muscles and bones hurt and felt weak, like if I even raised a sword I'd tear something. I found Percy when I got up. He was in his cabin, laying on his bed and clearly thinking about a lot. I closed the door behind me and perched on the desk. He was sitting up now, watching me.

"Why'd you close th-"

"We need to have a serious talk." I explained cautiously. "About… well, about something from you-know-where."

He nodded, looking at me cautiously. "Ok, so…"

I took a deep breath. "Percy, I'm worried. Scared, actually. That you blame me for leaving Damasen and Bob and that you'll hate me. I know this is your fatal flaw, I was trying to look out for us both. I thought it was our best chance to stop Gaea. I would never have left them if there was another choice, but there was no way you and I could have faced down that army to save Bob and Damasen. I just -"

Percy had gotten up during my words and suddenly pulled me into a hug. I hadn't realized it but I was shaking - badly. I was so scared that after everything we had been through, my choice was going to be what split us apart. He held me and stroked my back until I stopped shaking.

"I know why you did it, Annabeth. It's...well, it's not ok that we left them, but I understand it. I wish there had been another way. But I know there wasn't. Not really. Anything else would have just killed you or me. So I get it. You're a commander, a leader. And sometimes that means you have to make hard choices. I just wish -"

"I know." We stood together, trying not to forget the brave heroes who'd let us back into the world, while also trying not to succumb to the pain. It was strange, like walking on a tightrope.

I turned to look into Percy's eyes through my tears and saw matching tears fall from his face. "You really don't hate me, then?" I asked it in a tiny voice but felt it was almost too much to hope for.

Percy pulled me into a long kiss. "I promise, nothing has changed between us, ok?"

I sobbed in relief and pulled him back to me. We stayed in a hug for a long, long time.