Title: Unrequited? Not!
Rating: T
Pairings/Characters: Buck/Eddie, Eddie/Ana, Buck/Taylor
Warning: Not Taylor Kelly Friendly, language
Word Count: 2,688
Notes: 9-1-1 Bingo Square: Requited/Unrequited love. Buddie Bingo Square: Insecure
Unrequited? Not!
Buck tried to be the dutiful boyfriend to Taylor. He listened to her when she told him stories about work. He nodded in all of the right places when she went on and on. He made sure to laugh when it was warranted, despite not thinking it was very funny.
If Taylor needed a plus one for a work function, unless he was on shift, he made sure he was available.
Even if it meant canceling on Eddie and Christopher.
He was sure Eddie understood. After all, Eddie canceled plans with him more than once to do something with Ana.
And Buck ignored the painful thump of his heart as he thought about the pretty Latina that was perfect for his best friend.
Sometimes, he wished things were different. Actually, more times than not, he wished things were different.
But he knew Eddie would never look at Buck as anything more than a friend. Ana was the right person for Eddie, the perfect person for Eddie. There was no one more perfect for Eddie. Buck would have to learn to deal with just being the best friend. And that would have to be enough.
At least Buck had Taylor.
xXx
Eddie's skin felt itchy. He had been worried it was maybe an allergic reaction or some kind of infection. But he didn't actually see any kind of rash on his skin. He was so worried, and even more afraid of it possibly being contagious, that he went to the doctor a couple of days ago on his day off.
The doctor confirmed there was no medical reason for the itchiness. She questioned whether it might be psychosomatic.
Eddie hadn't confirmed or denied it verbally, but he was thinking about when the itchiness always manifests. And it was whenever Ana was around.
First, it was panic attacks, and now it was unbearable itchiness. And it all had to do with Ana.
He looked over to where Ana was watching the movie. She seemed engrossed in it, eyes glued onto the picture.
Christopher was reading in his room.
So, Eddie didn't feel like he had to put on the happy act. He closed his eyes as he leaned back on the couch, resting his head on the back of it.
He knew he should break up with Ana. This relationship wasn't working.
Although he didn't really know how to break up with a girl, he knew it was the right thing to do. But he wasn't sure what was stopping him at this point.
He knew it wasn't because he was afraid of hurting Ana. Yes, he didn't want to hurt her, but he knew staying with her even longer when he knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere would hurt her more in the long run. It would be easier to end it now, so Ana could find someone that loved her the way that she deserved to be loved.
And it wasn't Christopher either. The two of them had talked and Christopher admitted that while he liked Ana, if Eddie wasn't happy, then he should break up with her. Christopher had said he didn't need a new mom. That he was happy with the way things were before. He was a smart kid and had known exactly what Eddie needed to hear.
So, the two main reasons that Eddie should have trouble breaking up with her were non-reasons.
But still, something was stopping him from ending it.
Eddie opened his eyes and tried to go back to watching the movie, but something caught his eye. Hanging on the wall, above the television, was a framed picture of Eddie, Buck, and Christopher.
And right then, the itchiness stopped.
As he gazed at the picture, everything settled within Eddie, and he felt calm.
And Eddie knew. He knew exactly why he wasn't breaking up with Ana.
Because Buck wasn't breaking up with Taylor. Despite how wrong the two of them were for each other.
Once he realized what he felt for his best friend, Eddie did his best to stuff them down to the deepest and darkest recesses of his heart. He wasn't going to lose the best friend he ever had because of unwanted feelings. And he wasn't going to make Christopher lose someone who was essentially, a second father, because Eddie couldn't control his feelings.
He was trying so hard to just be Buck's best friend. So, he didn't get angry when Buck canceled on him because Taylor needed him for something. He knew he had no right to get angry.
Buck had no obligation to give all of his free time to Eddie and Christopher. Buck had his own life. Buck deserved his own life. He deserved to find some happiness for himself. No one deserved a little piece of happiness more than Buck.
Still, it made him hate Taylor just a little bit. He just hoped she didn't take him for granted or toss him away when he served his purpose. He just hoped she wasn't another Abby, and she knew how lucky she was to have Buck.
Buck deserved the best. He deserved to be treasured and valued. And although Eddie had his doubts about her, he hoped Taylor would prove him wrong.
xXx
His conversation with Taylor echoed in his mind as he sat in his truck, staring at the entrance to the 118 before his shift was set to start.
'It's been fun, Buck, but let's be honest, it's not going anywhere.'
'I've been trying so hard, Taylor. I've done everything you've asked of me. What have I not done?'
Taylor rolled her eyes as she flipped her red hair over her shoulder. 'The sex is great, Buck. But that's all it really is. Great sex.'
Buck swallowed. 'It was more than sex, Taylor. I listened to you when you talked about your day. I went with you to work functions. You stayed the night at the loft more than you went home. You don't do those things when it's just sex.'
Taylor didn't look impressed. 'First of all, you listened when I talked because we can't have sex every time we're together. Every now and then, we need to cool off, so we talk. It's better than silence. Second of all, I invited you to work functions because I wanted to show off my hot firefighter boyfriend and impress everyone with who I snagged. Third of all, I spent the night because after we had sex, it was easier than driving home.'
'Taylor, you told me you had feelings for me.'
She shrugged. 'I tried to make this work. Really, I did. But I'm bored. Screwing the same guy every night leaves a lot to be desired. And no matter how talented you are between the sheets, variety is the spice of life, and I'm not built for monogamy. And let's be honest, Buck. You're not really the relationship type either. So this is goodbye. Maybe I'll see you around. I wouldn't mind a session in your bed every now and then when the mood strikes.'
And then she was gone. Out of his loft. And out of his life.
He hadn't said it to Taylor, but the only reason he wasn't the relationship type was that all of his girlfriends seemed to want to ditch him when the relationship lost its shine.
And yes, maybe he wasn't into Taylor. Maybe there was someone else he preferred to be in a relationship with. But he had tried so hard to be what Taylor wanted.
And it wasn't the breakup itself the hurt. That barely stung. It was the fact that once again, he wasn't good enough for someone. And once again, it was so easy to walk away from him. He wasn't even worth a glance in the rearview.
It was the same thing every time.
A knock on his car window jolted Buck out of his thoughts.
He looked and saw Eddie. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He kept staring out of the windshield, though.
"You okay?" Eddie asked.
"Fine," Buck muttered.
"I believe that. You want to try again?" Eddie asked.
"Taylor broke up with me last night."
A look flashed across Eddie's face.
It was gone before Buck could figure out what it meant.
"What happened? Did you guys have a fight?"
"Nope. She decided that she was bored with the whole monogamy thing. That all this really was for her was sex. And then she said that I should be honest about the fact that I wasn't the relationship type either."
"That's bullshit. She's turning it on you, so she doesn't have to feel guilty about being a cold-hearted bitch."
"Maybe she's right, though. After all, my longest relationship was with Abby and for a lot of it, she was probably done with me before I realized it. And then there was Ali, who was out of town for the majority of our relationship. Taylor was the first girlfriend that I saw regularly the duration of the relationship. And I guess it was just too much me. Some people just shouldn't be in a relationship. And maybe I'm one of them."
Eddie gripped Buck's left shoulder, trying to ground him with his touch. "Buck, if anyone deserves to be in a long-term, loving relationship, it's you. You have so much love to give. You just need to find the right person to give it to. And Taylor obviously wasn't the right person."
"Then I have lousy taste. I should have been able to find that right person by now, but I seem to always fall for the wrong people. The people I can't have. The people that have no interest in me, other than friendship. Or the people that just want to use me until they get bored."
"Buck, you will find the right person. They're out there; I know it. You just need to be patient."
"Maybe I won't. Maybe there's just something in me that makes it impossible to love me for any length of time. Maybe I'm just too much to deal with. Too exhausting for any one person to deal with."
xXx
Eddie's heart broke.
He knew Taylor would pull something like this. When they first started dating, he should have told Buck that it was a bad idea to date Taylor. That she was wrong for him.
Buck might have not listened, but at least Eddie would have tried to spare Buck's heart from taking a beating.
Add onto the fact that he wished he could go back in time, and stop himself from ever uttering those words in the parking lot of that grocery store. He had been so angry, but he should never have told Buck he was exhausting.
He had accused Buck of making it about himself, but in reality, Eddie was guilty of that.
When Buck disappeared from his life, it was a wake-up call. It made Eddie realize how much Buck meant to him. That losing Buck felt like losing Shannon when she disappeared from Texas, leaving only a note in her wake.
And realizing that he was in love with his male best friend was scary all on its own, but not being able to talk to him, made the realization even worse.
And instead of thinking rationally about what Buck was going through, he took his anger and frustration, and all of his pent-up emotions, out on Buck.
And what's worse was he never even apologized for those words.
It was two years later. But it was never too late for an apology. And Buck deserved it.
"I'm sorry."
Buck blinked as he finally looked at Eddie. "For what?"
Eddie's eyes were soft. "I never knew you still carried those words with you all this time. I should have known because I know you. I know how you take things to heart. But it didn't even occur to me. I should have apologized two years ago, but I didn't. I can apologize now, though. I'm sorry for what I said that day. I was angry, pissed off at the world. Pissed off about a lot of things. Confused about some too. So, I unfairly called you exhausting, but that is so far from the truth. You're not exhausting. You feel everything so much. You're loving and loyal. And anyone would be so lucky to have you love them."
"Then why does everyone leave me?"
Eddie took a deep breath. He put his finger to Buck's chin, making sure Buck's eyes didn't leave his. "I will never leave you." He swallowed. It was now or never. "I will never leave you because I love you too much."
He knew he just left himself open for heartbreak, but Buck needed to know there was someone that loved him. Someone that saw how special he was. Someone who valued him as the amazing person that he was.
"You love me?" He uttered, completely perplexed at the concept.
"Yes, with all of my heart."
Buck lifted his hand so it touched Eddie's wrist, which was attached to the hand that kept Buck's face in place. "I love you, too."
Never once did Eddie think Buck would say the words back. He leaned forward, but before their lips touched, Buck turned his head, breaking Eddie's tenuous hold.
"I love you, but while I'm officially single, you're still dating Ana. And I don't think you're the kind of person that wants to cheat."
Eddie sighed. He wanted Buck's lips on his, but he knew Buck was right. Ana didn't deserve to be cheated on. That certainly wasn't fair to her when she hadn't done anything wrong. "I'll break up with her after shift."
Buck nodded.
Eddie backed away so Buck was able to get out of the truck. He closed his door and started walking to the 118.
Eddie watched Buck move to the entrance.
Buck paused when he realized was at his side. "You coming?"
Eddie shook himself out of his thoughts, which were focused on Buck's ass-hugging jeans. "Yeah, coming. And thinking about how very long this shift is going to be.
Buck clapped his hand on Eddie's shoulder. "We'll get through it. We waited this long. We can wait for one more 24-hour shift."
xXx
Buck had been home for almost three hours since his shift ended. As soon as he walked into his loft, he went up to his bedroom, fell face-first on the bed, and took a nap.
He just woke up about 10 minutes ago. He was standing in his kitchen, contemplating whether he wanted to eat or take a shower first, when he heard a key in the lock of his front door. He shifted his weight to face the door just as it opened.
And Eddie walked in.
Buck stared. And waited.
"It's done. She was sad, but she thought it was coming. She actually asked me what took me so long to do it."
Buck nodded and moved to him.
"So, am I allowed to kiss you now?" Eddie asked hopefully.
"You better," Buck threatened.
They stared at each other for a couple of moments before Eddie grabbed Buck's face with both of his hands and dragged his lips down to Eddie's waiting mouth.
When they came together, it was like fireworks exploding in his brain.
Buck groaned as he eagerly returned the kiss. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was how to kiss and make it good.
Eddie's deep growl sent shivers down Buck's spine.
They pulled back but didn't move out of each other's space.
"I love you," Eddie said.
Warmth filled Buck from his toes all the way up to his head. "I love you, too." He wasn't naïve to believe everything was going to be great now. He knew nothing was ever easy. But with Eddie, putting in the work would be worth it. Eddie was worth it.
And with the way Eddie was currently looking at him, Buck was pretty sure the other man thought he was worth the work too.
Notes: Kind of turned into a fix-it scene for when Eddie called Buck exhausting in season 3. It always bugged me that we never saw Eddie apologizing for that, even after they made up.