Lamia Scale was a large brick building surrounded by an appropriately large parking lot, that even now was at least a third of the way full of cars. There were no windows in the building, only a pair of double doors. They all stared up at the sign, the logo and script matching Loke's t-shirt, now worn with the name and logo facing out on the front.
"A strip club." Lucy let out a sigh. "Of course it's a strip club."
Cana slurped her iced coffee. Large dark sunglasses protecting her eyes, sensitized by her hangover, from the bright sunlight. "Yep."
Lucy took a few steps forward, turning on her heel to face the other three. "We go in, we get our answers." She gave Loke a pointed look. "We do not get distracted by scantily clad women."
"Lucy," Loke flashed her a grin, "do you really think so little of me?"
"Yes." Lucy nodded. "Yes I do."
Cana let out a snort, watching Loke's face fall.
Before his friend could respond, Gray cut in with his own quip. "Don't worry Lucy, I'll keep him in line."
The inside of Lamia Scale was better than Lucy was expecting, maybe even bordering on classy. Or at least as classy as a strip club was capable of being. There were some people, mostly men, sitting around the stages, which were likely to be much more lively later in the evening. There was something about hanging out at a strip club around noon that just struck Lucy as sad.
"Jog any memories?" Lucy watched her friends shake their heads. "Let's see if anyone remembers you then." With her head held high Lucy led them over to the stage. Hopefully at least one of the strippers would have some recollection of what happened last night.
A busty woman with bright pink hair did a double take as she saw them. A smile broke across her face, giving them a wave.
"Maybe you did make a friend last night." Gray bumped Loke's shoulder with his own.
"Hey there handsome." The stripper came up to Gray who's eyes widened in shock. If there was anyone he would have assumed would get friendly with a stripper it was the man next to him. "Back for more?"
Lucy side-eyed Gray. "Well I think it's safe to say you were definitely here last night."
"Did Ice Cold here not mention me?"
"No he did not." Lucy stared Gray down.
"I'm Sherry. Rhymes with Cherry." She let out a laugh as she took in the expression on Lucy's face. "Oh honey don't get jealous, he wasn't getting lap dances."
Lucy crossed her arms over her chest, letting out a huff. "I am not jealous."
"He was working the pole."
"I was what?" Gray turned to his friends, giving them a pleading look. Hoping that somehow they would refute what Sherry had said.
"You don't remember?"
Cana braced herself with a hand spread on the stage snickering. "That is priceless!"
"We don't really remember anything from last night." Loke flashed her his most charming smile. "I was hoping, since you remember us, you might be able help us out Sherry."
The woman sat on the edge of the stage. "You came in, but there were two other men with you."
"Pink hair and spastic?"
"That was one of them."
"Blue hair, red face tattoo?" Gray supplied.
"Yeah. You all bought him some lap dances."
Gray curled in on himself. "Erza's going to kill us."
"Then you." Sherry pointed at Gray. "Said something about 'I'll show you a stripper.' and started working the pole."
Gray dropped his face into his hands, letting out a groan.
"And then someone spilled a drink on your top," she turned to Cana, "So you took it off and threw it up there." Following her line of sight Cana was greeted with her top from the night before hanging from a disco ball. "And then you," she pointed at Loke, "took off your shirt to cover her with."
"Guess that explains why I woke up in your shirt Loke." Cana continued to stare at her top.
"It was really quite sweet." Sherry beamed at Loke. "Which is why we gave you a t-shirt."
"What can I say, it's just the kind of man I am."
"Yeah." Sherry let out a giggle. "Then you went to the atm and pulled out a bunch of ones so you could 'make it rain'," She used finger quotes around 'make it rain'. "On your friend."
Sparing her idiot friends from any more embarrassment, Lucy chose to steer the conversation back on track. "Do you have any idea where they went, or maybe where they were before coming here?"
"Yeah." She perked up. "You said something about a wedding."
"Jellal's getting married tomorrow."
"Well your friend with the blue hair, he actually was asking about places to get married."
Cana nearly dropped her iced coffee, horror coloring her features. "Oh no."
"Erza is going to kill us." Gray hunched down, hands clenching his hair. "She is going to make it long, and painful and-"
"Gray!" Lucy snapped her fingers in his face. "Focus." She turned back to Sherry "Do you know where they went?"
"We gave you directions to this little chapel Blue Pegasus." Sherry gave them all a smile. "It's one of those cute, little 24 hour wedding places."
"Would you mind writing that down for us?" Lucy handed over her notepad and pen.
"Sure thing sugar." The woman scrawled the name and address of the chapel onto the paper. "The owner Bob is a real sweetheart. I'm sure he'll be happy to help you out."
The walk back to the car was silent, all four of them lost in their own thoughts. Lucy, the practical journalist was coming up with a game plan. She knew that people got married in Vegas everyday and there had to be a significant portion of those that were spur of the moment regrets. Annulments were there for a reason, and if Jellal had married someone else there was a chance the license hadn't been sent out yet and they could get to it before it even had the chance to be filed. Absolute worst case he and Erza could go through with the ceremony and actually file the legal paperwork later after the annulment. It also helped that she of course had not been there the night before. Lucy Heartfillia was only helping out after the fact, and that would hopefully leave her out of the line of fire of Erza's legendary wrath.
Cana's thoughts went back to Loke's assurances to Erza over the phone that she had not been here. If Jellal had married a stripper, there was no reason for Erza to believe she was involved. On the one hand she hated the idea of leaving her two idiots to face the brunt of Erza's wrath, on the other, it was Erza's wrath and if she could avoid it you damn well better believe that she would.
Gray couldn't believe this was happening. Jellal marrying someone else? It seemed unthinkable. So unthinkable that he knew Erza would place the blame firmly on the other members of the bachelor party. He held onto the slim hope that it wasn't Jellal that had married someone. Maybe he'd been asking for someone else. Please let it be Natsu marrying a stripper. Please please please.
Loke was focused on not devolving into a panic attack. He'd been on the other side of Erza's displeasure before, and the thought of what she would do if he helped to get her fiance married to a stripper barely twenty four hours before her wedding scared the living shit out of him.
They piled back into the car silently, Gray taking shotgun automatically. Loke was hunched over, elbows on his knees as he tried to focus on anything but his impending doom.
"Loke you alright back there?" Lucy glanced over her shoulder at the normally talkative man.
"Loke's terrified of Erza." Cana rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to soothe his frayed nerves.
"Why?" Lucy knew there had to be a story there.
"We knew Erza back in high school." Gray began to explain. "Then, when we took Loke home with us from college for summer break."
"You took him home with you?" Lucy's lips quirked up in amusement at the wording.
"Yeah." Gray angled himself towards Lucy, shooting a glance back at Loke in the backseat. "You know how someone has to take the class pet home with them over break."
"I am not the class pet." Loke groaned out.
"You're kinda like our cat." At Loke's noise of protest Cana began ticking her points off her fingers. "You lounge over everything, bother us when we're busy, nap in the sun, and knock shit off tables."
"That was one time Cana." Loke whined at her.
"That was a bottle of red wine Loke." Cana shot back
"That was an accident. You know I didn't mean to; I was just trying to get your attention."
"See?" Cana gestured towards him. "Case and point."
"Anyway we wound up at this get together. Erza was there." Gray continued the story. "First time he met her he tried to come onto her."
"Did she slap him?" From what she's learned of Erza as she got to know her, Lucy can imagine what kind of response Loke's flirtation might have wrought.
"She put me in the hospital." Loke winced at the memory
Gray let out a chuckle. "That's a little dramatic."
"You mean he didn't go to the hospital?"
"Oh no. He did." Cana leaned forward, contributing to the story. "Had to drive him myself, happened so soon after we got there I didn't even have a chance to drink anything, lucky for him, but he wasn't even held overnight or anything."
"Three fractured ribs Cana." Loke held up three of his fingers. "Three. Do you have any idea how much a fractured rib hurts, let alone three?"
"Oh come off it. We all know you milked that for everything you could." Cana arched a brow at him. Continuing in a poor parody of his voice. "Cana I need you to help put on my lidocaine patch."
"I had decreased range of motion due to the pain."
"Cana I'm thirsty would you go fill up my water for me."
"It was my right side and it hurt to move."
"Cana can you go buy some more ice cream, we only have vanilla."
Loke grimaced. "Maybe that one was milking it. But the rest were valid."
"Alright then." Lucy interrupted them. "Let's go find Jellal, and hopefully there won't be any trips to hospital for any of us."